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Norma stared down at the papers on the kitchen table. At the big, bold Petition For Divorce stamped on the front. At the way hers and Alex’s names were already filled in. They sat, pride of place, front and centre, in the middle of the kitchen table. Bright white against the fornica table top. She dropped down onto the seat and reached for the divorce forms with shaking hands. Leafing through them, she tried to force down the distressing sobs threatening to break free. Everything had already been filled in, the only things left to do were hers and Alex’s signatures.
A strange cold washed over her and her chest felt weird. Every part of her felt weird. Her eyes stayed trained on the divorce papers, trying to figure out what she’d done. Because it was always her fault, wasn’t it? Everything was her fault. Her father had hit her because she got in the way. Caleb forced himself on her because you’re just so adorable, Norma Louise. Sam hurt her because she was too loud, too annoying, asked for too much, because she couldn’t get Norman or Dylan to be quiet when the football was on. What had she done to make Alex want to leave her?
It’s not forever.
He’d said that to her on the steps of the court house. Had he finally decided that their forever had come to end? What had she done? Was it because she’d been a little less than thrilled about him buying the big television in the living room? Surely it couldn’t be something as petty as that. Was it Rebecca? Had the redhead who she’d met at the Lights of Winter Festival persuaded Alex to leave her? Or was it because of what she’d told him about Caleb? Had the information finally sunk in and he’d realised he didn’t want her anymore?
Her head thudded down against the table top and she sucked in a deep breath, trying her hardest not to cry. She wouldn’t cry anymore over men. Even if he wasn’t just a man. He was the love of her life. And she thought she was his. She couldn’t think about this anymore. If she kept thinking about what she’d done to cause their sudden divorce she’d break. She stood up and made her way over to the living room, tears streaming down her face. She flopped down onto the sofa and grabbed the remote, putting on a spaghetti Western she knew Alex liked on the giant television he’d bought her.
Might as well appreciate it whilst it lasted.
****
Norma’s head snapped up when she heard the front door slam shut, the pictures along the wall shaking with the force. “Alex?” She whispered, leaning her head over the edge of the sofa as she turned off the television.
He stumbled in, completely uncoordinated. His eyes were glazed over and he looked very much like he had when she’d picked him up after the anniversary of his mother’s suicide, only angrier. There was anger burning in his eyes and for a slight moment she was terrified. Angry, drunk men had only ever hurt her. “What?” He barked, leaning heavily against the door frame.
“Where have you been?” She asked quietly, sitting up on her knees but keeping herself hidden behind the back of the sofa for a little bit of protection.
“Out.”
“Where?”
“Bar.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
She frowned, not liking his one word answers. Why was he snapping at her? He was the one that had left the divorce papers on their dining table. She didn’t want that, she wanted to stay married to him for as long as they both lived. She’d become so accustomed to the weight of his wedding ring on her finger, she wasn’t quite ready to give that up yet. “Because what?”
He glared at her. “You know why!”
“No, I don’t!”
He laughed mirthlessly at her. “This is just cruel, Norma!” He exclaimed, glaring down at her with a wall covering his eyes. “Stop playing the fool, you’re no idiot!”
Tears quickly filled her eyes and she bit back a whimper that threatened to expose just how hurt she was by his words. Even when he was gunning for her arrest over the Keith Summers murder, he’d never said such horrible things to her. “Why are you being like this?” She asked, pulling a pillow into her lap and fiddling with the corner. She didn’t think he’d ever be this cruel.
“Me being like this?” He shouted, throwing his hands up in the air and then letting them slap down against his thighs. “You! You are being like this! This is your fault!”
“What did I do?” She shouted, feeling very much like she was back arguing with Sam. Involuntarily, she tensed her body and for the first time since she’d married Alex, she was scared he’d hurt her. She wanted to believe he wouldn’t, but she also believed he loved her enough to stay with her — or at least talk with her if he was ever thinking about leaving. “Please, tell me!”
He groaned and tugged his hands through his hair. “God, Norma, I didn’t think you could be this cruel!” He slurred and she could see as the effects of the alcohol started taking over his body.
Fear coursed through her and she got off the sofa, suddenly feeling very boxed in. She had to get out of here. She’d spent enough time around angry, drunk men to know it would never end well for her. “Fuck you.” She snapped and grabbed her cardigan.
“Where are you going?” He asked and there was a hint of terror in his voice.
She ignored him and ran towards the front door. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Alex reach out to grab her hand and she pulled away so violently she knocked her elbow into the wall. She hissed but recovered quickly, wanting to get out of the house as soon as possible.
“Norma! We have to talk about this!”
