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Harris’s heart wouldn’t calm down.
The paramedic told him after they, somehow, landed safely that his elevated heart rate was normal. Nothing to worry about.
But that was almost two hours ago.
He tried deep breathing, watching a random cooking show, and naming five things he can see, four things he can hear but his Tampa hotel room’s beige walls are starting to close in and there’s a ringing in his ears drowning out the AC.
He really should go to the emergency room. Hell, he probably should have done that an hour ago. But that meant admitting that whatever was going on was serious and he didn’t want it to be serious. Serious meant calling his parents who were definitely already freaking out about the emergency landing. He didn’t want to add potential heart failure into the mix.
The alternative was worse, though. It was probably insanely unlikely, but if he did go into heart failure here, alone in this hotel room, where no one would notice he was missing until, Jesus, two days from now. Well. That would be an infinitely worse phone call.
Slowly, carefully, Harris stood up from the bed and put on his shoes. Thank God he’d worn slip-ons. He grabbed his wallet and phone, ordering an Uber to the nearest emergency room. He wasn’t going to check his messages until he knew if he was (or wasn't) okay.
He should probably tell someone he’s going to the hospital. Someone here with the team, just in case. Yeah, that’s the smart thing to do.
He called Dr. Jones and let him know what was going on. Thankfully, the team doctor didn’t make too much of a big deal about it, just made Harris promise to text him updates every hour once he got to the hospital.
Harris opened his door and took half a step out into the hallway before freezing, wide eyed in shock.
Troy was standing there, hand raised like he’d been about to knock on Harris’s door. He had a plastic bag full of something Harris couldn’t really make out in his other hand. Had he bought whatever it was for Harris?
“Oh! Hi! Sorry, I was, um, just about to knock.” Troy belatedly lowered his hand and, geez, that adorably uncertain expression on his face was unfair and definitely not good for his heart. “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah, I was…I’m…,” and Harris could lie, but he really didn’t want to, especially not to Troy. They’d shared a moment on the plane, had given each other comfort in what could’ve been their final moments. And now…Troy had come to maybe check on him and maybe bring him something. You don’t lie to someone who’s willing to do that for you. You just don’t.
Harris sighed and glanced up and down the hallway. Empty.
Troy shuffled back as Harris stepped fully into the hallway, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him. The poor guy was starting to look very concerned and, maybe in another life where they were more than friends and he didn’t semi-urgently need to go to the hospital, Harris would have risen up on his tip toes to kiss away the concerned scrunch between Troy’s dark brows.
“I’m taking myself to the emergency room to get my heart checked out.” Troy’s eyes widened, but Harris kept going, speaking over his sharp inhale before he could say something Harris had heard too many times before.
“I have a congenital heart defect that’s affected me my whole life. It’s mostly under control now, and I haven’t had to go to the hospital or get surgery for it in years, but, y’know, I have to be careful.”
Harris started walking towards the elevators and Troy followed, wide blue eyes never leaving Harris’s face.
“And the– what happened on the plane wasn’t exactly careful. My heart hasn’t calmed down since I got checked by the EMTs when we landed so I’m going to the emergency room, just to be safe, and I already let Dr. Jones know.”
Inside the elevator, and a little winded from his speech (that can’t be good), Harris leaned against the cool wall and took deep, slow breaths. He fucking hated his heart right now. It wasn’t even letting him enjoy how close Troy was standing next to him.
“I’m coming with you.”
Harris looked at Troy and he needed to catch his breath for a whole different reason. He’d never seen him look so serious, so fierce, off the ice. And now his heart and his brain weren’t going to let him enjoy the fact he had a smoking hot NHL star worried about him.
The elevator dinged and it took Harris slightly more effort than usual to push himself upright so he could walk out into the lobby. Troy must have noticed, because he felt the warmth of a large, steady hand on his lower back. It was gone a second later as the two made their way towards the exit, but Troy was still following close behind, making sure he was ready to catch Harris if he suddenly keeled over. Definitely not the way he’d want to end up in Troy Barrett’s arms for the first time. If that was even a possibility.
“That’s a kind offer, but it’s really not necessary. I’ll be okay by myself.” His Uber still wasn’t here, so Harris sat down on a bench near the exit and tried not to worry about how good it felt to sit down.
If Troy came to the hospital with him, Harris knew his big, dumb, gay heart would fall even farther for the probably 100% straight hockey player and there would be no coming back from that. Nope, better to avoid that devastating future at all costs.
