Archive of Our Own ^beta

Isagi, Hiori, Kurona and Yukimiya were chit chatting in the dorm room. Then, Yukimiya suddenly stood up.

“Guys… I have a secret to tell,” he said quietly.

The room fell silent. All three of them looked at him with curiosity.

“I suffer from… optic neuropathy,” Yukimiya admitted with his trembling voice.

“Yukki, I don’t think you're gonna play the next match with us,” Isagi placed his hand on Yukimiya’s shoulder.

“What do you mean, Isagi?” Yukimiya’s eyes widened.

“Isagi’s right,” Hiori added. “It’s too dangerous to play with us if you have an eye condition.”

“What if you get blind? Blind, blind.” Kurona said bluntly.

Yukimiya stepped back. “Are you guys… trying to underestimate me?”

Before anyone could answer, Ego’s voice boomed from the giant screen.

“LOCKED OFF. Yukimiya Kenyu.”

Yukimiya’s body froze. 

“No… no, this can’t be happening!” he cried as tears streamed down his face.

---

Yukimiya quickly woke up with a gasp.

He sat up immediately, hand pressed against his chest, breathing heavily. Sweat clung to his skin as he looked around the dim dorm room.

Isagi, Hiori and Kurona were still asleep.

Yukimiya swallowed hard and whispered to himself. “…It was just a dream. A bad dream.”

---

At the cafeteria,

Yukimiya sat with Isagi, Hiori and Kurona but his mind was still trapped in the nightmare from last night. He did not touch his food and he kept staring at nothing.

“Yukki, you’re not talking,” Kurona pointed out while tilting his head. “Did something happen?”

“Yeah,” Hiori added. “You always spill all the gossip.”

Yukimiya forced a small laugh and scratched his head. “Just… tired from yesterday’s match, you know.”

Isagi frowned. “Huh? Yesterday’s match was short.”

Yukimiya blinked rapidly. “I mean I ran a lot on the field. So just resting my voice. If you talk a lot, you’ll get more tired, right?”

Isagi, Hiori and Kurona all burst into laughter.

“You’re so funny, Yukki,” Hiori chuckled.

“Interesting fact,” Kurona nodded.

Isagi smirked and nudged his shoulder. “Can you tell us more about how being quiet stops you from getting tired?”

Yukimiya laughed along with them. “Let’s just say… you learn that from Science class.”

Inside Yukimiya’s heart was still tight. He didn’t want them to know his truth.

---

In the following training and matches, Yukimiya was unable to concentrate where he kept missing his goal and his teammates were always ahead of him.

He would give excuses if his teammates asked him a question.

---

In the dorm room, Isagi, Kurona, Yukimiya and Hiori were sitting on the floor playing cards. Kurona won again. Isagi immediately jumped to his feet and chased after him.

“Come back here, you shaky boy!” Isagi yelled as Kurona slipped past him.

Hiori laughed as he gathered the remaining cards. “Seriously, you two are so annoying.”

Yukimiya stayed quiet.

Hiori turned toward him. “Hey, is everything okay?”

Yukimiya hesitated for a moment before forcing a smile. “Everything is fine.”

“You sure?” Hiori asked. “You sure? What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing much. Just tired from yesterday’s match,” Yukimiya lied.

“I see. You gotta rest more,” Hiori said.

“I will, Hiori.” Yukimiya gave a fake smile.

Isagi joined in. “Umm, Yukki, I don’t think you’re resting enough. Just like Hiori said, rest more, okay? Also, I realised you’re not acting normal.”

“I am resting more, Isagi. Maybe you need to rest more,” Yukimiya reminded.

“Are you sure? You’re–” Isagi was about to continue but Yukimiya cut him off.

“I’m gonna go out and take a walk.” Yukimiya stood up and walked to the door.

“WAIT! I can come with you!” Isagi stood up.

“Isagi, stay there. I need alone time. I’ll come back as soon as possible.” Yukimiya gave a weak smile and placed his hand on Isagi’s cheek before leaving the room.

“Yukki–” Isagi moved to go after him.

