Chapter Text
Carroll Allen McMurray was born November 30th, 1878, in the town of Killarney, in the Irish county of Kerry. Born to an obedient housewife named Bridget, and hardheaded railroad worker named Edward. Carroll’s birth was unwanted, but not unexpected. Carroll was mostly raised by his mother, since his father was busy working on the ever growing railroad network in Kerry. Carroll was quiet and polite, never wanting to start fights or arguments. Carroll’s mother, Bridget was an average Irish woman. She came from a wealthy family, but was disowned after a certain tragic event happened. She was Carroll’s main form of support and she taught him how to do many things. Read, write, talk, calculate, and do chores. But the more “manly” activities were left up to his father. Carroll’s father Edward was rarely home, constantly working for months on end, and the time he was home he would sleep and drink.
But the rare occasions Edward wasn’t drunk or sleeping, he was reluctantly teaching Carroll the importance of hard work. He taught Carroll how to repair and build things around the house, although his teaching methods were less than perfect. He often resorted to yelling, and hitting to get his point across. He often hit his wife Bridget for many reason, each reason being even more unreasonable than the last. Bridget tried fighting back, but it only resulted in harder hits and bigger bruises. Edward McMurray was an abusive and angry man. This might have due to his horrible childhood, although it certainly doesn’t excuse what he did and will do.
Carroll’s life was fine. Not great. Not bad. Well, at least that’s what he thought. But Carroll’s life would get a tad bit better in the summer of 1890. When his twin sisters, Eileen and Kathleen were born. From the moment Carroll met them, he felt an overwhelming urge to protect them. To protect them from everything evil in the world. That evil being his father. Carroll protected them, when his sister’s would do something wrong, and Edward would go to punish them, he would distract his father, placing them blame on himself rather than his sisters. Which always resulted in a severe beating. But Carroll saw this as worth it. He’d do anything to protect his sisters. Anything.
On a cold December night in 1896, Carroll woke up to screaming and yelling. Edward had just come home from the pub, he was yelling and blabbering about unknown things, wielding a hammer, he threw plates and glasses at his wife and two daughters who he had cornered in the living room. Bridget held Kathleen and Eileen close to her body, shielding their heads from the torrent of broken glass. She pleaded and begged for her husband to stop, and Kathleen and Eileen sobbed. The sounds only angered Edward. Carroll saw this happening. His family was in danger. Carroll went and grabbed his father’s shotgun. He pointed it at his father and pulled the trigger. Edward was dead. Bridget never forgave Carroll for what he did. She forced Carroll to leave. She wanted nothing to do with him. Carroll was kicked out of the house, left on the streets, with nothing but the clothes on his back. Carroll was abandoned. There was nothing left in Ireland for Carroll.
In 1899, Carroll had worked up enough money for a ticket. A ticket to the United States of America. The land of the free, and the home of the brave. He got on the boat and left Ireland. For good. The only thing he kept was his name. Carroll Allen McMurray. Carroll landed in New York harbor, after going through the various tests and procedures on Ellis Island. It took awhile to get used to New York City, he had to learn more than the basics of English, and the various strange customs in this new country. One of these customs being the occasional slur being thrown at him. “Mick” Carroll hated this word.
He wanted to kill everyone who used it. But he didn’t. He kept his anger under control. He had learned to push down all his unwanted and unnecessary emotions. Such as anger and sadness. They wouldn’t get him anywhere in life. Carroll spent most of his time sleeping in shelters, and on benches, due to the lack of jobs allowing Irish workers. “No Irish Help Needed” The job pages on the newspaper read. Eventually, Carroll landed a job as a construction worker. He built many things, but one of the things he built that he was most proud of was a new life. After saving his paychecks he managed to rent a very small apartment. It wasn’t much but it was his. His own home.
