Chapter Text
ACT I
The Nagging
"But Mooooom, everyone at school has a pet! Everyone except me!"
Charlotte Pickles stood in the kitchen of her immaculate home, one hand on her hip, the other holding a cappuccino that was rapidly cooling while her daughter worked herself into peak tantrum formation.
Angelica Pickles, age three-going-on-tyrannical, had her arms crossed and her signature pout deployed at maximum efficiency. Her Cynthia doll dangled from one hand like a silent accomplice.
"Angelica, sweetheart, we've discussed this," Charlotte said with the patience of someone who'd had this exact conversation seventeen times in the past week. "Pets are a big responsibility. They need food, and cleaning, and—"
"I'll do everything! I promise! I'll feed it and clean it and love it so much!" Angelica's voice hit frequencies that made the kitchen windows vibrate.
Charlotte winced. She had a conference call in twenty minutes. The new marketing campaign wasn't going to present itself. And Angelica had that look—the one that said this conversation could go one of two ways: quick capitulation or a three-hour psychological warfare campaign.
"What kind of pet are we talking about?" Charlotte asked, knowing she'd already lost.
"A hamster!" Angelica's face lit up. "A cute little hamster! Susie Carmichael got one and it's so adorable and everyone thinks it's so cool and I told them I was getting one that's even better!"
Ah. There it was. Competition with Susie Carmichael, Angelica's favorite frenemy. Charlotte could either spend the next week listening to Angelica complain about being the only kid without a hamster, or she could spend thirty minutes at a pet store.
She checked her watch.
"Fine," Charlotte said. "Fine. We'll go to the pet store after my call. But Angelica—" She pointed a perfectly manicured finger at her daughter. "You are responsible for this pet. That means feeding, cleaning, everything. Understand?"
"Yes yes yes yes yes!" Angelica was already jumping up and down. "I'm gonna have the best hamster ever! Better than Susie's! Better than anyone's!"
Charlotte took a long sip of her now-cold cappuccino and wondered, not for the first time, how her daughter had inherited both her determination and her father's complete lack of volume control.
The pet store smelled like cedar shavings and regret.
Angelica pressed her face against the glass of the hamster habitat, eyes wide. Inside, a dozen hamsters went about their hamster business—running on wheels, burrowing in bedding, stuffing their faces with food pellets.
"That one!" Angelica pointed at a fluffy orange-and-white hamster who was, at that exact moment, attempting to climb directly up the glass wall. He made it approximately three inches before sliding back down. Undeterred, he immediately tried again.
"Are you sure, sweetie?" Charlotte asked. "That one seems... energetic."
"He's perfect!" Angelica declared.
The teenage store employee, whose name tag read "Kyle" and whose expression read "I'm just here for minimum wage," opened the habitat and reached for the hamster.
The hamster, apparently interpreting this as a new game, scurried directly into Kyle's hand and looked up at him with bright, curious eyes.
"Huh," Kyle said. "This one's pretty friendly. That's weird—he just came in yesterday. Someone found him in their backyard and thought he was a wild mouse or something." He handed the hamster to Angelica. "Name's Hamtaro, according to the tag on the cage he came in with."
Angelica held Hamtaro up to eye level. He looked back at her with what she interpreted as adoration but what was actually Hamtaro wondering if this large creature had any sunflower seeds.
"Hamtaro," Angelica repeated. "That's a dumb name. I'm gonna call him... Prince Whiskers the Third!"
Hamtaro, who had been called many things in his short hamster life but never anything involving royalty, sneezed.
"I think that means he likes it," Angelica announced.
ACT II
The Show-Off
Tommy Pickles sat in his playpen, attempting to build a tower out of blocks that seemed determined to fall over every time he looked away. His best friends—Chuckie Finster, and twins Phil and Lil DeVille—were scattered around the living room in various states of toddler activity.
Chuckie was examining a dust bunny he'd found under the couch with scientific fascination. Phil and Lil were engaged in their favorite game: "What Does This Taste Like?"
"I don't think dirt tastes like chocolate, Lillian," Phil was saying, mud smeared across his face.
"It could!" Lil argued. "You gotta give it a chance, Phillip!"
The front door burst open with the force of a tiny hurricane.