“Isagi, let him have alone time.” Hiori grabbed Isagi’s shoulder.

“Something is wrong with Yukki… We gotta help him…” Isagi knelt down on the ground.

Kurona ruffled Isagi’s hair. “Don’t worry. He’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

“Sometimes we need to give space for people instead of forcing them to say something that they're uncomfortable with.” Hiori reminded. 

---

Inside the empty bathroom,

Yukimiya looked at himself in the mirror and started crying. Tears streamed down his face as he clutched his chest.

“I can’t tell the truth to my teammates,” he whispered. “If I do, they’ll hate me. I’ll get locked off for telling the truth. Everyone’s going to worry about me.”

He punched the wall as more tears fell.

“How dare I have this stupid eye disease in the first place… I don’t deserve to be here.”

---

The next day, after training, Yukimiya stayed behind and continued practising. Hiori, Kurona, and Isagi watched him from the side.

“Something isn’t right with Yukki,” Isagi muttered.

“He’s been acting strange since yesterday,” Hiori added.

“He’s not himself. Not himself,” Kurona agreed.

“You know what? I need some alone time with him,” Isagi said. “You guys can go first.”

“Sure…and good luck dealing with Yukki,” Hiori nodded.

“I’m counting on you!” Kurona cheered.

Hiori and Kurona walked out of the training hall, leaving Isagi alone with Yukimiya.

Isagi approached him. Yukimiya was sweating heavily while breathing quickly.

“Hey, Yukki. Training’s already over. You need to rest,” Isagi said gently.

“I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me,” Yukimiya reassured weakly.

“You’re okay? No, you’re not!” Isagi hissed. “Look at you. You look like you’re going to collapse! I’m already worried about you!”

“ISAGI, SHUT UP!” Yukimiya snapped.

Isagi froze in shock. Yukimiya’s eyes widened. He hadn’t meant to shout.

“S–sorry, Isagi… I didn’t mean to-” Yukimiya scratched his head.

“It’s okay,” Isagi replied softly. “I just want to make sure you’re doing okay.”

Yukimiya’s tears began forming but he tried desperately to hold them back. He couldn’t believe he had yelled at his boyfriend… and he still felt guilty for not carrying his team in the last match.

“Yukimiya… are you crying?” Isagi asked quietly.

“NO! I’m okay, Isagi,” Yukimiya denied.

“But I can see it,” Isagi whispered.

“Isagi, don’t you dare daydream,” Yukimiya cupped Isagi’s cheek. “It’s good that you care about your boyfriend… but you need to give your boyfriend alone time.”

“Huh? You’re giving me advice when you can’t handle things on your own?” Isagi frowned. “I know you’re hiding something from me.”

“Are you… hating me?” Yukimiya glared with voice trembling.

“No. I’m being honest,” Isagi said as he met Yukimiya’s gaze.

Yukimiya turned away. “Isagi, leave me alone.”

Isagi ran after him and wrapped his arms around Yukimiya’s waist from behind.

“No,” Isagi whispered firmly. “I’m not letting you overtrain like an idiot. I’d worry even more if you suffered in silence. I’m trying my best to understand you and to help you. I don’t ever want to see you locked off from Blue Lock. You have to promise me you won’t hide something big from me. I’ll always be here for you.”

Yukimiya trembled as he tried to hold his tears back.

Isagi leaned in and gently kissed the side of Yukimiya’s neck. Yukimiya’s face flushed red.

Isagi slowly tilted Yukimiya’s chin up, guiding his face toward him.

“Yukki… look at me,” he whispered.

Yukimiya clenched his jaw, trying to keep his expression still.

“I told you… I’m fine,” he mumbled though his voice was already breaking.

“No, you’re not,” Isagi said softly. “And you don’t have to pretend with me.”

Yukimiya’s eyes darted away but Isagi leaned forward, pressing a slow and lingering kiss to Yukimiya’s neck. Yukimiya’s breath caught. He hated how easily Isagi could break down the walls he’d spent years building.

“Isagi… stop…” Yukimiya whispered. It sounded almost like a plea.

