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Chapter Text

Alec had been head of the institute for five years and had been in love with Magnus Bane for 4 years, 10 months, 26 days and 7 hours. The two had met after Alec had sent out an invitation for the heads of the local downworld to join what he named the “Downworlder Cabinet’ in an attempt to foster positive relations with the shadowhunters and downworlders. Truthfully, he hadn’t expected anyone to show up, relationships have been frayed for years and with the Clave having taken so long to put a stop to Jonathon and Valentine he thought there would be much more resistance to the idea. The downworlders had every right to be wary of a shadowhunter, especially a lightwood. But this resistance had never come, Izzy thinks it’s because everyone was just sick of fighting, of losing people and of the thick tension between the whole shadowworld. Whatever it was, it was both a blessing and a curse to Alec, on the one hand it made his job much easier but on the other hand it led him to the man he loved more than anything else in the world and who would never love him back equally.

4 years 10 months 26 days and 7 hours earlier.

“Come in” Alec replied to the knock on the door.

“Hi, Magnus Bane here to speak to you about the downworlder cabinet Sir” Underhill spoke gently, he’d become a wonderful help over the past month, and Alec couldn’t be happier that he had decided to transfer to New York

“Bring him in” Alec put his paperwork away and stood up hoping to be able to make a good impression by giving him his full attention. That was until the man himself walked through the door. He was devastatingly handsome and was wearing an outfit that Alec presumed had been specifically chosen to say whilst he was friendly, he was ready to jump at the first sight of shadowhunter bullshit. His suit was a dark black shimmering slightly when it caught the sun with a mostly unbuttoned shirt that left Alec gawking rather embarrassingly. He coughed to compose himself staring resolutely at his face and refusing to give himself the pleasure of drinking in the appearance of the man stood before him. Whilst he may be out to the world, he was not yet confident enough to enjoy another man’s looks so blatantly.

“Nice to meet you Magnus, my name is Alexander Lightwood, but everyone just calls me Alec”

“My pleasure, I’d introduce myself, but you already know who I am and I’d prefer to call you Alexander. It’d be a shame to let such a beautiful name go to waste”

They talked for a while, Magnus was hesitant to trust in Alec’s vision for a future, it was one thing to believe a lone shadowhunter wanted to create peace but another thing to believe that all the shadowhunters in the institute were just as willing to fight for this change. But Alec was ever the pragmatist and had spent what felt like hours imagining every argument or discussion point that would be brought up. He would’ve been a force to be reckoned with, if only he’d managed to keep his head as soon as he’d seen the man. Instead, he stumbled about his words, gave gruff responses and spent a very long time trying to look at the painting behind Magnus’ head and not look down at his deliciously tempting chest. Thankfully Magnus took this all very gracefully and didn’t bother to comment on it, a fact Alec was all to grateful for.

“I’ll show you out” Alec commented kindly standing up to shake his hand.

“Thank you for your hospitality, I hope to see more solidarity between our races” Magnus responded his hand lingering on Alecs’ wrist. Alec looked up to catch his eye a blush spreading on his cheeks and, feeling exposed, he pulled his hand back into himself missing the other man’s warmth immediately. They walked to the entrance of the Institute amicably and Alec vowed to try and say goodbye normally and actually manage to hold five seconds of eye contact with the man as a good head should do.

“Thank you again for meeting with me, I know it can’t have been easy considering your history with shadowhunters” Alec said feeling proud of himself for managing to utter a full sentence confidently “and… considering your history with my family in particular” he added. He’d been unsure whether this would be the right move addressing the elephant in the room but looking at Magnus he felt the other man would appreciate the sentiment.

“That’s okay, I know better than most that we aren’t our parents” he replied in a friendly manner at the same time opening a portal almost lazily with his right hand and it took all of Alecs willpower not to stare and the wisps of magic that curled around his forearms. “Well, I’ll be off now. It was nice to meet you, Alec Lightwood”

And with that he hopped into his portal and disappeared, a faint shimmer in the sky being the only indicator the man had been there at all. Well, that and another man whose heart had constricted so tightly in his chest he first thought he was having some sort of cardiac arrest before realising that shadowhunters don’t have cardiac arrests. It took him an embarrassingly long amount of time to regain his composure and a fair while longer to realise that he’d just met his person. His immediate reaction was to go over to his house say Magnus Banes lovely name and then they could frolic off into the sunset happily together forever, his much more practical side of his brain told him he had mountains of paperwork to complete, patrols to organise and wayward siblings to keep in line. Plus, he would see Magnus in two days at the first official downworlder council meeting after which he would be able to invite Magnus into his office, offer the man a drink and in the perfect moment say his full name at which point Magnus would also realise they were soulmates and they could get to the frolicking and being together forever. Besides what was 2 days to a lifetime of happiness. Alec knew he had one opportunity to make this the perfect moment for Magnus and he wasn’t going to screw it up.

