Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Amongst all the chaos that the Hummel-Anderson household gets into while trying to send each other into the world (to their respective work places exactly), one thing never changes: the hit of aroma of a perfectly brewed coffee. A perfectly customized morning brew of grounded coffee beans, with three pumps of vanilla, a tinge of quick roasted cinnamon powder, topped with heavy cream milk. Sounds a little luxurious, but the brew instantly became his elixir once Blaine brewed it for the first time. His long time favourite Non-fat Mocha was long forgotten and this brew is the only thing he can think of. 

What makes this special is that no brew of the same exact ingredients from all the coffee shops he tried comes close to Blaine’s brew. What is his magic? Maybe that he is buying the ingredients from a secret shop? Or is there any secret ingredient that he is missing?

Kurt has the gigantic luck of witnessing Blaine brew and serve him the coffee the exact way, every day. Every day, it tastes the same yet there is an unexplainable subtle change. A change that is making the coffee tastier than the day before. 

Today, Kurt decides to peek and find the exact recipe. Getting up from the bed, he goes straight to the kitchen, where Blaine is standing by the kitchen counter half dressed for his work, brewing Kurt’s coffee just like every day. Kurt goes behind Blaine, holds him by his waist and rests his chin on Blaine’s shoulder, getting the perfect view of the process. Blaine smiles and places a quick ‘good morning’ kiss on Kurt’s cheek, turning back to the brewing. The aroma of the fresh brew hits Kurt instantly and he feels mesmerized. Kurt had observed the process a few times. Kurt’s face falls into a frown, watching and learning that the process has not changed to a bit. What is he missing?

“ What are you thinking, Honey?” 

Blaine’s voice makes his day better. It is only the start of the day and it is already better. 

“ I’ve been wondering about something. Don’t get offended?”

“ No, why would I?” 

Kurt takes a deep breath, consuming the strong aroma to gather his courage to ask the million dollar question.

“ I’ve tried ordering your exact brew in every coffee shop I’ve visited. None comes close to your brew in taste and texture. What’s your secret, Mr. Husband?” Kurt tries to maintain his cool, solely trying not to offend his husband and ruin his day. 

Blaine turns the burner off, pours the roasted powder to the coffee and mixes it quickly. Kurt is patiently waiting for his answer. A sweet torture. Blaine turns to face Kurt with a smile full of love and light.

“ I will explain later,” Blaine teases.

Kurt frowns a little but he is still holding Blaine firmly with a smile.

“ Come on, Blaine. Show me some mercy, please?” 

Blaine grins at the little dramatic and sweet tone of Kurt. He lets out a chuckle. Kurt stares at him with his puppy eyes, that he has mastered from Blaine.

“ There is one thing that you can’t get from a coffee shop?” 

“ What is it?” Kurt asks curiously. Blaine chuckles again and places a quick kiss on his cheek.

“ My love for you. And the time it takes to make it.”

Sounds cheesy. Kurt can’t accept this answer. Blaine turns to the counter and brings the coffee to Kurt as if he hears Kurt’s head voice.

“ I can prove it. Take a sip.” 

Blaine pours a little coffee onto the saucer, blows to cool down a little and places it near Kurt’s lips. Kurt takes a sip reluctantly and savours it. Then Blaine holds Kurt and closes the connection between them. Kurt’s pupils dilate to a maximum, coming to a realization. A hundred sweet sparks hit Kurt and Kurt feels the enhanced flavour. The truth hit him hard. Kurt smiles sheepishly yet relieved. This is the best coffee yet.

“ I believe you,” he agrees and places a little kiss on his husband’s cheek.

Chapter Text

Blaine Hummel-Anderson is relieved that he gets to leave his work early and can rest at home for once in a long time. All the buzzing and monotonous chaos he has to endure everyday for his work has been burning him out. Don't get him wrong, he loves his job. Teaching a bunch of teenagers helping them after school, evaluating their knowledge, problem assessment and creativity, watching the kids thrive. What more can he ask for? But the school he works in is a high performance elite school. That means teachers will be crushed in a sugarcane blender until every drop of juice is out of them. It is exhausting. 

Blaine is thinking of a job change recently. It may be a bad idea as his income is atleast high and stable for now.

