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Chapter I
During the First Age of Middle-earth, the Quendi separated into several groups, some went to Valinor, following Oromë who brought them the words of the King of the Valar; Manwë. And others remained in Middle-earth, including the Nandor, a group of Teleri who went to live in Ossiriand.
During the awakening, a couple was formed, Laivaraitiel and Hothongil, they were both great friends of Denethor, son of Lenwë, the leader of the Laiquendi. Hothongil and Denethor vigorously fought their enemies under the light of the stars of Varda, because at that time, there was only this light to illuminate Middle-earth, for, Laurelin and Telperion did not radiate so far from Valinor.
The Laiquendi were simple, unarmed people and therefore, they were easy prey for Melkor and his shadow creatures. Laivaraitiel often complained to her husband, explaining that she no longer wanted to live in a climate of constant terror, that she did not want her life to be made of war and fear and Hothongil understood her but there was no place to take refuge, and they were not and did not want to be Thingol's subjects, although they were allies.
He told her that her life could be made of something other than fear and war and he wanted to conceive a child with Laivaraitiel, and although she was afraid of inflicting this fear on her child, she wanted with all her heart to have a small part of herself and her husband to cherish every day.
This is how in Ossiriand, near the Gelion River, Nyéni was born. A sweet child Laiquendë born under the stars, with great sensitivity and whose tears were similar to the silver color of the stars. She was not carefree, she was aware of the pain the world was suffering, but she was not afraid; she was sorry, and she cried wherever she walked in Ossiriand.
Denethor loved this child tenderly, when he visited Hothongil, he often spent time with Nyéni, although she did not talk much. He taught her to make bows and arrows, he told her about the Valar, the coming of Oromë, from whom he heard that the light was a blessing and an immense comfort for the heart of the Quendi who could contemplate it.
Nyéni shared this affection. She was quick to hugs of comfort, and she liked to put her head on the strong arm of Denethor, uncle of heart, listening to his stories. But alas, fear struck the Laiquendi again, leading them to war for this battle under the stars that was terrible for the Nandor and the people of Thingol.
When the start for the battle sounded, the agitation was palpable. Nyéni was lost, she watched her father leave with Denethor and her eyes were filled with tears, until her vision got troubled and saw nothing more. Her mother tried to console her, they hid together by the water and Nyéni's tears resounded, she thought she heard a soft voice coming from afar, once feminine and tender but Nyéni did not pay much attention to it at that time. Her mother was afraid and she wondered what would happen if her husband or Denethor did not reappear.
"Nyéni, my daughter, don't cry, it's not yet time for tears, we will probably be victorious."
“Even if we are victorious, people will die.”
"Are you afraid for your father?"
"I'm not afraid, I'm sad, for everyone. For all those who will die when they are only guilty of having come into the world and existing.”
Laivaraitiel felt an immense wisdom in her child's words, and she contemplated her, understanding that her future was greater than that of a Laiquendë, and that her role would not stop at what her birth had prewritten of her.
In war, Denethor and Hothongil fought together and their arrows pierced the enemies as well as the blades of the Sindar. Hothongil called Denethor when he walked away:
"Denethor! Denethor! Come back, it's too dangerous! Come back!”
But Denethor was furious and he tossed himself into the battle, using bare-handed his arrows to pierce the leather of Angband’s Orcs. Hothongil felt the danger that hung over his friend's life, he ordered that a blockade be formed to protect their Lord, but they could not form a circle and the blades of the Orcs eventually reached their target. Denethor fell, taking one last look at his friend Hothongil, understanding that his end was near.
On the ground he was trampled, but mad with grief, Hothongil advanced and fought the Orcs around the corpse of his friend, brother of heart, and he protected his body as best he could. For this, for his respect and his feats of arms, he was proclaimed Lord by a group of Laiquendi, survivors of the battle.
When they returned, carrying the body of Denethor and so many others, Nyéni cried a lot, tasting for the first time the mourning in a personal way. A mound was erected for Denethor, and on it Nyéni delicately placed a wooden and dry leaf doll that Denethor had made for her.
Hothongil was crazy with grief and living in Ossiriand no longer made any sense to him, he did not want to stay where his friend wasn’t anymore. Together with his wife, Nyéni and those who had proclaimed him Lord, they left for the West. Not the Blessed and luminous West but the West of Middle-earth, near the coasts to the south, in Falas.
Chapter II
Nyéni was not aware that her father had become Lord, because what is the Lordship when a people is dispossessed and exiled from their country? She was not aware that she was the heiress of the Nandor people, because nowhere else were there other Lords than her father.
And they still had to fight, but they were valiant and their arrows flew far, they learned to improve them, to poison them, creating one of the most feared weapons by the Orcs, who feared the venom it spread in the open wounds. Nyéni had regained her smile, near the sea and she was cheerful, although always prompt to melancholic moods.
There, at the coasts, where she spent much time, she made an encounter she did not expect; a beautiful creature came out of the waters in majesty, magnificent and powerful and when she spoke to her, she recognized the voice that had spoken to her near the Gelion river during the battle under the stars.
Uinen had come, softened by the child's lamentations, and curious at the sight of new joy and the rumor of the people of Elves making the Orcs tremble near the coast.
"Sweet child of the lands of the shadow, what is your name?"
Nyéni hesitated, because she was aware of the intelligence of the enemy in the North and believed in a deception, but an aura came out of Uinen that inspired confidence and she replied:
"My name is Nyéni, I am Laiquendë of Ossiriand, but my family came to live here after the death of our Lord Denethor."
“Denethor son of Lenwë?”
“Yes, Lenwë was the Lord before him, but I knew Denethor much better, he was my friend.”
And the child's face became dark again, on her knees near the water, her hair delicately touching the water, she shed a few tears that vibrated on the surface.
"I'm sorry your friend Denethor is dead. Where are your parents?”
"My mother makes weapons and my father is on guard, because many Orcs come to attack us. We are an easy target since we cannot flee because we are either by the sea or by their threat to the East."
"So you're all alone..."
"Yes, mum says I have to accept to take care of myself, because they can't always take care of me and be at war. She wants me to stay near the water, so that I have a chance to survive, if the last of the guards, those closest to me, manage to kill the Orcs."
"Your mum is smart, but you must be very bored."
“Yes... A little...”
Uinen raised magnificent shells from the bottom of the sea and they sailed at the foot of Nyéni. She picked them up and was amazed. She played with them in the presence of Uinen, who stayed with the child for a long time and who would come to meet her every day to watch over her.
She did not get tired of Uinen's enchantments, she sometimes went into the water to join her thanks to the rocks that went far away and from where she dived laughing. Uinen brought sea creatures to her, and Nyéni played with them. She really had joyful moments when she was with Uinen, and a bond was created between them, as Nyéni managed to detach herself from the torments of her people.
Uinen wanted to take her to Valinor, but she was afraid of the Valar's anger, and she did not dare to ask Ulmo for his support, because she was scared that he would order her to leave the little girl behind her and not to visit her anymore. She kept silent, but every day, she watched the child play and talked to her and all she thought about was asking her to follow her to Valinor.
One day, she went back to see Nyéni, but she was not there, and on the horizon she did not see her. Her heart was torn, because she knew that something serious had happened, and she bitterly blamed herself for not daring to take the little girl with her. The sea was unleashed for several days, because of Uinen's grief, and she returned every day in the hope that Nyéni would be there and that she could take her with her. Terrible indeed, were the events that pushed Nyéni to desert the rocky beach.
Nyéni was on the beach when she heard howls behind her, they were those of her people. When she understood what was happening, she let go of her shells and froze, she did not know what to do, until she heard the cry of wargs, and she understood that they were numerous and that her people had no chance, the rear guard was being devoured and she would soon have no more protection.
She turned to stretch her arms towards the sea hoping that Uinen would appear and take her in her arms in the sea. This did not happen, and Nyéni launched herself into an unparalleled race towards the South until she was able to drive into a wood that protected her more and offered her the opportunity to hide. The wargs had smelt her, and for days they looked for her, lured by the appeal of the hunting she had provoked and by the taste of blood that the murder of the last survivors of a valiant people had generated.
She was injured in her race several times but she never stopped running, until she felt that life would escape her no matter what she did, so she went up to the North, joined the rocks where she had taken so much pleasure jumping to swim with Uinen and her creatures. There, she stretched out, exhausted and dying, waiting for the wargs to find her and devour her in turn.
But that was not what happened, because Uinen in her grief returned to the coasts, and at the sight of Nyéni lying on the rocks, she regained hope, she did not seek to know if she was alone, or if her parents were close, she took the child and deposited her on the back of one of her creatures, who, only half immersed in the water, transported the child to Valinor. Uinen was worried, Nyéni had her eyes open, but she was as if emptied of her soul, terrified, she was afraid that she would succumb to her pain. Her gaze and wounds spoke for her, whatever she endured, no child should ever have to endure it, what she had seen, no child should ever see it.
When the child was deposited on the banks of Valinor, a gathering of Valar came and watched Uinen with wonder and contempt. Ossë asked her while looking at her seriously:
"But what did you do?"
Chapter III
She lowered her eyes and began to fear their anger and a great council was ordered. The child was taken and she was placed on the ground, curled up on herself, mute, surrounded by the Valar and the Elves, whose Lords were at the head. Then a great dialogue began, and noting that the child did not speak, everyone turned to Uinen, ashamed and to Ulmo, since the child had crossed the ocean: his domain. But he was angry, because he was not aware of the existence of this child and her journey to their lands, so he turned severely to Uinen to whom he dryly asked for explanations.
"I'm sorry for what I did, I should have done things differently, but I'm not sorry that she's here with us."
Looks of disapproval began to be perceived and indignant whispers plunged the room into slight chaos.
“She is a child of Ilúvatar! In the same way as all the Elven Lords present here and who, for some, look at her with disgust! She is a child who was not lucky enough to be born here, nor to have been an adult when choosing whether she wanted to live here or in Middle-earth. She is innocent and sweet, I know her well, I became fond of her.”
Manwë interrupted her:
"How? How did you befriend this child? Who is she and where does she come from? What is her story?”
Uinen took a moment, considering that the words she would now utter would determine the future of the child. But before she spoke again, Anairë tore off her cloak and covered the child on the ground who seemed to be cold and trembling, probably more of terror than cold. But the child grabbed the cape and hid almost entirely under it, her eyes that went beyond the cape crossed those of Anairë, and the Elf Lady took pity on her. Uinen therefore continued:
"Her name is Nyéni, she is a Laiquendë, of the people of Lenwë and Denethor after him. After Denethor's death, part of her people went west to Falas. They were a target of choice for the Orcs, and for that, they spent their days fighting or making weapons. I met Nyéni on a rocky beach, she was alone. She lacked love, and I had some to spare. I stayed with her, I played with her, I listened to her, I sang for her, I told her stories, I swam with her, and this, every day for several months now. I wanted to ask Ulmo for help to convince all the Valar to let her come here, so that she could have a better life. But I was afraid of your anger, O Valar. And I began to think that it would be cruel to take her away on her own, but I was wrong, I am lucky that she is still alive, although in a worrying state. If I had shown more courage, she would not be traumatized today, marked for life by the horror of what she went through and of which I still know nothing. I have only just found her after coming to the coast for several days calling her. She came back only when I brought her here. I was afraid she would die, and I know she can find healing here. I am ready to suffer the consequences myself, but for pity, on behalf of Eru, don't send her back there."
Many were touched by her words, Nienna cried, tilting her face to contemplate Nyéni's little terrified eyes, and she understood her pain and grief better than any of those who were present. And it will never change, she will forever be the one who best understood Nyéni since that day.
All were able to give their opinion, few were unfavorable to let Nyéni live here, among them came first Fëanor, who spoke harshly against the little girl, to the great regret of Nerdanel, and some of his sons, sorry to see a young Elf suffer like this. Fingolfin shuddered hearing his brother's words, disgusted by his indifference and his considerable lack of compassion and kindness. The Valar were for her to stay, although some considered that Uinen should be reprimanded for her gesture, but Varda turned to her husband, and she ordered him not to reprimand an act of sincere love. Manwë therefore spoke:
"O Valar, O Elves. I heard your words, and considering the story told by Uinen and the state of the girl, I decided that she would stay in Valinor to live and be raised here. However, she will not be raised in one of the dwellings of the Valar, she will be raised among Elves. Also, I appeal to the Elves Lords present here, who of you will adopt this little girl and raise her as his blood child? She could one day benefit from a ward title for her Lord and father.”
The room became silent, Nerdanel advanced, she wanted to take the little girl with her. But Fëanor brutally opposed it, pulling his wife by the arm to make her stand behind him, telling her indiscreetly:
"What are you doing?! Stay here, don't you see that this girl is cursed and that she brought her curse here? She has nothing to do among the High Elves of Valinor, let alone among the Noldor.”
Fingolfin, hearing his brother, went into rage but rather than confronting him, he looked at his wife who wanted to take the child with her, so he took Anairë's hand and went forward, saying:
“We will take her for our daughter, my wife and myself. She will be raised with my children and in the dignity of the royal lineage of the Noldor. I promise to take care of her and do everything I can to make the pain she suffers today fade and maybe disappear. Whatever the shadow that weighs on her heart, we will replace it with love.”
He then turned to his brother Fëanor and smiled mockingly at him: this would not fix the tensions between them. Fëanor had trouble accepting that a Laiquendë could enter the royal line, moreover he never accepted it. From that day on, he devoted a nameless hatred to the innocent child who was taken as a daughter by his brother, not for what she represented but because through her, he considered that his brother had challenged him.
Uinen was relieved by the turn of events but she was no less ashamed for Ulmo, whom she regretted having upset. She went to see the child in the middle of the room on the floor, but she remained mute and did not move. Uinen knelt, helpless, and looked for Estë with her eyes, thinking that she could help her.
Fingolfin in turn approached accompanied by his wife, followed by their children and after a while, a few tender gestures and comforting words, Nyéni poured a silver tear on Fingolfin's foot and she held out her arms causing everyone's amazement. The latter took her in his arms, she squeezed his shoulders and hid her face against his chest and she let him take her away under Uinen's worried eyes.
The child was warmly received, her brothers and sister had accepted her as quickly as Fingolfin and Anairë did. Estë herself visited Fingolfin's house in Tirion to lavish her healing on Nyéni and this had an effect; little by little, Nyéni began to communicate, no words for a long time, but she started making toys, playing with her brothers and sister, giving and asking tender gestures, and sometimes even smiling.
Fingon loved her very quickly, although the confusion weighed on their relations, since she was designated to be the ward of Fingolfin but also his adopted daughter. But no matter their ranks and the ties that united them, they were very close. Nyéni followed Fingon everywhere, even when he secretly went to see his cousin Maedhros.
They very often organised secret meetings between cousins and all except Caranthir joined these meetings, because they all shared strong ties. Celegorm and Curufin were most often with Aredhel, and they hunted together, sometimes even in the company of Oromë. Fingon and Maedhros were always together of course and among them sometimes slightly set back; Amrod, Amras Nyéni and Maglor, playing the harp, singing and dancing happily in the flowery meadows of Valinor.
Chapter IV
Nyéni's childhood was happier in Valinor and she received a lot of love, yet her mind remained darkened by the horror committed in the Falas. She did not tell anyone about it, because she did not feel understood, although many insisted on knowing the truth, starting with Fingolfin and Anairë who questioned her while she was alone outside, weaving a canvas in the image of those made by Vairë in the Halls of Mandos. She seemed to weave a confused scene in the woods, but when she saw her parents approaching, she hid her canvas and lowered her eyes, Fingolfin spoke to her while Anairë sat next to her:
"Nyéni, what are you doing? What is this canvas that you weave here, alone and in silence while the children have gone to have fun near the silver fountains?"
"I had a bad dream, and I don't want to have fun. I wanted to weave my dream and throw it into the sea so that it no longer haunts me. I know Uinen will destroy it as soon as she receives it and maybe then it will never come back.”
Anairë resumed in turn, with tenderness:
“What was that bad dream lissëa?”
"... It was Middle-earth..."
Fingolfin got impatient, thinking that the day had finally come when his daughter was going to confide what happened before her arrival in the Blessed Land:
“Where in Middle-earth? What's going on in this dream?”
But Nyéni closed, tightened and swayed back and forth shaking her head. She could not conceive of offering words to the memory she was asked to share. Anairë feeling her little Nyéni disturbed took her in her arms and kissed her and Fingolfin bent down and hugged his daughter too, kissed her golden hair with silvery reflections:
"Everything is fine, it doesn't matter. Everything is fine, you are safe, forever, I promise you, you will never have to relive the horror of Middle-earth again.”
After consoling her, they resolved to talk about this trauma that Nyéni could not forget. But when their children returned, they found Nyéni disturbed and probably tired. They did not dare to say anything but Aredhel offered a flower that adorned her hair to Nyéni and it made her smile.
They had a family dinner during which the children explained what they had done during the day and when everyone finally went to bed, Nyéni was anxious about sleeping. Rather than going to her room she went to Aredhel's room and the latter made a place for her so she could sleep with her. Argon had seen this, and he called his brothers to come with him and all slept in Aredhel's room that night, and Nyéni had never felt that safe in her entire life, she slept without the shadow of a bad dream on the horizon.
Anairë and Fingolfin took the opportunity to talk about Nyeni's health and happiness. They were convinced that Nyéni needed more than love to recover from her trauma, and they knew in their strong heart that what she had experienced was more difficult than anything they were able to imagine, they who were born in peace in Valinor and had only known light and blessing:
"She can't only have us, she needs someone whose power will soothe her heart." said Fingolfin.
“Are you thinking about Estë? Do you think we should entrust her with Nyéni for a while?"
“No, Estë had a role to play in Nyéni's healing, and she did. I think she needs someone else, someone who will understand her, I just don't know who."
“If she discovers a love for weaving, maybe we should ask Vairë to help her?”
"No! I especially don't want her to approach the Halls of Mandos, she's too sensitive, all these dead people, that will hurt her."
A silence reigned, both wondered what would be good to do and finally, Anairë proposed:
“Why not go see Uinen? She knows Nyéni and she loves her, like us. She will probably be able to tell us who we should turn to, to help her.”
Both agreed, Uinen was necessarily the one who would put them on the right path, but they did not want to arouse the children's suspicions, so Fingolfin left alone and Anairë stayed to take care of the children. And the next day, when they woke up, their father was not there, and their mother seemed to want to avoid the question, claiming that Fingolfin was visiting his father.
Nyéni, although rested, knew that she had something to do with her father's departure but she said nothing. That day, she didn't have time to think, Turgon and Argon had decided to annoy their little sister, so they tickled her, told her jokes, played music very loudly near her and stole her food, a lot of laughter invaded Fingolfin's house that day while he talked with Uinen.
Uinen was touched to see that the Noldorin Prince was really interested and that he really loved Nyéni, she was determined to help him. She had no doubt that Nienna was the only one who could understand Nyéni's pain, and to heal her bruised heart. But she took care of going to meet Nienna herself, asking Fingolfin to stay with his daughter in the meantime.
Nienna received Uinen in honour, always impressed by the courage she had when she chose to bring Nyéni to Valinor without the permission of the King of the Valar. Uinen explained to her the difficulties Nyéni was facing because of the grief and horror that her last days in Middle-earth had caused her and that she couldn't teach her anything more and she was sorry that Nyéni hadn't confided in anyone yet.
Nienna accepted to help without hesitation, because she had sensed that the girl's heart was not like that of the others, that there was something in her that made her closer to the grey kingdom where Nienna, Irmo and Námo are masters.
Chapter V
It was not in Nienna’s habit to go outside her palace, except to go to the Halls of Mandos to comfort the dead, or sometimes to Valimar when her presence was required. However, she went to Tirion, to everyone's surprise, when Telperion beamed and illuminated Valinor and she presented herself to Fingolfin in his home.
The latter was happy and he called Nyéni to join them and soon he left them alone, and Nienna took the child under Telperion even as its sap was being taken, like a sacred rite. Nienna questioned the child, and Nyéni felt the same confidence she had felt younger when she met Uinen, and seeing the tears running down her face, she felt a little less alone. Nienna reassured her first:
"It is not strange to feel grief, not to be always happy, to think about the pain of others. This does not make you someone strange, but someone wiser than others. For, he who advocates lamentations and forgiveness also advocates love and goodness.”
"People say that you never cry for yourself, but only for the pain that the world endures, is that true? And if sometimes I cry for myself, does it make me a bad person? Or someone selfish?”
"Yes, what is said about me is true. No, you are neither a bad person nor a selfish person. You are simply not a Vala, you are a child of the world, one of Ilúvatar’s most beautiful creations. But teach me why you cry about yourself, that I can advise you and bring endurance to your heart.”
"I lost my parents, my blood parents, they died."
"I know that, Uinen had guessed it. Could you tell me the story of that day, the day of their death and everything that came next? Don't worry, you won't feel pain because I will take it from your body and soul for the time of your story.”
"I remember going to the beach, I thought I would see Uinen there and I thought we would play together. But I heard screams behind me, I got up to look in the woods and I heard screams of terror, fights and deaths. I broke my shells by letting them fall to the ground in a panic, and soon I realized that the noises I heard were not those of Orcs, but many wargs. I understood that those of my people had no chance of survival, and when I heard that the guards who protected the bottom of the woods and the beach were fighting, I decided to run south. I ran again and again, until I entered the woods where the wargs followed me with more difficulty. I remember wondering when I was going to die and I often hurt myself by falling. After several days of fierce races, I started running again towards the North, and I found myself in the woods of my people...”
"It doesn't stop there, does it?"
Nyéni looked at Nienna with difficulty, reluctant to talk about her discovery in the woods but she continued:
"I found the rotting corpses of those of my people and my breath was cut off, my wounds began to hurt me and my heart exploded inside my chest, the blood covered the earth, the insects and the birds stripped their corpses of the flesh that remained on their bones.
As I advanced, I saw my father's body broken in two, one of his legs had been devoured, the other remained on the ground detached from his body and his guts hung from his body, his face was turned to the sky, one of his eyes had also been devoured and the other expressed terror and despair and that marked me.
I continued to advance painfully, drawn further into the horror, lost and dazed, I saw my mother’s face.....
Already, I was starting to no longer want to get out of it, but continued to advance painfully, lost and doused. I saw my mother's face, but it was detached from her body and she had the same expression as my father in her eyes. One of her cheeks had been torn off, and her body completely mutilated several meters away. I remember falling face down, finally eager to find death in turn so as not to have to feel this pain one more minute. And I don't know how, I got up and went on the rocks, collapsing there, near the sea."
Nienna herself was not prepared for such a story, her tears, abundant and icy, formed a puddle that spread far, reflecting the light of Telperion that stood there, majestic and magnificent. She did something she had never done, not even for her dear Olórin; she hugged the girl with all her strength and kissed her by stroking her hair for long minutes.
And as she acted in this way, Nyéni felt the comfort penetrate her heart and soul, and she felt that her memories mixed and that the horror she witnessed lock somewhere deep inside her to never take over her again. Finally, what she felt was a little peace, because Nienna took on her part of the child's pain to free her.
After this moment of deliverance, Nienna gave Nyéni some teachings about wisdom, the value of hope, the great virtue that is compassion and the potential that granting forgiveness can have in this world.
The girl did not realise it immediately, but as Nienna taught her things, she became a being of unparalleled wisdom among those of Ilúvatar’s first children. And Fingolfin noticed as soon as his daughter came home that she had changed, that a shadow had disappeared in her mind and that the girl finally seemed to have concerns worthy of those of her age.
Thus, Fingolfin's ward became Nienna's student and she spent her time between her house and the place where she took her lessons with Nienna, most often; under Telperion, because Nienna was reluctant to come when it was Laurelin who illuminated Valinor.
Chapter VI
The tensions between the Noldorin Princes did not dissipate, on the contrary, the more time passed and the more Fëanor and Fingolfin were hard on each other, and Finarfin gradually stopped advising his brothers when he could, especially Fingolfin, because Fëanor had no more esteem for his younger brother than for Fingolfin.
Nyéni understood that the conflict had an origin that could not be changed in any way, because Fëanor's hatred was due to the loss of his mother, the abandonment and the feeling of betrayal that invaded him. She always encouraged her Lord to be more quick to show compassion for his elder brother, who had not benefited from maternal love as he himself enjoyed with Indis. Out of love for Nyéni and because she already has so much of Nienna's aura, he tempered his moods and often accepted his brother's abusive behavior so as not to add to their conflict. But hatred is a tenacious thing.
The children grew up and already Nyéni was no longer so much a little girl and all continued their secret meetings with Fëanor's sons, although the latter forbade them. It happened that very often, Fëanor's servant who was the tutor of his sons came with them, largely hoping to convince them to return quickly, which was rarely the case.
