Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Annabeth!” Percy yelled at the sealed car window. She had to stare ahead at the hazy, humidity-speckled windshield otherwise she’d beg Argus to turn around. Tears stained her forced stoic expression as Argus sped down the gravel road leading to the highway, her head falling to her lap as she clutched her chest.

Argus had never once spoken to her on a ride to the city to meet her dad - until now. She heard a faint, “Annabeth?” from his driver’s seat. She managed an, “I’m fine.” in between sobs cut short by the bumps in the country road. Annabeth clawed at the handle to hold herself upright against the side door, gasping for air as she rolled down the window. She clutched the outside of the car, mind flashing back to how it felt to be in Percy’s embrace in the labyrinth, somehow bringing her warmth in the labyrinth’s unforgiving, barren cold.

It was such an easy fix. He could have left Rachel safely at camp and gone to their movie. She hated how he acted like this was so impossible. It was three hours and, for how cluelessly they meandered around the labyrinth for days, it was absolutely three hours he could spare. It had been 5 weeks and she still hadn’t seen Order of the Phoenix because she wanted to wait for him to see it with her. He could have come home from Calypso’s island sooner. He could have kissed her before the battle to reassure her they would recover from this, even if they both knew what Luke was about to do.

He could have talked to her. It was an offer she left on the table until it was too painful to bear, forcing her hand to end their communication for her own sanity.

Annabeth didn’t even notice her surroundings becoming more and more populated as the car inched closer to the cruel reminder of what she once had. Of course, her way home had to be in his hometown. The city she visited every month throughout the school year, and where he’d stay up with her all night so she wouldn’t have nightmares after Mount Tam. How could he live with himself for throwing it all away?

She peeled herself off the door and into the car, rolling up the window. Annabeth calmed herself down enough to gather her belongings. She spotted the “Monster Donut!” sticker he stuck on her trunk after breaking into the Hephaestus cabin last year. Gnawing her lip in anger, she dug her chipped, lavender fingernails into the edge of the sticker and ripped it off, leaving behind residue and a faint remnant of the “M.” Annabeth glared at the trunk in anger, oblivious to her father calling her name outside of the taxi.

He knocked on the window, her having a stomach-churning sense of deja vu to five weeks prior, when Percy greeted her excitedly outside of her airport taxi. She was at the airport again, but to escape this awful reality she would have to accept sooner rather than later.

She blinked and reality took hold again, her father’s concerned face twisting into a look of horror as he saw her state. He hastily flung the door open, her trunk teetering on the edge of the seat. Annabeth broke down again, as Frederick desperately tried to pull the trunk out as fast as he could to get to her. He gathered her into his arms immediately, Annabeth’s frail figure collapsing as soon as she was safely engulfed by her father’s embrace.

“Baby?” he asked, rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down.

“They died,” she sobbed, “All of them. It’s my fault. And he -” she swallowed tears and coughed, “No. Please, can we go home?”

Annabeth felt her dad nod against the back of her neck. He reached behind her, propping the trunk on its wheels and haphazardly slinging her backpack over his shoulders as they walked into the airport. He cemented an arm around her, wheeling her trunk with the other, wobbling at its weight. Annabeth never complained about its weight and elected to overpack it, since a heavy trunk couldn’t hold a candle to what she had to bear the weight of last winter.

All throughout printing their boarding passes, security, boarding, and takeoff, Annabeth was silent. She hadn’t cried since she got out of the taxi, instead slowly and reluctantly swallowing the events that had unfolded over the last two hours. Frederick beckoned her to take the window seat in an attempt to make her feel better. He hadn’t asked her about Percy yet, which she was grateful of, truly. She smiled as she shuffled into the row, somberly stuffing her backpack underneath the seat in front of her.

She watched New York City dilate behind her as the plane took off, her eyes stinging as she abandoned the place and person she once called home.