He has just heated the chicken stew that he made in the evening for his husband. Speaking of him, Blaine pities his position more than his. Kurt hasn't come home in three days. It is the peak time at his job and he gets it. He slipped Kurt his lunch today. Kurt has let Blaine know that his work is ending in half an hour and he will be coming home. Blaine's face melts his exhaustion down as he hears it. 

He has switched on the geyser to draw a warm bath with lemon zest, regulated the temperature in their bedroom and now heated the stew. He will be reheating the rice when Kurt comes home.

Blaine gets to see Kurt today. He misses him so much, words can't explain how. 

Blaine is now quarter way through a movie with a bowl of popcorn in his hand, when he hears the door open.

“Kurt?”

He calls. There is no response from the person or the walls. Blaine tilts his head to see a figure walking almost like a zombie with his shoulder bag. He hears the rustling of Kurt removing his scarf, his boots and his socks. Very distinct that Blaine can find it even in a massive crowd.

Kurt walks gently to the sofa set and throws his shoulder bag gently. He smiles at Blaine with all the energy he had. Blaine can't complain. He decided not to ask about anything until Kurt wants to speak except for three questions.

Kurt just plops on the couch.Blaine is sitting with his legs in criss-cross. A thud that shakes the couch dramatically for once. 

Blaine watches as Kurt drops his head on to Blaine's lap and holds it like a life line (or a comforting teddy). Blaine understands what it means. Blaine shifts a little, holding Kurt's head for a few seconds, adjusts himself to give Kurt more space and let Kurt place his head again. Kurt needs more room for his lengthy limbs. He seems to be more comfortable now. 

Kurt's face is half buried and he has prominent dark circles down his lower eyelids. Blaine ruffles through Kurt's hair which earns a comforting smile.

“Do you want to eat, baby? I was going to heat the rice up”

Kurt nods negatively. 

“Then have a bath. It will relax you more.”

Kurt nods again. Again, with all his energy. 

“Can we move to the bedroom? You'll get more space there.” 

Kurt doesn't respond. Blaine heard wheezes of air from Kurt, indicating that he's already asleep. Blaine ruffles Kurt's hair from his forehead and places a kiss on his temple.

Alright, couch stay it is.

The sound of the movie filled the room softly in the background, waiting for its end. But it doesn't bother Blaine and his world sleeping on his lap, peacefully. Blaine dares not to disturb. In fact, if this is the eternal position for him, he will stay like this forever. 

It's a dream that he can live, right?

Chapter Text

“We have to have one more design for the winter collection.”

Blaine has been hearing these statements from the dining table for the last ten minutes. Between clear and slightly muffled voices with food inside, Kurt is very busy on the phone with his work. He doesn't understand something.  Kurt is going to work anyway. Why do they want to juice his husband even now, right before work? He does get morning calls sometimes but they are crisp and on point information or conversations. 

Blaine goes around the table to pick his dishes for the dishwasher. He is almost ready for his work. His hair is gelled slightly to perfection, his shirt perfectly ironed and matched with his pants. Most importantly his cute little bowtie that always elevates his look. Everything is perfect. 

He goes in front of Kurt, kisses quickly on Kurt's cheek lest he should disturb his call and waves him bye. 

Kurt's face goes to a sudden scrunch. What's wrong? 

“Yeah, I think turquoise and violet go well with this pattern… Yes, like a winter mermaid.”

The conversation doesn't stop. Intact, it only gets intense. Non stop discussion and yet Kurt notices something.  

He balances his phone on the shoulder, gets up and stands. Blaine gives a confused look but waits until Kurt places his hands on the bowtie. The bowtie? 

Kurt straightens and corrects the position of the bowtie, pushes the little pin in the middle and presses gently to iron to the final position. Blaine’s lips bow to a smile of gratitude and he mouths a thank you. 

Kurt gives a quick kiss on his lips and taps on his shoulder. “Drive safe,” he whispers. 

“You too,” Blaine mouths back and picks his bag for the work. 

Blaine blushes through wearing his socks and shoes, scarf and his jerkin. It is cold out there, but he feels an unexplainable warmth around him. His mind goes on an auto-pilot mode, walking to the elevator and down to his car. But his mind keeps playing the little gesture, earning him to blush more. It has been happening everyday. Atleast, the days Kurt is physically present. If he's not present, Kurt will make sure that Blaine receives a ‘drive safe’ message with a heart emoji. Not just once. It happens everyday and Blaine feels so blessed.

