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Chapter Text

Tsukasa’s crush on Akito was shallow. 

He knew that. He’d never try to deny that fact, either. It seemed ridiculous to crush on someone you’ve barely spoken to, and someone who actively tried to avoid your entire existence, but there was no changing reality. His palms got sweatier the moment Akito passed him in the hallway, his heart would race a little faster as his junior rolled his eyes in annoyance at him, it was all so utterly stupid, but he couldn’t get himself to stop feeling this way. 

Aside from what Toya had told him- which wasn’t much- he hardly knew Akito. His interest in the younger boy was purely by looks and looks alone, making him shallow and superficial. 

Tsukasa never acted on these feelings, as so much inner conflict revolved around them. To start, he didn’t even know if Akito was into other guys. He didn’t know if he himself was into other guys. Part of Tsukasa went back to trying to convince himself that his heightened redness around Akito was simply due to jealousy. After all, he was supposed to be the most handsome person of all time, whose beauty and looks got him difficult acting roles in high-standing theaters. 

More importantly, it certainly wasn’t normal. Okay; it was, but it wasn’t at the same time. 

The future star knew many same-sex couples even just in his inner circles. For example, his younger sister Saki had recently started dating one of her bandmates, Ichika. As long as they were happy together, he didn’t pay any extra attention. He didn’t see their love as “sinful” or “grotesque”, they were simply just…in love like anyone else. 

…

But was it easier for girls? Tsukasa had always wondered that. Even in friendships between women, holding hands and being overly-affectionate was fairly common. It’d be difficult to tell if a pair together like that was actually dating or just very close friends. However, if two guy friends were holding hands and being affectionate in public- they’d instantly be labeled as homosexuals. 

Tsukasa didn’t really know much about how gay men were treated. Mainly because he didn’t know any gay couples. Sure, his best friend Rui was very much openly gay and treated rather poorly, but that was Rui. He already had quite the reputation for being a ‘weirdo’ with his crazy robotic inventions and unrealistic show ideas.

Being his friend, Tsukasa didn’t believe in any of those rumors. Rui was a really nice and caring person, so Tsukasa didn’t think twice about his sexuality and how it might affect his character. 

The soft raindrops falling slowly on his head made him shiver, snapping out of his own thoughts. The wind today was merciless, freezing each cast member of WonderlandsxShowtime to death backstage before a big show debut. 

A gloomy day at Phoenix Wonderland meant that not many people were coming to the theme park, even with the promise of a new show. The future star wouldn’t let this hinder his acting and dedication to his own performance. Even with a small amount of faces in the crowd, he promised 12,000% satisfaction as a thank you to those who showed up despite the conditions. He really delivered each line with power and every dance move with poise, earning shocked reactions from his troupe members. It’s like he was purposely trying to steal the whole show, but they didn’t mind. In fact, they were thrilled to see their leader get so into such a small scale role.

Tsukasa was giving his all for his love of theater and this stage.

It totally wasn’t because Akito was in the audience. 

Watching him. Akito. Audience. Watching. Him. 

That didn’t make him get his hopes up entirely yet. Akito was never here at Wonder Stage by himself to watch, no matter how many times Tsukasa and Toya shoved fliers into his face. He was sitting beside their number one fan- Kohane- who must’ve brought him along. He looked bored and unamused, with his arms crossed, slumped back into his chair, but at least he wasn’t looking at his phone or dozing off. He was really watching Tsukasa, so he had to impress him to the best of his abilities…!

After the curtains fell, concluding their final act, Tsukasa poked his head between the velvet drapes trying to catch even the smallest word of what Akito thought of the show. Kohane was gushing like a true fangirl over each part, but what did Akito think? He stood there, trying to figure that out as his friends eyed him curiously. The future star didn’t think about how careless he was being by staring, attracting the unwanted assumptions that would soon come. 

“Tsukasa-Kun was so amazing! Did you see him during the high jump part? So amazing, so so wonderhoy! He looked like a true flying pegasus!” Emu squealed in the most animated way. 

Rui chuckled at her enthusiasm, watching her bounce up and down repeatedly. “Yes, I agree. He was absolutely wonderful today. You really can’t expect less from our leader.”

“Yeah, he was great…” Nene said softly, twiddling with her fingers as she shyly looked down at the ground. “I-I almost felt embarrassed standing next to him, like his skill level was suddenly so much higher…”

The three were quiet for a moment, simply exchanging smiles. It uncharacteristically got quieter once Emu stopped jumping around. Tsukasa was still frozen in place, trying desperately to eavesdrop on Akito all the way from the stage.

Nene was the first to speak up. “Um…Is he okay? He’s just standing there…Normally he’d be laughing and soaking up any praises like the egotistical sponge he is.” 

“It certainly is unlike him. We’re talking all about him mere inches away, and it’s like he can’t even hear us.” Rui looked Tsukasa up and down from behind, searching for any clues. 

“It’s really starting to creep me out. He’s got a dumb smile on his face too…”

Emu, unlike her friends, was not standing back to observe. She barged in, right next to Tsukasa, poking her head past the curtains beside him. “Detective Emu on the case! What has brought such a smile to Tsukasa’s face~☆?”

The girl's eyes scanned the surrounding area in mere seconds, searching for clues like a spy camera. Half-Price churros? No, they got those for free as workers. New Phenny merch coming soon at the shops? No, he wasn’t really a collector. Two people left in the audience? Some guy she’s never seen before, and WXS’s biggest fan. Tsukasa’s biggest fan.

DING DING DING!!

