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Getting together is not the hard part.
It’s strange that it isn’t. Cole thinks that, realistically, finding the courage to confess his feelings to Kai should be the hard part. Getting it off his chest in a garbled rush of, “I think we’re going to die so I should tell you I love you and always have” should’ve been the hardest it gets.
But of course, being a ninja means nothing goes on as normal. It’s not to say they don’t try to be normal with their romance life because they do. Kai plans regular dates, or at least as regular as they can get as ninja. But even those are almost always interrupted not even mid way through, before Cole can even begin to eat any cake.
Somehow, however, their ruined dates and inability to have a proper relationship, also are not the hard part.
One of the hard parts, Cole thinks, is that they can’t really let anyone know. Ninjago City isn’t nearly as progressive as one would think. In fact it’s not progressive in the slightest. The day they’d gotten together, after Cole had his hands tangled deep in Kai’s hair, their lips pressed against one anothers in a breathless dizzy mess, Master Wu had quietly pulled them aside and told them it was for the best if they’d kept it under wraps.
The two times Cole had ever seen Kai really yell at Master Wu was the day his sister was taken by Garmadon, and that day. Master Wu had not budged, and really, Cole had understood. They’re the face of Ninjago, in a way. They’re protectors. They’re always in the light of a camera no matter where they go.
Still, sometimes when Cole sees Jay kiss Nya’s palm in the bright of day, or when he sees them exchange kisses without a care in the world something squeezes the inside of his chest, curls around his throat tightly, and Cole thinks it might be jealousy—but jealousy doesn’t sting this way. Jealousy doesn’t make the hollow part inside of him that makes him wonder, in the dead of night curled in his bed, if he’s wrong.
And that part is hard, and it’s almost the hardest, but Cole’s learnt to live with it. He doesn’t care what others have to say, and his family knowing is all that really matters.
The hardest part is having sex.
Maybe Cole should phrase it more delicately. They’ve never had sex ever. It’s not out of a lack of trying, because Cole has tried, it’s something about Kai specifically that’s never let them get much further than horny, shameless kissing in the kitchen when Zane’s out with Lloyd and PIXAL gardening.
And see, if the hard part wasn’t confessing to Kai, then arguably this should be easy. Easier than having to hide his almost three year long relationship from the public, at the very least. Except that it’s not because Kai has shut down every advance Cole has made towards even an attempt at talking about it.
And at first, Cole didn’t really mind. Sure, he’d known Kai for years (it might be longer than he’s not known him) and there shouldn’t be a reason for discomfort but Cole’s not one to judge.
But then the first year together passed and finished, and then soon their second year, and now it’s approaching their third year anniversary and there has been nothing on Kai’s end. Cole isn’t even a sex freak, but he’s not prone to not thinking of his boyfriend in a certain flattering light.
And, well, is there anything wrong with wanting to give your boyfriend mind-blowing orgasm after mind-blowing orgasm?
“Yeah…no, yeah that might be the strangest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Kai says dumbly, staring at where Cole’s standing with his arms crossed and his lips jutted in something that is not a pout.
“Doesn’t make it any less sincere,” Cole shrugs.
Any other day, Kai might’ve made any plethora of stupid quips in response. Instead, today, all Kai does is bite his lip anxiously—a horrible bad habit that Cole’s tried, to no avail, to get him to stop doing—and then he slumps backwards on the bed (technically Cole’s bed but it’s basically their bed now with how often Kai stays the night).
Cole gives him ten seconds to say something, anything, before he grumbles and walks over to Kai, pushes him away from where he’s buried his face inside his pillow, pretending to sleep of all things. “Oh c’mon man, just give me any answer. You can just say you don’t want to have sex—”
“Yeah, you're right Cole,” Kai snaps suddenly, much too sudden, it comes out of nowhere, makes Cole’s pulse skitter in his chest. He pushes himself up to stand face to face with Cole, lips curled in anger that really comes out of nowhere and then his mouth opens and— “I don’t want to have sex with you.”
There’s a beat. A very long, tense beat, where Cole and Kai stare at each other, and in the silence Cole can practically hear its heart try to wrench itself out of his chest. His mouth opens and closes, and try as he might his face morphs into one of hurt because what the fuck does that even mean?
“Shit,” Kai whispers, taking a step back, or failing too because the bed is right behind him, and Cole can see the regret drawing its lines on Kai’s face. “I didn't mean that.”
They’ve talked about this. Having arguments and how to solve them best. Kai’s never been known for his patience, and he gets mad fast and quick, burns up just as quickly as he burns out, and so they’ve made an agreement to give each other at least an hour after he says something rude, or something they both know he doesn’t mean but—
Cole laughs, but it catches in his throat, falls out of his mouth hollow, “Oh it sounded like you fucking meant it, Kai.”
Kai swallows thickly, sucking in a deep breath, “No, nope, definitely not; that came out horribly–”
“How else could that have come out?!” Cole can’t fathom what Kai means by what he says, but it hurts. The implications are horribly strong, that he doesn’t want to have sex with Cole. That an intimate act meant for lovers is where Kai draws the line, that he doesn’t have a problem fucking people if it’s not Cole.
“I—” Kai’s throat bobs, “It was an accident, Cole, just—”
“Oh sure, totally an accident—you just happened to say you could stand the idea of having sex with anyone but me,” Cole snaps, and fuck hearing it in his own phrasing just makes something in him crumble. He ignores how much it hurts, throbs almost, curls against his ribs and wails, and Cole might just have to cry himself to sleep with how things are going. “Don’t bullshit me Kai, you fucking meant it.”
Kai’s jaw clenches. “You’re putting words in my mouth again, Cole.”
