Archive of Our Own ^beta

Norma stared at the test on the bathroom sink, eyes boring into the plus sign. She’d taken it on a whim, not even believing she would be, but needing to at least check it out before she went to the doctors for the nausea and sickness that had consumed her over the past couple of weeks. But no. She was, apparently, pregnant. At forty, with Alex’s baby, and they hadn’t even been married a year. Did he even want children? He’d made it this far in life without a child, would he want one now? And if he did want one, would he even want one with her? She had terrible genes, and weird family members. Having a child would mean he was tied to her, a tie harder to break than marriage. Would he want that? Would he want to be saddled with her for the rest of his life?

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of that thought. Of course he would. He loved her, if he didn’t want to be stuck with her, he would’ve made sure that she knew their marriage was in name only, a marriage of convenience to help her with the insurance for Norman. If he didn’t want to be stuck with her, he never would’ve taken her out on dates, stayed with her during her recovery from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Realistically, she knew she was being silly, that she was just overthinking everything. But that was who she was, she was an overthinker.

This would be her first pregnancy with an attentive husband, one that actually cared. What would that look like? And would he definitely want a baby? She knew, was pretty damn secure in her knowledge, that he loved her, that he would never do anything to hurt her. But they’d never discussed children. What would happen when she told him? Would things change between them? What if he felt obligated to stay with her, even though he didn’t want the baby? If that was the case, would he stop being her attentive husband and start being indifferent? Like John had been, like Sam had been, at the start?

She shook her head, bile rising in her throat when she thought about Alex being anything like Sam. He wasn’t. That was the one thing she was sure of. Alex would never hurt her, would never lay a hand on her. Even if he didn’t want the baby, he would never treat her like Sam did. That she was sure of.

She let a hand drift down to her stomach, where very soon a bump would be growing. Despite all the questions and insecurities swirling around in her mind, it didn’t stop the bright smile that spread across her face. She was having Alex’s baby. She was going to have another baby and she was going to raise it right, she was going to love it and care for it. She couldn’t wait to do it all again, trying not to focus on the fact there was a tiny sliver of a chance she’d be doing it alone. She shook her head again, rubbing her belly. “I love you already, little baby.” She whispered to her still flat stomach, tears welling in her eyes. “And your Daddy will too.” I hope.

She heard the key jingle in the locks, pulling her from her thoughts, hands going still, the pregnancy test suspended in mid air. He was home early. Why was he home early? She thought she’d have a little more time to ruminate on this. Downstairs the first door opened and she dropped the pregnancy test onto the counter and raced downstairs so quickly it was a miracle she didn’t fall. She skidded to a fault in front of the door, waiting for him to walk through.

“I’m pregnant.” She blurted out as soon as he got in throught the front door, not even letting him get his usual greeting in before she dropped a bomb on him.

He stared at her, eyes uncharacteristically wide. His arms were full of grocery bags, frozen in midair.

“And- erm, it’s yours.” She stuttered, wishing the ground would just swallow her whole. Why had she just blurted it out?

“You’re- You’re pregnant?” He stammered out, still frozen in the doorway.

She bobbed her head. “Yeah.” She whispered, terror coursing through her veins. Why wasn’t he saying anything? The front door was still half open, freezing cold air filtering through the doorway, making her shiver. A part of her wanted to lunge forward and push the door shut, if only to stop him from turning around and leaving. Would she ever not be terrified he was going to leave her? “I- It’s okay if you don’t, don’t want it.” She muttered, hoping her words would bring some kind of reaction to him. Self-consciously, she wrapped her arms around her stomach when his gaze flicked down to it and he just stared. “You don’t… don’t have to stay if you don’t want it. It’s okay. I know we never… never discussed a baby, so if you don’t want it that’s-”

“We’re gonna have a baby?” He whispered, slowly shutting the door behind him.

She shifted nervously and nodded. “Yeah.”

He put the grocery bags down on the floor and walked towards her slowly. His movements scared her slightly, she’d never seen him like this. Normally, she could tell what he was feeling, but now she couldn’t, and that was terrifying.

She flinched when he reached a hand out and gently touched her stomach. “Alex.”

He looked up at her, his eyes shining with love. “My baby’s in there?” He whispered, his other hand moving to cup her face.

“Yeah.” The ghost of a smile spread across her lips. Was he happy?

He dropped to his knees and pressed a soft kiss to her belly, over the fabric of her apron. “Hi baby.” He whispered and looked up at her.

When their eyes met, the complete and utter adoration in his eyes stunned her, it made her knees buckle. “You’re happy?” She asked, kneeling down in front of him, resting her forehead against his as his hands gently skimmed down her side to rest on her hips.

“Happy?” He pulled back to look at her with his eyes open. “Happy? We’re gonna have a baby!” He exclaimed, tears welling in his eyes. “I love you.” He leant forward and pressed repeated kisses to her lips. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He repeated the words, over and over, between frenzied kisses to her lips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and took deep breaths through her nose, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Neither of her previous husbands had been this happy to find out she was pregnant. The biggest reaction she got was a dismissive grunt from Sam before he asked her when dinner was going to be ready. “I love you.” She whispered before burying her head in his neck, sobbing softly. They both sank down to sit properly on the floor, holding each other and crying gently. She was sure they looked a picture but it was a picture she sort of wanted to frame. She wanted to remember this moment forever. “Are you really happy?” She asked, pulling back and looking at him.