Tsukasa was alerted the moment Emu stepped next to him, but it was too late. Far, far too late. “Oh, Emu, wonderful show tod-”

“EEEEEEEEEE!!” Emu squealed, her ecstatic jumping returning. “Girl, girl, girl! Tsukasa was staring at a girl! Tsukasa is in love with the hammy-girl!”

“I- WHATTTTTTTTT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” 

“So loud…” Nene sighs.

Rui laughed, resting his chin on his palm. “That would certainly explain your stellar performance today. It’s so like Tsukasa-kun to go all out to impress a girl.”

“It would explain that stupid smile on your face too,” Nene huffed, crossing her arms. “Staring at her like some sort of creep.”

“Hammy-girl, Hammy-girl! Tsukasa’s got a crush on our number-one fan! He stares at her like a creepy man!” 

“BE QUIET, SHE MIGHT HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW!!” Tsukasa shouted, waving his arms up and down in flustered frustration. “ALL OF YOU, QUIT IT!! I DON’T LIKE HER, AND I DON’T STARE LIKE A CREEPY MAN!!”

“You’re the one screaming about it…” Nene muttered. 

Rui stepped forward, putting his hand on the star’s shoulders teasingly with a smirk. “Oh, there’s no denying it, Tsukasa-kun~ we all saw you locked in a trance of pure admiration.”

Rui looked out past the curtains to see for himself. Kohane there, with some guy he’s pretty sure he’d seen around school before. For him, watching Tsukasa in such a state of embarrassed panic was pretty entertaining, so he couldn’t resist teasing further, especially seeing that their number one fan wasn’t alone. Maybe it was a longshot assumption, but…

“Unless you were staring at that cute boy next to her~” 

“W-W-WHAT…!!!” Tsukasa’s entire face went as red as a tomato. Damn Rui and his perception skills, as well as his gay little brain. 

The blonde had to take a deep breath and quickly calm himself. The more he reacted, the more he would give away his true feelings to Rui. It was so embarrassingly painful; even just being teased like this, so he definitely didn’t want his friends to really find out. He had to play this up, he had to lie. 

If there was one thing he could do well, it was play a part and act as someone he’s not. 

“Ah…I suppose there’s no hiding it, then.” Tsukasa sighed loudly, playing up the dramatics. “Yes, it’s true…As a World Future Star™, it’s only natural to be interested in such a dedicated fan like Kohane, who can constantly sing me praises.”

“Ugh…Of course you like her because she benefits your massive ego.” Nene grumbles.

“YAY, YAY, YAY!!!” Emu suddenly grabbed both of Tsukasa’s hands, dragging him off the stage with stars in her eyes. “I GET TO PLAY MATCHMAKER!!” 

“E-EMU?!? HEY, WAIT-!!”

Nene turned to Rui once it was only them backstage. Emu had dragged Tsukasa over to Kohane and her friend, determined to make them the world's cutest couple right away.

“…I’m going to watch.” Was all she said, going off on her own. 

Rui was left all alone, letting out a fond chuckle. He couldn’t stop the sly smirk that came to his face, an all-to-knowing one. The redness that appeared on the actor’s cheeks when he mentioned the boy next to her was undeniable.

“I see, so that’s how it is, hmm…?”

Meanwhile, Emu had dragged an already nervous Tsukasa over to the two Vivid BAD SQUAD members. He couldn’t run now. The pink-haired girl kept him firmly next to her by holding his wrist, excitedly cutting off his circulation. “KOHANE-CHANN…!”

“Oh, Emu…!” Kohane turned to face them with Akito, smiling fondly. “What a nice surprise. We were just discussing your performance tonight. It really blew me away.”

“Ehehehe…! Wasn’t Tsukasa great?” Emu slapped Tsukasa on the back with a chipper smile, a (painful) nudge to get them flirting with one another. 

“Tsukasa wanted to talk to you.” Another slap.

“Tsukasa reaaaaallllyyy wanted to talk with you!” You get the idea. 

“O-Oh, is that so…?” The shy girl looked up at the trope leader, who was nervous, but not because of her. 

Akito stood so close, looking as unamused as ever, but he was listening. The star shook his head. Now wasn’t the time for thinking about him or trying to talk with him, as much as he desperately wanted it. His friends would catch on if he didn’t do this. He felt bad for faking something as serious as romantic feelings, praying that Kohane would get the idea and politely decline him quickly…

“Ah…It’s true…It’s all very true.” Tsukasa flipped his hair dramatically. “I simply must thank our number-one fan for appearing at all our shows. Truly, it makes my heart flutter…”

“Uh…?” Kohane tilted her head. She looked even more startled when Tsukasa got on one knee, holding her hand.

“Kohane…You’re truly the most beautiful face in every crowd…A spotlight should shine on you everywhere you walk, highlighting your every wonderful feature…”

“U-Uh…? Uh…?” 

“Hey.” 

Tsukasa’s eyes widened in surprise as Akito ripped his hand away from Kohane’s, then forced himself to stand between the two, effectively separating them and cutting off his false romantic theatrics. 

“You, me. Talk. Now.” Akito ordered, pushing past Tsukasa’s shoulder roughly. The star looked perplexed as Akito went behind one of the food stalls, clearly needing privacy. The younger boy seemed angry with him, but that didn’t stop his heart from racing. He knew life wasn’t a romance manga, but he secretly hoped Akito was some jealous blushing tsundere about to confess his love for him. 

Thankfully, Kohane and Emu stayed behind as Tsukasa met Akito behind the stall. Before he could even open his mouth, Akito angrily grabbed a fistfull of Tsukasa’s nice show jacket.

“What the hell is your problem, man?! You have about thirty seconds to explain yourself before I knock you the fuck out.”