“Oh, again?” Cole scoffs, disbelief bleeding into bitterness. “Sorry for assuming the guy who just said he doesn’t wanna fuck me might actually mean it.”
Kai’s voice spikes, “You always do this! You twist shit around like I’m the bad guy when you’re the one who started this!”
“Me?!” Cole’s laugh is sharp. “I was the one trying to be careful, Kai—trying not to push when you were obviously uncomfortable! What the hell else was I supposed to do?”
“Maybe don’t make me feel like a fucking problem, for starters!” Kai shoots back, stepping closer. His chest heaves, the heat in his words almost trembling. “You look at me like I’m some ticking bomb every time things get serious—like, like, you’re waiting for me to freak out!”
“That’s not—” Cole’s voice breaks again. “That’s not true, and you know it, Kai.”
“Isn’t it?” Kai challenges, eyes bright and glassy. “You keep saying you get it, that you don’t care, but every time we get close you hesitate like—like you don’t want this. Like you don’t want me.”
Cole stares at him, hurt flashing across his face, and then it hardens. “You’re insane if you think I don’t want you.”
“Then what the hell am I supposed to think, Cole?” Kai snaps. “You freeze up every time things go a little messy or real—like you’re grossed out or something!”
Cole blinks, stunned, and then it hits him what Kai’s actually talking about. “Wait. Wait, hold on—what are you—”
“You’re the one who keeps making it weird!” Kai snaps, voice rising despite the crack that threatens to break through. “You act like I’m doing something wrong every time we get close, like you’re disgusted or—hell, like I’m disgusting!”
Cole’s face tightens. “Disgusted?” he repeats, incredulous, voice low. “You think I’m disgusted by you?”
Kai doesn’t answer, and that’s answer enough. He looks away, jaw set, eyes burning but refusing to meet Cole’s.
And that—God, that does something to Cole. Something sharp and mean, like his chest folding in on itself. He feels the hurt claw up his throat before he can stop it, twisting his words into something he’ll regret before they even leave his mouth. “Maybe if you didn’t make everything about you, and your fucking insecurities, I wouldn’t have to keep proving I’m not!”
And that’s not what he means to say, he means to say Kai’s reading into it, that Kai’s misunderstanding him because Cole hs never felt disgusted by Kai but—
Kai’s head snaps toward him, eyes wide, stunned—and there’s hurt flickering in his eyes, shock making his mouth fall open, and Cole can’t help but stare at where Kai’s eyes turn the slightest bit glassy (Cole’s never seen Kai cry; not when Zane died, not when he’d thought he’d lost his sister—not ever) and then they dry over and—
Cole instantly knows he’s crossed a line, knows it before he sees Kai’s face but that solidifies it.
Kai’s expression hardens, and that burns, makes the thing wailing and curled around his ribs tremble, and Cole’s not sure where he’s supposed to go from here, and the mature, responsible part of him tells him he should kick Kai out of his room and let both of their anger sizzle out before this becomes their worst argument yet, and they both say things that they’ll regret forever and, and, and—
“You wanna know what, Cole? Of course it sounded like I meant it, Cole—‘cause I did!” Kai fires back, “I never want to have sex with you, and it’s because of you.”
Cole pushes down all the voices telling him to just get out of the room, “What are you talking about Kai?! We both know it’s y—”
“It’s because of what you said!” Kai yells, cutting him off, voice cracking under the weight of it. “So yeah, guess what? I don’t wanna have sex with you any more than you apparently wanna have it with me!”
Cole blinks, caught between confusion and heartbreak. “Huh?! What the hell are you talking about? When did I ever say I didn’t want to have sex with you?”
“Oh, I dunno, maybe when you told me you hated people like me!?” Kai jabs a finger into the center of Cole’s chest, glaring.
What the fuck was Kai talking about?! About him being trans? That couldn’t even be possible. Cole reels back. “What the hell are you—what does that even mean, Kai?!”
“Oh, don’t act clueless now!” Kai shouts, voice cracking halfway through. “You said it! You said it, and I heard you!”
“Kai, I’ve never—what the hell could I have possibly said that makes you think—”
“Yes you have, you said it to my face!”
Cole takes a deep breath in as he lets his eyes roam all over Kai’s face. He’s always been aware that Kai is trans. He doesn’t really think about it, because frankly he’s never cared. Kai is a guy and that's all that's ever mattered. He knows he’s never said anything to undermine Kai’s gender so then where is this coming from?
He knows, though Kai doesn’t like to mention, that Kai has bad gender dysphoria. That for someone so boldly confident and loud, he often spends a lot of time staring at his reflection, traces his finger over the barley there dip of his waist, or when his irregular cycle comes around because T has never done to Kai what he'd deliriously hoped it would, or when he gazes long and hard at all the scars. Kai is wholly certain in his worthlessness. It’s a lot like Lloyd, but Lloyd seems to doubt only his accomplishments and blame himself, while Kai dwells in his uselessness and looks.
Cole sighs, “Listen, Kai, I’m not sure how you ever came to the conclusion that I hate that you're trans. I’ve never had a problem with it, never will, I’m literally gay, man. I don’t care what’s in your pants, I care about you. That’s never been the issue.”
Kai blinks, his fire flickering for a second, “Uh, what? That’s not what I’m talking about?”
Cole blinks back, “Then what the hell are you talking about?”
“That you hate squirters!” Kai blurts out, like the words have been caged in his throat for months. “You said you can’t stand them, that it’s gross, remember?!”
Cole just stares at him, stunned. “…What?” Is all that can come out of his mouth as he tries to process Kai’s words.
Kai’s breathing hard, angry and embarrassed all at once. “Yeah. That. You said that. And you looked right at me, so don’t you dare tell me I made it up.”
