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Chapter Text

“Hold the-” Hudson slid inside the elevator before the door closed. Trying to catch his breath, Hudson took in a deep breath and nodded his head at the man inside. “Thanks.”

He received a soft smile in return.

Leaning his back against the wall, Hudson took in one more deep breath and adjusted his backpack. He had taken a nap after practice and was now late to his meeting with his professor.

He had been working on extra credit to remain eligible for the basketball team and needed to present his project.

Checking his phone, he saw it was half past seven.

His meeting had been at seven.

“Fuck.” Hudson put his phone back in his pocket.

There was no way that his professor was going to accept his project now.

He had already waited until the last possible moment to request extra work and his professor only agreed because the basketball coach made a phone call for him.

His coach had vouched for him.

Not only was he going to fail out of the Asian language course, he was also going to disappoint his coach.

And be forced to sit out games with scouts.

Looking towards the man sharing the elevator ride with him, Hudson went to share his woes and jolted as the elevator came to an abrupt stop.

The overhead lights dimmed and a red light glowed over the emergency button.

“What the fuck was that?” Hudson looked around the elevator. They were stopped somewhere between the third and fourth floor if the number was right.

“I believe it was the elevator failing to perform its one job.” The man squeezed his arms tight against his waist and leaned forward before pressing back against the opposite wall from Hudson. “Fifteen billion dollar university and they didn’t think to use some of that money to maintain the elevator.”

“I mean, what do we do?” Hudson leaned down to read the information next to the emergency button. “Do you think we can press this button? Like, will it actually do something?”

“Why don’t you press the button and see what happens?” The man let out a short laugh and shifted his feet. “They don’t have elevators in Canada?”

Pressing the button, Hudson jumped when the sound of an old fashioned phone ringing filled the room.

“Operator.”

“Yes, we are in the elevator in the um, Kresge Hall. It stopped?” Hudson leaned into the speaker. “I mean, it stopped and we are inside it. Can you send someone to help us?”

“Help is on the way.”

The speaker clicked off.

“Help is on the way.” The man repeated in the same robotic tone of the operator and shifted his feet. “Now we know what the button does.”

“Yes.” Hudson set his backpack down at his feet and ran his hands through his hair.

Maybe the elevator stopping was a blessing. It wasn’t his fault if he was stuck in an elevator.

His professor would have to give him credit now.

Leaning back against the wall with a smile, Hudson allowed his brain to take in the man in front of him.

He was dressed similar to himself. Jeans and a t shirt. Only his was a solid black.

He was his height and his short brown hair had a slight curl to it.

Even in the dim lighting, Hudson noticed his bright blue eyes staring back at him.

“Hudson.” He pointed to himself. “Wait, how do you know I’m from Canada?”

“You look Canadian.” The man shrugged. “Nicer than us Americans.”

“I look Canadian?” Hudson laughed. “Yeah. I have never been told that before. Seriously?”

“You have an accent.” The man shifted his feet and leaned forward before pressing back. “You are on the basketball team. I get the university newsletters. Hudson Williams: Star Forward of the Wildcats. Go U Northwestern.”

“Oh.” Hudson nodded his head. There was that. He was the only half-Asian Canadian player on the team. “And your name is?”

“Connor.” He bit the side of his bottom lip. “Not a sports fan.”

“Well, Connor Not a Sports Fan, you come here often?” Hudson joked.

“Yes.” Connor pressed his hands together and continued to stare him down.

He was cute.

Hudson was not attached to anyone serious at the moment.

His last girlfriend had been a disaster from the beginning of the relationship.

Hudson told himself that he was not going to date, or rather fuck, any more cheerleaders.

That declaration always held until he was at a party.

Or one of the cheerleaders winked at him during a game.

Yeah, he needed to work on that.

His male hookups were rarer.

Not that he cared that anyone knew he did not discriminate based on genitalia, but he spent a lot of his time with straight males. Or mostly straight males and some straight males that loosened their ideas of masculinity when they had a few drinks in them.

Maybe the elevator stopping was even more of a blessing.

“You have an intense stare.” Hudson smiled to show that he was flirting. “Why are you here at this time of night?”

“The library is quieter at night.” Connor took a deep breath and started patting at his pockets until he found a piece of gum. He did not offer one to Hudson.

“What year are you?” Hudson watched him put the gum package into his front pocket. “I graduate this year. At least, I hope to graduate this year. It is already my fifth.”

Connor spoke in Japanese as he crossed his legs and sat down on the floor. His eyes left Hudson briefly as he adjusted his body. His hands found his ankles and he squeezed them as his eyes looked up at Hudson.

“My mother is Japanese. She knows conversational Japanese from speaking with her parents; however, I was not taught it. I know what it sounds like from listening to her talk to them. Yet I know nothing that you just said.”

“First year graduate student.” Connor pressed his lips together and lowered his head.

Hudson was not sure, but he might have said it again.

Feeling awkward standing while he was on the ground, Hudson pushed away his backpack and folded himself down. He kept his legs out in front of him but made sure they stayed to the side of Connor.

“So…” Hudson ran his hand through his hair and nodded his head. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“I see you sitting in front of me.” Connor’s face stayed neutral as he continued to chew his gum. “Do you mean in a different sense? I’m not seeing any spirits in here with us. Am I dating anyone? No.”

“You are funny.” Hudson laughed and moved his foot over to tap on Connor’s thigh.

Or at least he meant to but Connor moved away before he could make contact with him.

“Sorry.” Hudson pulled his legs up and crossed them. “I’m attempting to flirt with you, but I don’t think you are interested.”

“I know.” Connor ran a hand through his hair like Hudson had just done and gave him a similar smile to the one Hudson had used. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Fucker said it the same way Hudson had asked him. Mild Canadian accent and all.

Narrowing his eyebrows, Hudson tilted his head with a soft smile.

What the fuck was that?

Before he could ask, the lights turned back on and the elevator started moving.

Both of them stood up and Hudson heard the door open as he was reaching for his backpack.

By the time he stood up, Connor was gone.

Looking at his phone, Hudson saw he was now forty five minutes late for his meeting.

Running down the hallway, Hudson replayed the strange interaction in the elevator and wondered where he could find more information about Connor.

Chapter Text

Looking up from his phone, Hudson took in the people around him. Some had already left. A few were quietly working on something and others were sitting talking in small groups.

Their professor was late.

Hudson could have slept in. He could have gone to the cafe and actually ate breakfast rather than the granola bar on the way across campus. He could be working on the psychology paper that was due tomorrow that he had yet to start.

Instead, he was sitting in a lecture hall wasting time on his phone. Yet, after checking the basketball stats from last night and reading an article on the Oregon Ducks small forward’s injury, he had nothing else to distract himself.

Sighing, Hudson gathered his backpack and started to stand when he heard everyone around him go quiet.

Finally, their professor was there.

Or he wasn’t.

Connor clipped on the microphone and gestured with his hands to the students still left as he explained in Korean why their professor was not there.

“gyosunim-i gyotongsagoleul danghasyeossseubnida. sijaghae bolkkayo?”