"Babies! Babies! Look what I got!" Angelica stormed in, holding a plastic pet carrier aloft like a trophy.
All four babies looked up. Angelica's arrivals were rarely good news, but they always brought a certain dramatic flair to the afternoon.
"Lookie here at my new pet! He's a hamster and he's mine and he's better than anything you dumb babies got!" Angelica set the carrier down on the coffee table and opened the door with a theatrical flourish.
Hamtaro poked his head out cautiously.
From his perspective, this had been a very confusing day. One moment he'd been in his cozy clubhouse with his Ham-Ham friends, and the next he'd somehow ended up in a strange yard, then a loud building with bright lights, and now... now he was in a new house with very strange, very large creatures.
But Hamtaro was nothing if not adaptable. And curious. Mostly curious.
He scurried out of the carrier and sat up on his hind legs, nose twitching.
"Wow," Tommy breathed, scrambling over the playpen wall with practiced ease. "A hammser!"
"Hamster," Angelica corrected, though she pronounced it more like "ham-stir." "And his name is Prince Whiskers the Third and he's mine so you babies can look but you can't touch!"
The babies formed a semicircle around the coffee table, staring at Hamtaro with the intensity that only toddlers and research scientists can achieve.
"He's got little hands," Lil observed.
"Those are paws, Lillian!" Phil said. "Like Spike!"
"But littler," Lil countered.
Chuckie pushed his glasses up his nose. "Um, Tommy? I don't think that's a hammser. I think it's a monster!"
"He's not a monster, Chuckie," Tommy said with the confidence of a natural leader. "He's... he's a 'sventure waiting to happen!"
Hamtaro, hearing what he interpreted as friendly chirping, stood up and waved his little paw.
The babies gasped.
"He sayin' hi!" Lil squealed.
"I told you, he's Prince Whiskers!" Angelica said, though she was clearly pleased by their reactions. "And he only listens to me 'cause I'm his owner!"
"What's a honor?" Phil asked.
"Owner, dummy! It means he's mine and has to do what I say!" To demonstrate, Angelica pointed at Hamtaro. "Prince Whiskers! Do a trick!"
Hamtaro tilted his head. Then, interpreting this as permission to explore, he hopped off the coffee table and scurried toward the babies.
Angelica shrieked. "No! Get back here! Prince Whiskers, I command you!"
But Hamtaro was already investigating Tommy with intense interest. There appeared to be a cookie crumbs on his shirt. This was valuable intel.
Tommy giggled as Hamtaro's whiskers tickled his leg. "I think he likes me, Angelica!"
"He does not!" Angelica stomped her foot. "He likes me! He's supposed to like me!"
Hamtaro found the cookie crumb. Victory. He sat back on his haunches and nibbled it contentedly.
"Look, Tommy! He's eating the same thing you ated!" Lil said. "You guys got the same taste!"
"Maybe we could be friends," Tommy said, reaching out to gently pat Hamtaro's head with one chubby finger.
Hamtaro looked up at Tommy. The large creature seemed friendly. Possibly snack-adjacent. This was a good combination.
He made a small, pleased chirping sound.
"See? He said 'yes'!" Tommy translated with absolute certainty.
Angelica's face was turning red. "You dumb babies don't understand hamster talk! He said 'I only like Angelica and I wanna go back in my fancy cage'!"
"That's a lot of words for one squeak," Phil observed.
"Chirp," Lil corrected. "He chirped. Squeaks is for mice."
"What's the difference?" Phil asked.
"I dunno, but there probably is one."
Angelica threw her hands up. "This is boring! You babies are too dumb to appreciate Prince Whiskers's amazingness!" She scooped up Hamtaro, who had been in the middle of determining whether Tommy’s shirt was edible as he nibbled on a loose string. "Come on, Prince Whiskers. We're going somewhere where people actually 'preciate us!"
She flounced toward the door, Hamtaro dangling from her hands like a fuzzy, bewildered trophy.
The babies watched her go.
"I liked the hammser," Chuckie said quietly.
"Me too," Tommy agreed. "I hope Angelica's nice to him."
"Angelica's never nice to nobody," Lil pointed out.
"Except Cynthia," Phil added.
"Cynthia's a toy. She don't got feelings."
