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"Your hair has gotten pretty long now, Ai!"
They were washing themselves in the school's communal showers and Sarasa's attention had been caught by the wet hair sticking to Ai's back, the strands delicately framing her shoulder blades in that moment when a few months ago, they used to only reach the base of her neck. This sight somehow had compelled Sarasa to talk.
Ai ran her fingers through her hair, as if to check the length herself, then nodded, her expression blank.
"It looked super cute short but this is also really nice! Did something make you want to grow it long?" Sarasa just had to compliment her but also, she was really curious.
This time, Ai tilted her head and took a pensive expression before answering. The strand she'd been playing with followed the movement and clung to the side of her neck, the end of it curling up around the wet skin. Sarasa blinked and held her breath for a second.
It was something that happened often with Ai, where the simplest things she did would look right out of the kind of manga or anime that made Sarasa's heart skip a beat. She had been feeling that way about her presence since their first meeting under Kouka's cherry tree so she should have perhaps gotten used to it by now and yet, it still surprised her time and time again.
But then she also felt this fluttering inside her, the softest popping of soap bubbles through her chest, when she thought of things that had been dear to her for many years like Oscar or her grandpa and grandma. It happened with Sukeroku too of course, as well as kabuki in general, but this love was still accompanied by a painful squeeze of her heart, even now that she had started to better accept the sorrow of that lost path. If Ai were to conjure such a bubbling joy inside her for years to come, Sarasa would be more than happy about it.
"I didn't really think about letting it grow," Ai finally answered, "I guess I was too busy with school to think about cutting it. Before, I wouldn't have considered keeping it that long, or I couldn't have because of what it reminded me of but now... I think I'm able to do it."
Her eyes were staring right at Sarasa as she said this and a little smile briefly appeared on her lips. The kind of scene that would make one's heart miss a beat.
While she didn't entirely get it, Sarasa could tell how important Ai's words sounded and that she had revealed something really precious to her. It was like Ai had reached another level, one that made her look even more magical and mysterious, striking Sarasa into stillness. In fact, she could almost have believed she'd been turned into a statue if not for the noticeably loud beating of her heart resonating through her body.
By the time Sarasa had fully taken in the fluttering of Ai's eyelashes and the glow in her irises, her friend was already turning away and spreading shampoo into her hair. Sarasa got back to her senses and did the same, not wanting to find herself in trouble with the others for taking too long of their allotted time in the showers.
Rubbing shampoo until bubbles covered the top of her head, the familiar texture of her hair brought Sarasa to wonder how differently Ai's strands might feel under her fingers.
The thought was followed by a shiver and she quickly took the showerhead again to prevent goosebumps from appearing on her skin with warm water. A tingly feeling still surfaced here and there, with the droplets running down her body. Sarasa let it pass through her, almost in a daze, until shampoo threatened to slide down to her eyes and then she moved the showerhead to her hair.
Once they were done rinsing, they went in the bath to relax and Ai unexpectedly picked up the haircut topic again.
"What about you, Sarasa? Ever thought about cutting it?"
"Oh. Yeah, I did, since I'm aiming for otokoyaku..."
She had known that it'd be needed at some point, though she only started to consider it consciously after Kaoru cut hers. Even then, Sarasa hadn't thought long and hard about it; she still had a good amount of time left in school before getting to that.
Ai might have noticed some uneasiness in her voice because she stared intensely at her for a good moment but she didn't insist. The bath water was really warm that night, so Sarasa got out quickly. Only later, by the time they got back to their room, did she find the confidence to finish her line of thought. Ai had revealed a bit of herself to her in that exchange after all, so it felt fair to do the same.
"Actually, I'm a bit unsure about getting a new cut. I don't know if short hair will work out well, with the way my hair is..."
She pushed the end of her pigtails up, letting the curls bounce in her palms. The fluffy weight of them felt nice and familiar around her fingers, to the point a hint of reluctance clogged the back of Sarasa's throat at the idea of parting with it. That hairstyle had accompanied her for a long time and she still remembered her grandmother helping her tie it up that way as a kid.
"I'm sure it'll look nice," Ai answered matter of factly, like she saw no reason it could go wrong.
A little Aya popped up in Sarasa's mind, sighing about how unaware some of their prettier classmates were regarding the effortless good looks they'd been blessed with. Sarasa had noticed that Ai seemed to have a lot less trouble than her brushing her hair in the morning or after washing it like this evening but she laughed it off and said she'd sleep on the idea.
She tried to avoid glancing at Ai's cute strands as they got ready for bed but couldn't quite help it, the question of how they'd feel compared to Sarasa's own hair coming back to her. Even without having to make the comparison, she thought she would have enjoyed touching Ai's hair. That wasn't a very polite thing to ask of someone who didn't enjoy physical contact much though.
