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Nick had been hesitant to invite his brother and father to his wedding. Actually, he didn’t want to invite them at all. Especially not his father who had never supported any part of Nick’s journey since he came out as bisexual at the age of sixteen. David had been, for the most part, his same sarcastic and dickish self. Up until a year and a half before the wedding when there had been a massive blow up between David and Stephane.
Radio silence followed for the next five months or so.
Then Sarah got information from her former in laws whom she still had a good relationship with. They were still her sons’ grandparents and they were fairly friendly. Definitely accepting of Nick and Charlie and couldn’t wait to attend the wedding. Apparently, the fight had happened at their house and it had ended with an inconsolable Yvette, Claude who was trying to wait until his son left to cry, and David who was in turmoil and feeling as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest and shattered on the floor.
The only part of the fight that Sarah had known was that David had eloped. She was the first he told and he’d begged her not to tell anyone else. What she hadn’t known at the time was that his wife was pregnant. David wanted to go to his grandparents house because loathe as he was to admit, his little brother had changed him. He wasn’t good at showing or expressing it, but seeing Nick and Charlie’s relationship had made him think. He had been an adult at the age of twenty-two when Nick came out. Sure, he wasn’t the pinnacle of maturity, but he was the older brother and he really should’ve acted more like it instead of a bully.
Francine had changed him too. Green eyes, light blond hair, and a passion for her career, she came for post graduate studies and tolerated no nonsense. After overhearing that she’d broken up with her ex, David tried to pursue her. She refused to take shit from him and it irritated him. He couldn’t get to her the same as he did with any other ex. He made the mistake of saying that out loud and received a verbal lashing. She told him she was willing to make friends, but not with assholes who decide to waste everyone’s time.
She’d finished it with “if you’ve had poor luck treating girls-or anyone for that matter-the same as you’ve been doing, take a good, long look in the mirror and think about why that might be the case. Who even are you?”
David had grown quiet after that and was avoiding people until she caught him poring over a card that had store printed ‘congratulations’ in it.
“It’s not for you for finally finishing the program, is it?” Francine joked. “You’ve been here forever, I’m already partially teaching here.”
“I finished last term. I’m doing extra stuff and I need quiet to work on this because my housemates are annoying.”
“I thought you were in your own flat?”
“Couldn’t afford it-why are you wasting your time on someone beneath you?”
Francine’s brows rose.“I don’t recall saying that. You’d have to be pretty low bar to be beneath me. Like a serial killer, which I doubt you are. You aren’t, are you?”
David rolled his eyes. “Absolutely. Only a deranged sociopathic killer would be struggling to congratulate his little brother’s boyfriend on finishing uni.”
“Aw, you have a heart.”
“It won’t mean anything to them, just so you know. I am beneath you…and them.”
“Jesus, what did I actually say? Because I’m starting to think I sent you spiraling.”
“Yeah, my family issues are your fault.” David said dryly.
“Why don’t we start with his name?”
“I can’t…” David closed the card.
“So dramatic of you. Why can’t you?”
“Not his biggest fan.”
“Are you still the same homophobic arse you were when they met?”
“State it more bluntly, why don’t you?”
Francine thought about it. “Don’t think I can, really.”
“I don’t-I don’t want to be. But they’ll never believe I changed. I’ve had my twenties to be someone else.”
“You’ve had your twenties? How old are you? I assumed mid-twenties when we met.”
“I’m just about twenty-seven. My brother’s twenty-three and his boyfriend’s twenty-two.”
“How long have they been together?”
“Er…fi-siiiix years? Nick was sixteen, Charlie er…fourteen or fifteen.”
“Roughly seven years, then.”
“Maths wasn’t my major.”
“Uh-huh, blame that. Do they know you’re trying to be less of a prick?”
“Maybe? I’ve been trying to be on birthday and Christmas card terms. My brother’s got a year left of school before he starts teaching.”
“Ooo what year?”
“He’s thinking somewhere in primary. He wants kids to have more support than er…some people he knows. Or something like that. I mean, nothing he can do about divorced parents, but he can help kids who struggle early enough…sod it, I’ll just put ‘congrats, Charlie’.”
“Is that it? His efforts are only worth a ‘congrats, Charlie’?”
“He’s doing journalism stuff and publishing, I dunno. It’s not rocket science-”
“What would you write if he was into rocket science? Or engineering or medical?”
“Er…congratulations, Charlie?”
She stared at him. “Is that beneath a scientist or doctor?”
