Work Text:
Pennyboo: Yo, dude 💛 How are you doing today?
Colinisthegreatestmanalive: I’m good, I’m good. Better than yesterday! I think I needed this nervous breakdown. I’m relieved we’re officially done ✨
Pennyboo: I’m glad! I know Marina’s my cousin but I’m on your side on this one. Cheating sucks. You did not deserve that. If you need cheering up, call me? I’ll always be there for you! 🫂
Colinisthegreatestmanalive: Is that why you changed my name to Colinisthegreatestmanalive 😭😭😭? It’s a bit much ahah
Pennyboo liked a message
Colinisthegreatestmanalive: But, also, thank you. You’re one of my best friends ever.
Pennyboo changed Colinisthegreatestmanalive’s nickname to Coolkidcol
Pennyboo: Better?
Coolkidcol: Better! Change of topics, but… Eloise told me you’re in Paris??? Since when?
Pennyboo: Since yesterday, actually! I’m just staying at Gen’s to finish my novel. I’m signed!!! I received an advance! 🎉🎉🎉
Coolkidcol: *SENDS GIF OF CAT DANCING* WOW! Congrats??? I’m so happy for you! When did it happen?
Pennyboo: It happened a week ago!
Coolkidcol: 😑😑😑. Why did you keep it from me??????
Pennyboo: You’d just had your heart broken, dude. I couldn’t just drop in here with my very happy news???
Coolkidcol: You can ALWAYS text me your happy news! Unless your good news is that you’ve finally killed Cressida Cowper… I don’t want you to end up in prison because of a stupid internet evidence. Also, since I’d have killed her with you…
Pennyboo: Colin. Be serious. You can’t wish harm on Cressida like that!
Coolkidcol: but… but she’s a meanie 😌
Pennyboo: Sure she’s a meanie but no meanie deserves to die. We’re pacifists here 🌞
Coolkidcol: 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Well, sure, ok… Let’s backtrack from talking about killing people. If my personal FBI guy (or girl I’m not sexist) is watching, I was KIDDING
Pennyboo: You’re really something. But I’m happy you’re feeling better.
Coolkidcol: I’m still sad but jokes make it better. My self-esteem took a hit but… WE PERSEVERE 🫵🫵🫵
Pennyboo: How so? It’s not your fault this happened? Marina is just… flighty.
Coolkidcol: But If I was sexier or funnier or kinder, maybe she wouldn’t not have cheated on me and we’d still be together?
Pennyboo: *SEND A GIFT OF A SLAP*
Coolkidcol: You’re becoming violent Penelope Featherington. I don’t like it. I thought you were a pacifist.
Pennyboo: I AM. But, can you please be kind to yourself? It’s not your fault! How on earth do you believe that? You’re kind, you’re funny, you’re generous, you’re not bad to look at, I guess. Marina does not like to be tied to one person; that’s her personality. It has nothing to do with you. NOTHING. Zilch. Nada 🙄
Coolkidcol: Really? But… but why couldn't she change for me? Why couldn't I change her?
Pennyboo: Colin. You can’t change people 🫂. They have to want to change. You’re great but you’re not capable of changing someone who doesn’t want to be changed! Marina is who she is, flaws and all… I don’t want to badmouth her too much because I love her, but I’m very mad at her for what she did to you. Marina needs change, she can’t sit still, and she sometimes talks before she thinks. She has qualities but you can’t… It’s not your role to change her. I think you’ve watched too many romcoms.
Coolkidcol: Stop being so calm and measured! Also… Of course, I’ve watched too many romcoms, you forced me to watch ALL of the Twilight movies when we were teenagers 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Pennyboo: And didn’t it help you land like dozens of girls because you knew by heart most of Robert Pattinson’s lines? 🙄
Coolkidcol: I didn’t say it was a bad thing. I said you forced me, and now I’m an addict. In a way, this is all your fault ahah 😅
Pennyboo disliked a message
Coolkidcol: Come on Pen, I was kidding!
