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Published:
2025-12-05
Updated:
2025-12-22
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2,076
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6/?
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Get freaky lol

Summary:

Neptune is annoying Uranus lmao.

Notes:

DON'T LIKE DON'T READ DUDE

I don't think it like incest
I will write and translate other chapters and update teggs
I inspired of fanfic "Get silly" orphan account
English not my first language and my grammar is suck
That Neptune/Uran ship!
This humanized planets!
This is rofl

Chapter 1: My cousin!

Chapter Text

This is the most important thing, thing I should never forget. His rings such small, thin and cute Guillermo. He such a Uranus, I love it! It so gentle, like as if I was taken out of my body. I like him. Like a cousin. Like when sun was younger and we was closer...
He feel loneliness, I'm sorry for he feel loneliness. I should spends more time for him. Then he won't feel loneliness. If he happy then I am happy, right Guillermo?
Sometimes I want hug him, to be closer, to make him feel better.
Uranus is cute, when I see him I feel like when I saw my moons. They're so small and defenseless, I like when they happy or having fun.
Sometimes, I saw how Uranus drawing, it's so cool! His drawings is so beautiful. I feel warmer and tingly up of my body, when i think about him, probably because of the density of the atmosphere. And he a wonderful writer or poet, he was so careful about apologising for him moons. That's so cute Guillermo!

Chapter 2: Portrait

Summary:

Uranus anus tiranus and Nipupun, my noopokie.

Chapter Text

Uranus sat intently, bent over something, in him orbite.


— UUUUURAAAAAAAAANUUUUUUSSSS!!!!!


Uranus nearly spill paint in shock. His voice thick with irritation, he said.

— How many times, do I tell you not to come unannounced!?


I forgot about that, this is so embarrassed. That not first time, but I don't want to make feel Uranus angry or sad.


— I'm so sorry Uranus! I forgot about it! Oh, you drawing! What you are drawing?

Uranus, tensely hided the easel with his body. I wonder what he drawing. He usually don't hide his easel.


— Ugh, nothing special, just portrait.

— Portrait? Show! Show me! Why are you hide it?


— N-no, it's not finished! I've been said nothing special! Just don't bother me, Sit somewhere here.


— Why, you don't want to show meeee!!!!


— I... I just don't want to show it yet, it's daft.
Aw, his accent is so funny! Dæft! Hehe! What's it mean?


—Ohhhh! I understand, we all sometimes feel embarrasmend!


I moved back a little so as not to disturb him. I wondered who he was drawing. Perhaps his satellites? Himself? Saturn?

My curiosity don't know bounds. Uranus hand move with confidence, his fingers be long, thin, slightly pointed at the edges. They are soooo cuuute! In particularly pronounced bones, a callus on the right index finger, and the smell of hydrogen sulfide and paint.

His drawings are also cute, he create them so carefully. Interesting if he write anything else? I would so love to see it. Uranus is so creative! He's the most creative planet! And cutest planet ever!


But, why he don't want to talk to me? Am i doing something wrong? Is it because im forgetful? It's because I always go to him? Am I clingy? I suddenly felt ashamed and somehow hurt. I just

want to help hime, don't feel loneliness,like I do. Okay, it's Just thought! Maybe Uranus in bad mood or just tired, anything is possible!

Chapter 3: Guillermo!

Chapter Text

Думаю, иногда мне нужно оставить его в покое. И пообщаться с Гильермо!

Я приблизилась к поясу Койпера на своей орбите, чтобы найти Гильермо или кого-нибудь еще, с кем можно было бы поговорить о том, как мы проводим свою жизнь.

Хотя когда-то, в молодости, он казался мне интересным и незнакомым. Сейчас он тоже велик и велик, но я все равно чувствую себя странно. Какая горечь в груди.


— Я нашла тебя, Гильермо! Что ты здесь делаешь? О! Ты меня искал! Какой милый Гильермо!


О чем ты хочешь поговорить? Обо мне? Оооо! Какой милый Гильермо!