Chapter Text

The first night was the worst. Unlike other teenagers her age, Annabeth couldn’t just roll over and doomscroll when she felt sad. She was forced to feel the weight of her situation and the deafening survivor’s guilt in waves and a torturous cycle, without the ability to contact the one person who understood exactly how she felt. She angrily sat up, throwing her stuffed elephant at the wall in front of her in anger stemming from resentment, surprisingly not about Percy but instead in reminiscence of how confident and carefree she was before Percy entered her life. Unfortunately, she equated meeting Percy with Luke’s betrayal and snowball effect - no - avalanche of a manic, spiraling plan based in self-loathing and greed.

If she was so intelligent, namely the most formidable demigod alive, how could she be so blind to Luke’s plan for years? She knew Kronos targeted him shortly after he met her. How didn’t she notice the inherent evil budding in him for years?

Was all of this her fault?

Even if it wasn’t, she truly felt like it. She could never forgive herself for even the slightest possibility of that.

Every time she closed her eyes, a film reel played of Percy’s judgmental glances and comments whenever she mentioned the easiest way to Luke was looking for his soft spot. Achilles spots weren’t just physical, they were mental too.

And Luke knew Percy was hers.

She didn’t even have to swim in the Styx to get targeted and preyed on.

Percy didn’t know but Luke promised to kill him on Mount Tamalpais. He didn’t threaten it or haphazardly try, he guaranteed it. The only time she didn’t have the repetitive nightmare of her face pressed to the ground, shoulderblades fusing together from pressure of the sky on her back while Luke whispered over and over again, “I only took you so I could kill him in front of you” was when she was sleeping safely in Percy’s arms in the Labyrinth. She wanted to explain all of this to him, but was it worth it now? Did Percy even care that the only time the thought of Luke tying her wrists so tightly together that the bruises took weeks to go away dissipated was when she was with him?

Annabeth peeled herself out of bed, bottom lip quivering from reminiscence, standing at the sliding glass door of her bedroom.

“No.” she said, under her breath.

Pale in the moonlight, stood a clear view of Mount Tamalpais from her bedroom. Annabeth rushed to her desk, snatching the pile of newspapers cluttered from last April when she was trying to track any mortal reporting on Luke’s whereabouts. Panicked gasps escaping from her throat, she fell to the floor, tripping over her own feet as she clasped the Scotch tape that was thrown askew.

Annabeth didn’t even notice she was crying until she tasted salt on her mouth. She frantically taped the news clippings to her glass window, throwing herself on her bed repeatedly to ensure the view was as obstructed as possible.

“Curtains,” she said aloud, realizing this frenzy could have been easily solved. In Annabeth’s defense, once she pulled the curtains shut, they were still sheer enough to see outside.

In the past few days, Annabeth had felt like a fraud of an Athena child. Her reputation after Mount Tamalpais quickly tarnished, blamed for the deaths of Zoe and Bianca for a ridiculous list of reasons. The main one was how Percy “violated the prophecy” by going on the quest (which she continuously stressed he didn’t and it would have actually been violated if he didn’t go), that she was a distraction to saving Artemis which led to Zoe getting distracted and dying (this is not what happened), and, worst of all, the accusation of Luke sparing her and not the others. She was the only one he was trying to actively kill the entire time and, not just actively kill, watch suffer. He wanted her to see her die in front of him.

Luke wanted Annabeth to die by his hands only, defined by a perverted version of “love” that he claimed to tout. She couldn’t even fathom watching Percy die by her hand and claim it was “love.”

After last winter, she was in a constant state of feeling tainted, not just by Luke’s manipulation but by the blood of hundreds, which somehow fell to her responsibility.

Annabeth touched her fingertips to the back of her neck, rubbing the sweat that had accumulated to her hand, and wiped her hand on her pajama pants. She didn’t understand why this was a symptom of what happened to her, but she lived in a constant state of disgust with herself. One day it was the way her hair laid and the next it was how her hips weren’t proportionate to her thighs or, right now, how she sweat when she was anxious.

She stood up again then turned back around, remembering what would face her if she went to her balcony to calm down. Biting her lip, she opened the drawer in her bedside table and pulled out her dagger, shuffled into her slippers, and crept out of her room down the stairs. She opened the foyer window, squeezing out of its narrow opening which led to the garden outside.