Tsukasa froze, suddenly feeling eleven inches smaller than his junior. He hadn’t the slightest idea what he’d done to make him so angry, but it definitely wasn’t a joke or prank. Akito’s hand was clutching his clothing with no room for escape, the other balled into the fist…! He had to be careful here, but the internal panic slipped out into his voice.

“W-What? What's wrong, what’s going on…?” 

“Don’t play dumb, asshole…!” Akito hissed. “How dare you disrespect Toya in front of me! You seriously thought I wouldn’t do anything?”

“T-Toya…?” Tsukasa asked in genuine confusion. “I-I love Toya, he’s like a brother to me! I’d never-”

“Cut the crap! You just flirted with his girlfriend!” Akito gripped him tighter in fury. 

Oh. 

Oh….

The star never felt more stupid in his entire life. He should’ve known, he should’ve remembered that Kohane and Toya were a couple.

In his defense, Tsukasa hadn’t spoken with Toya much in recent times. With Saki finally able to attend Miya Girls Academy and live a normal life again, one of her first wishes was to make up for lost times while she was in the hospital, and that included spending time with Toya. He remembered now how his younger sister had squealed in excitement after hearing that Toya was dating a close friend of hers, eager to go on romantic double-dates together. 

Flirting with Kohane definitely made him look like an asshole who didn’t care about Toya. An incredibly ballsy move to make right next to his best friend, too…

…But what was he supposed to do? Tell the truth? Oh, I’m so sorry Akito, I was actually gawking at you like a lovesick puppy behind the curtains and then my friends thought I was staring at Kohane so I had to go flirt with her to avoid telling them I’m gay because it’s so embarrassing for me for some reason, by the way want to go out? 

There was no easy way out of this now. He had backed himself into a corner, all alone with nothing but his lies, unprepared to face Akito’s furious wrath. 

“I’m honestly glad you pulled such an idiotic stunt like this,” Akito interrupts his thoughts with a smug expression. “I’ve always had a bad feeling about you, and now you’ve shown me that I was right to feel that way. And Toya will know that I’m right, too…”

Tsukasa’s heart shattered. Not only did this catastrophe end with Toya getting fed these lies, but with Akito only sinking further into hatred for him. For so long he had wanted to just be on friendly, speaking terms with Akito and not be seen as a loud weirdo to him, but any chance of that now had just been tossed away. His junior was right here, confronting him face on, but Tsukasa felt like he was drifting miles away.

“Akito, please, it’s not what you think…!” Was the only thing he managed to choke out. 

He scoffed in return. “Really? Then enlighten me. What did I just witness if not you flirting with Toya’s girlfriend?”

‘Whatever you do, don’t say anything stupid. He’s seriously about to punch you.’ Tsukasa thought to himself nervously, gulping. 

“I-I, uh…! I just flirt with everyone, you know…? I could flirt with you next, if you'd like…?”

***

“…I’m home…”

“Oh, Onii-Chan! Perfect timing, I’m making a new smoothie recipe I saw online! Want to give it a try with- GAHHH!! YOUR FACE!” 

Saki nearly dropped her glass cup when she caught sight of her older brother coming through the front door of their home looking utterly depressed, with a huge purple bruise on the side of his face, almost like he had gotten into some kind of fistfight…and lost. 

The star simply flung his backpack on the ground, collapsing back into the cushiony couch with a loud, dramatic groan. “It’s terrible, isn’t it?! I look like a hideous monster…! Oh Saki, I’ll never act again…!”

His sister smiled sheepishly at Tsukasa’s overdramatics, but this was no time to tease him about it. He looked terrible, and not just because of the large bruise. “…Let me get you some ice for that. What on Earth happened to you?”

“I…I tripped down the stairs,” Tsukasa lied through his teeth. It didn’t feel good lying to his little sister, but at this point, he couldn’t even keep track of all the lies he’s told today. “…On the side of the stage.”

Saki put a few ice cubes into a plastic bag, tying the top tightly before gently pressing it to her brother’s injured cheek, letting him hold it after a few moments. 

“You tripped over a few stairs…? You must’ve landed on the concrete, then…That’s quite the bruise.” Saki thought aloud.

“Y-Yeah, it was pretty rough…” Tsukasa sighed, avoiding her gaze. He quickly shifted topics. “Is it alright if I invite Toya over for dinner tonight?” 

“Hmm? Toya?” Saki put a hand on her cheek. “Well, I don’t think mom and dad will mind, but I won’t be here. I have practice with Ichika and the girls, and then we’re going to that new diner across the street!” 

“Oh, I see…I really need to talk to him, so I’ll tell him you said hello.” Tsukasa pushed the ice against his cheek, trying to dull the stinging feeling.

Saki picked up her bag, waving goodbye with a wide smile. “Okayyy! Tell me all about it later! Oh, and I left a glass of that smoothie on the counter for you to try!” 

Tsukasa waved goodbye in return, forcing a smile. As soon as the door clicked shut, he let out a loud exhale, running his hands through his hair. He really, really did not want to do this- but there was no other option. If he let Akito tell Toya anything, that was the end of it all. Just imagining the shock and hurt that could come to Toya's face made him feel sick to his stomach. 

Thankfully, Toya responded to Tsukasa’s text messages quickly, with no idea why he was being invited over. Due to Toya’s poor relationship with his father, he was probably eager to get out of his house for a while…

Relief spread all over Tsukasa’s body, but not for long. In order to fix this mess, he would at least have to tell him the truth. It’ll be the first time he admits out loud his feelings for another guy. To that guy’s best friend and singing partner, no less. 

Toya arrived almost too quickly. The actor barely had any time to prepare himself mentally and to figure out how to go about telling him what happened. He took a few sips of that weird smoothie concoction Saki had left out for him before a soft knock on the door came. 

