Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Side Quest

The footsteps of her combat boots weren’t heavy, but light as she walked, and the light rain softly hit her face and hair. Of course it was dramatic — everything always was, especially since they live in such a city such as Osaka. Shizuka had her hands in her pockets of her jacket, staring ahead.

     The place she was going to, was going to be chaotic. It’d be a bar/ restaurant, meeting up with the Onyx gang, there for a few reasons.

Mina insisted on calling it “a break” and “free time”, while Iida had sternly described it as “a task that they can’t afford to fail, even if it’s a small one.”

She continued walking, the light rain still continuing and she looked over to see the bar, it being also next to an alleyway, which made it all the more shady.

Her hand grabbed the handle to the door, a small bell ringing as she looked around. Just like any other bar, there were drinks laughing off and being crazy, some knocked out with their heads laying against tables they sat in, while others were trying to hit up on the small amount of woman in here.

She only glared, her golden eyes narrowed whenever a guy would look at her, minding them no business as she walked to the corner of the bar, where the gang sat.

Onyx Unit was the gang, or “family” that Shizuka works alongside with. And the agency that they are a part of is IronHall, which has never changed. 4, almost 5 years now, and their respective roles remained the same.

 Shizuka was the “assassin”, usually delivering the close combat kills and specializing in her two daggers and a single revolver that she has customized. (Would be considered the “strongest of Osaka”, but I’ve never written a single character that’s considered strong in their universe.)

The group consisted of at least 15 people, with Bakugo, Midoriya, Todoroki and Iida having been the ones that she’s heard of the most before she became a part of the group. And after that, she started getting to know each of them a lot more, sometimes awkward since she’d always have some hard times opening up…

But that was four years ago. Shizuka sat down without saying a word, her shoulder unintentionally bumping into Bakugo’s — playful but also just a small saying of, ‘I’m here now, asshole’, earning a glare from the ash-blonde guy but didn’t say anything as he crossed his arms.

Mina, on the other hand, squealed with happiness when she saw her best friend, a grin appearing on her face despite the atmosphere surrounding them. 

“Hey, you’re finally here!” She said. Iida looked over, a file in hand as he adjusted his glasses, “Shizuka, you’re late.” He said.

The raven haired woman only rested her cheek on her palm, appearing unfazed even with the slight amusement she was feeling. “Only by, like, 3 minutes, Tenya.” She retorted. Iida grumbled just a bit, opening the file he had and pulling out some papers.

“Anyways, now that we’re all here,” he started, clearing his throat, “it looks like the boss just wants us to do something brief…” he muttered, looking over at the others, just to realize that some of them weren’t paying attention. 

Kirishima only nodded, trying to take the task at hand serious but his eyes kept drifting elsewhere, specifically to the TV near the bar table where a wrestling match was being played. Kaminari was talking to Mineta about random things (most likely the chicks in the bar but let’s not talk about that).

Mina was busy trying to gossip with a bunch of random people, trying to play the distractor despite the task at hand not even having being said yet.

The others were either listening — such as Todoroki, Midoriya or Yaoyorozu, and the much more chaotic ones were doing their own thing.When it came to small missions, nobody really cared.

Except for Shizuka, her pose mirroring Bakugo’s as she looked at Iida, her own arms crossed, her golden eyes looking at the file.

“So there’s just some random guy in here selling drugs?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. Yeah, she understood why the others didn’t care.

Next to her, Bakugo scoffed, his eyes narrowing, “The hell kind of “brief mission” is that?” He snapped, and Shizuka rolled her eyes.

“It’s still a mission, otherwise. Small, sure, but the guy could be dangerous.”

Bakugo grunted, his eyes looking elsewhere. Iida nodded, his voice stern, “That’s right. Yes, it’s a small mission, but the boss still expects us to complete it.”

He sighed, looking at the others with disappointment at their behavior, and he looked back at Shizuka and Bakugo, the only two actually paying attention.

”You two wouldn’t mind handling it?” He asked, and Shizuka looked at him, shrugging.

”Might as well. If it means I get to go home early.” She said.

”Tch, when do you not want to go home?” Bakugo asked, his rough voice teasing.

Shizuka rolled her eyes, a small smirk tugging at her lips. She glanced back at Iida and nodded, “Sure, I guess we can do it.”

After a few minutes, Iida gave them the small information they had. The man’s name that they were looking for was Kazeko, the average drug dealer in which they were supposed to confront.

After that, Shizuka and Bakugo began walking around the bar, glancing around and appearing casual whilealso looking for the man. “You really think we’ll be able to look for this guy?” Bakugo asked, trying to appear unfazed even though his crimson eyes said otherwise, scanning around with every step they took. Shizuka just nodded, her voice calm. “I’m sure we will. I get that this “task” was unexpected, but we have to do it.”

Bakugo stayed quiet, only letting out a small “tch”, and didn’t say anything after that as they continued pacing around the bar.

Shizuka’s eyes continued to scan the room, until they landed on a man — seeming to be in his mid twenties, black hair and amber eyes — looks like the guy, she thought in her head. 

“There’s the guy.” She said, and Bakugo glanced over as well, his eyes now holding a glint of readiness. “Finally…”

The two approached with caution, Shizuka sitting on a stool near the counter of the bar, Bakugo leaning against it. After a few minutes, Shizuka managed to approach the guy, acting casual while also trying not to get too comfortable.

