Chapter Text
It never used to be like this, different I mean.
Chris could spend hours thinking back to a time where nothing bad had happened yet, and his biggest worry was what he'd wear to school the next morning. He could spent days lost in a daydream of a past life he hardly remembers living. A life that was once his.
And sometimes he does just that. Because living in his head seemed so much safer than facing the outside world. There was no expectations up there, no one judging his every move, no punishments either.
The four walls of his tiny bedroom quickly became his safe haven. Though his door didn't have a lock, Chris found closure whenever it was shut at least. Or whenever he was allowed to have it shut. It was like he could finally take a breath of fresh air. A long overdue one at that.
But today wasn't one of those days. It actually hasn't been one of those days for the past three weeks, but Chris chose not to think about that.
Monday mornings always felt the worst in his opinion. His mini alarm clock never let him see a minute of extra sleep, and everything around him gave him a mild headache. The noises were too loud, the lights were too bright, and the people he could hear on the street outside were way too enthusiastic for 7AM on a random monday.
Chris swung his legs off the side of his bed with a sigh, his hands slowly dragging down his face. He hardly slept last night, but that didn't matter now. Not when he had his first day of Junior year in an hour. A mild pain still lingered at the back of his head, but he hoped it would go away with time.
Socked feet meet the cold floor, and Chris almost winces as the room spins for a second. Instinctively, his hands go out to balance his weight, then everything returns back to normal.
He tries not to catch his reflection in his closet mirror as he passes it, but he couldn't help but stare at the figure looking back at him. He was wearing a loosely fitted white tshirt, and sweatpants that barely fit him too. Another sigh escapes his lips at the memory from a few months ago. His clothes used to fit him perfectly back then, before he-
"Chris, are you up?!" a loud voice yells from downstairs, and Chris visibly flinches back at the sound.
"Yes, Tony. I'll be down in a second" Chris rushes as he speed walks to the bathroom. Even though he woke up on time today, he could tell his uncle wasn't in the mood for any bullshit. Which just means leaving the house early to avoid unnecessary conflict.
The bright light hanging from the ceiling only worsened the pain Chris felt as he reached for his toothbrush, then groaned as he was met with yet another mirror. Over time he had learned to hate looking at his reflection. Mirror's didn't hide reality from him quite like his head did. No, they let him look at it dead in the eyes. And that was something Chris wasn't sure he was ever gonna be ready to face.
Brushing his teeth and putting himself together took no longer than ten minutes, and Chris wondered if that could count as some type of olympic sport. He's heard plenty of stories of kids his age taking ages to get ready in the morning, sometimes even hours, and here he was up and done in ten. It wasn't ideal, but he had learnt the hard way that taking too long risks being punished. And the sooner he could get out his uncle's way, the better.
The kitchen looks even more enticing today as Chris shuffles past it, his stomach already growling at the possibility to satiate his hunger. He didn't dare step foot near the fridge though, or the cupboards or the pantry or anything else that held food in it. In Tony's words, none of the food belonged to Chris. So he didn't have a right to touch any of it. He'd eat what he was given, and on days if that was nothing then he'd grit his teeth and try to ignore the food noise that grew louder with every passing second.
Maybe he'd be lucky enough to catch a meal at school instead.
Chris moves over to the hallway and quickly steps into his white air forces, not really caring for how well they fit around his feet, then slings his bag over his shoulder. The straps sit nicely over his hoodie, and for a second Chris' mind takes him back to elementary school. When he'd be lined up at the front door along with Nick and Matt as their mom gently fixes their hair before they leave. She'd never let her boys go to school without looking their absolute best.
"Fuck are you just standing there for, kid? Leave" Tony growls, which instantly breaks Chris out his daydream. God, how long had he just been standing there?
"Sorry, I'm going" Chris says as he swings open the front door and closes it behind him.
The cool air nips at Chris' face as he starts his walk, his cheeks already flushing a tint of light pink. Even though fall had just begun, the morning weather still felt similar to winter temperatures. And there was only so much his flimsy hoodie could do at blocking it all out.
One thing Chris did like about leaving early, was the fact that he had time to take in the pretty colors of the leaves that littered the ground in tenfold. Fall had always been his favorite time of year, even if the cold was his worst enemy. Everything down to the vibes of the season felt so much better, and it served as a temporary distraction from the hell of his life.
Inside his uncle's house was non-stop pure torment, but outside? It was like the world stopped spinning for a little while. Time slowed down and all his thoughts were centred around the scene of leaves falling like a delicate layer of snow. It was ethereal almost. And Chris seemed to like the fact that he was still able to find some beauty in the world, despite his life presenting as the complete opposite.
A small buzz from his left pocket brought him out of yet another daydream. Chris pulled out his phone and briefly glanced at the screen to reveal a few notifications from the group chat with his brothers.
Sturniolos 💖🩹
Nick: we're coming to school early today
matt wants to double check his locker placement before class
[read by 1 person]
Matt: i hope they put ours together like last year
i really dont wanna be next to a stranger 😭
[read by 2 people]
Chris:
i just left Tony's so ill probs get there same time as u guys
i miss u :(
[delivered]
Chris sighs as he slips his phone back into his pocket, making a mental note to hug his brothers extra tight when he sees them. Tony never lets him leave the house unless he's going to school, or if for some reason he's in a really good mood, so he never got to see Nick or Matt all summer break. They were probably having the time of their lives out in the sun while he was stuck at home rotting away.
That was the only thing he liked about school, getting to see his brothers. Last year they shared most of their classes too and Chris could only hope this semester would be kind to him.