The cold, rainy air hit him in the face as he let Toya inside. The younger boy looked as stoic as ever- something definitely happened before he rushed over here. His expression only softened when he noticed the ice pack on Tsukasa’s cheek hiding the painful wound.

It didn’t take him long at all to figure out why he was called over to the Tenma’s. That wound on his cheek…He recognized it all too well. Akito’s temper was not one to mess with, but for what possible reason did he hit his beloved senior? Tsukasa surely hadn’t insulted his music and cowardly ran away like he did not too long ago.

“...Akito did this.” Toya stated, not even asking for confirmation. His face contorted into something scary, something Tsukasa’s never seen. 

“Y-Yes, but wait…! I deserved it, Toya! I really did!” Tsukasa suddenly ran forward, his guilt finally catching up to his brain and making him burst into tears as he hugged Toya tight. “I’M A TERRIBLE PERSONNN….! Toya, you’re so kind, such a perfect gentleman, and I ruined everything…!”

Toya slowly and hesitantly put his arms around Tsukasa, awkwardly returning the hug. He wasn’t used to much affection like this, but it also wasn’t unwelcomed. He barely hugged his own mother and father. Sometimes Akito would sling an arm around him- but that wasn’t a full hug. Even while dating Kohane, they were both extremely shy people. The most they had done was hold hands or give a small kiss on the cheek when nobody was around, but that wasn’t often. He wanted to know why Tsukasa was practically sobbing into his chest so he could comfort the future star, but thankfully that came shortly after, once he broke the hug and wiped his tears away. 

Tsukasa led Toya over to their living room couch, where he sat and listened intently to his senior’s every word. He explained the whole situation while nervously pacing back and forth, playing with his hands, waving his hands in the air as he spoke, but he didn’t leave a single detail out. Toya deserved to know everything. 

“So…Akito punched you because you were falsely flirting with my girlfriend after your friends pressured you…?” 

“Yeah…” Tsukasa rubbed his arm, avoiding eye contact. “I feel so terrible. Now all my friends think I’m in love with Kohane and I probably made her super uncomfortable, I disrespected you, and now Akito absolutely hates my guts, more than usual...”

Toya shook his head. “Don’t worry about Azusawa and I. I know now that you did not have bad intentions. I’m sure she will forgive you as well if you talk to her.”

“Thank you, Toya…!” Tsukasa exhaled in pure relief. “I-I’ll be sure to apologize to her later.”

The two found family members were quiet for a moment. They looked at each other, wondering who would bring up the elephant in the room first. Toya’s curiosity eventually won. 

“...Forgive me, I had no idea you harbored romantic feelings for Akito, Tsukasa-Senpai. I don’t see you two together a lot.” Toya said bluntly.

Tsukasa practically sulked at the observation, bringing him back to reality. Akito avoided him like the plague, and he had a shallow crush on the boy based on looks and the tiniest of tiny interactions. He didn’t want Toya to think his affection for Akito was just a mere passing fancy. 

“No no, it’s alright. Like I said, I haven’t told anyone but you about this. I haven’t even told myself. I don’t know why I feel this way, why I get so excited and red around him…It just feels so wrong.”

“...It feels wrong?”

“I-I mean…yeah,” Tsukasa rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “Did it not ever feel wrong when you and Kohane got together?”

Toya thought for a moment, bringing his hand to his chin. “...I was surprised when she asked me out, but there was never a moment where I thought it felt ‘wrong’ per se…” Toya continued after taking another pause to think, considering his words. “...I do not believe our situations are comparable, though. Azusawa and I are a heterosexual couple, which is largely considered the ‘norm.’ I don’t think those kinds of feelings can arise with us.” 

Tsukasa sulked further. Toya was right, his feelings were largely linked to the fact that he and Akito were both boys, not because of what he personally thought. The view of others was deeply important to him as a future star. If he and Akito were seen out in public together- how would it affect his future career? Would others at his school find him as weird as they found Rui? Most important to consider, what would Akito think of another guy crushing on him? Most straight men don’t take kindly to gay men hitting on them so casually…

Toya stood up, gently grabbing both of Tsukasa’s hands in a comforting gesture. He didn’t usually do such a thing, but at this moment, it felt right. He wanted desperately to help his senior, who’s always had his back…It was his turn to return the help.

“Tsukasa-Senpai, I think this feeling is largely based on the fact that you are not accepting of yourself and the way you feel.” Toya asserted. “Once you can accept yourself and be honest with Akito, the rest will fall into place. It’s true I do not know how Akito will respond to your feelings, but I can say that I do wish for you two to be together. Vivid Street is so largely accepting of those who are different- Akito and I both know so many openly gay people, and he pays them no special mind. Whatever his reaction may be, I am sure it will not be as bad as you might be imagining.” 

The star’s eyes lit up at Toya’s helpful response. Truly, he didn’t deserve someone as wonderful and caring as Toya having his back like this. He wanted to tear up and squish him in another hug, but he resisted, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. A verbal thanks ought to be enough.

“That’s…So nice to hear, thank you Toya…” He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “I can’t put into words how much that means to me. You’re right, I need to look into this feeling myself.”

Toya nodded, his lips barely forming a smile, which made Tsukasa smile brightly in return. 

“Hey, Toya…Since you’re so close with Akito, and also in a relationship…Do you have any ideas on how to get closer with him? Or maybe even ask him out?”

“Uh…” Toya suddenly turned sheepish, looking away. “The thing is…I’m not experienced in that area at all. As I mentioned before, Azusawa is the one who asked me out, not the other way around. While it’s true I know a lot about Akito, I’m afraid romance doesn’t come naturally to me.” 