Chapter Text

The day had been filled with a type of nervous energy that Alec wasn’t used to, he’d found himself pacing around and checking the clock far an absurd amount. He’d given up on his reports half-way through the day unable to concentrate but couldn’t find anything distract himself and hours felt heavy. He knew Jace could feel his restlessness through their bond, and he could feel Jac pushing back, pressing to know more. But Alec hadn’t gotten round to telling his siblings about Magnus being his soulmate yet, he thought the man himself deserved to know before the two of them shoved their noses into the situation. In a futile attempt to blow off some steam and speed up time he went to Clarys’ room and forced the poor girl into a training session with him. His respect for the girl had grown immensely in the past two years. She wasn’t perfect by any means and they still regularly disagreed, but they’d formed a truce based on mutual respect, and the fact that Alec was the only one who never babied her in training.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re beating my girlfriend up or will I have to force the information out of you” Jace commented dryly after watching the two of them spar for a few minutes.

“I’m not beating her up; we’re sparring and it’s good for her. She’s less of a liability with every minute she spends on this mat” Alec responded glancing in Jace’s direction, a rookie mistake, as soon as he took his eyes off Clary the girl had flattened him to the floor with her staff.

“haahha! Gotcha!” Clary exclaimed grinning at Jace wildly, “not to gang up on you Alec but you have definitely been more aggressive today than usual, I’m not mad about it though, it means I’m getting a good workout”

“See even Clary is picking up on your freaky energy”

“fine” Alec muttered “I’m just nervous about the downworlder cabinet, it’s my first big move since becoming head and I don’t want to mess it up, Raziel knows the Clave are trying to catch me out already” It was a kind of half-truth which Alec found far easier than lying, his lies were always paired with embarrassingly red cheeks.

“You’ll be great Alec, the downworlders want this just as much as you” Clary said optimistically. Alec sighed in response; he looked towards Clary who was not so subtly inching closer to Jace and the exit. Clearly as much as she claimed to be enjoying the training, smooching with her soulmate was far higher on her priority list.

“Go on then, go, I’ll speak to you both later” He had about 2 hours left until the leaders showed up and he wanted to have time to shower, make himself presentable and set up his office in a subtly romantic way for Magnus.

Making himself look presentable seemed to be posing much more difficulty than he had initially thought; his hair was sticking up in an unruly way and refusing to cooperate with anything he did, his clothes were all looking far more faded and tatty than they had a week ago and his face was looking splotchy and red, most likely because of the nerves. There was about 20 minutes left until everyone got here and he hadn’t even made it to tidying up his office which was currently looking shoddier than the state he left it this morning. To make matters worse the earlier snail pace of the day had sped up exponentially and he was swiftly running out of time to do anything.

“Alec, are you ready to go… the downworlders will be arriving any minute now” Izzy mentioned from behind the door. No that couldn’t be right, he could’ve sworn he had another 20 minutes before, oh god no she was absolutely correct, the time had officially caught up to him and he was now looking to face Magnus his soulmate in a ratty outfit, with ugly hair and a splotchy face. Perfect. Nothing to do about it now. He took a steadying breath ‘we’re lightwoods and we hold our head up high’ his inner mantra which usually helped to calm his fraying nerves when meeting with Clave officials was not quite producing the same effect today.

“Yes, Izzy I’m ready” he said brushing past her and strolling towards the meeting room in an attempt to look casual. His heart was beating violently in his chest a mixture of nerves excitement and something akin to nausea. It was a peculiar feeling and one that Alec, who liked to remain firmly in his comfort zone, was astoundingly unfamiliar with. The doors opened and in walked Underhill blocking his view of the first arrival, he stepped aside and it wasn’t Magnus. His stomach did an impressive backflip; a mixture of relief and disappointment ran through him, but he schooled his face into a genial smile and extended his hand out. “Nice to see you again Raphael, Simon” The two men took his hand and exchanged a couple of pleasantries before the next guests walked in and Alec, who believed he had calmed down his wayward heart, felt his chest constrict again before he realised it was Luke along with Maia.

“Trust Magnus to be the one to come last, he’s always been a fan of a dramatic entrance” Raphael murmured to Simon once Meliorn had arrived. Waiting for Magnus was like torture, every second that trickled by built up his nerves. His hands had gone disgustingly clammy and he was trying his hardest to engage in conversation but couldn’t help but find his eyes wandering over to the doors.