After confronting the man, and secured the drugs, (even if they didn't need it) they finally completed whatever they needed to do. The guy said he, matter of fact, did work for a different mafia organization elsewhere. Instead of fighting him, name being Kaito,  the gang just left, just like that.

The whole thing, according to Bakugo, was pointless, and almost everybody else agreed. So everybody went home, and as in going home, walking all together back to the absolute chaos of an agency that they lived and worked in.

IronHall was the organization, the “family” they were apart of. The gang itself that Shizuka loved to call her “family” was Onyx Unit. Nothing flashy or scary of a name, but the roles and titles each member had been given spoke volumes.

Shizuka become a part of IronHall when she was just 20, not having met the gang yet and starting out as a trainee. A part of her childhood was solely spent on training to become the strongest she possibly could. Most of this was by force because she was a kid.

And at the age of 23 she officially earned, by the town Osaka itself, to be the “Queen of Blades”, most “dangerous assassin” in Osaka, and unfortunately not the most dangerous in all of Japan.

Even though she refused to acknowledge it and always went on with her days, she is no doubt a traumatized character (that’ll be for many many chapters to come)

Shizuka is the close combat, relying on her daggers and revolver as her main weapons. Bakugo, as expected, could be the heavy hitter, the enforcer of the group and always using any sort of Grenade/explosives as a distraction or to make everything just as loud as it already it, as well as using a submachine or a revolver or pistol of his own just to make himself look badass and hot as hell (woah, who said that..?)

They were always put together because for some reason everybody loves seeing them together and they really love hearing them argue..! And possibly because Shizuka’s voice is one of the many voices that can actually calm the hothead down. 

Kaminari and Jirou, (specifically Jirou) are the hackers and have their ways when it comes to powering out any location that the rest are in, allowing everybody else to sneak in certain areas when the security don’t pay absolute shit attention to. (“And we’re in!” ahh statements are not tolerated.)

Kirishima and Mina are the distractions, with Kirishima, similar to Bakugo, is also a heavy hitter and uses his own fists to fight. Iida and Yaoyorozu are the obvious peacemakers and the “parents” of the gang, serving their roles as leaders despite Shizuka always being the one to lead first.

Uraraka, Todoroki, and Midoriya serve their roles as both comms and distractions, setting up different routes when the others lead. 

(There’s Monoma, Shinso, and Kendo as well but I’m sure you’re probably getting bored of reading this.)

The gang reached their beloved home, Mina stepping in first with the rest following. The door to the front door closed, and not much words were said first. Just casual “good night’s” and “rest up for tomorrow”.

Shizuka felt as if she was holding her breath, and she sighed. “This whole day was boring…” she said bluntly, and Bakugo scoffed. “Tch… that desperate to do something?” He asked.

Shizuka shrugged, “I’m not an assassin if I’m not out there taking hit after hit.” She said, and Bakugo grinned at that. “Not surprised.”

They walked to their respective rooms, Shizuka feeling drained in a way, and a bit icky as well.

She showered, dried her hair with a towel, changed, and plopped on her bed, closing her door a few seconds before but not bothering to lock it. She closed her eyes and sighed in relief.

It wasn’t a long day for once, just a simple side task that they had to do. Her body relaxed and gave in. She heard footsteps and smirked softly, hearing the banter between Bakugo and Kirishima as they passed by, couldn’t quite hear because the walls were well soundproof.

The sounds outside were relaxing, and if anything, she hoped it stayed that way. It wasn’t too bad to be with them. 

Chapter Text

Shizuka’s eyes opened, feeling the golden light of sun hit her eyes, almost feeling blind until she stirred and slowly sat up. She hated mornings, and very much felt groggy, eyes feeling heavy. 

She slowly stood up and stretched, blinking slowly until she heard a crash downstairs followed by some sort of shocked voice belonging to Iida.

A few minutes after getting ready, Shizuka walked into the common room. It was quiet, the only ones awake for now being everybody except Mina and Kaminari. 

“Good morning, Shizuka.” Greeted Iida, and Shizuka could only mumble a small ‘morning’, walking over to the kitchen and making herself coffee.

It had felt peaceful when she woke up, and the gangs morning was spent with casual talk, the usual banter until Todoroki spoke up with a single name and a few words.

”Oh, nobody mentioned how Mr. Daigo is coming in for a visit.” He said, voice smooth and completely relaxed.

“Wait, he’s dropping by?” Kaminari asked, his eyes widening.

“He comes in almost every 2 months, we should know that by know.” Shizuka muttered, sipping on her coffee.

”So then what are we doing just standing here! This isn’t serious but please tell me all your rooms are empty! Is the weaponry secure? All gates are and should be locked and guarded, right?!” Iida said, to which everybody just blinked and nodded.

”Heh, as they should be. Don’t worry too much, Iida.” Midoriya said, his expression calm as ever. 

The day finally started out with each member checking up on everything.

The weaponry room with all the weapons and equipment they had and would use during missions.

Grenades, guns like revolvers, pistols and snipers, as well as sort of darts neatly set up and put in their respective places, were hung up in walls (like the sort of room you’d see in those action movies)

As they cleaned, or made sure to check up on everything, Bakugo walked in the room, hands in pockets as he glanced around the room, and at the floor, just to make sure nothing was on the floor, and he walked away.