“NO!” She screamed, whirling around in the doorway and staring at him. A small part of her was glad he took a step back and looked at least a tiny bit ashamed. “Leave me alone, Alex! You hurt me and then get shitfaced at a bar, and come back to blame it on me?! You chose to get drunk! You chose to end this!” Tears were streaming down her face and she was proud of the way she kept her voice steady. “This is your fault. Stop acting like it’s mine!” And with that she was out of the door.
She could hear him shouting after her but she ignored him. It was only when she reached the bottom of the concrete steps did she turn back to look at him. It didn’t surprise her that he wasn’t waiting at the door anymore, pleading with her to come back. The door was shut and he wasn’t even waiting at the window. A sob burst free and she hunched over on herself, dropping down onto the steps.
It was pouring rain, freezing cold drops slashing against her face like knives due to the window. Her body shook from the tears and the cold and, even though he was the cause of this, all she wanted was Alex’s arms around her, his lips against her hair as he whispered that everything would be okay. She would never get to feel that again, she would never get to feel his love again. She hid her face in her knees and sobbed, hating the way she felt completely out of her depth. She’d never felt like this over a man before. If Sam had ever left divorce papers lying around for her to find, she would’ve jumped for joy, thankful he had finally given up on her, decided she wasn’t worth it anymore. But it hurt, so so much coming from Alex. She’d thought they were forever. He was so different to the men that usually pursued her. He actually cared. He was a good man.
Or so she thought.
He hadn’t even had the courage to hand her the divorce papers. He’d just dumped them on the kitchen table and gone out to get shitfaced at a bar, come home drunk and told her it was all her fault. That she was being cruel. How could he say that when he was the one blindsiding her with this split? What the hell is wrong with him?
She stood up when the shaking of her body seemed to start rattling her bones. She had to get inside or she’d end up like a Frozen Charlotte doll. She stumbled towards the motel, completely hunched in on herself, trying to protect against the elements. She didn’t even think twice before picking up the key to room eleven. As soon as she’d tumbled inside and onto the bed, she buried her face in the pillows.
Even though she knew it wasn’t true, she swore she could still smell him in the sheets. This was the room he’d stayed in when someone had torched his house. It had been a no-brainer when she’d picked this room, wanting to be close to him if it really was the final time. Would he ever hold her again? She whimpered pitifully at the idea. A life without Alex wasn’t really a life she wanted to live anymore.
She grabbed the dover and pulled it up over her head, trying to block out the world around her and the pain of Alex leaving her.
****
The first thing Alex registered when he woke up was the pounding in his head and the fact there was no body twined around his, face tucked into his neck, blonde hair dangerously close to his mouth. He blinked one eye open, finding himself face to face with the coffee table and the television he’d bought two days ago. What the hell had happened last night?
He frowned, pushing himself up, and hung his head as some of the memories of the previous day came rushing back to him. The divorce papers he’d found in the fax machine, going to the White Horse Bar, getting drunk. Someone had given him a lift home. And that was all he remembered. “Norma?” He called, hoping she was upstairs, that they could talk this out together. “Norma?”
No answer.
He got up, swaying a little on his feet, and jogged towards the stairs. She was just upstairs right? “Norma?” He tried again, throwing the door to their bedroom open more aggressively than he intended.
Their bedroom was empty. The bed unslept in. Her pyjamas still folded on the right corner of the bed.
He swallowed down a bout of sickness — from either her disppearance or his hangover he didn’t know — and checked the other rooms in the house. They were all empty too. He made his way back downstairs, heart hammering in his chest as he tried to figure out where she was. He blinked, a very hazy memory rushing back to him of Norma storming out of the house. And then he’d fallen asleep on the sofa, too uncomfortable with sleeping in their shared bed without her. He hadn’t realised how much he loved sleeping next to someone until last night, when he’d reached over to try and find her in his sleep and was met with cold, December air.
He hoped she was down in the motel. He stumbled down the concrete stairs, just barely staying upright on his feet. It wouldn’t do to collapse and injure himself before he could even find Norma. He shook his head, trying to force down the nausea roling in his stomach, and made his way down to the motel office. “Norma?” He called, hoping to find her asleep on the sofa.
Her car was still in the parking lot, she couldn’t have gone far, could she? She wouldn’t have been silly enough to walk out in the cold. The image of her lying, blue and cold, in a ditch somewhere took root in his brain. “Baby?” His voice stuttered over the petname, unsure whether he was even allowed to call her that.
He wandered over to the computer, logging in quickly, wondering if she was asleep in one of the empty rooms. He glanced between the room keys hanging on their hooks and the motel system that told him which rooms were occupied, trying to find any kind of discrepancy. Room Eleven. Its key was missing but the computer said it wasn’t occupied. Norma must be in there. If not, he wasn’t sure how he was meant to reach her. Her phone was still on the coffee table in the living room.