“And that’s why I decided to make the move from type A blood to type O” Simon finished off his story, which to be perfectly honest, Alec had heard maybe three words of.

“yeah” Alec started his eyes snapping to the door catching a glimpse of the handle opening, “very” Alec trailed off, the door opened and in walked Magnus, looking every bit as gorgeous as Alec remembered “mesmerising’ Alec finished.

“Mesmerising? I thought it was more funny than mesmerising” Simon’s confusion apparent in his tone.

“Sorry, that’s what I meant, funny… ha” it was an unconvincing attempt at pretending he’d been listening, but Simon didn’t seem to notice, he’d already turned around to tell the story again to a more captivated audience.

Alec made his way over to Magnus, he’d planned something to say, something incredibly witty that would charm the pants off of him, something he was struggling to remember, something that came out of his mouth as a breathless “Hi, again”

“Hello to you to Alexander” and dear god if Alec didn’t love the way his named rolled off Magnus’s tongue. “How’ve you been? Hopefully protecting the poor mundanes from demons” Magnus quipped.

“I good, I mean I’ve been good, yeah demons, lots of them that I’ve killed, of course” Humiliating Alec thought, this is utterly humiliating. Never before in his life had he felt so let down by himself. In what world was he doing anything to charm the man stood before him. It only got worse when his brain decided to malfunction and not say anything more and just make him stare at the poor man like some sort of utter moron. Magnus thankfully saved him by announcing that they should probably start after which Alec somehow recovered himself and was able to run a fairly successful meeting. Once he was firmly back in his comfort zone, talking about strategy for fostering positive relationships between the individual species, he felt he could full relax. The downworlders were hesitant to jump too far into his suggestions but were all enthusiastically on board with the general theme of bringing the Clave into the 21st century and leaving shadowworld infighting behind. After wrapping up the leaders lingered for a little while, there was a bright air to the room as if everyone felt a weight lifted from their shoulders. He saw Magnus saying preparing to leave and swiftly said he’s goodbyes, catching him at the door.

“Hey Magnus, can I talk to you in my office before you leave?” Alec asked hesitantly.

“Of course, lead the way” Alec turned holding the door open for Magnus, his arm lightly grazing against the other mans.

“It’s just this way” his stomach felt fluttery again and his regained composure was starting to slip at thought of being alone with him. They reached his office quickly and Alec hovered at the door trying to regain his nerve.

“As much as I’m enjoying this hallway, and really I am, I’m sure whatever conversation you’d like to have is much better done inside of the office” Magnus joked, accompanying his statement with a warm smile. His comment forced Alec into action, and he walked in turning to make sure Magnus had followed him. As much as Alec had thought about how he was going to do this he suddenly found himself lost and was stood awkwardly in the centre of the room looking around for something to help him.

“Is something wrong?” Magnus asked nervously, looking around to try to decipher Alec’s skittish behaviour. He’d believed him about his will to unite the shadowworld but one could never be too careful when it came to the Nephilim and the erratic flitting of Alec’s eyes were starting to make him feel wary. You don’t get to his age being naïve and he hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in trusting the shadowhunter so soon.

“No, not wrong. I just, I wanted the opportunity to talk to you without everyone being around” Alec responded trying his best to give a reassuring smile “I’ve felt very isolated since becoming Head of the Institute, especially with being…” he shuffled nervously, still not quite comfortable in himself “with being gay and it feels nice knowing that I have someone to rely on now”

Magnus looked at him with surprise, the Nephilim kept to themselves and news of Alec coming out had not quite reached the downworld “I can’t imagine that being easy on you, coming out to the Clave” he said sympathetically, thanking Lilith he was right that this was one of the good ones “and you do have someone to rely on now, that goes for me and the rest of the downworld leaders. We want to help you. You’re a breath of fresh air in this place, they’re lucky to have you and mean that in reference to us downworlders as well” It was an earnest statement and Magnus felt himself taken aback by how much he was willing to jump at the aid of the shadowhunter before him.

Alec looked back, truly looking into his eyes for what might have been the first time today. “Thank you, the Clave are not understanding of anything different and so I feel like everyone’s just waiting for me to fail” Alec glanced back down, if he wasn’t sure this man was his soulmate before, he certainly knew now with the way Magnus had reassured him. It’s now or never he thought, say his full name let him know you’re his. “It’s nice to know I have an ally in Magnus Bane” Alec took a deep breath and looked up with a grin on his face, ready to catch the swirl of emotions he’d felt those days ago mirrored in Magnus’s face, except, nothing. He knew Magnus was a centuries old warlock and probably very good at keeping a mask of calm, but he’d expected some reaction, at least a glimmer of recognition in his eyes, he didn’t expect the man to just look back as if nothing was happening. There was no way he was currently feeling the same feeling that had brought Alec to his knees at the institute doors just days ago. Alec would be able to tell.