The mansion, that they also like to call their HQ, was quite huge, and not at all fancy but modern.

Each member had their own rooms, of course, walls thick (this does not imply anything sexual I promise), as well as the main areas of it having a common room (living room, if you will), the weaponry being mentioned more than once, a kitchen and many balconies (that sets up for my romance and angst—)

It was a regular thing for their boss, named Shonda Daigo, who tends to check up on them and their little home every once in a while.

It usually means nothing but the man has known them ever since they were kids. Not that he cares, the Onyx Unit is very much the only mafia family that IronHall is very much all about.

With Daigo also came his wife, a very too-kind-for-the-underworld-nice lady at the age of 57, named Rika, who has also known the O.U for quite some time.

The lady herself likes to refer as almost everybody in the organization as her grandchildren, but instead of offering treats, she likes to offer breaks, to which Daigo has to somehow agree to.

Shizuka sat on one of the couch seats, waiting for the arrival. It caused slight panic amongst the gang, usually meaning he’d announce a mission, whether it be a big one or a small one, and sometimes he’d just say they can take a week break off.

There was no in between unless if he gave a possible third option.

Daigo stepped in, didn’t knock, after what seemed like 15 minutes later. He was a tall guy, 6’0 at least, with both dark hair and a dark-ish skin tone.

On the outside, he looked like any other mafia boss, intimidating and possibly attractive.

But on the inside, he was far beyond that. Yes, he was pretty blunt when it comes to telling the gang off their next mission and small quests, but when it comes to his wife, he won’t even budge to refuse whatever she says.

She’d say, “give them a break! They deserve it!” And Daigo would just gulp and only nod.

That sums up how their boss is, for now.

His dark green eyes scanned each member, eyes narrowed but not giving the impression he’s deeply trying to look into them.

Shizuka blinked, Mina gave a small smile, Iida and Todoroki could only nod, and Bakugo had his usual scowl. The rest ended up bristling when they felt his gaze.

“… How has everybody been?” The boss asked, and it was silent for a second until everybody spoke at once.

“Horrible.”

”I’m doing great! And you? How’s Rika?”

”Nice suit! Is that new?”

”I’m tired.”

”Doing well, sir!”

Daigo’s eye twitched, though not out of annoyance, always reacting to anything whatever they would say.

He cleared he throat and sighed, “Very well… I’m not here for an inspection, in case you were wondering.” He said, and they all gasped at that.

Daigo continued, “I just came here to let you all that, in general, “turf wars” between Tokyo and Yokohama have decreased. It appears that they’ve gotten lazy and their own gangs have gotten weaker, in a way.”

Todoroki blinked, tilting his head, “So… not much has been happening?”

”… Yes. It’s been quiet between the other families and not much has been happening here in Osaka, either.” Daigo said, rubbing the back of his neck.

”…” nobody spoke. It was an awkward moment, since the big boss of IronHall was always blunt and ready when it came to informing them.

”But just because nothing much has been going on, doesn’t mean that Osaka is running dry during the hour of night. I still expect you all to deal with requests and undercover tasks.” 

“And, if you don’t end up getting such requests and reports, then go on a damn break, I couldn’t care less anymore.” He sighed and turned around, now walking out, the front door closing. Just like that.

5 hours passed, the rest of their day was spent either going out for once in broad daylight (they do, but at this point everybody is a night owl), or quite literally just messing around in the HQ.

Shizuka, in particular, walked around Osaka. The sky was blue and it was calm and peaceful, a contrast to how it usually is at night (hehe, a contrast of day and night). Alongside her was Mina, Kirishima, and Bakugo (this does not foreshadow any relationships… :3 not poly, sorry). 

“I think we’ve done enough walking around, Mina. I wanna go home.” Shizuka said, and Mina immediately shook her head. 

“No way! We’ve only been out for 2 hours! That’s not enough outside!” She said, pouting slightly. “Besides, it’s not enough human time, either. I’m done for the day with trying to be all mafia this and badass that! Don’t you guys agree?” She asked, turning to Kirishima  and Bakugo.

“Hm, you know Mina’s not wrong, Shizu!” Said Kirishima, his toothy grin forming. “I think every once in a while we should enjoy the time we get! Even Bakugo’s enjoying the moment.”

The spiky blonde guy scoffed at that, “Tch, could agree with her for once. I think kicking ass is way better than just walking around!” He said.

Mina stuck her tongue out at that. “Aww, c’mon! And maybe for once we shouldn’t be thinking in the mindset of a mafia member! Sure, it’s part of the job but why focus on that when we can focus on this right now?” 

Shizuka looked at her and sighed, her expression softening just a bit. “I never was complaining though, I just said I wanted to go home.”

The latter grinned at that, “I know! It just takes you and the hothead over here a bit of convincing to not be in that head space sometimes, ya know?”

Shizuka tilted her head at that, and sighed. “You’re not wrong. But now I want tempura.”

Kirishima smiled, patting Shizuka and Bakugo on the back. “Yeah, it has been a while since we’ve eaten outside of home!

Bakugo only grunted at that, reluctantly following as the four continued to walk.