When she was staying with Percy in New York one weekend, she snuck out while he was sleeping and walked to Silena’s to calm down, but forgot now it was different. She wanted to escape what had happened in New York, however, it resulted in her isolation from her entire support system.

Annabeth stepped back, brushing the outside of her house, and retreated inside the window.

“Annabeth?” said her father’s voice from on top of the staircase.

“I wanted to go on a walk.” she stated, her sober expression turning stoic.

Frederick sighed, “Please don’t worry me. I can’t - I can’t do that again.”

Annabeth’s expression softened, “I know. I wasn’t trying to worry you, I just needed air.”

“You have a balcony, sweet girl.”

She blinked back tears, “But I can see it,” Annabeth whispered.

Frederick’s mouth opened slightly, “Oh. I -”

“Yeah.”

He nodded, “We can move your room to the other side of the house tomorrow. Bobby will switch with you - well - I’ll tell him he has to.”

For the first time in days, a smile crept across Annabeth’s lips, “Thank you.” Her dad met her at the bottom of the stairs, gently walking her back to bed. He left her at her door, wishing her goodnight, and then gave Annabeth space to get settled. To ease her dad’s mind as best she could, she closed her eyes in an attempt to go to sleep, but quickly dreaded the nightmares that were imminent as she dozed off.

Chapter Text

Percy fidgeted with his camp beads as the stadium buzzed around him. He loved the end-of-summer baseball tradition in the city and, with Charlie’s help, had secured last-minute $10 tickets. He nervously had asked if Percy wanted two, which Percy obviously quickly declined.

“I’m back! I caved and got fries,” exclaimed Silena, giggling as she sat down. She greeted Charlie by kissing him on the cheek, him quickly kissing her back.

“I’m confused why you didn’t invite Rachel, Percy. I was trying to go for a double-date sort of thing,” said Charlie.

Silena playful tapped Charlie’s head then rested one arm on his shoulder, “Um, if I remember correctly, I invited Annabeth.”

Percy nodded, “I think that would seal my fate with Annabeth, unfortunately.”

Silena cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips, “Have you spoken?”

Percy glanced to the side as he heard Charlie go, “Silena!” as quietly as he could.

“I don’t mean to be an ass but can we please change the subject?” pleaded Percy. Charlie nodded, offering Percy a fry from the basket. He obliged.

Percy was typically a chatty person, but he found himself at a constant loss of words after being disconnected from Annabeth, especially right now with their two best friends. Time and time again, he would look to the side, forgetting she wouldn’t be there for a comforting nod of approval. He knew he wasn’t in the right headspace for a relationship with her, but was also aware she would not accept that for an answer.

“Annabeth emailed me a photo of the beach last week, I think I’m going to go and visit,” Silena whispered to Charlie, thinking Percy couldn’t hear her. In an attempt to hide suspicion that he overheard and, well honestly, his feelings about her getting to see Annabeth and not him, Percy excused himself.

This seemed like the right decision, to give Annabeth space that is, but he had never felt so alone. He was in a constant state of feeling like someone took his batteries out, and left them on the bedside table in his cabin at Camp Half-Blood. Percy had quickly withdrawn himself from a lot of social situations, he noticed.

For example, right then he chose to go to the self-serve station instead of the counter to fix himself his extra-large half Blue Powerade half-Sprite. He chuckled to himself, remembering how Annabeth used to call it “chewing on a power line.” All he wanted was for everything to go back to normal, but it seemed impossible now. Fixing things with Annabeth meant him admitting he made mistakes with her, and her admitting she should have never trusted Luke in the arena. He did plan to kill her, just not there.

It was supposed to happen in front of everyone she loved at camp instead.

Percy’s mindset was to detach her from Luke as much as possible, and didn’t realize how much he had pushed her away - until it was too late.

He retreated to his seat, anxiously slugging his soda.

