Chapter Text
It was a relatively normal day, or as normal as it could be at a store where 2 ex-hitmen (one with a billion yen bounty on his head) and ex-mafioso worked.
The usual bickering between Shin and Shaotang, Shin witnessing himself being murdered in twenty different ways in the Bossman's thoughts, the stream of hitmen and their poor attempts to kill Mr.Sakamoto.
Yea, a perfectly normal day.
Until you showed up.
Cheery smile that bordered on creepy, bandages on nearly every conceivable part of you — arms, neck, face — wearing a large white shirt with what could only be described as uniquely disturbing artwork made using what looked suspiciously like blood, and the most ridiculous pants that had about 20 different pockets.
Shin would've just chalked you up to be just another colourful figure in the neighbourhood if it weren't for Sakamoto's reaction – worry, or something akin to it. The alarm on the Bossman's face made Shin question if you were some high ranking assassin he'd never heard of.
And if Mr.Sakamoto's reaction didn't set off his fight or flight, the fact that he couldn't read your mind certainly did. On the surface you didn't look all that impressive — but neither did Sakamoto and he's literally THE legendary assassin.
But alas, all those assumptions were immediately proven wrong when you tripped spectacularly at the entrance, with a sound so loud he wondered if you cracked your skull.
“OW WHAT THE HELL MAN?!” You screamed as if you'd been shot, “That thing was NOT there last time I was here” you say glaring at the door guides that had literally been there forever.
Then looking at Mr.Sakamoto , you had the gall to point an accusing finger at him saying “YOU! You did that on purpose!” you accused, “Are you STILL hung up on when I accidentally dismantled all your guns?”.
‘How the hell do you dismantle that many guns by accident?!’ Shin thinks as he realises his theory of you being some master assassin was so far off that it bordered on offensive to all the actual professionals.
“Er.. Mr. Sakamoto, who the hell is she?” He asks tentatively as he watches you continue glaring at Sakamoto as if he was personally responsible for every misfortunate event in your life.
‘Viper is what they call her in the underworld’ Mr.Sakamoto says, or well, thinks.
There's a pause as Shin's brain processes the new information.
“VIPER?!” He says perplexed looking back and forth from Mr.Sakamoto and you, “You mean that stupidly famous hacker?! The one who hacked the JAA for fun before they offered her a job which she rejected?! That Viper?”,Shin looks back at you, no longer on the floor but standing tall, chest puffed with pride, “The one and only” you say grinning ear to ear before turning to Mr.Sakamoto, “SEE, I told you I'm legit, the populace loves me”
Mr.Sakamoto sighs so heavily one would think he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but no what elicited that sigh was you, the most empty-headed, imbecilic person Shin's ever met.
Shin thinks he's in shock, maybe having some kind of out-of-body experience as he tries to understand how you could possibly be the sought after informant in the underworld..
He returns back to his body, when he hears the Bossman say his name, “That's Shin the Clairvoyant, I used to work with him when we were still hitmen”
At the mention of his clairvoyance, you turn to him with literal stars in your eyes- how the hell-?
“YOU CAN SEE INTO THE FUTURE? THATS SO COOL DUDE CAN YOU SEE MINE, AM I RICH? STILL SEXY? STILL AWESOME?” You bombard him with questions, getting right up into his personal space like it was communal property.
Shin would've blushed at the proximity if it weren't for the fact that all he could focus on was the distinct indent of Hello Kitty on your forehead from where your bracelet got in the way of you trying to protect your skull from splitting open, although Shin doubted that it was protecting much.
“It's not that kind of clairvoyance", he says, cutting into your long list of questions about your future self, “I can just read minds” but that doesn't dull your spark as you somehow seemed even more fascinated.
“Holy shit, so like you can just hear what I'm thinking of right now? Wait, wait- what number am I thinking of” you say testing his abilities and he almost tries when he remembers, “I can't-” he starts before getting cut off immediately.
“Aw man why not, is it against your morals or something, in which case I give you full permission, go loco in there broski” as if verbal consent would change anything.
“I can't- I literally can't read your mind, you’re like immune or something” he divulges and almost regrets it as he watches your face fall, horror taking over your features.
“NOOO WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM IMMUNE?!” you scream, shaking him by the shoulders.
“Why the hell are you so heartbroken, who in their right mind wants their thoughts read?!” Shin screams back, baffled at your childish sobbing.
He might've almost felt joy at meeting someone who wasn't put off by the fact that he was in their head if it wasn't for the fact that you were more stupid than half the hitmen that they dealt with daily.
Shin feared for what would happen if you and Shaotang — who disappeared hours ago under the guise of taking a break — ever met.
“Only I would ever meet a mind reader and not be able to mentally scar them” you pouted like a 5 year old and while he'd build up immunity to most people’s weird and intrusive thoughts but something told him that he should be very glad that he can’t read your mind.
“What do you want Vi” Sakamoto asks you, done with your theatrics.
“Huh what did I come in here for…” you mumble before lighting up like you just had an epiphany, “OH YEA! Someone's tryna kill me! Isn't that awesome?” you say with a stupid smile on your face.
If Shin wasn't certain about your idiocy earlier it was certainly confirmed now because who is ever that happy about someone trying to kill them?!
Despite Mr.Sakamoto's unease at your appearance and the trail of chaos you left in your wake, he quickly slipped into what could only be described as Overprotective Dad Mode which made Shin wonder just how long you two had known each other.
“Who?” Was all that he asked and Shin was heavily reminded of the assassin he used to work with,the one who could take out a whole gang with nothing but a paperclip in 5 minutes flat.
“Relax old man, I already know who it is, heh, In fact I've got plans to pay them a little visit soon” you remark with a devious smile on your face and Shin could've sworn he saw a pair of horns and a tail appear on you.
“Oh yeah another thing, I kinda got sacked heh” you say like you were making a passing comment about the weather, “Something something about fires and starting riots blah blah details schmitals, so like mind giving me a job here? I'm FANTASTIC at retail!” you ask — plead really — with your hands clasped together and an attempt to give puppy eyes which honestly just looked like you were experiencing withdrawal.
“Hm sure” Mr.Sakamoto agrees too fast for Shin's comfort.
“Seriously?! She didn't even know how to enter the store and you're giving her a job?!” He asks flabbergasted, but not surprised, Mr.Sakamoto had a streak of such behaviour.
‘She's competent when it counts’ he thinks, shrugging his shoulders and going back to his third cup of ramen that day.
“Hell ya, thanks T! You're the best!!” You jump with joy, “I'll be here at 8, don't miss me too much while I'm gone” you say walking out, however the second part seems to be directed at Shin as you give him a quick wink and blow a kiss in his direction, nearly tripping at the door and eating pavement in the process but you managed to catch yourself in time, still waving enthusiastically at them before running off.
Shin decided to stock some extra bandages in the first aid kit and also make sure their fire safety protocols were up to date.
He had a feeling they were gonna need them.