Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

December 14th, 2007. 6:34am.

Jecka took a very shaken breath; it felt like she was running a marathon, constantly competing against her own weight. She stared down at the scale. The scale that either meant she was doing something right or she needed to go on strike again. She took a small step forward before stopping. She wants to cry. She wants to turn away and run forever until she became skinny, just like Nicole. Swallowing hard and taking another hesitant step, she was on the scale. She looked down as it started calculating her weight.

Jecka stopped eating when she was 15. Her body started to develop more, and she was unhappy with the way it looked. She spiraled more when she met Nicole a year later. The skinny, pretty sociopath she was deeply jealous of. She considers Nicole a friend, but she can't help this awful stinging in her gut whenever Nicole bends over and her stomach doesn't roll the way Jecka's does, how her thighs don't spread as soon as she sits down. Jecka is so envious it hurts. So she has to punish herself more.

She slowly looked down at the scale as it finished calculating her weight. She felt her stomach drop, her heart stop, and the tears of fear and humiliation start. She had gained 4 pounds. Fuck!

—  December 14th, 2007. 12:29pm.

“Jecks? Helloooo!”

…. silence.

Nicole took ahold of Jecka’s hand, waving it in front of the girl who looked very sick. Jecka snapped out of her daze, taking her hand back suddenly. She takes a deep breath.

“What, Nicole?” Her tone rising in irritation.

“You never answered when I told you about how Jeffery was talking in his Elmo voice again. I skipped the rest of the morning classes.” Nicole responded, picking up a chip from Jecka’s lunch. Jecka barely ate anymore, or at all. Her stomach was constantly upset and hurt like hell. It always felt like someone was taking a knife and stabbing her over and over.

Nicole had noticed how Jecka’s eating habits had definitely slowed down over the past few months; she wasn’t stupid. She couldn’t really care either. She knew Jecka most likely had an eating disorder since she always is smoking and drinking water, says it helps keep her weight in check.

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Bitch, what the hell do you mean? Jeffery is not cool, he’s weird and a fucking loser.” Nicole raised her tone slightly to get her point across. But apparently Jecka didn’t think of that.

“Why are you yelling at me?!” Jecka suddenly stood up, her eyes wide. She tugged on her hair when she looked down at Nicole’s surprised expression. She quickly realized other people rather than just Nicole were looking. Her face flushed red with embarrassment before she sat back down, leaning her head on the table and covering it with her arms.

Nicole blinked before pulling her phone out. “I’ll leave you alone if you want, but I wasn’t yelling at you.”

Jecka felt the tears welling in her eyes. It was wonders what starving yourself did to your emotions. You can go from happy, to irritated, to sad and humiliated. She felt like Nicole was judging her, like all Nicole could focus on was her body. Her body she wished was just like the magazines and movies.

Nicole heard a small whimper, or maybe a sob; she wasn’t sure. But she was sure she saw Jecka’s shoulders shaking.

“Why’re you crying?” Nicole whined out. She wasn’t good when it came to people with other emotions other than anger. She was a sociopath so obviously nobody else mattered to her other than herself.

Jecka shrugged. She couldn’t tell Nicole she was starving herself, even if it was really obvious.   She could feel her phone vibrating in her pocket, and it was annoying the hell out of her. She pushed her phone onto the lunch table, still not looking up.

Nicole, impulsively, took Jecka’s phone from the table. The pink, swirly flip phone that Jecka had added a pink butterfly sticker to. She opened the phone up, seeing the screen light up.

”Damn, Kylar is texting you. How’d he get your number?” Nicole said with a touch of disgust in her voice. She scrolled through some of the messages. Some ranged from actual deranged pedophile shit to “I miss your boobs lemme lay on them”, with the most fucked up spelling ever. Nicole glanced up at Jecka, then back at Jecka’s phone. She set Jecka’s phone down and rolled her eyes. “He’s so fucking disgusting. I wish I could choke him but he’d probably be into that shit.”

Jecka just groaned, lifting her head from her arms. She looked over at Nicole, a weird look on her face.

”I like, sorta got drunk the other night at Kelly’s party and you left me to go get high with Emily. And I tried to drink with Kelly but that sluts tolerance to alcohol is so fucking high. And the I got super drunk and Kylar offered drugs to have sex. I didn’t go unconscious though. But now we’re like dating or something.”

”Bitch, what?! You’re dating a pedophile! A pedophile and a somnophilia!” Nicole whispered yelled, but made sure Jecka got the point. “He could come over any time we’re hanging out and rape us both.”

Jecka groaned again, too tired to actually care. She was too focused on her stomach trying to eat itself and the annoying ass headache that was slowly chipping away at her head. She tried to make the grumbling sound of her stomach to stop, but it was too late, and loud. Nicole cringed, picking another chip off Jecka’s plastic lunch tray. 