“Kai,” Cole says, slowly, trying to catch up, “I—I don’t even remember saying that. And if I did then I must’ve been, uh, joking?” Cole can’t think of a context where he’d make such a joke but it’s the only explanation he has. The only explanation that won’t embarrass him because admitting that it’s a turn on in a moment like this will be a moment he won’t ever live down.
Kai’s expression falters for half a second, but he shakes his head fast. “Bullshit.”
“I’m serious!” Cole’s voice rises, not out of anger, but because he’s desperate now. “You really think I’d say something like that about you or anyone?!”
Kai’s jaw tightens, and the fury in his eyes flickers into something smaller, almost wounded. “You didn’t have to say it about me, Cole. You said it to me!”
“Then when? Tell me when because I genuinely can not remember!”
“After we went on our third date—when we went gardening!”
Cole blinks. “What—what are you talking about?” He vaguely remembers the date, and very clearly remembers not mentioning his sexual preferences that early on.
“How can you not remember!” Kai’s voice jumps an octave. “You paused, and then looked at me and said you hate how they squirt everywhere when you pick them wrong. You said it made you feel sick because it’s like they pissed their juices on you!”
There’s a pause, long enough for Cole’s brain to catch up and to try and remember what they were doing that day. “Kai,” he says, much more slowly than he usually might’ve, “I was talking about tomatoes. Not…whatever you thought I meant.”
There’s a beat, where Kai stares at him, and then turns an impressive shade of red that could rival the tomatoes that day, “Well, you could’ve been clearer! You just said, ‘I can’t stand when they squirt all over my hands.’ How was I supposed to know?”
Cole snorts, and then pretends he was clearing his throat when Kai glares at him. “Because we were literally in a garden, Kai.”
“Yeah, well, context isn’t my strong suit,” Kai mutters, folding his arms.
“Apparently not,” Cole grins, and the last of the awkwardness finally melts away. Instead, it’s covered by a different tension, where Kai’s gaze is stuck on his lips and then slowly they trail up to his eyes and—
In seconds Kai’s lips are against his, his hands coming to sink into his hair and tug lightly, just enough to push Cole’s head back and expose the expanse of his neck, and Cole would be a liar if he didn’t describe the embarrassing noise that slips past his lips and has Kai grinning smugly.
“There’s no one in the monastery you know,” Kai whispers, letting his hand drift teasingly over Cole’s tank top, “Nya and Jay won’t be back till tomorrow, PIXAL and Zane are still travelling and Lloyd is…doing something with his uncle and mom.”
Cole swallows thickly. There’s something about Kai’s voice in this moment that does horrible things to his brain. “Just…you and me,” he says dumbly, shivering as Kai’s hand drags over his muscles.
Kai snorts at his response, and Cole is too stunned to do anything more than watch as Kai throws his own tank top off in a hurry, before crashing their lips together again.
This, Cole knows. He knows how to kiss Kai like he knows how to…eat cake. It’s the best description he can think of for something he cherishes so deeply. He holds Kai’s face with his hands, sighs into the kiss as Kai’s own hands grip him by the waist. It’s surprisingly chaste for the moment, which makes the growing tent in his pants all the more embarrassing.
Cole can tell exactly when Kai notices his hard on, because he pauses, letting his stray thigh brush over him again. Cole gasps, and it’s followed by Kai smirking smugly against both their lips, leaning back to murmur, “Didn’t know you were this easy to fluster, tough guy. Guess I’ve been holding back for nothing.”
And normally, Cole would’ve been quick to snap back but he’s interrupted by Kai’s thigh making quick work of slinking itself between his thighs and pressing harshly.
“Fuck!” Cole’s fist in the nights where he has time to jerk off are not enough to prepare him for this. He hasn’t actively had sex in years. Which then brings the question— “Kai hold on.”
Kai blinks and then stops, his eyes narrowing in worry, “Did I—?”
Quickly, Cole shakes his head to reassure him, “No it’s not that I just—what do you want me to call your junk.”
“Uh…whatever you want,” Kai shrugs, “I don’t really care. It’s a clit but it’s my dick.”
There’s a lot more questions sitting on Cole’s tongue—they definitely should have discussed before they started this but Cole doesn’t think any of them have the patience and he’s relatively certain their first time will be fairly vanilla so then the one question he really has that’ll change the course of his night is—
“Have you done this before?”
“You mean fucking?” Cole nods his head, “Pft, duh. What type of question is that—”
It’s the best answer Kai could’ve given him. With that out of the way, Cole is quick to push Kai towards the bed, ignoring the muffled shriek Kai lets out to hook his fingers against Kai’s boxers (it’s a bonus in many ways that Kai loved strolling around everywhere with just boxers) and pull them down.
Leaning against his forearms, Kai blinks in shock, watching as Cole parts his legs and settles between the gorgeous sight that is Kai’s cunt. Cole’s much more experienced with dicks and balls, however, he’s no complete stranger to what he’s looking at, even if Kai’s had no sort of bottom growth. Once Kai nods his head, with an ostentatious roll of his hips towards Cole’s face, Cole takes it as his consent. He licks a long stripe from Kai’s surprisingly-much-wetter than he’d expected opening to the jut of his throbbing dick.
The sound Kai lets out is one that’ll haunt his wet dreams for years.
“Fuck—Cole!”
Cole hums from where he’s slowly tracing his tongue over his slick folds. He reaches a hand up to spread his lower lips, and presses down against Kai’s stomach lightly and keeps his folds open so he can suck on his dick. Hard. Kai jerks above him, back arching and mouth parting against a whine, and Cole has never been more thankful that there’s no one in the monastery save for them.