Pennyboo: I know… but Colin, face it, you liked it. I may have forced the first one on you, I admit but the 3 other movies? You, you, you 🙂↕️
Coolkidcol: 4*
Pennyboo: You’ve proven my point.
Coolkidcol: Ok! I admit it! I love Twilight! I adore Forks, I adore Bella, I adore her weird red car and the bad wigs. I love vampires. Can you blame me? Have you seen Edward??? Rosalie??? The sexy redhead that is a meanie???
Pennyboo: Colin you’re 25, you can’t say meanie anymore
Coolkidcol: I do what I want 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Coolkidcol: meanie meanie meanie
Pennyboo disliked a message
Pennyboo: bro.
Coolkidcol: I'm not Greggy, don’t call me bro ????
Pennyboo: dude.
Coolkidcol disliked this message
Pennyboo changed Coolkidcol nickname’s to coolbrocolin
Coolbrocolin changed Pennyboo nickname’s to Pennywise
Pennywise: COLIN 😡😡😡😡
Coolbrocolin: my nickname sounds like a fucking vegetable
Pennywise: come on, I'm a CLOWN who eats children
Coolbrocolin: what??? Is this true??? Did you just spoil me??? Lemme change it
Coolbrocolin changed Pennywise’s nickname to Pennymeanie
Pennymeanie: COLIN 🙄🙄🙄
Coolbrocolin: I'm not your bro??? I’ll change it once you change my name back too. You’re supposed to cheer me up! 😡
Pennymeanie changed Coolbrocolin’s nickname to Colin ✨
Colin ✨changed Pennymeanie’s nickname to Pen 🌞
Colin ✨: better all around
Pen 🌞: it's very yellow but… I think it's good. Are we good?
Colin ✨: yes we are… I know I'm in Australia and that it’s the middle of the day for you but… can we hate-watch Twilight ?
Pen 🌞: omg yes
Colin ✨: ☺️☺️☺️ yeaaaah
Pen 🌞: lemme find the movie and let’s meet back here in 10
Colin ✨: pen
Colin ✨: pen
Colin ✨: pen
Colin ✨: pen
Colin ✨: pen
Pen 🌞: yes??????
Colin ✨: nothing I wanted to bother you, that’s all 🙂↕️
Pen 🌞: you're a menace today 🙄
Colin ✨: I'm always a menace
Pen 🌞: So we hit play at the same time ?? And we LR over text?
Colin ✨: why don’t we just facetime? I want to see your face
Pen 🌞: Gen’s working
Colin ✨: 😑😑😑 stupid work. I wanted to see your pretty face
Pen 🌞: well, too bad you'll have to settle for my pfp
Colin ✨: 😭
Colin ✨: I miss you ❤️
Pen 🌞: I miss you too 💛… let’s hit play!
Colin ✨: god, I had forgotten about the beginning
Pen 🌞: Colin, it’s been only a minute. How could you have remembered the intro? It’s just the “Summit Entertainment” logo, and well, it’s a film from 2008, so…
Colin ✨: Have you given much thought about how you would die?
Pen 🌞: God, I knew this was a bad idea 😶🌫️
Colin ✨: No!!! Run little lamb
Pen 🌞: it’s not a lamb. It’s a deer 😭😭😭
Colin ✨: The music is incredible.
Colin ✨: Imagine redoing this intro about my life: London, under clouds and rain, population: too many to count. And also. Why is she so angsty?
Pen 🌞: Colin. Can we watch a bit more of the movie?
Colin ✨: Charlie’s so sexy.
Pen 🌞: I agree.
Pen 🌞: her stupid little cactus
Colin ✨: Do you think I’d be sexy with Charlie’s moustache 😌😌?
Colin ✨ : Pen?
Colin ✨ : Pen?
Pen 🌞: I’m focused. Her bedroom looks so much like mine when I was a kid 😭😭
Colin ✨: Well, except yours was not purple but yellow! OHHH TAYLOR LAUTNER 😍😍😍😍
Pen 🌞: This stupid ass wig 😭😭
Pen 🌞: God, the blue filter is so jarring. And Bella is a fucking emo, damnnit? 😭😭
Colin ✨: Well… I understand. I couldn’t live in a place without the sun.