In the winter of 1899, Carroll fell from iced over scaffolding 20 feet in the air. A pile of trash bags cushioned his body, but not his head. Carroll hit his head hard on the concrete below. As he lay there nearly passing out, he heard an angelic voice. An angry and panicked voice, but angelic nonetheless. He gazed upon the orangish tan striped fur of Jeannine Walsh. Carroll then passed out, the beautiful face of the woman remaining in his mind. Jeannine Walsh aided Carroll, helping keep him alive, until he awoke in the hospital that night. As Carroll lie there in his hospital bed, Jeannine introduced herself and scolded him for his stupidity.
But Carroll wasn’t listening. He was blinded by her beauty. Feeling pity for this weirdly charming stupid young man, Jeannine took Carroll home with her. Carroll was surprised at Jeannine’s hospitality, she introduced him to her family and to avoid awkward conversations and suspicions, she claimed Carroll was her boyfriend. Jeannine or he now knew her as Nina, introduced him to her family, her father Maurice, mother Constance, and her young sister Sophie. When that night was over, Nina sent Carroll on his way, never expecting to see him again. But Carroll showed up the next day, giving Nina flowers and thanking her for her support. Nina reluctantly took this gift and shooed Carroll away. But feeling pity for him she invited him to church on Sunday. Carroll accepted and eagerly prepared. Carroll’s family was one of the few Irish families that weren’t religious. “God ain’t never did anything for me.” His father often said. So Carroll knew very little of religion. But he gladly accepted Catholicism into his heart, he didn’t want to lose Nina. He loved her.
After a few years of dating, Carroll and Nina got married in 1903. But on that same day Sophie, Nina’s sister, announced her departure from New York, to St. Louis, Missouri. She never specified why, but it was an unwelcome surprise. What was supposed to be their honeymoon was filled with Nina’s angry ramblings about how stupid her sister was to the only person who would listen. Carroll. Carroll wanted to have fun but he didn’t want to anger Nina. So he let her air out her grievances. After a year, Carroll and Nina moved into their own apartment. During this time in New York, Carroll and Nina were getting used to the married life.
Ever since the church service, Carroll had fallen head over heels in love with Nina, but Nina didn’t feel the same way. Carroll though shocked at how quickly he and Nina got married didn’t mind it. He had loved Nina with all his heart. Nina on the other hand didn’t love Carroll as much as he did. She pitied Carroll, and so she felt required to marry him due to this feeling of pity. She saw Carroll as a lost sheep and she was his Shepard. She didn’t think that Carroll would ever find love anywhere so she took it upon herself to marry him. She saw Carroll more as a close friend rather than a husband. But she did mean well, and took care of Carroll, making dinner, doing the dishes, and cleaning, all the things a wife at that time was expected.
Their life continued normally, until Nina got a letter from Sophie. Sophie announced her marriage to a man named Ransom Rickaby. Nina was furious. Despite Carroll’s pleas, Nina packed up their things and they moved to St. Charles, Missouri. Carroll hated this decision, but he didn’t want to lose Nina, so he reluctantly agreed. Carroll saw no reason to move, Sophie was a grown adult, she can make her own decisions, but he didn’t want to argue with his wife. He kept his opinion to himself, agreeing and listening to his wife’s many opinions and grievances. He never wanted to start arguments. Arguing reminded him of his parents. If he were to argue he’d be no better than his father. So Carroll refrained from arguing. Even though he had much he wanted to say. When they first arrived in St. Charles, Carroll got himself a job at a carpentry shop, despite no previous experience, he was rather skilled in carpentry. Due to his and Nina’s heritage, they often got weird looks from others, Carroll could sometimes over hear the occasional “Mick” muttered under a person’s breath. But just like before Carroll ignored it. He didn’t want to get angry.
