Archive of Our Own ^beta

The child in her arms was so young, tiny and with an air of misery. Her sister’s son.

Almond cookie.

It had only been a day of being the poor thing’s legal guardian. And she knew,

She would never be able to raise him like she could.

But her sister’s dying wish was that her son live on. And Ice never broke a promise

On some level I think I always  understood 

That these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever

And I tried to do the best that I could

But try as I might I couldn't bring myself to hold you.  

Almond was raised in the ice piercer, sweeping the deck and reading every book on law he could.

He didn’t say it but Ice knew he felt guilt for his mother’s death.

And that revelation only pushed Ice further away from him.

It’s a secret I keep tucked inside my chest

With this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful

There is love that doesn't have a place to rest

But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

He was so much like her, the stern expression, the coat, the steadied stance. He was her mirror image. But he was nothing like his mother, she knew what she had to do.

On some level I think I always understood

That a ship could never really love an anchor

So I did the only thing that I could

And severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor

“I’ll write! I promise I won’t forget you aunt ice!”

“Make me proud kid.”

There was no hug, no warm embrace to show how badly she wanted him to stay where she could protect him, that she was something other than the rigid unbreakable aunt ice he knew.

But he smiled back at her, as warm as the sun, thinking back… she never saw that smile again

There are times where I still wonder about you

You are someone I have loved but never known

And you’ll never see the reasons I had

For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

The years were cruel, and the letters stopped, there was one she never had the heart to send to him. Something she kept locked in her cabinet. Something that she could never tell him

I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel

I am all the things they might have said to you

Do you ever think of me and my two hands

And wondered why they never soothed your fevers

And wondered why they never tied your shoes

And wondered why they never held you gently

And wondered why they never had the chance to lose you?

She couldn’t count the nights her strength broke and she sobbed over the fear that she’d failed her sister, but more importantly, failed almond.

It happened too often.

°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡ °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡ °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡ °‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡

The salty wind whipped her coat as they departed from a dock, the soda sea glistening in its cold expanse.

“Captain! There’s a letter for you!”

“Thank you peppermint.”

The child smiled softly and set i in her cold hands. It was from Parfaedia, the magic city. And the person who wrote it-

She opened it and scanned the neat handwriting.

“Dear Aunt Ice, 

Sorry I haven’t written in years, work has been hell.Regardless I’m hoping you could meet me at the Parfaidean port on the next moon, the one in the cherry district.

There’s someone who’s dying to meet you. 

Much love,

Your Nephew,

Almond.”

Beneath it was a seal, from the desk of the Magical Emergency Handling Commissioner.

“... chart a course change for Parfaedia men!”

“Sir yes sir captain!”

Almond sat at the port enjoying the sea breeze, he felt at home on the beach. The padding of feet sounded behind him, his daughter running over with two cones of ice cream in cups. A wide grin on her face as she plopped next to him.

“Here dad!”

"Thanks kid, you ready to meet your great aunt ice?”

“So ready!”

She took the cone out of the cup and licked it, Almond using the spoon to eat the treat, then eating the cone.

Walnut set her eyes on the horizon and pointed to a light blue blur in the distance,

“Is that the Icepiercer?”

“Yep, we just wait here kid. You’re gonna love aunt ice. She’s a lot like me.”

“Do you think she’ll like me?”

Walnut asked, tugging at his coat,

“Of course she will, you’re the smartest little cookie i know.”

“Hehe! Thanks dad!”

He pulled her into a one armed hug and smiled as they waited.

“I want everyone on their best behavior! Almond cookie is not only a protector of the fine people of this city but a former crew member. Show yourself in good lighting.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Cold eyes set on the fast approaching horizon, Ice was certain she felt the spirit of her sister smiling down on them.