Chapter Text
NPCs ran from flaming buildings, flailing their arms and holding their mannequin babies as Pomni heard herself laughing maniacally. It was distant, but she knew the laughter was hers. Artificial wind slapped her face as she swung through the air, trapping innocent civilian NPCs under her web.
Jax flew above her, wearing a blue spandex suit and a red cape. His eyes beamed red, and long lasers struck the tops of buildings, slicing them in half. They crumbled before Pomni’s eyes as concrete and glass toppled to the floor, crashing in the most magnificent spectacle. Rubble, ash, smoke, and anything goopy flooded the city of… what did Caine say? Well, it didn’t matter because it was utterly destroyed.
“Watch it!” a tenor male’s voice piped up from behind her.
Batman hoisted himself up behind her with a grappling hook. It was a shame he was Batman and not literally any superhero with powers. Pomni remembered there being an extra layer of irony to whoever was Batman, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She just remembered laughing at the person underneath, trying to deepen his voice into that low growl Batman usually put on.
“Guys! Guys!” Ragatha pleaded desperately, flying and swooping to catch child NPCs falling from buildings. “This isn’t the adventure!”
“What do ya mean, Raggy?” Jax asked sarcastically, his laser eyes still etching swirls into the ground and slicing buildings.
Ragatha whipped her golden lasso towards Jax. It wrapped around him in coils.
“Kick his a-boink- Ragatha!” Pomni jeered. Batman laughed behind her
“Whose side are you on?” Jax laughed before grabbing Ragatha’s lasso and striking it down.
She fell into the city and made the ground crack beneath her like a missile. The supposed villain jolted next to her, hiding his torso in his abundance of tentacles and rocking back and forth to soothe himself.
“Sh- boink – t,” said Pomni as Jax turned towards her, grinning like he already planned their payback.
Pomni flung a spider web into Jax’s face just as he flew towards them, red-eyed. He grabbed at his face, pawing like he had when trying to get the headset off. Geez, Pomni couldn’t have imagined that sweet bunny, who cried throughout his first week of the circus, could literally turn into Homelander. Wait, why did she even remember that? Pomni wasn’t even there.
Batman clung to her waist and threw a couple of bat-themed bombs at Jax. One of them landed and blew him into the side of a building. Batman laughed crazily.
“Oh f-boink-k he’s gonna get us back!” he cackled.
“Okay, that’s it!” Caine’s voice boomed from above them. That didn’t stop Pomni from swinging from building to building. “Everyone failed in this adventure, especially,” Caine clicked his fingers, and Pomni found herself frozen in the air with Batman, her limbs stone, “you three. For that, Spiderman, Superman, and Batman will not be having any of Bubble’s delicious macaroni pie.”
Bubble slid down into the middle of the city, wearing a chef’s hat and apron. “Cheesy food is only for the righteous of heart.”
“Which is why Reddit mods overdose on pizza,” said Batman with utter sincerity. Pomni chuckled.
“I have no canon knowledge on that,” continued Caine, “but I can assure you that I won’t be giving anyone powers anytime soon.”
Jax groaned performatively. “But I liked saving everybody.”
His eyes beamed through the web on his face and struck Batman in the back. “Ow!”
“Sorry, Kaufy,” he said, “I thought you were a building.”
Kaufy? As in Kaufmo? But Pomni didn’t know Kaufmo; she only knew that cartoon drawing of him with the crude X on his door. The dream became hazier until her vision was blurred with the greys of the building.
Pomni blearily blinked her eyes open to find herself staring at her red and blue ceiling. Faint images of the dream echoed in her mind, with one name bouncing inside her head: Kaufmo.