Hudson placed his backpack on the floor near his feet and heard the person two seats away from Hudson ask in English, “A car accident? Is he okay?”

“He is not dead.” Connor gave her a smile and then directed his attention to the group. “I was told you are working on presentations. I will be here if needed, but you can work among yourselves. Your professor, if they remain not dead, or someone that actually gets paid to do this job, will be here for your Thursday class.”

With that Connor took off the microphone and sat at the professor’s desk. Connor had started going through a stack of papers when Hudson’s solo staring game was interrupted by the lady near him.

“Can you listen to me and tell me if I’m stupid?” Holly sat in the empty chair next to him and smiled in a way that told Hudson she did not care about her presentation. “I would be in your debt.”

“How ever will you pay off this debt?” Hudson leaned across the small table attached to the chair. “I already know what you look like naked.”

“Because Landen is an asshole and I regret ever sending him those photos.” Holly dropped her smile and shook the paper in her hand. “I wouldn’t mind fucking you to get back at him, but I do need to get a good grade on this. GPA is struggling. Why did I take an Asian language course?”

“So you can flirt with the Asian that is likely getting a lower grade than all of the whites in the course?” Hudson let out a weak laugh as he leaned back in his seat.

His mother was already upset that he chose Korean over Japanese for a language credit. She would love to learn that Hudson was failing the course.

Try as he might, “school” just was not his thing. It had never been. He loved learning interesting facts and going down rabbit holes of randomness, but the structure of a traditional education system did not click with him.

He was only at the university to get drafted in the NBA or at least a foreign league. Probably not an Asian league as to further break his mother's heart.

Holly’s eyes were on her paper as she read out her presentation to Hudson and she did not see that he was not paying attention to her.

Instead, his eyes wandered to the man at the front of the hall. His paperwork had been put to the side as he spoke with a student. There was a line of three behind the very attractive “nerd” of the class.

Knowing what he knew about the people in line, none of them actually needed Connor’s help.

Holly’s words blended together while Hudson took in the tight brown sweater hugging Connor’s frame. He was built. Even more so than most of the players on his team.

Connor’s hand went to the back of his head and Hudson swallowed as his tricep contracted with each swipe through his hair.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Holly hit his arm and directed his attention away from the Greek god posing as a graduate student to her narrow eyes. “What the hell? Better join the line of drooling girls before someone asks him out first.”

“What?” Hudson shifted in his chair and shook his head. “You are just mad that I don't want to sleep with you. You are projecting…something onto me. And they are women. Girls is a derogatory term.”

“Fuck you.” Holly sneered at him and left to find someone else to read her presentation to.

“Didn’t we just say that is not going to happen?” Hudson smirked as she threw her pen at him. “Though, I do like a woman who is not afraid to stand up for herself.”

Hudson glanced over to Connor as he straightened up from getting the pen on the floor.

It was brief, but he saw Connor looking at him.

The next person took his attention away from Hudson.

Looking at his phone, Hudson groaned as he found they still had 30 minutes left of the class.

If Holly hadn’t said something, Hudson would have joined the line and asked a question to Connor. But he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction that she might be right.

Hudson read through the words he had on his paper as he waited for time to end the class. He had written a draft in English, but even so, Hudson had to re-read sentences and got lost in his own words more than he did any work on the paper.

People started clearing out of the space but Hudson decided he would linger. Holly had been one of the first to leave as the hour hit so he didn’t have that as an excuse.

Hudson sucked at “school” but he was great at playing games.

This game would be to see whether Connor would leave or stick around until everyone had left.

A group of three left with each other and Hudson told himself that he had won the game.

Connor and him were alone.

And Connor’s eyes were on him.

Gathering his things, Hudson made his way down the stairs and kept his eyes on the man waiting for him.

“Connor Not A Fan of Sports.” Hudson smiled down at him from the front of the desk. “Hudson. From the elevator.”

“Connor Not a Sports Fan.” Connor stood, finally breaking their eye contact and gathered his papers.

“Yeah, that is what I just said.” Hudson’s eyes were drawn to Connor’s flexor muscles contracting as he held the papers close to his stomach. “I think we need to work out together some time. You are ripped.”

“Then why do I need to work out with you?” Connor’s face stayed neutral until he gave him a small smile. His eyes lowered to Hudson’s mouth as he asked, “Do you have a question related to this class? Or can I go somewhere else?”

“We could be somewhere else together?” Hudson laid on his charm as he slowly made his way around the desk. “We could do whatever you want.”

Connor took in a deep breath and then slowly raised his eyes up. As Connor locked their eyes together and leaned in a fraction closer, Hudson felt his smile increasing.

Connor was interested.

This was going to happen.

Hudson could add a Greek god to his body count.

Yet, as Hudson started preparing for where they could go, his smile dropped as Connor shot him down with one bullet.

“Then I want to go somewhere alone.” Connor turned on his back heel and started toward the door. “My last name is Storrie. Connor Storrie. Please stop calling me any variation of Connor Not a Sports Fan.”

Hudson let out a short laugh as he watched Connor walk out the door.

Hudson had pursued his fair share of people before he could use being the star basketball player, but never had he been so confused as to whether someone was interested in him.

But, now he had a last name.

And a possible new fetish for sweaters that showed every muscle group better than any textbook Hudson never read.

Chapter Text

Hudson’s attention was taken away from Landen and Holly working on getting an indecency charge as the Purple Line jolted to a stop at Howard.

Their team had won their game against Duke and most of the players were on the L on their way downtown to celebrate the win at whatever club had the best drinks and music.

Hudson was also celebrating getting a solid C on his psychology paper and passing his Korean language presentation earlier that week.

He wanted to get drunk and laid in no particular order.

The rest of his assignments would be waiting for him come Monday morning, but tonight he was just a 23 year old that needed to blow off some steam.

Holly’s foot kicked Hudson’s leg as she moved to sit in Landen’s lap and he stood up to find another place to wait out the rest of the time to their stop.

Walking further up the train, Hudson’s eyes were drawn to someone walking past the window.

The Greek god that he had been obsessed with for the past few weeks started to make their way down the stairs.

Looking back at his teammates, Hudson decided none of them would miss him.

Hudson took two steps at a time down the stairs and rushed through the turnstile to get outside before he lost track of Connor.

He spotted Connor walking down the street and took in a breath before casually starting in his direction.

Hudson had been researching Connor.

Either he had private profiles or he was the only person on the planet without social media accounts.

A Google search provided an article from a local Texas newspaper that mentioned Connor’s name. Connor’s school had competed in a forensics tournament and Connor was pictured along with the other 10th Grade students.

Connor had not completed his undergraduate degree at Northwestern from what Hudson could find. But where he did go, Hudson could not find it.

Hudson had no idea who to ask for more information on Connor given that most of the people Hudson surrounded himself with were either sports or fraternity affiliated.

Seeing Connor turn down a side street, Hudson slowed down his steps then made the same turn.

He had been so determined to follow him that he had not thought about what he was going to do once he caught up to him.

What Hudson was doing was bordering on stalking at this point, but Hudson was committed to finding out more about him.

