Work Text:
The mask of The Frontman was my shield
No one could see the husk I’d become
Nothing to see, nothing to feel
Nothing to need, nothing to want
Nothing to save, nothing to kill
A ghost was all that remained with no soul to bear
Stubborn and headstrong was she
My joy, my love, my wife
The most precious piece of my world
With a heart of gold on her sleeve
Too good hearted and too pure
Willing to risk her illness and her life for our child-to-be
But too late and broken was I
To save her and our soon-to-be miracle
Both had been taken from me too soon
So swiftly stolen away before I had the chance
To save my hopes from tumbling to the ground
To continue to live life with faith in my heart
Nowhere to go, no hope for humanity left
Soul broken and buried deeper than the earth
My body kept moving, like a plane with no pilot
Watching everything from then on happen
My return as Frontman, overseeing the games
The greed in players’ eyes at the promise of money
Everything humanity would die for
Everything that crushed any kindness
Broke any shred of good people thought they had
Would be the winner’s for the taking
Would pay off any debt they had drowned in
Would give them a better life than what could have been
But in all my years of living, all my time as Frontman
Nothing could’ve prepared my dissociated mind
For the power that awaited in this year’s game
In the time that I’ve known nothing but the cold and dark
I never anticipated the light or the warmth
Of a fire that burned brighter than the Sun itself
I never anticipated you…
A middle-aged father with a gambling problem
Divorced with no one but his mother for support
Buried in debts like the rest of those players
All that and you still had hope and a smile on your face
And I couldn’t wait to snuff out that flame, that hope you still held onto
You proved to be an interesting case
Subverted my expectations at every given chance
Despite every obstacle stacked against you
Every opportunity to take what you wanted
Even if survival was your goal to the end
Not one bone in your body was rotten
It seems that I underestimated
The power of your hope
It still burned bright like a beacon in the night
No matter how many times you’d been deceived
Nor how many times they took advantage of you
Your smile may have gone, but your faith still shone brightly
I can’t help but wonder; How did you do it?
You made it seem so easy
As though it’s the only way to live
The more I wondered, the more I wanted to understand
And the more envious of you I became
Your heart, your stubbornness, reminded me so much of—
You had the chance of a lifetime
You had everything you needed
You had a plane to catch
The chance to see your daughter again
The chance to start a new life
You could have had it all, you could have lived
And you let it all go to waste
All in the name of your perception of justice
Or maybe you just acted on plain ignorance
All to track me down, to break this cycle of carnage
Who would’ve thought that a heart so pure
Could offer so much to a world that won’t give back in kind?
You shouldn’t have come back
You should’ve been with your daughter
I’d have taken that chance in a heartbeat
And yet, there you were, demanding to reenter
Demanding another chance to save the doomed and damned
Yet, another display of your ignorance
You were good, too good, though not good enough
Better than you were the first time
But less casualties isn’t equal to none
You wanted so badly to play as their hero
So I thought I’d humour you and your little game
After all, what’s a hero without his adversary?
I never thought I’d put myself back there again
Back into the very games that started my downfall
But you of all people returning there?
I couldn’t resist the opportunity to learn
Just what drove you to keep going down
This path of never ending pain and misery
You’re a puzzle, I began to think
A puzzle that really had me stumped
A game where I was the only player
A challenge that made me keep going
Just when I started to think I had you figured out
You kept surprising me, time and time again
You’d fight to save as many lives as possible
And yet you wouldn’t kill those who tried to take them
You’d stage a rebellion against your captors
But you’d allow a select few to die for it
I was equal parts proud of that ruthlessness
And—oddly enough—confused and regretful
What did you do to bring back these old feelings?
How did you manage to dig up the soul I long since forgot I’d buried?
Even under an alias, I felt like I could be me
Around you and the people we stuck by
Could this have been some kind of sign from her beyond the grave?
That the world would finally make the change it has always needed?
I realised too late that I’d gotten way too close
You made me question everything I was doing
Just to understand how you thought, why you did this
What you gained from showing kindness to those who didn’t deserve it
You were far too good for this world, too stubborn
You were far too much like her, and that’s why betraying you hurt
The mask of The Frontman was my prison
No one could see what I was underneath
Too much to see, too many feelings
I needed to get out, I wanted you to get out
I could’ve saved you, but you’d have to kill them
And with them, kill the fire, the hope in you that I could not
The mask was my shield, but taking it off
Broke my heart more than your knife ever could
I’d rather have had my own eyes gouged out
Than to look up at yours, at your hurt and your tears
I wish it hadn’t come to this, your friend was a good one
He could’ve made it out if you hadn’t forced my hand
You could have killed me, gotten it over with
Finally learned that this world does not tend to forgive
But deep down, I knew what you would’ve done
Deep down, I wanted you to prove me wrong
That not all hope in humanity was lost
That you could continue to keep that hope alive
When I looked at you, not only did I see her
When I looked at you, I saw a mirror
And in that mirror, in you, I saw myself
I saw me, had I chosen a different path
I saw me, had I kept my hope alive
I saw who I could have been had I not drowned in nothingness
The greedy pigs I’d been forced to feed
Had never been satisfied with what they were given
Had they not been there to watch that game
I’d have had you out of that hell in a heartbeat
That child would be in your care
And I would not have lost my love a second time
Stubborn and headstrong to the end
My fire, my light, my hope
A most precious treasure in this world
A diamond in the rough
Too good hearted and too pure
Willing to lay down your life for a child not your own
Far from you, your daughter waited
I could not look her in the eyes
I see her and I see you
You should be here with her
To see her one last time
She had been so lucky to have you in her life
Right now I can do no more than offer closure where I can
There is still so much left to be done
For this world to truly change its course
And I will make it so that your kindness is honoured,
Remembered for the many lives it had saved
And for opening eyes that stayed closed for too long
The games still stand all over the world
Like a parasite breeding nonstop
Eating away at the unfortunate
Believing themselves untouchable
Well, I await the day that your fire, your hope,
Burns them all down to ashes in the ground