Pen 🌞: Is that why you’re never in London?
Colin ✨ : I mean, yes and also I can’t stay still, I think… I have issues with focusing on one place like you
Colin ✨: OH MY GOD THE LUNCH SCENE 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Colin ✨ : EDWARD! My childhood CRUSH 😍😍😍
Pen 🌞 : They all look 30 years old 😭😭 And Bella is so shocked by his beauty ahahah she’s really 17 😭😭
Colin ✨: I mean look at him. Look at her. Look at YOU 🤭🤭
Colin ✨: Why is this movie so dramatic? It looks like he’s about to die. Over her smell
Pen 🌞: Edward is dead. He’s so EMO.
Pen 🌞: ahahahhahaha I had forgotten about Bella smelling herself 😭😭😭😭
Colin✨: It also looks like he’s about to poop
Pen🌞: I would have been SO confused 😑
Colin✨: Well…I’m sure your blood smells amazing, Penelope
Pen 🌞: The diner scene is just so ADORABLE
Colin ✨ : The mum is so Hyacinth coded, damnnit. I’m sure Hy will be like this as an adult
Pen 🌞 liked a message
Pen 🌞 : Kristen Stewart plays an annoyed 16-year-old who is just so confused by an emo boy so well
Colin ✨ : She plays it well because they’re all SO HOT
Colin ✨ : Emmett is so buff 😡
Colin ✨: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the “ah ah ah ah” song 😍😍😍😍
Pen 🌞: You make no sense 🙂↕️ The yellow is overwhelming, let me change our names again.
Pen 🌞 changed her nickname to Pen
Penny changed Colin ✨ nickname to Col
Col: I wish I was as buff as Emmett. Do you wish I was as buff as Emmett?
Pen: If you want to…? Colin. Your ADHD is shining through this live reaction. You’re constantly texting!
Col: She fell!! God. Why am I so invested?
Pen: Because this is a masterpiece?
Col: Those boys are ALL over her 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Pen: My experience in high school was SO different!
Col: No way! You were so cute and so pretty and so adorable! 💛
Pen: Tell that to my non-existent dates from 14 to 19 😅😅
Col disliked a message
Col: Did I learn about cell division thanks to this scene? Yes?
Pen: How many times did you watch this movie?
Col: I don’t know.
Col: Anaphase!
Pen: You’ve just predicted the third phase of fucking cell division, Colin 😂😂
Col: Fine, 20 times, I believe?
Pen: His eyes!
Col: They’re so sweet. The music is SO good. Also, he’s hot when he saves her from a car driving straight to her ✨✨
Pen: Did he just leave?
Col: You don’t get it.
Pen: What?
Col: He’s YEARNING
Pen: Believe me, I GET IT
Col: How so? Who do you have a crush on?
Colin: Pen?
Pen: This is the hospital scene!!! God, the battle of the sexy dads!
Colin: Peeeeeeeen? 😭😭😭
Pen: I don’t want to tell you Colin.
Col: But why? Don’t you trust me? 😶🌫️😶🌫️
Pen: I do but… I don’t want to tell you.
Col: NOT THE GASLIGHTING from you and from Edward 😡😡😡
Pen: I’m not gaslighting you
Col: To quote Bella “I want the truth”
Pen: To quote Edward “Well you’re going to be disappointed.”
Col disliked a message
Pen: Is he in her room? What the hell? 😱😱😱
Col: Well, I’ve never said this movie was very forward when it came to matters of gender equality
Pen: Bella is being a girl’s girl despite being a bit, “I'm not like other giiiiiirls”
Col: You’re a girl’s girl ❤️
Pen: Edward is a bit creepy when you think about it 😅
Col: He’s in LOVE
Pen: It’s still creepy
Col: Love’s not creepy
Pen: In this case, it is
Pen: Why are you in Australia anyway?
Colin: Escaping 🫠
Pen: In the land of the sharks?
Col: LA PUSH BABY!