“Oh, shit, just like that baby,” Kai groans, threading his fingers through Cole’s shaggy hair, pulling especially hard when Cole flicks his tongue just right.
It’s a shame he can’t say anything to Kai with his mouth being occupied, but he supposes having his lips wrapped around Kai’s throbbing cock will have to suffice.
It can’t have been more than a couple of minutes of eating Kai out when Kai’s legs tighten imperceptibly around Cole’s head and his incoherent babbels start to sound a lot like—
“I’m so close, oh fuck, I’m so close, don’t—don’t, fuck, stop—”
Cole takes it as his sign to stop, giving Kai’s cock a long, hard lick before he pushes himself back.
Kai’s eyes fly open, and he arches his back—and Cole can’t even tell if it’s subconsciously or not—his hand tightening in Cole’s hair.
Cole grins mockingly, “You said stop.”
Kai’s eye twitches. It might’ve seemed more threatening if it wasn’t accompanied with his panting and twitching dick. “Real funny Cole. I said don’t stop.”
Cole lets a hand trail up Kai’s stomach, then over his faint top surgery scars, drawing a circle over the skin there until Kai shivers deliciously. “Maybe if someone had actually talked about their feelings before jumping to conclusions, we could’ve cleared up our…sexual preferences and safe words. But since that didn’t happen, I guess I’ll just take ‘stop’ as my cue every time.”
“Oh my god, one time—one time—I mix up tomatoes with kink talk and suddenly you’re a saint now?” he snaps, cheeks bright red. “You didn’t even clarify! You just stood there like, ‘ugh, they squirt everywhere,’ like what was I supposed to think, Cole?!”
Cole raises his arms palactingly, “Hey, I’m just following your lead, Mr. Mixed Signals.”
“What part of me moaning ‘I’m close’ made you think that was a good time for a timeout, genius?!”
Cole snorts, and then giggles, burying his head into the dip of Kai’s stomach from where’s sitting up, “Relax hothead. I just wanted to tease you a little.”
Kai lets out a shaky laugh—half-disbelieving, half-exasperated—and curls a hand in Cole’s hair, tugging lightly. “Oh, you think you’re funny, huh?” he says, breath still uneven. “You’re lucky I can’t feel my legs right now or I’d kick your ass.”
Cole raises an eyebrow, “I eat you out for ten minutes and you lose all feeling in your legs? I know I’m good at what I do but I’m not that go—”
“It’s because your fat ass was sprawled on, like, half my legs.”
Cole gawks, “I was literally holding your legs!”
“Yeah, and I was one cramp away from meeting my ancestors, thanks to you.”
Cole rolls his eyes, shifting his body to lower his hand towards Kai’s leaking hole, brushing a finger over it. Kai positively shivers at the light touch, which Cole thinks might be because he brought him right to the edge and then stopped.
Slowly, Cole drags his finger up and down, meets Kai’s eyes when he trails over his clit, and then back down to his entrance. Still holding Kai’s gaze—and the more he presses the more Kai seems to be struggling with holding his back, much to Cole’s delight—-he lets the tip of his finger slip in. Kai’s hips buck the slightest bit, chewing on his lower lip but not making a sound.
Cole sees it as the begging that it is; Kai is too cocky to ever admit to it.
Painstakingly slow, he lets the rest of his finger sink in. The barest hint of a whine escapes Kai’s closed lips and his eyes flutter shut as he lets his head slump back onto the pillow, arm thrown over his eyes.
“Good?” He asks, not moving his arm just yet. Kai nods his head. “You gotta say it.”
He can’t see Kai roll his eyes, but Cole imagines that he does. “Yes, Cole. I’m fine. You can continue.”
Cole snickers, but curls his finger inside of Kai. Immediately, Kai’s legs clamp down around his hand, and his back arches.
“Fuck!” Kai groans, relaxing his legs when Cole taps them and tries to push them down.
“You’re so pent up,” Cole notes, “how long has it been since you’ve touched yourself buddy?” He asks idly, slowly pumping his finger out of Kai’s soaking wet hole and vehemently ignores his dick throbbing in his pants.
“You try jerking off when you have Zane as your bedroom neighbour,” Kai grumbles, shifting his hips, and then muttering something about sensitive nindroid hearing and a whole lot of nonsense Cole doesn’t catch with all the lewd sounds that slip out alongside it, “Besides, it’s not like being a ninja gives me much time to do much of anything. I can’t even get a full night's sleep.”
Cole chuckles, and pauses the movements of his fingers. It is most certainly not because they’ve grown tired. Cole has trained far too long as a ninja for his hand to tire out this fast. “Guess I’m doing us a favor, then.”
Kai raises an eyebrow, “Us?” He gives a breathless scoff, “Pretty sure I’m the one getting a favor.”
Cole smiles, leaning down to litter the inside of Kai’s thighs with quick wet kisses. “Seeing you like this is the best favor I could’ve asked for.”
Kai’s face turns the reddest it has all night, a pretty flush that dusts beyond where he hides his face with his hand. “You’re ridiculous,” he mutters, peeking in between his fingers. “And a sap.”
Cole tuts, “I can’t even compliment my boyfriend without being insulted.”
“Maybe don’t edge me next time and I won’t insult you.”
Cole snorts, but doesn’t reply, opting instead to start moving his hand again slower than before, but curling his finger the slightest bit. Kai sighs, and Cole can see his thighs flexing, trying not to clamp up and squeeze around his hand. He speeds up the movement of his hand—which makes Kai’s thigh shake, and his dick imperceptibly more engorged—and then slows down to let a second finger sink in.
“Oh fuck,” Kai whines, rolling his hips towards Cole’s hand, one hand curling behind him against a pillow and the other around his hair, “Cole—Cole please don’t stop—”
And how can Cole say no to that?
