Chapter Text
1 Year ago
You closed your eyes and clenched your fists not caring that the cloth in your hand wrinkled beyond recognition, in fact, what you wanted most was to rip the dress apart, tear everything in your room, and leave the world as destroyed as your heart. It wasn't fair, this wasn't how it all had to end, your life was supposed to just begin, bright mornings and warm afternoons awaited you with the love of your life. But you were only greeted with a terrible winter that soaked into your bones and a huge emptiness in the center of your chest.
"You promised you'd be here, Santi" you whispered, hugging yourself "you swore you'd never leave me"
And yet, you were alone again.
No family, no friends, no partner, no future. You had nothing more than the misery that consumed you little by little, the guilt that whispered in your ear that you could have done more, the rage that threatened to burn you whole from the inside, and a love, pure and sincere, so big that was painful because it no longer had anyone to reach out to.
You glanced sideways at the letter that had arrived that morning. You had barely opened it, and all you had to do was read the greeting to set it aside and burst into tears, too weak to face any consolatory speech it might contain. “I'm so sorry, my little lily” it said, in your aunt’s fine handwriting, the only family you had left, and whom you hadn't seen in years.
You didn't even know how she found out about what happened, but you didn't care at the time, it had all stopped making sense to you anyway. All you wanted was for time to turn back and for your fiancé to come back, to fulfill the perfect life that you were supposed to have together.
"Damn you, Santiago Cabral" you said, swallowing the lump in your throat "damn you for leaving me alone, for breaking my heart like this... and because deep down I know it's my fault, that I wasn't enough"
A new wave of tears invaded you, making you fall to your knees beside the bed. Your hands no longer had the strength to keep mistreating the veil of your wedding dress, nor did your voice come out in sobs. You were simply no more than a ghost. One that seemed doomed to the memory of a man who never came and never would.
________________________
Julieta sighed heavily as she set the wooden ladle aside, turning off the stove and wiping her hands on her apron. She really missed Casita. Weeks had passed since the miracle was lost, leaving her entire family helpless, lost, and destabilized, and although the town seemed to wake up from a dream and had come to help them, one family even lent them a house to live in while they rebuilt theirs, it was true that the Madrigals could have had a better time.
Sure, there were some who adjusted better than others, but that didn’t mean they haven't suffered. Of the six grandchildren, Dolores was the one who felt most comfortable, it seemed that she was almost relieved to have lost her gift, and Julieta couldn't blame her, her niece seemed freer and happier, being able to participate in more activities that she couldn't before due to the sensory overload of her super hearing. Camilo and Isabela said they were fine, but there were times when someone would catch them trying to reactivate their gifts or pretend they still had them.
Antonio and Luisa were the most vocal when it came to expressing their pain, both very resentful of the loss of their gifts, one because of the brevity in which he was able to enjoy it and the other because of a sense of identity that was taken from her. And her sweet Mirabel, used to living without a magical gift, had taken it upon herself to teach them how to live a normal life. The only good thing about all of this was that the six of them had become a little more united and that if one was in trouble, the other five would respond. It was cute if she was being honest.
The adults were another story. Mom appeared to be strong, but everyone could see the fear in her eyes and the pain of having lost the last vestiges of Dad's sacrifice, she was almost always locked in her designated room. Bruno had spent the last ten years without having visions, so it wasn't hard for him to get used to the lack of magic, adjusting to living with the rest of the family again was the real challenge. Pepa didn't seem to mind not having a constant cloud over her head, and she took the time to reconnect with her brother, so they could almost always be found together, without the third of their triad.
Julieta was not proud to admit that she was the one who was handling everything the worst. After having spent the last forty-five years cooking tirelessly, ensuring the health and safety of the entire town, she now felt utterly useless, with nothing to do, nor a true purpose that would finish justifying her existence.
She had ceased to be someone necessary, now she was simply a sad shadow, an empty shell, a lump that everyone forgot about after breakfast and until lunch, then disappeared again until dinner. And that hurt her soul. She couldn't help anyone anymore, she couldn't take care of her daughters and nephews, mom didn't talk to her anymore, she couldn't bond with her siblings, no matter how many times she tried or how much she missed Bruno, he and Pepa had always had a stronger bond than they ever would have with her. Simply, she no longer felt like she belonged to her own family.