“I’m not stopping,” Isagi murmured, brushing his lips once more against Yukimiya’s skin. “Not when you’re hurting like this.”

Yukimiya shut his eyes. His hands curled into fists. His throat tightened so painfully he could barely swallow. He’d held it together all day. All night. Through training. Through the ache in his chest.

He stepped forward and walked out of Isagi’s hold.

“Yukki?” Isagi whispered.

Yukimiya quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, forcing his expression to go blank. He didn’t look at Isagi who he didn’t trust himself to.

“I… I need some air,” he said while forcing a smile. “I’ll be right back.”

He walked to the nearest bench and sat down as his tears successfully hidden.

At least,  he hoped they were.

Isagi walked over to Yukimiya and sat beside him.

“Isagi, what are you doing here?” Yukimiya startled as he took off his goggles.

“I told you. I’m not ditching you here,” Isagi replied quietly.

Yukimiya turned his face away, staring down at his trembling hands. “I said I’m fine.”

“And I said you’re not,” Isagi answered.

Yukimiya let out a shaky breath. “Why do you care so much…? I yelled at you. I pushed you away. I’m acting pathetic.”

Isagi leaned forward slightly with his eyes soft. “Because you’re important to me. And because you’re hurting.”

Yukimiya swallowed hard. “I’m not-”

His voice cracked. He immediately covered his mouth, feeling embarrassed.

Isagi didn’t tease him or point it out. “It’s okay. It’s just you and me.”

Yukimiya spoke with unease. “Isagi… I have something to tell you.”

“You don’t have to force yourself,” Isagi said gently.

“Huh? I thought you said I’m not supposed to keep something big from you,” Yukimiya was confused.

“Yeah… about that…” Isagi sighed softly. “Forcing someone to spill the truth when they’re uncomfortable feels wrong.” He remembered Hiori’s words.

“But I am comfortable telling you,” Yukimiya insisted.

“No, you’re not. Your face tells me everything.” Isagi stood up. “So… I should respect your boundaries and leave you alone.”

Isagi turned and began walking away. Yukimiya’s tears slowly fell and sobs quietly.

—

Late at night, in the dorm room, everyone was asleep except Yukimiya.
He lay on his bed. He stared into the darkness as he quietly replayed on what happened with Isagi earlier.

He turned his head and looked at Isagi who was asleep on the bed beside him.
Wanting to show Isagi that he was comfortable talking to him, Yukimiya got up and walked over.

He reached Isagi’s bed and gently shook his shoulder.

“Isagi… wake up…” Yukimiya whispered.

Isagi stirred, his eyes slowly opening as he squinted in confusion. “…Yukki? It’s not even morning yet.”

Yukimiya kept his voice soft. “I know but can I talk to you privately?”

Isagi rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly. “Okay…We can. Just… sit down here,” he patted the spot beside him on the bed.

Yukimiya sat beside Isagi. He kept his gaze lowered and fingers fidgeting in his lap.

Isagi glanced at him with a gentle voice. “You don’t have to force yourself to say anything, Yukki. Just… talk when you’re ready.”

Yukimiya took a deep breath, then whispered, “I… I didn’t mean to shout at you earlier. I… I just…”

Isagi reached over and placed his hand on Yukimiya’s back, rubbing slowly in comforting circles. “It’s okay. I’m not upset. I just want to know if you’re okay.”

Yukimiya’s shoulders trembled slightly as he leaned a little into Isagi’s touch.

“I… I don’t want you to worry about me,” he murmured.

Isagi leaned closer, resting lightly on his shoulder. “Yukki… it’s okay to let me worry. That’s what I’m here for.”

The dorm was silent except for their quiet breaths.

“I… I noticed something,” Yukimiya whispered, glancing sideways at Isagi. “Hiori and Kurona… they’re really comfortable with each other.”

Isagi tilted his head. “Huh, what do you mean?”

Yukimiya’s fingers fidgeted.“They… they talk openly, laugh, argue… but they trust each other. I’ve never seen them hold back like that. I… I wish I could be like that too…with someone I care about.”