“Er-”
“He could publish medical journals with the aide of people in those fields. If he’s got something to say that he’s passionate about, he’s going to say it. I think that takes a different sort of bravery than what you might consider typical, but it’s still brave to put your thoughts all out there into the public. Plus, writing is a good outlet for your feelings.”
“And you’ve hit the keyword. You haven’t come here to listen to me spin a tale I’m not really part of. I’m not…I don’t think I can speak on it.”
“Just because you’re not the gay one, doesn’t mean family issues only burden Nick.”
“Bi.”
“Oh, if that’s the end of the conversation…”
“No, Nick’s bisexual.”
“Oh…my statement still applies-” Her alarm went off “-and I’ve got to get to class. Why don’t we meet here at six and we’ll go somewhere where I can help you out with this? You need it.”
“Fine.”
“Be warned, my brother lives nearby and I’ll be telling him exactly where I am.”
“Ye of little faith.”
“Doesn’t feel like it would be entirely misplaced.”
David frowned as she left. No girl had ever really expressed concern about being alone with him. Or threatened him until Charlie’s sister did. Tori was the first, and so far only, girl he actually felt a semblance of fear from. He had a feeling that Francine wouldn’t need to call her brother, she seemed well equipped to handle herself. But…David didn’t want to treat her like the others. He truly had thought about it and he did apply his poor relations with the rest of his family towards how he treated girls.
I know I should’ve be treating you like a brother. Tori’s more an older sibling to Nick than I am and I fear and respect her for that. You were only fifteen when we met and I was an adult who had no business being nasty to anyone, let alone a minor. I doubt it would mean much, but I’m sorry. It’s brave of you to want to put yourself out there, however it may be. I really do wish you luck in your endeavors.
Nick had called much later to thank him for the card. By that time, wedding invitations had started going out for the next summer after Nick would graduate. David had heard the family excitedly talking about it.
“This is rather awkward because erm…Charlie and I haven’t decided the full guest list.” Nick said. “We sent invitations to those we er-we knew we had on it since we started talking about it like Mum and his family…and uh-just some things were…erm-”
“I get it. I’m not mad. Could I at least be allowed to send a gift?”
“It’s not figured out yet, but yeah.”
Silence fell for a moment.
“Nick?”
“Still here? I wasn’t sure if you had more to say.”
“I…no. I don’t think I cou-I don’t think I do. Bye.”
“Bye.”
…
Nick told Charlie what his mum told him and that it had come from Yvette, Claude, and eventually David. The time that David and Francine spent together had softened him to feelings and they had started dating. They kept it on the quieter side because David didn’t want to hear his father’s reaction. The main reason David had been awkward was because Francine was pregnant and both of them wanted to be in a stable, married relationship. Not just because of the baby, but because they were in love. But they didn’t want to put it so close to Nick and Charlie’s wedding, but they didn’t want the baby bump in pictures, so they eloped.
The reason David was at his paternal grandparents’ house was because of questions he’d had as a kid that his dad squashed immediately and ordered him not to talk to Nick about it. The way he’d sounded that day sent fear into him at age seven. Stephane had shown up during the explanation and David confronted him. In the argument, David had spilled that Nick was getting married after graduation in his explanations of how he didn’t care to even know what his sons were up to. Stephane rolled his eyes.
“Fine, what is he going to school for?”
“He’s already doing an internship at a primary school. He’s going to be a teacher.”
“Teaching rugby?”
“That’s a hobby, Dad. It’s general education in the younger years, last time we spoke.”
“You speak to him? Are you invited to the wedding?”
“I might not be able to go. I have a wife and child.”
Stephane looked like he’d been clubbed in the head. “You…WHY HAVE YOU KNOCKED UP SOME HARLOT?!”
David was furious. “She is not ‘some harlot’, I love her.”
Stephane scoffed. “You know nothing of love.”
“I’m surprised you ever did.”
“I knew and dated your mother far more than a few months and it was even later that we married before having you, David.”
“I knew Francine for about three years. Yeah, our romantic relationship came a bit fast after our friendship, but she knows how much I’ve changed.”
“Changed? You’re the same, David, but you’ve knocked up a girl this time. Did you even tell your mother you eloped? Or your brother?”
“We told her after the fact and I came here to tell your parents. Nick doesn’t know yet and I’m not going to until after he’s born. It’s a boy and I’m naming him Jeremie.”
“You are not.” Stephane said darkly. “You aren’t keeping it either.”
“He isn’t an unwanted accident. We discussed at length and decided we want him and we can name him whatever we want. And if you wanted me to get a good sense of a proper relationship or how to treat people, you should’ve worked on yourself first before having kids.”