Taking a deep breath, he made his way over to room eleven. There were five other unoccupied rooms, it had to mean something for her to have picked the room he used to stay in, surely? He knocked on the door and stepped back, scratching the back of his head. What was he meant to say? How was he meant to convince her to stay with him when she’d already printed out the papers? He didn’t know how he was meant to live without her? They’d only been married for two weeks, but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
He knocked again when it had been three minutes before she answered. “Norma?” He called tentatively. He heard shuffling and then a shushing and his heart dropped to the floor. She was in there alone, right? “Norma?”
She swung the door open and he couldn’t stop the stupid, lovestruck smile that spread across his face. Even though her face was swollen, eyes red and the skin around them puffy, she still looked beautiful. “What are you doing here?” She asked guardedly, but didn’t try and hide the room behind her.
He peered inside and thanked God that she was alone. “I-” He really should’ve thought about what he wanted to say to her beforehand. He blinked, seeing the anger and hurt bubbling in her eyes and was a second away from dropping to his knees and begging her to stay with him. “I love you.” He blurted, hoping to show her with his eyes how true it was.
She blinked, her hand dropping from the doorframe and the fight leaving her body. “Alex.”
“Can I come in? Or can we go back to the house?” He asked, shifting uncomfortably. This was unchartered territory for him. Normally he was the person on the other side of this, listening to someone beg him to take them back. Up until he met Norma, he never thought he would’ve tried to beg someone to stay with him. “We need to talk.”
Wordlessly, she stepped aside and dropped down on the bed.
He walked into the room and shut the door behind him, but stayed pressed up against it, terrified she’d kick him out. He looked at her, seeing that she’d slept in her clothes and her makeup was smudged from crying and sleeping in it.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered brokenly, her voice cracking. “I thought we were happy. Did I do something wrong?”
“Norma-”
“We were happy, right?” She asked, looking completely miserable. “I was happy.” She dropped her chin to her chest, shoulders shaking as she started to sob softly.
Unable to resist her sobbing form, he strode over to her, dropping down to his knees between her legs. “Norma, baby.” He cooed, gripping her wrists and pulling them away from her face. “We were happy.” He said softly, letting his forehead thud against hers.
She sniffled and laced their fingers together, squeezing weakly. “Then why did you file for divorce?” She asked with a choked sob.
He frowned, utterly confused. “I didn’t.” He said, pulling his head back when she looked up at him quickly. “I thought you did.” He let go of one of her hands and trailed his through her hair, fiddling with an errant curl. He stared at her, searching her gaze to make sure she was telling the truth. She was so easy to read, an open book, her wonderful, expressive eyes always giving away everything she was feeling. He smiled, just a small one, when he realised she was telling the truth.
“I came home and the papers were on the kitchen table.” She said, reaching out and running a finger through his hair. “How did they get there?”
He cupped her cheek and revelled in the way they were both touching each other. “I came to see if you wanted company in the office. They were coming through on the fax.” He said, voice wobbling at the memory of seeing Petition For Divorce in the big, bold letters. “I thought you’d sent them… I put them on the kitchen table.” He said, taking her hand from his hair and kissing each of her fingertips.
She stared at him for a moment before a ghost of a smile spread across her face. “You don’t want to leave me?”
“No.” He said resolutely, cupping her face and smiling encouragingly at her. “Norma, of course not. I love you so much, baby.”
“Oh.” She let out a choked laugh and collapsed into his arms, burying her head in his neck and sobbing softly. “I was so scared.”
He kissed the side of her head and moved to sit on the bed, keeping her in his arms. “It’s okay.” He said, shuffling back to sit against the headboard. “We’re okay, we’re okay. Everything’s alright, baby.” He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head where it was buried against his chest. The motion was oddly comforting, the repetitive up and down of his hand against the shirt she was wearing. He could just about make out her muttering I love you and I’m sorry over and over again against his shirt.
None of this was her fault. None of it. If he hadn’t assumed the worst, gone out and got drunk instead of talking to her, the past twelve hours could’ve been avoided. They could’ve saved each other so much pain if he’d just stayed and listened, talked. “God, no, Norma.” He said into her hair, tilting her chin up so they were face to face. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I should’ve stayed so we could talk this out.” He said, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks. “Baby, I shouldn’t’ve gone to a bar and gotten drunk.” He knew her history with men, especially those tht got drunk and violent. He never should’ve done that. “Norma, I’m so sorry for last night. The things I said-” He didn’t remember what he’d said, but he knew it would’ve hurt her feelings. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.” He said, rubbing his hands up and down her arm, eyes widening when he saw her flinch.
Her eyes widened and she blinked rapidly to clear her tears. “Alex.” She said as he pushed open the sleeve of her cardigan and saw a bruise over her elbow.
