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When Dick woke with a start in Titans Tower, his first thought was that he was still dreaming. It still felt too good to be away from Spyral, away from the lies and the pain. The wickedness they'd let him face all on his own. If Batman had known just how terrible a group they were — beyond their goal of trying to unmask and ruin all the heroes — he wouldn't have sent him alone. Not to a place with so much technology, so much potential to really do some damage.
God, he'd had to do so much he wasn't proud of, and all for what? There was so little that he'd truly done aside from be forced to sacrifice in-part, or in-whole the years of morals he'd lived by.
He didn't even realize he was holding his breath until the sound of his communicator ringing startled him out of his thoughts. He looked down to the screen. The voice message was from Bruce, no doubt checking up on him. They'd hardly spoken since the whole ordeal, but then again, that was normal, wasn't it?
Dick had just sat down, taking the device into his hands. It felt too small. Too normal. Too much like his life before his 'death' to be anything but a distraction.
He was a mess, and he didn't want to face anyone like that. So when his communicator went off again, this time with a text message from Barbara, his response was swift and succinct.
"I'll call you later."
He didn't have the heart to tell her he wasn't ready to see her or any of the others yet... not that they'd been overly eager themselves. Aside from her typical politeness, the rest of the family — Jason, Tim and Damian — hadn't said much of anything to him.
There'd just been this coldness. He didn't even know how any of them had reacted to the funeral that'd been had for him.
That wasn't even considering his team. The Titans. Cyborg, Garfield, Starfire...
He'd arrived back at the Tower — home — only the night prior, but all three of them had been resting. Dick wasn't stupid, he knew that was their excuse for not wanting to talk. Still, it stung, and he couldn't comprehend what anger they felt towards him — he'd been revealed. His family and those close to him had to be taken care of, and that wasn't to mention it was Batman's idea to fake his death and go with Spyral in the first place.
If it'd been up to Dick, the whole of their family could've gone off and dealt with the organization. He hadn't wanted anyone else to get hurt.
But the choice hadn't been his.
With a groan, Dick got up from his bed and began to make his way to the main living area of the tower. Maybe he'd find something to eat or somebody to converse with. He didn't imagine this anger and distance would last too long. It'd never been the norm.
"Hey, Kori."
As he'd hoped, the Tamaranean was already there. Her green eyes met his and she smiled, though her gaze was a bit uncertain.
"Robin. Good morning," she greeted. "I was just about to leave. There are errands to run, as you can imagine. It is very busy work." With nary another word, Starfire took to the air and flew over to the exit, but not before shooting a look his way. "I will be back later this afternoon."
"Kori—"
But she was already gone, the doors closing behind her. Dick stood in place, a frown forming on his face.
Well, he'd certainly seen that coming, but it was still a shock. She'd never just left without talking to him before.
"Rough morning?"
Dick nearly jumped at the voice behind him. "Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that, Raven." He turned, eyeing her as she walked around the couch to sit down.
"I didn't mean to startle you," she replied, looking up at him with those deep, dark violet eyes of hers. "You seem out of it."
"Yeah," he murmured. "Guess I am."
Raven had been a surprise to him. In the past, she'd been the one to keep her distance from everyone. When it came to Dick, she'd barely given him the time of day. Now, here she was, sitting comfortably on the sofa as if waiting for him to join her.
"You could come and sit." She motioned for him to do so as the door at the end of the hall shut; he thought he saw a green mouse fleeing the scene, but he wasn't entirely sure. "It's not good for you to be on your feet."
Dick sighed as he did just that, taking a seat next to her. "What is this? Are you giving me a pep-talk or something?"
"Or something," Raven replied, folding her hands in her lap. "The others are angry. They mourned for you, and now they feel betrayed."
He opened his mouth to say that this wasn't his idea, that he hadn't wished to go to Spyral or do so much as one task for them. That it was for their protection, for his family's and for the greater good. But the words didn't come, and instead, he simply sighed. "Yeah, I know."
Raven's head tilted slightly, her gaze falling to her hands. She seemed a touch uncomfortable, but not enough to move away. "You don't have to explain yourself. They'll come around."
"How can you be sure?"
"I just am." She gave him one of those rare, small smiles. "Do you... want to talk about it?"
He knew she wasn't much for conversation. This must have been hard on her. Still, there was something in the way she was looking at him. Like she understood. She could— no, she was an empath. One that shared a bond of years with him, how could he forget?
She could probably feel how much his head was spinning, and just how badly the guilt weighed down on him.
Dick leaned forward, his head bowed and his shoulders slumped. "I don't even know where to start."