Silena was eccentrically talking to Charlie, unaware of Percy’s return, “No, I was just saying, he definitely should call her. She has a home pho - HI! Hi, Percy.”

He half-smiled awkwardly as he sat down.

“I’m - I’m sorry. I know you heard me, Perce.”

Percy shook his head, “No need to explain,” he leaned back in his chair, “She’s your friend too. And, for the record, I’m glad she is.”

Silena nodded, “I don’t mean to pry, but she just seems sad, not even that mad anymore. If all that happened was that you kissed once, can’t you reach out? It’s not like you were continuously seeing each other.”

Percy glanced to the side, “Yeah … yeah I guess. I want to give her space, though. She was insistent.”

Silena bobbed her head side to side, “Yeah, I was also insistent that I’d never go to a Yankees game. Then Charlie bought me a pink Yankees hat, so I agreed.”

Percy blinked sarcastically, “Are you trying to explain ‘compromise’ to me right now, Silena?” Using air quotes when he said “compromise.”

She nodded innocently, going back to her fries.

“Until she says something to you in San Francisco, I’m not calling her. It will just make it worse because I’m not ready.”

Silena nodded again, “I understand. I’ll call your house when I can to tell you how she is.”

“Thank you.”

-

After he got home from the game, Percy thought this conversation with Silena would make him more content but, in reality, he felt so much worse. He knew he had to be the one to reach out first, but had no idea how to start or what to say. He didn’t even know what specifically she wanted him to apologize for. He laid in bed as long as he could to put off showering and brushing his teeth so he could think, but the minute he pictured her face to express what he was trying to, his mind went blank.

Water didn’t even make him feel better, which was a first.

He dried his hair with a shake and sat on the edge of his bed. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but he thought, “What could it hurt?” and picked up the crumpled piece of paper with Annabeth’s home phone number written on it. He stood, biting his lip as he walked into his living room, gingerly dialing the number on his mom’s home phone while glancing behind him to ensure he didn’t wake her up.

The dial tone rang monotonously, Percy shifting from one foot to the other as he anxiously breathed heavier, completely unprepared for what he would say if she picked up.

“Hello?” said Frederick’s voice on the other line.

“Shit!” exclaimed Percy, impulsively hanging up.

He held the phone in his hand, shaking.

“Why did I hang up? Can I call back? I can’t call back. No, I’m not ready.”

He dropped the phone on its stand and sped back to his room, glancing once at the couch in his living room before he closed his door.

If he wanted to be with her, he owed her a better version of himself. That was the only version of him he felt she would accept, and he begrudgingly convinced himself that now was not the time to reconnect as he forced his eyes shut.

Chapter Text

Annabeth tried to love the setup of her new room. There wasn’t as much natural light and the floor configuration was odd, but it was sweet of Bobby to be so willing to trade, obviously with some convincing from her dad. Silena had called her house late last night to ask if she could come visit this week. She sounded scared for some reason, but Annabeth dismissed it as her anxious anticipation for what was to come. Or, flying alone. Annabeth hated flying alone.

She donned a blue bikini and jean shorts and tied her curly hair into two double braids, two little tufts of blonde girls protruding from the ends. Annabeth didn’t even realize that she had lost weight, but the significant gap between her stomach and her jeans was a telltale sign.

“Annabeth! I made breakfast!” she heard Frederick yell from the kitchen. She poked her head out of the door and yelled, “Coming!” then ran down the stairs.

Frederick, her stepmom Helen, Bobby, and Matthew were scattered around the kitchen, Frederick frantically trying to assemble breakfast. Since last winter, Frederick had made it a point to try to integrate Annabeth as much as he could into their lives, but without making her uncomfortable. Annabeth was still resentful but, in the scheme of “worst things that happened to Annabeth” in the past few years, she had experienced more grave experiences than the ones in her childhood. Frederick realized he had to explain who Annabeth’s mom truly was for anything to make sense to them, with Annabeth’s permission of course. She was there for every step of the conversation, and any questions they had. Explaining it to Helen was the easiest, especially since she phrased it as keeping Bobby and Matthew safe from her world.

