Work Text:
Will is sitting on the floor of his bathroom in a pool of his own blood, he has no idea how long hes been there and he has no idea how long it will be before someone finds him.
He was doing really well, like really well. The tube was removed a few days ago and he hadn't cut in over a month. He's even starting school next week.
He isn't entirely sure why he felt the need to cut, everything in his life has been going as well as it could be currently. But something inside of him just itched, a small voice in the back of his mind begging for relief.
He couldn't fight it off anymore. Luke has explained that relapses are going to happen occasionally and that when they do he needs to tell his dad or brothers so he can get medical attention but he just feels so ashamed.
His dad and brothers have been so proud of him recently. He can see it in the way they look at him and how they have been interacting with him.
They look so pleased that he is laughing and playing more. They have huge grins on their faces as they watch him eat without prompting. They look so happy when Will hit that one month clean mark.
But this. This isn't something they will be proud of him for, he can't bring himself to be the one to tell them. Hes so pathetic. This was so stupid, hes so stupid.
He can't even bring himself to cry right now, hes just numb. He knows he should start cleaning up so his dad and brothers don't have to deal with this but he can't bring himself to move.
He continues to just sit in silence. Knees to his chest, chin resting on top of them as blood slowly drips from his amrs. The razor still sitting in his hand
He doesn't think he needs stitches, he doesn't feel dizzy or lightheaded at all but if they continue to bleed like this he may. Only another reason he should probably clean up now and pretend this never happened, then at least he can avoid a trip to the ER.
Just as he decided to finally get up and clean himself up dad quietly crouches down in front of him. He has a sad look in his eyes, Will feels horrible.
"I'm going to take the blade now hun." Dad says quietly. Will just nods a little, a single tear running down his cheek. Dad gently pulls the razor from Wills hand and sets it on the counter out of Wills reach.
"Ok darling, lets get you cleaned up." Dad says well picking him up and setting him down on the toilet instead. He moves away for a moment before coming back with a towel and uses it to hold pressure on Wills wrists.
After a few minutes the bleeding stops. Dad carefully pulls the towel off his wrists and starts to clean the fresh cuts with some antiseptic. Once all the dried blood is gone dad starts to look each cut over thoroughly.
Dad looks up at him with a soft forced smile. "No stitches needed sweet pea. Im going to bandage you up then we will go watch a show, alright?" He says well wiping away a few stray tears rolling down Wills face.
"Dadda, 'm sorry." Wills says quietly as tears start to steam down his face faster. Dad just leans in and gives him a gentle kiss on the forehead before he pulls away.
Dad wraps his wrist tightly, once he's finished he holds Wills hands and gently rubs his thumbs in Wills palms.
"You have nothing to apologize for my love. Lets get you changed then we can talk more downstairs." Dad explains gently the starts to help Will out of his blood soaked clothes. Dad gets him into some clean Pjs, then picks him up and carries him downstairs into the living room.
Dad sets him down on the couch then wraps the weighted blanket around him. He kisses him on the top of the head and say he will be right back. He goes into the kitchen then returns a few seconds later with Wills water bottle a small bowl of crackers and a bottle of ibuprofen.
He sits down next to Will then hands him two pills and his water bottle. Will huffs and shakes his head, he doesn't deserve pain killers nor does he want them.
Dad sighs and starts gently rubbing his back. "You don't have to take them love, but they will help. I know your arms are hurting you and despite what your brain in telling you, you don't deserve to be in pain."
At that Will lets out a little sob, he doesn't deserve how gentle his dad is being with him. He wants dad to yell and scream and call him pathetic, but he doesn't he just quietly tends to Will. It feels so good, but its not right.
"I do daddy, I do. Im so patheticccc!" Will says through sobs. Dad carefully pulls him into a hug, he rubs Wills back and rocks him back and forth.
"Shhhhhh, deep breaths baby. You don't deserve to hurt love, and you arent pathetic. This is an addiction darling it's not just going to go away." Dad soothes well continuing to rock him back and forth.
Will just sobs into his dad arms, after a few minutes his tears dry up and he's just softly sniffling into his dad's chest.
"I love you my sweet boy... lets have a snack and watch a show, ok?" Dad says well giving him a kiss on the top of his head then pulling out of the hug. He grabs the bowl of crackers off the coffee table and hands them to Will.
Will eats one then takes a sip of water. They sit in silence well dad starts messing with the TV remote to put a show on for Will. A few minutes later bluey is playing.
After another few minutes of silence, the only sound coming from the TV Will speaks. "Daddy, can I have the medicine?" Will asks quietly, he still doesn't feel like he deserves it but his arms are really hurting now.
Dad gives him a soft smile. "Of course darling." He responds before grabbing the two pills of the coffee table and handing them to Will.
Will takes them with a grimace, he hates swallowing pills. Once he's done dad leans over and gives him a kiss on the temple.
"Good job love." He says quietly well starting to rub Wills back again. They sit like this for awhile. Will eventually climbs into his dads lap and lays on his chest, dad lets him putting his arms around Will and rocking him gently.
After a few hours of silent comfort dad finally speaks again. "Can you tell me what happened sweetheart." Dad asks gently, hes still rocking Will back and forth.
"I don't know." Will whisper. He really doesn't know what happened, it just did. He couldn't stop himself. Its so pathetic.
Dad nods with a soft sympathetic look on his face. "Ok, thats ok. You don't have to know. I do want you to talk about this with Luke though, maybe he can help you understand what happened." He responds.
Will nods he can do that, he hopes Luke will have some explanation for this because right now Will just feels stupid. There was no 'trigger' as Luke would call it, Will just randomly felt the need to hurt himself and he wasn't able to stop. Its the most pathetic thing ever.
"Can I have a nap?" Will asks a few minutes later, hes so tired he just wants to lay down.
"Yeah baby, would you like to go to bed or stay on the couch?" Dad questions well giving him a little squeeze.
"Bed please." Will responds.
"Ok hun." Dad says well picking him up and putting him on his feet. Will frowns he doesn't want to walk.
Dad stands up and gives him a confused look. "Whats the matter squirt?" He questions gently.
Will huffs. "Wan you to carry me." Will grumbles Dad gives him a goofy smile.
"Ohhh you want me to carry you do you?" Dad says with a grin as he grabs will and throws him over his shoulder well tickling Wills sides. Will giggles and squirms.
"Daddy no!" Will says with a giggle as dad continues to tickle him.
"If you want to be carried you also get tickes my love." Dad responds with a laugh as he lets will slip off his shoulder and into his arms bridal style instead. Dad blows a raspberry on his cheek then kisses his forehead.
Will giggles a little bit more then rest his head on his dads chest well he catches his breath.
"Ok baby, lets get you in bed for a nap." Dad says well walking towards the stairs with Will still in his arms.
Once they are in Will room dad sets him down on the bed before pulling the covers back and helping Will climb in. He tucks him in and gives him a kiss on the forehead.
Dad sits down on the edge of the bed and gently rubs Wills back.
"Daddy will you lay with me?" Will asks quietly. Dad gives him a soft smile.
"Yeah sweetheart I can lay with you, move over a little." Dad says well climbing into bed with Will and pulling him into a hug.
He draws circles on Wills back well Will shoves his face into his dads chest and takes deep breaths. Dad whispers to him softly, telling him how much he loves him and how strong and brave he is.
Minutes later he falls asleep in the his dads arms.