He leans down, taking Kai’s dick in his mouth, sucking harshly against the bundle of nerves, and Kai practically sobs, his fingers pulling tightly against his hair, hard enough to hurt with its intensity. Cole wouldn’t mind living here forever, with Kai’s moans filling the quiet of the monastery like filthy music.
He flicks his tongue against Kai’s dick, lets it roam beneath it, drawing mindless shapes through the soaked folds and then lets his teeth scrape the skin there just the littlest bit, his fingers speeding up, brushing the spot inside of Kai that makes his hips jerk helplessly upwards—
“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—Cole!” Kai’s cries seem to be endless and a bit subconscious, breaking around gasps and his voice cracking, but fuck if it’s not the hottest (pun unintended) thing he’s ever heard. “Yeah, baby, fuck, suck my dick just like that, oh fuck—shit—”
Cole can almost hear the moment the coil tightens inside of Kai and then drags taut and breaks. He quickens his fingers, feels it as Kai squeezes and pulses around his two fingers, and Cole thinks if he hadn’t stopped grinding against the bed the feeling of Kai’s cunt squeezing around him alone might’ve been enough to send him to an early orgasm. Both of Kai’s hands reach down, shoving him closer between his legs, grinding as filthy, rough sobs leave his mouth, his eyes wide open and rolled back, liquid spraying over Cole’s face, and forget living Cole doesn’t think he’d mind dying here.
It’s not until Kai’s hips are trying to jerk away and his legs are almost shaking with overstimulation that Cole leans back, pulling his fingers out slowly. Kai whines at the movement, his hands slipping off of where they were clutching onto his hair.
Cole wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and then grins, “Guess being the son of a master of water certainly has its perks?”
Kai groans, dragging a hand down his face, “Ugh, fuck, don’t ever say that again, Cole.”
“What, I thought that was good!”
“Good doesn’t describe how horrible that was.” Kai mutters, his chest still moving quickly as he tries to catch his breath. It makes Cole perk up in pride at the sight. It also makes his dick throb in his pants; Cole doesn’t think he’s ever been harder in his entire life. It takes Kai a minute, in which Cole litters kisses over Kai’s stomach and thighs, intertwining their hands, before he pushes himself up.
Cole doesn’t have a chance to ask anything before Kai’s pulling him towards him and pushing their lips together. It’s filthy, having Kai taste himself on his lips, filthier the way he moans at the taste, nipping Cole’s lower lip as his hands drift over him, cupping his front with a smirk he can feel against his lips.
Cole is loath to admit the whine that slips unbidden from his lips. Painfully slow, Kai massages his dick through his pants, pulling at his lower lip, deepening their kiss so it’s a filthy mesh of their tongues.
Fuck.
Cole leans away, his hands tightening on Kais’s face as Kai decides to squeeze and speed up. His head falls forward onto the crook of Kai’s neck, and it’s an awkward position, he can already feel a cramp in his side, but it feels so good—
But of course, Kai has to stop—because Kai’s a petty asshole. Cole can practically hear the grin in his voice when he teasingly inches his hands up, fingers brushing along his waist before tugging at the hem of his tank top. Slowly, deliberately, Kai pulls it over his head and tosses it aside.
Cole’s always been proud of his body. He’s worked hard for the muscle, the strength—it’s something solid, something that’s his. And Kai’s no slouch either; almost six feet of lean, sculpted muscles that he never hesitates to show off, but not even him, or Nya, or Zane, and definitely not Jay, compare to the muscles Cole has built up.
Kai’s teasing falters somewhere between Cole’s shoulders and chest, his eyes going wide before he catches himself, trying to hide the sudden flush creeping up his neck, and his chest.
“Fuck,” he murmurs, pushing Cole down on the bed. Cole grins smugly, as if to say you like what you see, and Kai rolls his eyes at his expression.
In some undeserved way of revenge, Kai throws his legs over Cole’s thighs, hovering over him, and Cole feels a lot like a believer looking up at his lord, with the cocky way Kai looks down at him. And then in seconds he’s slumped down, straddling Cole, and rolling his hips against his cock.
Cole can’t stop his back from arching, or his lips from opening in a groan, but then Kai leans forward, close enough for his breath to brush against Cole’s lips, and with that same infuriating mix of boldness and mischief, he reaches up and gives Cole’s nipple a sharp pinch.
“Oh, fuck—” Cole moans, his hands gripping Kai’s waist tightly, sliding his cunt against the front of his shorts, and the pleasure that spikes up his back is enough to make his eyes roll to the back of his head.
He’s horribly pent up, and it’s the only thing that explains why he can feel himself inching closer to release by the second. Or maybe it’s Kai making him feel much more sensitive then he ever has, rolling a nipple between his forefinger and thumb while sucking vehemently on the other, letting his tongue trace the sensitive skin and then flicking his tongue.
“Kai, shit, please—” he begs, his head falling backwards. He doesn’t even know what he’s asking for. “Please—”
Kai raises an eyebrow, slowing down the pace of his rocking hips but not stopping like the stupid tease he is. “What’s that?” Kai asks pityingly, placing a mocking hand on his ear. “I’m not sure what you’re asking for, Cole. Maybe if someone had actually talked about their feelings before jumping to conclusions I’d know what you wanted right now.”
Asshole. Cole grits his teeth. Hearing his words repeated right back at him sends a horrible thrill up his back. If that’s how Kai wants to play then Cole doesn’t mind ruining the fun.
“Please blow me off, Kai. That’s what I want,” he whispers, letting his hands wander away from Kai’s waist and instead to his cock, thumbing the nub idly. Kai’s hips jerk and his expresion twists from smug to something vulgar. “Please baby, suck me off till I cum.”
