Work Text:
centaurs + harris
Hazy
MY EYES ARE BURNING
Hazy
No one go in the kit room for the next 10 minutes
Hazy
For your own sake…
Hazy
Save yourselves
Hazy
It’s too late for me :(
Rozanov
*45 minutes
Bood
Gross.
Rozanov
Homophobic!!
Haas
lmao
Hazy
Are you seriously texting while getting a BJ??
Rozanov
😛
Hazy
@Roz good luck when Hollzy sees this
Bood
LOLLLL
Dykestra
Everyone pray for Rozanov’s life when Hollander gets his phone back.
Bood
He’s getting a blowie before practice, that man is NOT in my prayers.
the extended support grp
Hazy
These fuckers are driving me crazy.
Hayden
@Cliff People finally understanding our pain never gets old.
Cliff
Never.
Cliff
What did they do this time??
Hazy
Scarred my eyeballs!!
Hazy
For life…
Hayden
?????
Hazy
I saw something I can never unsee…
Cliff
LOL. That’s hilarious.
Hazy disliked this message.
Bood
This officially marks the third time in 2 weeks that someone has walked in on them…
Bood
@Cliff @Hayden how did you survive these two for all these years??
Hayden
Therapy.
Cliff
LOL
centaurs + harris
Shane
Oh God.
Shane
@Hazy I’m so sorry.
Shane
Won’t happen again.
Shane Hollander disliked Ilya Rozanov’s message ‘*45 minutes’.
Shane Hollander liked Evan Dykestra’s message ‘Everyone pray for Rozanov’s life when Hollander gets his phone back’.
the extended support grp
Boodram added Dmirty Romanoff to the chat.
Boodram added Kane Lasso to the chat.
Boodram added Sam Wells to the chat.
Bood
Everyone say hello to our new rooks.
Cliff
This is basically just a centaurs group chat now LOL.
Bood
I assume hollander & rozanov will traumatise them all eventually
Bood
Just getting a head start and adding them now.
Bood
Dmitry has already been victimised by them.
Bood
Rook knows Russian and heard them… talking.
Bood
He won’t say what was said but he looks like he’s been through war.
Hayden
Jesus Christ.
Dmitry
I am booking flight home as we speak.
Dmitry
Cannot look at my childhood hero the same.
Cliff
Is this a new MLH hazing ritual I don’t know about??
centaurs + harris
Haas
where is everyone?
Haas
i go piss for one minute and everyone’s gone!!!!
Sam
we outside
Bood
Cap got himself kicked out for almost starting a fight.
Haas
WTF
Haas
ok seriously?? i leave for ONE MINUTE??
Haas
what the fuck happened?
Bood
Some guy was all over Hollzy…
Bood
It’s already all over the news LOL.
Rozanov
Is no big deal I just threaten a little
Rozanov
Guy was little bitch, apparently
Rozanov
Could not handle one small tiny threat
Rozanov
@Hollander You deserve someone stronger than that ;)
Shane Hollander disliked this message.
Rozanov
My husband is so mean to me :(
Harris
@Rozanov Why do you hate me????
the extended support grp
Cliff
Saw the news lol WTF happened?
Cliff
All it says was that the centaurs got kicked out for fighting?
Cliff
Go Cens, I guess???
Hayden Pike added J.J Boiziau to the chat.
Hayden
Everyone welcome JJ to the club!
J.J
These motherfuckers are killing me
Cliff
LOL.
Cliff
So WTF happened at the club??
J.J
Rozanov lost his fuckin mind
J.J
Some guy flirting with Hollzy
J.J
Which obviously Hollzy didn’t even realise was flirting cause it’s fuckin Hollzy
J.J
So he goes all fuckin Russian on this guy’s ass
J.J
Was funny
J.J
Until he got us kicked out
J.J
Fuckin night ruined
J.J
I never thought Rozanov and Hollzy would cockblock me but here we are
Cliff
LOL
Cliff
@Hayden A new project for you?
Cliff
I know how you love to get involved with a love life…
Hayden
Fuck off.
Hayden
Is it or is it not going well with Amy?
Cliff
Whatever.
Hayden
You can admit it I am basically cupid for setting you two up and you’re now eternally indebted to me for fixing your shitty love life.
Cliff
…
Harris
These two make my job hell.
Hayden
We understand.
Cliff
We had years of their bullshit.
Dmirty
English is so stupid.
Dmirty
Sorry wrong chat.
Haas
lmao
Cliff
Congrats on the win, Centaurs!
Cliff
Sorry @Hayden @J.J
Cliff
LOL
Hayden
Having Shane & Roz on a line together is going to kill me.
Cliff
Still considering early retirement?
Hayden
Yes.
J.J
Me too.