Her dad doled out some eggs, bacon, and pancakes, Annabeth sucking in a breath when she saw the pancakes. Did everything have to remind her of Percy?

Annabeth took a bite of her bacon.

“Annie, how was your night in your new room?” asked Helen.

“Sorry, we’re not there yet, it’s still Annabeth. Only dad and Per - only dad can call me Annie.”

Her stepmom’s eyes widened then she nodded, Frederick shooting Annabeth an approving glance.

To keep the mood light even though that was an important boundary for her, she blurted, “It was fine, though. I like that I have a Firestick now. Easy access to watch Egyptian pyramid videos.”

“I - yeah!” said her stepmom. Fredrick chuckled.

“Oh, Annabeth!”

“Hm?”

“A New York area code called last night, is everyone alright?”

Annabeth nodded, “Yeah, I talked to Silena when you were in the shower. She’s fine, oh, sorry. She wants to come visit, is that okay?”

Frederick nodded, “Of course, but no. It was before she called.”

Annabeth dropped her fork, “Was it the same number?”

Frederick shrugged, “No idea, just figured it was related.”

Annabeth sprinted to the phone, pressing the bottom arrow down as fast as she could to browse the recent calls, and clicking Silena’s number above the unknown one Fredrick had mentioned.

“Silena?”

“Hey! I’m so excited to visit tomorrow and guess what! I got new bikinis! What’s up though?”

Annabeth took a shaky breath, “Did you call me from Charlie’s apartment before yours last night?”

Silena paused on the other end, “Erm, no? Just mine. I already told Charlie at the Yankees game earlier that night that I was planning on it, why?”

“A random Manhattan area code called me last night and, like, it couldn’t be -”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“I didn’t recognize it and I have his written down.”

Annabeth heard Silena shuffling through something on the other line, “Hold on.”

Annabeth sucked in a breath, “Yeah?”

“So, Sally and Paul got a new number -”

“What?” Annabeth interrupted.

“I - I don’t want to get your hopes up or anything like that but, at the game, I suggested -”

Annabeth leaned against the counter, biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

“I suggested that he talk to you. So, it could be possible but …”

Annabeth shook her head, “It definitely wasn’t him. He -” She pursed her lips, “He wouldn’t call me. Not right now. I’m … I’m going to go. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Annie.”

Annabeth hung up, chewing on her lip again as she set the phone on the receiver.

Matthew and Bobby looked up from the show on her iPad as Annabeth uncomfortably put her plate in the sink.

“Annabeth? Are you alright?” asked Frederick.

She shook her head, speeding past her family back up the stairs.

What if it was him? Should she call back?

Annabeth hastily packed her beach bag, blinking back tears as she snatched Frederick’s car keys off her bedside table.

She sped down the stairs and almost past her family before Frederick stopped her.

“Annabeth?” he quizzed, looking down at the car keys in her hand.

She tilted her head to the side, “Seriously?”

Frederick nodded, “Yeah, I forgot you drive without me for … reasons.”

“Yeah, I’ll be at the beach. Sorry, I just need to clear my head.”

Frederick tapped Helen’s shoulder to indicate to leave Annabeth be as Annabeth rushed out of the door. She was kissed by the hazy, salty August air as she rolled down the windows of Frederick’s Range Rover. Even though it was a beautiful summer day, she still sensed the dark cloud looming - the imminent reality that the battle of the Labyrinth was just the beginning.

Words couldn’t describe the loneliness Annabeth felt since she came home. Last time she was here, she had a New York visit to look forward to with her favorite person in the world. Now, the next time she saw New York would be to pointlessly try to prevent Luke from killing more of her friends. She never minded solitude, but this loneliness was a far cry from peaceful solitude.

The drive to Half Moon Beach from her house wasn’t far, just enough to play three songs on her playlist. She pulled the bag containing her book and towel out of the backseat, and started towards the beach. As the sand bunched between her toes with each step, she reminisced of the time she realized the complexity of her feelings for Percy - at Santa Monica pier three years ago. Annabeth had watched this boy who she, at first, found a nuisance take down a god with little effort. She knew if her feelings persisted, they were in for years of mistreatment since they saw her as a threat, but him now as well.

