Chapter Text
“Yo!” Prism shouted over the noise of the bullpen. “Roberto Roberto Robertson! You got a minute?”
Robert sighed as he ripped his headset off. “Yeah, what’s up?”
Prism grinned as she leaned against the side of his cubicle. “The girls and I are planning a huge playdate at my place this Saturday. You think Waterboy would wanna join in too?”
Robert rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
They didn’t talk about it often, but it had taken months to help ease Herm’s obsessive phone calls and visits to his Grandma’s place after he moved in with Robert and Flambae. At first, there was nothing they could do to stop him from checking in on her multiple times a day, anxiety on high alert as he scanned her for injuries and stuttered out excuses to stay longer. But after roughly half a year of therapy and routine, they’d gotten the visits down to once a week, with a daily phone call as a compromise.
That being said, any time Herm did get with his grandma took priority over everything else. Even playdates.
“That’s really sweet,” Robert said, “but he’s actually going over to his grandma’s this weekend. They’ve got a whole thing planned.”
“Oh.” The excitement drained from her small frame before something clicked behind her eyes. “Wait, so that means you’re free this weekend, right?”
Robert narrowed his eyes, already sensing where this was going. “Mm-hmm.”
“Perfect!” She slapped her hands down on his desk. “You should come instead!”
Robert hesitated, fingers tapping against his desk as he considered it. “You’re serious?”
“Dead serious.” She crossed her heart. “Besides, you're basically part of the playgroup anyway. Come hang out with us!”
He did his best to push down the warmth that fluttered in his gut at that.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out Flambae and Waterboy had been trying to get Robert more comfortable regressing around other people. He’d been wary about the idea in the beginning, but he’d be lying if he said all the extra time in Littlespace didn’t have a positive impact on his overall health.
The changes were gradual, but his mind was a lot quieter than it used to be. He slept deeper now too, no longer jolting awake to phantom alarms in the dark of the night. And his chronic fatigue, while ever present, didn’t seem to press down as hard on him after a successful day at work.
At the very least, he had to admit that felt good not worrying so damn much about everything once he regressed. Of having to constantly be a role model for others. Plus it was fun, in its own way.
Robert tapped his chin, pretending to mull over Prism’s offer. “Oh, gee… I don’t know…”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be like that! It’s a yes or no question!”
“I guess I could stop by for a bit.”
“Yes!” she squealed, jumping into the air like she’d just won the lottery. “I’ll text you the details later! Don’t be late!”
As she turned to bounce away, Robert called after her, “Hey, Prism?”
She spun around. “Yeah?”
“…Thanks. For the invite.”
Thanks for thinking of me.
Her grin softened into something more genuine. “Don’t mention it. See you Saturday, Robertson.”
—————————
Of course Alice had a playroom.
Why wouldn’t she? An internationally revered villain pop idol turned hero who paraded her Little status around like it was her first puppy? Oh, boy. Robert just knew Alice had fans lining up to send her all the best gear they could get their hands on.
He was proved right when he was led to a room so large it could’ve eaten his last apartment for lunch. Granted, it didn’t take much to clear that particular bar, but that wasn’t the point.
Alice’s playroom was packed to the brim with just about every toy imaginable: towering stacks of board games, shelves lined with all sorts of collectible dolls, and a mountain of colorful plushies that looked soft enough to dive into. The frilly pink curtains and tall glittery dressers were a bit overkill, but he could overlook that today.
At the center of the room, everyone gathered around a craft table littered with clear bowls, plastic utensils, and dozens of neatly labeled jars.
Robert shuffled awkwardly, suddenly feeling underdressed in his well-loved Track Star T-shirt and blue basketball shorts.
He took a deep breath to steel himself, caught off guard by the wave of sugary cake-scented air and that distinct, milky smell that regressors always gave off after slipping into headspace.
He’d be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel a little smaller than he already did. He just wished that floaty feeling came with something to calm his nerves.