They arrived at a small cafe, and right off the bat, Shizuka got tempura (I very much love shrimp, so there’s a little connection I added) and boba. Bakugo had gotten spicy mapo tofu (Season 5 when they had dinner with the Todoroki family :D), and Mina and Kirishima getting their own food (no idea but they got something)

The rest of their evening was calm, and the occasional group chat of Onyx Unit would blow up.

Kaminari would send bunch of pictures with things he did with Jirou and Sero, and the rest would either respond with an actual message, or just send a thumbs up emoji or heart the message (usually Shizuka), and Todoroki would (and probably confusingly) send back a picture of the sidewalk he was, well, walking on.

Once the sun began to set, the four started walking back. Shizuka kept quiet while also listening to Mina talk, golden eyes just looking up at the sky as if it were the most amazing thing to look at, which in her opinion, it was. Bakugo glanced over and then look ahead again. 

When they got home, they were greeted by a dim lighting, clearly everyone just heading to bed. Mina said her cheerful yet soft goodnights and Kirishima told them to sleep well.

Shizuka looked around, making sure nothing was on and also for nothing to be off. She walked up the stairs to her room and she also heard heavy footsteps behind her.

”You were quiet today.” Bakugo said, and when Shizuka turned back, his eyes were narrowed, but he looked curious, and maybe concerned. 

Shizuka took another step and stood in the hallway, “I’m always quiet.” She said, and Bakugo scoffed. “You always say that. Yeah I know you’re quiet, but you look tired.”

Shizuka paused at that, feeling her heart rate pick up, either from how nervous she was feeling or something else. “I’m always tired, too—“ she started, but he interrupted.

“As if you don’t say that, either… how many times are you gonna say you want to go home, and you’re tired?” He asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

”I am home.” She said, and Bakugo stood quiet for a bit, speaking up. “As if I don’t know what you mean. You look sleep deprived, and those damn eyes of yours look dull as ever..!” 

“Then let me go to bed, yeah?” She said, and for once he didn’t say anything back, only huffed and walked past her. 

“Fine.”

Shizuka shook her head mentally and walked to her room. She took off her jacket, and plopped on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

Her ears heard that deafening ringing. The same ringing that’d always happen when it was quiet, and in the safest way to say, she’d feel that ringing, that something, pull her down.

She didn’t know it, or even felt it, but her eyes were wide, her golden eyes that were always giving off a glow of determination and absolute stubbornness, were just wide and unblinking until she started to zone out. 

Chapter Text

Golden Eyes that Dim

17 years ago…

[Name: Kurai Shizuka. Age: 7. 
‘Quiet but clearly observant. Her eyes always dart to around to any member that walks by. Doesn’t seem scared, almost curious. Part of the Shizuka family, parents being Reiko and Hayato Shizuka. Father is in prison while mother is rumored to be dead…]

Kurosawa sighed as he put the file down; simple bits of notes and information on the new ”recruit” they got. The young girl just blinked as she looked up at him from her seat, and even he felt intimidated by her tiny gaze. He stood still for a moment before walking toward her and kneeling down.

”So, kid…” he started, “do you know why you’re here?” 

Shizuka blinked at that and shook her head, but then nodded.

“Because my parents are gone and the Mr. said that you’re gonna take care of me.” She said, voice too innocent. Maybe she didn’t comprehend yet what the whole deal was about training her.

Kurosawa smiled softly, “Something like that.”

Shizuka tilted her head, “you people are not bad people, right?” The guy shook his head at that, standing back up. “I assure you we’re not… yes, we’re a mafia organization but we don’t do bad things.” 

He started to walk away, gesturing for the little girl to follow, which she did.

”Our job, simply, is to… protect Osaka. We do fight against other organizations but we’re not bad people.” He said, looking down at her.

Shizuka didn’t react much, just blinked as she looked ahead, a few tiny steps behind him. “… my papa did the opposite, though. He was a bad man.”

Kurosawa’s expression changed from soft to concerned, protective. This kid is only 7 and knows what she’s talking about. She does know what we’re getting here into.

”He was… never like that, though. Did you know that, Kurai?” He asked, and Shizuka looked up at him, “he was nice and cool. I dunno why he became mean.” She muttered, and Kurosawa instantly heard the slight tremble in her voice.

He knelt down again and patted his head, getting a bit panicked at the thought of her crying. “Uh, let’s change the subject… what’s your favorite food?” He asked, to which the girl’s eyes instantly widened. 

“I—I like shrimp! Tempura! Um, and boba, except for the little squishy balls… and I like um, my blanket..” she said.

The man nodded at that, relieved to see how her mood completely changed. “Mm, I’ll see what they can get for you, then. Let’s continue walking, yeah?” 

He stood up and continued walking into the hallway, Shizuka following close behind, holding a small plush of what was a little cat.

Kurosawa led her to the common room of the organization of IronHall, a few people walking around here and there, and Shizuka’s eyes widened, in amazement with how huge a simple room to just hang out in was. 

Mr. Daigo, the boss himself, walked in, and everybody bowed in greeting. “Afternoon, sir!” They all said in unison, and Shizuka blinked, tilting her head.

Kurosawa sat down and Shizuka followed, looking at Daigo curiously. Boss man, she thought.

Mr. Daigo turned to the two, and nodded, “This is the new one?” He asked, and Kurosawa nodded, his gaze turning serous. 