“Oh, baby, I’m so happy.” He said with a bright smile on his face. “Are you happy?” He asked, tucking some of her hair behind her ear.

She gnawed on her lower lip, blushing slightly when he gently pulled it from between her teeth with his thumb. “I think so.” She muttered, shuffling slightly so she could lean against him. “But I think I’m a little old to be having a baby. Both my kids are adults.”

He nodded and pressed his lips to the side of her head, just letting his lips linger there. “I love you.” He said, hooking one arm under her knees and wrapping the other around her shoulders, picking her up.

She squealed but didn’t even bother trying to protest being carried. She’d never been interested in being carried anywhere by her previous partners before, had always hated the fact they could pick her up and take her anywhere and she couldn’t struggle away from them. But ever since Alex had carried her up the stairs on their first night together, she’d loved the feeling of being picked up, of snuggling into his chest and letting him whisk her away. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sunk into his arms, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you too.” She whispered as he sat down on the sofa and kept her safe in his arms. “You promise, pinky promise, you’re really happy about this?” She asked, feeling a little childish for the pinky promise comment.

He smiled and took her hand, lacing their pinkies together. “I’m so happy, baby.” He said, bringing their joined fingers up to his lips.

She smiled happily and nuzzled her face into his neck. “That’s good.”

“I always wanted to have a baby.” He said, his voice taking on a childlike, yearning tone. “After I got divorced the first time, I never thought it would happen. I never settled down with anyone when all my buddies were having babies. When they moved out of White Pine Bay, and I got elected as Sheriff, I sort of gave up on having a wife, let alone a kid. I was too embroiled in the weed industry, had too many enemies because I was just trying to keep the peace between both sides and keep the DEA out of it. I knew there was no point even thinking about having a baby, so I just gave up, locked that part of me away in my mind and never told anyone. Then I met Rebecca and she really wanted a baby.”

Norma shifted uncomfortably, really not liking the discussions they had surrounding his former flame. She hated feeling jealous, had never really felt it in her previous relationships but with Alex… the green eyed monster raised its head whenever they spoke of Rebecca, or even passed the bank she worked at. “You didn’t want a baby with her?”

He laughed and squeezed her hip, kissing the side of her head. “I didn’t want anything with her.”

“Good answer.” She giggled, kissing his neck.

“Then I met you.” He said, tilting her head up and kissing her deeply. “And you know, maybe not at first because I was trying to arrest you.” He said with a dopey smile on his face, making her roll her eyes. “But I slowly started to believe that maybe I could have a family again.” His hand slowly slid down to rest on her stomach. “Thank you.” He said, kissing the side of her head. “Thank you for giving me a family again. I love you so fucking much.”

She nuzzled her face into his neck and covered his hand with hers, lacing their fingers together. “I- erm- I didn’t want kids.” She muttered, finally having the courage to say this. She’d never told anyone this, felt like she was tempting fate. She looked up at him and wasn’t surprised at the support she saw in his eyes. She knew he’d never judge her. “My parents weren’t great role models and I didn’t think I’d be a good parent.” She chuckled mirthlessly and felt tears bubbling in her eyes. “Turns out I wasn’t the best.”

His eyes softened and he kissed her gently. “Baby.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t try to deny it, Alex. I wasn’t the best parent to Dylan growing up and Norman… he’s in Pineview because he tried to kill me. I wasn’t a good parent.” She said, tucking her head under his chin and trying to make herself as small as possible. “But I’m gonna be better this time. I promise.”

“You are an amazing mother, Norma. What happened with Norman isn’t your fault.”

She rolled her eyes with a little pout. “It is! I- God, Alex, I should’ve seen the signs.” She buried her face between her knees and ignored all his attempts at getting her to sit up and look at him. “What if I screw this baby up? I can’t have you hate me because I screwed up your baby.” She sobbed, hating herself for making it about her, for bringing down the mood and not letting him be happy with the news. She always would find a way to ruin her happiness, she just didn’t know it would start to encroach on Alex’s. “I’m sorry.” She whispered into the space between her knees.

“You’re not gonna screw up this baby, I promise, Norma.” He said, resting his lips on the top of her head. “What happened with Norman — as horrible as it was — is in the past. This baby, our is your present and your future. You won’t screw her up.”

She lifted her head and looked at him, eyebrows raised in question. “Her?” She hadn’t even gone to the doctors yet, there was no way he would know what gender baby they were having.

“Yeah.” He grinned and let out a boyish little laugh. “Father’s intuition. It’s gonna be a babygirl and she’s going to be a mini-you. And I’m going to spoil you both rotten.” He said, his eyes twinkling in excitement.

She laughed and pulled him into a kiss. “I would tell you I want a little boy to be a mini-you. But I’ve raised two boys, I want a little girl. Tea parties and ballet and teaching her to play the piano.” She smiled wistfully and rubbed her stomach before a giggle burst free. “There’s gonna be so much pink in here.”

He smiled and squeezed her in his arms. “I can deal with pink.”

“And glitter? It’s gonna be everywhere.”

He huffed, like it was the hardest decision of his life before a bright smile spread across his face. “I can deal with glitter.”

Norma beamed, pulling him into a deep kiss. “You’re gonna be such a great dad.”

“You’re gonna be such a great mom, our kid’s gonna be so lucky.”

“Damn right they are.”