Stephane kept doubling down and being angry with his parents and son. Then Claude kicked him out once Yvette had gone to her room in tears. He said he was tired of trying to play middleman. He was disappointed in his son and would stand by his grandsons, no longer willing to watch the slowly dragging aftereffects of the train wreck that was his son. David apologized to his grandparents once his father left. Claude told him he didn’t need to, that he had been a victim of how his father raised him.
“It should be me who’s apologizing. We still love him, he’s our son. But you boys should’ve gotten better. I should’ve raised better.”
David was invited and came to the ceremony by himself. Stephane had tried to show up, but was told to leave. David heard him angrily cursing in French. Nick told David that their dad called, upset that Nick was marrying Charlie. He was under the impression that Nick had been going through a phase at sixteen and was now marrying a woman.
“You both looked sharp, though I’m surprised Charlie’s mum wasn’t fussing with his hair.” David said.
“Oh, she tried. It’s impossible. It’s one of the things I love about him on a list too long to rattle off at the moment. How are you and Francine?”
“Good. She was actually expecting during the argument, it’s-it’s what it was about…er-sorry, we’ve been a bit lacking, I’m just…I didn’t want to steal your thunder and I’m not ready. Mum’s met him, but she’s all I’m willing to let in just because I’m…scared.”
“What about Francine’s family?”
“Erm…her parents are not in the picture for reasons she told me about and she doesn’t have any other family.”
“I could’ve sworn you mentioned a brother.”
“She thought brother sounded more threatening than best friend.”
Nick laughed. “You weren’t jealous about her having a guy best friend?”
“No, because he’s in a relationship and the two of them were never in love.”
“I would’ve gone to your wedding.”
“Thanks, but neither of us were really for ceremony. But, if we decide to renew vows in the future or take formal pictures, then you can be there, but you’ll need to be in suits.”
“You want me to wear more than one?”
“You and Charlie. You’re my brothers and I should act like an older sibling like Tori.”
Nick told Charlie who responded in the background, but David couldn’t quite hear.
“We’d like that.” Nick said. “Charlie and I believe that you’re trying. But I have something quite serious to request of you.”
“Quite serious?”
“Yes. We want to see our baby nephew while he’s still a baby.”
David laughed. “Alright, you can come next week.”
…
Jeremie had been welcomed into the Spring side of the family. David and Francine were expecting their second child around the time that Emilio Spring passed away. Kathleen Spring sort of took Francine as an unofficial daughter and the younger woman was fine with that. Francine said she didn’t have much of a story, her parents had decided they didn’t want to be her parents and dumped her in a random town at around the age of five. She said she would’ve felt better about it if they went through the process of legally giving her up rather than making her excited about a trip and leaving her.
Charlie and Nick were struggling in their attempt to adopt. Originally, they wanted to start with a baby, but for some reason, Charlie’s past was being used against him. They opened up to foster care and said they didn’t mind any age. They just wanted to be a kid’s parent. Then, Francine and the baby died in childbirth and David was a wreck. Sarah was watching Jeremie most days and sometimes Kathleen would come out to visit. Then, Christmas that year, David asked his brother to meet him at their mum’s house. So, they did the day after with Jeremie at the Springs.
“I didn’t want Charlie to be out of the loop.” Nick said once David arrived. Sarah had made tea and brought biscuits out.
“Yeah, sorry, I meant to say you could…forgetting everything, aren’t I?” David sighed, slumping in his chair, his face unlike anything Nick or Sarah had ever seen. Sarah hugged him. “I’m too close to having Jeremie taken from me.”
“What happened?” Nick asked.
“I’ve not had the energy to do the laundry and I forgot to bring it here.”
“Being smelly for a few days is grounds for taking him?”
“That’s more in addition to multiple other accounts of neglect and there’s only so much they can excuse grief. I don’t mean to neglect him. I have no idea how I even get out of bed sometimes, let alone be able to make him a school lunch or give him money to get some from school. I’ve also been late on drop off and pick ups. I know he deserves better.”
“Social services should give advice, not just threats.” Charlie said.
“They have, but it all feels so muddled. I can’t do it. I can’t focus. I barely eat, I can’t sleep normally and I just…can’t. Which is why I-I want to ask…both of you and Mum if you could take him in for a bit?”
“Of course we would.” Sarah said. Nick and Charlie nodded. “Does Jeremie know any of what you’re asking us?”
“Sorta…”
David watched as Jeremie flew a toy plane around. He tried to smile. He should feel happy watching his kid play. But the smell of sweat hit him. He hadn’t gone to his mother’s house to do laundry. He had no idea how much underwear either of them had left.