“She is… her name is Kurai Shizuka.” He said, and Daigo looked down at her, the girl looking back up. 

“Do you want to be an assassin?” He asked bluntly, and Shizuka blinked slowly. 

“… If I’m not a bad guy, then okie. But I don’t wanna be bad guy like my papa.” She said, and Daigo unexpectedly felt his usual cold and stern face soften. “No, you won’t be like Hayato. You’ll be far better—“

Kurosawa cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at his boss, and Daigo couldn’t help but chuckled. He reached over and patted Shizuka’s head, “we’ll train you to be the strongest. Mr. Kurosawa here will be in charge of that, and he’ll be your mentor until you get big, understand?”

Shizuka nodded at that, “Yes, Mr.” She said. Daigo nodded and stood back up, clearing his throat. “You’ve done this for quite a while now, Kurosawa. I’m entrusting you in teaching this kid, well.”

Kurosawa nodded and sighed, “Yes, sir. Understood.”

Daigo nodded once more and walked away, leaving the two alone yet again. The young man looked at Shizuka, “we’ll worry about the whole training later… would you like some tempura?”

Shizuka nodded, her expression turning happy once again, “Yep! I like shrimp!” She said, following her mentor again, like a lost kitten, clutching on her plush that she still hasn’t let go.

‘Update: The day is September 21st, only two days until Shizuka turns 20, and the day she’ll be assigned, or forced to be put into a gang. She’d definitely hate to have some sort of celebration, so it’d be best if she were just to meet new people instead.’

’It had been 13 years since my last update. The only reason why I stopped was because I found myself in wanting to look after her and take care of her. Whether or not it was my job, I still felt that I had to do something.’

’She’s a full fledged assassin now with at least 100+ kills… of people that definitely need be rid of this world.’

‘Still remains reserved as ever. But her attitude has changed, younger she was definitely curious and a bit timid, quick to change her demeanor as well.’

’She’s appeared more colder and quiet, keen and observant. Small smiles here and there, as well as expressions softening, but I’d assume it’s usually at home or when she’s alone.’

’I think she’d get along well with the others. They’ve never met as kids or teens, and the boss would’ve preferred for them to meet at a much more “mature age”, with conversing and getting to know one another.’

’I looked at the small notes and information that we had on this new gang we’ve established.’

’Personally, I think she’d get well along with Ashido, her bubbly and quite cheery personality can contrast with Shizuka’s quiet self, maybe soften her up a bit. Unsure how the dynamic between herself and Bakugo would be, now that’s definitely a contrast. Loud and aggressive but determined against a reserved, observant sort of shadow.’

’My update and personal opinion will end here. I see potential in this next gang, who we have decided to name this newfound “family” ‘Onyx Unit’.’

‘The only gang our focus will be on. They will turn out strong, and will go through many phases and challenges but I know that they’ll all form into something special, even if it’s just the beginning.’

Present day…

The city was quiet. The world looked gray, felt empty, cold. Wind blew, and the breeze made her shiver. Glass from buildings were scattered into fragments, dried blood was shed of the many bodies that had been taken. Shizuka felt cold, felt that her heart that had been blocked off, broken.

The comms that she had on had broke, the static being the only thing heard. She walked, took slow steps, limping.

The scar underneath her left eye felt larger than before, burning from a cut that she gotten due to her fights with other people from the gang enemy they tried to stop, tried to prevent from stepping into the territory of IronHall and Osaka.

Her clothes were dirty, built up from her blood and sweat, slightly torn here and there from blades and gunshots that nearly hit her.

She couldn’t hear anybody, not anybody she recognized. Cries of children were heard, with the shushing of their mother calming them down from inside homeless shelters.

The war had gone into chaos, and luckily nobody except their own mafia members were injured. Which was bad because that mean their own people were in hospitals or recovering..

She couldn’t hear Mina, couldn’t hear Katsuki’s yelling or Iida’s lecturing or even Midoriya’s muttering. Hopefully they were okay, safe… wherever they were.

Shizuka continued walking, taking in the scenery and silence. It was deafening, and she really hated it when she was alone. When it was quiet and just herself and her roaming thoughts.

Having the habit of overthinking was a bad thing, meaning anything could happen or might have happened and she has no idea… let alone the fact that she tends to have inner conflicts with herself.

She walked and clenched what was in her pocket, in it being a small keychain of a heart-shaped grenade.

The hothead himself insisted it was the only thing her favorite store had, and that he could’ve gotten her another dagger for her but she already had two and a revolver, and convincing her (he didn’t) that grenades and explosives are way better than some blade.

And she always kept anything that was gifted to her, even if it was paper or letters, she’d tape it to her small notebooks.

Mina questioned her about the grenade keychain, and Shizuka also tried to convince herself that she kept it simply because it looked cool, earning a smug grin from her (best) friend.

Shizuka wondered where they were. What they were doing and who they were with. Her phone was broken, and as much as she could run from rooftop to rooftop trying to find them, she didn’t.

Didn’t bother trying to look for them. The feeling of dread had just settled in, the weight of everything on her shoulders, her emotions and thoughts. This all happened in less than nearly 2 days.

She was always the one to zone out and be observant, but on the inside of her head it always felt like something pulled her back.