Kai’s throat bobs. It’s clear the begging does something to him because his cheeks flush a deep red and his pupils widen. Cole adds begging kink to the very top of the list he plans to make. For future references.
Kai pushes himself off of Cole, sliding down the expanse of his thighs and along with him both Cole’s boxer’s and his shorts. His dick stands proud in the dark, leaking precum and throbbing, a deep red from how long it’s been neglected.
Kai stares at it for a moment, and then says dumbly. “Holy fucking shit—nope. No way. Absolutely not, Cole, that thing isn’t going in me.”
“Relax drama queen,” Cole snorts.
Kai gawks, getting his face near it and then flicking it. It bounces, and it really shouldn’t feel as good as it does. Kai looks up at him with wide horrified eyes. “I’m not being a drama queen! Do you see that thing!”
“Everyday, Kai.” Cole says, “You’ll be fine.”
“I’m buying a dildo the size of your dick and then we’ll see what you have to say about being fine,” Kai grumbles, but still leans forward, wrapping a hand around Cole’s leaking dick and squeezing.
Cole’s hips buck, a broken whine falling from his lips at the harsh stimulation. Kai smiles at his response, and loosens his fist, letting a thumb swipe over his seeping tip a couple of times, more times then strictly needed for sure, and using it to lubricate the rest of his hand. Sill holding Cole’s gaze he leans in, swiping his tongue over his sensitive head, before he finally wraps his shiny lips around Cole’s dick and—
Cole might just cum from the sight alone.
His hips buck up, but Kai holds him down with a hand on his waist, eye’s narrowing in warning. Cole nods dizzily, swallowing thickly as Kai slowly takes him deeper, and deeper, his sinful mouth working wonders on his cock, and Cole can do nothing more than thread his fingers through Kai’s surprisingly not gelled hair. It falls down in front of his eyes in small strands where Cole’s hold doesn’t catch it, and somehow it makes Kai look even better; Cole didn't even think that could be possible.
Slowly, Kai speeds up, hollowing his cheeks with every molten drag of his mouth, hand squeezing round the base every so often to stave off Cole’s orgasm and he’s so hard it hurts, so aroused that every tip Kai sucks on the tip of his dick he moans. He’s never been glader the monastery is empty with how loud he’s being.
“Just like that,” he whimpers, tugs harder on Kai’s hair just to feel him hum around his dick, “So good, Kai, so fucking good.”
Kai all but preens at the praise—Cole adds praise kink to the list—-his pace stuttering as he outright moans, eyes rolling back, and it’s only then that Cole squints against the dark and notices Kai’s been fingerfucking himself the whole time.
“Shit that’s so hot baby,” Cole groans, “Keep touching yourself, so good for me.”
Kai’s fingers speed up if the almost inaudible quicking of the squelching sound is anything to go by. His legs spread open a little, just enough so Cole can see the sinful sight between them, and then he pulls off of Cole’s dick entirely, leaning back to circle his clit with his hand, the other curling deep inside of him and the view is so good Cole doesn’t even mind that he’s lost all stimulation.
He wraps his hand around his dick, hissing, and then murmurs, “You close again Kai?”
Wordlessly Kai nods his head hard, his lips parting only to groan. Cole’s mouth feels simultaneously dry and soaked, even if the two can’t work together, at the view; Kai’s back arches, eyes fluttering, chest flushed red, hand rubbing quick circles on his dick, the other one fucking in three fingers fast and hard.
His eyes roll back, and his back arches, and Cole can do nothing more then watch as Kai cums, his cunt pulsing as liquid drips past his fingers, down his thighs and soaking the bed, his moans slipping out his mouth in obscene sounds and fuck, fuck, Cole really wishes he was still between those thighs but being here watching every miniscule detail might just be better. Being able to watch Kai’s hips jerk, and his hands still moving even as his moans turn into overstimulated whines before he slumps forward, right onto Cole.
Cole smiles softly, threading his fingers through Kai’s hair as he tries to catch his breath. He leans down, sucking little hickeys into the crook of Kai’s neck. Kai sighs softly, angling his head to give Cole more space to shower him with mindless kisses. Instead of taking the chance, Cole gently pushes Kai onto his back.
Kai blinks, still basking in the high of his second orgasm, “Cole…?” He asks, his gaze on Cole’s as he leans in and presses their lips together. For all they’ve done tonight, it’s surprisingly a very chaste kiss, neither of them bothering to deepen it. Cole’s hands roam up and down Kai’s naked torso, before settling on his face, holding him tightly, and Kai tries to lift his arms but they slump back down at his sides, much to Cole’s amusement.
Cole leans back, still close enough that their lips are a hair's breadth from touching, close enough that he can count all the faint freckles dotted all over Kai’s cheekbones, close enough that he can see the faint bumps on his scar, where stitches must have been. Cole’s so close and not close enough; he’s not sure how to explain it, but the feeling sits heavy in his chest, deep in his tibs, warm and aching all at once. Kai’s breath brushes against his skin; his fingers brush over his collarbones; Cole’s hands brush through his hair; it feels like the whole world has narrowed down to this—just the space between them, the pulse of shared air, the quiet that hums like a heartbeat.
Cole wants to say something—anything—to name what this is, what Kai means to him. But the words catch somewhere behind his ribs, too fragile to make it out. So instead, he lets the silence speak for him. His hand finds Kai’s jaw, thumb tracing the edge of a faint scar, and then over his lips, tugging lightly on his lower lip.
