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Hayden hadn't been able to sleep all night, more than normal. Usually, his lack of sleep was akin to his baby crying, or the twins wanting to climb in bed with him and Jacki.
But not this time.
This time he was pacing through his living room. His phone clutched between white knuckles, waiting for news, any news about Shane's condition in the hospital.
Hayden was on the bench when the hit happened, and he'd tried to run over the second he saw his best friend's body hit the cold ice. But he couldn't. Their coach forced them to stay back, to let the medics do their job.
He felt blood boiling in his veins as he watched Ilya Rozanov lean over Shane's body.
What the fuck did that asshole want, anyway?
He was probably happy that Shane, Rozanov's biggest competition, was going to be out of the game for at least the rest of the season.
Seeing that guy with his best friend, when he couldn't be there for him, it pissed him off.
The teams had finished their game, heads a mess, but the Montreal Metroes were more determined than ever to take the win.
They did.
And they made sure to bruise a few ribs while they were at it.
As assistant captain, it was Hayden's job to handle all post-game press, in Shane's absence. He couldn't recall a single question asked or answer he'd given, his mind was too busy, too distracted by his worry for his best friend.
The team doctor had reached out to the coach, who informed the team that Shane was okay-ish. He was on some pretty heavy medications, and wouldn't be seeing any visitors until at least the morning. The good news was that his injuries weren't career-ending. The bad news? He wouldn't be back this season, which seriously killed any hope Montreal had for another cup.
But none of that mattered right now. What mattered was how his friend was doing. And, as much as Hayden hated to admit it, he was also thinking about what the fuck Rozano was doing checking on Shane when he fell. Could he say he was just being a good Captain, showing sportsmanship? Sure. Of course. Except he was Ilya fucking Rozanov, king of being a douche bag. He didn't give a shit about being good sportsmanship.
It was a quarter past two in the morning when Hayden finally got an update from Yuna, Shane's mother.
"You can come by in the morning."
"Okay, thank you."
He didn't want to push for any more updates. He knew, as scared and exhausted as he was, that Shane's parents must be tenfold.
Hayden joined his wife in bed, arms wrapped around her. His heart beat calmed, and he finally fell asleep.
And then the baby woke up.
-
It was twenty past nine in the morning when Hayden pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. He'd wanted to be here first thing in the morning, to be the first one in the doors when visiting hours began, but having four little ones at home made that kind of difficult.
Jacki was a saint, quite frankly. He was gone so much during the season, but she never complained. She also knew how much Shane meant to Hayden, and that her husband had been up over half the night in a panic.
Hayden twirled his wedding ring around his finger and smiled softly to himself before getting out of his car, managing to avoid the ridiculous paparazzi that stood by the entrance.
Jesus christ, leave the guy alone! He wanted to scream. Instead, he kept his head down.
He followed the hospital signs to the floor that Yuna had told him Shane was on, and approached a nurse at the desk.
"Mr. Hollander has a visitor at the moment."
"Oh, that's alright. Can you tell his mom that Hayden is here?"
The nurse looked away, her face beet red. "His mother is not-". She shook her head.
"Oh, well, he's allowed more than one visitor at a time, isn't he?" Hayden was getting antsy, he needed to see his friend.
"He asked not to be bothered."
"He?"
She nodded, "Mr. Hollander's visitor."
Hayden shook his head and turned away from the woman, he checked his phone once again to make sure he was going to the right room. But then, as he was in ear shot of the door, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sound of an all too familiar accent.
"You scared me."
Scared you? Why the fuck do you care what happens to him, Rozanov?
"Scared myself."
God, Shane's voice trembled. Hayden was hurting for his best friend.
Ilya spoke again, "But you will be okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be okay. I wanted to tell you last night. I wish I could have texted you, I was-"
"Shh."
Okay, seriously. What the fuck was going on? Hayden felt like he shouldn't be standing here, listening to this. But he couldn't walk away. Were Shane and Ilya friends? If so, why would Shane keep that from him?
Determined to get answers, desperate to just look at his friend and make sure he was okay, Hayden stormed into the room. He saw Ilya's hand in Shane's hair and froze in place.
Shane was the first to notice Hayden's presence, he looked at him, scared. Terrified, even. He shifted in his bed, and Hayden watched Ilya pull away from Shane.
"Hayden, I-"
Ilya cut Shane off, "I was just leaving."
Hayden stood there, probably longer than he realized, looking like a total idiot. "No, you are staying."
Ilya laughed at that, and Hayden was thrown off by his audacity. Nothing about this moment felt like a laughing matter.
"You tell me what to do now, huh?"
"I do when I walk in on you...you caressing my best friend's hair in his hospital bed. What the fuck, Shane?"