A shadow, a sort of dark energy would grab her by the arms and pull her back, to let her drown. The others had always suggested she get therapy but Shizuka refused because she wasn’t depressed at all or anything.

As much as she cared about them, she knew they were gonna be okay. She let the ringing in her ears get stronger and the feeling of being alone settle in.

The big bad war they fought in between Tokyo, Osaka and Yokohama were always brutal… and always ended with the same outcome.

This war wasn’t exactly a war, more of a fight and conflict between the three major cities of Japan, and absolute power of each other.

The city would look dull and ugly, and not for another 4 years would it happen, let alone this war being the first war they’d ever gotten involved in.

She walked, and into the large lake of Sakai looking as dirty as ever. Eventually reaching a quiet part of the city, she stood there, her eyes dull as she looked at what was in front of her.

Desperately, she convinced herself that they were okay. That she’d be able to see them again, to possibly pat Katsuki on the head instead of swatting him and say “not surprised you survived” and then get a huge hug from Mina.

And possibly start crying, quietly to herself because they won, in a way. But Shizuka was alone, by herself and walking, and despite having lived in Osaka her whole life, she lost her sense of direction.

And because they weren’t home, weren’t next to her, walking as if everything was normal. No banter, no chaos.

They were dead. Gone… all because Kurai thought that going alone was best. Thought that they’d be safe and sound if she wasn’t with them.

But she was wrong, wrong in the many different ways. They were a damn team, a family, to be exact. Working together in missions, living together like roommates.

Shizuka failed to save them, to make sure that they were safe, and that had always been her goal, to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves, the innocent that had families.

Even if they could fight and were always badass while doing it, saying a few last words to them would’ve been nice. The only reason she left was because she felt that she could handle the leader of the rival gang, having a large history with Yokohama’s gang.

Immediately she fell to her knees, feeling her shoulder send a sharp pain and her head aching. She looked in front of her to see the body of Katsuki himself, laying there lifeless and dull, crimson eyes unblinking, staring at the sky.

“Damnit, no…” she muttered, feeling her throat tighten as a lump formed. The ringing in her ears came back, and she curled up, clutching her stomach. “No… no…! No! This can’t be happening!! They’re not dead! They’re not gone!! I DIDN’T FAIL!” She yelled, her dull eyes filling up with tears, beginning to fall down.

”I hate this… this isn’t possible!” She said, her heart beating fast and running a hand through her hair, to only grip on it tight.

She sobbed, “It’s not real! It’s just a dream… Katsuki isn’t dead and Mina is still smiling!! They’re just holograms, it’s not them…!”

She felt her head hurt and her body feel more colder as she looked at his body. The scar across his cheek splattered in more blood. Gunshots wounds on his chest. He looked pale. Shizuka felt her breathing get heavy, “It’s not… him…” she said, slowly reaching over to poke at his cheek.

”Technology is fucking crazy these days…” she choked out, more tears spilling. “Just a hologram..”

She stayed knelt down, curled up against the body, her head resting against his chest. She didn’t feel a heartbeat. It wasn’t a hologram. It was real. 

Her heart shattered, sped up more and more until she let herself cry, let herself think of the fact that she’s the only one that survived in the Onyx Unit.

She heard a gunshot ring in her ears, and felt her heart completely break. Her eyes widened, stumbling onto the floor.

Chapter Text

As it’s No Longer There

Panicked, she woke up drenched in sweat, heart beating rapidly and eyes wide as she gasped awake. Shizuka felt her body tremble after what had just happened. What she just dreamt was the worst one yet.

Her breathing was uneven, and her hands trembled slightly from fear. Swinging her legs off the edge of her bed, she stood up slowly. This was all real. She was still home, in the comfort of her own room.

Her heart couldn’t calm down, and she couldn’t help but shiver. Pressing a hand against her chest, it was beating to the point she could hear it.

Her eyes turned to check the time. 2 in the morning, just after midnight, and the next few hours everyone would be awake.

Slowly, Shizuka opened the door to her room, walking out and into the hallway of the Onyx Unit home. She put her shaky hands into her pockets, heading downstairs toward the kitchen and grabbing a cup, pouring water into it from the fridge. 

She sat down on a stool and gulped it down, her eyes again feeling heavy as she sighed shakily in relief, her heart rate dropping to normal, closing her eyes for a moment. 

She sat there for a few moments, zoning out. All she could think about was the nightmare itself. She’s witnessed dead bodies in reality before and kills for a living…

A simple nightmare shouldn’t have affected her this badly. But it had her friends in it, which is why she felt so shaken up. It had people that she genuinely got along with and cared about.

Getting up from the stool, she walked back up, passing the hallway to the rooms and out to one of the balconies, quietly opening the slide-in door and stepping outside.

She sat down on one of the couched chairs and just hugged herself, if it was possible, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head.

The air felt cool, and the wind breezed by softly, giving her a small sense of comfort after feeling warm in her near panic.

I’ve always liked looking at the sky. Either sunsets or when the moon is out, she thought, and did exactly that, her head lifting up to just see the view of the city.

It really is nice.

She stood up and walked towards the railing. It wasn’t silent anymore, and she could faintly hear crickets chirping, the occasional breeze again and the feel of her hair brushing against her face.