The mentality he had where he was “protecting her” by choosing to let her go was frankly insulting to Annabeth. She had looked after herself and Camp for years, before he even knew this world existed. In terms of being a demigod, he was still learning to walk while she could run.

Hating him would be easier. If the person who called her was him, he could have always called again. She hated the whole “taking turns” aspect of a relationship, or whatever you wanted to define her affiliation to Percy. If he loved her so much, why wasn’t he coming with Silena? If he was so willing to die for her on that mountain which unfortunately protruded above any view of her hometown, like a cruel reminder of Luke’s control, why did he let her get in the car? He didn’t just let her get in the car, he consciously avoided her for weeks as she was suffering with the guilt of what happened at camp. He didn’t even reassure her once after the battle that it wasn’t her fault.

Was sitting here in front of the ocean, listening to the waves monotonously lap the shoreline, the closest she’d ever get to touching him again?

For some sort of distraction, Annabeth entrenched herself in her book. She wasn’t usually a fan of gothic novels, but Wuthering Heights had become a favorite in the past few days. Maybe it was because she was traumatized from watching everyone close to her become their worst enemy, or, it was her way of being self-critical.

“Sorry, where did you get that cover?” said a boy’s voice behind her.

She turned around. A boy around her age was staring at her, no friends in sight.

“I come down here to read too,” he said, pulling A Tale of Two Cities out of his bag.

Annabeth was still caught off-guard, “Sorry, I apologize if I seemed rude, you just scared the shit out of me,” she blurted, which was a lie. He was cute, and Annabeth didn’t want to admit that to herself.

“I didn’t mean to bother you, so sorry, I - I can leave you alone,” he said, turning around.

“Wait! So sorry.” she said, sticking out her hand, “I’m Annabeth.”

“Nathan,” the boy said, leaning down, sitting next to her, “Now, will you please tell me where you got that clothbound cover.”

She smiled, “It’s a little bookstore downtown,” she shifted to sit closer to him, tossing one of her braids behind her shoulder. It’s not like she wanted anything with anyone else right now, she just wanted a mortal friend who was oblivious to her world.

“Well, if you show me your super-secret-bookstore I’d be ever so grateful. Maybe I'll buy you a coffee or something as a ‘thank you,’” said Nathan.

Annabeth chuckled, “That’s actually, um, very nice of you. I really do need to finish this for school but, uh, I can give you my home phone number?”

Nathan laughed, “Home phone? Do you have strict parents?”

Annabeth pursed her lips, “Not in the slightest it’s uh, complicated. I got kidnapped so - oh my god.” She started laughing, “Oh my gods - god. I have actually no idea why I just said that.”

Nathan’s jaw was on the floor, “Kidnapped - kidnapped?”

Annabeth looked down awkwardly, “I - it wasn’t a big deal. It was a family … friend?”

Nathan continued staring at Annabeth, covering his mouth with one hand.

Annabeth sighed, “I really need to stop talking.”

Nathan shook his head, glasses on the brim of his nose shifting back and forth, “No, oh my god, WHAT? Was this on the news? Are you okay? Wait, probably not. Please disregard that.”

Annabeth giggled, “No like,” she looked up, “My dad found me. So sorry. I really don’t know why I told you that.”

“... Am I allowed to laugh?”

Annabeth nodded aggressively, “Please for the love of gods - god, laugh.”

She was really going to have to re-program her brain to not say “gods” when she started school.

Nathan sighed, “If I invite you to a party my friends and I are throwing tomorrow, will you tell me more?”

“My friend is in town.”

“Invite her!”

Annabeth bobbed her head from side to side, “Fine. And, what I can say legally, sure.”

“LEGALLY? Alright,” exclaimed Nathan as he handed her his cell phone, Annabeth obliging and punching in her home phone number into the keypad.

Nathan stood, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Annabeth.”

She smiled, “You too.”