And when Kai finally closes the distance again, their lips meet softly, and Cole’s never felt so much love inside of him, so much he’s sure it’s going to erupt out of him in small mercies, in impossible increments, in—
“Oh fuck, I forgot you didn’t get to cum yet. My bad,” Kai says suddenly, leaning back to point at Cole’s dick.
Cole blinks, shifting from where he’s sprawled on top of Kai to look down. It’s not that he’s not aware—it’s sort of hard to ignore how hard he is—but he’d sort of just assumed this was it for the night with how exhausted Kai seemed. He shrugs sheepishly, “I don’t mind, I can just take a cold shower or—”
Kai’s face twists into something deeply affronted, “What? No, nope, of course not.” He snorts at whatever surprised expression Cole’s face subconsciously fold to. “Come here you big oaf; we haven’t even gotten to the good shit yet.”
Cole’s eyes squint in confusion, “Uh, what good stuff?” Cole was under the impression everything they’d done so far was good.
Kai snorts, “The good part where you fuck me, Cole. Try to keep up.”
Oh. “Oh.”
“I’d fuck you if I could but I doubt you’ve got a secret strap collection I can borrow.” Cole shakes his head dumbly. “Thought so.”
Cole swallows thickly, “Kai, we—I mean, we don’t have to if you’re—”
Kai presses a finger to Cole’s lips, quieting him. It’s a lot hotter than it should be. “Cole. Do you want to fuck me?”
The answer is obvious. “Of course.” He breathes.
Kai smiles at him, pressing a quick kiss to Cole’s lips, before shifting on the bed to make more room for Cole, spreading his legs open. Cole’s throat bobs, letting his hand reach for in between Kai’s thighs, brushing a finger over his cock. Kai sighs at the light touch, and it gets dragged into a soft moan when Cole slowly pushes in three fingers, moving them in small gestures just to be sure he won't’ accidentally hurt Kai.
It’s not until Kai raises an eyebrow and kicks him with the heel of his foot, that Cole rolls his eyes but reluctantly slides his fingers out, idly sucking on them as he reaches for his drawer to pull out a bottle of lube. He ignores how Kai’s eyes are glued to where his fingers meet his mouth, and instead lowers them, pouring more lube than strictly necessary, and coating his dick in it. He groans quitely, leaning down to adjust his dick against Kai’s opening.
He looks up once, meeting Kai’s heady gaze, and then, when Kai nods his head, Cole takes a deep breath in, then slowly, very slowly, he pushes the tip of his dick inside.
Simutleatniously, both of them moan, and Cole thinks he can already see fucking stars.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck, Cole don’t you dare move—” Kai babbles, his legs hooking around Cole’s waist and his arms around his neck. “Cole I am so fuckign serious, do not move, oh fuck—”
Cole groans, his hands straining from holding himself up in this angle, “Kai, take a breath in and relax—”
“I am relaxed!”
“You’re going to squeeze my dick off in half!”
“You’re going to tear me in half!”
“I won’t if you just relax, you stupid hot head!”
Kai’s eyes squeeze shut, and Cole can almost feel him flutter around his dick as he tries to relax himself. He smiles softly, pressing kisses over Kai’s collarbone as he waits.
“Okay,” Kai says strained after a beat, “You—you can move.”
Slowly, Cole pushes in, Kai’s eyes blinking hard as he does, and his legs tighten around Cole, indirectly pushing him deeper.
“Oh fuck, Cole,” Kai mutters, and then groans when Cole pushes in again, “Kiss me,” he commands, and well, Cole’s never been one to deny his lover his wants. He can’t reach, not without losing balance, but Kai bridges the distance instead—tilting his chin up, catching Cole’s lips in a kiss that’s desperate and soft all at once.
Their mouths move together in slow, searching motions. Cole can’t touch him without losing balance and accidentally fucking his whole dick in—an outcome he does not want just yet—can only feel him—Kai’s breath hitching against his mouth, the warmth of him rising to meet every shallow breath they share. The kiss deepens for a heartbeat, then slows again, until all that’s left is the quiet press of lips and the faint sound of their uneven breathing.
When they part, Kai’s gaze flickers upward, his lips still parted, eyes glassy in the dim light. Cole lets out a shaky laugh, his chest heaving.
“Happy now?” he breathes.
Kai rolls his eyes, “Happy’s a stretch.”
“It’d be nice if you could stretch some more so I could–”
“Shut it, Cole.”
Cole chuckles, but compiles. His dick throbs at the lack of stimuli paired with too much. It’s making him dizzy with pleasure, and a lack of it.
“You know what?” Kai mutters, “Just shove it in, I can’t take it.”
Cole gawks, “Are you stupid? That’s gonna hurt like a bitch!”
“We’re gonna be here all night then!” Kai retorts.
“Here let me just—”
“Fuck!”
Cole stops immediately, eyes widening, “Did I hurt you?”
Kai shakes his head. “No, no but, fuck—keep on going, I’m fine.” Cole’s eyebrows narrow in concern, “Cole, I’m fine. It feels good.”
Cole’s not sure if he buys that but he continues pushing in. Kai’s hands tangle himself deep in Cole’s hair, his back arching, as if wanting more and less at the same time, until Cole’s dick is all the way in.
The expression on Kai’s face is enough to make his balls tighten, enough to make him almost shoot his load. His eyes are rolled back, mouth wide open, helpless whines slipping out with every experimental shift of Cole’s hips, there are faint tear tracks down the sides of his face, and fuck, Cole didn’t even think he had a thing for crying during sex until Kai.
It’s so obscene, it’s the hottest thing he’s ever laid eyes on. Cole’s mouth feels dry.
He pulls back and then pushes back, not rough just yet but enough to jolt Kai into squeezing around him—and Cole’s never been surer that he is not fucking lasting.