Pen: This movie is so iconic
Col: YOU’re iconic 🌞
Col: He’s moody, you’re right 😭😭
Col: Oh also, Australia’s cool?
Pen: What about all the crazy animals living in this scary country? I guess there’s the beach 🤭
Col: They’re not scary 😡
Pen: Sharks???? Spiders???? Snakes????
Col: Sea puppies??? Leggy puppies??? Noodle puppies???
Pen: I like you Colin, but I’d never visit you in Australia 😂
Col: What if I could ensure your safety? (I carry you like a backpack everywhere)
Pen: I’m too heavy
Col: No. 😡😡😡 Never. You’re feather-light! Gettit?
Col: Did you have the same coat when you were 16? 🧐
Pen: Colin. Is that what you’re taking from the scene where Bella is almost figuring out that Edward is a vampire with Jacob? 😂😂😂😂
Col: There are more important things in life than this movie. Like you❤️
Pen: I am so touched, Colin 💛
Col: The sexy redhead!!!! 😍😍😍
Pen: 😅😅😅😅 Why are the villains so sexy?
Col: I must admit I have a thing for redheads 💞
Pen: OH Bella!!! Independent bookstore queen!!
Col: She’s way better than I remember. Slightly boy-obsessed but hello, I’m boy-obsessed too. And girl-obsessed 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Pen: I love the Port Angeles scene, but I wish they had made Bella more interested in her friends. They both seem so cool!
Col: In the books, there is a third girl who is a meanie
Pen reacted with a 😂emoji
Pen: Have you read the books?
Colin: Is that a real question?
Pen reacted with the 😭 emoji
Pen: I had forgotten that he just arrives like that? GTA V who?
Col: He’s a menace. And SO dramatic.
Pen: This movie is a horror movie from Bella’s point of view
Col: But. He’s in love!
Pen: Ted Bundy was in love?
Col: Don’t compare him to Ted Bundy.
Col: Awwww! he feels very protective of her! I love the restaurant scene😍😍😍
Pen: Colin, he’s still being creepy 😑
Pen: The cat scene is fun tho ahahahhahahh 😂😂😂😂
Col: I would protect you like he protects her 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Pen: Bella needs therapy 🧐. She has low self-esteem. Also, thank you, Col
Pen: God, the line “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you”. STALKER
Col: Sometimes, I feel the same ❤️
Pen: ????
Col: Well… I’ve always felt drawn to you, Ever since we were children, I’ve felt this pull to stay close to you.
Pen: I’ve always felt the same as well.
Col: ❤️❤️❤️❤️ You’re really my best friend
Pen: you too ❤️❤️
Col: God, I love this scene. She’s a research queen 👑👑👑
Pen: She’s a research queen who needs therapy.
Col: But, for real, sorry but…
Col: How sorry I’ll be sappy again in a second. It’s the FOREST scene 🤭🤭
Pen: It’s SO iconic ❤️
Col: A WHILE in a low voice. GOD. He’s really my childhood crush.
Pen: Me too.
Col: BELLA HAS NO BASIC SURVIVAL SKILLS
Pen: ahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahha I want to take this seriously but COME ON 😂😂😂
Col: PECS. SHINY PECS. ABS. SHINY ABS.
Pen: He’s beautiful, Bella, but it’s the skin of a killer!
Col: Oh my god, Yes Robert you’re very attractive 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Pen: Imagine being as attractive as him🤭
Col: Well. You are… so… 😌😌
Pen: BELLA??? WHERE ARE YOUR MORALS? You just said you don’t care that he killed people?
Col: Well, he saved her twice.
Pen: BELLA! You met him 2 weeks ago, why are you SO ATTRACTED TO HIM?
Col: He’s Robert Pattinson.
Col: Pen. I’m just realising something. Your scent is also quite addictive.
Pen reacted with 🧐
Pen: Everything in this movie is iconic 🤭
Col: Like you.
Col: I wish we could lie together in the forest like them.
Col: I would love to be in a flower field with you now instead of being at the other end of the world. You’d be all adorable lying in the grass. We could have a picnic! 😍😍
Col: I’m positive about three things, like Bella is.