There was only one person in the whole town who still seemed to notice her, who still cared for her, only one man who still bothered to ask her if she was okay or listen if she needed him. And it was not her husband, but her brother-in-law.
Agustín had been a great source of comfort in the first few days after Casita was lost, just as he had been the night Bruno disappeared. But like that time, that concern and fleeting warmth disappeared after three or four days. She wasn't stupid, she knew how things were between them for years, even before Mirabel's birth, and she really couldn't blame him for anything.
The thing was, since Casita was gone, Gus had stopped having so many accidents, and if he did, he wouldn't go to her, because after all, what could she do without her gift? So the gap that had existed between them for more than fifteen years began to widen little by little with each day that Agustín went to town, exploring a freedom that, ironically, seemed magical, while she was left alone, in a strange house, as if she was part of the kitchen instruments and nothing more.
"Okay, this is the third time you've sighed in the last five minutes, what's wrong?"
Julieta jumped a little and turned around quickly, finding Felix who was looking at her quite amused from the door frame. The woman sighed in relief and felt her muscles relax considerably in the man's presence. Of all the people around her, only he could make her feel a little better these days.
"How long have you been there?" she asked softly
"Enough to feel offended that you didn't notice" he smiled.
She rolled her eyes affectionately and crossed her arms as he walked towards her, carefully following his every move. She didn't think he was going to do it this time, but her brother-in-law could be ruthless when he put his mind to it, and she had no intention of getting caught up in a tickling fit again, childish as that sounded.
"So" he said, standing in front of her and mimicking her stance "are we going to do it by hook or by crook?"
Julieta looked at him for a moment, internally cursing the simple way in which his eyes seemed to scan her soul, without giving her a chance to come up with an excuse. No matter how many years passed, Felix had always been good at getting everything out of her, she could lie to anyone but him. It didn't mean she didn't try, though.
"It's nothing" she said "I'm just a little tired of cooking, that's all" he didn't seem to believe her at all.
“You decided the hard way then” he said, smiling as her sister-in-law's eyes widened and she hurried away from him.
"No, no, no, no, don't even think about it" she warned him
"Come here, Juli, I just want to talk to you"
"Stay away from me, Félix, I'm serious."
He just laughed and kept moving towards her, chasing her around the table and returning to their place the chairs she was pulling out to try to slow his progress. They both knew they were making a ridiculous scene and that if anyone found them they would think they had lost their sanity, but they didn't care. Despite what the woman said, he could see a soft ghost of joy in her eyes and a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and that was enough for him.
"Felix, stay away" she told him again, taking the wooden ladle as a weapon.
"I wouldn't have to chase you if you stopped running" he replied.
Julieta didn't even notice the rag lying on the floor, too busy with the man in front of her, so she screamed when her heel slipped, knocking her off balance. She instinctively closed her eyes, waiting for the blow, but it never came. Instead, she felt a pair of large, strong hands, one on her hip and the other on her arm, holding her upright.
"I got you" her brother-in-law smirked at her.
"Th-thank you," she replied, pulling away from him and picking up the rag.
The atmosphere cooled again and the twinkle in the woman's eyes disappeared, as did any trace of amusement that might have existed. Felix was deeply sorry, but he also knew it wasn't unusual. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep his sister-in-law happy for more than a few minutes, at least not anymore.
There was a time when he and Julieta used to do everything together, when they were children they could spend hours and hours playing just the two of them without getting bored, they told each other everything, they supported and cared for each other, and despite their fears, it did not change as they grew. It was true that they drifted a bit apart when he started dating Pepa and she met Agustín, but they still managed to find moments to have fun together, and even once they had formed their respective sides of the family, it was not uncommon to see them together in the kitchen, talking quietly or venting comfortably with the other.
He knew that she saw him as another brother, and he felt the same for her. And maybe he never told her, but being a few years older, he felt it was his responsibility to take care of her as he took care of his beautiful wife. It just felt natural to him. That's why it hurt so much that he couldn't give her the comfort she so obviously needed.