Everyday he does that and Blaine's heart gains a wing. He can't explain but those little words form a warm shield of protection and hope around his heart. Yes, it's lucky to experience the shield everyday and to have a husband whom he loves deeply in Marina Trench. 

Chapter Text

It has been the fifth rewatch of the show as they watch today.Blaine and Kurt Hummel-Anderson will dare not admit this to the public. Although they know there are plenty of people who may be watching for the fifteenth time, this show is the only show lately that they are watching together (only together). This new hot mini series called ‘Heated Rivalry’, revolves around two NHL hockey players with a complementary plot of a New York NHL captain and a smoothie barista. If you take the talk of the show, the first thing that comes to their minds is that it's an extremely steamy show. Too many explicit intimate scenes to Kurt's liking in the first watch. But it is only on the surface level. Kurt was so surprised at the end of his first watch and it changed the whole perspective of the show.

Now on their fifth watch, both Blaine and Kurt can act out the scenes verbatim. This show is like their lil’ secret that it is reserved only for them. Blaine is resting on Kurt's lap now, with Kurt's hand interlocked with Blaine’s hand which is resting on his shoulder. They are watching episode 6 of the show, officially near to the end of their fifth rewatch. Shane, one of the main characters, is making burger patties on the grill while his love Ilya comes around and rear clasps Shane, resting his head on his shoulder, earning a little smile from Shane. 

Both Kurt and Blaine love this scene. It is just the homeliness feel of the scene after watching them going through a roller coaster ride. 

“Can you pause for a second?” 

Kurt is suddenly zoomed out of focus by these words. 

“What happened?” Kurt asks curiously with a tinge of disappointment that he has to divert his focus. 

Blaine looks up from his position, facing Kurt. 

“I need to talk about something.  It might sound silly but I think it's important to me.”

Kurt gives a quizzical look as he watches Blaine get up from his lap and sit with his leg under. There is a visible hesitation on his face and he is finding to make contact.

“What's up?” Kurt encourages. Kurt drags his hand across the couch to reach Blaine's and holds his hand gently, rubbing his knuckle with his thumb. Blaine is visibly calming down and Blaine is slowly making eye contact. 

“ I think…” Blaine tries to talk and ends up taking a big gulp. Kurt makes sure Blaine has his full attention. 

“It's okay. You can say anything.” 

Blaine finally faces Kurt, his eyes a little teary. 

“I…I might be on the Autism Spectrum.” 

A single drop of tear rolls down Blaine's eye which Kurt immediately mops off. Kurt is carefully trying to absorb what Blaine is saying. 

“Is there a reason? You know…to say?” Kurt enquires gently. He is not judging him. He was solely trying to understand.  

Blaine wipes the second drop rolling down. 

“I relate so much to Shane. I know we love Shane,” Blaine talks slowly through his whimpers, “ but lately I've been thinking about a few things.” 

Kurt nods understandingly. 

“Take your time, love. I'm here.” 

Blaine nods and tries to get himself emotionally stable for the talk. A thousand thoughts hit him, pulling him in all directions. What will Kurt think about him? Will he regret marrying him? Will it end up disappointing Kurt?

“I've been involved in the fandom lately and I've been watching all the interviews from the actors and the director. Especially Hudson's. I've been reading much of the fandom stuff too.” Blaine is afraid that Kurt is judging him strongly. But nothing as such is on Kurt's face. He seems to be affirmative. 

“You know… there are certain cues on the show that can be indicative of autism. The way Shane is portrayed,the way Shane acts, it's just…” 

Blaine chokes again. Kurt pulls Blaine into his warm embrace, giving Blaine some time. Kurt knows Blaine has been suffering mentally all through his life. They are learning to communicate with each other and working together to make this marriage work. But Kurt couldn't understand some parts of Blaine yet, to be honest. He still cannot explain. Blaine is calming down again, trying to resume. 

“I've thought about how I've been all these years and… I don't think I'm a good communicator. I've always struggled to communicate what I feel, what I need. I always think of what others think about me. I find it difficult to read other people. I am learning to read you too… but it takes effort and time.” 

Blaine is so cautious of not using the wrong words and leads his talk towards the wrong direction.  Sometimes, he feels like he projects himself rude, ending up hurting other feelings. 

“I haven't had many friends throughout my life. It was bad in my school days but after I met you, I felt an instant connection and I wanted something deep with you. Same with Sam. Well , not in a boyfriend or the lover's way, but as a friend. I try to talk casually to others but I find it difficult to hold a conversation.”