Col: First: You’re so cute.
Col: Second: You’re the best.
Col: Third: I think I’m in love with you.
Col: Pen? It’s been 10 minutes.
Col: Pen?
Three missed calls from Col
Pen: Colin. I don’t think you mean it.
Col: I do! I really do ❤️❤️❤️
Pen: But, but, but… Why are you saying it over a text?
Col: I just realised it.
Pen: What? How?
Col: I don’t know… It just… clicked.
Pen: Because of Rob Pattinson’s shiny abs???
Col: Is the movie still running for you?
Pen: Yes?
Col: The italian and kitchen scene ahahahhahahahahah🤭🤭🤭🤭
Pen: Colin. You’ve just confessed that you love me, and you’re still focused on the movie ?? 😭😭. We’ve been friends for 20 years. This is crazy. Do you realise that this is crazy?
Col: Do you love me? 😥😥😥
Pen: That’s not the question?
Col: Well, now it is. Do you love me?
Pen: I mean. I don’t hate you
Col: Pen… I’m so sorry if I overstepped.
Pen: You’re in Australia! I’m in Paris! I… I don’t understand.
Col: I LOVE YOU. I love everything about you. Your kindness, your humor, your generosity, your everything? I. Am. In. Love. With. You.
Pen: Colin. I read this while Jasper’s ‘I want to eat you’ face that looks like an ‘I want to poop so badly’ face was playing. I’m going to pause the movie.
Pen: Colin. That’s so kind. But do you really love me?
Col: Well. I’m actually packing my bags right now.
Pen: I don’t follow.
Col: I booked a ticket to Paris in 3 hours.
Pen: You’re crazy 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Col: I’m crazy in love.
Pen reacted with 🥹
Pen: Well…I love you too. I’ve loved you for a while now ❤️
Pen: But you’re unhinged? ❤️
Col: I don’t mind being unhinged about you
Pen: But what does this mean?
Col: We’ll see 🥰
Col: Oh god, the graduation caps???
Pen: Colin? Are you still watching?
Col: I mean, yes, why not?
Pen: You’re something else. Really, something else. 🤭😍
Pen: But I love you.
Col: In his room, there’s no bed, but there is a settee… They CAN have sex 😏
Pen: Colin Bridgerton.
Col: I love you so much 😍😍😍😍
Pen: Me too Colin. Me too 🤭
Col: I’ll listen to Clair de Lune on the plane and think of you.
Col: OHHH, they’re dancing.
Pen: You really are addicted.
Col: I want to dance with you to this music 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Col: SPIDERMONKEY 😍
Col: You’re my little spidermonkey 😘
Colin changed Pen’s nickname to Spidermonkey.
Spidermonkey: I pushed play again, and wow. Portland is wonderful 🥰
Col: I want to kiss you so bad. In a tree overlooking the mountains too ❤️
Spidermonkey: It’s going to be difficult in London.
Col: The London Eye will suffice.
Col: Well. Penelope. My taxi has arrived. I am… I am so excited to see you 😍😍
Spidermonkey: I am excited too. I still can’t believe this happened 🥹
Col: Well. You need to believe it. I am going to come home and kiss you, and we’re going to have a wonderful evening. I’m going to slip into your room and surprise you 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Spidermonkey: I can’t wait for you to sit at the end of my bed and to kiss me.
Spidermoney: I’ve dreamt about it for years.
Col: I think I have too
Spidermonkey: You think?
Col: I mean I’ve dreamt about it but… I thought I was just being horny because you’re SO HOT, but know I think I was in love.
Spidermonkey: You’re hot 😚
Col: I can’t wait to watch you sleep 💞
Spidermonkey: And to almost kiss me for 2 minutes straight?
Col: No, I’ll kiss you. Properly kiss you.
Col: I am almost at the airport my love. See you soon ❤️❤️
Spidermonkey: See you soon ❤️
***
“Want to finish the movie and watch the baseball scene”? Penelope asked, standing at her door in her pajamas.
“Well. Later. Now, I want to kiss you.” Colin smirked and swept her into his arms.