“Of course, you can always count on me” Magnus replied unaware of the inner turmoil going on across the room. Maybe he’d said it wrong. Maybe Magnus hadn’t heard it.

He took a few steps closer and held his hand out ready to try again “Well, that’s everything, thanks again Magnus Bane” He was closer now, could analyse his face better, but again nothing. No reaction. His heart sunk to the floor.

“Anytime, Alexander Lightwood, I’ll see you soon” and the jolt of electricity than ran up his spine at hearing his name again felt like a cruel joke. “I can see myself out, no need to take up any more of your time” Magnus went to leave and Alec waved his hand to say goodbye. As soon as the door had shut he crumpled his mind numb. Magnus didn’t feel it. Magnus was his soulmate, the person most suited to him in the world, but he wasn’t Magnus’s.

Chapter Text

It had been a couple of months since Alec’s failed attempt in his office and his relationship with Magnus had developed into being ally’s but not quite friends. This was mostly due to Alecs internal battle of wanting to get to know everything there was to know about Magnus, whilst also keeping his distance in a futile attempt to protect himself. The other man was a hopeless flirt, and Alec was unable to stop his hearts wild fluttering when Magnus’ flirtations were aimed at him. Alec had spent the first month researching everything there was to know about soulmates to see what could be done to fix his situation. Which as it turns out was nothing. He was part of an unlucky few.

“Some sort of rogue warlock, summoning demons for money maybe?” Jace said to the group, there had been a collection of unusual demons popping up around New York and this summoning pentagram on the floor of a disused warehouse was the first piece of concrete evidence that could lead them anywhere.

“We should call Magnus” Izzy replied, a smirk growing on her face, “I’m sure he’d be happy to help, especially with Alec here” Magnus’ incessant flirting might have been missed most shadowhunters but not by Izzy.

“I’m sure he’s busy right now. I’ll give him a call later, see when he can come”

“Don’t be stupid Alec, the longer we take to track this guy the harder it will be to reach him.” Izzy huffed and pulled out her phone to send Magnus a text. This was swiftly followed by a portal opening and the man himself stepping out. “See he’s not busy”

“Raziel, here we go again” Jace muttered under his breath, he had not warmed to the other man at all.

“I hear you have a problem that only Magnus Bane can fix, which appears to be true of all your problems” he said with grandeur approaching the group.

“Not you specifically, we needed a warlock and you just happened to be the closest”

“Ah well in that case I’ll just leave you to it. Always a pleasure to see you Jackson, I hope another warlock comes along swiftly” Magnus replied turning around to step back into his portal.

“Magnus wait, Jace doesn’t mean that.” Alec shot Jace a glare “We need you; please can you help?”

“Only because you asked so nicely Alexander” the warlock said with a wink, and Raziel help him there went the shivers down Alec’s spine “let’s see what we’re working with” Within minutes Magnus had figured out which warlock was responsible and tracked them to the nearest block. Which shouldn’t be sexy, but Alec was a sucker for Magnus and apparently also a sucker for a guy who knows what they’re doing.

“We better alert the institute about where we’re going and get the guy” Jace said reapplying his runes.

“I’d rather deal with this myself, through the spiral council. He’s one of us and he should be held to our laws not those of the Nephilim” Magnus said.

“He involved us as soon as he summoned demons, thanks for tracking him but he’s our jurisdiction now” Jace argued back.

“With all due respect, and with that, I mean none. I will not be handing one of my kind over to the Nephilim so he can be tortured to death in Idris under the guise of following the law”

“You don’t have a choice, he’s ours now.” Jace looked towards Alec asking for help.

“Magnus is right”

“What??”

“The downworlder cabinet is about working together and that means respecting their procedures as well as our own. The Spiral Council will make sure justice is served accordingly.” He gave Jace a look, daring him to argue back “Thank you very much for your help, Magnus”

“Much obliged, I knew there was a reason you were my favourite. I’ll be leaving now before he moves again, till next time Alexander, Isabel, John” The portal swirled and closed behind him.

“I know he knows my name”

“Oh, shush Jace, your fragile ego is showing” Izzy replied with a giggle.

4 hours and one demon fight later found Alec sat in his office writing up his reports when he received a knock on his door.