“Harris.” Troy kneeled on one knee in front of him and, wow, his eyes are just ridiculously blue. This whole day really needed back off with the heart-fluttering antics.
“I’m coming with you. No way I would let you go alone, are you kidding?” Troy looked so concerned and Harris knew he was a goner. He’d been lying when he said he’d be okay going on his own, anyway.
“Yeah, okay.”
Troy nodded and sat beside Harris, quiet, leg anxiously bouncing. About a minute later, Harris’s phone buzzed.
“Uber’s here.” Troy grabbed Harris’s elbow to help him stand up, which wasn’t strictly necessary, but was definitely nice.
Then, he opened the car door for Harris and buckled him into the backseat like an invalid, which wasn’t as nice.
“Hey,” Harris began as Troy got settled beside him and they were on their way. “I’m glad you’re coming with me, but you don’t need to do stuff like that. I’m not dying or anything. I can still do things by myself like buckle a seat belt.”
“Oh. Sorry, I’ve never really taken care of anyone who was, um, sick, before? So...” Troy ducked his head and some of his hair fell over his forehead. Harris couldn’t really make out his expression but a passing streetlight revealed his ear was bright red.
Harris had to remember to keep taking deep breaths or he really would die and it would be Troy’s sweetness that killed him.
“It’s okay,” and Harris placed a reassuring hand on Troy’s arm, but the other man tensed up. Right, best to keep his hands to himself anyway, if only for his own sanity. Troy was only being helpful when he’d placed a steadying hand on Harris’s back earlier.
“I’ve just been dealing with people treating me like I’m fragile my whole life and it really, really, sucks. I missed out on a lot of my life when I was growing up and I get why my parents were so worried, I really do, but I’m not gonna live my life like that anymore. I promise I’ll ask if I need any help. Okay?”
Troy was silent for a while and Harris turned to look out the window, wondering if he was finally regretting tagging along on this super fun trip to the hospital.
He should’ve known better, though, because nothing about tonight was going the way he expected it to.
Harris gasped and stared down at his hand. The hand that Troy was holding. They were holding hands. He looked up at Troy, expecting…well, he didn’t know what he was expecting, but this had to be a mistake, right?
But all he saw was a shy, rare, smile on Troy’s face and something so devastatingly tender in his eyes.
“Yeah, okay,” Troy said, squeezing Harris's hand.
They rode the rest of the way in silence, with Harris speechless and placing way too much faith in his stupid breathing exercises. His poor heart! First a near plane crash and now holding! Hands! With his crush!? At least he was using his heart to its full potential. Hopefully he wasn’t wearing it out.
When they arrived at the emergency room, Troy gallantly let Harris get himself out of the car and into the reception area without too much hovering.
Heart issues tended to be a high priority, and since the emergency room was thankfully not too busy and Harris had a long, serious medical history, he was called back pretty quickly. Of course, Troy followed and Harris didn’t even try to tell him not to.
They ran through all the usual tests and the doctor told him he’d come in just in time. If he’d waited any longer, the prolonged strain on his heart could have caused serious and irreparable damage. Yikes.
Troy stayed silent, sitting in a chair by the exam room door, leg bouncing. He must have seen the frown on Harris’s face, though, when they told him they needed to put in an IV to give him beta-blockers to slow his heart rate down, because Troy stood beside him and held his hand as the needle went into his arm.
The nurse promised to check in in 30 minutes, and Troy sat back down, leg bouncing, as they waited for the meds to kick in. Harris texted Dr. Jones another update and settled into the hospital bed as exhaustion finally set in.
“Hey, what was in that plastic bag you had earlier?” Somewhere between the elevator and the emergency room, Troy had ditched the bag and Harris really wanted to know what had been in there.
“It wasn’t really, um, anything important,” Troy shrugged, crossing his legs, ankle on one knee, then putting his leg down again before putting his other ankle on his other knee. Harris only managed to avoid laughing at the adorably awkward display because he was so tired.
“It was for me though, right? If it was for me, I think I should get to know what it was. C’mon, I’m dying over here!”
Troy let out a bark of laughter before clamping a hand over his mouth looking mortified, but that laugh meant everything to Harris. For the first time since the plane, he really, truly smiled.
“It’s okay to laugh, y’know. That’s what you’re supposed to do when someone makes a joke.” Troy looked at him in disbelief before shaking his head and chuckling.
“It was for you. You always take care of other people and, I mean you comforted me when the plane– when all that stuff earlier today happened, but then I thought, who’s comforting you? So, I got you some cookie dough ice cream, because you said you wanted some if- once we landed, right? It was nothing and kinda dumb now that I think about it–”
“Troy.”
