Chapter Text
Inside of Wayne manor was the bedroom of Timothy Jackson Drake. In the room, on the nightstand, lay a book about a little boy following an elephant to find his sister. And finally, in between those pages, was a photo of Timothy Drake alongside the Flying Graysons safely kept in a plastic bag.
This was one of Tim’s greatest secrets.
The photo of him with the Flying Graysons was his most prized possession. Cameras can always be replaced (especially when the wallet of a Drake or a Wayne was so easily accessible), the photos taken could not be. There will never be an encore show for the Graysons and his parents will never be home for his birthday ever again. It was a mere stroke of luck that they were in town the week before.
Jack and Janet Drake loved him once. It’s true, Tim knows it’s true, it had to be. That is why, for one night and one night only, the Drakes set a day of their free time aside to spend with their beloved son. A night so clearly detailed in Tim’s mind that he could close his eyes and it was like he was pulling back the tent flap again.
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Tim remembers his parents taking him through a special entrance in the back of the tent in order to avoid the press and reporters covering the infamous Haly’s Circus opening night in Gotham. The back entrance gave him the joys of circus music and the smell of popcorn with no crowd to overwhelm him. It also meant they would see some of the performers before the show. Usually, the audience was not allowed to interact with the performers or enter this restricted area. A barrier easily broken with the wad of cash from Jack’s wallet and Janet’s charismatic way of mentioning Tim’s birthday.
See? He was loved.
Every second in that tent felt like magic to Tim. Passing by towering men on stilts and sword swallowers, people who blew fire out of their mouths like a dragon and a strong man who lifted the boulder. Blame it on his childhood innocence or rose-colored glasses but Tim knew there was no illusion between any of the performers because when they smiled at him, they meant it.
Tim thought the most exciting part of his private birthday tour was the animals. Gotham’s zoo held a good range of exotic animals, the mutated animals in the streets also varied, but none of those animals were an elephant balancing on a ball or a lion jumping through hoops. An attraction that was interrupted by his father’s ringtone. Tim felt his heart beginning to sink as he immediately answered the call.
His father walked away without a word to privately take the call and Janet, who was never fond of being left out of business details, guided Tim back to the elephant cage with a promise to return once the call finished. Before Tim could let more sorrow seep in he felt the elephant's trunk land on his shoulder as it took a big whiff. His response was instant. As he gently defended himself through his own fits of giggles while the trunk continued to dance around him with puffs of air, he heard someone else laugh behind them.
Tim turned to see another performer, one who was closer to his age than anyone else, holding a bundle of leaves. His own shyness was the only thing that could stiffen him as the elephant continued to poke at his body.
She’s just trying to see if you have any snacks on you.
The boy had a strong accent and a smile so contagious that Tim smiled back at him. Together they held the bundles of leaves and took turns feeding the elephant, unable to resist laughing because of her playful trunk.
Her name is Sitka.
Tim greeted her like a gentleman, gently shaking her trunk with a little bow and a pretend kiss on top. It made the boy laugh and Tim decided he liked making him laugh. He hoped for another opportunity to do so.
In the twenty minutes it took for his parents to finish their phone call and the Ringmaster calling everyone to get into their places, Tim’s life was permanently altered. Those twenty minutes planted a seed that would beat against his chest until it found the blinding light of Dick Grayson’s smile again.
They had introduced themselves to each other, and when Dick found out it was his birthday he offered to show his signature trick just for him. Dick leaped into the air and flipped his body four times before his feet gracefully touched the ground. He had performed this trick a countless number of times but this one was just for Tim. Dick looked up expecting the applause that always followed his talent, except there was no applause to greet him.
Tim stared at him like he jumped into the sky and realigned the stars. When the initial awe wore off and excitement spread across Tim’s face, Dick decided then and there that he wanted a little brother. He wanted a little brother that was exactly like him. Dick made sure to tell him so.
Dick’s parents were the first to show up, wanting to have a family meeting with their son before it was time for the show. They stood there with patience and open hearts as they listened to their son’s dramatic introduction for the little boy who seemed just as excited but a little more tamed. It was an endearing sight. They were surprised at Dick’s request for a little brother, he was usually possessive of the love and attention that came with being an only child. However, when they saw how Tim looked at their son with pure adoration, they too fell in love with the idea.
Tim felt like his heart was going to flutter and carry him up to the trapeze wing it was beating so fast. He didn’t know how warm joy could feel until Dick claimed him as a little brother. They posed together with Tim sitting on Dick’s knee and Dick’s parents standing happy and proud behind them.
A family photo.
Eventually it was time to say goodbye. There was a show to run afterall. Before leaving Dick pulled Tim into a hug so tight that Tim’s feet dangled from the floor and brought tears to his eyes that were quickly wiped away before Dick could see. A promise was made to see each other again after the show, and Dick Grayson never breaks a promise.
As Tim was daydreaming what his life could be like if he actually ran away with the circus his father’s firm grip on his shoulder broke him out of his dream. His parents looked happy, which was a good sign for Tim because maybe they’d extend their time at the circus to celebrate. He knew better than to interrupt his parents but he could hear music starting already. What he didn’t expect was his parents telling him to enjoy the show and that they’d send a driver to take them home. He didn’t expect them to take the first flight available to their new project, ruffling his hair and blowing him a kiss goodbye.
