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To say the city remained in chaos since the burning of City Hall would be a grave understatement. Pretty much all trust in the mayor and police force had crumbled, only worsened after the printing press fire. Power struggles were breaking out in each department, with each new hotshot hoping to build themselves up enough to have a fighting chance at election time. This meant each new inter-department meeting had turned into the weirdest game of chess ever.
And also meant nothing ever got done.
This one was supposed to be about the critical construction the city had been needing for years, but instead the head of financials had turned it into a– and excuse their language– a jerk-off party about how well he’s been running the city into the ground. Others had countered in a screaming match that resulted in the room being more full of hot air than any logical thoughts. And the original mission? Evaporated along with all of it.
By the end of the meeting, there was paperwork spread around the entire set of folding tables that had been hastily pushed together. Shaking their head, the ginger set about to collect all of it before they returned to the North division of offices.
“It’s bullshit, isn’t it?” Cleo muttered to herself, finding a significant amount of their well-drawn plans having slid through the table cracks onto the floor. “Nooo, the mayor gets to have a nice penthouse office right next to where all the bus lines run, but the rest of us have to run around night and day for meetings that could have been a zoom call.” Gods, they hated this.
That fire had completely destroyed City Hall, and with it, years and years of historical plumbing records. Cleo had finally gotten approval only a few months ago to digitize their collection, but obviously, they couldn’t do everything fast enough.
“Look at the Minister of Garbage and all her trash!” Their coworkers had mocked and belittled Cleo for years, never taking anything they said seriously. But they were going to have to soon. And it was Minister of Public Sanitation.
Losing those files meant losing the maps of the ancient water and sewage pipes in the city. Many of which were on the decline and needed to be replaced. Or some of which had lead in them. This meant Cleo now had to use the few maps that were digitized to recreate an entire plan for saving the city from disease and poisons.
Pushing back into the ‘main office space’ of the construction branch’s office, which was just filing cabinets turned into desks, Cleo made their way to the elevator. Just as the doors were about to close, another pair of workers popped in.
“I cannot believe they’d pull something off like that.” A cow hybrid said to her human counterpart. “Broad daylight. They were in and out in what–”
“Like four minutes. No one even knew it was being robbed.” The human interrupted. “I mean, I know crime is bad and all, but like, it’s kinda refreshing? Like, a victimless crime, one could say.”
“Yeah, it’s classic.” The other agreed.
Cleo smirked.
Stepping off the elevator, Cleo reached for her phone. It rung twice before a familiar voice picked up.
“Hey Cle-dog!”
Their eye twitched. “Good morning Joe.”
“Whatcha calling for?” He asked, and Cleo could swear he was kicking his feet. “I’m kinda in the middle of something.”
“Nothing, nothing, just thought I’d tell you you’re kind of famous.” Stepping onto the bus, Cleo once again caught sight of a newspaper announcing the stolen gems. “Sorry I couldn’t help.”
“Cleo, you know we couldn’t have done it without you.” A buzzing sound came through the phone, and a loud pitch screamed out. Joe’s voice grew louder. “Besides, we were a perfectly well-oiled machine!”
Of course they were. No pieces dropped at all. “Mhm. Are you actively using your circle cutter? How are you talking to me?”
“I have you pinched between my shoulder and ear. Don’t worry, I’m a professional and this is perfectly safe! Tango is coming by any minute to melt off the jewelry mounts, and then Bdubs is in the other room setting up fakes to hide the gems in.” Fabric ripping. “Oops.”
Cleo shook their head, and checked their watch. On one hand, there was work to be done back at the shoebox of an office. On the other hand, this bus was already heading that way, and who else had the opportunity to try on some decades-old historical jewelry before it was changed forever. The choice was clear.
“Ok, I’m coming over Joe.” Cleo announced. “Save a necklace for me or something. Maybe the pink one, that one’s pretty.”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it on right now. It is very pretty.” Joe grinned through the phone.
