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  1. The Brooding Bat of her Dreams. by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

    24 Mar 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger thought being the Hogwarts’ Matron would make her life quieter, until Severus Snape stormed back into it like a gothic fever dream with cheekbones sharp enough to file paperwork on.

    Enter Draco Malfoy: agent of chaos, self-appointed matchmaker, and menace to the entire staff table. With a talent for melodrama and his disastrously timed pelvic thrusts, he is determined to shove Hermione and Severus together whether they like it or not. (They don’t.... They definitely do. They’re both in denial.)

    With Hogwarts whispering, Harry approving, and Ron distracted by impending fatherhood, Hermione finds herself caught between attraction, irritation, and the unsettling suspicion that she might actually care about Snape.

    And as she becomes even more entangled in his life, one thing becomes obvious:
    They’re either going to kiss, kill each other, or collapse passionately into a bed, and nobody can decide which outcome is more likely.

    Draco, armed with his popcorn, is ready for it all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,100
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Comments:
    233
    Kudos:
    428
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    9,093