Hopefully not through a court hearing for a charge.

Connor was working on unlocking the main door to an apartment building when Hudson heard lightning crack through the sky.

Fuck.

Connor had the door open when the thunder rumbled the air around them.

Two seconds after that, Hudson got his reward for committing a felony as it started to downpour.

Him and his idiot friends had not checked the weather before they decided to go downtown.

And Hudson was dressed for a hot club with sweaty bodies, so his tank top was instantly wet without anything to protect him.

Hudson had started back to the train platform when he felt the rain stop falling on him.

Looking up, Hudson saw a large umbrella over his head and quickly turned.

Connor was holding the umbrella to cover both of them and thus was inches from his face.

Connor’s hair was still perfectly spaced in a non-styled way and his intense blue eyes were locked onto his eyes.

“Thanks.” Hudson got out as the water from his hair trickled down his face. Wiping away the wetness, Hudson started laughing at the absurdity of the moment. “I think I can explain.”

“Canada doesn’t have umbrellas.” Connor eventually smirked and Hudson let out a short breath as Connor’s eyes moved down to his lips. “You do not live around here.”

“No. I do not.” Hudson brushed back his hair off his forehead and forgot all words as he saw Connor chewing on his bottom lip.

While he stared at Hudson’s mouth.

Hudson stood drenched yet protected by Connor’s umbrella as the storm built around them.

Like a damn rom-com movie.

“I’m getting wet.” Connor broke Hudson’s thoughts about following his instincts and leaning forward to kiss him. “You can come inside until the storm stops. It should be done soon. Unless you have somewhere you need to be.”

“No. I have nowhere I need to be right now.” Hudson wiped away the wetness on his face and smiled as neither of them moved. “How is this going to work?”

“Either you walk with me or you get wet walking to the door.” Connor’s eyes moved up Hudson’s face and Hudson started to breathe a bit harder.

God, his eyes were stunning.

“Walk together.” Hudson nodded his head and told himself to keep breathing even. “Yeah, we can do that.”

Connor took a step to the side and Hudson followed his lead. They had to stay close, but the umbrella was big enough that they did not touch.

Their arms brushed together as Connor unlocked the door and Hudson felt the hairs on his neck raise.

Once the door was open, Connor gestured for Hudson to enter first and then followed him as he lowered the umbrella.

Shaking it out as he walked to the elevator, he pressed the button when he got there and finally looked to Hudson.

“Weather is crazy, eh?” Hudson looked out the windows on the bottom floor and saw the storm was only getting worse.

The door opened and Connor did not answer him.

Connor kept his attention on the rain dripping off the umbrella and onto the floor until they reached the 9th floor.

His apartment door was easier to open than the main entrance and Hudson found himself inside his apartment.

Connor turned on a lamp near the door and then another one near a small sofa.

“Do you want clothes?” Connor crossed his arms around him and kept his eyes on Hudson’s now dark blue tank top. “We are about the same size.”

“Yes.” Hudson nodded his head and took another step into the apartment. “Please.”

Hudson used the time Connor was away to take in the apartment.

Other than the small sofa and side table with the lamp, there was nothing else in the room.

The kitchen was off the living room. With a small counter separating them. Much like the living room, there was nothing interesting in the kitchen.

The umbrella was hung near the door with a thick black jacket that was likely his winter coat.

The walls were bare.

There was no television.

Maybe Connor was a serial killer and Hudson had just offered himself as his next victim?

“I moved in here at the start of the semester.” Connor reappeared with a shirt and sweatpants. “I’m not a serial killer. I just don’t have money or the need to decorate a place I am not going to stay in for long.”

“Did I say that outloud?” Hudson awkwardly laughed and took the offered clothes. “I don’t think I did.”

“Your face gives you away.” Connor pointed down the small hallway. “You can use the bathroom to change.”

Hudson tried to restyle his hair in the mirror after changing over his clothes, but the rain had ruined the product he had in it.

Hanging his clothes on the shower door, Hudson jumped from a loud bolt of lightning.

The bathroom light went out as Hudson opened the door.

Yeah, he was definitely in some sort of horror film.

Minorities always went first.

Fuck.

Connor had a few candles lit in the kitchen that Hudson used as a reference to find his way.

“I think you are bad luck.” Connor used his foot to push back the chair near his own and looked to it. “Sit.”

Hudson pushed back the chair a bit more and then sat facing him.

Connor had his toes pressing into the floor and his arms tight around his waist, highlighting the muscles Hudson had been admiring since he met him.

Connor was dressed similar to him, only he had slides on his feet.

“Maybe the universe is giving us a sign.” Hudson did not hide that he was looking Connor up and down. “We are destined to be together.”

“Why?” Connor took a deep breath and looked towards the window before back. “Why did you follow me?”

“We won the game tonight. I was going downtown with the team when I saw you get off the train.” Hudson pressed his hands against his thighs and kept his eyes on Connor’s face. He was staring at him again and it was making it difficult to think. “I don’t know. Something told me to get off and follow you.”

“And then do what?” Connor broke their stare off and looked down to his legs. “I don’t do random hook ups.”

“I do.” Hudson heard Connor say something under his breath but he ignored it. “But maybe the universe wants me to open myself to more than that? I mean, who wouldn’t want to be something more with you?”

“Because I look the way that I do means that I am someone you want to have a relationship with.” Connor looked up but kept his eyes on Hudson’s mouth.

“I mean, yeah?” Hudson leaned forward and laughed. “That is how attraction works. Do you not find me attractive?”

“I know hardly anything about you.” Connor shrugged his shoulder. “You are good at basketball. Your mother is Japanese. You are a fifth year undergrad. That is not much to go on.”

“What do you want to know about me?” Hudson smiled when Connor’s eyes rose up to his eyes. “Ask me anything.”

“Besides physical attraction to someone, what do you find attractive in a person?” Connor leaned forward in the chair and crossed his legs.

“Well…I mean…being a nice person?” Hudson started tapping his thumb on his thigh. “That is a stupid answer. I don’t know. They like the same things I like. Like, not all the same things, but maybe we have things in common.”

“What do we have in common?” Connor offered.

The power turned on and saved Hudson the embarrassment of not having an answer.

The storm had let up and there were more lights on outside when Hudson looked toward the window.

“Maybe I should go?” Hudson nodded his head and stood after Connor did not give him an answer. “Thanks for the clothes. And someplace dry to wait out the storm.”

Connor was standing near the door when Hudson returned with his wet clothes in hand.

After telling each other good night, Hudson found himself walking to the elevator and wondering what just happened.

Like every time he left an interaction with him.

Yet despite the confusion that came from interacting with him, there was something inside Hudson that was telling him that he needed to explore whatever it was that kept Connor on his mind.

Maybe it was the novelty of it.

Hudson had never met anyone like Connor.

Waiting for the train, Hudson decided he was going to figure out how to communicate with Connor so they could get to know more about one another.

And he was going to start by using the time honored tradition of asking him on a date.

Chapter Text

“Knock, knock.” Hudson tapped his hand on the open door to the graduate students’ office.

Connor was sitting behind a desk and working on something with his head down.