“Er…hey, mate.” Jeremie stopped playing and looked over. “You haven’t done anything wrong…I have. I’ve…”
Jeremie sat down next to him, nose wrinkling slightly. David tried not to look guilty. His own personal hygiene was worse. At least Jeremie showered decently on his own.
“What did you do wrong?”
“I’ve not been paying attention to you.”
The boy shrugged. “It’s okay. I can play alone.”
“It’s not that, it’s about how clean your clothes are and how well you eat. Things I should be looking out for as your dad. You know that the grown ups at school are only concerned about you. They don’t mean us harm.”
“What does that mean?”
“Sometimes grown ups are worried kids aren’t being treated right. They just want to make sure you are.”
“I am…right?”
“Not really. Sorry.”
“But you don’t yell or hit ’n stuff.”
“There are other ways that kids don’t get treated well. You should have clean clothes, I should be making sure you don’t make a mess in the shower, and I should be making sure you have three good meals a day-I mean good for your body. Cheese sandwiches every day isn’t that nutritious of a meal.”
“But you always say you’re not trying to be mean.”
“I do and I’m not trying to be mean. Grief is…it’s…I dunno how to explain it, but it’s different for everyone and grieving while trying to take care of a kid is…well, I never imagined what it would be like, so I didn’t-this might be too much for you. I’m thinking that I need to ask for help.”
“Do I have to go away?”
“I won’t dump you on the streets, mate. I’d ask grandma or Uncle Nick and Charlie. I’d want you to stay in the family.”
Jeremie sighed in relief. “I thought I would have to live in a orph-orpha-”
“Orphanage. They do more foster care these days to get kids adopted. They still would be strangers and I wouldn’t want you with strangers.”
“I wanna live with Uncle Nick and Uncle Charlie and Daisy…but I’m still your son?”
“Yes. If you want to think of Nick and Charlie as your dads too, that’s fine. It would be until I can learn to take care of myself and you again. I think I forgot how to do that.”
“Mommy said never be scared to ask for help.”
“Yeah.”
“I worry it sounds like I’m abandoning him with you guys. That he’ll think that. I know I should just suck it up and-”
“Pretend you’re okay when you’re not?” Nick said, shaking his head. “That wouldn’t be a great idea. I think you should work on yourself.”
“We’d be okay taking him in until you can get back on your feet.” Charlie said. David looked at him. “I have noticed growth, you know? Francine really was the best for you. She wouldn’t want you to do something you’d regret.”
“I’d regret if I tried to regress into not feeling anything. I wanted to go back. That-that-I dunno what to call it, but it used to be comfort.”
“Keeping in your emotions and guarding yourself with snark and anger. Not a great idea. You’re thinking of the old, toxic security blanket. Your new security was in her. But you know, you still have all of us. We saw you change for the better and we’re here for you.”
“Darling, you know I’ve always been here.” Sarah said. “I want what’s best for both you and Jeremie. Having a grandchild doesn’t mean my son is less important. Whatever you need to do on your journey, we’ll make certain Jeremie knows that this is best for both of you. We won’t ever abandon you two nor will we make him think you abandoned him. You’re actually doing one of the hardest things you could as a parent. Even temporarily, you’re giving him a better environment to live in while you stabilize your own.”
“W-would you have-?” David’s voice caught. He shook his head. “It wouldn’t make sense…”
“Would I have done it?” Sarah asked. Her eyes went to Nick who nodded slightly. “Well, say your father wasn’t a choice and I was having struggles like this. If I could barely remember to feed you and Nick and I could barely keep up appearances and your aunt Diane offered to take you boys in for a while I fixed things, yes. It would’ve been difficult, but I’d have done what was necessary to provide a home you need.”
“It’s not forever, but you don’t want your grief to be forever.” Nick said.
“We’re not going to erase you or Francine from his life.” Charlie said. “We’ll make sure he knows it was for both of you.”
Jeremie ended up going to school close to Sarah for the term and popped in at Nick and Charlie’s. He wasn’t there a lot when Izzy first came because she was wary and a lot of other things were going on. He visited Kathleen in the summer and worried that Izzy didn’t like him. But then when he came back, he was going to be placed at the same school Nick taught at. Izzy started seeing him as a brother once she was told a little about Francine and could relate a little to being basically abandoned.
David visited, making sure to remind Jeremie he still loved him and still wanted him. Jeremie said he didn’t feel bothered. He didn’t understand everything, he was a bit young, but he understood what he always did: you can’t help me if you can’t help yourself. He added that he was fine waiting however long David needed to be his dad again.