"It's because of him, isn't it?" he asked carefully
"Felix-"
"You can't lie to me, Juli, you know that" he interrupted her "...it's because of Agustín"
She clenched her fists for a moment, before sighing and looking away. Sometimes she really hated the way he could read her so easily as if he knew her so much better than she knew herself. She didn't even try to pretend that she was surprised that he didn't call him “Gus” but instead went by his full name. Her husband had ceased to be her brother-in-law's comrade the same day that he had ceased to be the man she fell in love with.
“…partly yes,” she admitted quietly, “I just…feel lonely, you know? I'm glad that the girls are distracted, that they go for a walk and make friends, and it would be selfish of me to want Agustín to stay here with me all day."
"But?"
"...but, sometimes I wish that...I don't know, he would at least pretend that he cares a little about me" she said, hugging herself "I'm not going to say that I miss him getting hurt, on the contrary, you know well that one of the reasons we started to fell apart was because I was tired of having to heal him every two minutes”
It was true. On more than one occasion, Félix had heard her complain about having to run behind an adult man with an arepa in her hand in case he hurt himself like a little boy, and although she had found it cute at the beginning of their relationship, the truth was that the man and his accidents consumed most of what little free time she had.
"And I'm really glad he doesn't have so many accidents, especially now that I can't do anything for him, but a simple 'good morning' or a hug would be enough" she continued "the only times he seems to notice me is when we have to fake smiles in front of the girls”
"Juli-"
"And the fights, Felix...those are the worst part"
"The fights?"
He moved closer to her, frowning in concern and feeling his blood boil as tears began to roll down the woman's cheeks. But he knew Julieta, and after a few seconds he could see that they weren't tears of sadness, but of anger. If that man had hurt her, he wouldn't live another day to tell about it.
"He did something to you?" he asked carefully
Julieta stared at him in amazement, blinking a little as a mist lifted from her mind and a warm feeling bloomed in her chest as she noted the fire in the man's eyes. It felt nice to know that at least he cared for her to the point that the idea of someone hurting her caused such a reaction, even if it wasn't the case.
"No" she assured him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand and smiling softly at him "no, he hasn't done anything to me."
"But have you fought?"
"..Yeah"
"About what?"
“Lots of things” she sighed “but it's almost always about how late he gets home. And it's not that I want to control him, he can go where he pleases, but I never know where he is and I no longer have excuses for the girls when they ask me about him. I trust him, Félix, but I can't dispel doubts, especially Isabela's, if I don't know where he gets into all day... and these fights are becoming more and more frequent"
Felix looked at her for a moment, before sighing and pulling her into a hug that he knew she badly needed. He wasn't even surprised when she buried her face in his shoulder, nor did he care when he felt hot tears soaking into his shirt. It was a delicate matter, that was eating his best friend from the inside, and he knew that he would have to put that card back on the table, for her sake.
"Have you thought about getting a divorce, Juli?" he asked softly after she calmed down
The woman tensed in his arms for a moment and was silent for a long time. He waited patiently for her to accommodate her thoughts, held her firmly until he felt her relax again, and only broke away from her when she unwrapped her arms from his body. Julieta wiped her tears with her hand again, before she accepted gratefully the napkin that he offered her.
The truth was, there was no reason to avoid the question. Felix knew that she had been thinking about this for a long time, perhaps two years after Luisa was born. He had been surprised when she told him, but still, he had supported her as always and he had made her feel safe, even helping her figure out what papers she needed. But then Mirabel was born.
She would never, ever have the audacity to say that any of her daughters were a mistake. They were not. She loved them more than her life and would do anything for them, to take care of them and protect them, but sometimes she wondered if Mirabel's lack of gift was due to the fact that neither she nor Agustín had planned to have her, it just... happened.
And with her birth, things changed again. The news that he would be a father again had brought back her Agustín, the man she had fallen in love with. He had cared for her and pampered her like a queen, always attentive and ready to help her in whatever she needed, and for a brief moment, she had allowed herself to think that perhaps love had resurfaced between them... but it hadn't. As soon as her youngest daughter was out of her body, she returned to being one more decoration in the house.
It hurt her, knowing that they really had lost the fire they once shared, but she supposed that was how things were, and that it was better to get used to it. After all, absolutely no one could accuse Agustín Rojas of being a bad father, and she herself would be the first in the line of defense if someone tried to, she shouldn't be selfish, she should be thankful that her daughters had grown up with the best father they could have had, regardless of whether the little affection that still remained between them couldn't even be called friendship.