“--especially after the shit we went through today. Like, how is ice cream supposed to help after that shit? I don’t–”
“Troy!” Troy stopped rambling, face red with embarrassment and Harris knew in that instant that he loved that man and would always love him regardless of what Troy was willing to give him in return.
“Getting me cookie dough ice cream wasn’t dumb! I actually think that’s the sweetest, kindest thing anyone’s ever thought to do for me. And, for the record, I think I’d love anything you decided to get for me. Hell, just you being here right now is helping a lot.”
“Really?” Troy was staring at Harris, wide-eyed, fidgeting with the zipper of his hoodie.
“A hundred percent. I, um, always feel better when you’re around.” Now it was Harris’s turn to be embarrassed. Geez, why’d he have to go and say all that?
But Harris didn’t even have time to spiral, because there was Troy, standing beside him and holding his hand with both of his like it was something precious.
“I always feel better when you’re around, too.” All Harris could do was stare up at Troy in wonder, cautious hope flooding his veins. A long time ago, though, he'd promised himself he wouldn’t live his life cautiously anymore. Time to put his money where his mouth is.
“On the plane, when we were bracing for impact, I really thought we were gonna die.”
Troy squeezed his hand. “I know, I did too.”
“I thought about my family, my life, and I– I thought about the things I regretted,” Harris took a deep breath, the first in a while that actually seemed to work, and took the plunge. “My biggest regret, in that moment, was never getting the chance to kiss you or tell you how I feel.”
There it was. It was out there and there was no taking it back. Whatever happened next, Harris wouldn’t regret this moment. He was living his life honestly and bravely and he would never apologize for that.
“Wow,” Troy said, sounding breathless. He was still holding Harris’s hand but one of his thumbs had started to trace circles on it's back.
“Wow?” Harris hoped Troy wasn’t slipping into a panic attack, because having to explain how one of the team’s biggest stars also ended up in the hospital would be beyond humiliating.
“Just– Wow…” and Harris didn’t really think about much after that, because all of the sudden Troy freaking Barrett was kissing him so sweet and slow that all desserts would almost certainly be ruined for Harris forever.
The kiss ended softly with Troy resting his forehead on Harris’s, their noses brushing.
“Was that okay?” Troy leaned away, not going too far, only a couple inches, anxiously searching Harris’s face. Too fucking sweet.
“Are you kidding?” Harris laughed in disbelief and used his free hand to bring him in for another kiss.
Apparently Troy wasn’t all sweetness, because this kiss quickly devolved into something more urgent and hungry, and Harris was ready to be devoured.
Troy took charge, moving one had to brace himself over Harris for better leverage. Harris tried to give as good as he was getting, lacing his fingers through Troy’s hair and exploring Troy’s mouth with his tongue. But, where Harris was exploring, Troy was claiming. Never in his life had Harris been kissed with so much desperate desire. Every sense was filled with Troy and Harris wanted to drown himself in it.
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
The pair parted with a gasp, rudely interrupted by Harris’s heart monitor. Oh. Right. He caught his breath and tried to get his bearings. Damn, that’d been one Hell of a kiss.
“Sorry! Sorry, are you okay? Should I call someone?” Troy looked absolutely panicked, and clutched Harris’s hand like he was going to slip away any second. He cupped the poor, sweet man’s cheek and ran a thumb over his dark stubble.
“No, no, I’m okay. Just got a little excited there.” Harris grinned and grinned even harder when Troy smiled back.
“Yeah, I kinda got carried away.”
“Feel free to get carried away anytime, just maybe not when I’m hooked up to a heart monitor.”
“Noted.” And there they were, smiling at each other like a pair of idiots. This was definitely the most fun Harris had ever had in a hospital.
“Bring that chair over if you’re gonna keep holding my hand. I don’t wanna be blamed by Coach Weibe for you throwing your back out hunching over my bed like that.”
Troy snorted and dragged the chair from the door to the bed and plopped down. He picked Harris’s hand up again, quickly kissing the back of it.
They sat in silence for a little while, but Harris’s mind was swirling with questions that probably shouldn’t be asked right now.
“So…We should probably talk about this at some point. Right?” The circles Troy was drawing on the back of his hand paused, but they started again a second later.
“Yeah. Yeah, we can talk in the morning. I think you should get some sleep as soon as we get back to the hotel.” Harris nodded and distantly noticed that his heart was beating normally again.
“Okay. First thing in the morning.”