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It's summertime, and the sun is bright and luminous in the air. As such, all the other kids are running about outside, enjoying nature to its fullest. Similar to his white haired companion, who spends a majority of his time lingering in the communal playroom, the whole outdoors isn't exactly Matt's thing. He would much rather find a good couch to lie on and use his Game Boy.
Considering he's spent so many of his leisurely hours here, Matt has noticed quite a few things about Near.
First and foremost, he's always either making or disassembling something, more often than not, the former.
A house of cards, model aircrafts, a functioning railway set as well as a running schedule. Near had claimed it was so important to remain timely, he'd left mealtime and classes early just to haul passengers on and off the train. Whatever it was, if it existed, Near had already made it or it was in his plans for the future.
However, more often than not, rather than creating something entirely new, he would remake his old creations that had been demolished. That's another thing. His creations never tended to stay up for long. Whether it was by his own doing, where, after a certain amount of time had passed, he would impassively destroy hours of work, or due to Mello's usual havoc-causing habits, they would always meet their timely demise.
So far, the longest one standing after being built is six hours. It was an intricately built classroom, the walls made of cardboard and chairs of bottlecaps. Near was usually the type to play in solitude, but he had actually invited Matt to play, though he stated that naturally, he would be taking the role of teacher since he was smarter than the older boy.
The battery on Matt's console was growing dead anyway, so the two of them played for a considerable length of time, little doll heads bobbing around until Mello came along. In all his Godzilla rage, depsite being down with an immense fever, he had stomped on it all, crushing the students' dreams of education as well as their non-existent skulls.
Now, as he peers over his screen, Matt notices that today Near is building something new. With the heightening foundation of blocks, all he can assume is that it's some sort of building. When the finer details appear, pews lined up for people to sit, a stained glass window and white decorations draped everywhere accompanied by flowers, Matt gains a better understanding.
Intrigued, Matt places his device on the couch and crouches down beside him as he gasps with feigned offence.“No way, a wedding and I wasn't invited?”
“You are,” Near says, and from the palm of his hands fall the little wooden versions he's made of several residents in the orphanage, all sleeked up and covered in varnish. Matt has a black piece of cloth over his usual outfit, as well as a miniature tie. “You're the best man.”
“Oh, am I?” He questions, watching as all their peers fill the rows of seats. “Who's the wedding for then?”
Without any hesitation, he opens his other hand to reveal two more dolls which Matt recognises instantly. Near himself, a white fabric over his previous attire in the place of a suit. And Mello, with a longer fabric, to replicate a dress. “Mello and I are going to get married,” he says.
Matt has to do his best to hold in the laugh attempting to erupt from his throat. It's not that he thinks it's embarrassing or babyish. He and Near have shared much too many games, the plotlines often taking stark and disturbing turns, for him to hold such an opinion of him.
And considering Near's equal obsession with the blonde, his having a crush on him isn't the most surprising thing ever either. More so, the thought of the real Mello, realising what's happening, and his reaction is a sight much too funny to be missed.
“Sweet. You've clearly put a lot of work into this. I think you make a fine groom,” Matt then rises from his position. “I've gotta go do something real quick, but feel free to continue on like I wasn't even here.”
Near merely gives a quiet hum of acknowledgement, and Matt makes quick work of his journey up to his and Mello's shared bedroom.
Once he opens the door, he's met with the familiar sight of his roommate bent over his desk, sprawling down line after line in his meticulous study routine. Some days he can go on like this for hours until Matt catches on and drags him into the light again. And with what's happening downstairs, he's sure Mello could use a well-deserved break to go see it.
“Hey Mel, I've got something to show you,” he says.
He doesn't look up from his page so Matt takes the liberty of taking the book he's looking at for reference and slamming it shut. When he comes back into his room later and realises he hadn't gotten to mark the page he had last left on, he'll probably strangle Matt with his pillow, but that's an issue for future him to deal with.
