Archive of Our Own ^beta

all I want for
chrismukkaheidiwalianzaayule
is you

When they surface a second time, Chris presses his forehead to Tilly's, needing a moment to catch his breath. She lights him up, and it's not as if that's a surprise, but he wasn't ready for it all the same.

"Wow," she says, blinking up at him.

"Get a room," Erica yells, and that more or less breaks the spell.

Chris looks sheepishly over at his living area, where almost everyone's watching them, expressions ranging from fondly tolerant to frankly a bit lascivious.

(The hold out is Spock, who is instead watching Nyota with considerable interest. It's rather adorable.)

Tilly's hidden her face in his chest, but she's giggling uncontrollably, so it's not too desperate. He contemplates his neglected desserts, and decides that maybe just this once they can be slightly less than perfect.

"C'mon then," he says, "I didn't spend hours making everyone's favourites for you animals to sit there watching me kiss Tilly."

There's a ripple of laughter. "I actually thought that was the whole point of this party," Una says archly as she makes her way over. "Right, Joseph?"

Joseph chuckles and pops something into his mouth. He appears to be deeply amused. Chris looks a little closer; is Joseph eating popcorn? Where did he even get that?

Chris loves his friends, really he does, but occasionally he wonders why.

"I'm so sorry," he says quietly, looking down at Tilly; she untucks herself enough to peer up at him, cheeks flushed but eyes bright.

"I knew what I was getting myself into," she says. "Well... okay, no, I thought I might get a peck on the lips if I was lucky, but I was fully expecting to get teased into oblivion about it all the same and I was cool with that." She grins and shrugs. "This is definitely worth being teased about."

Oh, he's such a lucky man. He stares at her a moment longer, then sweeps her up into his arms and carries her back over to the seating area.

She laughs as he settles her in his lap, and they kiss again and again as everyone else helps themselves to dessert. "I could bring us a plateful over," she suggests between kisses.

"Nothing over there is better than this."

She squirms delightedly. "Sap."

"If there's a better time to be a sap-"

"I wasn't complaining!"

"Besides," he admits, "I may have ulterior motives." He pulls a face.

"What?"

He hauls her in closer, and her eyes go wide as her thigh makes contact with his erection.

Chris leans in close. "Please stay exactly where you are," he begs.

She looks at him a moment longer, then starts to cackle.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm not sure that's something you should apologise to your girlfriend for, Christopher," she manages to hiccup out between sniggers.

Tilly casually referring to herself that way makes his heart glow, and her using his full name is probably going to be the end of him.

"I can't believe I didn't realise," she says. "I didn't think you were this subtle."

"He's not," Una says, coming to perch beside them. "He's been about as subtle as a red alert."

"She has a point," Joseph adds as he makes himself at home on the couch. "We were beginning to despair of either of you being able to take a hint."

Chris rolls his eyes and Tilly goes deep pink.

Una leans in close. "You know, I bet we could convince everyone to leave-"

"No! That's fine! We're fine!" Chris is already resigned to everyone making (likely completely correct) assumptions about his plans the moment he and Tilly are alone; he doesn't need them to think he can't keep it in his pants for a couple of hours. (Even if evidence suggests he actually can't, and he's probably just set himself up for the most awkward evening he's had in a while.)

Tilly giggles, presumably (given her front row seat to this particular battle) having doubts about his sanity, and both Una and Joseph look deeply sceptical, but he smiles at them with as much dignity as he can muster, and says, "I just want everyone to have a good night."

He may well come to regret this.

Both crews are deeply invested, it turns out; Chris is trying not to think too hard about how almost the entire senior staff (and many not so senior staff) of two starships have been hoping (and occasionally conspiring) for months for him and Tilly to do something about their mutual interest before he'd even figured out it was mutual. (He doesn't want to think at all about how many people outside of this room are similarly preoccupied. The answer is very likely far too many.)

It's touching how much they all care about his and Tilly's happiness. At the same time, he could've done without knowing exactly how deep it went. (The sheer embarrassment has at least left him mostly decent, so Tilly's no longer confined to his lap, although she keeps returning to his embrace anyway, which is delightful.)

"Captain," Spock offers, when he's peeled himself away from Nyota's side for a moment, "I wanted you to know that I was in favour of simply telling you and the Lieutenant that your feelings were clearly mutual, and that the most logical solution was for you to become intimate with one another."

"Oh?" Chris asks weakly.

"I did not want you to think that I had missed the logical step; it was merely felt that logic was not an appropriate tool to use in this instance."

"Right." He tries to imagine his reaction if Spock had told him that. "They may have had a point?"

"Indeed. I am gratified that our stratagems worked and that you appear to be quite content with the outcome."

"I sort of got the impression the mistletoe was all Tilly."

"Oh, it was. We merely endeavoured to make sure Tilly was as irresistible as possible to you, rendering her shiny and captivating by means of lights and glitter."

Chris raises an eyebrow. "You make me sound like a magpie," he says.

He gets that rarest of treasures, a small Spock smile, in response. "I did indeed make a similar observation."

Chris wants to feel insulted, but somehow can't quite manage it, smiling back instead. "Well... thank you." He nudges Spock's shoulder. "It seems as if congratulations are in order for you, too."

