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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “I need a good orgasm,” She said without preamble, as simple a statement as the sky was blue and her parents needed to get a fucking divorce.

    Rodrick's expression was dismayed. “You’ve been in a shit mood all fucking night. So you’re telling me that if I get you off, you’ll be less of a blowhard?”

    “I have a boyfriend, you know.”

    Rodrick’s eyes flickered up. He laughed; a low and hollow sound, “Oh. I know.” He rolled his eyes.

    “And you’re just like…okay with that?” She demanded.

    “Look, George, if he were here, I’d lock you two in a closet until whatever this—” he made an ungeneral hand motion toward her, “Is resolved. But he’s not. So call it a public service, lest you decide in your state to go eat some peasants and knock down a few buildings.”

    OR

    Regina George has reinvented herself a thousand times over. Her most notable hits have been:
    A Queen Bee Bitch
    An angry, semi-mentally healed Lacrosse star
    A nobody college student; and
    A goddamn mature adult

    And Rodrick Heffley has been around for all of them.

    Updates on Wednesdays

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,235
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    269
    Kudos:
    627
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    12,603