Rolling her eyes, Cleo hung up the phone and pulled the line on the bus. She had to admit, when Joe had told her the original plan of breaking into the History Museum in the middle of the day, Cleo had been completely baffled. But when neither of the heroes had appeared, the team’s genius really shined. Pride bubbled in their chest.
Their ‘office’ was in the upper south side of the city. It was more akin to a garage with a very small room attached. At some point, it had been a mechanic, but now was used for less legal modifications. It was a miracle they were able to get the space, Etho having known someone who owned the building, and was able to get a good price when they were selling it. But Etho was ‘obsessed’ with the seller or something. Cleo highly doubted that.
Pushing into the front door, the Zombie was met with a blonde woman sitting at the front desk, phone held in one hand and eyes on a monitor. She smiled softly when the familiar face entered.
“No Q, I can’t tell you where we got the gems. You can use context clues.” She snapped back into business mode. “You literally ask me this every time, and I’m never going to give you a straight answer. Now, do you want to broker this, or am I going to have to do it myself?”
A moment of silence, and a proud grin appeared on False’s face.
“That’s what I thought. Etho and I will meet you on Tuesday, normal spot. Hash out all the details.” With that, the woman hung up the phone and stood to meet her friend. “If it’s not the city electee of the hour!”
False, the one who kept everything here together while Cleo was at work. A brilliant tactician, barterer, and the one here who could read a map. (And read in general.)
“Please, I didn’t even do anything. If I was there, I would have just gotten in the way.”
“Still would have been nice to have someone else with a brain to wrangle tweedle dee, tweedle dum, tweedle dumber, and Etho.”
“hEy!” The door behind False burst open to reveal a man in a plush green coat and goggles. “Am I tweedle dee?”
False let out a long-suffering sigh as she turned back to face Cleo. “Sure Bdubs, you can be tweedle dee. You weren’t the one who dropped a crown on the way out.”
“I saw that on the news.” Cleo laughed. “I thought you were only going for the smaller pieces, why in the world would you attempt to steal a crown? How in the world did you expect Joe to break it down?”
Bdubs flipped up the goggles. “Ask Tango, he’s the one who grabbed it. I asked the same thing when he came back to the tunnels.”
Leading them back into the garage, Cleo was met with her handiwork plastered onto the wall.
Really, why else would they tolerate the Mayor’s office if not for the precious information? Maybe Cleo hadn’t been entirely honest earlier. After all, plastered across the wall of the garage was a map of the city’s water and sewage tunnels. Marked across the city were red and gold stars. Banks, museums, offices, everything that had information or objects they could trade. As the Minister of Public Sanitation, Cleo knew everything happening under the city at any time. So the others knew what to avoid.
False handed Cleo a Golden Star. “Would you like to do the honors?”
“Please.” Cleo rolled their eyes, but still took the star in hand. Carefully, they placed it atop the red one marking the History Museum, and took a step back to admire their team’s work.
A pair of fuzzy blue arms reached around from behind them, “Here’s something else for you.” A heavy necklace with pink gems was secured around their neck. “Really, this is our biggest haul yet.” Joe grinned, and Cleo ignored the black powder and burns along his face. Bastard definitely wasn’t wearing his mask.
“Did you get a chance, False?” Cleo asked, only to be met with a polaroid of the rest of her team wearing all the pieces they had stolen. “Oh this is definitely going to be evidence one day.”
Tango grinned, holding two other necklaces in his hands. “Does that mean you don’t want a picture?”
This was a team Cleo had helped found. Of course she wanted a photo wearing the stolen jewelry.
A group of people brought together for their love of shiny things, and hatred of the current city government. By some miracle, Cleo had taken the election for their position despite the particular hatred for monster hybrids in the city. They suspected it had to do with the fact that no one ever wanted to think about where their waste goes, so might as well let the Zombie handle it.
It was good enough for her and her team, who were now using that information to rob absolutely everywhere.