He did not react to Hudson knocking on the door.

“Knock, knock!” Hudson increased his volume and actually knocked on the door with knuckles. “Connor!”

Connor continued to write and did not give any indication that he heard him.

Or maybe he did but he was ignoring him?

Hudson pushed away that last thought and took a few steps in the office.

Still no reaction as Hudson came closer to him.

Leaning down, Hudson knocked on the desk with a smile. “Connor.”

Connor’s body tensed and Hudson heard his gasp before looking up at him.

His eyes were wide but he didn’t move otherwise.

“Sorry.” Hudson increased his smile and stood up straight while taking a step backward. “I knocked on the door but you didn’t say anything so I came inside without asking. I didn’t mean to startle you. Professor Tierney told me where you were. Is it okay that I’m here? I have your clothes. I washed them.”

Hudson offered out the folded clothes and told himself to breathe. He was rambling but at least Connor’s face appeared to relax as Hudson spoke.

Hudson let out a short laugh and put the offered clothes down on the desk in front of the notebook Connor was writing in. Hudson only glanced but he was not sure what language he was writing in.

After what felt like a full minute, Connor raised his right hand to his ear and took out the earbud from the right and then his left ear. His hand quickly moved to his lap and then he gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry. Professor Tierney told me where you-”

“I know what you said.” Connor took in a deep breath and looked down to the desk. “I read your lips.”

“Oh.” Hudson crossed his arms and then decided to release them to put inside his pockets. “Hi.”

“Hello.” Connor stretched out his neck and put his earbuds into their container with his eyes down on his hands. “Thank you for bringing my clothes back.”

“You are welcome.” Hudson nodded his head despite Connor not looking at him. “I feel like I need to explain myself. I didn’t mean to stalk you. I mean, following you off the L is crazy behavior. There is something about you. I don’t know how to put it into words. But I cannot stop thinking about you and I would love to get to know more about you. Find out what we have in common.”

Hudson shook his head at his rambling. He had come to apologize and ask him out, but from how Connor had yet to look back at him, he was starting to feel even like an idiot.

“So I will go.” Hudson let out a slow breath and turned to get away as quickly as possible before ruining any chance of getting to know him.

“Are you busy right now?” Connor’s voice made Hudson stop before he made it to the door.

Turning to him, Hudson shook his head. He was going to meet with his study group, but he didn’t need to be there.

“Do you want to go to the zoo with me?” Connor closed his notebook and put his earbuds in his pocket before looking up to him. “It’s free.”

“Yes. I would love to go to the zoo with you.” Hudson smiled and felt his heart jump when Connor smiled back to him.

“Let me get my coat.” Connor nodded his head and moved away from the desk. “It is good weather for walking. We will not need to bring an umbrella.”

Hudson laughed and waited for Connor to come closer to him before walking out into the hallway.

They walked in silence to the elevator. Connor appeared to copy his stride and he stayed close to him, but not close enough that they touched.

Stepping into the elevator, Hudson pressed the button for the ground floor. “Hey, this is where we met for the first time.”

“We did not meet for the first time here.” Connor pressed back against the opposite wall and locked his eyes on Hudson’s mouth.

“Yeah, this is the elevator.” Hudson looked up to the number on the door. “It was this one.”

“This is the elevator that we were stuck in.” Connor waited for Hudson to look back at him and raised his eyes up to his eyes. “But this is not where we met for the first time.”

“Where was that?” Hudson narrowed his eyes and looked away from him so he could think.

Hudson would have remembered meeting Connor.

“At the beginning of the semester.” Connor put gum in his mouth and wrapped his arms around his waist right as the elevator dinged on their floor. “Ding. You ran into me and knocked the books out of my hands. You were in a rush, but you stopped and picked them up for me.”

“I don’t remember that.” Hudson followed him out of the elevator and tried to think back.

To be fair, Hudson was a bit clumsy and regularly ran into people. His coaches had always yelled at him for it.

“It happened.” Connor opened the door for Hudson and then followed. “You were nice to me.”

“I’m glad I was.” Hudson looked over and saw Connor was looking forward. “It would be embarrassing if I was an asshole to you then and then attempted to hit on you later.”

“Yes. It would be embarrassing.” Connor glanced over and then looked before they crossed the street.

The walk to the L was a few minutes from the university, but they didn’t talk as they walked.

Or going through the station.

Or waiting for the train.

Or on the train.

Hudson typically did not like silence with other people. He felt like he needed to fill the space and talk about anything to make it not awkward. Or use his phone to distract him.

Yet, the silence was not awkward with Connor.

Hudson’s phone stayed in his pocket and he alternated between looking out the dirty window and over to Connor sitting in bench across from him.

A few times he found Connor watching him, but most of the time it seemed that Connor’s attention was elsewhere.

Maybe he was distracted by the music playing in his earbuds.

Walking toward the zoo, Hudson asked him what he was listening to as Connor put them back into his container.

“Nothing.” Connor put the container in his pocket and looked over to Hudson. “They are noise cancelling.”

“You were sitting on the L listening to nothing?” Hudson kept in pace with him as they neared the entrance to the zoo. “And sitting in an empty office in silence?”

“Yes.” Connor took in a deep breath and stopped while turning his body toward Hudson. “What is the plan? Is there an animal you want to see?”

“I have never been here.” Hudson copied Connor’s stance and smiled at the face Connor made. “I know. Chicago landmark and I have never been. I have been to most of the others. Not the Sears Tower or whatever they are calling it now.”

“Skydeck.” Connor’s tongue pushed out his cheek as he moved it back along his teeth. “Do you like heights?”

“Sure. They are okay.” Hudson followed Connor’s eyes as they moved from his mouth to his eyes. “I don’t like falling from heights, but being up high is okay.”

“Good answer.” Connor smiled at him and turned to walk. “I want fries. Do you like fries?”

“Yeah.” Hudson ran his hand through his hair and walked faster to keep up with him.

Connor appeared to know the way, so he allowed him to lead them to one of the cafes.

Connor ordered the fries and water before looking back at Hudson as he raised his eyebrow.

“Same. Water and fries.” Hudson smiled and reached for his wallet as Connor ordered more for him.

Yet Connor had already paid.

“You didn’t need to pay.” Hudson moved over to the side with Connor as they waited for their food.

“I asked you to come. It is the tradition to pay.” Connor laughed into his fist pressed against his mouth. His other arm was across his waist and pressing against his elbow.

“What?” Hudson laughed with him. His laugh was wonderful to listen to and contagious.

“They think you are cute.” Connor looked behind him at two teenagers preparing their food and then back to Hudson. “The taller one wants to ask for your phone number.”

Hudson leaned in closer to the counter to see if he could hear them talking about him, but he didn’t understand the language they were speaking.

Looking at Connor, Hudson swallowed at how close they were now. He probably should have leaned back, but his body didn’t want to so he stayed close.

Connor’s eyes slowly moved up to his eyes and he smiled against his fist.

“Two order of fries.” One of the ladies called out as she placed the baskets on the counter behind Connor. “And water.”