"You can take your time." She moved closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. "There's no rush. I won't push you." Raven never pushed him, not the way the others did. He supposed what first he'd taken for indifference and a general state of coolness, had actually been her being sensitive — she could feel the emotions of others, and she knew his.
It was nice.
"Raven," he started, his voice low, "I... I can't tell you everything, not right now. I think I just want to be with someone."
He'd expected her to withdraw, or maybe look uncomfortable, but she did neither.
"Then stay." Raven didn't move back or away, and instead, shifted a little closer until their knees touched. She didn't speak further, and he didn't either. It was silent save for the sounds of the ocean waves, and the birds chirping as they'd come to rest on the balcony nearest them.
Dick leaned back against the couch, letting a sense of peace wash over him.
It was all going to be okay. He was home, and he was safe.
Spyral, loneliness, the lies, the pain, the lack of agency and the constant worry... all of it was in the past, and he would never have to experience it again.
He let out a deep breath, and sank into the sofa.
When his first evening at Titans Tower came about, he found himself still in the presence of nobody save for Raven.
The others were home, of course, but had taken to hiding themselves away in their respective rooms. God, Dick hadn't even glanced Cyborg, and Garfield was only moving about as small animals, doing the most that he could to avoid his former leader.
Starfire, on the other hand, had been seen near a half-dozen times throughout his time lounging with Raven in the living room. She'd come and go, and though they shared a few looks and words, there was this distance that he hadn't quite noticed before.
He'd always considered her to be the most loyal, and she had been. But now? There was an anger and betrayal in her gaze, and the more he tried to reason with her, the less willing she was to speak.
How couldn’t she have all people understand his reasoning?
Protecting people was a shared passion, and he’d been doing just that.
"You didn’t eat dinner.” Raven’s voice stole him from his thoughts. He was currently sitting next to her on the couch.
"No, I guess I didn’t," he replied, his eyes glancing at the clock on the far wall. It was nearing midnight. "Guess I forgot."
Raven shook her head, rising from the couch and taking his hand into her own. "Come with me.” She had her phone in her free hand, and she began to lead him out of the room and towards the elevator.
Dick was a bit taken aback, but followed her. As the doors closed and they were on their way up, he glanced her way. "Are we going to the roof?”
He felt… foggy. Unpleasant.
After the initial communication from earlier, when Batman had given him a vague command to remain with the Titans for a time and resume his typical duties, not even he’d wanted to talk. Babs was ‘busy’ but would respond with the occasional reaction to what he’d send, but the rest of the family still hadn’t spoken a word to him.
“No.” Raven had the faintest smile on her lips. He imagined it was for his sake — she wasn’t one to do half of what she currently was… but maybe that was his thou— “I thought you’d enjoy a favourite.”
As they reached the base of the tower and started out from the elevator in the direction of the doors, he saw just what she meant. There was a pizza delivery car parked right outside, and the driver had a box in hand.
"You ordered pizza?” It was such a normal thing, yet he hadn't had it in quite some time. It almost felt strange.
Raven cocked her head at him, and when she spoke, he swore he heard an undertone of amusement in her otherwise calm tone. "You and the other boys aren’t the only ones that like greasy food. Don't tell me you've forgotten that too."
He couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head.
"Of course not. Let's go."
They took the pizza back inside and upstairs, and Dick was ready to start back towards where they’d been for the majority of the day, until she stopped him with a barrier of energy.
"My room. We’ll have a mouse otherwise, I suspect.” Raven gestured for him to follow.
And so he did, taking the unfamiliar route that’d lead him to her door. It slid open, and she stepped inside, the lights automatically flickering on.
Even then, it was dim in there. A few candles were lit, and the furniture was dark and ornate, but not overdone. He took a few steps inside, noting the bookcase that was stuffed with old tomes and books of magic. He wasn't exactly surprised by the sheer amount of them — after all, Raven's powers were magic-based.
"Take a seat."
"Your room?" He took the liberty of sitting down at the foot of her bed, his arms folded and his expression confused. "I didn't expect it to be so... cozy."
She arched a brow, placing the box on the table before her bed and opening it up. The smell of pizza filled the room, and his stomach rumbled. "You don't have a lot of faith in me, Robin?”
“Nightwing.” It was an automatic response, and he looked embarrassed at himself.
"Nightwing, Dick, Richard.” She listed them off almost tired-sounding, before her next words completely caught him off-guard. “You were Robin to me first. The bold, kind, quick-witted friend we all had need of. That we still have need of. What you call yourself hasn’t changed who you are. Not to me.”
Those words meant more to him th— no, she knew exactly how much they meant to him.