The nightmare could be about the deaths, but also because of how isolated she felt. How broken and lost she was.

She leaned her head against the railing, arms under her. A lump formed, and it hurt to swallow, a tear running down, her face heating up as small tears formed again.

I feel trapped. Feel like I can’t breathe. That damn shadow is pulling me back.

To her, it always felt like she was closed off. A shadow pulling her back and her thoughts spiraling into negativity.

I’ve known this gang for 5 years… is there anything else missing? 

Her grip tightened on the railing, and her head lifted just a bit to see the view again. 

Don’t we already do enough…? Why continue working when nothing is going on…?

The ringing in her ears came back. And she just stared at the city, noticing how blurry the lights looked as tears dropped.

If I was never forced into this. If I had just ran away in the first place, I wouldn’t have gone through all this. Given myself that shitty scar and made everything worse than it already was.

Her grip tightened on her other hand, and she felt her knee lift up.

I don’t think I’m worth it. The point of living is to have fun and work every single day. I feel the damn weight of the work… it’s all too much.

Mina can cheer me up but it’s only for a brief moment… and then the same thoughts spiral back again.

Why do they bother talking to me…?

Her heart pounded again, finding herself standing at the edge, now in front of the railing instead of behind it, hands clenching against it, just half of her foot at the edge.

They’re better off without me. I’m the problem with my mental state, and if I just die, they don’t have to worry anymore…

Shizuka leaned over, one of her hands letting go of the railing, the other still gripping. She stared at the city, and reached out. Her dull eyes gave a faint gleam within Osaka’s city lights.

She surrendered, and let go. Time itself felt to slow down as she leaned forward, her hands grabbing a hold of nothing but the cold air.

The feeling of the mental weight seemed to let go. And her mind was blank with not a single thought. 

The inner struggle just seemed to disappear as she fell.

Immediate and suddenly, a rough pair of hands gripped on hers, and her eyes widened, looking up to see Bakugo, her gaze meeting his own expression that showed nothing but an intense concern.

“So this is what you were hiding?” He said, his voice frustrated and concerned at once. He pulled her up, and Shizuka could only dangle, trying to process it. 

She felt like she could see again, her vision going blurry for a second before it went clear.

Her hand grabbed onto the concrete of the balcony floor, and Bakugo felt his breath get shaky— scared— for a split second until he managed to pull her up, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up.

They stumbled onto the floor, and Shizuka stayed quiet, clenching her fist. Bakugo was knelt down beside her, hands hovering around her waist.

Shizuka let out a shaky breath, staying silent. I just needed saving… yet…

“I was this close to falling. I couldn’t feel anything underneath me…” she muttered, voice barely audible.

Bakugo didn’t say anything yet, and sighed as he just let his hand rest on her shoulder. “How long have you been feeling this way?” He asked, voice soft… not that she hasn’t heard it before.

Shizuka sat up on her knees, looking at the concrete. “… For a while now.” She said, and Bakugo stayed quiet, looking at her.

“You should’ve told me… or Mina, or anyone for that matter..” he said, standing up and holding out his hand.

Shizuka blinked, taking his hand in hers as she stood up and walked back inside.

They walked back into the home, Bakugo taking Shizuka to her room. Once they got there, Bakugo shoved his hands in his pockets. “Don’t do that shit again, you hear me..?” He said, glancing at her, his crimson eyes narrowed yet still holding concern.

Shizuka sat on the edge of her bed, looking at him and nodding. She opened her mouth to speak but he continued.

“I’m not gonna tell anyone else about this. They’d all freak out about it…” he said, then faced her.

Shizuka sighed, running a hand across her face. “I—I just feel isolated…” she admitted, “… feel like I’m not enough. I… want to just… not worry about everything so much… everything just took a toll on me. The damn job, all of it..”

The weight shifted next to her, his shoulder pressing against hers softly. “You hesitated back there.” Bakugo said, “You just stood there.”

Shizuka looked at the floor. “Because it scared me..”

Bakugo turned his head to her, “And why feel like worrying when you know damn well the people here— we always make sure nobody is carrying everything on their own.” 

Shizuka paused at that, another sigh escaping her. She felt defeated, relieved, and hopeful. She didn’t say anything yet, and continued to let him speak.

Bakugo’s own expression seemed to soften, as he looked ahead and huffed softly.

”In this… underworld… it’s shitty and dangerous, chaotic and absolute hell. But the worst thing you can do is make someone think they’re not wanted or loved.” He said, and Shizuka turned to look at him, feeling her expression soften.

“This Onyx Unit cares about you, Shizuka. And… the last thing I want is to lose the person I want to get strong with.” He muttered, and unexpectedly, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and lower back, holding her protectively for a bit. A hug.

He was never one for physical contact, and neither was she. And yet, Shizuka closed her eyes and let herself lean against him, her arms wrapping around his waist, her forehead resting against his shoulder.

”Thank you, Katsuki.” she finally muttered.

Bakugo didn’t say anything, only felt his grip tighten a little, and pressed his forehead against the top of her head. 

Chapter Text

“You… what?” Mina asked, looking at Shizuka with a surprised expression and concern seeping in. Her hands were covering her mouth, eyes on the verge of watering.

”… I tried to… jump off.” She muttered, not being able to see her gaze. The room went silent after that, the mood shifting into worry when she admitted it.

