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Frank watched the last bit of eyeliner wash from his eyes. The room was dark, as two of the three light bulbs around Gerard's bathroom burned out weeks ago. Frank had asked her to change them earlier, but she said you could see perfectly fine without all of the light. Maybe she thinks that way because she never leaves the basement, Frank thought. They were sure her eyes adjusted to the lack of light ever since she lived down here. They turned off the water, one hand frantically searching for the hand towel that somehow disappeared in two minutes.
"Did you close your eyes all the way? I told you it'll get into your eyes and irritate them," Gerard suggests, legs dangling off the side of her bed. The bathroom's door frame was built next to the bed, letting her watch Frank's desperate struggle. Frank groaned in frustration, eventually gripping the damp cloth. They wiped their eyes aggressively, causing Gerard to get up from her spot on the bed. Her hand landed on his shoulder, the action making Frank relax. She hummed, using her other hand to pull the towel from their eyes. "With how long you've been doing stage makeup, I'd think you'd be a professional," the taller one chirped.
Frank almost forgot they performed tonight, the stress clogging their mind. They sang and played guitar with their friends, it had became pretty popular recently. Basements were getting too close to full for the group, but that was trouble for another day. Frank picked up the habit of wearing eyeliner during shows, the habit had slowly seeped into every day though. They had been wearing eyeliner before they met Gerard, but they never had the best experience getting it off. Hence why it became normal off stage.
"You know your way around this, I don't," Frank whined, the water and eyeliner beginning to burn their eyes a bit. Gerard noticed this, quickly dragging their face back down to the makeup stained sink. She washed Frank's face, using some cleanser with a tad of makeup remover. They felt the sting wash away after a bit of gentle rubbing, letting out a sigh of relief. They pulled their face up from the sink, turning to face Gerard. Their hair was greasy, the tips of their bangs were dripping from the sink. Gerard's demeanor softened as she got a better look at their eyes, their eye bags redder than normal from the wash. "Where do you even get all of this?" Frank questioned, eyes peering at the bottles and oils that seemed to grow in collection each time they came down here.
"They always have some discount at the pharmacy down the street from school. I get whatever's on sale, works perfectly," Gerard explained, running a hand through the greasy strands of Frank's hair. They leaned into the touch, looking up at her fondly. They were tired, as they usually were after a show. Gerard's house always seemed closer to the venues, leading to them crashing with her. But she doesn't mind, it's just another excuse to cuddle another night together. "You wanna shower? Can't guarantee this one works, but the one across from Mikey's is good," she offers, the greasy residue on her fingers almost identical to her hair. Frank debated, eventually deciding against it.
"I'm good, 'can't smell worse than you," Frank teased, making Gerard tug at their hair. She turned the bathroom light off, settling in her soft Star Wars sheets. Frank followed quickly behind, plopping right next to her. After some shifting, Frank was laying on their back, Gerard's head on their chest. She loved laying like this, the way their heartbeat pulsed made her body relax significantly. It always felt nice like this, the only sound besides the couple's light breath being the air conditioning. It was a shame Frank wanted to ruin it.
They've been debating the right time to talk to Gerard about this, even if they should mention it. Frank knew Gerard, ever since they started taking they were aware of her identity. It didn't bother them, they weren't sure if anything could bother when it came to her. They were just envious, they wanted the same confidence that she had. Gerard was able to wear dresses in public, wear makeup and do stereotypical girly things. Belleville wasn't the nicest, but she didn't care. That was the point when Frank started questioning their identity, which they had never thought of before.
They're not a woman, that's for sure. Frank knew that by now, as they had already asked themself the question. But, being a guy didn't feel right either. They felt a void in that area, with everything having a so called "gender," they felt alone. No clothes felt right, no perfume felt right, nothing did. All they knew was Gerard would have some sort of answer, at the least she would help them if they started ugly crying.
"Gee? I...I have a question. Not anything bad, i'm just," Frank paused, trying to clear that tightening feeling in their throat. They felt her head shift, her chin resting on the side of their chest. She was concerned, which made Frank sputter out, "How did you know you were a girl?" They watched as her face softened as she lifted herself off of their chest. She sat beside Frank, her hand reaching for theirs.
