Work Text:
It’s another language development day. Yippee.
Honestly, more than anything, being on the Hail Mary for more than two years reminds me of being back in school. There are those same elements of complete aimlessness, unbreakable routine, deep friendship, learning a ton of stuff you’re probably never going to realistically apply in your life, extreme depression, not knowing if you’re gonna even be alive in a year…
Okay, well, that got pathetic near the end there. I’m not THAT depressed. Rocky and I still periodically try to liven things up around here to the best of our abilities. There are a lot of things to do with every single piece of software humanity has ever thought up. But Rocky’s the main thing keeping me semi-sane. And one of the core components of our interactions? Him teaching me stuff and vice versa.
Ever since that fateful day we had decided to stick to a more routine schedule, Rocky had decided it was a good idea to start teaching me actual Eridianese. Not that rudimentary caveman talk he’s been using for me this whole time. It makes sense. When (if) I get to Erid, not everyone’s gonna be as accommodating as he is.
It’s been some pretty basic stuff. The word ordering is most of it. He’s just started talking the way he normally would around another Eridian and charging me with figuring out what he’s trying to say by mentally unscrambling the sentence structure. Past that, though, he’s been using more complicated vocabulary and more specific vernaculars, which means we’ve got into some pretty in depth discussions about what certain words ACTUALLY mean without simplifying them for the sake of easy communication. Not only that, but Rocky talking quicker and more casually around me has allowed me to translate his speech much more colloquially in my head as I become more fluent, so he sounds less like an alien trying to make conversation and more like… a person, trying to make conversation.
Case in point: Rocky’s funny. Like, really funny. Like, in a witty, tongue in cheek, sailor mouth kind of way that I couldn’t even pick up on with my A1 Eridianese skills. He just revealed to me that a word he’s claimed this whole time has just been ‘emphasis’ is actually extremely vulgar.
I look up from my notepad. I learned pretty early on that using physical media makes me feel more connected to the hundred and twenty five square foot world around me than typing stuff out on a computer does. I do still have my laptop open next to me, though, just for the sake of having stuff on file. “Wait, sorry, you’ve been swearing this whole time?”
“I mean, sometimes. When I’m particularly frustrated.” He hunkers down, embarrassed.
“Dude! You say that all the time!”
“It was a fun freedom to live by! You not understanding!”
I snicker, leaning back into my wall of pillows. The blanket fort has come together extremely nicely over the years. Ceiling, lights, an entrance, a Rocky Wall… it’s got all the essentials. “Okay, bud. I’m gonna need a specific English swear word to attribute it to, though.”
“Hm… you could say it around friends casually…”
“Does it have any connotations? Like, um…”
Yeesh. Translating swear words from English to Eridian is way harder than you’d expect it to be. The hyper-annoying source of this being that half of all the English swear words are vulgar in some way having to do with sex, and Eridians don’t have any negative connotations around sex or sexual desire at all. Mostly because they don’t experience it.
Rocky had explained to me in a lengthy discussion that Eridians don’t feel sexual attraction in the same way humans do. Our sexual feelings are entirely irrational and hormonal and borne from evolution’s grand desire to perpetuate the species with someone of the opposite sex. Eridians have the urge to perpetuate the species the way humans have the urge to perpetuate the species- except for humans our urges involve nakedly thrusting onto and violating our fellow humans, and Eridians’ urges involve just… laying eggs. If they happen to be next to another Eridian’s eggs, great! Species perpetuated! But no specific other Eridian actually has to be actively involved in the process of babymaking.
The whole “mates” thing for Eridians is entirely a social construct. In much the same way a life partner is for us, I guess, except this time it’s even more potent. Because sexual desire for your partner isn’t even a factor in the equation. For them, it’s purely based on emotional or intellectual connection.
Anyway, point being: the negative connotation surrounding sex as it pertains to dehumanization just straight up isn’t a thing for them. It’s not something you can talk about to demean another Eridian or make fun of them or express desire for them. It’s just… something that happens. Therefore: no vulgar words pertaining to it.
So. So… “fuck”, is off the cards, really.
“Do you use it to express anger or frustration?”
“Yes, mostly.”
“‘Shit’, maybe? Or… is it used as a prefix or a suffix for emphasis? Like you said it was?”
“Yes. You can attach it to basically anything to express frustration.”
“Sounds a lot like ‘ass’ to me. Here, wait, use it in a sentence and let me see if it makes sense.”
“You got it. Um…” I’ve taken some creative liberties with imagining Rocky’s speech. If he says something that at its most basic level translates to “understood” and I take that to mean “you got it”, well. Sue me. “Grace is clumsy-ass.”
“Hey!” I grin. “Jerk! Okay, but that works. Give me another example of how you’d use it.”
“Grace is dumb-ass.”
“You’re not allowed to use me in your examples anymore.” Said examples were a bit weird without articles. But it’s fine. I can mentally translate a few articles into there. Eridian speech doesn’t HAVE articles, much like a lot of human languages, so. I just sort of have to insert them myself.