His name was Istandur. Nyéni identified a little with him, although she was the adopted daughter of Fingolfin, she held the role of ward, it was she, who had to watch over Aredhel, accompany his sons in their journey and help her father in his capacity as Lord and Prince of the royal house of the Noldor.
Yet she did not dare to speak to him for a moment, feeling his discontent at the sight of Fëanor's sons disobeying shamelessly to their father. But it turned out that one day, a small meeting took place between Maedhros, Fingon, Amrod, Amras, Maglor, Istandur and Nyéni, and the twins: the last sons of Fëanor found themselves to be very unruly and careless and Istandur struggled to control them.
Then, Nyéni began to sing a painful and yet hopeful lament that could not come from any place in Valinor, because she sang for Endoressë. Amrod and Amras stopped fidgeting and listened to Nyéni sing, Maglor put his head in his arms and thought of these lands in the distance of which he knew little and yet inspired him a lot.
Fingon and Maedhros did not speak for a while so that nothing would grossly hinder her singing and Istandur took his harp and played with her, in order to accompany her singing. Together, they managed to put the twins to sleep, but without realising it, Nyéni awakened in those who were present; the desire to go to Middle-earth.
When the twins were deeply asleep, Istandur complimented Nyéni for her singing and she complimented him for his music while inviting him to sit next to her.
"You are the tutor of the sons of Fëanor, aren't you? I have often seen you accompany them, but you often stay behind. Is there a reason for this?”
"I am at the service of my Lord Fëanor and he has ordered that his sons no longer meet friendly the children of his half brother Fingolfin. Therefore, it costs me a lot to be here, waiting for my Lords to agree to leave to return to their home.”
"Why did Fëanor order this? It's not fair, his children and those of Fingolfin love each other and Maedhros and Fingon are inseparable. What good can he get from depriving his children of something that makes them happy?”
"You speak frankly, Nyéni, but I am not his advisor or one of his relatives, I am his servant and if my master wants me to keep his sons away from those of Fingolfin, I obey him."
She smiled, admiring his loyalty and dedication to the house of Fëanor and understanding that it mattered to him, she made a gesture of kindness towards him, asking herself to end their meeting so that Istandur did not have to force the Princes to return to their home:
"Fingon, I promised father that we would come home early and spend time with mom. It's time now, let's go.”
Istandur had appreciated this gesture more than he could admit and he returned with the princes, returning her smile to Nyéni when he turned to her for the last time before they separated. A great friendship was then born between them, but both knew that it would cost Istandur if Fëanor learned it, and morally, Istandur felt guilty for endorsing the situation, knowing that it was against the will of his Lord.
Aredhel, for her part, was more tolerated by Fëanor as she learned to hunt with Oromë's companies at the same time as Celegorm and Curufin went hunting. As a result, she had a great friendship with them, often going out to test their hunting skills together, but she was very talented and always managed to impress her cousins.
During a hunt, she prepared her bow at the edge of a forest for a deer at more than 800 meters and Celegorm and Curufin laughed at her, not believing that she would reach her target but she was unwavering, precise and confident, listening to Curufin's words:
"You won't make it, but I find it adorable of you to think that you can reach your target more than 800 meters away."
She pulled, a few seconds passed and in the distance, the deer fell stiff to the ground. She smiled sneakily and went on horseback to discover the animal. Celegorm and Curufin exchanged a confused and shameful look before laughing out loud and catching up with their cousin on horseback.
Chapter VII
Fingolfin was curious seeing the changes taking place in Nyéni's behavior but he did not dare to ask her what she had shared with Nienna, so he decided to go visit Nienna in her halls to the West but Fingon seeing his father leaving their home interrupted him:
"Ata, where are you going out riding?"
“I have to go to the West, it's about Nyéni, I'm her father and I feel I have the right to know how she was able to be radically transformed in the contact with Nienna. And as a father I also need to know what happened to Nyéni before her arrival here if I want to protect her properly.”
“I'm coming with you.”
"No, Fingon! What I'm going to hear there, I myself can't imagine all the horror, you my son you can even less."
"Nyéni is my sister and I love her, I am the eldest of your sons, her big brother, it is also my responsibility to protect my family, I am a man from now on, I am able to accept what I will hear."
"My son, a man, it is true that I still see you as the happy little boy you were and who always ran in the arms of Maedhros. Well, then ride with me and get ready to hear a painful and shocking story, because that's what we're riding towards.”
Together, they arrived at the large and dark halls of Nienna and they were greeted by Olórin, her student who had been there for a while, in search of tranquility and wisdom.
"Welcome, Prince Fingolfin, is this young Fingon? You've grown up, you're a man.”
Fingon turned to his father who winked at him and looked up at the sky before announcing:
"Well, Master Olórin, he is indeed my son Fingon, and I know that even for a father's eyes it is a shock to see him become the man he is promised to be. We came here to see Nienna. As a teacher and caretaker for my daughter, I really need to talk to her."
"Oh yes! Nyéni, what a sweet child, the three of us spend exceptional moments. You have educated a very charming young girl.”
"Thank you, even if I think I can't get any credit from it, she has always been of unparalleled sweetness and kindness."
They both got off their horses and followed Olórin inside, the latter stayed with Nienna for the time of their exchanges, which posed no problem for Fingolfin who thought that perhaps his daughter had confided things to Olórin that Nienna had not heard before. He quickly began the discussion by specifying the purpose of his presence:
"Allow me to thank you, my Lady, for the good treatment you give to my daughter. I was right to trust Uinen, you were the person best placed to understand Nyéni and you brought her peace, without changing her deep nature. Yet, I am her father and even if I understand that I must stay away from this for her sake, I also need information to better protect her and because..."
Nienna cut him off:
"And because you are a father, and fathers are protective and want to know everything to establish a protection plan for their children, especially their daughter. You're just a father, Prince Fingolfin.”
"Yes... She is my daughter, that's why I humbly ask you to share with me the information that my daughter was able to communicate to you about her childhood in Middle-earth, especially the end, please."
She looked briefly at Olórin before nodding, then taking a look at Fingon, visibly stressed, she advised his father to keep him away from what she was about to say. But Fingon refused, speaking firmly:
"My father is Nyéni's father, which makes me her big brother. It is also my duty to protect her, and I know that I will protect her better when I know what pain she must have felt.”
Fingolfin nodded that he was not reassured, and Nienna begged Olórin to sit next to Fingon before she began her story. She talked about how Denethor, Nyéni’s uncle by heart, was dead, she talked about their exile in the West, and how Uinen had come to her. They were already very moved by this story, considering the stress and perpetual anxiety she must have felt every day of her life.
But when Nienna, clinging to her couch, began to talk about the attack of the wargs, the flight of defenseless Nyéni, her discovery of the bodies of her parents, mutilated, gutted, dismembered and beheaded, they were short of breath, especially Fingon. Horror had no place in Valinor and in minds that knew only the light, no horror story like this could be born. Fingon cried and fell to his knees lamenting in the arms of Olórin and Fingolfin, worthy and proud, resisted, but his already white skin became even paler, and he said nothing.
When Nienna had finished her story, she was frightened when she noticed the Prince's silence and lack of reaction, she tried to approach him to console him and bring him comforting words but he straightened up, took his son by the hand, and went off on his horse. Fingon tried to talk to his father in vain, he was too shocked, and rage had penetrated his heart, he felt for the first time a desire for revenge, so he began to hate Melkor.
Chapter VIII
After their trip, when they returned, Fingon isolated himself, wishing to rest to regain strength, but Fingolfin went to find Nyéni. She was with Aredhel, she had often become her pet, Aredhel combed her hair and covered her with sumptuous jewelry and luxurious fabrics. Nyéni didn't like it, but she let Aredhel do it, for the simple pleasure of knowing that it made her happy.
Fingolfin sat next to his daughters and smiled, but it was not a smile of joy, and Nyéni had seen it. It was a smile of gratitude and desolation at the same time, Nyéni understood then that her father knew, that he knew everything about her, but she said nothing and left him in his contemplation. He spent the rest of this day with his daughters, just for the pleasure of having them both with him and seeing their happiness together.
A new meeting had been planned between the cousins of the three houses and Istandur had not been warned by Maedhros because the latter knew the pressures that his father put on him and did not want to risk Istandur being treated abusively for them or for not preventing them from leaving.
So all except Caranthir left and all the children of Finarfin and Fingolfin also left and they all found themselves in a meadow where Aredhel, Celegorm and Curufin often hunted. It was a joyful event, Nyéni was lying almost completely on the grass with Aredhel's head on her legs and Galadriel leaning against her while the boys were having loud fun.
Maedhros and Fingon offered a sword show to all the Elves present, Maglor and Finrod played music under the watchful eye of Turgon who sang, Celegorm, Curufin, Aegnor, Angrod and Argon stayed together playing with a ball, while Amrod and Amras were having fun, trying to disturb each of the small groups. It actually worked quite well since they managed to annoy everyone except the group of young girls and Nyéni turned the situation against them by getting up and running to them threatening to tickle them until they cried begging her to stop.
Maedhros made a tackle for Amrod who, pulling his twin by the arm, made him fall into his fall and Nyéni blocked them on the ground, already stronger than the two of them together and tickled them shamelessly until a cry in the distance interrupted the laughter.
Istandur was approaching, seemingly in a hurry and distraught, everyone stopped laughing, Maedhros and Maglor advanced with Fingon and Nyéni not far behind. Istandur begged Fëanor's sons to return because their father was furious with them, and Caranthir had denounced them.
Maedhros was sorry, because he saw that Istandur's face had suffered an injury and he understood that he had been beaten by his father for not being able to prevent the departure of the Fëanorions. As he turned around to go, he called for his brothers to follow him and Nyéni finally saw Istandur's face and saw that he was injured. She rushed towards him and surrounded his face with her hands to see his wound more closely.
"Is it your master who did this to you?"
Istandur did not answer, he looked down and took a step back but Nyéni insisted:
"You don't have to accept this meldonya, he hit you! You didn't even know what his sons were doing and he held you accountable and hit you. Let me at least clean your wound.”
"No, Nyéni. I promised my Lord to bring his sons back to him without pausing, and I will do it."
Nyéni was sad, while Fëanor's sons passed in front of her to leave, she stopped Maedhros to tell him:
"Is this how your father treats his most loyal and devoted servants? Do you find that acceptable?"
He felt a pinch in his heart as he heard her words and looked at her sad face, but he was in a hurry and felt guilty, so he left without saying anything. This ended the party, no one had the heart to rejoice in this meeting and everyone went home. Nyéni did not talk during her whole trip, but at home, she confided in her father late as he was reading:
“Ata, my Lord, may I speak to you?” asked Nyéni to Fingolfin.
"Yes of course Nyéni, come in and sit down."
"Today we went to see the sons of Finarfin and Fëanor, we had planned this meeting for a long time. It was a great moment of happiness for all of us. But Istandur, Fëanor's servant, came in a hurry to implore Fëanor's sons to return with him. He was injured, Fëanor had hit him in the face for not preventing his sons from leaving. At first I was extremely shocked and outraged, but after a while I wondered if it was not the way the Lords treat their servants... I wonder if you would have treated me the same way if I had only been your ward and if you had not adopted me. It is sometimes difficult for me to understand myself in my role as a daughter and ward..."
"It's not normal. The way my brother treated his servant is not the norm, I have never treated anyone like that, nor your uncle Finarfin. I know things seem a little confusing to you, but know one thing; you are my daughter. You are my ward because it was decided that way, but you are my child, let's say that your role as a ward would be little like Aredhel who hunts or Argon who takes himself for a knight."
They both laughed, but she understood. It was a noble task that was incumbent on her, and he was telling the truth by comparing the activities of Aredhel and Argon to hers; they did what they loved, and she did the same by making herself useful for Fingolfin's house, as an advisor and protector…
Chapter IX
She remained worried about her friend Istandur, and she wrote him a letter to which he would never answer. Thus Nyéni was very sad, but she met Istandur again with the twins by chance near Telperion during its hours of radiation. She went to find them but not before helping to collect the silver sap of the tree, her hair and eyes reflected the light of the tree and she was beautiful to see, like a silver jewel that only acquires more beauty by standing towards the blessed tree.
Her gestures were full of softness and delicacy, and it was a magnificent spectacle to see for all those who were present, because she had not only acquired Nienna's character traits, she had also acquired her gesture and pure beauty without common measure. There, the twins rested on the tender grass and Istandur remained fascinated by the show, sitting with his arms crossed near his young Princes, he continued to observe how Nyéni mixed with the beauty of the tree.
Maedhros arrived behind him, he had been sent by his father to bring the Princes back to their home where Fëanor was waiting for them and in the distance he was stunned by the show. He did not immediately notice the presence of his brothers or Istandur, his eyes had landed on Nyéni below Telperion and for the first time, he did not see in her the sister of Fingon, the ward of Fingolfin or the student of Nienna… For the very first time, Nyéni's existence took on a completely different meaning for him, for the very first time, with his amazed eyes, he considered her as the one he loved.
He had irrevocably fallen in love with her and remembered the distant day when he felt a pinch in his heart when he left their meeting quickly at Fëanor's request, pressed by the events, he did not give himself the chance to consider the feeling he had just felt. Maedhros was in love with Nyéni, and although she said nothing or hardly showed it, she only had eyes for him.
However, this would be a problem, she was not an Elf born in Valinor and was attached to the Fingolfin clan, which Fëanor would never accept, and the feelings of his son, if he were to discover them, would only increase his hatred for the young Nyéni, which he would never accept to be with his firstborn and heir.
Maedhros did not move forward, not wanting to leave and he forgot his father's order, he sat far away, out of sight and remained there until Istandur decided to wake up the children with Nyéni, who kissed them because she loved the Ambarussa and she was always very protective of them. She cuddled their foreheads, blessing their return trip and she said goodbye to Istandur before leaving in turn. Maedhros wanted to catch up with Istandur and the children, but his heart got the better of him and he followed Nyéni until he caught up with her.
"Nyéni! Why do you enter this twilight alone?"
“Maedhros, what are you doing here? I didn't see you with Istandur and the Ambarussa.”
"No... I came after, my father asked me to bring them home but then I saw you leave alone and I preferred to accompany you back to your home before catching up with Istandur."
"It's a charming attention, I thank you, but the shadow of the night and the soft and cold light of Telperion hardly scare me."
"I insist."
He held out his arm to her, a gallant gesture that he had never had towards her and she considered the situation, wondering what it meant for him. She could not believe that a Prince of his rank and a man of age to be married and who, moreover, has many suitors, could be interested in her.
So she accepted his arm as a gesture of friendship and thanked him, thus, they returned to Fingolfin's home and Nyéni asked him, curious to know about the days of Fëanor's sons when they did not flee in search of their cousins. Maedhros talked about their sword training, their instructions, their activities including forging, hunting, music...
Nyéni was fascinated, and she noticed that his father was a man who cherished his family, his children, his wife... She understood that he was simply trying to be better than his father had been able to be, that he was still deep down a wounded child, the only one in the world to have a father who married twice, and who had other children. She felt sorry for him, and although this understanding did not entirely make him a good man, it gave her good arguments to calm her Lord and Father Fingolfin in his moments of anger.
Soon, they arrived in front of Fingolfin's house, all was quiet, as if everyone had gone into a deep sleep, yet at the window of his room Fingon was awake, he delicately polished a gem that he wanted to use as an ornament to make a jewel that would go to his mother.
When he looked outside, he saw Nyéni holding on to Maedhros' arm and when they both stopped walking, Maedhros faced her and took her hands before lowering himself deeply to kiss her left hand adorned with a blue and silver ring with the emblem of her house. Nyéni was surprised and filled with happiness but did not show it, she thanked Maedhros and kissed his cheek, before letting go of her hands and went home.
Fingon was torn between many feelings, misunderstanding in the first place, surprise, amazement, maybe a little anger... After all, she was not of the same blood and did nothing wrong with Maedhros, but she was his little sister and he was very protective of her! So he was tempted to hold his role as big brother but it was difficult with Maedhros, he was older than him, and his best friend. He jumped from his couch letting go of the gem to run to Nyéni and question her, but he turned back at the door of his room and whispering to himself:
"No idiot, leave her alone, she didn't do anything."
He went to bed but did not sleep, looking at the ceiling and wondering if he should talk to his father about it. But he loved Maedhros and Nyéni and considered that he was definitely not the worst party for her, although he was older than her and Fëanor was not going to make things easy.
The next morning, he was very grumpy at the family lunch, and Fingolfin understood that something was wrong but he didn't pay attention to it, after all, we can all have difficult awakenings from time to time, even the Elves.
But when Anairë questioned Nyéni about her night outing with the Telperion tree, she answered so honestly that Fingon was dismayed. She confessed to having met Istandur and the twins and then to come home accompanied by Maedhros. He thought to himself that if she was telling the truth so easily, then maybe he had imagined everything and that there was no complicity between them, or at least, no love complicity.
Chapter X
A feast had been decreed in Valimar by the King of the Valar himself because the latter liked to see the Elves gather and found that the three peoples did not meet on their own or with difficulty. So he invited the Vanyar, the Teleri and the Noldor to gather in Valimar and the city had been prepared by the Valar to welcome all the Elves for several days. This kind of opportunity was always joyful, and the three peoples came in large numbers and with gifts for each of the other peoples.
Thus, often the Noldor came with forged objects and jewels of great beauty, because they were skilled in the manual arts that Aulë had taught them. The Teleri came with shells that they arranged in great beauty and that were only found on their beaches and the Vanyar came with beautiful scrolls decorated with gold and silver on which they wrote unique songs and poems to move everyone, even the King of the Valar, Manwë himself.
Fingolfin had entrusted a heavy task to all his children, because he was proud and wanted the gifts that would be given to the other Elven peoples to be made from the hands of his children and he gave free rein to their imagination but asked them to make valuable and beautiful objects for the Teleri and the Vanyar.
None of them complained about it, they spent whole days together at the forge, they exchanged skills with each other, and always took the opportunity to discuss and consolidate their fraternal ties. They formed groups, Nyéni worked with Argon, and Turgon with Aredhel, Fingon was alone to work and he helped both groups when needed, it was his role as the elder to control the work of the youngest.
Turgon and Aredhel forged necklaces and bracelets of great beauty, silver and blue, in the colors of their home. Nyéni and Argon forged tiaras, signet rings and corsets in the same colors as the others, Nyéni inlaid the gems herself that she cut almost all in the shape of tears. Fingon forged daggers and hunting spears and like his brothers and sisters, he decorated them in the colors of his house.
It took several weeks, but the work was worth it. Every day Anairë brought lunch to her children at the forge and she had lunch with them and listened to their stories, contemplated their work and when she came home, she explained everything to Fingolfin who was happy. And when in the evening the children, now young adults, came home, dirty and tired, all took a bath and shared their dinner with their parents.
When they had finished their crafts, Fingolfin observed their work, thanked them and expressed his pride in their certain talents in the field of jewelry and forging. He wanted to present their work to his father, King Finwë and consequently, he took a model of each creation as well as a small number of servants from his house and Fingon and Nyéni.
He did not expect to come face to face with his older brother, Fëanor, who was already present with their father. Nyéni felt that her presence already irritated Fëanor and she wanted to stay behind, but when Fingolfin advanced before the King, he did so by highlighting his children, not to provoke his brother, but out of pride because they had created the gifts that were going to be offered by his house.
"Father, I came to present to you the work done by my children for the gifts to the Teleri and the Vanyar concerning my house. If you wish, my servants will put them on a table so that you can contemplate them at your leisure, my King."
Finwë wanted to pay tribute to the children by thanking them, but Fëanor could not contain himself any longer:
"Don't you feel that the King is already busy with his elder? That you just interrupted us?"
"My brother, I did not interrupt anything, father greeted me and I told him about the purpose of my presence. If you want to contemplate the work of my children with us, please join us.”
Finwë always wanted his children to reconcile, but if he had to choose he chose his firstborn, because he had caused him great harm in his childhood, and resented himself a lot. But feeling that Fingolfin was not aggressive and was looking for a compromise, he tried to support him and push Fëanor to more sympathy:
"Yes, I would like to contemplate the work of my grandchildren with my sons. Let's go and admire these jewels."
He went to the table with his sons, and Fingon remained behind with Nyéni and loudly, Maedhros and Maglor joined them and finally remained silent, surprised to see Fingolfin and Fëanor together without arguing. Fingon looked at Nyéni when Maedhros approached, and he noticed that she was blushing slightly but nothing more.
Maedhros stood next to her and also seeing that she was blushing, he smiled and Maglor paid no attention to it, too happy to have "authorisation" to be with Fingolfin's children without his father holding him. Fëanor said nothing, but he was impressed by his brother's children's work, and he was really jealous when Finwë turned around, very proud and complimented Fingon and Nyéni, hugging them and recognising their great value at the forge. But it was too much for Fëanor, seeing his father reward Nyéni and thank her while treating her like a real Noldo, he screamed:
“We will not spend the day here rewarding the making of uninteresting jewels! They have not done anything exceptional, and that, the Teleri and the Vanyar will also see, and we will be embarrassed by their work!”
Finwë moved away from the children in a hurry, understanding that he had caused his eldest son's anger. Fingolfin was upset and took the strong position of protecting his children, so that they themselves would not be injured. He ordered all the children to go outside so that he could settle accounts with his brother and all four obeyed and went out while the screams raged. Before reaching the door, they heard Fëanor:
"You had your gifts made by a Nando, by a vulgar foreigner without any value, she is not even of noble blood. She is a shame for those of our blood, a shame for the Noldor and a shame for the whole of Valinor! And you let her show herself in public, make your gifts and you will even invite her to the party? She is a shame for our family, for royalty!”
Nyéni stopped walking and turned around but Maedhros and Fingon pushed her out and she did not hear more. All she could see was Istandur's face, not far from Fëanor who had arrived hearing the screams in the throne room. Once outside, she could not bring herself to meet the eyes of Fingon or Fëanor's sons, she felt ashamed and was deeply hurt.
When Fingon tried a gesture of comfort to break the silence, she left running and crying, Maedhros wanted to follow her but Maglor held him back. Nyéni returned to her father's house alone, still crying. Anairë was surprised by her return, she was working with Aredhel for the party but when she saw that Nyéni was crying, she wanted to follow her but the latter locked herself in her room and did not want to talk to anyone.
Anairë knew nothing until her husband returned with Fingon, angry and disappointed, and he had great difficulty not to start screaming again by explaining to his wife what had happened. Fingon was asked to go to bed, because his father was going to show wickedness and insult his brother and this was not the example he wanted to give to his son. Fingon tried to go see Nyéni but she didn't open her door, so he went to bed.
Chapter XI
The next day, Nyéni did not leave her room either, although everyone tried to get her out, she did not eat or participate in the organizing of the party. Anairë had several dresses prepared for Nyéni, refusing to go to the party without all her children.
But something was broken in Nyéni, she felt too ashamed, foreign and she did not consider herself welcome. The next day, she left her room, but did not leave the house, and did not get dressed to go out, she refused to go outside with the others, and always refused the fittings. Fingolfin questioned her:
"Don't you want to try on the dresses your mother had made? I find them very beautiful, but I would like you to try them and choose the one you like the most to go to the party."
“I will not go to the party.”
“I don't remember leaving the choice to any of my children.”
"But I'm not your daughter, I'm your ward, and even that, I shouldn't be."
"I know you heard what Fëanor said, Fingon told me you were hurt, and I understand it, I'm sorry. But you must not listen to him, no one thinks like him, not even the King. You are my daughter, I raised you, I love you and I am proud that you are my daughter."
“I don't want to go to the party, I know we're going to be at the table with Fëanor and Finarfin.”
"You will come, because I don't give you the choice but I promise you that I will do everything I can to keep you away from Fëanor."
"If that's what you command me, then I'll obey."
"Nyéni... it's not..."
"So I have to go try on the dresses, please excuse me."
She left and Fingolfin was sad but it was a delicate situation and at the idea that his brother had hurt his daughter, knowing everything she had to go through before arriving here, he wanted to beat him with his bare hands and that day, he remained in a dark mood.
Anairë and Aredhel were with Nyéni for the choice of the dress and jewelry, she had chosen a silver dress with little jewelry, she did not want any, but her sister insisted and she agreed to wear a hand bracelet with blue and silver stones. So, the next day, everyone set off and Fingolfin's clan came last among those of the Noldor.
The party took place in the evening, so they all still had to show up, but the cousins wanted to meet again and Fingolfin was happy to see his little brother Finarfin and his older sister Findis. Maedhros hugged Fingon but looking behind his shoulder he saw that Nyéni had dismounted her horse and went straight inside, he understood that she was still hurt by his father's words, and although he couldn't do anything about it, he felt guilty.
