Chapter Text
Somehow the JL actually noticed the fact that Shazam and Batman were closer, they didn't notice before but now they did, maybe it had something to do with the fact that occasionally Shazam would act like an actual child and Batman... well he wouldn't give it a second glance, but the second that Flash made a joke on a trend he had seen his nephew making Batman was all over him scolding him for not being professional.
Not to mention that before... whatever happened, every time Batman got hurt, Shazam was seen looking at him with worry from afar, now he... well he just doesn't care?, like it would make sense for it to be the other way around, but they're closer now, they all can agree on that... but he doesn't care when Batman get injured, even though they can tell that Batman is still treating Shazam the same way he would when Shazam got injured without any difference.
It was weird, and none of them could wrap their heads around it, but of course there was some near world ending event that had them starting to get even more confused, because why would Batman's life ever make sense to anyone but himself?
Lex Luthor had the amazing idea to team up with the fucking Joker of all beings, which meant that Superman and Batman were more or less in charge of it as it was 'their villains'. Obviously it was an unspoken thing that Batman had more say in what happened, but he always does, even when it doesn't involve 'his villains'.
"Batsy! Where's the little one gone?" Joke laughs, calling out to the man as he pulls out a crowbar, because of course he does, why wouldn't he carry one around everywhere he went after having traumatized the family with it? "If none of them are here yet can I ask for one of them to come over!?" He can never trust Joker, is he going to ask for Red Hood for the shits and giggles, or is he going to call Red Robin because he's 'the easiest' to 'defeat', or does he have a specialized plan for one of them? What if it's all a coupe and he's asking for the sake of making him paranoid and second guessing everything?
"We aren't in Gotham, this is out of their zone, none of them are coming." The JL was confused at the exchange, but making sure to push it back for the time being and taking note to ask him about it later in the debriefing.
"Come on! They're all so much fun to play with!" And before Batman has a chance to respond, he can hear Tim in his Bat-comms.
"B, Jay has suited up, Dick is arguing with Dames about coming too, expect anywhere between 1-4 people joining you." One to four... Jayson, Dick, Damian... fuck no, Tim hasn't gotten his requirement of sleep this week yet!
"No. You're not coming, the others can come, but you're staying where you are. You need more sleep." The JL was confused, Joker was intrigued, Batman and Tim were annoyed, Jason, Dick and Damian were excited and pumped. There was no way this wasn't going to be a bitch of a debriefing.
"Sup bitches!" Red Hood whistles, flipping off of his motorbike - obviously making sure to have it auto drive back to the cave before flipping. But he's done that same move almost nightly, it was smooth as fuck, there was no way the JL wasn't going to notice it, even if it isn't their main confusion. "Ew, Joker." He huffs, death bat-glaring the pale man.
"My favorite Batling!" Joker laughs, his smile somehow growing even more, didn't know that was possible... damn. "Where's the other Bat-lings? Or are you all I have to play with today?"
"Nightwing and Robin are coming over too, Robin is going to deal with the other guy yeah B?" The buff as fuck guy whistles, Batman simply huffing before returning a whistle of confirmation. "Yeah, Nightwing and I are you're only play mates today." He huffs, lunging forward before getting his legs swung at by a... a crowbar? Sure the man is a clown, but where the fuck did he pull that out from!? "Oh come on! A guy gets killed by a crowbar once and now it's your entire thing!"
"Red Hood, death related comments are to be said in Bat when in front of other heroes." Batman whistles, the mask on Red Hood covering an eye roll, but Batman knows he's rolling his eyes, but there's not too much he can do about that, so he lets the boy focus on the fact he just got tripped bu a crowbar.
"Sorry we're late B." Another man calls out, also flipping off his motorbike similarly to Red Hood, a younger boy also flipping off his own bike as the two of them make their way over to Batman. "What's the plan?"
"Nightwing you help your brother with Joker, Robin you're on Lex control, do whatever you need, just don't kill him. He's not our villain to kill." Batman semi-whistles, the two of them nodding before going to their designated places, Robin going and well... climbing onto Lex's warsuit... the kid is a literal demon!
"Batman, who are these people?" Wonder Woman asks, the JL focusing on the random goons that the pair of villains had hired. "And why is one of them biting Lex Luthor?"