Rocky titters. Eridian laughter. Another strange constant across star systems, apparently. “Sorry.”
“Okay, new word: Rocky… is an asshole.”
“What does that mean? I have a feeling I am not gonna like it.” He still says his little ‘question’ after every question, obviously, but it’s gotten easier to let it slide under the radar of my mental translation over the years. It’s just a single one-chord note.
“Swear word for a jerk.”
“Ah. Eridian word is ♫♩♪.”
I huff, smiling. “Well, you’re not gonna hear it from me often. I don’t like swearing.”
“I know. Which I find weird. Is there some human stigma around swearing?”
“Sort of? For some people? But for me it’s not a stigma. It’s just that I spent so much time around kids that I conditioned myself out of being vulgar. So now it feels unnatural to say them.”
“That makes sense. Interesting that swearing is a consistent concept across planets.”
I shrug, readjusting my position. I’ve been sitting here for so long my butt’s gonna start growing roots. “I guess. But it’s a consistent concept across every human language, so I guess it makes sense that any intelligent species would evolve particularly vulgar ways to be mean to each other.”
“It is the same with Eridian languages.”
I’m quiet for a second. “Kind of… depressing, isn’t it? That we’re all coming up with more and more creative ways to be jerks to each other?”
Rocky waves a hand. Which I’ve come to realize is a shrug. “I like to think we are just touching every possible base. You know? Every language has also come up with more and more creative ways to be nice to each other.”
That’s true. I grin. “Right. Like how I could call you a whole bunch of different terms for ‘my best friend’.”
“Oh?” His carapace tilts.
“Yeah, like, uh… my partner in crime, my best BUDDY, my platonic soulmate… you’re a pal and a confidanttt…”
“I am very flattered, but why did you sing those last words?”
“Long story. Earth… thing. TV show. It’s from a TV show.”
“I should just stop asking. Half the time if I don’t understand something you say it is from a ‘TV show’ or ‘movie’.”
“Or, alternatively-“ I wiggle my pencil in the air tantalizingly- “we could add all of the things I reference to our list of stuff to watch!”
“There is no way every single thing you reference would appeal to me.”
I wave him off. “Nah, I think you’d like The Golden Girls.”
“You say that about everything.”
“And I have a success rate of, like… thirty percent.”
Rocky’s silent for a moment. “That proves my point.”
“Shush. I think you’re too picky.”
He titters, amused. “It is my prerogative. I am an alien.”
“A picky alien.”
We let the post discussion silence marinate for a little bit. I take my time to finally relieve my butt of its stress and lay down on my back, staring at the comforter ceiling of my fort. Rocky breaks the silence.
“Eridianese has lots of words for best friend, too.”
I turn to look at him. He’s fidgeting with his cool Eridian pen by rolling it back and forth on the floor. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You are all of them. But I don’t know if I have told you my favorite.”
“You have a favorite term for ‘best friend’? Nerd.”
“Well, now I will not tell you. Moment ruined.”
“No, no,” I grin, “go on. I’m sorry.”
The pen shifts in his claw. I’ve noticed his fidgeting with it has become sort of a nervous tick lately. Not that he has much to be nervous about, but if he’s idle, chances are you’ll find him with it in his hand. “Word is ♫♫♩. It means… someone you find meaning in. That inspires you, or gives you a purpose. That’s the first word I think of when I think of you.”
That’s… beautiful.
I blink, awestruck, as my heart grows three sizes in my chest. Really. This must be what the grinch was feeling at the end of the book. I get it now.
“Aww. Buddy.” It then occurs to me that I can’t just let that confession marinate. I scramble to think of a more worthwhile response. “I… I mean, obviously, I feel the same, but I don’t think English has a corresponding word.”
“That is okay. It is the meaning behind the word that is important, right?”
I smile. I don’t know why- actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly why. But I’m more emotional lately. It’s my body constantly desiring to feel something other than this god awful derivative boredom. It just absolutely jumps at the opportunity to cry these days.
Well- I don’t cry. But I do feel the urge. I always do when Rocky gets all honest. Which is very often, mind you. He’s an honest guy.
“Rocky,” I say, then pause. I don’t know why I always hesitate to tell him how much I appreciate him. He saved my life, dangit. A little verbal appreciation is quite literally the least I can do. “Thank you. For being my friend.”
“Of course. I could thank you for a lot more than that.”
“We’ve been over this. No need.” Then, under my breath, “thank you for being a frienddd…”
“Is this more ‘The Golden Girls’ singing? Or is this a different ‘TV show’?” I really don’t know how he manages to make a few notes of whale song sound so exasperated.
“Yes, it’s still Golden Girls. But don’t diss The Golden Girls.”
“I will ‘diss’ whatever I want.”
I can’t help the warm feelings that bubble in my chest. As much as I hate being here, I really do love being with him.