When Nina and Carroll first met Ransom Rickaby, their now brother in law, they found themselves agreeing on something for the first time. Ransom was sketchy. Either it was his lack of religious beliefs that angered and offended Nina, or his job on the railroad that reminded Carroll of his father. They both found themselves disliking Ransom. Although Nina’s dislike for Ransom was stronger and more evident than Carroll’s. Carroll kept his opinion on Ransom private, not wanting to anger Sophie or Nina. He wanted to like Ransom, but he just couldn’t find the ability to like him. He and Ransom just weren’t meant to like each other. Carroll was a quiet, and introverted person, while Ransom was a free spirt extroverted wild card. These major different personalities didn’t clash well, and often led to outbursts on both sides. Whether it was Nina, Carroll, Ransom, or Sophie, they all knew it was best to keep their opinions to themselves, but sometimes the truth would come out.
Due to Ransom’s job working on the railroad, his presence was limited in his wife Sophie’s life. Carroll felt bad for Sophie, he knew what it was like to have someone important in your life lack a presence. So Carroll often found himself visiting the Rickaby household, talking to Sophie and fixing things for her. But his niceness and often presence at the Rickaby household raised suspicions from Ransom. Suspicion of an affair. But Ransom wasn’t the only one with the idea of an affair on his mind. Sophie did as well. It was an intrusive thought, a thought she knew she’d never act on, a thought she hated, a thought she tried to bury in the back of her mind.
A sickly sweet thought, that led to a feeling rising in her heart. Love. Love not for Ransom, but for Carroll. This feeling only got stronger the more she argued with her husband. Ransom was angry about another man being in his house while he was away, but Sophie always said that if he was home more Carroll wouldn’t have to come over. These constant arguments resulted in the idea that marrying Ransom was a poor decision. And that she’d be better off with Carroll. But despite this feeling, she still felt love for Ransom. This amalgamation of conflicting feelings, resulted in a horrible mistake. A confession that split Sophie and Carroll’s friendship in two.
After this confession Sophie buried this event and series of feelings deep inside her brain. Feelings that she thought should never be shared. Sophie forced herself to get over this and she and Ransom worked out their relationship, and after one very intimate night between the two of them, Sophie became pregnant. On December 19th, 1904 Roark Rickaby was born. The arrival of a new family member, shocked Carroll and Nina. Nina was at first furious that Sophie had gone and had a kitten with a man like Ransom, she didn’t hate Roark, but she wasn’t all that accepting of him either. Carroll on the other hand was welcoming of Roark. He used his whittling skills to make toys for Roark, but Ransom wasn’t all that happy about these gifts from Carroll.
After a while Nina had decided that the time had come. The time for her and Carroll to have a kitten. The process was awkward and exhausting, but on March 10th, 1909, Calvin Allen McMurray was born. Calvin was the best thing to ever happen to Carroll and Nina. But shortly after Calvin’s birth, Sophie had gotten gravely sick. She had contracted tuberculosis. The Red Death. Ever since Sophie was a kitten, she had always been getting sick. She had a weak immune system, and this left her open to getting sick. This was the main reason Nina hovered over Sophie for most of her life, she didn’t want to lose her sister. But now Nina’s worst nightmare had come true. Her sister was sick with something deadly. At first Sophie had seemed to get better, but as time went on she got sicker and sicker, and coupled with the stress of her husband Ransom leaving to go to work on the railroad she got even worse.
Due to his mother’s sickness and his father’s work, Roark was forced to live with Nina and Carroll. But on one faithful day, Ransom had decided to leave. Forever. Sophie was heartbroken at this, and Nina was furious. So Nina had sent Carroll to talk some sense into Ransom. Carroll confronted Ransom and after some yelling and insulting, Carroll had finally blown his stack. He punched Ransom in the jaw, knocking out some teeth. He yelled at Ransom. Carroll soon realized what he had done and saw himself no different than his father, Carroll went to help Ransom up, but Ransom responded back with a punch. He lifted Carroll up by his shirt collar and told him to get out. And that was that. Carroll drove off with Nina. Ransom then left. Abandoning his sick wife, and child. Sophie died soon after, on May 19th, 1909. Due to the absence of both parents, Roark was entrusted to Carroll and Nina. And that was how life was for them. It was just, Carroll, Nina, Roark, and Calvin. And life progressed from there. Carroll treated Roark like his own son. He taught Calvin and Roark how to repair things around the house and how to do chores. Their life was perfect.