Connor’s smile increased and then he removed his hand. “Want to watch something fun?”

Hudson nodded his head because he was still trying to recover from being so close to Connor.

Connor twisted away from him and rested his hands on the waters as he spoke to them in their language.

Both of the teenagers turned to him in unison as their faces fell.

Hudson took the fry baskets and laughed as they left to find somewhere to sit.

Connor picked a table away from everyone and sat with his back to the wall.

“What did you say to them?” Hudson pushed his chair in and placed their baskets in front of them.

Connor placed Hudson’s water in front of him and then opened his own near his lap.

“I told them that I wanted your phone number too.” Connor slowly raised the bottle to his mouth and took a quick drink before moving it back to his lap. Swishing the water around in his mouth, he swallowed.

“You want my phone number?” Hudson smiled as he leaned in closer to the table. “How did I earn that?”

“Because you listen.” Connor gave him a quick smile and then turned his eyes down to his fries. He placed his water back on the table and then used the same hand to pick through his fries.

“I listen?” Hudson started eating his fries and watched Connor finally pick one up to eat.

Like the water, he raised the fry to his mouth slowly.

Nodding his head, Connor swallowed and looked up to him with his forearm pressed against the table. “You haven’t tried to touch me since I moved away from you in the elevator. You stopped calling me Connor Not a Sports Fan. You didn’t try to make a move on me at my apartment when I invited you inside. I told you I didn’t do random hookups and you didn’t try to talk me into one. You listen.”

“Do people not listen to you?” Hudson lowered the fry he was going to eat when Connor nodded his head twice. “I promise I will listen to you. I don’t want to rush this. I feel something around you and I like it.”

“I feel it.” Connor smiled and started going through his basket of fries again. “I have to get to know you before I know if I want anything more with you than friendship. That is a hard line for me.”

“Should we start with my phone number?” Hudson had to smile at the instant blush that colored Connor’s face. “I will take that as a yes.”

“Then you would be right.” Connor looked away as he took a bite of his fry. “They are still talking about you.”

“How many languages do you know?” Hudson took a drink of his water and looked at Connor’s side profile as he stayed looking away. He had a strong jaw line and his hair curled at the ends.

“Several.” Connor’s eyes looked down to his lap for a few seconds and then back to Hudson. “I would like to learn more, but time gets in the way. Once you learn the language families and their rules, it is easier to pick up more.”

“And you like using them to freak people out?” Hudson pointed to the teenagers behind the counter. “How many times have you done something like that?”

“I haven’t counted.” Connor bit his bottom lip and kept his eyes on him. “It is fun though. People say the most random things when they think no one can understand them. I have heard arguments. Jokes. Insults. People talking about their pain. Sometimes it is not fun. Sometimes it breaks my heart.”

Hudson saw his eyes start to water and then Connor shaking his head. “What is your major?”

“Psychology.” Hudson waited for Connor to start laughing. He never did. “Most people are surprised by that.”

“It is a great way to study neurotypes.” Connor bit another fry and looked away again. “It was my undergrad minor.”

“Neurotypes.” Hudson swallowed his water and leaned back onto his chair. “Yeah. It is a good way to learn about people. Learn about yourself.”

Connor looked back to him and gave him a brief smile before looking back to his fries.

“My father is autistic.” Hudson offered and saw Connor tense his shoulders. “I have ADHD. I hated it when I was younger, but now I have learned that it is just how my brain works. Or sometimes how it doesn't work. I’m in my fifth year because I switched my major so many times after getting bored. Failed so many classes because my brain just didn’t want to do the work. My parents made sure I had sports. Basketball is the only reason I choose to go to university.”

“Group sports were never my thing.” Connor copied Hudson and moved further back in his seat. “Gymnastics is a solo sport. Thus why I am built the way I am. And genetics.”

“I can see that.” Hudson nodded his head. “How are your parents? Mine are supportive. They don’t care that I sleep with men as well as women. And anything in between really. Both of them fall into “other” categories, so they have an understanding of how it can be to be different. Or not mainstream.”

“Something we have in common.” Connor smiled and reached for a fry. “We are collecting them.”

“Have you heard the theory?” Hudson bit into his fry. “Neurodiverse people tend to find each other. Collect others like Pokémon. I got really into Pokémon when I was younger. I have so many cards at my mother’s house.”

“I can see that.” Connor nodded his head with Hudson’s accent.

“Okay, what is that?” Hudson dropped his fry and leaned in closer. He made sure he stayed smiling so Connor knew he was not teasing him. “Why do you do that?”

“I mimic people. Sometimes when I don’t realize it.” Connor leaned in closer and copied Hudson’s body posture. “Other times I do it on purpose. It puts people at ease.”

“Probably why I feel comfortable around you.” Hudson finished his last fry. “Like, you confuse the hell out of me, but it leaves me wanting to know more about you.”

“People typically don’t stay around once they learn more about me.” Connor stacked his basket on top of Hudson’s empty one. “Which is fine. I find most people boring. I would much rather occupy myself with my own thoughts.”

“Well, most people are idiots.” Hudson reached for his phone. “So can I have your number?”

“Yes.” Connor nodded his head and gave him his phone number. “Ready to leave?”

“What about the animals?” Hudson asked once they were back outside. “The gift shop?”

“I wanted the fries.” Connor shrugged his shoulder. “And I spent all my money on them.”

“You didn’t have to pay for mine.” Hudson moved in front of him and held up his hand to stop him from walking. “What is your favorite animal? I will buy you one in the gift shop. A memory for our first date.”

“Date?” Connor’s face stayed neutral until it broke into a smile. “I’m kidding. I struggle with favorites. So save your money for our next date.”

“Next date?” Hudson took a step forward but kept his hands down. “You want to go on another date with me?”

“You do have my phone number.” Connor raised his hand up between them and ran his fingertip down Hudson’s upper arm. “You can use it.”

Hudson’s eyes followed Connor’s finger until it moved off him and told himself to breathe again.

Connor was looking at his eyes when Hudson moved his eyes up. “Was that okay?”

“Yes.” Hudson nodded his head once and took in a slow breath. “That was very okay.”

Much like how they arrived, they walked in silence to the L and took the train back together.

Connor smiled at him when he stood up for his stop and Hudson watched him until he was out of his sight.

Reaching for his phone, Hudson found he had a new message.

You can pick where we go for our next date, but let me know where we are going. I don’t want to be surprised. And nowhere that I cannot leave if I want to. Like, no boats.

Sounds reasonable. What are you doing tomorrow?

Not going on a boat tour.

I have early practice but am free in the afternoon. Do you want to go to lunch?

Can I pick the place?

That goes against me picking the next date, but yes. You can pick where we go.

Good. There is a place I like in Chinatown. I will text you the address later.

I look forward to it.

Good. Looking backwards for it would be weird.

You think you are funny?

I know I am funny. You will learn. If you stick around long enough.

Oh, I plan on it.

Chapter Text

Clicking off a text from one of his teammates, Hudson scanned the area near the restaurant Connor requested they meet at in Chinatown.

It was Saturday afternoon, but there were few people moving about. Most appeared to be workers or people simply walking by on their way to other destinations.