Before Tsukasa could respond, Toya had a different suggestion. “What about Saki? She is also in a homosexual relationship, and might be able to help you better than I.”

The blonde’s eyes widened. Oh right, Saki…

It didn’t make any sense. She and Tsukasa were practically inseparable siblings, who rarely fought and deeply cared for one another, yet he couldn’t imagine ever telling her that he likes another guy, whether she herself was a lesbian or not didn’t matter. He felt his gut turning with anxiety at the (unrealistic) thought of Saki suddenly finding him disgusting for his interest in Akito. 

Or worse, Saki is absolutely thrilled about Akito and wants to show him 88 embarrassing photos of him as a baby to Akito. Nope, nope, nope, not happening…

“Um…I’ll think about it.” Tsukasa responded awkwardly. 

Another lie. He had no intention of telling Saki anything anytime soon, no matter how badly it hurt to lie and keep things from his sister. 

He wasn’t going to allow Toya to interject. He surely noticed Tsukasa’s hesitation and wanted to clear his mind of worries again, but no matter how many times he was coddled with ‘nobody will care, everyone will still love you!” It was so hard to be honest with even himself, let alone the people he held so closely in his life. His mind wouldn’t allow him to believe such things. 

No matter. He’d think about this later with himself, after Toya left. He decided to switch the topic quickly.

“So, Toya…Is everything alright with you? You looked pretty upset when you came in. Or was that just because you noticed my wound?”

“...” Toya sighed, his expression changing. A mixture of sadness, anger, frustration and guilt spread all over his face. “My father…” 

That was all Tsukasa needed to hear to become worried. He’d seen Toya so lifeless, so hopeless once before…He couldn’t bear to see it again. “Want to talk about it?” 

“It’s just…” Toya clenched his fists. “I’ve been coming home later recently, which has enraged him. After practices and such, I’ll take the time to walk Azusawa to her home. I want her to be safe, and I want her parents to know I am serious and will keep her out of harm’s way as her boyfriend…They’re a bit protective of her. A-Anyway, I came home on time today and he suddenly had a mouthful for me. He’s angry I hang out at Vivid Street with Akito and the others, thinking I’m up to no-good ‘delinquent activities.’” 

Tsukasa blinked in utter outrage and confusion. “Huh?! But that’s the furthest thing from who you really are, Toya! You’re a model junior! I-I mean, do they know you’ve been walking Kohane home every night? Surely they couldn’t be mad about such a noble act…!”

“...I haven’t told my parents about me and Azusawa yet. I doubt they’ll approve…They’ll surely say something like she’ll distract me from my studies and push me further away from classical music.” 

“Toya…” Tsukasa frowned. No, he had to put a smile on his face, even just for a short while…! That was the only thing he could do to help, feeling just as powerless as the boy shackled by his father’s expectations. “H-Hey, come on, my mom recently bought some fancy new coffee packets with a bunch of unique flavors. What do you say we give them a try? She said I could help myself, so you can as well.”

That seemed to work. The mention of coffee had Toya perking up, at least a little. “If that’s alright…Thank you, Tsukasa-Senpai.”

***

Aoyagi Household

***

“...Are you really going through his things?”

Toya’s Father glanced at his wife when she asked that question. He didn’t like the fact that it had come to invading his son’s privacy like this either, but there was no other way in his mind.

He unzipped Toya’s schoolbag, rummaging through the many textbooks. “...He hangs out on shady streets with those no-good friends of his. Who knows what he’s gotten into? He shouldn’t be so secretive if he didn’t want it to end up this way. I am merely concerned for his safety and well-being.”

His wife didn’t argue, simply letting out a defeated sigh before turning her attention back to the meal she was preparing in the kitchen. 

So far, nothing of interest struck Toya’s Father, which relieved him. He knew his stubborn son’s mind couldn’t be changed so easily about that idiotic noise he called ‘street music,’ but anything else that came from those streets, he simply wouldn’t allow.

Studying material…Small note cards, still unused…Some paper clips, good…

Cell Phone with the battery dead. Nice.

More papers, more notebooks…At least he was organized when it came to academics.

Toya’s Father was about to call off the search, satisfied he hadn’t found anything bad when his fingers brushed over something unfamiliar. Not the texture of paper or folders, but something soft, small, and…silky?

Just what had his son been getting into…

He pulled the small item out of the bag, his brows furrowing in confusion.

…A frilly pink hairbow? 

One with a ponytail holder attached to the bow, meant for someone with longer hair. Toya’s would never fit into something like this.

Which could only mean it belonged to someone else.

It became rapidly clear- coming home late, avoiding eye contact and conversations about those friends of his…

“Hmph…Just when I think it can’t get any more ridiculous…Devoting your time to a girl who sees you as nothing more than a delinquent…”

Chapter Text

“…I’m home.” Toya said, disappointed that he had to be. Before he stepped inside, he saw the kitchen lights on, a signal that his parents were unfortunately still awake and likely going to talk to him before bed. Given that he had just ran out to the Tenma’s after an argument, it wasn’t going to be a pretty conversation. 

“You’re home. I take it you didn’t actually go over to the Tenmas, but to your girlfriends?” His Father asked coldly.

Toya froze in place, feeling a sudden rush of anxiety. What was he talking about, not actually going over to the Tenmas? He had yet to even tell his mother and father about his relationship with Kohane, and it seemed near impossible to figure it out. Toya never brought up anything to do with Vivid BAD SQUAD, knowing it would just end in an argument. 

So how on Earth did he come up with such a conclusion? To imply that he went to see Kohane rather than Tsukasa…

“You used to be such a good child, Toya. Now all you do with this ‘musical’ group of yours is go out and cause trouble. Those friends of yours probably encourage all this lying, don’t they?”