"Get it Robin! Tear that shit apart!" Red Hood calls out, cheering on the boy, and somehow, the demon of a child, starts to bite down on the alien metals that would normally have human jaws shattering teeth falling out, face swelling and in imminence pain... and just, tears off the metal, bite by bite. "Destroy that bitches money!"
"Do not worry Ahki, father is still richer than the man, Grandfather too." Robin calls out, switching to tearing it off with his hands as he calls out to his brother, going back to using his teeth as it, well it just feeds into the demonic vibes a lot better.
"Batman, I understand we are in a mission right now, but these people are conversing, and I find it rude of you to no respond to me." Wonder Woman tries again, she really does hate it when she's ignored.
"These are the Gothamites that Batman works with from time to time. He's the oldest so he's kind of like a leader in a way, like a father figure." Shazam pitches in, he knows their his kids, but Batman had asked him to not tell anyone, and that must also mean to not let them know, the two of them had somehow gotten close enough he was able to recognize what he referred to as a Bat-smile, the closest thing to a smile the man would give. "Talk about it later, right now lets just deal with this."
"Father! Why did he respond for you?" Robin whistles through the metal that somehow made it more clear than it should've seeing as he had metal in his mouth. Must have something to do with the fact that the metal isn't Earthly metal meaning it's reaction is different... the boy is defying all logic so it's probably just that if they were going to be honest.
"He is the one I have talked about. He knows of our relation and he also knows that I don't want you to be put in harms was by anyone knowing of our relation." Batman calls back, Red Hood audibly grumbling about the fact that his father was still trying to keep it a secret.
"Be glad he's even telling anyone at all, he's starting to trust someone and that's improvement!" Nightwing calls to Red Hood in celebration, Batman was opening up to someone, someone that he didn't have to open up to. It was improvement to what the boys were used to seeing in their father, and improvement is improvement, everyone in the family knows to celebrate the small things.
"Save the chat for later, Joker doesn't like it when he can't understand us." Batman really had to jinx it, Joker just kicks Red Hood in a way that has his spine ripping through his skin, whats supposed to be a fatal blow before twisting Nightwing's head in a way that should also have been a one and done blow. Strutting over to Batman to scold him for talking about him right in front of him.
"Batsy! You know not so speak about me and that damned language! In front of me!" Joker laughs, face right up in Batman's, the smell of old greasepaint and rotting sugar, something like what carnival makeup that’s been left on too long would smell like, the scent radiating from his face, but it was Batman, he has gas masks built into his cowl 24/7, this was just a bonus in times like this, the scent wasn't going to affect him. "What were you saying Batsy!? Say it to my face!"
"I was telling them to stop talking in Bat in front of you." He was going to have a hard time explaining Bat to his co-workers later, but he really had no choice right now. "I know you don't like it, so I told them to stop."
"Ya know I don't mind it B!" Harley laughs, zooming into the scene in a convertible painted like a child's coloring book of a circus. "Talk all ya want, it's good for ya to express yourself and if talking your native tongue helps then do it!" There she goes with her phyco analysis on him again. He can't even argue with her because he knows deep down that she's always right when she does it, sure she may have a fucked up brain (literally), but that doesn't mean her analysis's are ever wrong.
"Harley. I thought you had girls night with Ivy." It was common knowledge that nobody disturbs the girls (Harley, Ivy and Cat Woman) on the weekends, while they can't always all go out together, there's usually at least 2 of them hanging out for the weekend. He could've sworn it was Harley and Ivy's turn this weekend, unless she skipped two weeks in a row.
"They ditched me B! It's even my B-Day coming up too! Maybe they're just planning my party or somthin' ya know?" She grins, cartwheeling over to Joker, mallet in hand. "But that just means I get more time with Mr J!"
"Cat Woman isn't out this weekend Harls." Red Hood pitches in, stumbling his way over to them, having only just had enough effort to will himself up. "Last I checked she was with Talia." Looking over to his brothers, both nodding in agreement at assuming so.
"WHAT!? Those fuckin' bitches! That lil' pussy cat! I'm gonna scratch her eyes out with her own claws! She lied to me!" Harley rants, swinging the mallet around dangerously in a fit or rage. "I can't believe this! I have phone calls I gotta make, see you's 'round!" And then she kind of just... leaves?
"Can we bring the attention back to this CHILD BITING MY SUIT APART!" Lex calls out, annoyed at having been ignored.