Looking at his phone again for the time, Hudson found that he was fifteen minutes late.

Walking into the restaurant, Hudson’s eyes were drawn to Connor near the kitchen having a conversation with an elderly woman who appeared to be of Korean descent.

The woman’s attention turned to Hudson as he approached and he gave her a smile with a small wave.

Connor’s eyes followed the woman’s attention and he offered Hudson the same wave in return.

“You made it.” Connor wrapped his arms back around his waist and kept his eyes on him. “I was afraid you were not going to come.”

“Sorry. Practice ran over and the line was down for a few minutes.” Hudson stopped close to Connor and allowed himself to take in the bright blue eyes staring him down. “I would have been here on time if I could.”

Connor finally took his eyes off him and started talking to the woman in Korean. She nodded her head at him and went back into the kitchen.

“Hello.” Connor greeted him in Korean and then switched to English. “I ordered for us. Is that okay? She makes the best bibimbap and I always get it when I come here. I come here often.”

“Sure.” Hudson smiled as he nodded his head. “Should we sit down? Looks like we have the pick of tables.”

“I normally sit over there.” Connor looked toward the front corner and then back. “But I feel like I am taking over your plans for this date, so you can pick where we sit.”

“Then I pick where you normally sit.” Hudson took a step back and offered his arm out. “After you.”

Connor bit at his lower lip and led them to the table.

Following him, Hudson took in a few breaths to settle his nerves.

He had been thinking about meeting with him all day. As a result, he had fucked up most of practice and got several comments from his teammates. And his coach.

He had been anticipating getting to know more about the man that filled his thoughts, but now that he was here he felt underprepared.

Connor appeared to be someone that wanted meaningful conversation rather than the bullshit conversations most people had with one another. Hudson had written down questions to peak his interest, but forgotten them in his room.

Connor sat with his back to the wall and looked outside the window before narrowing his eyes on Hudson’s lips. “Why are you nervous?”

“I wrote down questions to ask you.” Hudson pushed his chair up closer to the table and leaned his arms on it. “And then forgot to bring them with me.”

“You wrote down questions?” Connor leaned his arms onto the table, but kept his fists clenched tight. “Do you not remember them?”

“There was one about languages. I’m sure that I phrased it better on paper, but I wondered why you decided to study them.” Hudson swallowed as Connor’s smile grew until he saw his teeth. “So, yeah, um, why do you study languages?”

“Good question.” Connor’s eyes moved to look at something outside the window. “Growing up I felt like everyone was speaking a language I did not understand. Kids my age just clicked with one another so easily while I was left to the side. I thought if I studied languages, maybe I would learn what they knew that I didn’t.”

“Did you figure it out?” Hudson waited a few seconds and then asked again. “Connor, did you figure out what they knew?”

Connor closed his eyes and turned his head back to him before he opened them again. “No. But I learned that my brain really likes languages. I would get stuck on one and learn as much as I could about it. Translate English works into it. Once I absorbed as much as I could with one or I got bored of it, my brain found another one to fixate on.”

“Sounds incredibly lonely.” Hudson reached his hand out to him but stopped himself before he touched him.

“You can touch me.” Connor’s eyes moved from Hudson’s lips to the fist Hudson rested his hand on. He took in a deep breath and then a slower one. “Your hand is warm. You really are nervous. Why?”

With the question, Connor moved his eyes up to Hudson’s and held them there.

Because your eyes look like you are reading my soul and I want to know what you will find.

“Because I think I could really like you but I’m not good at this.” Hudson rubbed his fingers over the top of Connor’s hand. “I would normally walk away if I haven’t fucked someone by now. And if I did fuck someone, I would probably walk away afterward as well. But I don’t want to with you.”

“You don’t want to fuck me?” Connor smirked and Hudson felt the table move with a sound. “Food is here.”

Hudson took back his hand and nodded at the elderly woman with their food. Feeling brave, Hudson told her thank you in Korean.

Which led to her talking to him and Hudson nodding along to whatever she was saying. Thankfully she left after Connor thanked her.

“She thinks it is nice that I have someone with me. You look like a good boy.” Connor’s attention was on the food in front of him. He was going through the dish and picking out the mushrooms with his fork. “And she hopes you like the food.”

“Do you?” Hudson continued to watch as Connor moved each piece of mushroom he could find out of the bowl and onto the plate underneath it. “I thought you said you get this every time. Why get something with mushrooms if you do not like mushrooms?”

“I don’t like the texture of mushrooms. I like the taste of mushrooms in this dish, but I don’t want to eat them.” Connor looked up to him briefly and then back to his task. “I forgot to ask you if you have any food allergies. I assume that you would have told me though.”

“No. I don’t have any allergies.” Hudson blew on his food before placing it in his mouth. “It’s good. Thank you for ordering it for me.”

“You are welcome.” Connor took his first bite and kept his head down while he ate. “You are welcome. Why did you pick psychology for a major? Was it to learn more about humans? That is why I picked it for my undergrad minor.”

“It was recommended to me. I had enough extra credits to graduate with it if I did the psychology courses, so I decided why not.” Hudson blew on his fork. “I like it. Interesting rabbit holes to follow.”

“What was your last one?” Connor put down his fork and moved his hands into his lap. He looked at his hands for a few moments and then found Hudson’s lips again. “Tell me something interesting.”

“The last one I went on was about how fucked up Frued was and what he got up to outside of lecturing people about fucking their parents.” Hudson got a smile in return. “I don’t remember what I found other than that. I do know that I would not want to go through psychoanalysis.”

“He would label me a narcissist and blame my mother for not giving me enough affection.” Connor looked back outside the window. “For you, he would be concerned about your superego. And blame your parents for not giving you enough structure. Easier times back then. You could have any bullshit theory and ruin people's lives with it.”

Hudson finished his food while Connor looked out the window. After paying for them, and telling the woman in English that he knew very little Korean, he joined Connor outside.

Whatever mood shift had happened inside appeared to be over because he was smiling at him.

“So I know that this is supposed to be your date and everything, but do you want to go to one of my favorite stores?” Connor laughed with Hudson. “I know. I hijacked this whole thing. Next date, you pick.”

“Next date?” Hudson stepped in closer and hovered his hand over Connor’s upper arm until he received a nod. Moving his fingers down the same way Connor had done to him yesterday, Hudson felt him shiver underneath his touch. “Wow.”

Looking up from his hand, he found Connor’s eyes on him.

And then he felt his lips press against his own.

It was brief, with Hudson barely closing his eyes before they were removed, but it gave him the same shiver as the slight touch had.

Connor stayed close to him. His eyes locked on him in a way that Hudson had started to crave.

“Next date for sure.” Connor smiled and broke whatever spell he had put on Hudson by stepping away from him. “Come with me. I think you will like this store. Do you like touching things?”

Touching things?

Hudson swallowed and followed him.

Hudson liked touching all sorts of things.

“You.” Hudson grinned as Connor’s eyes shot over to him and then back forward. “I very much like touching you.”

Connor’s hand rested on Hudson’s lower back as he stopped them in front of a fabric store.

