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Sanji had been dreading this exact second when he would meet their resident swordsman again. The rest of the crew had been so kind in forgiving his recklessness when it was very much borderline treason, but he didn't know how the mosshead would react. The first mate’s rare solemn face at Water Seven more than two years ago floated to the back of his mind. It was not that Sanji needed his validation in particular. He had apologized to Luffy and had vowed to himself to dedicate the rest of his life supporting their captain’s dream. Sanji would still fulfill that vow even if the mosshead had some objections.
So, it was kinda anti-climatic when the man in question just shoved a baby in his hold and went into battle mode in an instant. Then when he had barely stomped down his annoyance, the moss had saved the beautiful lady Sanji was about to gallantly rescue and looked quite chummy escaping with their arms around each other.
He had missed out on a lot.
Of course mossy-brain wouldn't care about Sanji's life or death. The blonde chef was too full of himself to even think that he would ever matter that much. Zoro would probably just grunt in response to news of whether their cook would come back or be replaced by somebody else. Brook’s recounting of the ‘scandalous’ event his old bones had chanced upon the other night wasn't helping, and was that jealousy he smelled when Sanji was just dutifully admiring the perfection of said lady?
Tsk, possessive much.
At least they still have their fights. Even if Sanji loathed to think about his higher bounty when it was clearly because of that additional Vinsmoke to his name, that was by far the most effective bait in getting a rise out of the mellowed out swordsman. Why did he seem to change more in the month that Sanji was gone than the two years they all had been apart? Does having a life partner really cause such a big change in a man’s life?
Sanji probably wouldn't ever get a chance to experience that. Because Germa’s bullshit was messing up with his body.
Everything had felt so wrong for the last few hours. Sanji had almost even believed he had broken his life principle and kicked a lady, and never had he felt such a huge relief when it was proven otherwise. That big-crap ugly-ass dino-machine freak needed to be taught lessons real fast, and to triumph over him meant proving wrong the glorified trash that was Judge’s invention.
In the meantime, he was dumping all the bandages and scrap fabrics he could find near his barely conscious excuse of a nakama inside a dimly lit corner of the castle. There were so many broken bones he had to reset and open wounds he had to pinch close to get back a semblance of the man he bled his heart for. Sanji tightened the knots with deliberately more force to the securing wooden planks. If he had to carry this burden around for the rest of the night, the moss better be stable for any kind of jostling in the ensuing fights. That fucking Law called himself a doctor and dumped this task to a mere chef, so he better not complain for any missteps.
“Do you even know what you're doing?” asked Zoro with a hoarse voice after however many silent pained grunts.
Sanji was fully focused. He replied with bandages in both hands and in his mouth, “It’s no different than trussing up a ham.”
“Am I a ham to you?"
You're everything you want to be to me and I'll take a ham over nothing. So, yes.
"Shut up and conserve your energy,” he said instead.
His hard work was undone not long after when Mosshead joined the fight anew with the help of some kind of booster drug. But it was as unimportant as the weird change in Sanji's body on the eve of the final fight. If they could take down Kaido’s double seconds-in-command, shift their attention away from the others, and give Luffy enough freedom to finish up his fight upstairs, the Strawhats would finally glance at the dawn of their captain's dream. The Wings of the Future Pirate King shared a tacit grin before taking on their respective enemy head-on.
It was a hard-won victory.
Sanji had snailed his rival mid-fight to warn the man about his particular situation before giving his all in reckless abandon. If anyone could kill him, it was Zoro. If he could see anyone before he lost the last remnant of himself, it would better be Zoro. He didn't want to see the tears in his friends’ eyes, but to have the swordsman finally cry over him would probably be divine.
If the stupid brute didn't kill himself first, of course, thought Sanji in a mix of relief and annoyance after he felt the weak breath of the unidentified green lump he chanced upon in some random backyard of the fallen island. He managed to signal for Chopper before his sight also went black.
Two days was a long time for a man to sleep. So, Zoro should probably wake up by the third. The fact that it had become a known habit was a little concerning. Still, Sanji abused his guest privilege to access the palace’s kitchen and prepared some rice balls with fish for the sleeping ugly. This was the least he could do after burdening the moss with his personal problem.
Then Sanji walked into the sight of that bandaged back already sitting up with pretty Hiyori-chan tending to his side, she was holding up a plate of what could only be the prettiest onigiris to ever grace the world's existence. He mindlessly waved back at Robin while his mind was going thousands miles per hour. He should probably back off, right? Luffy wasn't currently in the room, but the boy wouldn't mind a plate of cold onigiris. Or maybe he could eat them himself and erase the evidence before anyone would notice. How did she know of Zoro's favorite when Sanji had spent days back then figuring it from the miniscule twitch of his eyebrows?
“Where's that Curly Cook?" came the familiar gruff voice amidst noisy chewing. The tactless bastard really couldn't display a trace of proper manners even in the presence of a literal princess.