“Go on,” Malevola urged him, ushering him towards the group with a gentle pat on the back.
He flashed her a wobbly smile. The kind one might expect to see from a scared animal, shaking and cowering from a pack of wolves in the dark.
“Robert, over here!”
Alice waved at him from her pink plastic stool, eyes bright and dimples present as she smiled at him.
It was easy to understand why everyone loved her so much. The girl was cute. Alice was fully decked out in her favorite black skirt, leggings, and an oversized shirt so big it kept slipping off one of her shoulders. Her two-toned hair was pulled back into twin puffs, and her arms were decorated with an impressive amount of friendship bracelets—including one that matched the same gold and white bracelet his Papi never took off.
“You’re just in time,” Janelle said. “I was just explaining to Alice that real potions don’t require the addition of glitter or sequins.”
Alice snorted. “Yeah, but who wants a potion that isn’t sparkly? That’s boring!”
Janelle let out a sigh and shot Robert an exasperated look, as if to say ‘Do you see what I have to put up with?’
Beside them, Courtney swished the contents of her “potion” with both hands, her little pink tongue poking out in concentration.
“Courtney,” Mandy warned gently, reaching out to steady the bowl before anything sloshed over. “Be careful. Use your spoon.”
The Little scowled, but lowered the bowl back to the table reluctantly.
Janelle hunched back over her own mixture, pouring all her attention into carefully dropping beads into the clear corn syrup. Each one made a soft plip as it disappeared beneath the surface.
Robert leaned forward on his elbows to get a better look.
Each bowl really did tell a different story.
Courtney’s potion looked like it had come straight from a witch’s cauldron. It was a gross swampy blend of thick, green paste and leaf bits that occasionally gurgled when mini pom poms floated to the top like dead fish.
Janelle’s, in contrast, was decidedly elegant. The luminous, pearl-like beads shone like little drops of moonlight inside her bowl. She nodded to herself, satisfied, as she nudged a bead into place with the tip of her spoon.
Alice’s potion was unmistakably hers: bubblegum pink shampoo mixed with fistfuls of silver glitter and crushed pink petals. It glinted like a mini disco ball every time her arm bumped against the bowl.
Malevola and Mandy’s bowls sat nearby too. One was a much more subtle champagne color with gold glitter swirling inside. Elegant, yet simple, just like Mandy. The other looked like someone had melted down part of the road and mixed it with the liquid from half a dozen red glowsticks. A dark, gritty concoction that reminded Robert of Malevola’s hellish warmth. It was clear whose potions belonged to whom.
Robert tried to tuck his legs under the plastic table, cringing when his knees knocked against the underside with a hollow thud.
“Don’t break it!” Courtney teased. “Pretty sure this thing’s worth more than everything you’re wearing.”
Heat rushed to Robert’s face when Mandy calmly pushed the table out for him to fit better.
“The table’s just a little small,” Mandy said. “Robert’s fine.”
Courtney snorted and went back to poking her potion. “If fine’s the word you wanna use.” She waved a spoon in Robert’s direction. “You sure you don’t wanna just sit on the floor? Might be safer for the furniture.”
“Visi,” Mandy warned.
“Alright! Alright! Sorry.”
Robert fidgeted with the hem of his shirt when Malevola steadied his chair so it wouldn’t wobble. He felt like a grizzly bear trying to join a tea party.
Part of him was already regretting coming to the playdate alone. He regretted waving goodbye to Chad as he drove away from Alice’s big, fancy penthouse. Guilt pinched at his gut when he realized that he wished Herm could be here with him instead of over at his grandma’s house. Maybe then, Robert wouldn’t feel so out of place.
“What’s your potion gonna do?” Alice asked him.
Robert stared at her, his brain lagging for a moment. “My… potion?”
“Mine wards off bad dreams,” Janelle said seriously.
Robert tilted his head in confusion. “How?”
“It turns bad guys into horses.”