"He's a good man, Félix" she whispered.
“But you don't love him…not like that, at least not anymore” it wasn't a question, but she forced herself to answer anyway.
"...No"
"Then why do you stay?" Félix asked "why are you still with him when you both know there's nothing there anymore?"
Julieta shuddered. He wasn't rude, nor could she find any hint of judgment in his tone, he really wanted to know, but saying it out loud made it terribly true, and she didn't know if she was ready to be honest with him, or with herself.
"For my daughters" she replied, looking into his eyes "...and because I don't know anything else...I don't want to be alone, and a cold presence is better than an empty bed"
Felix looked at her with a mixture of compassion and pain, but he didn't say anything, he simply hugged her again, wishing he could convey in that gesture all the love he had for her, and a clear message of support that he hoped she could get.
"Julieta!"
The two jumped up and separated quickly at the sound of Alma's voice and footsteps. The matriarch entered the kitchen just after her daughter had finished pulling herself together and putting a painfully fake smile on her face. Felix just nodded respectfully at her.
"Yes mom?" she obediently asked
“Mija, could you take some things to Laurita? She just told me that her niece is coming to live in Encanto, and she is interested in taking over her sewing workshop. I would go myself, but I have to accompany my children to the library, Brunito wants a new book and Pepita demanded one too" the woman laughed affectionately, undoubtedly adoring the image of her youngest children "so I thought you could go since you are not busy anyway”
Julieta felt her heart drop and the wound reopen. Not only did it hurt that her mother seemed to forget that she, too, was part of her "beloved" triplets, but the fact that the freshly cooked meal was behind her and yet she was thought not to be busy made her feel even more useless than she already did. But she forced herself to maintain her composure and was grateful that her mother didn't seem to notice that her smile was growing tighter with each passing second.
"Sure mom" she said haltingly "I'll go right away"
"Thank you dear"
Felix watched in silence as Alma left the kitchen, not noticing his presence for a single moment, before turning to Julieta, who only clenched her fists while she tried to calm herself with deep breaths.
"I can go" he said, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.
"No, it's fine, I can do it" she smiled at him "Besides, some fresh air would do me good... right?"
"Sure" he returned her smile.
Neither of them mentioned the fact that the tension could be cut, deciding not to make matters worse, they were uncomfortable enough on their own. He assured her that he would take care of the rest of the meal, which she was grateful for as she walked out, leaving her apron hanging on the hook by the door.
_______________________
"I'll wait for you downstairs, my lily" your aunt smiled at you, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear "I've already cleaned the workshop, but if you want to remodel it, go ahead"
"Thank you, tía" you answered softly
“I asked Alma to bring me some things that I lent to the Rodríguez, it shouldn't take her long. She will be delighted to meet you”
You just smiled politely and closed your eyes to enjoy the feel of her calloused hand slowly caressing your cheek like when you were a child. The mention of your aunt's friend made you a little nervous if you were being honest. Tía Laura had filled you in on various events as soon as you arrived in town, and although you hadn't really been able to keep up with everything, you had gotten a little bit of the idea that Alma Madrigal and her family were practically royalty here, even though you didn't know very well why, and that they had recently lost their house, but you didn't know why either, a construction failure, perhaps.
An unfortunate fact, really, and perhaps in other circumstances, you would have offered to check if anyone needed medical attention since your aunt had told you that there were no doctors in the town (which shocked and horrified you a little, despite your aunt's promises that they hadn't needed it), but with guilt still gnawing at your soul even though the pain had lessened a little in the last year, all you could offer was a weak prayer for them, to any god who would listen to a broken woman.
"I'll leave you to finish unpacking" Laura told you, taking you out of your thoughts "call me if you need me"
You offered her a weak nod and an increasingly broken smile. You hated the way the tears were starting to pool in your eyes again and your pulse raced. You had already spent too many months crying, it was not humanly possible that you still had tears, you didn't want to, you were tired of crying. Your aunt must have felt it, because without saying anything she caught you in a strong and warm hug, letting her fingers play with your hair.