“Try eating something, dude. I really don’t wanna carry your unconscious body around when fucking Kylar thinks he can do whatever he wants because you guys are fucking dating!”

Jecka groaned again, rolling her eyes. She stuck out a skinny hand, her wrists becoming really small. She picked up a chip from the bag Nicole was eating out of. She took a small bite, then set it down. She didn’t want to ruin all her progress and binge eat.

Nicole felt slightly better that Jecka was willing to try it, but quickly got annoyed when Jecka took the smallest bite known to man.
“Bitch. Take a bigger fucking bite. Go like this-“ Nicole shoved a chip in her mouth, purposely smacking her lips. “Mmmm, so yummy. I’m eating fooood!”

Jecka just rolled her eyes, again. She was way too tired to actually care, again. And the headache that had started as a dull ache in the back of her skull was starting to spread everywhere. It felt like a migraine. Fuck. And Emily had run out of any sort of pain meds. Guess that’s why she’s keeping Kylar around for a little longer. Drugs.                                       She quietly laid her head back into her arms, waiting for lunch to be over.

As the two fell silent, an uncomfortable silence stretched out between the two. Jecka was hurting in more ways than one, and Nicole was hung up on the idea of Jecka dating the schools known pedophile.

Nicole’s not happy with the idea of Jecka ‘dating’ Kylar, the one who raped Jenny Filmore in freshmen year, and although Nicole wasn’t there for it, it still made its rounds around the school.

I mean, it’s not like Nicole’s cares for Jecka anyway, and besides being friends with Jecka is just for the social leverage, right? The pretty, blonde, great body looking girl she befriended is just for social leverage, nothing else..

Chapter Text

December 16th, 2007. 7:30pm.

Jecka was hunched over the toilet, wet tears hitting the toilet seat. She finally shoved two fingers down her throat, feeling the familiar burning sensation of puke rise in her throat. It’s genuinely felt awful. The hunger, the puke, the feeling of still being fat.

When she was finally done, she flushed it all down, slouching against the wall beside the toilet. This sucked, and Nicole was supposed to be coming over any second now; and Jecka was puking up all her dinner.

— 7:54pm

Nicole hated seeing Jecka’s parents so she either walked in through the back door or climbed through Jecka’s bedroom window. 
She tried Jecka’s window, but Jecka wasn’t there. Weird. She climbed back down and walked in through the back door, her shoes squeaking as she trailed in dirt and probably mud since it was previously raining outside. 

squish squish - god her shoes were so fucking loud.
She was surprised Jecka’s parents, who were in the living room, didn’t hear her. Or maybe they did and just didn’t care. Who knows. 

Nicole climbed up the stairs, leading to various rooms. She could immediately tell which ones was Jecka’s because it had a sign nailed into the door. Jessica’s room!♡ Nicole knew she should probably knock because she had walked in on Jecka masturbaiting but she didn’t actually give a fuck.

When Nicole walked through Jecka’s bedroom door, she noticed there was no sign of Jecka in there. She rolled her eyes, hating that she’d have to be alone, even if it was for a little bit. Even if Nicole would never say it out loud, she hated being alone. Being trapped in her own thoughts made her feel even more depressed than she actually is.

The silence was loud. Nicole hated silence. She decided to start calling out for Jecka.    “Jeckkkkaa~ where are youu?” She said while hanging off of Jecka’s bed. 

A few more minutes went by, and Nicole was getting tired of waiting. She was also very impatient because she’s Nicole - what else? She groaned, pulling herself off of Jecka’s bed. She walked towards Jecka’s bathroom that was connected to her room. 

  “Jecka?” Nicole called out, knocking on the bathroom door. “You in there? I really don’t wanna be alone - what if your dad starts preying on me; I’m not strong enough to pull his 300 pounds of fat off me.”

Jecka gasped, lifted her head up as she heard Nicole knock. She had fallen asleep. Fuck! She wasn’t ready for Nicole to come over yet. 
She pulled herself up, using the toilet as an object to ground herself since she was far too weak to get up herself. She quickly rushed towards the sink.

“Hold the fuck up, Nicole! Im almost done- I was like.. shitting!”

Nicole snorted, leaning against the bathroom door. She played with her hair that was tied into a ponytail. 
“Hurry up. I brought the drugs,” Nicole paused for a second, deciding if she liked the silence or not. She decided she did not like the silence, so she kept talking. “I was gonna bring some of the Xanax Emily was selling, but that crazy hoe wanted $12 a pill. So I just bought Percocet from Kylar and gave him one of Kelly’s titty pics and said it was yours”

Jecka nodded, opening up the bathroom door. She smiled weakly at Nicole. 

“Hi- sorry.”