Toya shook his head, his expression turning more stern at the mischaracterization of his friends. “No. They do no such thing. Please explain what ‘lie’ you are talking about, because I actually did go over to the Tenma's house just now. You can call and ask Tsukasa-Senpai’s parents if you’d like.”

“That won’t be necessary,” His Father sighs. “Where do I even begin with your trickery? How about keeping your little girlfriend a secret from me and your mother?”

Toya’s hands clenched into fists. “How’d you find out about Azusawa?”

Toya’s Father held up the girly hair-tie with a bow attached to it, the same one that was in Toya’s school bag. “So it is true. There is a girl. Azusawa, hmm? That’s who this belongs to?” 

The young boy was surprised to see the hair tie in his father’s hand. He was furious that his privacy was invaded without question, and that his father was smart enough to know that he was in a committed relationship just because of a silly hair accessory. 

It must’ve slipped into his bag by accident a day or so ago after practice at Weekend garage. Kohane had shown him some new hairstyles on PinIt she wanted to try for a new show, letting Toya help her…but he soon realized he was terrible with trying to perfect long hairstyles. Kohane had only giggled fondly in response, trying to help him…but it ended with the two of them messing around, sticking a bunch of silly hairclips in the other’s hair. When he removed them all and put them away in Kohane’s bag, it’s possible he put one in his own by accident…

“You went through my things? You have no right…!”

“I do. As a concerned parent. I don’t know what you’re getting into staying out later than normal. You came back home late enough after those shows, but it’s getting ridiculous now with that girl involved. You came home after midnight more than once, Toya. On a school night! Do you not realize what all of this is doing to your brain?” 

His Father held his forehead in frustration, sighing before continuing. “I hope this girl isn’t pregnant, Toya.”

“Wh…” His son blinked. “Who do you take me for?! Of all the ridiculous assumptions…! Do you even know anything about me?”

“…Obviously not, that’s why I asked.”

Toya tried his very best to keep his anger in check, knowing that lashing out would only make things worse and prolong the conversation to another day. Taking a deep breath, he hoped a calm explanation would calm his fathers worries.

“Azusawa is without a doubt the kindest person I know. She’s an honor student with a shy personality; far too shy to even kiss me or call me by my first name. Her singing voice is something that only continues to improve because she has such a strong drive to do better on the daily. Most importantly…I care for her. I care for her so much, and she makes me so very happy…that should be enough for you.” Toya glared up at his father as he finished. “Her parents are extremely overprotective. I’m meeting them in a few days, but I wanted them to think highly of me and know I am serious about their daughter, so after practices and shows I have been walking Azusawa home to ensure her safety.”

“…Hmph.” Was all that was exchanged from his father. He didn’t seem happy, but he wasn’t as angry as he was moments ago.

Toya thought he was in the clear, that he could just be excused to his bedroom for the night when his father finally spoke. “I’m afraid she’s only attracted to the version of yourself that you’ve created, not you yourself. Would this girl still like you if you returned to classical music and took your studies more seriously again?”

Of course. Of course it all had to circle back to classical music with him. Even if he tried to give his father the benefit of the doubt for being angry with secrets, it all came crumbling down with those two words. Toya’s anger returned, and he clenched his fists, storming past his father to his bedroom. He didn’t care. He didn’t care if this was going to be brought up again. Right now, he just couldn’t stand this conversation anymore. To insult him as his son, fine…! But Azusawa…? His heart wouldn’t allow it. 

He shut the door to his bedroom roughly- not quite slamming it, but his frustration was audibly there. 

So desperately, Toya wanted to sneak out of the house. After big fights like this, sometimes he’d crawl out the window and into Akito’s, spending the night with his best friend and feeling less stress. Thankfully, he’d always returned to his room on time and never been caught, but with his father on high alert right now, it definitely wouldn’t be a wise idea. It would only confirm the suspicions his father seemed to harbor at the moment. 

The ex-classical musician laid back on his bed with a defeated huff. 

He missed his girlfriend…he missed her so, so badly…

Toya wanted to sneak into her window and be comforted by her. Tell her what’s going on, be able to talk about his emotions so freely (not that Akito didn’t allow that, but it was easier with Kohane, especially now that they were dating) and have her hands on his cheeks, her way of forcing a smile on his face and cheering him up tenderly. 

That thought was also quickly dismissed too, for the same reasons. Plus, he was meeting Kohane’s parents soon. If they discovered him in her bedroom before that…It would give off a terribly wrong look. Defeated, he decided to roll over, and just get some much needed sleep already…

***

“Why…?”

Tsukasa tossed over in bed, unable to sleep. No matter how comfortable his blue and yellow star pajamas were, or how nice the clean sheets smelled, he couldn’t doze off. His anxiety had reached an all time high, replaying each and every slip up of this chaotic day over and over in his mind.

The actor clutched his pillow tightly, staring at his alarm clock. Three thirty in the morning…

He grumbled again, turning over on his back. This time, he stared at the ceiling, hoping the walls would just fall on him and take him out already.

Why, why, why, did he tell Toya he liked Akito…?!

The problem itself didn’t lie with telling Toya anything. Tsukasa knew his secret was safe, and he wouldn’t be made fun of by his junior. The issue arose because he didn’t even know how he felt about Akito. Did he really like Akito? If he answered yes, then he was having trouble pinpointing what exactly he liked about Akito besides his looks. Had he really got no other answer? His nervousness and possible attraction was all based around appearances?

(Rui would likely have all the answers for me, but I can’t tell him…Then I’ll also have to tell Nene and Emu.) Tsukasa thought, rubbing his tired eyes. 