Robert snorted so hard he felt spit coming up his nostrils. “What?”
“Horses don’t have hands that they can grab you with,” she explained calmly. “They have hooves. Plus, you can’t be scared of someone who’s eating hay and going neigh at the same time.”
Robert wiped his nose with the back of his hand, unable to hide the smile on his face. “I guess that’s true.”
“My potion’s gonna turn people into frogs!” Courtney declared.
Alice grimaced. “Yuck! Why?”
“Because why not!”
A bubble of green apple-scented air burst from her potion when she shook the bowl a little too hard, splatters of green liquid splashing the rim grossly. Mandy tsked and reached over to wipe it down with a stray napkin.
Robert didn’t miss the way Janelle snickered at Courtney, who stuck her tongue out at the other girl in retaliation.
“So?” Malevola said, sliding a clear plastic bowl toward him. “What kind of potion are you making, Robert?”
Robert stared at the empty bowl, then looked at the spread of "ingredients" scattered across the table.
Maybe he could make a potion that turned people into animals too. Not horses or frogs, but maybe something nicer. Like birds! Or puppies!
But then again, he didn’t want Janelle and Courtney to think he was just copying them…
He thought about his desk back at work. The constant noise of ringing phones, the clicking and clacking of mechanical keyboards typing all around him, and the way his head always felt like it was about to explode at the end of every shift.
“Maybe... something for quiet?” he said, his voice sounding small even to himself.
“A Hush Potion.” Malevola nodded approvingly as she handed him a bottle of chamomile-scented body soap. “Good choice. Let’s start with the base, yeah?”
Robert gave the bottle a firm shake, freezing when the lid popped off and a fat glob of soap splashed into his bowl.
“Uh… Oops?”
“You’re fine,” Malevola reassured him, plucking the cap out carefully. “That’s on me for not checking if it was closed correctly.”
“Wanna add some water into your potion?” Courtney asked, shaking a fresh water bottle over her head like it was a dog toy.
Robert opened his mouth to tell her off for treating him like a puppy, but… she was right. He did need to add some water. He nodded, sitting back as Courtney poured the water into his bowl.
Once she finished, he grabbed a plastic whisk from the tub in the center of the table. He stirred the soap and water together slowly at first, as if he was afraid the whole thing would bubble up like a mini volcano, then relaxed when nothing happened.
A sense of pride swelled in his chest as he realized something: this was the first playdate he’d made entirely for himself. Not for Chad. Not for Hermie. Just for himself. And for the first time ever, he was finally letting himself be small with everyone watching without feeling like the whole world was going to fall apart. That was huge!
At least, for Robert, it was. Up until recently, he’d spent his whole life guarding any and every vulnerability that could put himself in danger. That could put Mecha Man in danger. But now, surrounded by friends and family, he realized he didn’t have to do that anymore.
And no matter how many quills a porcupine had, sometimes, it just felt nice to turn over and let the world see how soft its belly was.
“Please?” Robert asked, pointing to a vial of orange flower petals by Janelle’s bowl.
She slid the container over without any hesitation. “Of course.”
He grinned toothily as he added the dried petals into this hush potion, watching as they unfurled like butterfly wings in his bowl.
“All done!” Robert announced, lifting the bowl for everyone to see.
“Oooooh cute!” Alice exclaimed. “Are you gonna mix the rest of it in?”
He just shrugged.
“I like it!” Courtney leaned in and took a deep whiff. “And it smells pretty good too!”
Maleva laughed at her antics. “Yeah, I’d say you did a good job.”
“Wanna get this thing in a bottle so you can take it home?” Mandy asked.
Robert nodded eagerly, watching with wide eyes as Mandy helped him funnel the orange liquid into a small glass vial. She guided his hand to press the cork inside with a final, satisfying pop, sealing the magic inside for him to look back at later.
He beamed as he held it up to the light, already imagining how much better his desk would feel with this tucked safely in his drawer.