Had the positions been reversed, Sarasa wouldn't have minded at all letting Ai touch her own hair. Perhaps she should have offered it too, when talking about her doubts for a new cut, just so that Ai could really feel it for herself and would understand what she meant. That moment had passed however and it'd have been awkward to bring it up again so Sarasa put her blanket over her head to sleep. Except the thought of Ai softly caressing her hair didn't leave her head that quickly; it turned around in her mind, replaying like she kept hitting rewind on a remote-control, to watch a favorite scene again and again. Her toes curled up under the covers, too giddy to fall asleep just yet.
Sarasa woke up late the next morning and with the previous night's conversation finally out of her mind, thanks to worrying about her incoming day of school. It stayed that way until the weekend, when another classmate aiming to become an otokoyaku came back of an outing with a new haircut. Suddendly, the dilemma was put at the forefront of Sarasa's mind again and she could feel Ai's gaze on her, warming up the back of her neck.
"Maybe I'll wait until next summer for a haircut after all. That way I can do it at home, with my usual hairdresser," she commented while the two of them were in the bathroom, unsure whether she was saying it for Ai or herself.
In any case, she was clearly stalling.
Although Sarasa could be really quick and confident to immediately act in most situations, jumping right into the challenges that came her way, when an insecurity pulled her back, she sometimes froze and delayed the issue or relied on other people telling her what to do. She knew that by then but it didn't make it easier to deal with even though it felt silly, especially in a case like this that just had to do with haircuts.
One often had to take a step back and run to jump further however, Sarasa reminded herself while energetically rubbing liquid soap between her fingers, like it could wash the idea out of her mind.
"That sounds nice. I'd like to go with you again."
"To the hairdresser?! Oh wait, no, you mean at my grandpa's? Of course you can! I'd love that. We should go again for this year's summer vacation."
Laughing at her silly misunderstanding, Sarasa finally rinsed the soap off and took out her Floor Kings merch handkerchief to wipe her hands. Seeing her fave's confident face always pumped her up.
"Yeah, that's what I meant. But I wouldn't mind accompanying you to the hairdresser either."
Sarasa's hold on her handkerchief tightened a bit and the warmth of a blush prickled her cheeks. Other than Ai considering her too immature to go by herself, which was super embarrassing, Sarasa couldn't really understand what reason she'd have to want to wait on her getting a haircut.
"Wouldn't that be boring? We should be thinking about what fun activities we'll do instead. More summer festivals? Going to the movies? Shopping? Maybe the pool? Date-like stuff."
"Date-like... Right. Yeah. I'm looking forwards to it."
Ai's face had turned a good shade of pink at that, causing Sarasa's heart to miss a beat once more. Obviously, it wasn't the first time she saw her friend blush at the perspective of sharing time together and growing closer but the tone of her voice hinted at something bigger, unless Sarasa was reading too much into it. Asking for details on what kind of date Ai pictured might have given her a better idea but she also felt a bit anxious to find out the answer. Maybe some of the series about ambiguous romantic-friendships she'd read were making her overthink all this, mistaking fiction and reality.
Those shining eyes and flushed cheeks seemed to be calling up to her though, beckoning her to talk.
Before she could put her foot in her mouth however, Sarasa was interrupted, or perhaps saved, by Chika and Chiaki barging in the bathroom.
"Uh, you two were in there? What have you been doing?"
"You've been gone for a while! How long have you been here?"
The presence of the twins and their interrogations added another layer of embarrassing uneasiness to the scene. Sarasa couldn't let them wrongly interpret whatever was going on, despite not having a clear idea of it herself. They had a bit of the devious and gossipy kind of side that could turn all this into a huge misunderstanding for sure. Quickly, she blurted out a random excuse then booked it, not leaving them the time to further investigate whether she was sincere.
Sarasa only looked behind once she was far into the corridor, to see if Ai had followed after her. Thankfully, she hadn't been stopped by the twins so they both had prevented getting questioned about the innocuous yet somehow suspicious situation.
Ai caught up to her, breathing uneveny due to the sudden and unusual effort from her but with a little smile crooking her lips, like they were sharing a big secret as they ran away, even though there was nothing of the sort. At least, nothing said out loud or confessed clearly in their hearts. It felt better like this, all the fluffy fluttering while not thinking too hard about the reasons behind it or asking risky questions that could result in some form of rejection.
Feeling her chest warm up again, Sarasa thought in that moment that maybe she'd really have the courage to get this new haircut that summer, with Ai next to her. The anxiety and the wait would be worth it and perhaps she'd even be bold enough to ask her to examine the result directly.
Yes, if Ai's fingers were to comb the curly strands, sending shivers to her spine as they brushed through the back of the head and to the middle of the nape, Sarasa was sure to fall in love with her short hair.