Hudson had shivered this time as he tried to focus on what Connor was trying to tell him.

“You okay?” Connor’s voice pulled Hudson away from the warmth spreading up his back.

But as he came back, he found those bright blue eyes looking at his mouth and he didn’t even think before he leaned forward.

His hand copied Connor’s and moved flat against his lower back while he pressed their lips together. He kept them there longer than Connor’s kiss as his heart started to beat faster.

Moving them apart briefly to open his mouth enough to take in Connor’s bottom lip between his own, he felt Connor jerk away from him and he took his hand off of him while taking a step back.

“Sorry.” Hudson raised his hands up between them and scanned Connor’s face to see if he had just epically fucked up the best kiss Hudson had ever had. “It felt good and I didn’t think to ask you.”

Connor blinked his eyes hard and then kept them closed for a few seconds.

Hudson looked around them but no one seemed to care that Hudson had just ruined any chance of having more with Connor by not doing the one thing that Connor had praised him for.

Running his hand through his hair, Hudson wondered if he should leave.

But he couldn’t leave Connor with his eyes closed and tense in the middle of Chinatown.

Opening his mouth to ask what he should do, Hudson saw Connor come back to himself.

“Want to go inside now?” He asked and took a step away from Hudson to the door with his eyes down on his feet. “Or you can leave. I won’t blame you.”

“I want to go inside.” Hudson answered quickly. He did not want to leave and he did not want to give Connor the impression that whatever had just happened would make him leave. “What can we touch in there?”

Connor smiled to his feet and opened the door with a bit too much force. “All sorts of wonderful textures.”

“Then I cannot wait to touch them.” Hudson moved his hand onto Connor’s lower back and followed him inside.

Maybe kissing was moving too fast for him.

He could slow it down.

Stick to simple touches and work their way up to more kisses.

Anything to allow Hudson to get to learn more about Connor.

Two chaste kisses and he was already hooked.

Chapter Text

Hudson had an away game in Florida. He had texted Connor afterward that they had won with a gif of their mascot dancing.

That was three days ago and Connor had yet to read the message.

And since he apparently had nothing better to do with his time, like working on actually graduating this year, Hudson had been going through all of their interactions and what could have possibly gone wrong.

They had spent over an hour in the textile store. Connor proposed a challenge to Hudson. Find the softest fabric, the best feeling texture, and the material that made him feel ick.

Hudson took the challenge seriously and hunted throughout the store. It had taken awhile to find a material that made him feel ick, but he presented the best option to Connor and was rewarded with a smile.

Connor said that he could tell by looking at the material that it was a good option. He was not going to touch it, but he was happy that Hudson played along with his game.

They bought nothing and left to walk along the river to the L.

They spoke of nothing, but kept glancing at one another until they entered the train.

Once inside the car, they sat opposite each other and periodically made silly faces at one another. Each time trying to one up the other until both of them were probably annoying the others in the car with their laughter.

After one partially stupid face that Hudson had made, Connor let out a laugh that increased to a high pitch that filled the train. With it, he leaned forward and rubbed his hands together until sitting back against the seat to attempt to quiet himself.

The high pitch sound with the hand rubbing sparked a memory for Hudson.

Connor had been right. Hudson had knocked into Connor as he ran to get to his class at the beginning of the semester.

His books had scattered to the floor and caught the attention of the other students.

And Connor’s high pitched laughter kept their attention.

Hudson gathered the books and ignored the stares. At least until he stood and offered over the books to Connor and found his red face frozen as his hands rubbed together.

People were laughing as they passed by them.

Hudson stepped in closer and blocked the others from his view. Much like he had done countless times on the court. Hudson waited until Connor’s eyes looked at him and his hands stopped moving.

“Thank you.” Connor shied his eyes away from Hudson and took the offered books before rushing down the hall.

Hudson was late to class and forgot all about the encounter as his professor gave him a look.

But it had been Connor.

Connor tapped the top of his boot against Hudson’s sneaker and winked at him as he got off on his stop.

He texted him later that night a list of films he enjoyed. Hudson responded back with his own list. Connor said that he would compare them and find one for them to watch together. For a fourth date because Hudson was in charge of the third date.

The text chain had Hudson celebrating his win and then nothing.

Maybe Hudson had given him some sort of sign that he was not comfortable with what had happened when Connor jerked away from him.

Maybe Hudson had actually ruined it by attempting to add to the kiss without asking first.

Maybe his list of films were not compatible with Connor's films.

Or maybe Hudson had been wrong about all of it and Connor was not interested in him.

Maybe he was one of those boring people that Connor did not give his time to.

“Someone messing with your head?” Tim handed Hudson his paper and took Hudson’s from him. “You have that look.”

“What look?” Hudson sat up straighter in his chair and turned his screen over so he wouldn’t get distracted by it. “I have a look?”

“Yeah, it is a sad, puppy dog look.” Tim started reading through Hudson’s paper. “You get it when someone blows you off. Like, in a bad way.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Hudson read Tim’s opening statement and found he didn’t remember any of the words. Putting the paper down, Hudson kicked Tim’s shin and waited for him to look up at him. “Have you ever felt, I don’t know, like fucking sunshine radiating off of someone? Like your whole body feels good just being near them?”

“Sounds like some girl shit.” Tim turned his head back to the paper and Hudson kicked him harder. “What? Fine. Yes. Once. Maybe. She was my second girlfriend. I was so weak for her. She could get me to do anything just by smiling at me. But that was just young love. Infatuation because it is all so new. Can I read your paper now?”

Hudson nodded his head and took in a breath before starting to read the opening statement again.

He got half way through the page before he realized he knew nothing of what the paper said.

“I need to go.” Hudson handed over Tim’s paper and took his own as Tim was writing something on it. His pen smeared as Hudson took it away. “Sorry.”

Hudson laughed as Tim shouted out to him as he took two steps down at a time through the lecture hall. “Go chase that sunshine.”

“Sorry.” Hudson nodded to the professor. “I have an emergency.”

He didn’t stick around to see if the professor acknowledged him.

The language building was across campus and Hudson ran the whole way there. He had no idea if Connor would be there, but he needed to see him.

Thankfully Connor was in the grad office and Hudson didn’t need to stalk him at his apartment.

Working on catching his breath, Hudson found himself smiling as he took him in.

Connor had on the tight brown sweater and he was writing something in a journal in front of him. Giving Hudson a full view of his curls on top of his head and the lines of the muscles in his neck.

Hudson flickered the lights on and then off with the switch by the door and got Connor’s eyes on him right away.

“Stop that.” Connor closed his eyes and turned his face away from the lights. “Stop that please.”

Hudson kept the lights off and walked inside. Connor had taken out his earbuds and was now looking up at him.

“Hi.” Hudson smiled and pulled a chair closer to the desk so he was not hovering over him. “You haven’t texted me back in like three days.”

“I didn’t?” Connor looked over at his phone and then back to Hudson’s lips. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Hudson smiled and leaned in closer and placed his arms on the top of the desk. “Hi.”

“You already said that.” Connor smiled back. “That is my thing.”