Maehdros was nervous about seeing Nyéni at the first feast of the party, while preparing with his brothers, he remained anxious as time passed. Nyéni was not stressed, she was sad and wanted time to pass quickly so that she could go home, despite everything she prepared herself with her sister and mother.
When everyone was ready, Aredhel, Nyéni and their mother introduced themselves to the men of their house, and they were amazed by their beauty. Aredhel had chosen a white dress and a silver and blue tiara and her hairstyle was elegant.
Anairë was dressed in blue, like her husband, and she portrayed pearly white jewelry, in accordance with the pearly pearls in her braided hair. Nyéni held her hands, embarrassed, yet she had nothing to envy to the beauty of the other young women of the party. Dressed in her silver dress, her braided hair gathered to form a rose and her blue and silver hand bracelet.
On her own, she walked behind and arrived in the large feast room, where the servants of the Valar invited the Elven royal houses to settle in the center of the room and the servants and others of their people were around them.
Fëanor had deliberately removed the plates and cutlery from the portion of the table that was reserved for his brother Fingolfin for the simple purpose of challenging him and making Nyéni uncomfortable. Fingolfin wanted to get angry but he couldn't, he quietly asked for the places to be re-set and a silence came down heavy among the Noldor. Nyéni had tears in her eyes:
"My place is not at this table, Lord, I am going to join that of the servants."
Fingon refused and Maedhros got up to prevent Nyéni from leaving and Fëanor was dissatisfied. A silver tear fell on her cheek and Maedhros would have cried too, but Nyéni showed firmness and left. She found a seat next to Istandur who was embarrassed because Nyéni was more than a ward for Fingolfin's house and all the servants knew that.
Also, she was the only one among them to be dressed in a princely way and this sowed confusion. All the servants thought that she was therefore considered of their rank and some came to court her, hoping to be able to ask for the hand of the one who remained Fingolfin's daughter.
Istandur was very uncomfortable and he felt sorry for Nyéni for whom the party was already painful and was even more so every time someone came to court her. Of course, from afar, Fingon and Maedhros who observed her were also angry, Fingon for obvious reasons, he was her brother and her protector.
Maedhros, for a reason that was not yet obvious to everyone but Fingon, said nothing because he was in front of Fëanor’s surveillance. At the end of the meal, the tables were reorganized for dancing, and all the high-ranking Elves went to dance in duos. Nyéni looked at them with difficulty, before finally getting up to leave the place and get some air outside out of sight.
Maedhros had noticed her leave and he wanted to join her, but he was first stopped by his father who firmly grabbed his son to ask him what he intended to do. Maedhros refused to answer his father, against whom he was angry, and carried on his way. He found Nyéni alone and sad outside and went to join her:
"You didn't eat anything, I saw it." said Maedhros.
“I wasn't hungry.” answered Nyéni.
"No doubt my father and his behavior have cut your appetite. I'm sorry for this, and really not very proud.”
"Don't be, he's not wrong."
"Of course he's wrong, I was there when you arrived in Valinor! Manwë asked who would take you for daughter and ward, and Fingolfin advanced into the room and proclaimed that you would be his daughter."
“And yet, I am of foreign blood.”
“Blood doesn't matter.”
"You should go inside, before Fingon steals all your suitors."
"I gladly leave them to him. We can hear the music here well, and not long ago you told me that you liked the silver light and did not fear the twilight. Dance with me Nyéni.”
He held out his hand and smiled at her, leaving her no choice but to accept. So she offered him her hand, got up and danced with him outside for a long time, in fact, they danced until the party was over and separated to go to sleep.
Chapter XII
The next day, everyone moved to Ezellohar, where the trees stood high and proud. A day of outdoor games had been planned while Laurelin was shining and finally a dinner was planned under a large tent not far away for the time when Telperion would shine.
The children of the Noldor Princes remained together, because Fëanor would have had a hard time preventing them on such an occasion, but the latter kept his eyes on them despite Nerdanel's attempts to distract him. Attacking Nyéni had become a way to challenge his brother for him and he was waiting for her to do something that would give him a reason to intervene but Nyéni stayed away from the Fëanorions so as not to provoke Fëanor.
The day continued like this, Nyéni stayed with Galadriel and her brothers, while Fingolfin's other children stayed with those of Fëanor and the Ambarussa were unhappy because they loved Nyéni tenderly and as much as she loved them. Nevertheless, she found a moment to hide behind the trees with them, while Finwë's sons were busy and she sang them a lullaby to put them to sleep, noting that Istandur had great difficulty containing the very playful young Princes.
But when she sang for them, they slowly started to fall asleep in her arms and she caressed their cheeks until they plunged into a deep sleep filled with dreams, then she left them in the care of Istandur who had listened to her and who himself worried about falling asleep because Nyéni's singing was so powerful.
Fingon took advantage of Nyéni's absence by their side to ask Maedhros why he had accompanied Nyéni home a while ago and why he had worried so much about her at the feast of the day before. Maedhros first tried to lie:
“But I didn't worry! And I only brought her back for her protection, because you weren't there!”
Fingon stared at him insistently to make him understand that he was still waiting for the truth and Maedhros sighed looking at Nyéni in the distance. At that moment, she was singing for the twins and caressing their cheeks while they were in her arms.
"I imagine that hiding such a thing from my best friend about his own sister was a vain thing from the start. I promise you Fingon that I didn't look for anything for that matter, it's not something I chose, I'm in love with your sister, your father's ward. Believe me, there's nothing fun about that, I would have preferred to love someone my father doesn't hate, that he would let me love. And it was really very painful to see those men turning around her last night."
Fingon was saddened, understanding that it was sincere love and that Maedhros had no intention of doing anything.
"I'm sorry you can't love her freely, but maybe you could reason with your father. Do you know if Nyéni shares your feelings?”
"I don't know, I think so, but I feel like she doesn't see that I love her and that I want to be by her side at all times."
“Why not tell her?”
"And why would I do that? It's impossible anyway, even if we wanted to be together, my father would oppose it."
"That he opposes it! Maedhros! Your father should not command your heart!”
"My father commands everyone's heart, he is my father, he is not in the habit of being told ‘no’ or not to get what he wants."
Fingon eventually saddened by the fate of Maedhros and understood that it would be difficult for him to oppose his father to obtain permission to love Nyéni. Both continued to watch Nyéni coax the twins and Maedhros admired the way she protected the people she loved, to surround them with all her love.
He looked at her with the twins and considered the maternal instinct she already had at her young age and her ability as a wolf mother to frown when someone she loved was in trouble. The day ended and at the feast Fingolfin made sure that she was not treated like she had been the day before, and she had a seat between Fingon and Argon and Argon made sure that Fëanor met his wicked and angry gaze, a sign of his discontent.
Fëanor had been reprimanded by his father, who had begged him not to embarrass him anymore as he had done the day before because he had brought shame on all the Noldor, so the latter tried as hard as he could to show sympathy towards his brothers and tolerated Nyéni at his table.
A new night dance took place, and Maedhros, encouraged by Fingon's words, declined the requests he received for the first dance and asked Nyéni to dance with him. She was embarrassed and lowered her head looking at Fëanor to the side, he was not satisfied but kept his calm and Nyéni agreed to dance with Maedhros. She showed a lot of grace by dancing and the two were having a very lovely moment. Fingolfin innocently rejoiced in this moment, but after a while, noticing some tender gestures of Maedhros and the way he looked at her, he began to understand and turned abruptly to his wife who looked at him laughing, having understood for a long time and said to him:
"Calm down dad, she will always be your little girl."
And she got up laughing to dance with her husband, who never danced as badly as on this day because he was too stunned by what he had just realized. He glanced at his eldest son, already aware, and the latter nodded, confirming to his father that Maedhros and Nyéni had entered a complicated romance.
The next day was calmer, and long goodbyes took place between the three Elven peoples before each returned to his homes, and the Valar were satisfied, it was a great moment of happiness. They also received gifts: Nienna, Uinen and Estë received gifts that Nyéni had made for them and they were delighted.
Finally Nyéni came to find Olórin and she offered him a stone that she had cut to hold on his neck and fall on his collarbones. It was a very beautiful gray jewel that reflected all the lights nearby and Olórin was touched. He kissed the girl on the forehead and turning further, she noticed that the latter proudly showed his jewel to Nienna. At home, the tensions had finally been dissipated, Fingolfin yet was still angry with his brother:
"I can't believe what he did, it goes beyond all the deeds of wickedness he committed during his life. He is unworthy of his position!”
"My Lord, Ata, your brother's heart has been fogged by the pains he suffered and that you are not able to understand. Can you only imagine? When he came into the world, his mother chose the kingdom of the dead rather than him, thus, he was abandoned by the one who was supposed to love him the most in this world. And your father, the King, could not accept his loss and chose to marry another woman. He, King of the Noldor, had the Valar change the law of the Eldar to remarry. He is the only one who did not respect the principle of loving only one woman.
Fëanor watched his father have other children, putting him aside even if it was not his intention, feeling abandoned and rejected. You can't understand this pain, because no one else but him has experienced this. If his words and actions are sometimes harsh, maybe it's because the world has applied itself to making his life more difficult than anyone else's?”
"You are very wise, my daughter. I had never seen things that way, I had always taken my mother's side, seeing how much he hated her. Thank you, I understand better now and I will try to show myself better in the future.”
She kissed her father and went to bed, leaving him to his reflections. But the times of peace were not going to last much longer, because Melkor had been locked up for three ages and the time of his presentation to the Valar had sounded and it was time for him to repent of his actions.
Chapter XIII
The Elves were invited to observe, when Melkor arrived, he looked at them and was angry and jealous that they could enjoy the land of the Valar without paying the price. But he said nothing. When Manwë had spoken, he feigned repentance, and lied to the assembly.
Nyéni was there, with her family and she laid her eyes on him. He who had taken her so much, and caused her so much pain. Fingolfin did not believe in Melkor's repentance, and was very angry to see him there, in front of him. He remembered who was the cause of the terrible pain Nyéni had suffered.
Manwë asked those who were present to speak, and many refused to believe what Melkor said, but Nienna advanced to the heart of the assembly and pleaded for forgiveness for Melkor and the hearts of those who were present were troubled because compassion invaded them and Nyéni advanced among the crowd and took the hand of Nienna who stood before Melkor before kneeling, saying:
"O King of the Valar, O Valar and Valier present here, I stand behind Nienna and her request for Melkor's forgiveness. As you know, here in Valinor, no one else but me has suffered as much as I have suffered because of Melkor. My people have been reduced to nothing and I have seen with my eyes the atrocious death of my biological parents and what he has wrought on the lands in the East where it is dark. But what would the world be if we didn't show compassion? He presents himself here to repent of his sins, how can we refuse him the benefit of doubt? Maybe he is not sincere, maybe he will try to harm the world again, but if he is in your custody, O Valar, then maybe this time he can be condemned before his misdeeds?"
Nienna was proud of her student, and so was Olórin. The room was plunged into doubt and their words had been convincing, many began to think that refusing him forgiveness would be a mistake and that he must have at least a chance to repent. Tulkas was not part of this because he ardently wanted to send Melkor back to Mandos without delay, and Fëanor noting that Elves and Valar had reconsidered Melkor's legitimacy to be forgiven, went into a rage:
"And you would trust this girl? And a Valier who would forgive the worst? It's crazy, the words of this child will lead us straight to death! She has no legitimacy to speak here, and if you listen to her then it will be proof of your weakness."
Many were outraged by his words and Melkor hated him since then. He contemplated the Silmarils that Fëanor wore, and coveted them deeply and became jealous of their wearer. Already in silence, he plotted against the inhabitants of Valinor. But Manwë spoke and announced that Melkor would be released on condition that he always remained where the Valar could observe and monitor him and he could not have a home, nor Maiar with him.
Thus Melkor's anger had grown even more and Fëanor hated Nyéni even more for speaking in favour of Melkor and when she got up and turned to go out, Melkor looked into her eyes and memorised her face. Not that he would have wanted to use her for purposes that would be useful to him, or even that he appreciated her, but he inwardly mocked the one who would be held responsible for all his evil deeds to come.
Fingolfin followed his daughter with the rest of his family and they went home. Fëanor, mad with rage and upset that his word did not bear fruit, he who usually was such a good speaker, suddenly left the room with his family and returned home also. Melkor got up and was stopped by Tulkas and Aulë:
"You may be freed from Mandos but you are not free. You will come to work every day in my forge so that I can keep an eye on you." said Aulë.
He tensed up but accepted the sentence, seeing some potential benefits for him.
So, Melkor went to the forge every day without protesting and there he met again Mairon and Curunir, and he saw a shadow in their heart that he could exploit. Every day he applied himself to implanting lies in their minds, as well as the desire for domination and power. Mairon was very receptive to his words and did not even hide it. Aulë noticed it and was troubled, although he did not know the subject of their discussions. He began to confide in his wife Yavanna:
"Mairon has always been a little lonely, apart, darker and fiercer but he is a good being. Now, I see Melkor influencing him and he closes himself even more to the rest of the world. Should I intervene? Should I ask Mairon to go with another Vala, or should I ask Tulkas to take Melkor with him?"
“You can't do that, my husband. Separating you from Mairon will give rise to a hatred in him that will bring him closer to Melkor, and sending Melkor to Tulkas is to risk an incident of great magnitude. Just be there, at the forge with them, and listen to them if you can. Watch them.”
But he never had the opportunity to overhear their conversations, he simply watched without saying anything. And Melkor often saw Fëanor at the forge, and many of the Noldor, and he misted their minds with lies and although Fëanor resisted it, and was fierce towards Melkor, he heard his words and could not resist them, especially when the latter told him that his brother Fingolfin wanted to take his place with his father and in the royal line. Or even, that the Valar wanted the Elves to serve them, preventing them from being Lords in the East of the Earth. And these lies were going to have consequences.
Chapter XIV
A visit from Fingolfin to his father took place several decades later and he had come with his children and his wife. But Fëanor had heard of this visit and he was preparing his war helmet, armor and sword. He accused his brother of wanting to steal his father, and of wanting to replace him in the royal line.
Fingolfin, showing wisdom, ignored his brother's affront and moved towards his father humbly. Fëanor, angry, pointed his sword at Fingolfin and confronted him with harsh and difficult words to hear. Fingolfin's children advanced towards their father, close to fighting, and Fëanor's sons did the same, not to attack their cousins (except Caranthir) but to protect their father in case of need.
And while no one expected this from her, nor thought she was capable of this, Nyéni grabbed a sword from the opposite clan by putting down one of Fëanor's guards and stood between the two brothers, threatening Fëanor with her sword in turn:
"If you want to kill my father, then without mercy, I would pierce you."
Maedhros looked at Fingon, understanding all the seriousness of the situation but did not dare to say anything, frozen by what was happening before his eyes. But Istandur grabbed his sword and stood next to his Lord, pointing the tip of his blade at Nyéni's heart:
“I will leave you no chance to reach my Lord, Nyéni.”
She looked at him angrily and although her father tried to grab her by the shoulders to calm her down, she nevertheless stood her ground with the sword fixed on Fëanor. Argon as a good big brother stood between Nyéni and Istandur and finally, Maedhros and Fingon separated Nyéni and Fëanor by pushing back their swords.
But this incident was going to cost the Noldor, because Manwë after Fëanor had spoken harshly in front of them, reporting Melkor's lies and confessing to have threatened his brother, was exiled and he went to Formenos and his father made the choice to follow him, so Fingolfin ruled over the Noldor in Tirion and Melkor laughed, because it played in his favor with Fëanor being now isolated. He tried to visit him in his new home, but Fëanor never let him in.
Fingolfin questioned his daughter, asking where she had learned to fight and handle a sword, and the latter did not lie to him. She told him that Argon had taught her the art of sword fighting and Fingon had taught her how to defend herself when she is unarmed.
Fingolfin was amazed, knowing the gentle and wise nature of Nyéni, he had not considered the possibility that she could also have a part of violence in her and he realised that day, that his daughter was indeed his ward and that she was ready to put herself in danger to serve his house and the honor of the blue clan; the Fingolfinian.
Again, time passed and tensions were high in Valinor because of the conflict between the Noldor and because of Morgoth who more or less openly provoked the rest of the Valar. He was angry nevertheless, because Fëanor hid in the North and with him his Silmarils whose sight he refused to anyone, even the Valar. Soon, he jumped at the opportunity to escape and returned to Middle-earth for a while.
A party was organized in Valinor that was to be joyful and perhaps even conciliatory, the Valar themselves invited the Elves and when the invitation came to the children of Fëanor and Fingolfin, they were together in one of their secret meetings. Istandur himself came to warn Fëanor's sons, and it was Aredhel who brought the news for Fingolfin's children, because she had not left with them from the beginning.
It was then the first time that Istandur saw Nyéni again after their altercation about their respective Lords and he was embarrassed and did not know if his friend was still angry with him. But he was obliged to come to her, because she was with the Ambarussa and he had to give them a lesson at the request of Fëanor, their father. So he introduced himself to her when she had just finished a song for the twins and said:
"Nyéni, do you blame me for my behavior?"
"I don't blame you Istandur, you did your duty and I did mine. Please, sit with us.”
"I must teach the Ambarussa their lesson, my Lord thinks I am in his gardens with them, he did not ask me where they were and I did not see fit to tell him without him asking me. Nevertheless, I hope to be able to bring all my Princes back to their home before he notices it."
The twins, too happy in the fields of Yavanna refused to follow Istandur and began to complain:
"No, we won't follow you this time, we're too happy here! You just have to stay and we promise you that we won't leave too late!”
Istandur, encouraged by Nyéni's smile, remained there with them for a while and everyone had fun, sang, danced and played music. But Fëanor who was going to his gardens saw neither Istandur nor the twins and went into rage. He rode his horse, knowing exactly where they were and left at high speed without ever deviating.
When he arrived, and before the children noticed his presence, he saw that his sons were close to Nyéni and that Istandur was playing the harp for the Ambarussa. Istandur, full of shame when he saw his Lord got up and lowered his head, everyone got up after him, aware of having enraged Fëanor. Fëanor questioned Istandur and the latter wanted to tell the truth as always and Nyéni saw that Fëanor was again going to hit Istandur, she could not accept that:
"Istandur came to pick up the Ambarussa for their lesson, he had looked for them for a long time in your home, and understood that they had left. Seeing us here, he wanted all your sons to follow him, in order to enforce your decree about us, we Fingolfinian. No one could resolve the situation, but the Ambarussa promised Istandur to leave if he played them some harp."
He looked at her with disgust, anger and doubt, thinking that she might be telling the truth, but seeing Maedhros near her, anger took him. He ordered all his sons and Istandur to come back, and Istandur could only wave his hand to Nyéni behind his back when he left so that she knew that he was grateful to her for trying to help her. The Fingolfinians returned home with a bitter taste in their mouths but did not complain.
Chapter XV
The preparations for the feast were made slowly and as usual the ladies prepared their sumptuous outfits, Nyéni made her own dress, of blue and silver and she embedded sumptuous stones into it. With her Aredhel also made her dress, satin white and because she wanted to look like her mother, she sewed into her dress the same stones that her mother had embedded in hers.
Fingolfin's clan arrived after Fëanor's clan at the party and they found that Fëanor had not brought the Silmarils with him, nor his father the King, which offended and disappointed the Valar. He had come in majesty and very proud with his seven sons and he was not in a happy mood, only his sons mixed with the others and Nerdanel was forced to stay with her husband, greeting passers-by, without talking to them.
When the Fingolfinians arrived at the party, it was a wonder for everyone, or almost everyone. Celegorm and Curufin went to greet Argon and Aredhel and they complimented their cousin Aredhel for her unique and beautiful outfit.
Maedhros looked at Nyéni and wondered if he had never seen such beauty and this even in all the majestic jewels that his father had been able to make, and even the Silmarils no longer seemed so magnificent to him at the sight of Nyéni in her beautiful silver and blue dress.
However, aware that his father was watching him, he ignored Nyéni and passed by her without saying anything, and found Fingon behind her. Nyéni lowered her head, her eyes were cluttered with tears but she moved forward and raised her head smiling, she had seen the Ambarussa and they didn't care about their father and his opinions.
They loved Nyéni tenderly and she loved them, it was like a maternal bond that she couldn’t explain, there was no doubt that a great love existed between the three of them. She wanted to join them seeing that they were extending their arms to her to embrace her but as she advanced towards them, she was violently stopped by Fëanor who grabbed her arm to stop her sharply:
"Don't you dare approach my sons today and in my presence. Your sumptuous couture, your beautiful hairstyle and the jewels you wear do not detract from the fact that you are of low extraction. You will never be a princess, never a Lady, you are just one more slave of the Valar. So go annoy my brothers' children and don't get any closer to mine, otherwise I will cut you." said Fëanor.
She looked at him with fear and pain, realizing that for the first time, his words no longer stopped at wickedness, but now reached the level of threat. The grief took possession of her and as he let go of her arm, she turned around and crossed the place lowering her head, but her tears were palpable and the silver reflections they contained shone on the ground.
Fingolfin tried to stop his daughter to keep her close to him but he couldn't, she left and went to sit near a tree, alone, and did not participate in the beautiful party. Maedhros felt rage towards his father and although he was required to participate in the party until the end, he left and went to join Nyéni:
"You went really far, if I hadn't heard the music of your lamentations I probably wouldn't have found you."
“I would like to be alone, my Prince.”
Sitting next to her, he replied: "You will be alone later, another day. Today I will stay with you.”
She looked at him with a slight smile before he questioned her:
“What did my father say to you?”
"He said that I was not noble, that I came from a low extraction and that I was not worthy of being part of a royal house, nor of my expensive outfit, my beautiful hairstyle and my jewelry. He said I shouldn't approach his sons anymore, he said he would cut me if I disobey him. That's why I'd like you to leave.”
"No, you don't want me to leave, and my father won't do such a thing. If he tried, he would have to confront me, Fingon and my uncle Fingolfin."
“You my Prince? What do you mean?”
“Don't you know?”
"My Prince?" She added, dismayed and lost.
"I love you, I fell in love with you a long time ago, and I think you share my feelings."
She couldn't believe it. Her breath was cut off, her tears disappeared and Maedhros laughed when he saw her surprised face. He turned around and took her hand in his, caressing the underside of her eyes to wipe her last tears. He put his nose on hers delicately, they exchanged a look and he kissed her tenderly. After this kiss, taken by doubt and fear that Fëanor would attack Maedhros if he learned it, she spoke to him:
"But if your father came to find out, you would have problems, I don't want to talk to you..."
He interrupted her and kissed her again:
"My father does not command my heart, he cannot choose who I have the right to love or not. He'll have to get it or lose me.”
Chapter XVI
They both spent the day under this magnificent tree that hid them from the powerful rays of Laurelin and they laughed and talked a lot, without worrying about the time that passed. Thus came an abomination that would redefine the destiny of the world.
For while the party was taking place, Melkor had returned to Aman and with him had come Ungoliant, baited by the promises of jewels that Melkor had made to her. She hid them in her web during their journey and they went to the Blessed Trees. There, Melkor powerfully cut the trees and she sucked all their sap, thus sucking their light and an Elf who passed by, threw himself against them, desperate for their blasphemous act and Melkor killed him, thus making the blood flow in Aman for the first time.
The Elves present at the party froze, frightened and could not understand why the light vanished so much in Aman. Fingolfin, after a while, called the Elves to run towards the trees, and the Valar did the same, but when they arrived at the Trees, it was already too late and they found the lifeless body of this brave Elf who had chosen to stand up to his opponent.
Seeing the horror of the scene, they understood that Melkor was responsible and Fëanor began to panic, starting to violently accuse the Valar. Nyéni and Maedhros had only just arrived on the spot, noticing for themselves the damage. Maedhros went to his father, trying to calm him down, and Nyéni fell to her knees in front of the trees next to Nienna and she cried on their roots, caressing their notched trunks emptied of their lives.
Maedhros managed to get his father out of his growing madness and the latter, realising that this was Melkor's work, stopped, his eyes wide, looking at his son:
“The Silmarils, father, the Silmarils!”
And the Fëanorians understood the seriousness of the situation, they all got on their horses and rode at high speed to Formenos, but when they arrived, it was too late. Their homes had been ransacked, their people; slaughtered, their streets; paved with blood, and all rushed to the royal apartments. There they found Finwë, savagely murdered, almost beheaded, lying in his blood with the sword in his hand.
Fëanor fell on his father's body as one fell into the arms of death and he began to scream and cry incessantly and his howls struck Nienna to the heart who heard him in the distance. The Fëanorions fell to the ground behind their father, noting for the first time how terrifying and painful death was and Istandur knelt before the dead King and the new legitimate King of the Noldor and he put his face on the ground thus making deep reverence to the two Kings.