“Faster, fuck, faster please—”
Cole grins, and then pulls out, leaves it so that there’s only the tip of his dick still inside and pushes back in. Kai writhes beneath him, his hands clawing down his back, and Cole’s sure he’ll have those marks for weeks to come. The thought only serves to make his dick ache.
He sets a fast pace, or as fast as he can with Kai’s thighs clamped around him, pulling him to the hilt with every erratic thrust. He adjusts his angle, looking for the right one until–-
“Cole!” Kai gasps, his back arching, eyes rolling so far back only white shows, and he’s whining, mewling vulgar sounds, as he reaches for his own cock, tears falling down his cheeks, spit running messily from his mouth, sweat catching at the hollow of his throat. His hole spasms wildly around Cole, as he rubs harsh circles into the sensitive nub, fucking himself onto Cole, meeting him at every thrust.
Cole groans, shifting so that he can grab Kai by the waist and pull back down. Kai practically sobs, his eyes shutting tight, his long legs flexing hard behind Cole. He keeps his cinched grip around Kai, speeds up the pace, until both of them are moaning in tandem, wanton noises slipping through the obscene squelching sounds.
Kai is quivering beneath him, one hand tangled deep in Cole’s hair, tugging so hard it sends sparks of pleasure down Cole’s back, the other rubbing harsh circles into his dick as Cole’s cock abuses the swollen spot inside of him.
“Close–fuck, I’m—I’m so close, Cole—” Kai gasps, his lips trembling around a cacophony of vulgar sounds.
Cole’s head leans backwards as he see’s stars, “Me—oh, shit, me too, fuck, me to baby.”
“Inside,” Kai babbels, “Please Cole, inside, please, don’t stop I’m so fucking close.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck—” Cole’s so close he can see it, can feels his balls tightening with reealse, can feel Kai squeezing him so hard he almost can’t thrust. He leans down, smothering their lips together, and it’s the filthiest kiss they’ve ever shared, with both of their lips open, moans slipping out, as both of them get closer and closer—
“I love you, oh fuck, fuck, I love you Cole, love you so much babe, fuck, love you—” Kai sobs, his lashes damp, and his hand falling from his hair to rake his nails painfully down his back, the mattress groaning beneath them.
“Love you too,” Cole whispers, “I love you so much—” He punctuates his words with a hard thrust towards Kai’s sweet spot. Kai responds by writhing beneath him, clenching tighter and—
He’s not sure which one of them cums first, it might've been Cole whimpering and spilling inside that started Kai’s orgasm, or maybe it’s Kai’s cunt fluttering harshly, squirting lightly over the both of them that starts his, or maybe it’s both of them at the same time, with their lips on each others, muttering I love you’s that neither of them really catch.
After a beat, Cole pulls out slowly to not jostle Kai, but Kai still winces at the stimulation, and then he unceremoniously slumps down on top of Kai. Kai grunts, and it’s a testament to how tired and strung out he must be that all he does is weakly push on Cole’s shoulder blades.
“...asshole,” he mutters. And then his hands fall on top of Cole’s back, wrapping him in a light hug.
Cole hums weaky back, sighing in annoyance as Kai licks the side of his neck. “Stop licking my neck.”
“Then get off’a me.” Kai grumbles.
He’s already holding himself above Kai a little bit, enough to not fully squash him. “...no.”
Kai, defiantly, licks a stripe from his shoulder to his ear.
Cole, defiantly, does not move.
There’s a beat of silence before the two of them absolutely lose it.
Kai’s the first to crack—a small snort that turns into a full-blown wheeze, his head thunking back against the pillow as he tries and fails to hold it in. Cole lasts maybe two seconds longer before his composure breaks, laughter spilling out of him in helpless bursts that shake through his chest and down into Kai.
“Stop—” Kai wheezes, clutching at Cole’s sides even as he laughs harder, his whole body trembling beneath him. “You’re—heavy, fuck, you’re—digging—into—me—”
“Then—stop—licking—me—” Cole manages between fits of laughter, words breaking apart around the sound of it. His chest hurts with how hard he’s giggling, though he’s not even sure why, and every time he looks down at Kai’s stupid, flushed, scrunched-up face, a new wave of laughter hits him.
Kai snorts again—actually snorts, like a pig—and that’s it. Cole collapses entirely onto Kai, half from wheezing, half from gravity, burying his face against Kai’s neck as they both dissolve into breathless hysterics. Their laughter overlaps—wheezes, giggles, the occasional gasp for air—until neither of them can tell who's shaking who anymore.
When it finally dies down, Cole’s still trembling from the aftershocks, his breath hot against Kai’s skin. Kai’s hand slides weakly up his back, the gesture lazy and fond.
“Fuuck,” Kai murmurs, “That was really good.”
“Mhm,” Cole hums, and then stiffens for a minute, “Sorry.”
Kai blinks, shifting in confusion. “For what?”
“For what I said earlier. Our, uh, little argument. Kai, I didn’t mean—”
Kai sighs fondly, ruffling his hair, “Cole I know you didn’t mean it. It’s fine.” Cole must make a face because from below him Kai rolls his eyes. “I swear I’m fine. I said some hurtful shit too. I say hurtful shit once a year. This is your first time. You’re fine.”
His words make something inside of Cole flutter horribly. He turns his head around, pressing a kiss to Kai’s cheek, or his chin really, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Kai mutters, smiling as he throws his arms over Cole’s shoulder.
They should get up, they should go and get cleaned up, sit in the bath together until their fingers get pruny, and they pass out in there. But instead, neither of them make a move to get up, despite how sweaty they are, and the mess between both of their legs.
Cole’s eyes slowly flutter shut, listening to the sound of Kai’s heartbeat beneath his ear.