Thinking of Rui…The way people treated him…

Not that Tsukasa was treated amazingly at school; being called a weirdo just like Rui, but Tsukasa’s witnessed the kind of torment his friend faces on a different level. People gawk and stare, classmates whisper about him being ‘attention-seeking’ or ‘gross.’

(If I…Was really gay for Akito, then would others treat me like that…? Even if we’re friends? Would I be made a social outcast…?) 

(….) 

(My…Acting career…Would it still be able to thrive under such conditions?)

(What am I thinking? I don’t know a single openly gay celebrity in all of Shibuya. I’ll never make it as a star if people found out.) 

Tsukasa quickly sat up from bed, energized from his own thoughts. He rushed to the standing mirror in the corner of his room, speaking as if confessing a crime to himself. 

“Listen to me…Trying to give up everything I’ve worked for because of some puppy-crush…My main focus should be on improving my acting and singing. Yeah…! If I think about those things, I won’t have time for potential romance.”

Turning his attention back to his lifelong goal of becoming a future star, Tsukasa decided that the best place to get back to work was in Sekai. As he pressed play on the Untitled song on his phone, he hoped he wasn’t disturbing the Vocaloids during their sleep.

Did they even sleep? Well, Luka certainly did, but he’s never really seen the others doze off unless they were next to her. One of them surely must be having the same rush of energy as him, and be available to talk. If not, he would just try again at a better time. 

Entering the bright and festive Wonderland Sekai, Tsukasa looked all around for any of his Vocaloid companions. He saw Luka, Rin, and Meiko all cuddled up in a corner with a blanket, but nobody was awake…

“Tsukasa-Kun!”

“GAH-!” The blonde instantly covered up his startled scream with his palm, not wanting to wake up the sleepy girls not too far from them. He let out a shaky exhale, relaxing when he saw it was just Len. “Oh, Len…Sorry, I didn’t know if anyone was awake at this hour.”

“Hehe, yeah, all the girls are asleep besides Miku. She went on a walk with Kaito.” Len explained with a happy nod. “I’m actually really glad you came to visit…I need your help with something.”

“My help?” Tsukasa asks curiously, putting his hand under his chin. “Sure, anything for you, Len.”

Len smiles brightly before putting on a semi-sheepish expression. “Thank you, Tsukasa-Kun~☆! I didn’t know who else to talk to…I can’t talk to Kaito about this matter, and I don’t think any of the girls would understand, not even Rin. Ideally, I would’ve been able to talk to Rui-kun, but I already went and checked his phone…He’s fast asleep too, hehe.”

“So…You wanted to talk to another guy about this issue. Why couldn’t you talk to Kaito, then?” Tsukasa asks. 

“Well…” Len suddenly folds his hands together, fiddling with them nervously. He’s never seen the virtual singer so anxious before, but he still somehow managed to look happy, too. An almost dorkish smile spread across his lips as he spoke. “It’s because…It’s about Kaito. I think I have feelings for him, real feelings…! Romantic ones!”

Tsukasa’s heart pounded against his chest as Len confessed his feelings. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was really, really bad…

The blonde twin liking Kaito wasn’t the root of the issue for Tsukasa. It was the fact that these feelings had only developed in Sekai while Tsukasa was having strange thoughts about Akito. He knew that sometimes when he and his friends went through different issues, sometimes one of the Virtual Singers would coincidentally be going through something similar and offer the teens advice. This couldn’t just be a random occurrence, this had to be Tsukasa’s emotions coming through and manifesting through Len…

But why?! This had nothing to do with music, singing, or his dreams of becoming a star. This was all just a sideplot to his main story, completely irrelevant to anything that Sekai stood for. 

“...What?” Tsukasa finally said, completely blank. He couldn’t muster up the energy to say anything else. All the energy he had gotten mere moments ago, excitedly jumping out of bed to come over in Sekai to work on music had now vanished. Instead, he felt as if he hadn’t slept for 88 days straight and was expected to listen to Len like some kind of therapist. His mind simply could not process what was going on, and the implications this left behind.

“I like Kaito! I really, really like Kaito!” Len repeated with a happy smile, putting his hands on his hips. “It took a long time to realize it…At first, I was just attracted to his looks, but who wouldn’t be, right? Kaito’s got such an awesome stage presence and style. I couldn’t help but be entranced! A-And well, we don’t talk much, but when we do, I feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside!☆”

(No way…This is…Almost exactly what I’ve said about Akito…)

(Ugh…Is that really how I sound when I talk about him? Like some obsessive fanboy?)

(I have to crush this right now. I don't want these feelings to be here.)

“Len…You want to be a performer, right?” 

The Virtual Singer looks confused by the seemingly random question, tilting his head. “Hmm? Yes, of course! So we can put happy smiles on everyone’s faces~ Why?”

“...What if that wasn’t possible?” The future star asked, his expression suddenly turning cold and serious. “To have both things; Kaito and your career?”

When Len didn’t reply, looking utterly confused, Tsukasa continued. “Look, Len…There aren’t many gay actors out there for a reason. Being in this line of work means you put the fans and your audience first. Time for a relationship while focusing on improving your craft simply does not exist. Even if it did; that’s something reserved for straight couples. Being gay in the public eye means putting yourself out there for endless harassment and even less job opportunities."

“Oh…” Len sulked, looking a bit heartbroken. He certainly wasn’t expecting this kind of response from the usually happy and chipper future star. “I-Is that really true…? People will hate me just because I like Kaito, and we’re both males…?”

The air around them got quiet and almost somewhat tense, something that was largely bizarre for the brightly colored carnival Sekai.

“I…I’m afraid so, Len. You can ask Rui later. The world isn’t kind to those who are different.” Tsukasa looked down. “I’m not intending to be cruel telling all of this to you Len, I…I’m just looking out for you, and what’s best for your future.”