After a long time, Fëanor realised that killing the King had not been Morgoth's goal by coming here and when he went to the chest room with Istandur where he stored all his jewels, he found that everything had been looted and that the Silmarils had been stolen. Anger and sorrow took him, as well as mourning.
He ordered Istandur to make his father's body presentable so that he could find rest in death and he left again with his sons to go find the Valar, still crying for the Trees. They arrived illuminated by torches and carried the news of the King's death and the theft of the Silmarils. But the Valar were already very concerned and knew all the horror of which Melkor was capable and they did not give enough importance to the pain of the Elves. Fingolfin was devastated, as was Finarfin and Fëanor was furious.
He, Fëanor, accused the Valar, saying that they were supposed to protect them from Melkor here in Aman. He reminded everyone that this was the reason why they had exiled them from the lands that were theirs and where they were Lords. He accused them of having made them slaves, and suddenly, no longer knowing who to yell at, he turned to Nienna and Nyéni and accused them:
"And them! You listened to them, they asked for forgiveness to be granted to Melkor, and you chose to listen to them! And that one," he said pointing to Nyéni who broke down: "She told you everything she had suffered because of him and used her past experience to convince you to forgive him. She, who shouldn't even be here! If today my father died, if the Silmarils were stolen from me, it is because of this foreign Elven monster."
And as he advanced threateningly towards Nyéni, Fingon and Fingolfin pulled her back to protect her by putting her behind them and Argon took her hand and put his other hand on her shoulder, protecting and comforting her at the same time. And Fingolfin spoke against his brother:
"The mourning overwhelms us on this day. But your pain, my brother, Nyéni felt it long before you, she alone here, really understands us in our sorrow. You're mad with grief and anger, but don't let it outweigh your reason.”
Nyéni looked at Maedhros but the latter looked away from her, as if he had been partially convinced by his father's words, as if he resented her and she was truly afflicted. The Elves separated from the Valar and Fëanor transgressed the order of the Valar to stay out of Tirion and there he invited the Elves to meet to talk about the future and revenge while the Valar hunted Melkor in vain and tried to find a solution to heal the trees.
Fëanor made a powerful speech before the Elves present, and he was a very good speaker, he persuaded many that the Valar had not kept their promises and that they held them as slaves here in Aman while in the East, large lands await them where they could be Lords. And he told them that the Valar did not suffer their pain and would not seek to help them and that they therefore had to fight for themselves. He called them to march to Middle-earth with him, to kill Melkor, to avenge Finwë and to recover the Silmarils who belong to the people of the Noldor.
And in an ill-considered outburst of rage, he made an inviolable oath in which he dragged his sons, saying that they would persecute to death those who would possess a Silmaril and would not hand it over to them. And this oath, all his sons accepted it and it would pursue them for the rest of their lives, each of them. Fingolfin looked at the Ambarussa, and all his nephews, understanding the weight of this oath and the effects it would have on them and he was sorry. Nyéni was not there, she was further away, she was waiting with Nerdanel and Anairë for a decision to be made and when she saw Fingon getting out and walking in a determined way she asked him:
"So? What's going on?"
“We're leaving.”
"Where?" She said turning to her brother who continued his walk and Fingolfin came behind her, with a step as determined as his son and he answered her:
“We're going to war. We go to Middle-earth to recover the Silmarils and avenge the King of the Noldor.”
"When do we leave?"
"You stay here with your mother and Aredhel."
“No, I'm coming with you!”
"There is no discussion about it, once I promised you to protect you and that you would never have to suffer the horrors of Middle-earth again and it is not possible for me to break this promise."
"Father, you cannot force me to stay here. There are many dangers that I know in Middle-earth and I will gladly face them. If I stay here, without you, I would die of grief. So choose, I come with you and face the darkness of Middle-earth to which I have already survived, or I stay here and die of grief?”
He could not bring himself to take such a risk and he reluctantly accepted that she would follow them, and with her Aredhel decided to join the exile as well. In his grief, Fingolfin was more inclined to support his brother and he uttered strong words in front of all: "Half-brother of blood, true brother of heart.", continuing by saying that he would leave the command to Fëanor and that he would follow him and Fëanor finally showed himself warm with his brother, for a while.
Chapter XVII
To get to Araman, they had to use ships and it was not their favorite skill, so they decided to ask the Teleri to give them their beautiful ships and they began the journey to Alqualondë quite confident and already armed for the war in Middle-earth. The Fingolfinians left after Fëanor to find the ships of the Teleri. Finarfin did not have to go to Alqualondë at all, he took a path on foot. But the Teleri refused to leave their ships to the Fëanorians and the two peoples came to fight and make war, thus committing the first Kinslaying.
But the Teleri were only equipped with arrows, and the Noldor were better armed. They reduced them to nothing, but until the end, the Teleri fought and Istandur observed the death of his father that day and Maglor that of his best friend. And when the Fingolfinians arrived behind them, they did not understand what was happening and were seized by the blood that was spreading on the beaches. Nyéni recalled the wars in Middle-earth and she was ready, much more ready than any Noldor, and the Fingolfinians joined the Fëanorians in their fight, leaving no chance to the Teleri.
Fingolfin watched Nyéni go down to the bridge and fight with her sword and he understood that not only had she received good war lessons but that she also knew how to defend herself and manage a battle with cold bloodedness thanks to her experience in Middle-earth as a child. She freed up many ships from the bridge allowing their departure and she sliced each of the Teleri’s bodies that prevented her from advancing, one by one without interruption.
When the cries evaporated, when the Noldor left with the Teleri ships, stained with the blood of those who had put so much heart into the work by making them, they could not believe what they had just committed and understood that there would be no turning back, no choice but to go to Middle-earth and be exiled there.
Nyéni cried for the Teleri, and Fingon tried to console her by hugging her, and with a look back, Maedhros saw this scene from his ship, the ship on which Fëanor's sons had embarked with their father. For a moment, he was jealous and angry even knowing that Fingon was Nyéni's brother. Uinen, when she learned what happened to the Teleri began to cry, and lament, thus creating a great tumult and some of the ships sank with the Noldor who were on board, but none of those of Finwë’s lineage were touched.
But in the North, when they had greatly advanced, a shape on the rocks faced them in majesty: Mandos. He had announced a prophecy against them, saying that there would only be pain, defeat and death for them in Middle-earth and that they should all turn around and implore the forgiveness of the Valar.
But Fëanor answered that there would be no cowardice for them in Middle-earth, and Fingolfin followed him but Finarfin turned around, without his children who chose to follow their uncle Fingolfin. Thus, Finrod was the one who represented the golden house of the Noldor in Middle-earth.
Finarfin became King of the Noldor in Aman and the others continued their way to Araman where the conditions were harsh. Maedhros did not speak to Nyéni, nor to any Fëanorians, so she remained with Turgon and Argon, who did not mix with the Fëanorians.
Nyéni helped Idril a lot, she was suffering from the trip and she had carried her on her back in hundreds of places despite the cold, despite the pain. Turgon helped Elenwë and he was grateful to have Nyéni by his side to help him.
But the rebellion was already raging, because many would die or desert, turning around. The others accused Fëanor of pushing them straight to death, while Fingolfin defended his brother, trying to maintain peace in the ranks.
But Fëanor was afraid, and he took the ships to sail further south, with him he took his sons and his army during the night, discreetly while everyone was sleeping. And the Fingolfinians did not realize anything, until a light illuminated them in the darkness. They all got up seeing a big fire in the distance, and the ships had disappeared, the Fëanorians too.
Nyéni advanced alongside her father and she noticed with him that in the distance, it was their ships that were burning. Ever since then, a gap grew between her and Nienna, compassion deserted her heart, as well as forgiveness, giving way to rage and bitterness.
Fingolfin did not agree to turn back, nor did Finrod and they set off again, divided between despair and rage. Death took many of them, especially when they crossed the Helcaraxë, icy and dangerous, deadly and merciless. They tried to walk taking as little risk as possible, but even on these cursed lands, there lived creatures gifted with cruelty and thirsty for blood.
Twice, they were attacked by giant bears who had sniffed out their presence even in the blizzard and took at the opportunity of a hot-blooded meal. Nyéni, Fingolfin and Fingon fought the first bear and got the better of him, with swords and daggers. Nyéni planted her sword in his back, leaving time for Fingolfin and Fingon to pierce him with their daggers in the throat and stab at the bear until they gutted him.
Thus, the bear who was looking for a meal became the meal of his prey. The second attack was more treacherous, because no one had seen or heard the bear coming because of the wind and the thick snowstorm that besieged them. And the bear attacked Turgon who was carrying Elenwë, his wife, and she was seriously injured. Nyéni realising the great danger that weighed on her sister-in-law and her brother, pushed Idril who wanted to help her parents:
"No! You have to stay away, I'm going!”
And Nyéni went to fight the bear with her brother while Elenwë lay on the ground. Argon joined them but the beast was difficult to kill, and Nyéni was injured, scratched by the bear on the arm. Yet she did not stop, and in a cry of rage after being pushed back from meters away, she started running, jumped in the air with her sword in her hand and planted it in the skull of the bear knocking him down on the spot. The bear fell back with a great crash, landing near Elenwë.
Suddenly, the ice broke, and fell into a precipice. Idril ran to save her mother who slipped and she fell with her. Panic took hold of Fingolfin's clan and Turgon grabbed Idril's arm, who was holding Elenwë. Nyéni seized her daggers and jumped, trying to cling to the glacial walls that had not fallen. She tied Idril with a rope and threw the end of the rope to Turgon who pulled with all his strength. But Elenwë, who lost her strength, let go of Idril and was held in the last second by Nyéni, whose arm was seriously injured and who screamed in pain, but never let go of Elenwë.
Idril was safe, Nyéni pulled Elenwë to catch the piece of rope that had just been thrown by Turgon, but then a thick and heavy piece of ice came off and crashed on Elenwë's face who let go of Nyéni’s arm and was crushed at the bottom of the precipice. Nyéni did not want to go up, she looked at the bottom of the precipice and screamed, but Fingon pulled her towards them and she turned to Turgon who realised that his wife was lost. He fell to the ground mad with grief and his daughter hugged him against her, but Nyéni felt guilty and put her face against the snow on the ground in sorrow.
There they all camped for a while to try to heal their wounds and because Fingolfin was afraid that Turgon would let himself be carried away by his grief that overwhelmed him. Nyéni met Turgon several times, trying to appease him, to convince him to fight but the latter found strength only in the hatred of those he held responsible for his wife's death:
"If we survive, if we arrive in Middle-earth one day, don't ask me to forgive Fëanor or his sons. I would see myself dying rather than forgiving them! They killed my Elenwë! They killed my wife!”
And he fell into Nyéni's arms, screaming in pain, crying and pulling out his hair mad with grief. And Nyéni encouraged him to fight, even if it was not for the best reason in the world:
"You have to fight for your daughter. Turgon, you need to fight! And you have to fight now to look Fëanor in the eyes one day and confront him with his crimes. Fight so that he knows that he is a murderer and a traitor.”
Hatred allowed Turgon to get up and get back on the road and with Nyéni they carried Idril in turn during the rest of the crossing of the Helcaraxë. And while everyone thought they were dead or had turned back, the trumpets of Fingolfin's army sounded in Middle-earth, and their banners sparkled in the light of the first moon. But before considering settling in, they had to taste the mourning again.
Chapter XVIII
The battle of Lammoth took place and for the first time Fingolfin saw Orcs with his own eyes, as well as his children, except Nyéni who fought them much better than the others. She knew their weaknesses and she was enraged after the horror of the Helcaraxë and her battle cries sounded, and she fought alongside Fingon.
But Argon that day became the hero of his clan and he killed the leader of the Orcs sowing disorder in their ranks. He was killed for this and fell under his father's eyes and when Nyéni and Fingon became aware of it, they hunted the Orcs and annihilated them. But they also had to bury their brother, and this caused them terrible grief, because Elenwë's death still seemed too fresh to them and they had not mourned.
When they finally went into Beleriand to settle down, the Fëanorians were amazed to see that they had continued and that they had survived. They were happy at first, because most of them were saddened by the burning of the ships in Losgar and by the abandonment of Fingolfin.
But very quickly, they understood that the Fingolfinians were no longer their allies or friends and that their trumpets would not only announce their challenge to Morgoth, but also to the Fëanorians.
Maglor was now King, because Fëanor had fallen in war and Maedhros had been taken prisoner. He wanted to try to talk to his uncle because he was one of those who did not want to burn the ships and because he had realised that his father's words had been unfair and hurtful.
Istandur tried to dissuade Maglor from talking to Fingolfin and his clan, but seeing that his King was determined, he asked him how he planned to announce to Nyéni that Amrod was dead, burned in the fire of the ships in Losgar, she who loved the twins so much, and who cherished and protected them always.
He did not know what to answer to this, thinking that he could escape this explanation for a while and so, he sent a messenger to Fingolfin, proposing a meeting. Fingolfin was a man of honor and accepted the King's offer, although his children, except Fingon, begged him not to go there.
Everyone was surprised to learn that Maglor was King, and they found it unfair, because Fingolfin was the eldest of Finwë's house. Fingolfin prepared for his meeting with the clan of Fëanor, and with him came Nyéni, Fingon and about fifty trained guards who, at Nyéni's request, had prepared themselves as if for a battle and she did the same. Fingon doubted that it was a good idea to take Nyéni with them, but no one could have prevented her from following them and so, they all mounted their horses and rode to the meeting point.
The sky was grey that day, and Nyéni's mood too, she stared at the horizon, without speaking, without moving, her eyes full of anger and her apprehension was growing. She had promised Turgon that this appointment would not be a family reunion, and she was determined to keep her promise, even if Fingon was openly happy to see his cousins again.
When they arrived, they noticed that Maglor had come with Celegorm and Curufin as well as Istandur and a dozen guards. Already, at the sight of Fingolfin's guard, armed for war, the Fëanorians understood that the mood was not for joy. Istandur was stressed, he had recognized Nyéni's blond hair in the distance and signaled to his King that he could see her. When they were all face to face, Maglor advanced to speak:
"Uncle, I looked forward to seeing you here, alive and strong with a large army to fight our common enemy. I thought, like many, that you had returned to your brother in Aman, but I am very happy that you survived and that you are here with us.”
Fingolfin had come with diplomatic intentions but turning his face towards Nyéni, he recalled the Helcaraxë, his son's pain when Elenwë died, and Argon's death before answering:
"We didn't all survive, King Maglor. We came so that you would at least be aware of your crimes. Many of mine died, and among them, Elenwë, my daughter-in-law, was broken by a block of ice on the Helcaraxë; she still lies at the bottom of a precipice. And after her, Argon, my son, died during a battle against the Orcs where we were not numerous enough to all survive and defeat our enemy without loss. I hold you responsible for their tragic deaths, and I do not offer you my forgiveness just because you are happy to see us. You will earn my forgiveness by deeds, but I am a man of honor, and I will fight against our common enemy with you.”
All were distressed to learn of the death of Elenwë and Argon. Nyéni, dismayed by the position of her Lord and father, looked at him with amazement and smiled at him, for not ignoring their pain and showing clemency towards the opposite clan. Maglor took a time of reflection before answering, thinking of Argon and Elenwë, considering the pain of each of them:
"I am deeply sorry to learn of their death, I wish I could justify myself, but I don't deserve it. We obeyed our father unconsciously, hoping that each of you would turn around and get you out of this horror. I have nothing to offer that could relieve your pain but I will do what I can to try.”
Istandur wanted to speak, he explained that they all shared their pain and that they themselves had lost Fëanor, their King, but Nyéni interrupted him:
“May his fëa be tormented forever.”
And an icy breeze took hold of both camps, she looked at Istandur angrily and ended the discussions by turning around and Fingolfin and his guard did the same. But before turning around, Fingon whispered "I'm sorry" before following his father and each of the two clans returned home.
So Nyéni did not learn the fate of the twins, but she knew about Maedhros, because Fingon questioned Maglor and the latter confessed everything to them. Nyéni cursed the Silmarils and Fëanor three times before crying with a stern mine on the way back, remembering Maglor talking about the fate of Maedhros. Despite her anger, her hatred and her pain, he was still her Russandol and she loved him as much as she hated them all. Fingon wished he could say something to help, but there were no words for such emotions.
Chapter XIX
The Fingolfinians built their homes, but they were numerous, and soon the Fëanorians had to give up space to them. There was no peace between the two clans, although Maglor and Fingon tried to appease things by organising meetings at least between the princely houses as during hunts.
Shortly after the installation of Fingolfin's house, Fingon organized a hunt, with him Nyéni and Aredhel had to leave and neither of them suspected that others would join the hunt. Thus, they were very surprised when Celegorm, Curufin, Maglor and Istandur arrived and Nyéni looked at her brother angrily, but said no words.
She stood at the back, far behind the princes and even far behind Istandur who had a heavy heart to see that Nyéni even refused his company for the time of a hunt. Aredhel had a lot of fun with her cousins and for a moment Nyéni looked at her and thought of Turgon and the anger he would feel towards his sister if he saw her laughing with Fëanor's sons.
The hunt was fruitful but soon wargs came to assault them, Nyéni, although recognised by all as Noldor, still had the genes of the Nandor and she stood on her horse and shot arrow after arrow with supernatural speed, shooting down many of Morgoth’s beasts in her path until a warg jumped on her side and tipped her off her horse.
She quickly straightened up and grabbed her sword and fought fiercely against the beast, as well as the one that came after, and another came quickly. The rage had seized her heart again and when Istandur came to her aid, and they had massacred the wargs around them, she overturned him and threatened him with her sword to the ground. Istandur looked at Nyeni’s sword on his throat and said with difficulty:
“I'm not a warg.”
Nyéni took a moment before bringing herself to consciousness and leaving her murderous madness. Maglor watched the show with fear for his loyal servant, and everyone was relieved when she put her sword away. But she did not stay with them, she took her horse and galloped towards her home in Mithrim with her own.
Turgon noticed that there had been struggle during the hunt and did not understand because he did not know that Fingon had arranged a hunt with Fëanor's house so he followed his sister to her room and there, sat on her bed to question her:
"But you are covered in blood, what happened?"
“We were attacked by wargs, we had to fight.”
“Where are Aredhel and Fingon?”
"They are doing very well, surrounded by the sons of Fëanor whom Fingon secretly invited to our hunt. I almost killed Istandur in my rage by fighting the wargs. I wish I could say that it was just one gesture just in a moment of battle where everything goes too fast, but in truth, there was a part of me screaming for revenge. For a moment, there was nothing left of me, no more part of what I was before the Helcaraxë."
Turgon tenderly wiped Nyéni's tears, comforting her and remained with her the rest of the day. Fingon was not allowed to visit Nyéni because Turgon refused him and for a moment, he blamed himself for lying to Nyéni and forcing her to hunt with Fëanor's sons.
Fingon wrote a letter to Maglor to apologise for the incident between Istandur and Nyéni and took full responsibility, but Istandur did not resent Nyéni and neither did Maglor. They apologised because they considered that they were responsible for Nyéni's anger and that this incident had taken place because of them. Everything stopped there and they did not see each other for a long time. Nyéni hunted to bring back food or to kill Orcs and other creatures of Morgoth and soon her reputation grew, and her value in combat was sung and praised, many wanted to train with her to learn how to fight.
During a beautiful morning at the beginning of winter, an invitation arrived in Mithrim, Nyéni was returning from a night of hunting Orcs, covered with black blood and with a severe face when she was requested to go and see Fingolfin and the other Princes by a servant of Fingon:
“My Lady, your father is waiting for you with your brothers and sister for an important family reunion. A letter arrived bearing the emblem of the house of Fëanor.”
"I hunted all night, I have wounds to clean, a hot meal and a little rest waiting for me. And I have nothing to do with Maglor’s people.”
"My Lady, it's an order from your father..."
She frowned very strongly, but she had never disobeyed her father's orders, so she rode to the meeting point near a silver fountain and Fingolfin was dismayed to see her fully covered with black blood, injured and with armor in poor condition. Suddenly, he stopped his conversation with his other children and questioned Nyéni:
"Where do you come from dressed like this with Orc’s blood?!"
"I was hunting last night against the Orcs who descended to the South, I massacred them with a battalion made up of our best hunters."
He was not sure he should approve, and seeing the impassive faces of his other children, he understood that it was not the first time and that Nyéni lived decidedly only for the massacre, so the taste of blood had taken root in her and he could do nothing to relieve her rage. Thus he began the meeting:
"My children, I received very early in the morning this letter signed by King Maglor who invites us to stay in their country for a while. I intend to accept, not only because he is our King, but also because I want to exchange information we both have about the enemy. I have not been able to forge an alliance with Thingol so far, and I cannot fight the enemy if I do not have all the information. Also I will write back to Maglor to inform him that we accept his proposal and will leave for a week. We are not afraid of the cold, but I prefer to leave as long as winter is at the beginning and you, my children, will go with me."
Turgon refused and an argument broke out between him and his father. Turgon could never forget his pain following the loss of his wife, and despite the order received from his father he refused to follow him and left the family reunion.
Nyéni stared at the ground and everyone expected her to protest as well, but she said nothing and, continuing to obey her Lord, she prepared for their departure. Meanwhile, Fingolfin sent back Maglor's messenger indicating who would be present among Fingolfin's people. Istandur was amazed to hear that Nyéni had accepted to come.
Chapter XX
Thus the journey was prepared, with bitterness and great grief for Nyéni, who did not bear the idea of having to stay with the people of Fëanor, because a shadow weighed on her heart, an icy shadow, that of the pain of the Helcaraxë. None of those who are not of the people of Fingolfin or Finrod will know, no one will know that the pain of the murderous ice will never leave them, that they will endure it until their souls wither or death takes them.
No one will hear the cries of the victims of snow, ice, crevices, monstrous beasts, cold, despair and mourning, those cries of the past that will haunt every Fingolfinian every winter, during all the calm and too silent nights, during all their moments of recollection. What Fëanor's house had done to Fingolfin's house was not only an abject betrayal, but a murderous act, a curse placed on all those they had left in the ice.
Some will defend themselves by saying that they hoped that Fingolfin would return in Aman, but nothing good had really crossed their minds, because if this were the case, the ships would have been sent back without being burned, and although Fëanor himself made the decision to burn the ships, his clan did not protest, at best, some refused to participate, but no one protested.
Fingon was quick to forgiveness, like others, but Nyéni could not, she who had seen death in her childhood losing wildly her biological parents now had to endure the mourning of her sister-in-law Elenwë and her brother Argon and among the Noldor, she was then the one who had lost the most in her life and the one from whom everyone expected wise and compassionate words leading to forgiveness, but the hour of forgiveness did not yet come.
At the gates of the city, Maglor and his brothers welcomed their hosts, determined that everything would go well and that a link could again exist between them. By favor, Aredhel and Fingon helped in this sense, Fingolfin too, although reserved and still dissatisfied with Maglor's position as King. Istandur was responsible for accompanying the princely guests in their apartments, starting with Fingolfin and Fingon, Aredhel wanted to share her room with Nyéni, but Nyéni refused because in her heart, she resented her sister for enjoying this stay and although it was hard for Aredhel, they arranged a separate room for Nyéni and so she was the last to arrive at her room with Istandur.
She had walked far behind him, and when he stopped and opened the door of her room she entered and closed it behind her without saying a word. Of course, it was painful for Istandur who wondered if his friend would forgive him one day.
Nyéni settled very quickly and, refusing the hospitality that was offered to her, she went out riding to hunt for her own food alone. She ate outside the city by lighting a fire before returning, everyone had looked for her to join the feast but she returned to her room, closing the door behind her and only came out the next day to go cut wood for her own fire, hoping again to avoid the company of the Fëanorian.
Alas, she cut the wood for a long time, quite furiously it seemed to Istandur and Maglor who had been watching her for a while in the distance after hearing the axe noises. They both wanted to take advantage of this isolated moment to try to talk to Nyéni and appease her anger and the remaining tensions between them. Istandur approached while she split the wood without interruption and he started the conversation, although she turned her back on him and turned to put the wood on her pile without looking at him:
"It pleases me to see that you are as skilled with an axe as with your sword and bow. Rumors said that you had become the executioner of Fingolfin, a hunter of Orcs and wargs without common measure. I did not believe it right away, you are still the sweet Nyéni who rocks the Ambarussa for me, the singer and dancer who graciously turns around Telperion. But when I heard the description of the Elf in question; silver blonde hair, cold face and green eyes in the colors of the woods during a pale Spring’s morning. So, I knew it was you, and I admired everything I heard about you, sometimes even crying because of the grief that was associated with the stories about you and yours..."