Everything seems fine from the outside for Kurt. Yeah, little miscommunication happens here and there in their marriage.  But it is normal, right? 

“It's so much for me. I just want to be understood. My feelings. But how can I expect from others when I don't understand myself? I feel exhausted at the end of the day, trying to interact and be lively with other people. Again, not with you.”

It is implied to Kurt. Kurt notices something from Blaine talking. He often explains things more than he should. 

“And yes, I can't lie to aesthetically and culturally please the society.” 

Blaine giggles a bit and Kurt reciprocates. His husband can't lie much. Kurt finds it normal in some situations to act interested and move through other people. Blaine on the other hand, sometimes he talks like he's on Verita Serum. 

“I feel awkward in many places. I feel like I'm making a fool of myself. I feel out of place almost all the time. I can only understand things when it is direct and not implied. And yes, my habits. Did you notice Shane finding it difficult to alter the recipe? Well, I do that in some tasks too. I find it difficult to alter tasks according to the situation.  I find myself repeating the same mistakes again and again. That's how I end up making excessive soda from the soda stream machine, and end up having somuch leftovers when I cook. I know you've tried to suggest to me to do certain tasks in a different, easier way. I'm sorry if it feels like I don't care for your words.I might come off as rude. Believe me, I'm not intentionally being rude. I couldn't just change myself, how much I tried.” 

“You don't have to apologise, Blaine.” Kurt’s face bears concern and sympathy. He didn't know so many things are running in Blaine’s head. 

“You know music is my hyperfixation. Just like how hockey is for Shane. I ended up signing for 23 clubs in Senior year at McKinley so I can keep myself focused and occupied. To help me with the anxiety of sudden schedule change without you here and the anxiety of losing you. And also, you might find me chewing gum almost all the time. That's for my oral hyperfixation. Oh, there are so many things that coincide with Shane’s.”

Kurt made sure that he didn't cut Blaine in his talk. This is Blaine in his completely vulnerable form. The Blaine that the world never gets to see. Kurt is lucky enough to see it. 

“I know it's silly and I might be overthinking .” 

Kurt pulls him into a firm hug, rubbing his back. Blaine smells the familiar essence of Kurt over his shoulder. “Shh… it's okay. It's not silly. Thank you for talking out to me. That means a lot.”

Blaine has recently resumed therapy. The last time he had been out of therapy was after their second break up. Kurt is in therapy too. They acknowledge that each of them have their own endeavours to deal with and it's okay to seek professional help separately. It takes a few minutes for both of them to settle their emotions to relative stability.  Blaine was almost having a breakdown. 

Kurt caresses Blaine’s cheek and Blaine leans into his comfort. 

“ Let me be honest here. I don't know much about autism. I've heard of it. I've heard of how it manifests in a child. I had no idea that it could present in the way you say.”

“Me too, Kurt. I came to the realization very recently.” 

Kurt nods in understanding.  “ With that being said, I'm proud of you for what you've gone through all these years. I'm just suggesting you talk about this to your therapist in the next session. In that way, we could be more clear and move ahead from there.” 

Blaine smiles a little like the mild sunshine after an episode of heavy rain. 

“I am not going  to invalidate your thoughts and feelings.”

Kurt holds Blaine’s face by both of his hands, making a strong reassurance.  

“Let me be clear. I'm not judging you. I'm happy that you talked to me about this and it makes sense to me. I am not disappointed in you, and I don't want you to be disappointed in you either. I have loved, am loving and will love the way you are. I don't want you to change anything for me. We will work this out together. We can discuss more about this," Kurt says, toggling his pointer finger between them, " How you feel and what I feel about it. But for now, please put your thoughts forward in the next session.”

Blaine is astounded that Kurt answered his questions like he read his mind. Blaine nods, trying to swallow his overwhelming emotions, and says a little “okay”. They close the gap between them, holding each other firmly, 

“I love you, Blaine . Never doubt that.”

“I love you too, Kurt. Gosh, I'm so lucky.” 

Kurt smirks mischievously. “Well, you can show me how lucky you are. But I would like to officially end my fifth rewatch. Are you in?” 

Blaine chuckles a bit. Kurt presses and the episode resumes. Blaine rests his head gently on Kurt's shoulder, feeling a little light headed. Blaine is indeed lucky!