“What is it?” He groans.“You know we have exams coming up. I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly fond of wasting my time.”
In a certain regard, Mello is also somewhat like them. At least during exam season, he doesn't like going outside much either, not even to terrorise the other kids. Before Mello gets another chance to refute, Matt is already grabbing him by the hand and leading him towards the doorway. “It's something you won't want to miss, trust me.”
Mello rolls his eyes but falls prey to his friend's persistent efforts, tailing behind him as they head down the stairs. “Fine. But if it's just you beating another high score, I swear I'm going to break that stupid toy of yours.”
As they reach the entrance to the playroom, Matt raises his finger and hints at absolute silence so the scene in front of them will play as needed. Lucky for them, they manage to arrive at just the right time.
At the front of the church, the two figurines of Mello and Near stand facing each other as the officiator, who Matt swears is just a big-headed version of Roger, asks them to make their vows.
“Do you take Mello to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He asks, voice low and gruff.
Near makes his doll nod. “Yes, I do.”
Matt doesn't even need to take extra precautions to keep Mello quiet, his utter shock at the situation leaving him speechless,
“And Mello, do you take Near to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“Yes, I do.” This time around, his voice is all squeaky, like a pubescent boy on helium.
The old man's voice returns for the officiator. “Then you may now kiss.”
He brings the dolls together and in front of the cast of Wammy’s House, they begin aggressively making out on the altar. Mello screeches, pouncing through the door.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”
Near remains unphased, the toys continuing to make out even as he speaks. “I'm playing weddings. Do you want to join?”
He makes a retching sound. “Of course not! Why would I ever want to marry you?”
Although faint, Near's expression shifts into something reminiscent of a frown. “It's just pretend,” he says. “These aren't the real versions of us. They're toys.”
Mello crosses his arms, unimpressed. “Okay, fair. But why is toy me a girl?”
“He's not. He's just wearing a dress.”
“And the voice?”
“That's just how Mello's voice sounds.”
Matt snorts at the doorway. “It does sound a little like you.”
“Excuse me? Whose side are you on exactly?” Mello retorts.
Swooning dramatically, Matt answers the question simply. “The side of love.”
Groaning, Mello sits himself down next to Near, ripping the dress off his doll. “First of all, if we're getting married I am not wearing that crappy dress.”
Near's gaze flickers over to where the fabric lands on the floor, but after that, he doesn't seem to give it any thought. “That's okay.”
“And where's the cake? There's no wedding if there's not at least a three-tier cake. God, Near you really are useless,” he states. “MATT!! Get your ass over here right now and make us a cake.”
Matt grabs a tub of playdough from the toy basket before approaching the dysfunctional couple. “I'm guessing I'm the chef now then?”
Near shrugs. “Best man chef?”
It'll do. As Matt works on the eight-tier chocolate fudge cake, as Mello has requested at minimum, he hears the continued words of advice Mello offers Near in concern of their joint partnership.
“The decorations are decent, so I won't get on you about that. But the kissing, oh my God the kissing…They aren't supposed to topple on top of each other in the way you showed it," he tells him. "Someone's not going to be able to breathe, and if they go at it for too long, that's manslaughter. Generally speaking, turning a wedding into a funeral is a poor idea.”
Near tilts his head at this new wave of information. “Perhaps Mello should teach me how to kiss then?” He begins. “The real him.”
Mello's face flushes red and within an instant, he hurls the carefully constructed church at the nearest wall, their wedding venue reduced to a scattered mess.
Matt ends up laughing so hard he falls on top of the cake before it even reaches the third tier.
Mello's as flustered as a bull, standing up in a hurry as he stomps out of the room. Near remains quiet, the cogs in his brain turning as he ponders whether he's done something wrong and that it's time to prepare the divorce papers.
Ribs aching, Matt doesn't understand why people bother with going outside, all the entertainment he'll ever need right in front of him.