Nyéni did not answer, although she hit the wood hard when she heard the mention of Telperion and she was moved to hear about the Ambarussa. Suddenly, she began to think about the twins and the fact that she had not seen them at their first meeting, nor at the second, nor at this one but she did not have time to think much about it because Istandur talked about the events of Losgar and Nyéni went into rage:
"I can see that you are angry with me, with all of us. I'm sorry for what happened on the Helcaraxë, I'm sorry that Elenwë died as well as so many of yours, and I'm sorry for the death of Argon too. I know you loved your brother dearly and we were not there to help you in these difficult times. We sincerely hoped that you would all turn around, we had not considered that you would face all these dangers, you all had to return to Valinor and survive in peace in the Blessed Land with Finarfin..."
He wanted to continue but he couldn't because Nyéni broke a huge log in half with her axe before releasing it to the ground. She grabbed her silver dagger and rushed to Istandur, putting her blade on his neck and holding it by the eight-pointed star on his coat of arms before finally breaking her silence:
"Don't talk to me about what we, Fingolfinians, should have done. Don't talk to me about Helcaraxë, don't talk to me about Elenwë, or Argon. You are murderers, you have no idea what it was like to be stuck on the Helcaraxë for years, you will never know this pain that you helped inflict on us, you did not see Elenwë's body fall and break before a piece of glacier explodes on her lifeless body. And you don't know what it is to lose a brother."
And her eyes filled with tears, Istandur bled because she pressed the blade on his throat as she spoke. Maglor took emotion and pity and fearing what she would do to Istandur, he spoke:
"He doesn't know but I know, I know what it is like to lose a brother."
"No, you don't know it." Nyéni continued: “Maedhros is alive, I can feel it deep in me and I know you can too.”
“I'm not talking about Maedhros. I'm talking about Amrod.”
With a jump, Nyéni let go of Istandur and turned to Maglor, her breathing became painful in her chest, her legs fought to stay fixed, her eyes were troubled with tears with reflections of silver and in misunderstanding, she replied:
"What? What did you just say? Where is Amrod? And where is Amras?”
"Nyéni, I'm sorry, I wanted you to know earlier, but I was reluctant to see you suffer more. I know that the Ambarussa are dear to your heart, I know that you love them and that a bond unites you that we can't understand. When our father ordered the fire of the ships in Losgar, Amrod was unfortunately still on board and we did not realize it before too long… He perished in the fire... Amras unfortunately did not overcome his mourning, he left us and started wandering in Beleriand...”
Nyéni did not believe Maglor's words, although she saw the pain on his face, she turned to Istandur, thinking that perhaps he would deny, but he too was in great pain and he could not support Nyéni's eyes full of tears and lowered his head before her.
Nyéni burst into tears and fell on her knees, Maglor tried to take her in his arms to pick her up but she could barely do it, she screamed in pain and grief. Maglor wanted to hug her to comfort her, but she struggled and pushed him away by hitting him. Istandur wanted to intervene because he could not stay there while she hit the King but Maglor signaled him not to intervene and he squeezed Nyéni even tighter.
Putting his hand behind her head and caressing her hair, she finally stopped to struggle, feeling that finally, her grief was shared and she let herself be hugged for several minutes, imploring Nienna to relieve her heart but it did not come. After a while, she freed herself from Maglor and looked at him with resentment, anger and sadness and before returning to her room, she spoke again:
“I loved them as if they were my own and you destroyed them.”
Chapter XXI
Her wood remained there outside, because she went back to her room and barricaded herself. Her fire went out, she remained in the dark, lying on her bed, without getting up, without eating, without drinking for days. Maglor and Istandur tried to get her out before realising that the situation was probably more alarming than they thought. Frightened, they alerted Fingolfin of the situation, and the latter was with Fingon at that time:
"Uncle, please forgive my interruption, but I have to talk to you about a problem with Nyéni."
"What's going on?" asked Fingolfin before noting that Istandur had a mark on his throat that was recent:
"Nyéni didn't cause you a problem?"
"No, uncle. Three days ago, we caught her in the yard cutting her wood. So we talked to her and as the discussion went on, I mentioned the fate of my younger brothers and...”
"What fate? What happened to them?”
"My uncle... Amrod died, burned in one of the ships... and Amras disappeared... I didn't have the heart to tell you at our first meeting, I didn't want to impose additional grief on you, but I couldn't leave Nyéni in ignorance forever..."
Fingolfin knew how much Nyéni loved the twins and he didn't need Maglor to continue his story, he loved his daughter and knew her better than anyone, he didn't let Maglor continue and he pushed him, running to Nyéni’s room, Fingon behind him. And when they arrived, they tried to enter without success, they called her, asked her to let them in but no answer was made and under the door they felt the cold assault them.
They looked through the hole in the door and saw that Nyéni was lying, eyes open but she was not moving, they had no idea what to do and decided to give her time so every day for several hours, Fëanorian and Fingolfinian took turns to keep watch on her. When the first turn of Fingon came, he put his hand on his heart, called her by her name and for a moment, he felt her pain and in his mind, everything was laid bare for him to see: the wars under the stars when Nyéni was a child, the murder of her dear Lord Denethor, the exile at the edge of the water of the Laiquendi, the hunting of the wargs, the discovery of the bodies of those of her people, of her vilely mutilated parents, the exile in Aman, the repeated torments of Fëanor, the death of Elenwë she had personally witnessed, the death of Argon, the capture of Maedhros, and the death of the Ambarussa whom she cherished as if they were her own.
How could she not have passed away because of grief? How could she still be alive? The days passed and these thoughts no longer left Fingon. After three weeks, it was too much for him, as well as for Fingolfin. Both began to smash the door and Maglor came behind them alerted by the knocks and understood that the wait was no longer possible, the door was resistant but they certainly smashed it. Fingolfin leaned over Nyéni, caressed her face and saw that she was very pale, her eyes stared at the void and no longer shone, she was withering.
He took her in his arms and thus ended the stay with the Fëanorians because Fingolfin’s clan returned to their homes and there Nyéni was treated as she could. The pain did not leave her heart, but she got up and regained strength although she kept silence for a long time, chilling the blood of those who fought and hunted with her, contemplating her, massacring her enemies without frowning, or making grimaces, or even pushing a war cry or a weak sound of breathing, just silence and a red cape that she carried for a long time in memory of the Ambarussa.
Nyéni could not accept the fate of the Ambarussa, she gnawed at her mind and damaged her soul thinking about it day and night. Her family saw it well but they were powerless to stop her pain, although they too had loved the Ambarussa. Nyéni went hunting more and more regularly, again and again, tirelessly, without real rest, so that the hunters who always accompanied her before, soon no longer wanted to follow her.
She did not go hunting for game, nor to kill Orcs although she had to kill some on her way; but she went hunting to find Amras who was supposed to wander somewhere, alone and tormented, his heart in pain.
But every day was a painful failure, and Fingon sometimes joined her to try to reason with her on the way, but she never listened, or even paid attention to his words. So, one day, as she returned alone, visibly exhausted and hurt, Fingon showed firmness and ordered that she was taken to be treated and dressed comfortably to rest for some time.
She couldn’t fight against it, so she accepted and trying to get off her horse, she fell. It was so painful to observe for Fingon that he didn't even move but cried profusely watching the princely guards carry her away. There she fell into a powerful sleep, and he cleaned her body, bandaged her wounds, dressed her in a blue and silver dress, the color of her house and brushed her hair.
She slept for a long time and received several visits; those of her family who worried if she would pass away from too much grief, and insurmountable pain. But once again, she survived and woke up with Fingon who held her hand and had put his head on Nyéni's leg. When he felt that she was moving, he turned his face towards her and was very happy to see her awake and rested. She was still sore from her wounds but she got up and once standing, she plunged her eyes into Fingon's and she began to cry incessantly, she melted into his arms in search of comfort:
“I will never see the Ambarussa again.”
Fingon didn't know what to answer her, he didn't know which answer would hurt her the least. He simply hugged her very tightly and let her cry, hoping that it would release her pain, even a little bit. He wanted to know what would help Nyéni feel better, he asked her what he could do, what he was able to accomplish and who would help her feel better. But she withdrew from his arms, looked at him with pain and replied:
"What can you do Prince Fingon? I wish that just for once, at least once, death and curse did not get the better of us. I would like something good to happen to us. I would like the pain to turn into hope again in our bruised hearts. But it doesn't depend on any of us.”
She went to get some fresh air and Fingon did not hold her back, he was thoughtful, he wondered what could be good, what could give hope to his people. He remained there for a long time, standing, thoughtful, without talking or moving until he decided to take the road to the North, not towards distant relatives, but towards the Thangorodrim.
Chapter XXII
In his madness, he had decided that he would go alone to save Maedhros from the torments inflicted on him and no one noticed his departure for a while. But when Fingolfin asked to see his son and that he was missing, everyone started looking for him and all they had found was a written word quickly saying; “aurë entuluva”.
Thus everyone was certain that Fingon was preparing something and that he was sure enough of himself not to tell anyone about it and go alone. Nyéni was worried, but she felt in her heart that her brother was fine and soon, she resumed her hunts, looking everywhere in search of Amras and Fingon. Her hunts were aimed at bringing back game and/or eliminating the soldiers of the enemy.
Fingon quickly arrived in the enemy's land, hidden by the thick and abundant smoke that lay all around the Thangorodrim. He started looking, he pressed on hard, and after a long time, anguished at the idea that he would not be able to find his cousin, his best friend.
And he fell a few times and skinned his face and legs on the northern rocks, he lamented his failure until he began to sing a Noldorin lament, dejected and without any hope.
But a thing of nameless beauty happened; a voice in the air resumed his song with him, it was that of Maedhros and Fingon got up and began to run looking into the air.
He was gradually approaching this voice that called him and when he finally found Maedhros, a fleeting moment of joy seized him, before realising that he had no way to free him. For, he was too high and nothing around allowed him to climb to this height. Thus, Maedhros begged him:
"Please, Fingon, my cousin, my friend, my brother, shoot me down now so that my sorrow ends, and tell my brothers that I am sorry. Please, take your bow and set off an arrow aiming at my heart, and pray that my love for Nyéni does not go out."
Fingon was reluctant to do it, but couldn’t see any way to save him. He took his bow, notched an arrow and began to pray to Manwë himself:
"O Manwë, King of the Valar, hear me, hear the bruised heart of one of the children of Ilúvatar, hear my grief and pain, and I beg you, have mercy on the Noldor one last time and guide the winds so that this arrow reaches its target."
But the time had not come for a new sorrow. Because here it is! Thorondor, King of the Eagles, messenger of Manwë himself had settled with his family near the Thangorodrim to spy the enemy and report news to Manwë. Hearing Fingon’s lament, the latter rushed into the air and stood in majesty in front of Fingon who was stunned by the size of the bird and feared for a moment that the beast had come to attack him.
But the latter extended his wing in front of him and Fingon understood that he was coming to their rescue and offered to support him. Thus, on Thorondor's back he flew away until he was in front of Maedhros, he gave him a little water and wanted to free him but it was impossible to release his hand clinging to the wall of the Thangorodrim and Maedhros begged him again to free him from his immense pains by killing him.
Near the goal, Fingon refused and resigned himself, he cut the hand of Maedhros who screamed so loudly that the underground halls of the Thangorodrim began to rumble. Fingon caught him with him on Thorondor's back and the latter took them far away, where they could both escape Morgoth's anger and he deposited them near a herd of wild horses.
Fingon took care of Maedhros before they finished their journey: he cleaned his wound near a river sheltered from eyes and he tore his cape to protect the wound. When Maedhros looked at his mutilated member he was taken by great grief because he felt divided between a feeling of diminishing his person and a feeling of immense happiness of having survived and being with his friend. Nevertheless, he was very weak and time was running out, but before he lost his strength, he looked at the sun in the distance, walking with difficulty and Fingon behind him did not dare to say anything, but Maedhros broke the ice:
"I'm sorry. Sorry for not standing up to my father, sorry for not ordering the return of the ships to you. Sorry you had to take a deadly path to get to where we got with ease. Sorry to have cowardly abandoned you and committed the worst betrayal. When I watched the ships burn, I turned my gaze to you and wondered if you would ever have the strength to forgive me but above all I prayed for your survival, even if it meant enduring your hatred forever. Having betrayed my best friend was painful, but having betrayed the woman I love... There are no words in our language for such a betrayal, I understood that my father's heart was perverted by hatred very quickly. I understood that he was wrong about Nyéni and that I had turned my back on her for no valid reason. I'm ashamed.
There is not a day when I have not thought of her, where I have not wanted more than anything to see her face again one last time and yet, today a chance is offered to me but I am afraid. I'm afraid she hates me, I'm afraid to see hatred in her eyes because even if she's quick to forgive more than others, I won't forgive myself for what I've done. I will do anything to gain her forgiveness, but I fear that nothing will be enough to relieve her pain and deserve her indulgence. To you, Fingon, my cousin, I ask for forgiveness, may you find the strength in your heart to forgive me."
"Nyéni is no longer who she was. Too many times during her life, she had to endure mourning and suffering and today her heart is darkened, gnawed by hatred and grief and her coldness even surpasses that of Helcaraxë, so that no winter is more deadly than her. She became a great warrior by dint of anger and desire for revenge. Yet she still cries and sometimes I find her at the water's edge calling Uinen to ask the sea to engulf her so that she is freed from her feelings that she cannot contain. She will not forgive you easily, but your survival will bring great benefit to the Noldor and I know that in her heart, she loves you tenderly and will one day end up accepting your repentance. As far as I am concerned, you have been forgiven for a long time, I do not hold you responsible for the acts committed during your father's reign. I will help you find your place in our world.”
Maedhros cried listening to the story that Fingon told about Nyéni and he could see her in his mind and feel what her bruised soul had to endure and although delighted with Fingon's forgiveness, the pain became insurmountable and he fell. A wild horse presented himself to them and lowered himself as a sign of respect, Fingon raised Maedhros on his back and he climbed behind him and rode until he found his country.
Chapter XXIII
Upon his arrival, people were stunned to discover who was with him, they all recognized Maedhros’ fiery hair and thought he was dead because he was lying on the back of the horse, face down. Fingolfin ran to meet Fingon and Maedhros and he was stunned, he helped Fingon to transport Maedhros without asking questions and the Fëanorians were called to ride as fast as possible to meet their King. But before they arrived, Fingolfin installed Maedhros with the respect due to a King and put at his disposal the best healers who hastened to treat him to be sure he will have the best chance to survive. When everything was ready, Fingon turned to his father:
"Nyéni?"
"She's hunting, I'm going to send men to bring her back."
"No reason should be given, or I'm afraid she won't come back."
“Then no reason will be given.”
He replied to his son, placing his hand on his shoulder to calm his agitation. He left the room leaving Fingon with Maedhros and the latter did not leave his bedside but waited for Nyéni’s arrival.
Nyéni arrived, Fingolfin, who had waited for her return, said nothing. Nyéni looked at Turgon not far away who did not smile and seemed angry. She worried but followed her father without arguing and when she entered the room where Maedhros was treated with Fingon by his side, she could not believe her eyes.
Her Russandol was there, stretched out, severely injured, almost lifeless. She did not move and Fingon approached her as one approached a wounded deer in the forest so as not to frighten her. He hugged her although she could not return her embrace, always with her eyes on Maedhros' body. He explained his quest to her as she approached the bed calmly and silently. She looked at his hand and shed a tear on it, but she did not kiss him, or offer him any tender gesture, she only asked:
“Will he survive?”
"Yes, we are hopeful that he will survive and the Fëanorians are galloping towards us at this time. They will strengthen our group of healers and give him all their love.”
"Good."
And she left the room, thinking she would go hunting right away because she had a great need to escape, but Fingolfin ordered her to stay and help prepare for the arrival of the Fëanorians in the best accommodation and she replied deftly:
"That's what I'm going to do, hunting to have enough food for them."
“Your horse will stay here.”
“Then I would go on foot.”
And she left the place in the dark, advancing straight, aimlessly, she struggled to breathe and as she advanced her tears became more and more abundant and she screamed in pain until finally, she fell to the ground, in tears, trembling. She didn’t know herself if it was out of anger towards Maedhros for his father's crimes, out of pain of seeing the one she loved almost dead or because she had contained her pain regarding Maedhros' destiny for centuries, not knowing if he would survive or not. She simply remained there until after dawn, soaking the ground with her silver tears.
When the Fëanorians arrived, all the brothers were present, as well as their best healers and Istandur, their most loyal servant. The latter was panicked by the news of the survival of Maedhros, his King and he had nothing else in mind than to be by his side day and night to serve him as well as possible. Although nothing stopped him on his way in search of his Master, he stopped when he saw Fingon, bowed before him and thanked him.
Nyéni had previously returned to implore her father to let her hunt and in exchange she promised to be back on the day of the arrival of Maedhros' brothers, and he accepted. She kept her promise, she returned with her hunters loaded with beasts on the day of the arrival of Maedhros’ clan, the spirits were still troubled and Istandur had not yet left his King. So Nyéni and the hunters made a camp nearby around a fire to warm themselves and prepare the animals all night without rest.
The next day, Maglor accompanied by Istandur, to whom he was lavishing his requests regarding his brother's care, arrived at their wild camp surrounded by animal skins. Istandur was delighted to see Nyéni again, safe and healthy, because he had not seen her since Fingolfin had carried his daughter while she was dying of pain surrounded by the Fëanorions.
But she did not share their joy, yet she had no right to refuse their company, so she accepted that they would sit with them. They offered to help but she refused, claiming that Lord Fingolfin did not want his guests to be treated as servants of his house. In truth, they knew that she simply did not want them to stay too long with her and they could feel her bitterness again. Though, knowing the nature of the relationship she had with Maedhros, Maglor questioned her:
“Have you seen Maedhros recently? I'm afraid we, his brothers, are a little too over protective and you may not have had the opportunity to find yourself alone with him since our arrival. I could ask my brothers to let you see him alone today, what do you think?”
"I'm not his family, it's not my place to look after him."
And Istandur somewhat indignantly replied:
"But he is your King, it is the duty of all Noldor to care about his survival. He loves you and you love him too, so it gives you a place as important as his brothers at his bedside."
Nyéni looked at him angrily and had to contain herself so as not to be hurtful. She took the time to think and rethink her words in her head before answering:
"Fingolfin is my only Lord, he is the only one to whom I obey, as you obey your Lord, Istandur. He didn't order me to watch over the wounded King, so I won't do it. And I would like you to never talk to me about love again, because this man you claim who loves me, burned the ships that cost Elenwë’s life, that condemned us to suffering and misery, who led us to lands where the enemy was waiting for us and where my brother died. So never talk to me about love or feelings again, because I only know grief and resentment."
They withdrew from her sight, understanding that although Maedhros' survival was a relief for her, it did not make her forget or forgive the offenses suffered. She finished preparing the animals and had meals organised for a few days before going to the river to swim and clean the blood that stained her skin and she took with her another combat outfit, suggesting that she would leave soon.
Chapter XXV
Fingolfin decided that the evening meal would turn into a council and the healers of the two houses were invited to join them to talk about the state of the King and Nyéni had to be present too, but she did not come in a dress, she kept her black combat outfit and she braided her hair like a warrior, removing her red cape and wearing on a blue one, her father's colors.
She was cold, her hands behind her back, her face high and no smile on her lips. She wore her sword, her silver daggers and a necklace that the Noldor make for those who mourn their loved ones. She wore it as a message, so that the Fëanorians remember the luck they have that death has spared Maedhros, because the Fingolfinians did not have that chance.
The message was strong, because even Caranthir at her sight lowered his eyes, slightly taken by a feeling of shame, his brothers were ashamed too, even more than him. Thus the healers made their report and it seemed to them that the King would wake up soon and from that moment, Maglor ordered Istandur to return at the King’s bedside and not to leave him until he woke up. Turgon and Nyéni remained silent until the end of the council, but Nyéni was asked to bring Istandur's meal to Maedhros' room, because in a hurry to find his King, he had left without eating and although she did not want to approach Maedhros, she obeyed her father, as always.
She entered Maedhros' room and looked at him with pain, it was difficult for her to see him suffer even if she was angry with him. She advanced to Istandur looking at Maedhros when she finally turned her face towards him and gave him his meal, he thanked her and she turned her back to leave without a word but he interrupted her:
"There is only you and me here, and everyone thinks that you only bring me my meal, so no one will know if you show tenderness towards Maedhros, no one but me and I would not betray your secret."
"You will not betray my secret, unless your King asks you when he wakes up. Like your last King did ask you to betray us, am I right?"
He lowered his head because in truth, she was right, he would betray her again if his King asked him. But before she left he added:
"Maybe he hasn't woken up yet because he hasn't received the love of everyone he loves. Maybe he needs to feel your presence to be able to wake up? If there was the slightest chance that it would work... Please, call Nienna with your wishes so that she soothes you and gives him an ounce of your love, your pity..."
Nyéni lowered her head, she closed her eyes and bit her cheeks for a few moments before whispering:
"Nienna. Nienna, hear me.”
And when she opened her eyes, she turned around and slowly advanced towards Maedhros, Istandur stepped back to make room for her. She put her hand on his chest full of scars to feel the beats of his heart and as she approached to kiss his forehead, her tears fell on the lips of her Russandol and she told him "tyë melë" (I love you) before leaving the room. Istandur approached in silence, contemplating the lips of his King, soaked in Nyéni's tears and he saw that his eyes moved under his eyelids and that his lips moved as if to feel the tears of his beloved.
But he did not open his eyes yet, all night he was agitated and whispered things that Istandur could not understand. The next morning, Nyéni had to leave this time on her father's orders and not hunting but in the North to scout out the enemy. As Fingon did not want to leave Maedhros, Turgon accompanied Nyéni with some of the bravest soldiers and hunters of Fingolfin's army.
The journey to the North was not without difficulty, because many of Morgoth's creatures were in panic, like their dark Master who must have been very furious to have lost the King of the Noldor. They all had to stay under cover because if they wanted to continue to move forward to understand what was happening, they had to be not seen or to attack the enemy and so they went and gathered all the actions of the enemy's servants that they could see.
It was in Nyéni's absence that Maedhros opened his eyes in the morning. Istandur was mad with joy, but he did not show it, not wanting to disturb his King, but he knelt down and leaned very deeply in front of his bed and the latter tried to straighten up with pain before looking at his hand and remembering everything.
He looked around as Istandur got up to support him as well as he could and he could see his uncle's banners and understood that Fingon had managed to save his life. The news of his awakening quickly reached everyone and his brothers visited him, as well as Fingon, but Fingolfin decreed that Maedhros had deserved a time of peace with his brothers and he would not visit him yet but said that if the King wanted to talk to him, he would go to meet him, and his tone was rather cold and distant.
Maglor was happy with his brother's awakening and told him what had happened during his absence and Maedhros questioned him about Nyéni. The latter turned to Istandur, hesitating to tell his brother the truth but finally he told the full story and Maedhros was sad to hear everything that Fingolfin’s clan had suffered and how much it had affected them all.
However, his heart broke when he heard that Nyéni had almost died of grief among the Fëanorians when she had learned of the fate of the Ambarussa. When he forced Maglor to reveal to him whether Nyéni had visited him or not, Maglor took up Nyéni's words, saying that she would not visit the King because her Lord had not commanded her and that she was not a member of the family and therefore had no need to watch over him.
Chapter XXVI
Maedhros reflected at length after this and he did not confide his ideas to his family or Istandur, but he thought of Argon and Elenwë, the betrayal that soiled the honor of Fëanor's house, he thought of the Helcaraxë and all the pain that his uncle's house had suffered, briefly he considered the words of Mandos and the curse thrown at them. Finally he called Istandur and asked him to organise a public event and that the ambassadors would be both Fingolfin and himself.
Istandur questioned his King about the nature of this event but Maedhros said nothing, he did what was necessary and it took three days to prepare and organise the ceremony.
On the third day, Maedhros tried to prepare himself alone but wasn’t able to fully manage. He felt diminished, he did not want to accept the help of Istandur, who struggled even more to see his Master like this. After a moment, Maedhros finally ended up accepting that Istandur would arrange his hair and his outfit, although very embarrassed by this, Istandur reassured his Master:
"Don't worry my King, the enemy will touch your blade with your left hand and for daily tasks, you will learn over time to do everything with one hand, as a child learns to do everything with both hands, and you will not be less good than the others."
Thus prepared, he went out and went to the ceremony and songs of joy were sung for his healing. Maedhros looked for Nyéni but he did not find her, because she had not returned and did not even know that he was awake. Fingon realised that he was looking for her and he was sad but he gave him a big smile and bowed to him. Fingolfin was waiting for his nephew in front of an arch overlooking the country of the North and there flowers had grown that had never been seen before.