"Yeah but—"
Their debate was interrupted by a crash from upstairs, followed by Angelica's voice: "PRINCE WHISKERS, GET OUT OF MY MAKEUP!"
The babies exchanged glances.
"Maybe the hammser don't like Angelica," Tommy said.
ACT III
The Transfer
Three hours later, Angelica had reached her limit.
Prince Whiskers the Third (née Hamtaro) had:
Shoved bedding out of his cage and onto her bedroom floor
Refused to run on his wheel when she commanded it
Hidden behind her dollhouse when she tried to make him wear a bonnet
Stored an entire cheek-full of pellets in her favorite shoe
And, most egregiously, seemed more interested in exploring than in being a living accessory
"You're supposed to be cute and do what I say!" Angelica shouted at the cage. "That's what pets are for!"
Hamtaro, safe in his igloo hideout, continued grooming his whiskers. He'd dealt with difficult housemates before (Boss could be quite demanding), but this loud tiny human seemed to expect him to be a stuffed animal rather than a living creature.
Charlotte appeared in the doorway. "Angelica, sweetness, it's dinner time. Could you please lower your—why is there hamster bedding all over your—" She stopped. Sighed. "You know what? I don't want to know. Wash your hands."
"Mom, Prince Whiskers is broken!" Angelica whined. "He won't do tricks or be cute or anything! He just runs around and makes messes!"
"That's what hamsters do, honey."
"Well it's boring! Susie's hamster does tricks!"
"I suspect Susie is exaggerating." Charlotte looked at the cage, where Hamtaro had ventured out of his igloo and was now innocently grooming a paw. "Honey, remember what we talked about? Responsibility? Taking care of something even when it's not exciting?"
Angelica's face scrunched up in the expression that usually preceded a grade-A meltdown.
Charlotte made a command decision. "Tell you what. Tomorrow, why don't you bring Prince Whiskers over to Uncle Stu and Aunt Didi's? Show him to Tommy again. Maybe by then he'll have settled in and be more... cooperative."
"Fine," Angelica huffed. "But if he's not better by then, I'm gettin' a cat!"
The next afternoon, Angelica arrived at the Pickles house with the carrier, Cynthia, and a storm cloud over her head.
"I'm only here 'cause my mom made me," she announced to Tommy, who'd been playing with Spike in the backyard. "But Prince Whiskers has been terrible and if you dumb babies wanna play with him, fine! See if I care!"
She opened the carrier with less ceremony this time. Hamtaro emerged, took one look at Tommy, and immediately scurried over.
Tommy's face lit up. "Hammser! You came back!"
Hamtaro stood up on his hind legs, whiskers twitching. This large creature from yesterday! The one with the cookie crumbs! This was promising!
Angelica watched, arms crossed, as Tommy gently picked up Hamtaro and showed him to Spike. The dog sniffed the hamster with mild interest. Hamtaro sniffed back.
"See, Spike? This is Hammser! He's gonna be our friend!"
Spike's tail wagged once, which Tommy took as enthusiastic approval.
Angelica felt a twinge of something uncomfortable in her chest. It might have been jealousy. It might have been the tangerine she'd eaten too fast at lunch.
"Whatever!" she said loudly. "He's a dumb hamster anyway! Who wants a hamster when you could have a cat or a dog or a... a pony!"
"A pony!" Chuckie had appeared from inside the house, followed by Phil and Lil. "We're getting a pony?"
"I'm getting a pony!" Angelica corrected. "Or maybe I'll just keep Prince Whiskers 'cause he's mine and—"
"Angelica!" Stu Pickles emerged from his workshop, covered in what appeared to be motor oil and holding what might have been a toaster. Or possibly a small robot. "Hey, kiddo! Your mom just called. She needs you to come home early—something about a work thing."
Angelica's eyes went wide. She looked at Hamtaro, who was now being gently petted by all four babies in a scene of toddler-hamster harmony.
A calculating expression crossed her face.
"Uncle Stu," she said in her sweetest voice, "would you wanna do me a huge favor?"
"Uh," Stu said, in the tone of a man who'd learned to be suspicious of that particular voice.
"Could you watch Prince Whiskers for me? Just for today? 'Cause my mom needs me super bad and I can't take him home right now but he's so special and needs lots of attention and—"
"Angelica, I don't know if—"
"Please Uncle Stu? Pretty please? You're the best uncle and I know you'll take such good care of him!"