Hayden watched Ilya's teeth clench, he'd only seen the man look this angry once before.
It was the middle of October, and the Metroes were in Boston for an away game. Shane had come back to the hotel later than normal, in a different t-shirt and drenched in the scent of cologne that Hayden had recognized only when he skated by the Boston Captain. Shane's game was seriously off, and Hayden always thought something went wrong with his "just a friend" Lily.
Oh.
Holy shit.
"You don't speak to him that way, Pike. He's in the goddamn hospital."
"Ilya, its okay." Shane reached out for the man's hand, and Hayden couldn't believe his own eyes.
He was putting the pieces together in his mind. Thinking about everything he thought he knew about his best friend.
Everything that wasn't true.
"Hayden, I'm sorry. But I...I couldn't tell you."
Fuck, that felt like a stab to the chest. Couldn't tell him? His best friend, the man he'd spent the last six years of his life side by side with, couldn't tell him? He felt his lungs close up, his words stuck in his throat.
Hayden stormed out of the room, and he hadn't even realized he was being followed until Rozanov's hand was on his shoulder, pulling him back.
"Do you know how hard this is for him?" The man sneered.
"No!" Hayden barked back, "Obviously, I don't know a fucking thing."
Ilya shook his head, "Keep your voice down." He gestured to an empty area down the hallway.
Hayden wanted to tell him to go fuck himself. He wanted to punch Rozanov square in the jaw. "Fine." He sighed.
The two men sat down, and Hayden waited for a moment, wondering if Rozanov would start to explain.
He didn't.
"I don't care that he's...gay, or whatever."
Ilya nodded, "Good, you shouldn't."
"Yeah..." Hayden's expression remained planted on the floor, "But the two of you...you're a fucking prick, Roz."
"Yes."
Goddammit, he sounded way too proud about it.
"Shane isn't...bad. He's the nicest guy I know, the best guy I know."
"For me too."
"And I mean, shit man..." Hayden began anxiously scratching at the back of his neck, "Are you two...together?"
"We...sleep with each other. From time to time. Text, Skype, too. But more than that...for me, yes. For him? I don't know."
"You don't know? You haven't asked him?"
"Talking is not our speciality." Ilya smirked.
"Oh, fucking gross, man." Hayden huffed, and then he looked up at Ilya and saw the genuine love in his eyes.
He loved Shane.
Ilya Rozanov, the biggest asshole in the league, was in love with his best friend. Okay, so, that's weird. But it explains a lot, and...it makes Hayden feel sad.
"How is he doing?"
"How is it you say...drugs make him happy?"
Hayden laughed, "Yeah, he's probably on some good pain killers right now."
"You should go see him, he will be happy to see you." Ilya insisted.
"Shit, yeah man." Hayden huffed, "I am a bad friend for walking out, aren't I?"
"Annoying? Da. Bad? Well-" and Ilya shrugged, laughing to himself as he did it.
The two men stood, and to Hayden's surprise, Ilya reached out to shake his hand. It was...an olive branch, perhaps. But a nice gesture nonetheless.
Ilya walked ahead of Hayden, and went inside the room first. Shane was still sitting up, panic all over his face. It looked like those drugs had started to wear off.
Hayden kept his distance for a moment, allowing Ilya to approach Shane first. He stood at the door, watching the men interact. They were whispering this time, so he couldn't quite understand what was being said, but their was a fondness in Shane's eyes that Hayden had never seen before.
He was in love.
After a moment, Ilya kissed the top of Shane's head and nodded at Hayden before leaving the room.
Hayden finally took a step closer to his friend, before he sat in the chair next to his bed. "I'm never going on a double date with you two." He joked, trying to cut the tension.
Shane rolled his eyes, "We're not...it's not like that. We're not dating."
Hayden shook his head in disbelief, "I know you're kind of high right now, man, but do you have eyes?"
"Huh?" Shane looked genuinely confused.
"He's in love with you." Hayden stated, point blank. There was no uncertainty in his voice. In fact, of all the things he'd learned in the last half an hour, this was the one thing he was most certain of.
Shane turned his head, avoiding Hayden's gaze, "No...no, he isn't."
"He is, like, seriously. I should have seen it, when he ran to you on the ice last night-" Hayden stopped, he noticed the way the mention of the accident caused Shane's body to tense up, "Anyway, I won't tell anyone. Obviously."
"Not even Jacki?" It hurt Hayden to hear it, but he was sure it hurt Shane more to say it.
"Not even Jacki. For the record, I still think he's a prick."
Shane laughed, "He is. But he's good, too."
Hayden shook his head, "I think you're the only one who sees that."
He watched the expression on his friend's face shift. At first, he looked like he was going to argue, and then a small, fond smile formed on his lips.
Man, Shane was in love.
He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it all along.