Ничего интересного, Тритон, он стал счастливее; похоже, он собирается развлекаться со своими друзьями и девушкой! Его остальные спутники очень этому рады. Галатея немного поддразнила его. Я помню одно воспоминание, которое хочу забыть… Но как же ты, Гильермо? Я сказала слово обо мне, а ты должен был сказать о себе!


Что значит… Ты не сказал о себе? Нет, я сказал о себе! О своих лунах! Ты хочешь слушать только обо мне? Хех, Гильермо! Эх, я… я не хочу говорить… о себе, об этом… Я прижал Гильермо к своей груди, чувствуя, как изнутри разгорается горечь, и холодная слезинка, похожая на
слезу гиппокампа. Я не хочу вспоминать об этом…

— Ничего страшного, Гильермо, ничего страшного!

Гильермо не смеялся, не успокаивался, он молчал.


— Почему ты молчишь?! Я тебя беспокою? Я тебя раздражаю?

— Гильермо!

— Ты меня обижаешь! Как... как... Уран?
Нет, дело не в этом, Гильермо, нет, Уран не плохой, я просто надоедливый и раздражающий. Мне так жаль Урана, как я могу думать, что он меня ненавидит? Или как я могу быть для него надоедливой?


— Прости, Гильермо! Пожалуйста! Я не хочу тебя обидеть! Я просто...

— Зевнул, прервав мои слова, — просто устала! Хочешь тоже поспать? Отлично, Гильермо! Я люблю тебя, мой друг!

Я обняла Гильермо, слегка повернулась, чтобы удобно устроиться, и заснула рядом с ним.

Chapter 4: Note 68, about Neptune (Uranus diary)

Chapter Text

I don't hate Neptune, but sometimes he's annoying and bothersome. It's not mean I want to hurt him or something like that, I just don't like when he bother me or spoil my paintings. Eh, what can I did? This drawing was bloody daft. Incorrectly placed, shadows where they shouldn't be, blurred colors. Oh, I think Neptune I would laugh at this so much that the sun itself would hear it. And again I would be idiot. I hope Neptune understand me.
What he doing in his orbite? I turned around from Neptune orbite, he was innocently slept, hugging the asteroid he calls "Guillermo". That's make me calm. It's great, he don't have worries, he always happy, sometimes, I envy this.
I feel envy when remember Saturn rings, Neptune happiness, attention from the sun at Mercury. Why nobody thinks im cool, nobody cares about me, nobody does respect me. Yeah, Nep said my moons respect me, but he can't understand. Eh, I understand why nobody likes me I'm cruel, sadistic, nasty Uranus.

Chapter 5: Note 69, Sleepy (Uranus diary)

Summary:

Neptune dolbaeb. That's joke.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Saturn... Pft, I feel noises just from name. But, he wanna be friend with me? He's lying?

Eh, I can't get rid of envy. Why anyone don't want to notice my rings, I have too them.

I think better to go around Nep, no one will go to his orbit and it will still be possible, to make a sketch of him sleeping.

I went to it, it was not far from the Kuiper belt, but so that the gravity of Neptune in orbit could close the space between the solar system and the Kuiper belt.

Huh, he really loves that asteroid. He became weird, after I descend from him. Why when someone sleep they are look innocent? Guillermo was gently pulled to the chest in a snow-white jacket. I noticed that the lower half of him chest looks fuller, than my or other planet chest. That unusual. Moved his hand through his hair, sorting through them and drawing the lines of the body. His face was all smeared with drool, apparently he really was sleeping soundly. I looked at the asteroid again: where does Neptune get its blue paint? I pulled it out of Neptune's hands a little to take a look. When Neptune wake up.

— Uranus... What are you doing here?

— EH, I? N NOTHING! N NOTHING!

I pulled my hand away from this asteroid. The silence was oppressive.

— You came to talk to Guillermo?

Neptune said this with sweetest smile and eyes filled with joy, It's this made me blush and my cheeks became hotter than they would have been if I had been next to the sun. I couldn't say no.

— Y Yeah, I wanted to talk with Guillermo!

— If anything, the three of us can talk if you don't mind.

Maybe this is a chance to speak to someone other than the diary.

