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“Uhm…Wild? I don’t this a great idea,” Four said hesitantly, a cucco flapping sporadically above his head. They were at the precipice of a ledge in Kakariko Villiage. A tall enough precipice which, if they fell from…well, they better not be falling from it.
Legend and Four shared a look. “Look, I have to agree with Four’s boring ass right now. Imagine if we get thrown into the local dungeon, and someone asks what we’re in for, and we say ‘cuccos.’ I don’t see that going too well.”
“C’mon! It’s easy! All you gotta do is pick up a cucco and jump off. I’ve never gotten arrested so far!” Wild said with a cheeky grin.
“So far—?” Legend tried to argue but Wild already leaped off. It was rather shocking how Wild managed to do such a strange feat. Wild whooped as he glided far and wide, past the goddess statue, and near the Lady Impa’s house. He showered cucco feathers in his wake, clumps gathering at the basin of the goddess statue. Legend and Four almost joined him. Almost. Until he crashed on a rooftop, and not just any rooftop. The now very broken rooftop of the very Lady Impa herself.
Two guards from the base of the stairs sprinted up with the grace of the Kakariko, halting at the very top with spears pointed at Wild.
“Sir, I need you to put the cucco down. Stand down, and we’ll make it easy for you,” one of the guards said calmly.
Wild gave them a sheepish grin, his Champion’s Tunic with scuffs and dust proving the crime he had committed. He carefully placed the cucco on the roofing and raised his hands above his head.
“Now descend from the rooftop slowly. No sudden moves.” With Wild now near enough for the guards to identify who he was, two sets of jaws dropped to the floor in shock.
“Ch—Champion…? Sir, we didn’t realize it was you. But you did commit a crime so unfortunately, you are under arrest. Any relations or close connections you have must pay a fine to let you out of the dungeon.”
On a relatively far away cliff to men were laughing like never before. “Goddamn,” Legend said, wheezing in pure laughter. “I can’t believe he actually got arrested,” Legend said with a chuckle.
Four raised his eyebrow comically.“Really? Because I sure as hell can.” More laughter ensued until Legend abruptly halted.
Four steadied his own laughter, turning to face Legend. “What’s the matter, Ledge?”
“Didn’t they say something about a fine?” Legend asked with a sigh.
“Oh.”
“We have to pay the fine, don’t we?”
“Or…we could just leave him.”
***
Wild found himself in the local dungeon. The two guards had taken him to the holding cell, down a very long, dark set of stairs. Wild had not even known Kakariko had a dungeon to begin with, let alone one of such size. There were not many offenders within the chambers and bars, however. Only one man shared Wild’s cell. He was the menacing type, with tattoos that crossed over his form and a bald head, scars matching his intimidating scheme. Previously in the dim shadow of the cell, the man approached Wild, towering at almost double his size in muscle and height.
“What’re you in for?” the man said, his voice deep and gruff.
“Cuccos.”
“Wh—”
“I glided a cucco and crashed into Lady Impa’s house.”
“Are you bein’ serious right now?!!”
***
Four and Legend were currently having a very long day. As they descended the dank stairway into the dimly lit dungeon, they knew it was about to become even longer.
“What is the fine for releasing a prisoner condemned for a misdemeanor?” Legend said, face in his palm.
The guard raised his head apathetically from his ledger, wearing a bored expression. “What is his name?”
“Link.”
The guard returned to the ledger, flipping through the pages in a lethargic fashion. “5,000 rupees.”
Four stepped forward in irritation. “There is no way it costs that much.”
“If you’re unwilling to pay, exit is up that way.” The guard gestured toward a ladder on the other side.
“…Fine. Here.” Legend slapped a bag of 5,000 rupees on the man’s counter, diamond like currency clattering on the surface.
“Please handle your money with care, sir.” He said in a monotone. Legend and Four somehow managed to ignore him. Truly a test of strength.
The pair began their steady approach toward Wild’s cell, their footsteps echoing in the dungeon halls. Finally, they reached the cell where Wild remained to find him with a black eye.
“Wild?!!” Four shot up with concern. “Are you alright? What happened?”
“Who did this to you?” Legend added. “I’ll make ‘em pay.” Legend cracked his knuckles.
“There used to be a man in the same cell as me, tattoos and all, the menacing type. He asked me ‘what’re you in for?’ and I told him ‘cuccos.’ Eventually, the conversation unravelled slightly.”
Legend stared at wild, a pained expression on his face. “Wild…why? Just, no.”
Four grinned. “Still gonna make ‘em pay?”
Legend turned to face Four. “Oh, I’m gonna make someone pay. Just not that man.”
“Who?” Wild said curiously.
Legend ignored him. “What else did you say to the man?”
“He seemed shocked, so I explained what I meant. I said, ‘I glided a cucco and crashed it into Lady Impa’s house.’”
“Wh—”
THE END