But their simplistic life was soon turned upside down in May or 1917. The USA had officially joined the Great War, or we now know it as World War 1. In May the draft for military personnel had been extended, reaching to the ages of 30-40. And Carroll was unlucky enough to be 38 during this time. He was old, but not too old to fight. Carroll was forced to leave his family behind and go fight on the front lines in France against the invading German forces. Over in France, Carroll experienced horrors beyond his comprehension. Gunfire. Explosions. Screams. Cries. Pleas. Death. Dismemberment. War. Carroll was never the same when he was honorably discharged from service after receiving an injury to his left leg from a monstrous metal machine.
He arrived home in October of 1919, with a bum leg and memories of war. The memories of his friends, the memories of their deaths, the memories of the barren wastelands they died in. This was all too much for him. Carroll was forever scarred. Carroll had witnessed so many things, things he wanted to share, he wanted someone to talk to but he didn’t want to bother his wife. Why should she be plagued by his experiences. He went to war, so that his wife wouldn’t have to see what he saw, hear what he heard, smell what he smelled. So Carroll suffered in silence. He’d spend most of his time in the shed, whittling, doing his best to keep the memories at bay, but they always crept back into his mind. He’d silently crying himself to sleep, fearful that when he wakes up he’ll be back in the trenches. Back in hell.
Nina noticed immediately the drastic change in demeanor of her husband Carroll. he had become distant, angry, sad, and depressed. She’d sometimes wake up to him yelling and screaming in his sleep. And when she’d manage to shake him awake, she’d look him in his eyes, and he’d stare back. But instead of staring at her, he stared through her, his eyes weren’t friendly or happy, instead they were empty. Empty and yet full. Full of pain. She didn’t know what to do. She loved him, but she didn’t know how to help him.
Carroll committed suicide on June 18th, 1921. The night before Father’s Day. He locked himself in the shed in the backyard, and pointed the barrel of his shotgun to the roof of his mouth. Carroll couldn’t handle the pressure anymore. The memories had become too much, the noise had become too loud. He needed them to stop. And so he stopped them. He made it so he’d never have to remember again. He’d never have to suffer again.
It was the morning of June 19th, when Carroll’s body was discovered. Nina had woken up and waited for him to get out of the shed, thinking he was just keeping himself busy. But when he remained in the shed long after morning at come, she had Roark pick the lock on the shed door. That was where Roark and Nina discovered Carroll’s headless body. His body huddled in a corner, his cold hands gripping his shotgun. His body still dressed in his pajamas. After the discovery Nina had Roark swear to never tell Calvin what happened to Carroll. And so Nina lied to Calvin, telling him his father had a heart attack. Calvin of course believed this and cried into his mother’s chest. But this lie didn’t last long.
Calvin had soon noticed discrepancies in the fake story, and soon found out Roark knew what really happened. Calvin pestered Roark for the truth, but Roark did his best to avoid answering. But Roark soon slipped up. Calvin found out his father committed suicide. When Nina had found out that Roark had told Calvin what really happened she was livid. She felt betrayed and heartbroken. She was still dealing with the heartbreak of her husband killing himself and now she had to deal with an angry son, and traitorous nephew. She had so much on her mind. With the main bread winner of the family gone she had to try and maintain a stable income, to pay for schooling, groceries, and the utilities. So she came up with the decision that Roark could fend for himself. She kicked him out of their home and sent him to live with his father’s brother. She convinced herself that this was for the better, and that Calvin would be better off without Roark. So Roark left and it was just Calvin and Nina.