“Come in”

“It’s Magnus Bane to see you sir.”

“Good evening” The man had popped his head around the door.

“Are you okay? Did everything go alright with the warlock?” Alec scanned his body for injuries.

“Do I hear a hint of concern in your voice Alexander? I didn’t know you cared so much” Magnus answered teasingly.

“Of course I care. You’re important to me, or us… I mean the shadow world”

“Well, I can’t argue with you there. Where would you shadowhunters be without me? Probably still stood in that dingy warehouse.” He gave Alec a mischievous grin “But to answer your earlier questions, I am fantastic and it all went swimmingly. The warlock is facing trial in the Spiral Labyrinth, and now I am in desperate need of some company. Care to join me for a drink?” Magnus asked

“I would love to, but I’ve got lots to do. Reports won’t write themselves” And my heart can’t take being on a sad imitation of a date with you, but Magnus didn’t need to know that part.

“Oh please, I’ve asked you about a thousand times now. Are you sure you can’t spare one evening for your friendly neighbourhood warlock? It would be amazing for, how did you phrase it, Downworlder shadowhunter interpersonal relations.” It was said with a touch of theatrics and Alec was suddenly very unaware of all the reasons he should say no, the first being his poor heart.

“Erm, yeah okay then. I guess I can join you for just the one”

“Perfect I know the best place”

The Jade Wolf was a place Alec was only familiar with through stories from his siblings and his first impressions were that it was surprisingly quant. Magnus had portalled them in an alley nearby and sauntered on in, giving cheery smiles to acquaintances and Alec was struck with how well-loved Magnus was in the downworld. Alec himself was not even so well loved in his own institute, respected? Yes. Loved? He wasn’t so sure.

“First round is on me, what’s your poison??”

“Oh, I don’t know what they have here”

“Well Maia makes a mean martini, but you seem more like a beer guy”

“Yeah, a beer is good, I’ll have a whatever’s on tap.” Truth be told Alec had never actually drunk a beer, but he was not about to admit that in front of the warlock who appeared to have tried everything known to man.

“Amazing, I’ll be 5 minutes. Promise me you won’t run away to file reports when my back is turned” Magnus teased as he sauntered off.

Alec was embarrassed to admit that his immediate thought as Magnus left was ‘how can I leave this situation as fast and as easily as possible’ but when Magnus returned with their drinks and a dazzling smile all thoughts were forgotten.

“So, tell me what you young shadowhunters get up to for fun” Magnus said placing Alec’s beer in front of him.

“Not much, I train. Mostly”

“Training is hardly fun, that’s your job”

“Well, my siblings go out and sometimes I join them”

“Oh yeah, you have crazy nights out in the bars” Magnus said imploringly.

“Not me, I’m more of a supervisor”

“Such a shame, you should let loose some time. Being the head of the institute so young must be stressful, you’re going to burn yourself out if you’re not careful”

“Yeah, my sister always says I need to find something that destresses me … or someone” Alec looked up surprised to see Magnus watching him intently.

“Not many gay shadowhunters?”

“The Clave doesn’t publicly disapprove of being gay, but it doesn’t encourage it either. But if I’m being honest, I’ve always been a bit of a romantic. I never wanted to date if it wasn’t my soulmate.”

“Ahhh waiting for the extra special someone then. I commend you Alexander, not many people have the patience for it. I know I didn’t but I’m also centuries old so your patience wears thin eventually.”

“Did you ever meet them? Your soulmate” Alec hates that he asked the question, but he has to know.

“No, not yet. Probably not ever” Magnus replies, a sad shadow crosses over his face “But that’s fine as well of course. Just because someone’s not my soulmate doesn’t mean I can’t love them.” A silence comes over them and Magnus looks at him ponderingly. “I have to admit I had ulterior motives about inviting you for a drink.”

“Oh really?”

“I find you attractive Alexander. Very attractive and incredibly kind and brave and, well, I was hoping it could be a date, maybe. But I understand you just said about the whole soulmate thing and that’s fine too. But if you ever change your mind, I would be more than happy to date you” Magnus said self-consciously and he began to regret his boldness the longer Alecs silence continued. After a few minutes Magnus felt he had to speak “Sorry, that was inappropriate. Just forget I ever said anything.”

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just that I wasn’t expecting that” Alec chuckled nervously. “I find you attractive too, I just, I don’t know what to do” Alec was saved by his phone “it’s the institute, I have to get back. Thank you for the drink and for the chat. I’ll think about what you said, I promise” He left the bar glancing back to give Magnus a smile.