— S sure! I want to talk with ya too mate! Neptune's face shine from joy.

— Yuuuuupppyyyy! Ready to start a conversation? I began to speak with a deep sigh. It was hard to say.

— I can't stop feeling jealous. Why does Saturn get noticed more than me? This is the first time I've been called a comet mate! I'm not good enough? Neptune's face didn't lose that smile. Is he really listening to me?

— Ohhhhh, don't worry Uranus! It's normal to feel this, and your rings also have their own distinctive feature! They're thin, little like my moon S/2021 N 1! By the way I will never see him.

— Oh, ya will can encourage me better. But, thanks.

I said it with sarcastic tone, while he was trying to measure it. I look like an idiot. This is probably the most best encourage from him. Neptune's face became somehow painfully sad, It irritates me a little. I returned to the sketch, now I have to draw from memory, well at least he is nearby and it will be easy to paint facial features.

— What you draw cousin? He came a little closer to me, putting his hand on my thigh and his head on my chest to see the work.

— You drawing me! Aw, cousin that's so cute! I love you!

Nep tightly hugg me, It was awkward, I felt his cool breath on me. He really loves when I draw, but him I drew first time.

— Okay, okay stop. he stopped hugging me while still being under my shoulder. This was attractively cute.

— Give me paper and pencil pls, I want to do it too!

— And, what you will paint?

— This surprise cousin!

— Yeah? Uh, okay! I tore out one of the empty sheets in the album, with speer pencil which I took, give him they're.

—Thanky, cousin!

He's enjoyed to move pencil. I think it's was easy childish painting. I returned to the sketch, thanks stars I'd managed to draw the construction.

Notes:

Saturn who was watching them: Вот это прикол!

Chapter 6: Lmao

Chapter Text

I finally finished this. How do you think my cousin would like it, Guillermo? I think yes! You think too, Guillermo! That's cool! But, I should get second another grade, to be encouraged.

 

Who can I ask? Maybe Saturn, Saturn orbite closely to Uranus orbite and I think it's will show Saturn want to be friend with him, I want show Uranus that Saturn don't hate him. Saturn Love when someone listen to him. By the way about Uranus, I'm so glad he came to talk with us.

 

It's a little pity, I sorry for I can't support Uranus. His sarcasm makes me feel strange, it's annoyance?

 


It's nothing, how I can annoyance to Uranus? I like him. No matter how much I try, I can't supported him. Honestly it's annoyance?

But I can't, I can't be annoyed to him. What happen if I tell someone about this, everyone will start to think that I wicked person? If I be angry, they isolate themselves from me, I don't want to Uranus more distanced from me. They would be never trusted to me, they would think like "No wonder, most distant planet, most freaky."

 


But I like him. I want to thank him, he's like me too, like when I sleep. I feel how core is warming and how my cheeks are burning, like I am melting.


I forgot it! I need to go!

— Hiiiiiiii Saturn!


Saturn looked at me with Saturn smile. I love it! He's treat me well!


— Oh! It's you my dear friend! Oh, you look mad?Someone offended you?

— Really?
— Yes, you look just like Uranus or Venus right now!

Who that Venus? That doesn't matter. I felt disgusted for my face, it's rude, I am rude. And for this, I can't be friend for anyone?

Because I am tactless, it has always been like this, it's was before, my orbite began to distance.


— Heeey... Neptune... Are you okay?

— Y - Yeah! I am okay Saturn!
— It's good, but you don't answer, someone offended you?
— N- Noo o, im fine! I'll wanna just show you my painting.


I pulled out it and show to Saturn.
— I drew it for Uranus! I want surprise him, you can grade it? Pleaseeeeee.


— Aww, you drew it for him! Let's see, oh, that are Uranus! How cute you draw him! I think Uranus cute too, specially when he's talking with you. You two look like adorable. I grade it 8/10, actually I am not an artist I don't know how to grade skill.


He's stroked my head, it was nice, I like it.


—Thank you Satuuu! I'll go to Uranus, byeee!


He's try to be kind and sweet to others, sometimes he selfish but he try. I like it.