Spock's smile actually widens, brightening his whole face, and he automatically finds Nyota with his gaze; the look he gives her is reminiscent of how Chris feels when he locks eyes with Tilly. "I am most satisfied with my current situation," he says, which by Spock standards is tantamount to saying he's ecstatic.

"I'm glad, Spock. You deserve to be happy, you and Nyota both." Chris clasps his forearm for a moment. "Your happiness is important to me."

Spock meets his eyes again. "As is yours to me, Chris."

Yeah, okay, so there are worse things in life than his beloved family being heavily invested in him being happy.

Chris could get used to having a lap full of Tilly, though admittedly it's decidedly distracting. It helps that the crew starts getting drawn away by conversations and games so he and Tilly aren't so much the centre of attention anymore; it's all coming from a very caring place, but the sooner they stop being news, the happier he will be.

He's particularly grateful for a raucous game where someone makes the rookie error of appointing Una and Pelia as team captains; Una's competitive streak clashes loudly with Pelia's disregard for rules she thinks are silly, and absolutely no one is paying attention to what he and Tilly are getting up to; they're making the most of it.

(Whoever decided that the captain's quarters should be quite so open plan? He can't decide if they're on his shit list for making sneaking away with her a non-starter, or if he's grateful his self-control has the backup.)

"You know," Tilly says, gently nibbling his earlobe, "I'm really torn between I love how much fun everyone's having and you should've taken Una up on the offer to clear your quarters."

He chuckles. "Trust me, it's an argument I'm having with myself approximately every thirty seconds."

She giggles wickedly.

He kisses and nips behind the corner of her jaw. "It'll be worth the wait," he promises, letting his voice drop to a warm, seductive rumble.

She squirms. "I'll hold you to that."

"I'm good for it."

"You know," she murmurs, her own voice sultry, "they're all really into this game, and it's kind of loud-"

"Yes?"

"And you have a bed over there."

It takes him a second to follow her meaning, then, "Sylvia Tilly!" he says, uncomfortably high-pitched. "There's no door!" He's slightly appalled to realise he's considering it. So much for his self-control.

"We could be quiet."

He laughs and buries his face in her hair. "I have absolutely no intention of you being quiet," he says, and the way she shivers in his arms is gratifying.

"I mean, just this one time." She wriggles. "I'm looking forward to you making me loud..."

He shakes his head. "How did I not know how entirely dangerous you are?"

She shrugs. "Beats me."

Thank God for Pelia and Una causing noisy chaos. He's gonna have a good long think about how tempted he is, there's a whole conversation they need to have at some point (he really didn't know this was a thing for him), but he doesn't trust himself to make wise choices. Besides... "Gonna be honest, I don't think I currently have enough blood left in my legs to walk that far."

She giggles more. "No?"

"I need you to stay exactly where you are again for a while, please." He grimaces. "Besides, if I try to stand up, I'll just fall back down."

She snorts. "And then everyone will definitely see how turned on you are."

He flushes. "A minor but important side point, yes."

"If you will wear those tight pants even when you're off duty," she points out.

"Trust me. I'm seeing the error of my ways right about now," he admits with a laugh.

"Not that I'm complaining."

"No?"

"Have you seen your ass and thighs? Slacks would be criminal on you."

He chuckles. "Well, if you're prioritising that, guess you'll have to live without the mild exhibitionism."

"I have faith in us to find other opportunities for wildly inappropriate sex."

His cheeks are hot. He's in so much trouble. "I... am not about to bet against you."

"I can't wait to tease her mercilessly about it," Jim's telling Sam when Chris approaches them. He assumes he and Tilly are the subject matter, and Jim confirms it with a wide grin and zero shame: "Hey, we were just talking about you."

Chris sighs. "I'm so looking forward to us no longer being the latest news."

They both laugh. "It's just really good to see you happy, old man," Jim says.

"Hey," says Sam, "that's my captain you're talking about!" Chris is touched right up till he continues, "I'm allowed to call him old man, you have to call him mister old man, or possibly old man, sir."

"Or maybe neither of you could call me old?" Chris suggests, more in hope than expectation.

Sam grasps his shoulder warmly. "Dream on, old man. Besides, you owe me."

"How'd you work that out?"

"I was convinced you'd give in and ask Tilly out a month ago; your self-control means I owe this jerk a whole day of my next leave."

"You bet against me?"

"No, I was betting for you, Captain. I want you to have all the good things."

Okay, so there's some logic to that. Chris really doesn't need to know how long this has been going on, though. He has a horrible suspicion Una started plotting before he even realised he was in trouble.

"Just accept it," Jim says, "you're Starfleet's OTP and everyone ships you."

"I didn't understand anything in that sentence."

"That's probably for the best."

"Awww, Dad's not up with the lingo?" Sam seems overly pleased by this.

"I don't suppose I can convince you not to call me 'Dad'?"

Jim smirks. "Not in a million years. You're Dad on the Farragut too; it's never going away."

Sam smirks even wider than Jim. "Does this make Tilly our little fleet's new stepmom?"

"Oh, God."