It had been 5 days since the conversation between Bakugo and Shizuka, and as much as Bakugo wanted it to be kept between them, it quickly slipped out.

And because Mina started pressuring him to say something and Midoriya quickly grew worried, he didn’t feel like hiding it anymore and ended up telling them what had happened.

And during those past five days, Shizuka had been her usual reserved self, but she was also more calm, as always.

Her narrowed eyes were softer, and she’d only glare when she’s annoyed, on a small mission or even in the mornings in general, looking like a pissed off pouty cat.

Her demeanor was the same, but it seemed like she didn’t want to hide how she actually felt, either.

Her responses were a bit softer, and during any missions she’d make sure everybody had what they needed, cooperative as always but also looking out for the others.

She wouldn’t zone out at much, and if she did, she’d just blurt out a random thought, or just zone out because it’s in her habit.

It was calm for the majority of the day, Shizuka insisting she’d take a day off, and that lead to everybody else, yes — the whole gang — to stay as well.

They decided to take a stroll around Osaka, maybe go to stores and such.

Few hours later after doing her usual routine, Shizuka sat on one of the couches, her cheek resting on her palm as she just watched the TV, some random documentary playing.

Mina walked in a few minutes, humming softly, and she turned to see Shizuka sitting there. “Hey, Shizu…! How are you feeling?” She asked, walking towards her and plopping down on the couch.

Shizuka glanced over, her eyes seeming tired again but it was clear she still held on. “I’m doing alright,” she said, “a bit better, I’m glad I made the choice to stay here..”

Mina nodded at that and smiled softly, “Yeah, and honestly, after hearing about that, the whole gang just insisted on staying, too. We don’t want you to carry all of that alone…”

Shizuka nodded, her expression softening. “Yeah… thank you.

Occasionally Shizuka would find herself being alone, causing her ears to ring, hence it being too quiet.

She’d zone out, and end up thinking one thought after the other. Like a panic attack, without the panicking, just a bunch of overthinking while she was alone.

The silence would last for a few seconds, or even a minute until a crash would be heard, followed by a few bit of yelling and some laughing.

Time - 1:15 p.m

Location: Umeda, mall and shopping district in Osaka 

It would’ve been the time where the OU would have to head to the headquarters and do their usual routine there.

But considering Shizuka’s current state, and the gang’s stubbornness of letting her be by herself, all decided (excluding Shizuka) that they would head out again.

It would waste some of their time, in a good way, but nothing serious had been going on at IronHall, either.

Nobody else in the organization had a clue, not that they needed to know, but some people had noticed Shizuka being more quiet and less of giving that intimidating and reserved aura she’d always have.

They walked around the Umeda district, occasionally stopping by some window shops to look at things, and grabbing snacks.

While they were walking, Shizuka was a few feet behind, until Bakugo glanced over his shoulder to see her.

He stayed quiet, and then scoffed softly, slowing down just a bit as the two walked in step.

Shizuka glanced his way, her gaze looking ahead again. “You don’t have to worry about me, if that’s what you were going to do.”

”… I shouldn’t, but I want to. So deal with it.” He said, hearing a small sigh come from her.

”Is it that bad…?” She asked, and Bakugo glanced at her. He had a feeling he knew what she was referring to.

”To just… feel like disappearing.” Shizuka said, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I’m not hurting myself..! So why worry..?”

”It’s a serious thing and you know that. Sure, you’re not hurting yourself, but you are mentally.”

”I’m perfectly fine..! Just a few screws loose but I’m okay..!! I—“ she paused, her breathing shaky for a few seconds before she shook her head internally and took a deep breath.

”I just don’t want to talk about it… I wanna move past it—“

He interrupted her, looking ahead as well, “If you move past it quickly, that’s not really healing. We’re concerned because we care, if that wasn’t obvious. You need to take your time, even it’ll be a slow process. Those damn idiots and I aren’t gonna stop trying to help, either.”

Shizuka didn’t say much, knowing she couldn’t really win the conversation against him. She just nodded, “Uh, yeah… no, you’re right.” She muttered.

Bakugo grumbled softly, his narrowed eyes turning ahead again. They walked silently, with the rest of the gang only 6 steps ahead.

The sun slowly started to rise, the morning afternoon approaching. 

After a few more minutes of walking, the gang came to a stop, reaching the Nakanoshima park, the narrow area with a few people walking or sitting on benches.

Shizuka just tiled her head, looking at some of the flowers, taking a deep breath.

It was calming, for sure, and despite trying to manage her wellbeing, she already felt restless with not doing anything at all.

She sat on a bench, putting her hands in her pockets. 

She could hear that chirps of birds, and distant chattering among other people.

The sky slowly grew more gray, the sun hiding behind clouds.

Shizuka felt water drops fall, and she looked up at the sky. It was indeed raining, light sprinkles of water.

A lump formed in her throat, and suddenly it hurt to swallow. She rubbed her eyes, managing to stop any tears from falling.

She didn’t know why she started to tear up. She didn’t feel sad at all, maybe just a random wave of sadness.

Or maybe the fact that she really likes nature and got emotional.

Her name was called, and she looked over to see the others standing, beckoning her to follow.

Shizuka stood up, and put her hands in her pockets, following them, as the rain slowly fastened.