“It's okay, my girl” she said sweetly “you'll be fine. You will heal"
"Thank you, tía" you said again, desperately wanting to believe her words "for accepting me here"
"You will always be welcome here" she told you "as long as I am alive, you will always have a family, my girl"
"I don't know how I'm going to repay you" you said
"Nonsense, you don't owe me anything" she laughed "besides, we haven't had a professional seamstress here in a long time, and I can't imagine anyone more perfect for the job than you, my precious alhelí."
You chuckled softly as she pinched your cheek and watched silently as she left. The room felt colder without the woman’s presence, but it wasn’t as oppressive and painful as the room back at your old house, so you decided to count your blessings, small as they were.
"Hopefully, I'll find something in this place that will remind me what peace feels like" you said to yourself as you finished unpacking, the guilt mixed with the hope for a new start.
___________________
“Julieta! It's nice to see you here, my dear."
The brunette smiled kindly, receiving the older woman's hug a bit awkwardly as she tried to balance the boxes of fabric, ribbons, needles, and other sewing items that her mother had asked her to bring. She had hoped that the walk there would clear her mind a bit, but the feeling of loneliness kept swimming in her chest like a fish in water.
"Same here, Laura" she politely replied "it's been a while."
"You said it, mija, it's been a long time since I saw your pretty face"
Julieta laughed softly, silently acknowledging the maternal warmth that characterized the other woman. Laura had become known in Encanto for the beautiful dresses and suits that she made, with unique designs and beautiful patterns, there was no one in town who would not want to have at least one item of clothing from her collection. It had been a shame when the woman had decided to close her sewing shop, saying that she felt too old to continue with it.
In truth, she was only about 12 years older than the triplets, so she really wasn't as old as she claimed, but she had been adamant in her decision, so they hadn't been left with a choice other than accept it. She still took on mending and embroidery jobs, but it wasn't the same anymore, though the woman's warmth and kindness were still well-known and appreciated.
"Mom asked me to bring you this" the brunette said, carefully moving the boxes.
"Oh yes, allow me" Laura smiled, taking some of the smaller boxes to lighten her load "come in, you're home"
Julieta nodded gratefully, following the woman inside. Despite her age, she felt like a child entering a wonderland and she couldn't contain her amazement as soon as she walked through the front door. Laura had always had exquisite taste, and despite the fact that she had only been in her house a few times accompanying her mother when she was little, she still found it a precious place.
There were elegant decorations and handmade embroidery pictures everywhere. The plants that were in the corners really brought life to the room and the soft beige color of the walls made everything feel homey, warm and so familiar that the brunette felt strangely sheltered and safe there. If it weren't for the fact that the images of Casita collapsing still haunted her every time she closed her eyes, she could almost say it was the second most magical place in Encanto.
"You can put that in there, honey" Laura said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Alma must have been busy."
"Yes" Julieta forced a smile as she left the boxes on the floor "She, Pepa, and Bruno had to go buy some things"
"And you didn't want to go with them, dear?"
The brunette felt as if a dagger was being plunged into her chest, but she maintained her composure. After all, it wasn't the kind woman's fault that she was being selfish and wishing her mother or her siblings would include her in their plans.
“I was just curious” she lied “that's a lot of sewing stuff, can we expect a reopening of your workshop soon?”
“Oh, I hope so, mija” Laura laughed heartily “although not because of me. You know I'm too old for that, but my niece is interested in it."
"Oh yes, mom mentioned that she was going to move here." Julieta smiled, grateful for the change of topic.
"My precious girl, she has just arrived, after I begged her for almost a year" the older woman said, smiling fondly "and I must say that her hands are more skilled, and her designs far surpass any of mine"
"No one could top your designs, tía, but I appreciate the compliment"
Julieta jumped a little at the sudden voice that came from behind her. She turned to see the most beautiful woman she had ever seen coming down the stairs. She was young, with an innocent and passionate aura, but her eyes were loaded with sadness and in her smile, she hid the ghost of deep pain. Still, the brunette couldn't help the feeling of warmth that settled in her stomach, as if thousands of butterflies began to wake up, her mouth went dry and time seemed to stop, preventing her from saying anything or doing anything but looking at you while you. Of all the amazing treasures that Laura had, it was definitely you, the newest addition, the most beautiful.