"No," Jim says firmly, "I've known her too long for that, it'd be weird. Besides, I'm four months older than she is."

Chris can't decide whether that makes him feel better or worse, but at least they're not about to start calling Tilly 'Mom', so he'll take the win.

"But," Sam adds, suddenly serious, "stepmom or not, if you hurt her, we will end you."

It takes Chris' brain a second to catch up with the sudden left turn. "I... okay."

"Tilly's our unofficial little sister," Jim explains, "ever since she came back to our house for Academy holidays, so, you know, it's our responsibility to administer the shovel talk. Not that we think you would-"

"-seriously, the way you look at her, it's adorable-" Sam says, smiling.

"-but just know that you better not."

They both look at him expectantly. "Uh, noted?" He tries a smile. "I have no plans to do anything except whatever makes her happy." He lowers his voice. "I really, really care about her, boys."

"Good." Sam nods. "That's all we wanted to hear."

"Okay. Great."

"We're so happy for you both," Jim says, face soft.

"Really a lot, Captain."

Chris smiles easier now. It's not like he doesn't get it; Tilly has a gift for making people love her, and that tends to translate into wanting to look after her, regardless of how smart and capable she is. God knows he feels the urge himself. He's unexpectedly touched both by their protectiveness and their trust in him.

"Let her take care of you, too, old man," Sam says, giving Chris a knowing look. "She's gonna make you actually take leave once in a while and you should definitely give in gracefully."

Chris chuckles. Taking leave sounds a lot more tempting if he gets to spend it with Tilly. "Noted."

"Welp," says Jim proudly, "one shovel talk, successfully delivered."

"Don't send Tilly after us for it," Sam adds.

"I make no promises," Chris says, mock-seriously, and they laugh.

Jim unexpectedly pulls him into a hearty hug, then Sam does too, patting his back, before they head off for refills. Chris is left blinking, slightly discombobulated by the ups and downs of that conversation.

"You okay?" Tilly says, coming up and leaning into his shoulder; he takes a deep breath of that spicy coffee scent that's surrounded her all day.

He finds her hand to tangle their fingers together and smiles down at her. "I just got caught in hurricane Kirk," he admits wryly.

Tilly giggles. "You know they both love you, right?"

He nods.

She grins. "They just love me more."

He laughs. "Am I going to have to worry about you poaching my senior staff when you make captain?"

"Me?" She gives him a look of injured innocence she surely picked up from Joseph. "I would never."

He narrows his eyes at her, but it's hard to wipe the grin off of his face. "They called me Dad," he admits. "It's cute, and also made me feel a bit ancient."

"Oh, poor baby." She looks like she's trying not to giggle at him again. "You know what they say," she adds, leaning in and lowering her voice, "you're only as old as the woman you feel." She winks; it takes a second, then Chris is snorting with laughter.

"You absolute menace," he manages, shaking his head and hugging her.

Una and Joseph corner him in the kitchen once the evening mellows out and most people are just talking quietly and laughing together in little knots. He looks around for Tilly, but she's deep in conversation with Nyota and Spock (okay, probably she and Nyota are having some good old fashioned girl-talk and Spock's gazing at Nyota like she hung the stars, based on the rest of this evening), so it looks like he's on his own.

"Do we have to say it?" Una asks.

He rolls his eyes. "The day you don't read me the riot act just because it's obvious-"

She laughs. "Don't push her away. Don't freak out 'cause it's hard sometimes. Don't fuck it up."

He finds himself smiling.

"What?"

"I just appreciate you looking out for me."

"I like her, Chris. She doesn't take you too seriously, but she really cares about you."

He laughs. "Thanks, I think."

"You need someone besides us who realises you're an idiot," she adds.

"And will tell you so," Joseph agrees.

"Gee, thanks." He takes a deep breath. "I really care about her too," he admits. "I'm a little terrified. It's easier to care less."

"But much less rewarding," Joseph points out.

"Yeah." He doesn't wanna say it aloud, scared to jinx it, but as well as being terrified, part of him is hopeful in a way he hasn't felt for a long time.

Una narrows her eyes at him. "Just... don't do what you usually do and panic."

"I'll try my best," he promises.

Joseph pulls him into a warm hug. "Be honest with yourself and with her, Christopher. I know you do not find it easy, but it will be worth it."

Chris lets himself melt into Joseph's embrace. Una's good at the tough love, and Joseph's good at making him feel like he can tackle the challenges she sets, and he's beyond grateful for them both.

"Thank you."

Joseph holds him so tight, it's as if it knits him back together, then Una wraps her arms around them both in a rare hug, and he laughs for no better reason than being very happy indeed.

They all three stand there for a moment afterward, looking at each other; some things are beyond words.

Then Una flicks his ear.

"Ow!"

"Don't fuck it up."

He pouts at her. "You're mean. But I'll try my best not to."

She grins and presses a kiss to his cheek. "Good." Her expression softens. "Go cuddle your girlfriend, Chris."

Joseph puts a hand on his back and gives him a not especially gentle shove. It's like having the universe's bossiest siblings sometimes; he loves them so much.

He goes to cuddle his girlfriend.

~ fin ~