In front of the crowd and at the side of his uncle who knew no more than the others what was happening, he began his speech:
"O great people of the Noldor, I greatly need to talk to you. My father, the King, failed. He failed to keep his promises, he failed to keep our people united in one block. But it was not the greatest of his crimes, because choosing an easier path, he deprived those of my uncle’s people to take the same path, by burning the ships that we had stolen and by secretly leaving.”
*𝘕𝘺é𝘯𝘪 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘢𝘦𝘥𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘴' 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘦𝘤𝘩*
“By his act, he is guilty of the tragic death of Elenwë, wife of Turgon and that of Argon, hero of the battle of Lammoth, who could have been saved if we had made a common front. He is also guilty of the immense suffering endured for years on the Helcaraxë by the Fingolfinians. For that, I, Maedhros, do not recognise the authority of the house of Fëanor over all the Noldor who will now never again be able to unite under one banner.
So I turn to my uncle Fingolfin, the eldest of the house of Finwë, to put the crown of the Noldor in his hands, so that he guides our people to victory in unity and honor. My uncle, I would not have enough time during my eternal life to apologise for all the evil deeds that my house did to yours, we were in error and by this gesture today, I hope at least to appease the tensions between our two peoples."
Thus, he put his crown into the hands of his uncle who was stunned, and Nyéni who was far behind was surprised and moved because the people of Fingolfin had long wanted the authority to go to him.
On the other hand, Maedhros' brothers were divided, Caranthir did not respect his brother’s decision, Celegorm and Curufin felt dispossessed but acquiesced while Maglor applauded and supported his older brother's decision. He understood that it was the only chance of the Noldor to unite against the enemy, the real enemy. As promised, the tensions subsided in part, because the Fingolfinians had judged Maedhros to be a better man than his father, a man of honour.
When he moved away to make way for the new King in front of his people, he faced the crowd and recognised Nyéni in the distance He was immersed in a painful dream that gave him the vision of all the moments spent together, he contemplated her face and saw the coldness of which Fingon had spoken to him. But he also saw the reflection of who she was before and he rejoiced that finally a chance was offered to him to personally apologise to Nyéni.
When everything was over, he descended among the crowd towards his beloved, he saw her get back on her horse and leave the place. Fingon came to him and comforted him, saying that she simply needed more time.
The celebration of Fingolfin's coronation took place the same day. In the evening, a feast was organised and many of Noldor were there, Finrod and his people as well, as they were visiting Fingolfin during these happy events.
The feast was a joyful event, as had not happened in too long a time. Nyéni had no choice but to show up, she knew it, she could not stay away on the day of her father's coronation. She returned from her hunt stained with Orc blood and joined the feast, while keeping herself at a distance, until finally the places began to empty and only at that moment, she also left to go to the river to clean herself and change clothes.
When she returned, she went directly to her rooms and there was seized by a surprise she did not expect; Maedhros was waiting for her there, not wanting to leave her anywhere to flee so that she would listen to what he had to say. Although she stepped back when she saw him, she did not leave the room and let him speak by turning her back and facing the door:
"I'm sorry Nyéni. I'm sorry for everything, I shouldn't have listened to my father, he was wrong about you and I knew it, yet in our grief I let him say all this and I obeyed, but you are not the cause of our misfortunes for having advocated forgiveness, it was a courageous act!
I'm sorry for Losgar, I didn't take part in it but it wasn't enough, I should have prevented him, I should have found a way to dissuade him from doing this. I'm sorry for all the losses you suffered, and I'm sincerely sorry for the Ambarussa. You can't know how much I loved them too, and I'm still haunted by their faces, by all these moments of happiness spent together in Valinor.
I will spend my whole life blaming myself, fighting against the curse of my family, and today I have taken another step towards halting this curse, but I do not regret anything. Fingolfin will unite us, I know. But you, my love, you are the one who soothes hearts, you have that power I know it! I need you today, and your father too, more than ever! Because my brothers already disapprove of me and Turgon I know will hate us until the end of Arda.
You must help us unite, you who received Nienna's teachings, you whose magic permeates the soul and body, you must find deep within yourself the strength to forgive and let Nienna's power do its work through you, stop fighting against her. Because if I am sure about only one thing in this world, it is that empathy, endurance in hope and patience will save this world from all dangers until its end.”
She did not answer him, her eyes shone in the light of fire and a tear fell on her cheek, Maedhros wiped it and remembered the taste of Nyéni's tears on his mouth when he was bedridden. He was taken by emotion and taking her pale face in his hands, he kissed her tenderly and she did not refuse his kiss, but said nothing and watched him leave. The Russandol's hand that withdrew from her cheek made her feel an immense and pure pain, and she touched her lips by closing her eyes to remember this kiss before resting.
Chapter XXVII
Thus, Maedhros lived for some time in his uncle's country before returning to his people with his brothers and as he perceived, during a council to establish a strategy against the enemy, Caranthir made it felt that he considered Fingolfin as a usurper and showed his brother his dissatisfaction with him.
Nyéni remained behind, out of the exchanges, because she was not sure for the moment that her interventions during tensions such as here would not make things worse.
But for the time no battle was foreseen and Maedhros returned to his country when he was strong enough. There he noticed that those of the people of Fingolfin took up a lot of the land and that tensions between them would soon start again. Thus, he decided to move his people further north and to build his fortress of Himring. Thus, the vast Hithlum belonged to Fingolfin and his own.
Troops were formed between Fingolfinians and Fëanorians, sometimes to spy on the enemy, sometimes to hunt his creatures, and in this, one could consider that there was an almost professional link between them but this was not the case. Fingon and Maedhros personally ensured that their expeditions together were done in peace and joy.
Nyéni did not participate in the expeditions with the Fëanorians for a very long time, she was too bitter and her resentment was still strong, so she did not meet any of Fëanor's sons for years, intelligently dodging each of the potential encounters.
It was during this time that she felt a little lonely because Turgon often left in a very secret way with Finrod and was often gone for a long time. She suspected that he could not tolerate the reconciliation between their father and Fëanor's clan but she hoped that he would stay with her, which he did not do.
So in Hithlum it turned out that she had no one to talk to about her pain, because neither Aredhel nor Fingon had resentments towards their cousins and they were always trying to get Nyéni to be more lenient. She again began to go hunting alone or with her trained soldiers in search of Amras in vain.
One day, at her father's order, she was urged to go to a party organized by Maedhros to celebrate the end of the construction of Himring, and there she found Amras who was staying for awhile with his brothers in the greatest resentment. In him, she finally recognised her own pain.
In contact with her surviving Ambarussa, she softened and Nienna finally could impregnate her heart and soul to take a part of her pain from the Helcaraxë. She came to forgive Istandur and Fëanor's sons and recommended Amras to do the same.
The latter had great difficulty overcoming his brother's death and on the second day of the celebration, after having already taken a step of reconciliation towards Istandur, he argued with Maedhros and all began to fear that he would once again leave for his wanderings.
Nyéni showed gentleness towards Maedhros: she left the magnificent roses she was smelling and contemplating and passed near him after the argument, she caressed his cheek before continuing on her way to Amras. Istandur consoled his Lord, saying that Nyéni had a plan and that in any case, she would do the best for Amras.
She caught up with Amras who was trying to leave the city and hugged him, whispering "everything is fine" and "I'm here". He was comforted and it seemed to him that Nyéni finally looked like what she had been in Valinor again, he agreed to follow her and she took him to the kitchen where everything was calm because the time of the feast was still far away.
He sat there in front of her, wondering why she was in the kitchen, and she began to cook for him. She prepared a meat cooked in fat with herbs and she made an Elven golden bread roasted in the fat, then added honey before serving it. The dish was so comforting that Amras smiled the same way he used to do as a child when Nyéni prepared snacks for their outings in the meadows of Valinor. She stroked his hair and stayed by his side until he finished eating. The food, in addition to being excellently tasted, had been really comforting for him and after eating he was more inclined to talk to Nyéni:
"I don't want to stay here, I can't. I tried but I can't stay with my brothers while Amrod is dead. It's not possible Nyéni, I'll never make it, I have to go. I'll go where the wind takes me and if I have the strength I'll come back to see my brothers just for visiting."
"It's unimaginable for me to let you wander again, you need to also accept that. I will not suffer from losing you again nor will I suffer from hearing that death was your destiny.”
“But I cannot stay with them, where I will die of grief.”
“Then come with me.”
The eyes of the two began to sparkle, Amras did not understand Nyéni's request and the latter had not thought about it or asked Fingon for permission to do this, but she did what was best for Amras, and it seemed to her the best option.
"What? Coming with you where?”
"In Hithlum, none of your brothers live there and you will stay with me, we will be together. I will help you feel better, we will have a whole bunch of adventures together, and wandering and death will no longer be your destiny."
"Hmm... I imagine it would be nice to live with you in Hithlum and be at peace for a while, and safe. I could accept it, but I need you to certify something for me..."
“Anything you want.”
“Are you sure?”
"Yes! Tell me now!”
“Are you also going to make me cakes?”
She laughed and he laughed with her, of course he would have a whole bunch of cakes. She hugged him and poured a tear on his shoulder and they both came out hand in hand laughing.
Maedhros was still outside with Istandur and he saw this show with enchantment and happiness but he wondered what she could have said. She did not join them yet, she had to talk to Fingon about Amras' arrival in their country, he was also outside and of course he nodded and was happy to know that Amras' condition would improve.
Chapter XXVIII
Amras was grateful to his cousin for his acceptance without thinking and the latter left because he was expected. Nyéni told Amras that he had to tell Maedhros now, but Amras did not dare, he was afraid that the latter would refuse or resent him. Thus, Nyéni came with him to find Maedhros and the latter was worried because Amras did not hold his gaze:
"You still decided to leave, right?"
Nyéni stopped Maedhros' fears:
"There will be no wandering for Amras, he will leave with me after the party. He comes to live in Hithlum as Prince of the house of Finwë, he will be received with honors and will remain with us.”
Istandur was dismayed, he seemed very happy, even if the only thing that would have really filled him would have been to be able to serve Amras too. Maedhros, looking at Nyéni with eyes full of tears, was grateful. He did not want to see his brother leave, but he trusted no one but Nyéni to ensure his safety, happiness and healing. He hugged his little brother, giving him his approval and he held Nyéni in his arms, kissing her pointed ear and thanking her a thousand times for the grace she offered to his house.
Istandur looked down when he saw Nyéni in the arms of his Lord and when they separated, Nyéni felt that Istandur was embarrassed. She took his hand and lowered his face to be able to see his eyes, she smiled at him and left with Amras who greatly wanted to start preparing his things.
Maedhros, of course, went to warn his brothers and Maglor followed him to go see Amras and Nyéni and help him prepare to leave, happy to see him already revived again. Nyéni was sitting on the edge of Amras' bed listening to him talking with Maedhros when Maglor considered the situation a miracle, he approached Nyéni and put his hand on her shoulder, they exchanged a look of joy and hope then continued to watch the two red heads having fun together.
At the feast in the evening, the good news was announced to everyone, and everyone was more than happy, even Caranthir approved of this choice and rejoiced for his little brother. The next day, a hunt was organised, because Aredhel wanted this for their last day and to this hunt joined; Celegorm, Curufin, Fingon, Nyéni, Istandur and Maglor. The day was good and happy, many laughs were exchanged and hearts began to tighten thinking that it was their last day together.
On returning, everyone stopped in the main courtyard to take care of the horses, when out of nowhere Caranthir came screaming after Istandur, accusing him of having been lunching while his Lords needed him here. In the distance, Amras and Maedhros heard this and tried to join the court but they were not fast enough, Caranthir threw himself on Istandur and hit him violently.
Nyéni, crazy with rage, rushed at him and held one of his blows. He wanted to hit her, taking her intervention as a challenge but she dodged and slapped her opponent before Maedhros arrived to hold his brother. Then Nyéni helped Istandur to get up, he was bleeding but did not complain of course. Maedhros was confused, he did not understand what was happening, but Nyéni was furious:
“Is this how the Princes of the house of Fëanor treat their most faithful servants? Shame on your whole country for that. The party is over, we're leaving.”
And Fingon did not oppose this, deeply shocked by the scene he had just witnessed. Amras therefore followed Nyéni and the goodbyes were bitter. For this Maedhros was very angry with Caranthir and reprimanded him for a long time, Maglor healed Istandur who resented himself very much and felt responsible for the situation, although all blamed only Caranthir.
The path went smoothly to Hithlum and Fingolfin was surprised to see Amras. The latter feared that his uncle was not as lenient as Fingon, but he was wrong because when he got off his horse, Fingoflin rushed to take his nephew in his arms and thanked Ilúvatar for keeping him alive. Amras was baffled and did not know what to say, his uncle stepped back while holding him by the arms and asked him if he was here visiting. Nyéni seeing the silence of Amras, answered for him:
“No, father, he's coming to live with us.”
Fingolfin was happy to learn this and gave a great welcome to his nephew and there he was treated as one of his children. Amras had no words to express his gratitude, he was simply very happy to have listened to Nyéni and followed her. Finally he could have peaceful time with his family without constantly suffering and his brothers often visited him, and he also visited them.
Any hunt organised between cousins was not without the presence of Amras who seemed to have finally found the perfect balance to be happy and Maedhros saw this and rejoiced. During a hunt, he went to find Nyéni on the edge of a river that was cooling and told her:
"I could never thank you enough for what you did for Amras, I knew that with you he would be happy, that you would do everything possible for that, I never doubted it. You saved my brother's life when all I did was take away what you loved."
"You didn't do anything like that, your father did it. And you try every day to repair his mistake, this does not make you an accomplice in repentance, but a man of honor who tries to repair the injustices of the world. I know that, too often I have held you responsible for your father's actions, I apologise for that, I was wrong, blinded by my grief and rage."
"There is nothing to forgive, and you should never have to apologise for anything," he said, placing his hands on Nyéni's hips, his forehead on hers, nose against nose. “I miss you.” he added.
“I miss you too, every day.”
“Why don't you come with me to Himring, you would be my Lady.”
"I am held by the honor of serving my father the King, and I promised to take Amras where he would be happy, I promised to stay by his side and watch over him, I am not one of those who break their promises."
"Will there come a day, an hour, a time when it will finally be the right moment for us to have our chance?"
"Certainly, if the past has not separated us, then nothing can, our time will come."
There, by the river, they exchanged a sincere kiss, full of hope, promises, loyalty and love. Maedhros could not stand not being able to have Nyéni by his side and he began to spend a lot of time in Hithlum, consulting with his uncle, spending time with Fingon and Amras, but above all, he did not want to stay too long away from the one he loved and since she would not go where she could not serve her King, nor keep her promise to Amras, then he would take the step that would bring him closer to her.
This step was happy for everyone and together Nyéni, Fingon and Maedhros covered themselves with glory because they were a formidable trio to fight, nothing stood in their path and their union gave hope to all the Noldor.
Chapter XXIX
The time soon came for war, because in his impatience, Morgoth deployed his forces on the Noldor and this battle was called; the Dagor Aglareb. Morgoth thought the Noldor were not well prepared, but they were ready and when Angband was empty, they made a common front and fought gloriously.
Maedhros and his army came with that of Fingolfin and there Nyéni and Fingon joined Maedhros in battle and nothing resisted them but the battle was long, very long and tiredness was felt, but Fingolfin was a King of great majesty and wherever he passed on horseback during the battle, his cries of encouragement gave strength to all the Noldor.
Victory seemed to present itself when suddenly, Morgoth released Glaurung the father of the dragons for the first time. He came from Angband's pits and his powerful fire made many soldiers tremble with fear. While Nyéni and Maedhros were still fighting with the King to protect him, Fingon threw himself on the dragon and Nyéni was afraid, she wanted to join him, but she could not because too many Orcs surrounded her and blocked her passage.
But the time was decidedly not for defeat, because Fingon seriously injured Glaurung and the latter screamed in pain before returning in the dark and hidden pits of his master. Thus nothing anymore stopped the Noldor and the victory was overwhelming, they were so determined to end it that they did not leave the place. There began the siege of Angband which lasted for centuries and Morgoth withdrew his forces and began to fortify them again, hating the Noldor even more.
Times of joy came then, the Noldor celebrated their deeds and a vigilant peace was gradually established. Slowly, the Noldor forgot the danger and started believing in the end of the great war. Amras spent a lot of time with his brothers during the siege, but he always stayed with Nyéni if she had to leave. One day, they went on an expedition together, because Fingolfin did not wait long after the battle to try to secure other support.
During a council he announced that he wanted to get closer to the Green Elves, in other words: the Laiquendi. For an uncertain reason, Nyéni felt uncomfortable, she was embarrassed and the crowd could feel it but no one said a word. Fingolfin, after a long speech, turned to her to ask her:
"I need you to be our ambassador to the Green Elves. They don't like to mix with others and you more than anyone here are linked to them."
"I have nothing to do with the Laiquendi."
"You will go, and you will bring good news to the Noldor. And if an agreement is formed, you will be praised for it."
“Is this a request or a command?”
“It's a commandment, my daughter.”
"In this case, I will carry out your order, my King."
She replied coldly and bowed to Fingolfin before leaving the crowd to prepare her departure. Amras felt that he would have a role to play in this, so he begged the King to let him accompany Nyéni and the latter accepted.
Nyéni never confessed it but she was happy that he was by her side and it greatly comforted her at a time when she felt unarmed and defenseless. The next day, they started their journey and Maedhros came to meet them to wish them good luck. He offered a hug to his brother before he got on his horse and he went to Nyéni who was finishing preparing her horse for the trip. He put his hand on the animal and spoke to Nyéni softly:
"Your coldness is no longer foreign to me, but you can't hide the truth from me, you're afraid. You are afraid to see those of your people again, afraid of their reaction when they see you and you don't know if you would prefer them to be happy or ignore you. You move towards the unknown, towards something you do not control, you are afraid of suffering again and not being able to do anything about it, because your father gave you an order and you must obey him. Everything will be fine, don't worry, nothing can break you and when you come back, I will be there and I will be ready for each of the emotions you want to release."
He moved his hand on hers on the horse's back and kissed it before helping her get on her horse. Fingolfin came after, regretting having asked Nyéni to do this, when he had long promised not to put her through the horrors she had known in Middle-earth as a child. But Morgoth had declared war on the Noldor and he had to face him powerfully enough to win. He offered a blessing to Nyéni for her trip before trying to make her understand that he felt sorry:
"My daughter, I ask for your forgiveness, I know that I have forsaken all the promises I made to you. If I thought I could do otherwise I would, but I have no other possibility available to me. I know you're mad at me, you always blame me when you answer me coldly that you will do your duty to your King. Get back home quickly, we are already longing for you.”
She didn't say a word, she bowed to her father from the top of her horse, turned her back on him and left with Amras. The journey was silent, although Amras tried to joke and engage in conversations, he felt that Nyéni was terrified as she advanced. She was generally gifted in the art of convincing people to embrace her cause, her purity and her sense of honor guiding people to the path of bravery and courage. But here it was different, she began to fear that she could not even convince a child to accept a meal she would have made for him, this mission was too important, she should not fail.
Nyéni's heart tightened when she arrived and she stopped her horse, Amras asked her why she stopped there, because there was no one in the woods, but he did not know the Laiquendi and their ability to blend into the forests. She simply replied:
“We have arrived.”
Chapter XXX
With a face heavy in pain and breathless, she looked at Amras and remembered that it was also for his survival and the survival of Maedhros and Fingon as well as all those she loved that she was here to negotiate. So she announced herself:
"My name is Nyéni, I was born Laiquendi, Denethor was my Lord until his death after which my family and a few other Laiquendi fled to the West in search of a less hostile land. My parents' names were Laivaraitiel and Hothongil, I did not come here with bad intentions and only wish to be heard."
And under the amazed gaze of Amras, the Laiquendi came out of their hiding places and presented themselves, lowering their bows, unable to believe what they had just heard. Nyéni was disturbed to see that they considered her with surprise and terror, because she thought that no one had known her family and that perhaps they would not believe in her story. Yet, this was not what surprised her the most, because while she did not want to leave the back of her horse, already wishing to flee, the Laiquendi began to whisper, before one of them came forward saying:
“Nyéni, daughter of Hothongil.”
Then he bent his knee in front of her, and the others did the same. Nyéni was stressed and stepped back with her horse. The Laiquendi kindly asked her to follow them and receive their hospitality, comfort and rest. She could not turn around so got off her horse and followed them with Amras. They invited them to share a fire and a meal with them and they accepted, Nyéni remaining silent for a while, was embarrassed at the way they looked at her and their whispers. Then abruptly, she cut short the silence:
“Do you know me? Why do you welcome me so much and what do you whisper to each other? Everyone knows that the Laiquendi are not quick to let themselves be discovered or welcome foreigners by their side.”
"You are not a stranger, you are Nyéni, daughter of Hothongil, last Lord of the Laiquendi and you are the only survivor of the massacre of the coasts."
She was confused, it was as if for the Laiquendi the rest was obvious but she did not understand, Amras gently turned his head towards her because he immediately understood and looked at her considering all the times his father had said that she was nothing and that she came from a family of low extraction. He was wrong, she was as high as he was:
"We did not appoint anyone Lord of the Laiquendi after the death of your father... This makes you the Lady of the Laiquendi, our legitimate sovereign.”
Nyéni dropped her food, looked at Amras and all those around her, looking for who would confess to her that all this was actually a vast farce but it did not come. She sighed in amazement before getting up and going into the woods in search of calm and a quiet place where she could think.
Amras followed her and found her sobbing, trembling, she was having a panic attack, she got up and tried to calm down in vain. Amras squeezed her in his arms by force and told her that it was not the time for the only Princess Noldor and Sovereign of the Laiquendi to cry. Hearing this, her eyes widened, she could only think that it was not what she had desired!
It had already been too hard to come and find them to ask them to make an alliance. She did not want to feel all these emotions, she wanted to get rid of them, she wanted to leave but Amras held her powerfully and opposed her departure:
"No! You will not abandon the mission entrusted to you and you will not break the joy of the Laiquendi today. We're going to do what we came for.”
She accepted but she could not start the exchanges the same day, so she went back to see them and asked them to tell her where she could rest until the next day. Only the next morning, after a night without sleep, her eyes open staring at the stars and remembering the child she was, she returned to them. They wanted to offer her something to eat but she refused, she showed politeness and more gentleness:
"I apologise for my behavior, I was not grateful for your welcome and hospitality. But I did not know that my name was still known to the Laiquendi and although I knew that my father was Lord, I never made the connection with the fact that I was his only child and therefore, the heir to his title.
I was just surprised and panicked because this was not the purpose of my visit at all and my last memories with those of my people are bloody and painful. Following the massacre you were talking about yesterday, I was taken by Uinen to Valinor and there I was adopted by Fingolfin, today King of the Noldor. He always applied himself to treating me as if I were of his blood and did everything in his power to make me happy and I am loyal to him, I do not want to reign over land, nor govern anyone.
My only wish is to destroy the enemy Morgoth who murdered King Finwë, the same one who is the cause of the death of Denethor, my father and my mother, the same one who stole so many of ours from us. But the Noldor cannot win the war alone and the Sindar are hostile to us. So, our hope turns to those of the Laiquendi because we greatly need your bows and your knowledge. It is not a question of submission, but of an alliance between two distinct and yet similar peoples. If you don't do it for you, do it for me, let me unite our peoples because who else can claim to be Noldo and Laiquendë?”
The Elves were moved but could not make decisions too quickly, messengers were quickly sent out, they were worried about their survival, but they were proud and did not want to be one of those who hide while others fight. Nyéni stayed with them all day, listening to them tell Amras stories about Hothongil and his wife and even Nyéni learned things that day.
The night passed without them noticing and in the early morning a decision had been reached : the Laiquendi had consented to an alliance.
Then one of the Laiquendi spoke but joy and nostalgia turned into horror in Nyéni's mind. Because while everyone was walking towards the Noldor horses, a Green Elf told:
"We were separated from them, they were in the West of Beleriand and we were in the East but we communicated a lot. I remember the day your mother wrote to us, she caused one of the greatest happiness of the Laiquendi people. She told us that she was pregnant and expecting a new child to be born and she was convinced that it was a boy, saying that she..."
Nyéni interrupted him:
"What did you say? My mother was expecting a child?!”
"Yes, my Lady, your mother was already more than half of her pregnancy when they were decimated by the wargs..."
"It's a mistake, I would remember that… If she had been pregnant, I would remember it!"
"My Lady... She was... We came from the East to build a mound above their bodies... I saw the child's body..."
"How?"
"My Lady, I don't think you should hear that..."
“I asked you; how?”