A sick feeling rolled through him at the sight of the dark stain against her skin. “Oh my God.” He whispered, sliding her off his lap and getting up from the bed. “Did I hurt you?” If he had… If he’d marked her skin in his drunken stupor he’d never forgive himself. He waited, on tenterhooks, for her answer. It felt like hours as he waited for her to answer, but it was only a few seconds.
“No, oh, hon no.” She said, getting up on her knees at the edge of the bed and reaching out for him. “You tried to grab my hand, I was storming out of the house, I pulled away and knocked into a wall.” She explained, cupping his cheeks and leaning in to kiss his cheek. “Honey, I know you would never hurt me.”
“But you jerked away from me.”
“Because I was angry. I didn’t want you to touch me. And yes, okay, I might have been a little bit scared.”
“Of me.” He deflated, swearing to himself he would make it up to her for the rest of his life. When they’d gotten married he’d vowed to himself that he would never, ever hurt her. If she never forgave him, he would understand. He’d scared her. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” He’d never drink again, he’d never touch another drop.
She shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay.” She said, leaning forward and kissing the tip of his nose. “Honey, it’s okay. I know you would never hurt me. It’s okay.”
He swallowed roughly, hating the traitorous tear that slipped down her face.
“Oh, Alex.” She cooed, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. “I forgive you. It’s okay, we’re okay.” `
He buried his face in her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her closer until she wrapped her legs around his waist. “I’m so, so sorry. I love you. I love you so so much. I never want to leave you, I will never leave you, I promise. I promise.”
“I know.” She whispered as he sat back down on the bed, keeping her close. “Me too. I love you so so much, I’m never going to leave you. Ever. I love you, hon.” She tightened her arms and legs around him and buried her face in his neck.
He kissed the side of her head and rubbed her back. They fell silent, both of them just taking the time to soak in the feeling of being in the other’s arms after their distressing night. He was beginning to think she’d fallen asleep until she mumbled something against his neck.
“Who sent them?” She repeated, lifting her face up and cupping his face. “I- Do you think it…” She trailed off, casting her eyes down and shifting uncomfortably in his lap. “He doesn’t like the fact we’re married.”
He thought about it for a second, not wanting to rush to agree too quickly. But, it was true, Norman hated him, hated him even more now that he was married to his mother. And he had access to computers in Pineview, and knew the Bates Motel had a fax machine. He really would’t put it past him. “I’m sorry, baby, but I don’t think we can rule him out.” He said, not surprised when she whimpered and tears immediately filled her eyes.
“We never even told him we got married!” She cried, tears collecting on her lower lashes.
He sighed and kissed the top of her head. “If he gets the newspaper in Pineview — they printed our photo after the Lights of Winter Festival.” He said, thinking about the newspaper article he had tucked away into the top draw of his desk back at his office.
She nodded in acceptance before she leaned her forehead against his. “What was he hoping would happen?” She asked and swiped at the tears under her eyes. “That we would just sign it and send it into the courthouse without talking to each other? That your insurance would get pulled so he could leave Pineview?”
“Well, that first one almost happened.” He chuckled, half expecting her to glare at him. Instead he was pleasantly surprised when she giggled and smacked his chest. “But I think that’s exactly what he wanted to happen. We need to talk to Dr Edwards, see if there’s anything we can do to help Norman get used to our relationship, because I’m not going anywhere. Does that sound like a good idea?”
“Yeah.” She said, smiling at him as her gaze flicked down to his lips.
He hummed and was suddenly struck with the knowledge that they still hadn’t kissed yet. The last time he’d kissed her was yesterday, before he left for work. And she hadn’t even been out of bed, or even fully awake. Had he ever gone this long without kissing her? He cupped her face and stroked one thumb along her bottom lip. “Can I?”
She nodded eagerly and kissed the pad of his thumb. “Yes please.” She begged, eyes blown wide as she parted her lips. “I love you.”
He grinned. “I love you too, baby.” He said before capturing her lips in a bruising kiss. Relief rushed through him when she immediately kissed him back, practically melting into his chest as she slung her arms around his neck. He cupped the back of her head with one hand, fingers tangling in her hair and tugging ever so slightly, the way she’d told him she liked it. He smiled against her lips when she whimpered into his mouth.
She pulled back, breathing heavily, and suddenly her hands were very busy with trying to unbutton his shirt. “Can we…” She kissed him again, short but no less heated. “Call Dr Edwards… tomorrow?” The last word came out muffled against his lips as she finally pushed his shirt off his shoulders, her hands roaming over his chest.
He slid his hand underneath the waistband of her skirt, grabbing her ass. “Yeah.” He panted out, moving his head to nip and suck at the smooth expanse of her neck. He laid back on the bed, pulling her down with him. “I love you, Norma.” He cupped her face, stroking her cheeks tenderly. “You’re my wife, til death do us part.”
She smiled down at him, her eyes going a little misty, before she captured his lips once again. “Til death do us part.”