Isagi’s hand moved to gently squeeze Yukimiya’s shoulder. “You can, Yukki. You just need someone who’ll understand you.”

Yukimiya nodded faintly.

“And… Hiori…” Yukimiya continued quietly, “he told Kurona something about him hating his parents… I think it’s a truth he’s been holding back.”

Isagi blinked, leaning closer. “Lemme guess. Kurona accepted him?”

Yukimiya  gave a small smile.“Yeah…  Hiori seemed relieved after telling Kurona the truth. It made me think… Maybe sharing the truth to someone you trust isn’t as scary as it seems. Maybe I could… maybe I could tell you someday too.”

Isagi’s eyes softened and he brushed a strand of hair from Yukimiya’s face. “Yukki… you don’t have to tell me everything right now. Trusting me enough to sit here and talk… that’s enough.”

Yukimiya let out a shaky breath, putting his head on Isagi’s. “Okay… I’ll try.”

Yukimiya took a deep breath. “Isagi… there’s something I haven’t told anyone… not even Hiori or Kurona.”

Isagi’s eyes softened. “You can tell me, Yukki. I’m listening.”

Yukimiya’s hands shook as he spoke, tears welling up in his eyes. “I… I have an eye disease… Optic Neuropathy. That’s why I’ve been hiding how I really feel… I didn’t want anyone to worry and I didn’t want to be locked off…”

The tears spilled down his cheeks before he could stop them.

Isagi immediately wrapped his arms around Yukimiya, holding him close. “Shh… it’s okay, Yukki. It’s okay to cry.”

Yukimiya sniffled, trying to wipe his tears with the back of his hand.

Isagi shook his head gently and brushed the tears away. 

“You don’t have to hide it. It’s okay to cry… even if you’re older than me,” he said softly with a small smile on his lips.

Yukimiya buried his face into Isagi’s chest as the tears slid down his cheeks.

Isagi wrapped his arms around him. He rubbed slow and steady circles on Yukimiya’s back.

“It’s okay, Yukki… let it out. You don’t have to hold everything in,” he said softly.

Yukimiya sniffled and shifted slightly, letting his forehead rest against Isagi’s shoulder.

“I… I’m sorry for hiding it… for yelling… for pushing you away,” he murmured with his voice cracking.

Isagi pressed a hand lightly on Yukimiya’s shoulder. “Don’t apologise, Yukki. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want you to be honest with me… that’s all I want.”

Yukimiya wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I… I just didn’t want anyone to worry… I didn’t want to be useless.”

“You’re never useless,” Isagi said gently. “You’re important to me. I’m not going anywhere, Yukki. No matter what.”

Isagi rubbed his back a little more, humming softly under his breath, giving him space to just breathe.

Yukimiya let out a quiet laugh between sniffles, “Even though I’m being pathetic…”

“You’re not pathetic,” Isagi replied immediately. “You’re just… human. And humans cry sometimes.”

Yukimiya exhaled slowly, finally letting some of the tension leave his shoulders.

After that, Yukimiya slowly pulled back slightly, taking a shaky breath. Isagi remained calm and let Yukimiya go.

“Do you… wanna rest?” Isagi asked softly.

Yukimiya nodded quietly. “Yeah…”

Isagi lay back on his bed. Yukimiya lay beside him.

Yukimiya reached out and held Isagi’s hand, their fingers intertwining. They stared at each other for a long moment.

Yukimiya’s voice was barely a whisper. “Thank you for being here.”

Isagi smiled softly. “No problem, Yukki.”

Slowly, Yukimiya leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to Isagi’s lips. He hugged Isagi tightly, resting his head against his shoulder as they stayed close on the bed.

He looked down at Yukimiya. Then, his cheeks heat up.

Isagi’s breath caught and a faint blush spread across his face.

“Y-Yukki…” he murmured, his voice slightly flustered.

Yukimiya lifted his head slightly with a teasing smile on his lips. “What? Are you embarrassed?”

Isagi turned his face slightly away.

“I… I’m not… it’s just… you’re… close,” he stammered, trying to sound casual but failed.