Tim watched as they hopped into a taxi that was already waiting for them outside. He looked at the photo in his hands, the family photo, showing him a life with different parents and an older brother who did tricks just for him. Refusing to let his parents' sudden change of plans ruin what is turning out to be the best night ever, he took a deep breath and eagerly rushed to the front row for his VIP seat.
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There was something about the crack of broken bones that made it sound so final. An audible snap that announced to the world that something was indeed broken. Even if it could be mended back together, nothing would change the fact that it broke.
And physics was a funny thing. The trapeze platform was high enough from the ground that if anyone were to fall without a net then something would surely be broken. A fall from that height would be a critical hit, but not a fatal one. The show would go on despite the performer’s broken legs and in just a few months time people would be lining up to see them return to the spotlight.
Trapeze artists, however, with the momentum from their last swing adding to their distance from the ground along with their combined weight as they tried to shield each other from the impact would close the curtains for good.
There was a moment of silence to let disbelief find its spot in the front row VIP seating before the tent filled with horrified screams and shouting. White noise that failed to make Tim’s eardrums ring like that final crack of bones did. Tim was frozen in place, skin pale as marble as the cloud of dust stole all the moisture from his mouth.
Unlike the rest of the audience, he had nowhere to go. There was no one he could turn to and the closest thing he had for company was a chauffeur who wouldn’t arrive until at least another hour. The tent cleared quickly, void of Gothamites who knew to flee at the first sight of danger before they could be another name in another tragedy.
The circus folk were the only ones who ran towards the Graysons. Half of them stayed with the parents, assessing the damage and letting denial switch places with disbelief. The second half, the one that Tim ran towards, were dedicated to holding Dick Grayson back. He fought with everything he had to break through the makeshift barricade around his parents. A valiant attempt that left the circus members with nail scratches and bruises by the end of it, but none of them flinched.
If fate were to grant any mercy that night, let it be used to shield a young boy from the sight of his parents' broken bodies.
Tim was hesitant to join them with the display of brute strength and raw emotion spewing from people who were much bigger than him. But he was a little brother now, so he needed to find a way to help. He ran out of the circus ring just as Dick broke through the blockade.
Let the boy see. Do not take another thing away from him
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Tim ran into the back of the circus tent to find someone who understood Dick better than anyone else besides his parents.
He found Sitka waiting in the wings for her cue. Tim ran up to her with teary eyes and begged her for her help, to do anything she could to help Dick Grayson make it through the night.
As an elephant, there wasn’t much she could do. All she knew at this moment was that her new friend held great sorrow in his eyes for reasons she did not know. A body too small to hold a sadness so big. She slowly lifted her trunk, wiping away the tears that finally fell from Tim’s eyes before wrapping it around him with a tight squeeze. This much she could do.
At first Tim was confused at the action. Comforting him did nothing to help Dick. And yet he felt his nerves beginning to settle enough for him to take deep breaths despite the trunk around him.
She released him from her trunk and gave a final puff of air to his ear. He thanked her, giving her a goodbye similar to their first meeting as he took her trunk in hand and gently bowed.
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Tim’s brilliant mind moved quickly with Sitka’s guidance. Dick needed someone to be there to wipe his tears, to hold him, and let him fall apart in their arms without letting him fall to the dirt. But Tim was a child before he was a genius, meaning he could think of only one thing that could provide company and endless support.
The world was a blur of color. Blue and red from the police car, red and white from the tent, and all the colors that came with a circus blended together as he ran towards the front of the tent. Tim opened the tent flaps of the makeshift gift shop and scanned the room, landing on the bin of stuffed toys. He practically jumped into it, pulling every item out but unable to find an elephant for Dick.
He began to panic. The one thing he could do to help Dick and he was failing him. Tim looked around the room again as he bit his lip before a stuffed lion caught his eye. It was a good size, it was soft, and even though its face did not hold the same tenderness as Sitka, Tim knew it’d be perfect. Lions always protected their cubs, so this lion would protect Dick.
Tim found Dick sitting in the back of an ambulance as more and more people left the circus grounds. He caught his breath, wanting to be calm and collected when he went to his brother, but he never took a step forward. It wasn’t the sight of Bruce Wayne appearing from the shadows to sit next to Dick or the grim look across Dick’s face that stopped him. It was because Dick laid his head against Bruce Wayne’s shoulder, shuffling the space blanket around his shoulders to reveal a stuffed elephant held tightly in Dick’s hands.
Oh.
Sitka had been sitting with him this entire time. A minor blessing in Tim’s mind that Dick had someone there for him, even if that someone could’ve been him. Bruce Wayne whispered into Dick’s ear and waited for the nod of approval to carry him to the car. There was nothing Tim could do as the butler returned to the driver’s seat except fiddle with the stuffed lion's tail.
All he ever did, the only thing he’s ever done, the only he’d done that night was watch from afar.
The mix of emotions twisted enough to weave a blanket that made Tim feel numb once it settled over his body. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to Tim planned to go back inside the tent and sit with Sitka. His plans were interrupted by the sound of car tires crunching gravel and the window of a driver being rolled down to greet him.
Are you Timothy Drake? Your parents sent me to pick you up, are you ready to go?
Tim looked out into the direction the Wayne’s car went before nodding. He clutched the lion to his chest and released a sigh that was too big, too grown for a birthday boy at the circus.