Stu looked at his oil-stained hands. At his nephew and friends, all cooing over a small orange hamster. At the half-finished invention in his workshop that really needed his attention.
At the earnest, manipulative face of his niece.
"Just for today?" he asked weakly.
"Just for today!" Angelica lied with the confidence of a seasoned politician.
Ten minutes later, Angelica was gone. The carrier remained. And Hamtaro found himself, rather suddenly, a resident of the Pickles household.
Stu stood in the living room, holding the carrier, only now realizing what had happened.
"Didi?" he called out. "Honey? Did we just acquire a hamster?"
Didi emerged from the kitchen, took one look at the situation, and sighed the sigh of a woman who'd been married to Stu Pickles long enough to expect exactly this kind of thing.
"How much did Angelica pay you to take it?" she asked.
"She didn't pay me. She just... said it was for today."
"Uh-huh. And how many times has Angelica said 'just for today' and actually meant it?"
Stu's face fell. "Oh. Oh no."
"Oh yes." Didi looked at Tommy, who was pressing his face against the carrier, making what he probably thought were hamster noises at Hamtaro. "Well. I suppose we have a hamster now."
"I could call Charlotte—"
"Stu, Charlotte is prepping for a corporate retreat in Aspen and SENT for Angelica to be picked up. She's not answering her phone for anything short of a natural disaster."
"This might qualify," Stu muttered.
Didi knelt down next to Tommy. "Tommy, sweetie? It looks like Hamster is going to stay with us for a little while. Can you be a good big boy and help Mommy and Daddy take care of him?"
Tommy's entire face lit up like he'd just been told Santa was real and coming early. "We gets to keep Hammser?!"
"Just for a little while," Didi said, though she and Stu both knew the truth.
"YES!" Tommy pumped his fist. "Hammser's gonna live with us and we're gonna have 'sventures and be best friends and—"
Hamtaro, hearing the excitement, began scurrying around in circles around Tommy’s feet.
Stu sighed. "I'll... I'll go to the pet store. Get supplies. Do hamsters eat... what do hamsters eat?"
"Seeds," Didi said. "And pellets. And vegetables."
"Right. Seeds. Pellets. Vegetables." Stu looked at the carrier. At the eager faces of four toddlers. At his wife's knowing expression. "We're really doing this?"
"We're really doing this."
"Okay. Okay! I can handle a hamster. How hard can it be? I've built robot babies! A real hamster should be easier!"
Didi and Stu's eyes met. They both knew that somehow, it would not be easier.
But as they watched Tommy carefully open the carrier and gently scoop out bedding for Hamtaro to lay comfortably outside, they saw the pure joy on their son's face. The curious contentment in the hamster's eyes, they both thought the same thing:
At least it wouldn't be boring.
Hamtaro -unable to sit still - found himself back in Tommy's palm, looking around at his new home. The large fluffy creature (Spike) seemed friendly. The other small creatures (the babies) seemed excitable but kind. The tall creatures (Stu and Didi) seemed confused but well-meaning.
It wasn't the clubhouse. It wasn't home with Laura.
But it was... interesting.
And if there was one thing Hamtaro excelled at, it was turning interesting situations into grand adventures.
He looked up at Tommy and chirped.
Tommy beamed. "I think he said he's happy to be here!"
Chuckie peered over Tommy's shoulder. "What if he said he's plotting our doom?"
"Hammsers don't plot doom, Chuckie," Tommy said with absolute certainty. "They plot 'sventures!"
And thus began the partnership between Tommy Pickles, future leader of toddler expeditions, and Hamtaro, hamster adventurer extraordinaire—neither of whom spoke the same language, but both of whom understood perfectly that the best adventures always started with a little bit of chaos and a lot of curiosity.
Outside, the sun set over suburban California.
Inside, Stu Pickles stood in his kitchen, reading the back of a hamster care manual he'd panic-bought at the pet store, wondering how he got bamboozled by a kid.
And in the living room, a toddler and a hamster locked eyes across species, across language, across the vast divide between human and animal—
And silently agreed: this was going to be fun.
Tomorrow their adventures begin...