"I realized I could be a girl when I was 15, I knew since I was little. It's a feeling, y'know? Sure, I loved playing in the dirt, talking about superheros and monsters, anyone can do that," Gerard started, her free hand moving to the flow of her words. Frank listened and watched, their eyes moving back and forth to her hand and her pink tinted cheeks. "I hated when people referred to me as a boy, though. Teachers would tell me how I was such a 'smart little boy' and it never felt right. Why couldn't I just be Gerard?" She continued, turning her head to theirs. Frank stayed silent for a moment, taking in her words along with the pretty face in front of them.
"What if someone doesn't feel...anything? Like, not as a girl or a boy?" Frank asked unclearly, their eyes downcast. Gerard smiled, thinking about the question a bit. She knew the answer, as she had studied gender expression like a madman figuring out hers. She could tell they were getting tense from the silence, causing her to bring her hand up to his cheek. Frank immediately leaned into her palm, the touch making them look back up at their lover.
"I'm pretty sure the term is non-binary. Binary is anything made up of two things, like computer binary. Y'know, those little ones and zeros," Gerard began, looking down to her lover as they stared with curiosity. She was awed by their beauty, an occurrence which happened a lot. "The stereotypical two genders are male and female, hence the whole binary thing. Non-binary is just that, being outside of the gender-binary. Existing on your own terms, at least gender wise," she stated, watching Frank's face contort in thought. She thought it was adorable, seeing them so interested, despite their usual 'i don't care' attitude.
Frank thought hard, the task being hard with how touchy Gerard was being. They hadn't cared much for gender, by the time they understood the concept they had already been occupied with music and partying. But it always felt wrong to them, having to align with something so strict in society. They just didn't care, Frank always thought there were better things to worry about that weren't making things all about being a man or woman. But hearing the term, knowing that other people share the same thoughts, it unlocked something in their brain.
"I think i'm non-binary, I guess I've felt like this for a while...just never had time to figure it out," Frank admits quietly, finally looking into Gerard's eyes. She looked at him with understanding, the warm glare so intense it made their heart melt. Of course, they knew Gerard would always be accepting, they adored each other. But just seeing her glare of acceptance, despite not a single word being shared after that, Frank couldn't hold back their tears as they rolled their body over to their lover's chest.
Frank sobbed, burying their head further into the soft cotton of Gerard's shirt. She shushed them quiet, bringing a hand to massage through their chocolate-colored hair. Their breath evened out eventually, their arms tightly secured around her stomach. They lifted their head up slightly, just enough to see her face again. She was looking out of the tiny basement window, the dark sky barely visible. They took the time to admire her, the way her greasy black hair curled on her shoulders. It was always a breathtaking sight, Frank had never felt more lucky in their life.
"I love you, Frankie. I'll love you no matter what," Gerard conveyed, her eyes never losing that twinkle. Frank wanted to cry again, feeling that familiar lump develop in their throat. They held her impossibly tighter, scooting their body up to rest their head in the crook of her neck. They left soft kisses, leaving the flesh warm to the touch. She giggled, squeezing their hips teasingly. Everything felt perfect, the room radiating with the sheer admiration they had for each other. Frank stayed curled up next to her, softly breathing onto her neck, for what felt like a wonderful eternity.
Frank had never felt so happy before. The simplicity of the moment contrasting with the heartfelt, complex emotions they had for Gerard. They knew she felt the same, Frank could feel it physically. They could swear up and down to their friends that she was magic, Gerard was as perfect as a girl can get. So for her to view them in the exact same way, it made their entire world shift. It had shifted ever since they had met, but the feeling continues to stay strong with each day. The indescribable feeling would forever make Frank feel bliss, and they were alright with that.
Maybe Belleville wouldn't be the end of them, maybe Frank had a future. They could die tomorrow, die in their sleep, and would be more than happy to have lived with Gerard's love. The warmth inside and outside of their bodies relaxed the couple, making Gerard pull a blanket over them. Frank felt Gerard fall asleep quickly, her breath evening out underneath their ear. It soothed their thoughts as they instinctively cuddled into the warmth of her and the blanket. They both had their entire lives ahead of them, so much to do together for years on end. That thought alone made Frank fall into the soft arms of slumber, leaving the room in a quiet peacefulness of soft breathing.