Bood
LOOOOLLL
Haas
Good game @Hayden @J.J, you guys played great!
J.J
Thanks Rook!
Haas
Too bad the rest of the metros SUCKKKKK
Hazy
@Haas You’re too pure for this world.
Hazy
LOL I take it back…
centaurs + harris
Troy
@Rozanov Stop making my boyfriend stressed.
Rozanov
😇
Harris
Mandatory media training for all. Next Tuesday at 4pm.
Bood
Harris WHY
Hazy
Fuck I hate media training
Harris
Blame your Captain…
Harris
@Rozanov Mandatory media training is scheduled YET AGAIN. Thursday 2pm. Do not be late.
Rozanov
But I did not even do anything
Rozanov
Is not my fault :(
Harris
You’re joking.
Rozanov
No :(
Harris
Okay, well for future reference, saying ‘you love playing with your husband because you get to see his ass in the locker room everyday’ is NOT an appropriate answer to media.
Rozanov
But is true?
Rozanov
You want me to lie?
Rozanov
I am not a liar
Shane
@Rozanov Can you stop being an asshole for five seconds?
Troy
@Rozanov Stop torturing my boyfriend!
the extended support grp
Harris
@Cliff @Hayden I know I’m not a hockey player but can I join the ‘Rozanov & Hollander are going to make me quit my job’ group??
Cliff
Hahahah
Hayden
What did Rozanov do this time?
Cliff
Hey!
Cliff
How do you know it was Roz’s fault!
Hayden
Be serious right now.
Harris
@Rozanov I swear to fucking God
Troy
@Rozanov Please stop making my boyfriend work overtime.
Rozanov
What did I do this time?
Rozanov
🙄
Rozanov
Cannot do anything :(
Rozanov
I am victim here
Shane Hollander disliked Ilya Rozanov’s message ‘I am victim here’.
Harris
@Rozanov Mandatory media training for every week for the foreseeable future. Fridays 3pm. Every week.
Harris
@Rozanov And just so you’re aware posting pictures from Shane’s Calvin Klein Ad with the caption ‘Centaur fans are winning because Hollander is scoring tonight ;)’ is NOT appropriate.
Rozanov
Sorry my English no good.
Rozanov
No understand.
the extended support grp
Harris
Is it bad if I say I want to strangle Ilya?
Hayden
Absolutely not.
Cliff
Uh? Yes?
Cliff
@Hayden Stop.
Hayden
You telling me you never had murder on your mind all those years??
Cliff
No comment.
J.J
Oof hard loss @Cliff
J.J
WTF were ur team doing tonight?
J.J
No offence
Hayden
I don’t think saying no offence helps here JJ.
J.J
Sorry LOL
Sam
tbf they did play like shit
Haas
lmao @sam
J.J
Exactly! Thanks rook
Hayden
Woah!
Hayden
@Sam Have some respect, Rook??
Hayden
@Cliff you played great, bro!
Cliff
Being told our team is shit by the Metros… is this rock bottom?
Cliff
@J.J 🖕
Cliff
@Sam Watch it rook
Sam
ok boomer
Cliff
@Hayden thanks, bro❤️
Hayden
@Cliff ❤️
Hayden
Kids today! No respect for their betters.
Haas
this is truly the bromance of a generation
Dmitry
What the fuck is ‘bromance’
Dmitry
Google translate no help?
Ilya Rozanov
Dmitry
English is stupid.
Ilya Rozanov liked this message.
Dmitry
What is ‘bromance?’
centaurs + harris
Hazy
Link: HockeyNews, ‘Hollander and Rozanov tie for most goals in the season, who…’
Hazy
So glad I no longer have to defend against you guys.
Rozanov
@Shane we are tied now but watch out…
Shane Hollander disliked this message.
Rozanov
He has no come back
Rozanov
Is sad
Shane Hollander disliked this message.
Rozanov
He is just embarrassed that soon he will lose…
Rozanov
Is okay Shane I will still love second best hockey player❤️
Shane
Yeah right.
Shane
I’m going to fucking destroy you.
Shane
I’m the faster scorer, so.
Rozanov
That was years ago
Rozanov
You old now
Rozanov
Creaky bones
Shane
Shut the fuck up.
Rozanov
Is true
Rozanov
You should hear him get out of bed guys
Rozanov
Crack crack crack
Rozanov
He has old man knees
Shane
Fuck you.
Shane
Asshole.
Dmitry
Hollander and Rozanov are fighting what do we do?
Dmitry
Screenshot attached.
Hayden
Ignore them that’s them flirting
Cliff
*foreplay
Hayden
Gross.
Ilya Rozanov
Dmitry
I need help with English again.
Dmitry
What is ‘foreplay’?