—————————
Chad spotted Robert as soon as he stepped into the playroom.
He was curled up on a beanbag the size of an armchair, face buried in a plush unicorn about twice the size of Beef. His fingers curled loosely around a corked capsule filled with orange liquid, just enough so it wouldn’t go tumbling to the ground. His hair was all messy, cheeks pink, and eyes glassed over enough to let Chad know he was still deep in that slow, floaty headspace.
“Hey buddy,” Chad said, tapping Robert’s shoulder gently.
Robert looked up, face brightening as soon as he saw who was talking to him.
Chad shook his head with a smile. It was so crazy to think there was a time when he truly believed this angel was his mortal enemy. He almost couldn’t believe how fast they’d gone from that to… this.
For a long time, Chad had made peace with the idea of being alone.
He’d always been too loud, too intense, and far too complicated for most people to handle. Especially for a Switch or a Little. Why would someone inherently and biologically coded to seek out stability ever want to stay with a guy like him?
So he leaned into it. If he was going to be the guy that no one wanted to settle down with, then he might as well have some fun along the way. Go to a few clubs, start a few fights.
Never in a million years had he ever imagined he’d be driving someone home after a playdate with their friends. And the level of trust and love it took for Robert to open up to him like this? God. Chad cherished that more than anything in the world.
His heart squeezed when Robert made grabby hands for him. Lord help him, this boy was going to give him cavities from how sweet he was.
“Papiiiii,” Robert whined, dragging the word out as he pushed himself upright.
He leaned forward, bumping his forehead against Chad’s chest before slumping against the taller man like a puppy settling into warm blanket
Chad laughed and wrapped an arm around him. “Looks like you had fun.”
“Mhmm,” Robert nodded, immediately burying his face into Chad’s tummy. “Made potions.”
“I heard.” Chad couldn’t help the softness in his voice as he rubbed soothing circles into the small of Robert’s back. “Ready to go home, Eshgham?”
He yawned and nodded again. “M’kay.”
Once they made it back to the car, Robert all but poured himself in the passenger seat. He folded his arms over his stomach, looking up at Chad with big, expectant doe-eyes as he waited to be buckled in. He hummed and wiggled his toes in his sneakers as soon as the seatbelt clicked into place.
Chad couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him when the engine's roar made Robert jump. Robert turned to huff at him before melting back into his seat with a pout. Chad had to resist the urge to reach over and poke his bottom lip back into place.
“Tell me about your day,” he said casually, pulling away from the parking lot.
Robert stared out the windshield for a moment, thumbing at the cork of his new bottle. “We mixed lotsa stuff together.”
Chad smiled. “Yeah?”
“Alice got a buncha pink stuff on her face,” Robert added.
Chad snorted. “Of course she did.”
“And Janelle put beads in hers,” Robert continued. “They were super organized an’ everything.”
“Mm. Sounds like her.”
Robert shook his little potion bottle side to side, just enough to hear the liquid sloshing around instead. “I made a hush potion.”
Chad’s face twisted in confusion—because what the hell was a hush potion?—before schooling his expression into something more encouraging.
“You did?” he said instead, keeping his voice light and curious.
“Uh-huh. ‘Cause… ‘Cause the office gets real loud at work.” He glanced at Chad, his expression so earnest it was almost painful to look at. “I picked everything in it. All by myself, Papi.”
Chad’s heart might as well have evaporated from his chest. He reached over the console and squeezed Robert’s knee. “I’m so proud of you, baby. I’m glad you had fun today.”
Robert gave him a tiny smile before a massive, body-shaking yawn took over. He wiped the yawn tears away with a tired fist, scrunching up his nose to keep from falling asleep right then and there.
“Can we get nuggets later?” Robert asked.
Chad laughed. “Sure, Nafasam. Just don’t tell Waterbaby we got some without him.”
Robert hummed absentmindedly, eyes fluttering shut as they drove home.