Forced to stir from his halt, Sanji let himself cross the threshold of the room, "Eat with your mouth closed, Mosshead.”
The moss whipped his head back, saw him, and called out,
“Sanji."
“En."
Maybe out of pettiness, or the way his name sounded so special every rare time the swordsman remembered to use it instead of insults, Sanji crouched low and put the plate of rice balls on the blanket covering his lap. Zoro was lucky Sanji had a good balance of his lower body, because the sudden hand circling his waist could very much result in a knee to his groin and a plate of overturned meal. It still caught him slightly off-guard and the blonde had to steady himself into an awkward half-kneel with a hand on the other's less-damaged shoulder.
“I came back from hell to kill you," the green head whispered against his neck. Although why he found the need to whisper was beyond him.
Curious enough, it brought a smile to the blonde’s face, “Yeah?”
Zoro looked up to him with one narrowed eye, "So, do you want to be cut in half or sliced and diced? Put up a good fight, though, it'll be boring otherwise.”
"Oh, shut up, fight maniac." Sanji rapped a knuckle on his green head as he straightened himself, he had a feeling that the mosshead would've already drawn his three swords if they weren't deliberately placed across the room. He didn't meet the other’s gaze when adding quietly, “I'm totally fine. Let's forget about that.”
Blackleg Sanji was in better shape after completely getting rid of the raid suit. Not totally, but at least his emotions were still intact. Joy, pain, and all. Already recovered quite enough to realize it was kind of an asshole move of him to single out a nakama with the burden of guilt, even if he trusted Zoro's ability to fulfill the task. He didn't know if the symptoms would come back anytime soon, but he's okay for now.
“Nah, doubt it. You don't look sane.”
"Fuck you mean! Let go!" Sanji tried to wiggle out from his grasp in offense, but all the new bandages made it kinda hard to decide where to place his hands. Or he shouldn't care when his end goal was to kick this bastard ‘til the next island. He's so overbearing, surely Chopper wouldn't mind an extra broken bone, right?
Amidst their roughhousing, Sanji saw the confused lady from the corner of his eyes. Born from sympathy and mainly to regain his charmer street cred, he apologized, “Hiyori-chan, sorry to make you see such an unsightly sight."
Which was a mistake because the stupid mosshead took his gap of focus to circle both arms around the lankier man and pulled in. A hard bump against that hateful green head almost broke his rib and took a breath from his chest. What the fuck is this idiot doing?? This is almost hugging!! Anyone could misunderstand!
“I call dibs on this," Zoro said.
“On what?!" Sanji fumed.
“Your last heartbeat."
Good Lord! Zoro and his dirty talk while they’re fighting!
•••••
“Marimo, have you said anything to Hiyori-chan?" Sanji was hesitant, but he thought he probably should still ask.
"About what?” Zoro replied without lifting his gaze from the blade he was sharpening.
"About you choosing me over her, Bastard. Although I don't know how she could fall for a piece of moss like you, I hope you let her down gently." Sanji said nonchalantly as he packed more yukatas into his bag.
"Hah? What shit are you spewing?”
“Are you really dumb?” They met eyes. Sanji hated to clarify, “I mean how she's clearly in love with you and would make a perfect wife for the greatest swordsman!"
"Well, thanks for acknowledging my worth. But, I think you need to pin those excess hair back.” The mosshead responded dully and focusing back on the chinks of his katana or lack thereof.
“I'm not complimenting you! And are you saying that I'm blind?!!"
"Yes."
“Gosh, you're useless!” Sanji abandoned his luggage to stand up. He paced around their shared room with hands to his waist, muttering to himself, "I should probably make her favorite foods to apologize."
His pacing was stopped short with a large, strong arm barring his way forward.
“No one falls in love as fast as you, and why do you even have to apologize to her even if she does love me?" Zoro met his gaze with a look of puzzlement.
"I feel bad for breaking the lady's heart, of course. You know, stealing her chances.”
The over twenty humongous mountain of muscles clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. "I've been saying you're an idiot and nobody believes me.”
Sanji can't help but widen his eyes to the audacious statement. He yelled angrily, “You’re the idiot with a single moldy brain cell you take turns with our captain!"
(Luffy sneezed between a mouthful of meat, then continued on eating.)
The mosshead unexpectedly didn't spat anything back. Zoro scrutinized the other for a long time that made Sanji almost squirm in his grasp. The blonde glared in retaliation and daringly knocked his forehead forward, taunting that aforementioned single cell to come up with a half-decent comeback.
After a while…
“If you want me to marry you, just say so."
Sanji jumped back in shock and with some truly unmanly blush, he struggled a reply, “How– What– Where did that even come from, Mosshead??!"
“C’mon. The rite in Shimotsuki is the same with Wano. Let's get this done before our departure tomorrow.”
"Ww-Wait! Zoro!!!”
They got married and applied for a name update to the bounty poster.