“I…I guess you’re right. I mean, I have no idea how Kaito will even react, but…Shouldn’t I at least try?”

Len’s words sparked a sense of panic in Tsukasa, although he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. After everything he just warned the Vocaloid about, he still wanted to push through it all and try asking Kaito out? It made no sense. Tsukasa’s tone got firmer, trying to push Len back down. He knew this was probably taking things too far, crushing his hopes and feelings, yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

“Do you want to make a fool of yourself in front of everyone in Sekai? If you like Kaito so much, then you should want to protect your own dignity and masculinity to some extent. Straight guys don’t take kindly when gay men hit on them. If you share how you feel, you may never be his friend again. He could become disgusted with you. He could think you’re creepy with the way you watch him onstage and admire his street style clothing.”

“...Tsukasa-Kun…Um…Kaito doesn’t wear clothes like that.” Len frowned.

(Shit. I got anxious and let too much slip out. Curse me and my big mouth.)

“You know what I meant!” The actor waves him off quickly. “J-Just, quit thinking about stuff like this, Len. It has no place in Sekai.” 

The Virtual Singer frowned, looking down while clutching his chest nervously with one hand. He didn’t doubt the fact that Tsukasa was looking after him and giving him very real truths, even if delivered harshly. However, part of him couldn’t help but wonder if the future star was struggling with something similar to him. His words and mannerisms were delivered with such panic and anxiety that couldn’t be just from his own confession. He expected Tsukasa to be thrilled for him and offer him advice, not give him a long list of warnings, some of which didn’t apply to their own life in Sekai. Not to mention the weird slip-up about Kaito having ‘street style’ clothes.

It might be a longshot thought, something Tsukasa doesn’t want to talk about yet, or none of his business, but he couldn’t help but finally ask. 

“Tsukasa-Kun, is there anything you want to talk about?” 

(Dammit, Len’s read me like a newspaper. He knows something is up. I need to remember how to act unbothered by things…) 

Tsukasa clenched his fists in frustration. He didn’t like the fact that he had been subtly called out, the spotlight shifting from Len to him with just one question. He didn’t like the fact that he had to keep speaking and thinking about Akito, when he just wanted to come here and forget all about everything. For that reason, he responded in a harsh, almost cruel tone.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Len. I came here to practice but now I’m not in the mood. Goodbye.”

Before the twin singer could stop him, Tsukasa had already pressed stop on the Untitled Song again, sending him back into his bedroom. 

The sun was already starting to come up through his window, lightly illuminating his dark loft. He needed to be up and ready for school in about two hours, making any sleep attempt useless at this point. 

He sighed loudly, tossing his phone off near his backpack in the corner of his room. He didn’t want to think anymore. The topic and conversation around Akito was physically exhausting him from all the stress. 

And the future star kicked himself for feeling that way. Akito hardly knew he existed, and he was getting all stressed out about him. How pathetic. 

Regardless of emotions, he decided to push his confession to Toya and the conversation with Len to the back of his mind. He knew there would be consequences in the future for sharing every thought he had and getting mad at Len, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

All he could do now was think about tomorrow, which was rapidly approaching. Tsukasa still needed to get an apology relayed to Kohane for his behavior, and his beloved junior as well.

Kohane would be a bit trickier to handle since she attended Miya Girls Academy with Saki, and that wasn’t somewhere he could just walk up into as a guy. Emu might not have any shame sneaking into his school, but he certainly wasn’t going to go strutting into an all-girls school to talk to someone. That might only embarrass Kohane further, and put a spotlight on her at school.

He could always ask Toya to deliver a message to her or give him her number for a text-message apology, but that didn’t seem good enough either. Unfortunately, the best choice available was just to wait for her to return to the theme park, and apologize after a show.

Moving onto Akito, who he’d see at school tomorrow…

The future star had no good ideas. His junior got angry enough with him that he was willing to punch him in the face; leaving an ugly purple bruise, so a regular talking apology might not be the best route. With his feelings all already jumbled in his mind when it came to Akito, he was certain he’d flounder when actually speaking to him.

That’s when he remembered something Toya had told him about Akito a while ago in passing. The two BAD DOGS often went to various cafes and sweet shops after practice, since his singing partner had quite the sweet tooth that craved delicious pancakes and cheesecake on the daily.

(What if I baked him a cake…?) Tsukasa thought, his legs already carrying himself down to the kitchen to see if they had the necessary ingredients. 

Flour, sugar, eggs, frosting, sprinkles…Yup, they had it all at the ready. 

(Should I make it something grand? Like how those multi-layer wedding cakes look?)

(No…That’d be too difficult to carry into school. Besides, a cake of that stature might be too much for one person to handle…)

(I’ll just go with something simple. Vanilla cake, orange frosting, rainbow sprinkles. What could go wrong?)

The blonde slowly and carefully picked up the necessary supplies and pans for the cake, not wanting to wake his parents or little sister up. He didn’t know how they’d react to him randomly baking a cake before school on a Monday, but the last thing he wanted to do was explain himself again, so he committed to tip-toeing around the kitchen.

Tsukasa doubted if this sweet offering would make them best friends or even get on friendly terms, but he could dream. In his mind, he was planning multiple different ways to explain himself to Akito after handing the cake over, analyzing each word in his head for the best outcome. 

His main motivating factor to keep going despite not sleeping all night? The look on Akito’s face when he saw a whole sweet cake, just for him. He’s never really seen Akito smile before, so this was his chance to try.

He would just have to see what tomorrow brought for him. Hopefully, his junior would arrive at school tomorrow in a better mood to make it all easier.