"Your mother was lying on the floor, her belly half torn and the baby was visible because he had been mutilated at the same time as your mother's belly..."
She couldn't stand it anymore, she put her hand on the mouth of the talking Elf and she put her forehead on her hand and cried. No one dared to say anything and the ten minutes passed like this before she raised her head and said:
“King Fingolfin will invite you to establish a strategy as soon as possible.”
She got on her horse and galloped, her horse felt her distress and ran at high speed, Amras struggled to follow and no one stopped before arriving in Hithlum. There she asked Amras to entrust the message of the Laiquendi to Fingolfin and asked him to let him know that she needed rest and that she did not want any visit. The King himself would not be allowed to go to her rooms.
Amras was sad, he would have liked to have the power to console her as she had done for him. At least, he chose to obey her and rushed to find the King. Nyéni left to go to her rooms and finally freed from all pressure, the story that the Laiquendi told her resurfaced in her mind and the pain and horror of this story were so great that Nyéni suddenly vomited and cried for hours, alone in her rooms.
Amras found the King, he was accompanied by Maedhros and Fingon, seeing his worried face, everyone understood that the news was not going to be as good as one might have hoped. Amras told the story of their arrival, and he told them that Nyéni was in fact the legitimate sovereign of all the Laiquendi. Maedhros looked at the ground, thinking of his father and all the times he had treated Nyéni as a servant, all the times he had said that she was not from Valinor and that she was not even noble, when he had in front of him the legitimate sovereign of the Nandor.
Fingolfin, as well as Fingon, had a hard time understanding, Amras quickly told the whole story and they were seized by the details concerning Nyéni's little brother, not even born and already mutilated in his mother's womb. They lamented, understanding the suffering it must have inflicted on Nyéni, and Fingolfin blamed himself for imposing this on her, he wanted to go find the healers to get Nyéni everything she could have needed but Amras stopped him on his way:
"That's not all, my King, the Laiquendi have consented to an alliance and will gather nearby and settle in the nearest woods to the south of here. They will fight by your side for Nyéni and only ask that the forest where they will settle is no longer a hunting forest for us. You have got the agreement you wanted, Lord.”
“But at what price?”
He said softly without even turning around, then he continued on his way full of remorse but as expected, no one was allowed to go see Nyéni until she decided to go out. And when she came out, Maedhros saw her and tried to talk to her but she refused, she replied that she was going to hunt and wanted to be alone. She did not return until three weeks later.
She remained silent about the events that had taken place with the Laiquendi, however no one now saw her as the Nando adopted by Fingolfin, she was considered of a rank much higher than those of an adopted princess. She was considered a leader and she was aware of it but it would not change her mission. She was the daughter of Fingolfin and his ward and she would serve her King until death took her.
Chapter XXXI
Fingolfin decided to celebrate the great peace that then seemed to reign and he wanted to have a big party where all the Elves would be gathered, so he ordered messengers to have the Sindar and the Laiquendi invited to the party.
All the Noldor participated in the organisation, a very large tent and several secondary tents were made, some took care of cutting wood to make the stakes that would hold the large canvas of the tent and those of the smaller tents, others took care of food, hunting, picking, cooking and ensuring that everyone had something to eat, and they were also responsible for ensuring that everyone had something to drink. The logistics were provided by Maedhros' brothers and their men and Finrod came with his people and many instruments, and those of his people were going to organize a musical show.
Aredhel and Turgon were in charge of organising games and installing everything for this purpose while Fingon was one of those who, with his men, set up all possible tents so that the Elves, if they wished, could rest. Idril absolutely wanted to decorate the place so she was in charge of this and she was helped by Galadriel, who had left Melian to join the party and see her family. For the time being she said nothing about Melian and Thingol's desires to attend this party with their people.
Nyéni was one of those who hunted because she was more skilled than anyone with a bow, even Aredhel was not as gifted, perhaps one of the Laiquendi qualities she had been gifted with. She and her team were among those who brought back the most animals and as they were ahead, they prepared the animals themselves so that those who cooked were well advanced.
Everything seemed perfect, the Laiquendi arrived after the last Noldor and Fingolfin gave them a great welcome saying that they were family and that in his heart they were only one. Nyéni pretended not to have seen the Laiquendi arrive and she walked away, knowing full well that she could not avoid them forever.
Amras hugged them, he was happy to see them again and later when Nyéni returned, she silently greeted the Laiquendi people who bowed to her in public, generating a painful silence that was only broken by the arrival of two Sindar who came to join the party on behalf of Thingol. With them they carried a courteous message from their King, barely concealing his hatred for the Noldor. Maedhros laughed at them but Fingolfin welcomed them although he felt insulted.
The party finally began and everything was perfect, Idril's decorations were harmonious and resplendent, the sun was shining and the wind slightly fresh, carrying the smell of the flowers that surrounded them but also that of the food that was cooking. Finrod and his people began to play music and the Laiquendi began to sing, provoking the admiration of all. One of them, a little boy, held out his hand to Nyéni to ask her to come and she did not have the heart to refuse him this.
For the first time, she was softened by those of her people of yesteryear, she advanced in her splendid blue and silver outfit in the middle of the Laiquendi, all in green, and she began a theme of great beauty. And when she sang the magic woke in the hearts of all those who did her the honor of listening and her song was filled with melancholy, pain and hope and all were moved. The Laiquendi who heard her sing for the first time were breathless, their songs became muted - an echo of that of Nyéni’s.
Finrod tuned his music to the song of Nyéni and soon, the purity of her voice, her soul and her heart invaded the place and her friend Istandur who stood not far away, remembered the first time he heard Nyéni sing and he wondered when her songs had become more and more beautiful.
Then he was struck with pain, as were all the Fëanorions, when the song of Nyéni started relating the grief generated by the death of Amrod and at the end of the song, when she stopped singing, a silence descended that nothing could break before Nyéni, not even the song of distant birds. So Nyéni let go of the little boy's hand and returned to the crowd and only at that moment did the silence dare to break.
The feast was joyful and the Laiquendi eventually befriended the Noldor, especially with those of Finrod’s house because they had a lot in common. Even the Sindar managed to have fun at the party, also in the company of Finrod and Galadriel. Nyéni stayed with Maglor whom she had missed a lot and Maedhros took advantage of this moment when Nyéni was not with her people to talk to his uncle Fingolfin:
“Uncle, what a success, you have admirably organised this party and everyone will remember it for a long time. I know you're very busy tonight, but would you give me a few moments?” asked Maedhros to Fingolfin.
"Of course, Maedhros, but I intended to be alone with my thoughts outside and sit amongst the flowers to remember my first meeting with my wife. So if you want to talk to me, you'll have to follow me outside."
Maedhros was not unhappy to get out of the main tent and get some fresh air, and it suited him that no Elf could watch his words, so they went to settle further and Maedhros spoke with his heart to his uncle:
"You never asked me about my relationship with Nyéni, and as far as I know, you never talked about it with her either. Everything leads me to believe that you approve but I can't be sure.”
"I don't get involved in my children's stories, but I will never disapprove of my children's happiness. I approve of your love, and I will defend it if I have to.”
“I'm glad to hear that. I had wondered why you kept Nyéni with you, refusing her departure for another country, like mine for example."
"No, I never asked my children to stay by my side, look at Turgon, he is free to do what he wants. If Nyéni wanted to leave me I would regret it but I will be happy to know she is with those she chose to share her life with."
"What if I wanted to marry her, make her the Lady of Himring?"
"So I will be a proud father to see his daughter in a beautiful dress on her wedding day and I would offer her a beautiful gift so that she remembers that her father loves her."
"So the fact that she refuses to leave does not come from you in any way, it is her, who chooses to remain faithful to her King. She chooses honour over love.”
"I have no control over Nyéni's decisions, if I could I would tell her to follow you and be happy with you. Do you think I never thought of your wedding day? The day she has a child and makes me a grandfather again? Do you think I didn't imagine a hundred times the little face of the child you could have together?"
"Well... It seems that you will imagine it for a long time, my uncle, because I believe she will never leave you."
"You are always welcome in Hithlum and with us, you can stay as long as you want."
"I already stay a lot in your country, I must be more present for mine, for my country. Soon I will have no choice but to stop the long visits to see Nyéni.”
“Your love will persist when the world is swallowed up by destiny.”
Both stayed there for a while before going back to the party to enjoy the festivities. The next day was quieter, everyone played games and made music, many simply remained lying in the flowers enjoying the sun. Some walked further and went to play in the river and there were some who talked about strategy, because although peace was a must, some worried that it would not last.
Chapter XXXII
They were right, because soon the beautiful party was out of everyone's memories and while Fingolfin had tried to gather a larger army, while many settled on the idea that things would stay that way, Morgoth was ready to attack again, after nearly 400 years of retreat and preparation.
And what was to happen happened, Morgoth released a torrent of flames from the Thangorodrim and the Ard-galen was completely consumed. Already, the lamentations of the Noldor began again, but it was nothing: nothing compared to the disaster that this battle was going to generate.
Nyéni alerted by the screams put on her armor and went to battle, she found Fingolfin panicked and without any plan, Fingon doing his best to fight but Dragons and Balrogs came in force on them and left them little chance. Nyéni crossed the battlefield to find Fingolfin and protect him, he was on horseback and she was not, he called for his daughter to withdraw from his presence because she was running to her death trying to protect him. She refused, she stayed there and suffered her wounds with honour without ever leaving her King.
It was during this battle that Men came to the aid of the Elves, unfortunately they suffered great losses, alongside the Noldor who lost both Aegnor and Angrod in the battle. The Noldor hearts rose with pain and rage as the battle pushed them to retreat and the siege was soon undone. Nyéni cried out, cutting her enemies in half and she screamed at death and ruin and she was covered with her blood and that of the Orcs who fought around the King.
Fingolfin considered the situation, and seeing that everything was going to be lost, that the Noldor were going to be destroyed, he galloped his horse away, jumping over Nyéni who wanted to follow him but who was surrounded by Orcs, to go challenge Morgoth and save his people.
There alone she fought and for a moment, she considered that the hour of her death had come and she looked at the black sky of smoke and was heartbroken to see her King driven further away from her, she raised her sword again, determined to drag as many Orcs as possible to death before dying herself.
But heroically, Maedhros and Fingon turned to her and the three of them faced the Orcs and reduced them to nothing, they nevertheless had to retreat again and again and give ground to the enemy. Finrod who came later was also repelled and he would have died if Barahir had not saved him and Finrod gave his ring to Barahir and swore to be friends with those of his lineage forever.
The March of Maedhros was successfully defended nevertheless but Celegorm and Curufin had to flee and they found Finrod in Nargothrond. Caranthir saw his fortress captured and was furious but he nevertheless continued to fight until he left for the South with Amras who finally was separated from Nyéni.
The Laiquendi, whose losses were already great, suffered another great loss and while Maglor was defending Himring with the help of Maedhros, who joined him there with Nyéni and Fingon, Fingolfin had continued on his own way - and his road led him to Angband.
The Orcs fled before the silhouette of Fingolfin's horse and when the latter arrived, in his rage and grief, he imposed a duel on Morgoth, insulting him of being a coward in front of his servants who were afraid to hear Fingolfin. But Morgoth could not refuse this challenge without losing credibility before his subjects, so reluctantly he accepted and passed the gates of Angband in majesty and he fought Fingolfin.
The King of the Noldor inflicted many wounds on him and fought with honour, courage and strength and his majesty was undisputed. But he was already weakened by the battle that was later called the Dargor Bragollac and Morgoth hardly suffered from the battle, having tarnished his throne with his absence in combat. Finally Morgoth knocked down Fingolfin and put his foot on him, and the King in a last moment of life wounded Morgoth again by planting his sword in his foot, making him lame permanently.
Enraged, Morgoth wanted to crush his enemy on the ground and feed his body to the wargs, but Thorondor descended from heaven in majestic power and disfigured Morgoth; he took the King's body far away, reliquishing Fingolfin's body to Turgon in his hidden country, Gondolin, and there he raised a mound above his father.
Fingolfin's horse, Rochallor, fled south until he found Nyéni and Fingon who had gone to Hithlum accompanied by Maedhros, not yet knowing Fingolfins fate. Nyéni saw Rochallor approaching but he was alone, she ran to the gates of the fortress and as Rochellor entered he fell to the ground in front of Nyeni brockenhearted and died. Nyéni fell on her knees in front of the beast and screamed out her grief, scaring away each of the birds in hundreds of places.
Fingon and Maedhros ran to join her and Fingon cried, understanding that his father the King was dead and after a while he left the city, decided to abandon everything and Nyéni feared that he would do like his father and throw himself on the enemy so she followed him and Maedhros did the same. She managed to stop him and Maedhros spoke:
“Terrible were our losses during this battle. And the Noldor lost their King but not their cause. We are all here because we decided to end the tyranny of Morgoth. It was the greatest wish of Fingolfin, High King of the Noldor. Accomplishing this task is your legacy, it is our heritage to all. Fingon, my cousin, my lifelong friend, here you are legitimately our King, you must survive so that great deeds can one day be fulfilled."
Nyéni heard Maedhros' words and she saw hope in it, she had lost her King but was now ready to serve her new King, her brother. She stepped back, bent her knee, put her sword in front of Fingon and swore:
"I Nyéni, legitimate sovereign of the Laiquendi, daughter and ward of Fingolfin, swear to serve you, my King. I will protect you, I will obey your orders, I will cover your back, I will follow you wherever you go, I will go wherever you ask me without ever failing in my mission. I will never fail you or give you reasons to reject my services until death takes me.”
Maedhros was shot down, she had just sworn allegiances to Fingon and promised to serve him until death and was therefore not yet going to follow him to Himring, or become his Lady. They returned together to Hithlum but in front of the doors Maedhros stopped Nyéni:
"I would not follow you all my life in this servitude that you impose on yourself. You could have bowed to Fingon, left with me and lived happily in Himring. Why do you impose servitude like this? Your place is with me.”
But grief overwhelmed Nyéni, and she would not consider leaving her family, abandoning her brother when Turgon and Aredhel were hiding somewhere. She answered with a heavy heart:
"My place is with my brother. I will never give up on him.”
Maedhros was angry, for the first time, despite his understanding of Nyéni's pain, he was angry with her and he left, getting on his horse and returning to Himring without a look back, without a goodbye, without a word. Nyéni was heartbroken but she understood his anger and did nothing to keep him by her side.
Chapter XXXIII
She stayed with Fingon and did not see Maedhros again for a long time, in truth, she dodged his visits because again she had changed, the mourning of her father and King was insurmountable and she only clung to her brother to hold on. She became tired of good things, and time passed without her having joy in anything, but for Fingon she often visited Dor-lómin and Húrin the Lord of these lands and they exchanged news.
Fingon loved Húrin very much and knew him a man of honour, he also knew that Húrin knew of Gondolin's position but he never asked him to reveal this secret, greatly appreciating Húrin’s loyalty. Nyéni also liked to spend time in the presence of Morwen, she appreciated her comforting coldness and when Lalaith died, she came and sang by the river a song of immense mourning and the little girl's family was grateful.
Túrin then looked at Nyéni and for the first time he considered someone to be colder than his mother could be and he had the impression of looking into the eyes of a deity and her singing seemed to come from elsewhere. Nyéni felt Túrin's gaze and turned to him and when she looked into his eyes, she felt that his destiny would be the darkest and would cause harm to the Elves.
When Nyeni returned to Fingon he was waiting for her as he too was in mourning out of respect for Húrin's house. He asked her to ride with him as he wanted to know if Húrin's house needed anything, she replied:
“They don't need anything. Nevertheless, as King and ally, you should send them a present. I believe that one of our horses would be able to show our respect and they would probably appreciate this gesture much more than something trivial and uninteresting.”
He thanked her for her valuable advice, because Nyéni had spent a lot of time playing this role for their father and she was of great help to him in many areas.
It was not written that the Noldor would benefit from any respite, because the time was again for war, the North of the Beleriand had become uncontrollable after almost two decades and only the kingdoms of Hithlum, Nargothrond and Gondolin were still powerful among the Noldor and there all found refuge.
Maedhros, encouraged by the exploits of Beren and Lúthien, thought that Morgoth was not so untouchable and the call of their father's oath resounded again in his heart. Thus, he created the Union of Maedhros, wanting to reduce Morgoth to nothing before he attacked again as he did during the previous great battle.
This union was to be joined by all the Elves, all the Men and all the Dwarves, and even Turgon came in secret from his hidden kingdom to fight alongside his brother the King. Orodreth refused to join the Union of Maehdros because of the actions of Celegorm and Curufin, but despite everything, a small troop left from Nargothrond to fight. From Doriath only Mablung and Beleg came to battle because Thingol still hated the Noldor.
Maedhros’ initial plan was to try to liberate a large part of the country, he was followed by Ulfang, one of the Chiefs of the Easterlings, but the latter was a traitor who gave all Maedhros’ plans to Morgoth so that he would know the secrets of the Union.
When the war began, and with the intentions of Maedhros being known to Morgoth, things became complicated for the Elves, as the battle raged Fingon joined the fight with his army rushing straight on the enemies of Maedhros. Nyéni, from the top of her horse, fought with a rage in her stomach but soon their numbers dwindled, then hope unlooked for came to change the tide of battle when Turgon arrived and sounded his trumpets!
“Utulie'n aurë! Aiya Eldalië ar Atanatarni, utulie'n aurë! And Auta i lomë” said Fingon! The hope was theirs, the victory too and the happiness of seeing Turgon was so great and unexpected for Nyéni and Fingon that they broke the guard of Orcs who separated them to be able to meet, from the top of their horses, Nyéni and Turgon embraced each other in the middle of the battle and their reunion was happy, Turgon said to his sister:
“After the battle, I'll take you to Gondolin and you'll stay there for a while, we can tell each other our stories!”
This did not happen however, the people of Nargothrond fought fiercely until they pushed the doors of Angband and they never appeared again, Ulfang in turn betrayed the Union and made the Men and Elves crazy with rage who destroyed them fiercely but the losses were great because of them. Turgon found himself surrounded and was only saved by Húrin who fought with such determination that he allowed Turgon to withdraw with his Men to Gondolin. Yet, this had a price, Húrin was caught alive and dragged in front of Morgoth to know Gondolin's position.
When Nyéni realised that Turgon was no longer there, she rallied to Fingon but had to move away from him at his order to lend a strong hand to Maedhros' brothers, especially Maglor because Istandur became uncontrollable and began to kill their allies. Maglor tried to stop him but had trouble, so Nyéni went to lend him a hand.
She then regretted having left Fingon because the Balrogs trapped him, one keeping him motionless while Gothmog came to him, Nyéni ran in his direction to save him but it was too late, there before her eyes, begging the universe not to kill her brother, she saw Gothmog cut his body in two and she let out such a moan of pain that it alerted Maedhros.
He looked for her with his eyes until he found her and then looked in the same direction as her, there he saw Fingon's body lying on the ground and he also ran in her direction. Nyéni killed the Balrog who had held Fingon down, preventing him from defending himself while Gothmog left. Nyéni could not get up from her brother's broken body, she stayed there with him, stained with his blood and she cried over his body, until even her hair was no longer silver but blood red. Maedhros and Maglor remained with her and Fingon's body until the end of the battle and with them Istandur, they protected the King's body and also the life of Nyéni who no longer wanted to fight even to survive.
At the end of the battle, the losses were so great that the atmosphere became heavy and for miles nothing was heard but the crackling of fires and the countless tears of those whose mourning was greater than ever before. Nyéni couldn't walk, she couldn't let go of Fingon, she held his broken body to the ground and refused to be touched.
She was thinking of his son, Gil-galad, whom they had both taken care to shelter in case of defeat of the Noldor. But soon, all had to sort their dead to separate them from the enemies, and they had to give them a proper burial, despite the amount of losses. Then Maedhros spoke to Nyeni:
"My love, you have to withdraw, you have to let go of Fingon, we will prepare him so that he is presentable for his burial. You should clean all this blood from you and rest now, we will call you when the time comes so that you can say goodbye to your brother."
“I want to be there when he is prepared for his final home.”
She got up from Fingon's body and cried painfully but silently, she struggled to walk, but she advanced to a camp near the river. There she took a new outfit because hers was too soaked in blood and she went to clean herself to the river. Long after, she had still not returned and was missing, no one found her.
Maedhros worried and asked Istandur to find Nyéni because he could not abandon Fingon and Istandur obeyed his Lord on the field and went galloping off on his horse in the direction Nyéni had taken. The night passed and before dawn finally, he found her, recognising her silver hair under the weak light of the stars, she was stretched out on the ground in the forest, unconscious.
She was not injured, but it seemed to Istandur that her pain was so great that her body had not gotten over it and abandoned her. He sang a healing song with such fervor, he who adored Nyéni, that she opened her eyes and whispered something inaudible. He carried her at full speed to Maedhros and there she rested all day, the next day she was strong enough to participate in the task that overwhelmed the Noldor; sort the bodies, raise a mound and take care of the wounded.
She also went to Fingon and there many people mourned the King, among them, the Laiquendi and all left their place to Nyéni who cried tears of silver on the broken body of her brother and King, and she clung to him, because she felt alone in the world, she did not want to let him go. Everyone was amazed to see her silver tears fall on Fingon's silver plastron, and the pain of the Noldor was all the greater.
Days passed before the survivors finally left and Maedhros organised a fire around which everyone gathered one last time to talk about those they had lost and all fell asleep. Maedhros before falling asleep, confided to Istandur that he was taking Nyéni with him and would go far away, near the sea for some time so that she could benefit from the pure air of the sea and Istandur thought it was a nice idea to try to heal Nyéni's broken heart.
Chapter XXXIV
But the next morning, Nyéni had disappeared, all her things were still there but she was no longer there. Maedhros screamed Nyéni's name across the country hoping that she would return and he very quickly launched a hunt to find her. He feared that she would end her life, he was wrong, although not very far from the truth.
Overwhelmed by grief, Nyeni lost her mind and in her desire to serve her family, she began to search in vain for the land of Gongolin. She wanted to bend her knee before Turgon and serve him in turn, thinking that without this, her existence would stop. In truth, she could not live where hers were not.
Some crossed her path and took fear in front of her, because she looked like a spirit sent to torment the living and Maedhros followed the rumors of those who claimed to have seen her. Many times he missed her, but he never stopped looking for her.
Nyéni cried all over the earth, from north to south, from east to west, at the foot of the mountains, in the caves, in the forests, by the rivers, on the beaches, at the top of the cliffs. Every day she survived was a day of pain, another day with countless tears and she called Turgon with her broken voice, but Gondolin's entrance was never revealed to her. Morgoth was soon alerted by the rumor of the former elven warrior with silver hair who cries all over the world and who is Fingolfin's daughter.
He saw this as an opportunity to hurt the world again and knew that she knew the position of Nargothrond, which at that time had not yet fallen, so he sent Orc hunters to find her and with the aid of their nocturnal flying beasts they found her easily and as she was disarmed. They had no trouble chaining her to drag her to Angband, but in front of the doors of Angband, the spirit of her father came to her and she remembered who she was, her madness left her for a while and there, in front of the throne of Morgoth, she was thrown at his feet. There Morgoth spoke:
"Here, a dog beaten aimlessly and without reason to survive, kneeling before my dark throne. I remember very well the day you found yourself on your knees in a room on my behalf, I remember that you asked me to be forgiven, you were with Nienna, that weak lady. The situation must seem bitter to you now, right? Fortunately, I will greatly improve your condition and in return, I just want to know the location of the kingdom of Finrod Felagund.”
She spat on his wounded foot in response and the blood of the Dark Lord began to boil:
“Vile spoiled Elf! Do you think you can stand up against my will? No one can!”
And he had her beaten near to death on the ground until she could no longer stand with the strength of her arms and legs and he tried to break her mind:
"For all this Nyéni, you can't blame me. You and your mistress Nienna are the artisans of my greatness. Elenwë, Argon, Amrod, Fingolfin, Fingon, and the thousands of others who died, are because a long time ago you made the choice of forgiveness. I killed almost everyone you loved, and soon I would have accomplished my task because Turgon will not always resist me and his wretched sister is already in oblivion and in this too, you are responsible. Fëanor was right, you were a curse sent to destroy them from the inside, congratulations, soon you will have completely succeeded."
Nyéni cried on the ground, because she only then learned that Aredhel was dead, she thought she had a chance to see her again one day. Morgoth's words resounded in her mind and soon she believed them and considered that everything was her fault and that she was a curse for those she loved. An Orc came in and nodded to Morgoth and then he knew he was ready to break her:
“Love is an unreal thing and a punishment for all. I will free you, I will keep you with me and make you my lieutenant in exchange for your help and I promise to make you an insensitive being to pain and love and never again will you have to suffer and shed a single tear. Bend the knee to me and embrace the greatness of truth.”