Yukimiya giggled softly, leaning back against Isagi’s chest.

“Don’t worry… I like it when you’re like this,” he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of Isagi’s neck.

Isagi’s blush deepened even more, his heart pounding in his chest.He tightened his hold on Yukimiya’s hand, trying to act calm.

His arms wrapped loosely around Isagi’s waist.

Isagi’s other hand moved to rest on Yukimiya’s back, rubbing gently with slow circles. His heart raced at how warm and soft Yukimiya felt pressed against him.

“Yukki… you’re really close,” Isagi murmured, still flustered but softer now, letting a small sigh escape.

Yukimiya nuzzled against his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Isagi’s neck again.
“I like being close to you… Isagi,” he whispered.

Isagi’s breath caught again, his fingers tightening slightly around Yukimiya’s hand.

“You… you make me feel… weird,” he admitted with a deep crimson red on his cheeks.

Yukimiya giggled softly, and let his forehead rest against Isagi’s.

“That’s good…  because I like it too,” he murmured.

The dorm room was quiet, the moonlight spilling softly across the bed.
Yukimiya shifted again, draping one leg lightly over Isagi’s, pressing his body against him as he hugged Isagi around the waist.

Isagi continues to rub soothing circles on Yukimiya’s back, making him feel cmfortable. “See, we’re doing okay,” he murmured. “You can always lean on me anytime you want.”

Yukimiya’s fingers intertwined more firmly with Isagi’s.

“Of course,” Yukimiya whispered. “I feel comfortable… with you.”

Isagi pressed a soft kiss to Yukimiya’s forehead,“Sleep well… I’ll stay right here.”

Yukimiya let out a quiet sigh, snuggling closer as both of them finally relaxed. Both of them drifted to sleep.

---

The morning sun streamed through the dorm window. Isagi opened his eyes to see Yukimiya standing beside the bed, looking down at him with a small and sleepy smile.

“Good morning… Did you sleep well?” Yukimiya asked softly.

Isagi blinked a few times, suddenly realising how late he had slept. His hair was messy and his face was still slightly flushed from the night before.

Hiori, Kurona and Yukimiya couldn’t stop teasing him.

“Wow… Isagi, sleeping late, huh? You’re really slacking!” Hiori laughed.

Kurona pointed at him. “Yeah, look at you. Even your hair is like a bird’s nest!”

Yukimiya giggled quietly while his cheeks tinged pink. “You look so cute when you’re all sleepy like this, Isagi.”

Isagi blushed hard. “S-Shut up… it’s not like I slept late on purpose!”

Hiori crossed his arms while smirking. “Sure, sure. Something must have happened last night.”

Kurona added teasingly, “I think Yukimiya enjoyed having you all to himself last night.”

Isagi’s blush spread even more and he looked away, “You guys are impossible…”

Yukimiya stepped closer, lightly nudging Isagi with his shoulder. “Don’t be embarrassed… I had a good sleep too, thanks to you.”

Isagi’s heart skipped a beat as his face turned red. “YUKKI!”

Hiori and Kurona exchanged amused looks, clearly enjoying watching Isagi squirm under Yukimiya’s playful attention.

Later, Isagi excused himself and headed toward the bathroom to freshen up.

Yukimiya slumped slightly on the bed, still feeling the weight of last night’s emotions. Hiori sat beside him and gently placed a hand on Yukimiya’s shoulder.

“Yukki… thanks for letting us know about your eyes,” Hiori said softly. “We understand that and you don’t have to hide anything from us.”

Kurona moved closer too and wrapped Yukimiya in a warm hug.

“Yeah, we're like a family. We’ll support you no matter what,” Kurona whispered.

“Awh, that’s so sweet of you too.” Yukimiya pats on both Hiori and Kurona’s head. They all gave a group hug.

Later, Isagi returned from the bathroom. Without a word, he smiled and joined the hug. He wrapped his arms around Yukimiya from the other side.

Yukimiya’s eyes widened for a moment when he saw Isagi who winked at him. Yukimiya gave a soft smile at Isagi.