But Nyéni pulled herself up painfully getting back on her knees to face Morgoth before answering:
"You are wrong, love is everything and those who do not know it are the poisons of our world. I will never agree to give you mine, never will I betray my people and never will I embrace the darkness. Cut my throat, torture me, throw me as meat to your wolves, do as you see fit but you won't get anything from me."
His anger was even greater, so he cast a curse upon her because at least it would serve to cause harm to her own even against her will:
"I curse you twice, for the love that represents everything for you, be condemned to dwell in these lands without being able to love anyone under penalty of your curse not touching them, because behold! If you live or approach those you love, they will know a terrible fate and you will observe, powerless. Nothing good for you will grow here in Middle-earth.”
She trembled because she believed in this curse and that even if there was a chance that it was not true, she would never take the risk of approaching those she loves and was therefore condemned to wander alone for eternity. Yet, that wasn't all, when Morgoth dragged her out, she saw that some of the Laiquendi were prisoners on their knees at the mercy of Sauron, most loyal and cruel servant of Morgoth and Nyéni knew that her curse was already beginning.
The Laiquendi present were those who had bent the knee in front of her and who had been informed by Maedhros of her disappearance and they had therefore decided to find her to bring her to safety. She struggled in a last burst of hope, thinking she could save them but Sauron laughed and one by one he decapitated them under Nyéni's eyes. She was thrown in their blood before Angband's doors closed behind her.
Guilt consumed her and finally she decided to wander and lead a lonely life until she found death. Never again did she approach the surviving elven cities and she often thought of Turgon, wondering if his kingdom would fall and she was afraid because she would probably never know if it would happen.
One day her heart rose because while she was in the woods, hunters had stopped not far away to drink and eat and she could no longer move under risk of being heard and caught. There in the distance, she recognized the voice of Maedhros and Istandur; they had left once again in search of Nyéni in the hope of finding her one day.
Her tears fell on her cheeks because she needed to hug them, talk to them, tell them that she wanted to go home but she couldn't. She waited there behind a tree in silence until the next day without moving and when they finally left she looked at them with a sob, imploring the Valar to allow her to die of grief, she who had lived so much more than many others.
Her lonely journey seemed endless, yet deep down, she was still looking for Turgon because failing to live by his side, she wanted to stay near his country, perhaps in the hope that she would feel his presence with her. There in the green meadows where she went, she found a herd of wild horses, they were beautiful. She noticed one of them moving away from the herd, he was the same as her father's.
She went to find him and he was wild and aggressive but she managed to calm him down by humming a song in Quenya, he allowed her to touch him and she called him Rochallor, she got on his back without him protesting and from that day, she was no longer quite alone and she had like a feeling like that of divine grace placed upon her shoulders. She thought it was a gift that was offered to her and that the horse was there to bring her a presence, that of her father. In truth, her horse was not a reincarnation of Rochallor that Fingolfin mounted but he was the worthy offspring.
Strangely her path led her towards Gondolin, but she was distracted and did not pay attention to what surrounded her, she spoke to Rochallor, too happy to finally have someone to talk to. Suddenly, a roar was heard in the distance, and Nyéni galloped through the forests, injuring herself on her way and when she arrived at the scene, she saw dragons and Balrogs, legions of Orcs and screams of fear resounding everywhere. It was there. She was in front of Gondolin but still too far away and without the possibility of rescuing her brother, she continued to gallop but when she finally stopped, the Orcs began to scream:
“The King is dead, the city has fallen.”
Chapter XXXV
Thus, she understood that her brother had passed away and she thought that with him Idril had fallen, she was deeply grieved by the loss and felt helpless. She began to think that death was on those she loved, no matter if she approached or not, by carrying the curse with her.
She massacred the Orcs she met but what choice did she really have now? Her reason told her to flee, but there was her father's cairn and Turgon's lifeless body, and she could not bring herself to leave her brother at the mercy of Morgoth's creatures.
Luckily, the fire of the Dragons had broken the mountain, she dressed in Orc clothes and entered the city, her tears flowed on her clothes but she remained discreet. She was still looking for the body of her brother and Idril, she couldn’t find Idril anywhere, but she found Turgon lying on the ground, mutilated with hatred and savagery.
She picked up his body and as none of those of Morgoth's army expected such a bold incursion they had not protected the King's body so she was able to run away with him. She struggled to put him on the back of her horse but she managed to do it and climbing up behind him, she rode off at a fast gallop as far as possible. She took him to where Fingon lay and, knowing that she could be seen, quickly raised a cairn over him, next to that of Fingon and so the two brothers were reunited.
And from the bodies of each of them, she had recovered their rings and she made a journey to Argon’s cairn where she removed a stone to place her brothers' rings in the cairn, so that Fingolfin's sons were reunited. She lamented a lot there, remembering the moments of happiness she lived with her family, always animated by this feeling of guilt that Morgoth had implanted in her mind. She wondered if she would see them again one day, if she could hug them.
For years, she was alone with her horse around Argon’s cairn because she had the impression at least that she was still a little with her family before realising that it was a horrible thought. Then from there she exchanged her sword with Argon’s, saying:
"You are the one who taught me to fight, to handle a sword and one day you told me that swords had to be cherished and that if yours had to pass to someone else it would be me. The day has come, keep my sword with you, as well as the rings of our brothers, so I will also be with you a little. I will use your sword for the best, my brother."
After a last time of lamentation, she decided to go to Lindon to observe Gil-galad from afar, it was, it seemed to her, a healthier way to have the impression of being with her family, but she did not want to meet him, too worried that he would be hurt by her curse. Idril's son, Eärendil, had by then become the father of twins but she did not even know that he existed yet and so was unaware of any other family.
She thought only of Gil-Galad, she remained in the shadows and discovered with amazement that Galadriel stood with Gil-galad, son of Fingon and Celebrimbor, son of Curufin. Even in the shadows it gave her the impression of having a new goal, so without any of them ever knowing anything, she massacred the Orcs and wargs that rode around them and she was proud of Fingon's son, like an aunt would be.
Unfortunately she had known him very little and she wondered if he remembered her, if sometimes he missed his father and aunt, but she never regretted having supported Fingon by asking Cirdan’s protection for the child so that he could stay away from danger even if it meant being away from them.
But one day, she saw that Gil-galad was panicking, he seemed to talk about a fight on the coasts and a great danger weighing on their allies, so Nyéni stretched out her ear to know more and here's what she heard:
"Idril's son has left with a ship and his wife finds herself at the mercy of the attackers with her two sons, we must intervene quickly and strongly."
She did not try to know who the attackers were or how strong the attacking troops were, she took her horse and left, galloping along the coast until she found what she was looking for, but unfortunately too late. Elwing had thrown herself into the water and while Nyéni wanted to throw herself into battle, she saw that the attackers were Maglor and Maedhros and she saw that they regretted their gesture and they had taken the children with them, so that the misfortune of Dior's sons would not be repeated.
She could not bring herself to leave the children behind her, so as good Laiquendë of blood that she was, she hid in the trees while her horse enjoyed the wild again during these moments of absence. The children seemed happy with Maglor and Maedhros but she wondered if Amras would join them one day because nothing would make her happier than seeing him again.
Istandur was also there, serving his Lords and the little boys, descendants of Fingolfin, Turgon and Idril. She loved the spectacle that was offered to her, she watched them grow, she watched Maedhros being totally overwhelmed by the children when he played with them. She watched Maglor play the harp to put them to sleep, she watched Istandur teach them the history of the world and Tengwar.
The children seemed really happy, but one day they left their home to go play in the woods without supervision, Nyéni found it very imprudent and from the top of the trees, she jumped from branch to branch very discreetly to follow the children and watch them, carrying her sword and her bow in case of need.
It was very lucky that she had because shortly after their entrance into the forest, their childish laughter attracted wargs, seeing this Nyéni jumped from the top of the tree on to the back of one of the wargs and stuck her dagger in his head, she then jumped head over heels, turned in the air and fell back on her feet, bow in hand. The children clung to her legs, although they did not know her, and she shot arrow after arrow killing all the wargs except one, who had time to approach close enough for her to draw her sword and she sliced his head in half by sliding her blade into his mouth.
Alerted by the noises of combat, Istandur and his Lords ran into the woods and were surprised to find Nyéni surrounded by dead wargs lying in their own blood, the twins clinging to her legs. She looked at them with great emotion without knowing how to react after all this time and she could see that they had the impression of seeing a vision of the past or a ghost.
She sheathed her sword and took the children in her arms to reassure them and take them to their Lords. Both of the children claimed refuge in Maglor's arms but Maedhros had only eyes for his beloved, he had so many questions, so many things to say to her and it seemed to them that they would not have time to tell each other everything. He kissed her holding her face in his hands, repeating that he loved her and that he had missed her, Istandur shed a few tears and Maglor began to fear that she would want to leave:
"Tell me you're not leaving, tell me you're going to stay with us this time?"
And she hesitated, but after all, was this curse true? Without her, Elros and Elrond would be dead now, so for a moment, she hesitated and Maedhros did not waste any more time. He had waited for this moment for centuries and had almost lost hope that it could ever happen, that their time would finally come. He took Nyéni's hands in his, kissed them, before speaking:
"We have spent our lives hearing that our time has not come, we have lost so much that I can no longer count the number of times of mourning we have suffered. You have always said that your place was with those of your family, of the lineage of Fingolfin and the grandchildren of Idril are here now, with us. Do you trust anyone other than yourself to protect yours? We know you don’t, my love. Stay, for them and for me. Become my wife, finally agree to bind yourself to me.”
She hesitated again, terrified by Morgoth's words, but she wanted it so much, she no longer wanted to remain alone and sad, for once she told herself that she could have a family and be happy.
“I will become your wife and I will stay here with you.”
Everyone was crazy with joy, Maedhros lifted her up and kissed her again but before uniting with him, she had to get to know the children, it was too important for her. And they also had to exchange their stories of the time when they were so long apart and Nyéni knew little because in her solitude, she did not receive news. She first took a hot bath and enjoyed a little comfort. She put on a beautiful dress that Istandur had found for her and she went to find the children outside with Maglor and she introduced herself to them:
"My name is Nyéni, I am the daughter of Fingolfin and the latter is your ancestor, his son was called Turgon and he had a daughter whose name was Idril, she was your grandmother. All my life, I have protected my family and this has become my only legacy, my story, and your existence gives meaning to my life.”
Chapter XXXVI
The children gave her a huge hug filled with love, they had greatly missed a female presence and they understood what she was saying much better than what everyone thought. Elrond asked Nyéni:
“Will you be able to tell us stories about our family?”
"Of course! Did you know that your grandmother was afraid of bees?”
They started laughing and she told them this story and Maglor smiled while listening to it, Maedhros listened in the distance with Istandur and for a moment, he wondered when was the last time he had felt such happiness. And Istandur thought the same thing:
"How happy that we are at this moment, I wish it would never stop, I would like everything to stay exactly like this forever."
“Me too Istandur, me too.”
After a while, Nyéni began to dance and sing for the children and they greatly admired her grace. At the end, Maedhros approached and asked Nyéni for a dance and it was by dancing that Nyéni's first day with them ended.
After some time, Nyéni cooked for the twins as she did in time for the Ambarussa and it reminded Maedhros that he had to have a conversation with her, but he could not bring himself to tarnish her happiness and already the children were attached to her. Several days and weeks passed like this, until Nyéni became like a mother to them. But Maglor insisted that his brother tell Nyéni the truth, so one evening, when she had finished telling a story to the children for them to sleep, he asked her to follow him outside under the stars and spoke frankly:
"I need to talk to you." said Maedhros before continuing: "I didn't have the heart to make you suffer earlier, it was probably a little selfish, I was afraid that you would leave again, that you would disappear and never come back."
"I ask for your forgiveness, I promise not to leave you anymore, I will stay by your side from now on. You can speak frankly, my love.”
"My brothers and I attacked Doriath because we wanted to recover the Silmaril that Dior had, and among all the horrible things that happened, Amras fell..."
Nyéni tried not to collapse, her eyes filled with tears, she looked away from Maedhros who grabbed her arms and tried to comfort her, despite everything Nyéni cried:
“My Ambarussa.”
"I know... I know..."
They hugged each other and cried together and Nyéni said to Maedhros:
"I'm tired of death, please, let's stop for a while lamenting for those we have lost. Let's make room for life.”
And she smiled although the tears did not stop falling on her cheeks and he smiled too, noting that even Nienna's student had her limit to mourning and pain. They went back inside hand in hand and they met Istandur whom they asked to organise a small secret celebration for their union of which only Maglor, Istandur and the twins would witness.
Nyéni always carried Amras in her heart, so she gave Istandur a jewel that Maedhros had given her, it was an eight-pronged silver star, she asked Istandur to melt it, and to make it into a necklace with a two-pronged pendant set with the red stone and diamonds that were contained within the initial jewel.
Istandur made her a very beautiful jewel with two branches inlaid with diamonds that surmounted a red stone and on the back of the branches were the names of the Ambarussa. And Nyéni wore this jewel with pride, thus always having with her the Ambarussa she loved so much.
The day before the wedding, everyone exchanged stories after the children went to bed, and they were sorry that Nyéni had witnessed the fall of Gondolin and were so amazed that she dared to enter to retrieve her brother's body to take him to a decent burial place.
Emotion overwhelmed them when she talked about her journey to Argon’s cairn, the deposit of the signet rings in the mound, the sword exchange and the years spent watching Fingolfin's heirs from afar, ready to jump at any time to protect them at the cost of her life if necessary. It was fortunate that now times of peace were available to them, if only for a few years.
The next day, Nyéni prepared for her wedding and the twins each took one of Nyéni's hands to accompany her to Maedhros, Maglor stood by his side with Istandur on Nyéni's side. The ceremony was unlike any of those that the Eldar could know, they promised themselves to face the storm together, to form a family and to protect themselves until death took them.
And so they lived a married life without anyone knowing it, or even knowing that Nyéni was alive, and the children grew up enjoying the love that Nyéni had offered a long time ago to the Ambarussa, except that they were from the lineage of Fingolfin and that no one stood between them. The children enjoyed a maternal presence that was beneficial to them because the sweetness of Nyéni could not be matched by that of Maglor and Maedhros and they did not have the same things to offer to the children, but they complemented each other perfectly.
One day, Nyéni went into the forest with the children, they picked berries and herbs and even found wild honey. On their return, the three of them went to the kitchens, Elros and Elrond elbows on the work surface, hands holding their jaws watching Nyéni make them a red berry and honey cake. They ate the cake with Maglor who had smelled it from afar and wanted to be offered a piece of cake, the twins saw him arrive and they said:
"Oh no! You're going to eat the whole cake!”
“Just a small part.”
And he took a slice equivalent to three normal slices and the children pulled the dish towards them so that he would not take it again and it made everyone laugh a lot. Istandur surprised Nyéni in the kitchen and told her:
"If you make food for my Lords in my place, I will soon be good for nothing."
She huddled him and answered before leaving:
"You will forever be indispensable to your Lords, and to me too, my friend."
Chapter XXXVII
That evening, she wanted to contemplate the stars and took her horse to go beyond the forest, where the stars were not hidden by the clouds. Maedhros joined her and asked her why she had gone so far away and she smiled at him:
“I wanted to look at the stars. I remember that thousands of years ago, when I was little, my father and our Lord Denethor applied themselves to instill in me the love of the stars of Varda, and they told me that it was the purest light and that nothing bad on these lands could happen without Varda, the Queen of the Valar, being informed. But, with time in Valinor, I learned to love the light of trees and I somewhat forgot my love for the stars. I have never gotten used to the moonlight. It makes me sad, it is the sign that we will all decline one day, despite our immortality. But here, at this moment, I rediscovered the stars and all the hope that they represented for me when I was just a little girl."
"The little girl you were was raised well, she suffered a lot and she fought more than reason for this world, and today she raises two little boys with love and tenderness. You are made to be a mother, you are fierce, tender, patient, loving and protective. Do you know what Fingolfin once told me?"
“No, what did he say?”
"He told me that he would have liked you to follow me and be my Lady, that you and I gave him grandchildren. He told me that he had imagined what our children might look like if we had some one day.”
“He said that? He never spoke to me about our relationship, I always assumed that he accepted it but paid no attention to it."
“You were wrong, he wanted the best for both of us.”
He hugged her but she didn't seem to fully understand Maedhros' intentions, so he continued:
"He is no longer here to enjoy his grandchildren, but maybe this wish he had, we could make it true. I have had this desire for a very long time, and today you and I are linked for life, we already take care of two children, maybe we should have a bigger family, have our own child." said Maedhros.
“In times of war... Would it really be appropriate?”
"We are in a time of peace, and whatever happens, I know that our destiny is not to see our child die. We will always find a way, a way to be happy, a way to find ourselves even if we were separated by the distance from the whole world. Please say yes, accept this idea. A little being, half of you, half of me and all the love we have to offer him, and Elros and Elrond will have a little baby by their side.”
"A baby? Really?” hesitated Nyéni.
"Yes, really. In addition, I am afraid that Istandur will be bored with only two children to instruct, poor man, in time he had no less than seven to follow."
She laughed at Maedhros' joke but he hugged her:
“Let's have a baby.”
"Half of you and half of me. Let's have a baby.” said Nyéni, softly.
They said nothing to Maglor and Istandur until they noticed that Nyéni's belly was getting round and that day, Istandur dropped the children's breakfast tray and Maedhros laughed:
“Istandur?”
Maglor ran to Nyéni, looked at her belly and laughed in turn, it was a great moment of joy, he hugged her:
“I'm going to be an uncle!”
Everyone took care of Nyéni although she did not want it, she continued to take care of the children, they sometimes slept with her outside when they had bad dreams, they lay down in her arms on the rocking chair and both put their hands on Nyéni's belly while she sang a soft and calm air to put them to sleep.
Chapter XXXVIII
Yet, war was declared again and Nyéni refused to stay behind, especially when she learned that the Valar were on their way and that Morgoth would fall. She wanted to be there, after all the horror he had generated, she wanted to be there when he was at the mercy of the Valar again.
She did not listen to Maedhros, Maglor or Istandur and so with Elros and Elrond safely hidden the four of them left for war. Upon their arrival, Istandur sounded with his horn and all those still faithful to Maedhros and Maglor arrived behind them and the surprise was great for many Elves. Gil-galad remembered his aunt and he had thought her dead, as well as Galadriel and they stopped during the fight, totally stunned. Nyéni, Fingolfin's last daughter, still alive and arriving on a horse identical to that of her father, carrying the sword of Argon and with a round belly.
She was terrible to see in battle, because peace was put aside for a while in her mind and she cut her enemies in half by the only strength of her hatred, even the Balrogs did not resist her, she jumped on top of the head of one and she put her feet on its horns and pushed her sword into one of its eyes of fire until she no longer saw the blade. She then jumped back, landing on her horse and continued her way.
And there in the middle of the fight, she found Nienna who drowned the Orcs in her tears that were bubbling on the ground because of the heat of the Thangorodrim. Nienna took her in her arms and kissed her, ordering her not to lose hope and to continue to fight. And it was a very powerful boost of energy for Nyéni. She left to surround Gil-galad as she had done with Fingolfin long ago and she did not make the mistake of leaving him alone like she did in the past with Fingon. That was good because when a new Balrog appeared in front of Gil-galad, she fought him fiercely: no one would touch her nephew.
Maedhros and Maglor fought well in combat and that was a comfort for Nyéni because she wanted to stay with Gil-galad, he was King of the Noldor and it was her deep nature to protect him, especially he who was the son of Fingon, her beloved brother.
Eärendil, son of Idril killed Ancalagon in the sky and the latter destroyed the walls of the Thangorodrim and the armies of Morgoth were defeated. The Valar were now advancing at his doors and Nyéni stood by the side of Nienna with Maedhros and when Morgoth came out, he first tried to appease the Valar but he quickly understood that he would no longer have any chance of fooling them.
Morgoth looked briefly at Nyéni and he noticed that she was pregnant and saw an opportunity to sow misfortune one last time:
"Here, then, haven't you lost everything yet? If I remember the tales of the Laiquendi, your mother also carried a baby in her belly when the wargs devoured her, like mother like daughter, right? Didn't I tell you that nothing good would survive around you? You are the architect of your destiny, I predict that the wargs will devour your child as they ate your mother's corpse, tearing her belly and mutilating her baby."
It was too much for her, Tulkas and Aulë had chained him but she wanted him dead, she advanced as fast as an arrow and drew her sword but Maedhros intervened and put himself between her and the Lord of Darkness:
"It's over, we won and he's defeated, nothing will happen to you anymore, he will never have the chance to do you the slightest harm."
In this there was truth, but they forgot that the sons of Fëanor were also cursed, and under oath until death. Yet the war ended and a party was held without too much organisation and Nyéni was surprised by Gil-galad who hugged her, rejoicing that she was still alive and that she was carrying a new Elf to be born. Galadriel was also happy and she hoped to see this little baby soon. Elros and Elrond were brought to meet the Valar and Gil-galad, their relative but they did not see their father.
And while everyone was celebrating, Elrond and Elros rejoicing in Nyéni's survival and having found her again, Nyéni noticed Maglor and Maedhros were missing, she started looking for them and she asked Istandur where the brothers were, he didn't know either, he had been removed from their service to watch over the journey of Elros and Elrond.
But Eonwë came on horseback and brought serious news: Maedhros and Maglor had killed the guards who protected the Silmarils and had seized them because the call of their father's oath was too strong.
Nyéni did not accept this news and began to panic and retreat, holding her belly, seeing this, Nienna and Námo came to her:
"They are lost Nyéni, but not you, not your child. You will come with us to Valinor and raise your child, there is no reason for death to also be your burden."
But she rejected them, refusing for this to be Maedhros and Maglor’s destiny and she took her horse Rochallor to go in search of them. During this time the Valar left Middle-earth to return to Valinor. Thus, her last hope was to find Maglor and Maedhros, her last chance to find happiness.
She searched for weeks and found nothing until she galloped into a village of men, she shouted the names of the two brothers and sang laments everywhere about the Silmarils, the oath of Fëanor, the sons of the latter until a man who heard her went to meet her:
"Are you looking for a man wearing a jewel of great beauty my Lady?"
"Yes my good Sir, one has dark hair and the other has fiery hair, he is missing a hand."
"Yes, I saw this one, I tried to help him, he seemed lost and desperate."
“Where did he go? Where can I find it?”
"My lady, I'm sorry... He rushed to the volcano behind my village. I tried to stop him, but he jumped... He jumped into the fire, he died..."
Nyéni squeezed her belly and with a stroke of a hand turned her horse and went to the woods where her blood parents were murdered. She went on to the sea, on to the rocks where she had decided to give up on her life when she was just a little girl.
There, she fell on the rocks, the waves rose dangerously and Nyéni gave up life, she chose death. But when the waves were so high that they overwhelmed Nyéni, the latter was dragged onto the back of a sea creature.
…
Uinen had come.
Once again, she took Nyéni to Valinor but this time Ulmo knew it and had sent the healers, Nienna and Nyéni's family to find her on the eastern banks of Valinor. Upon her arrival, she was washed ashore and Fingolfin was there and he carried his daughter and rode alongside Estë to Lórien’s gardens where she could heal and rest but this was not enough and Námo came for her, he carried an unexpected message:
"Nyéni, you have to live for your child to survive. You will no longer be subjected to the curse that Morgoth threw on you, because here you are not in Middle-earth and you will no longer know death either. I'm not begging you to survive but Maedhros does.”
Her eyes suddenly plunged into those of Námo and he continued:
"Maedhros is in Mandos, he begs you to survive so that your child comes into the world, so that your family comes true. He will do everything to repent and join you to raise your child, but you must survive for this to happen. Your role is not fulfilled Nyéni, I predict that you still have a role to play so that forgiveness is granted to those who remain prisoners of Mandos for their rebellion. You have to live now to accomplish your destiny.”
Nyéni managed to survive and she settled in the Halls of Nienna where she found healing in the depths of her soul with Olórin and Nienna. There she went into labour and her family rushed to her side so that she would not be alone and she gave birth to Niestellë, daughter of Maedhros and Nyéni, a little red-headed with the features of her mother.
A child who never lacked love and who benefited from a loving family because Fingolfin's house welcomed the arrival of the child with joy and cherished her with fervor. When Nienna visited the dead in Mandos, she always went to find Maedhros and reported news of his daughter and his wife and when he learned that finally Nyéni was smiling again and that she longed for him he sighed:
“One day my love, I will be given back to you.”
A fanfiction by Yaëlle Roger (Nyéni).
Edited with the help of Manda Han.