“I do it sometimes.” Hudson laughed and felt the anxiety that had been held inside his chest for the past few days instantly disappear as Connor laughed with him. “What are you working on?”

“Do you actually want to know, or are you just making conversation?” Connor pulled his arms close to him and kept his hands under the desk. “Because I have two different answers for those questions.”

“I actually want to know.” Hudson heard a noise from underneath the desk but ignored it. “What are you writing in the journal?”

“I need to find a topic for my dissertation.” Connor broke their eye contact and looked toward his journal. “I have a few ideas, but I’m trying to narrow them down.”

“Dissertation? Doesn’t that come at the end of grad school?” Hudson started tapping his fingers along the desk and smiled as Connor’s eyes instantly moved to them. “Wait? Are you in a doctorate program? That is like, what five years?”

“It depends on how long it takes to finish the dissertation after the coursework.” Connor’s eyes stayed on Hudson’s fingers tapping until he stopped them. He took in a deep breath and looked at Hudson’s eyes. “I’m at the beginning of the process, but it is best to start early. But, I don’t really have a plan for when I finish the dissertation so…yeah.”

“I can’t believe you are voluntarily adding at least five years to the four you already completed.” Hudson started tapping his fingers again and found he had Connor’s attention back to them. “I am only here to play basketball. Otherwise I would have found anything else to do but university.”

“University is easy.” Connor’s head leaned forward and then he snapped his eyes away from Hudson’s fingers. Instead of looking at Hudson, his eyes went up to the ceiling. “They hand you the rules and all you need to do is follow them. You don’t get the rules out there.”

“Well, I don’t like rules.” Hudson started to tap his fingers again but stopped when Connor clenched his face. “Sorry.”

“Are you busy right now?” Connor shook his head and stood with his hands clamped together. “My flow is broken and I want to leave here.”

“Sorry about that.” Hudson stood and grinned as Connor repeated what he said with an exaggerated accent. “Okay, that one might have been bullying.”

“Canadians really do say sorry a lot.” Connor emphasized sorry in an American accent and Hudson took that as the apology. “Are you busy?”

“I left class to come and find you.” Hudson waited for Connor to grab his coat and walked with him to the elevator. “Where are we going?”

“Third date.” Connor pressed the button for the elevator and walked in as the doors opened for them. “Your pick.”

“Okay, no places that we cannot leave if we want to. So no boats. No escape rooms. Any other rules?” Hudson leaned back against the wall and smiled as Connor made his way over to him. That was new. Typically he would find the other wall.

Connor had his hands behind his back and only stopped when he was close enough to kiss him. Biting his bottom lip, Connor kept his eyes focused on Hudson’s lips. Hudson could count every eyelash if his brain worked well enough to do math.

They hovered near one another, each with their eyes on each other’s lips.

There was no part of their bodies touching but Hudson could feel him.

Hudson swallowed and prepared himself for the kiss.

They hadn’t kissed since the minor disaster in Chinatown.

Yet he remembered the taste of his lips.

How his heart fluttered as Connor’s lips pressed against his own.

The door dinged and opened as Hudson started to ache for it.

He almost forgot to exit as he watched Connor walk away from him without the kiss.

So he was a tease.

Okay, Hudson could work with that.

Hudson brought them to Clark Street Beach near campus because he hadn’t thought the date through and it seemed like the easiest place to go.

“How did you know I wanted to see the water?” Connor was working on taking his boots off while Hudson unlaced his sneakers. “The sand is going to be cold.”

“Your socks are inside out.” Hudson lifted his foot over toward him. “I do that too. I hate seams.”

“Oh my God, don’t get me started.” Connor put his socks inside his boots and stood with his fingers holding the top of them.

When Hudson stood with his sneaker laces around his finger and holding them together, he found that Connor had moved his hands behind his back. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Connor nodded his head.

They walked until they were near the water but made sure to stay away from the wet sand. It was too cold to go into the water.

“What will you do once you graduate?” Connor broke the comfortable silence between them. “You said you will this year.”

“I don’t know. My dream has always been the NBA. I’m good enough and people have been interested in me, but I wanted to finish school first. My mother insisted that I graduate with a degree to fall back on.” Hudson stepped over a shell and looked over to see if Connor was watching him.

He was.

“What team will you play for?”

“Who ever wants to pay me the most money?” Hudson shook his head. “If the NBA doesn’t want me, I could go abroad. Maybe you can teach me the language of whatever country I go to.”

“It would depend on the country.” Connor was looking out into the lake when Hudson looked toward him. The sun was going to set soon and the colors of the sky were doing wonderful things on his face. “Maybe I will follow you to that country. I like being with you.”

“Yeah.” Hudson smiled and reached his hand out to stop Connor. His hand moved down his chest and then rested on the top of his arm. “Its like-”

“You get me.” Connor finished his thought and smiled as he looked down.

“How do you do that?” Hudson leaned his head down and followed Connor’s face up as he raised his head. Once he had his eyes on him, he added, “It is like you can read my mind.”

“Maybe I can.” Connor leaned in the rest of the way and pressed their lips together.

Hudson felt the warmth spread down his spine and he prepared to tell Connor as they started to move back.

Only, Connor opened his lips and kissed Hudson’s top lip and stepped in closer.

A shiver moved through him as Hudson captured Connor’s top lip with his own.

Both of them were breathing a bit faster when they moved away from one another.

There was a beautiful sunset coloring the water and the sky behind Connor, but all Hudson could see was the color of Connor’s eyes locked on him.

Yeah, if he went to a foreign league, Connor was coming with him.

And not just because he could teach him the language.

Chapter Text

Are you busy right now?

No. Fourth date?

Do you want to come over?

You don’t have a television

I do. It is in my room.

I can be in your room?

Why is that scandalous?

Hudson laughed to himself. Oh maybe because after knowing each other for weeks they had kissed each other three times. Three very chaste kisses. A few touches on very non-scandalous parts of their bodies. And now he would be allowed in his bedroom?

He was taking too long to respond so he decided to stop thinking too much.

You are right. It is not. I can leave in 20 minutes. It will take me around 20 minutes to get there. And I have to leave at 5. There is a team thing that I cannot miss.

It doesn’t have to be today. If you are busy.

I am not busy until 5. Until then, I would much rather spend that time with you than write this stupid paper.

So you are just avoiding responsibilities. Wow. Way to make someone feel special.

You are special. *wink* Now let me get off this phone and get ready. See you soon.

Hudson waited a minute for a response but turned the screen off when none came through.

He almost put cologne on but decided against it. His father hated certain strong smells and from what he had gathered from Connor, he also had sensory issues.

Sensory issues that made him like to touch things. Once Hudson realized that, he started to notice how often Connor would use his hands. If they were not clasped together, he was touching something.

“Hi.” Hudson smiled as Connor opened the apartment building door for him. “I’m early.”

“Good.” Connor returned the smile and looked down at Hudson’s chest as he passed by him. “You look nice.”

“The team thing is a fundraiser.” Hudson followed Connor to the elevator. “People give more money when we dress nice. Especially older women.”

“What age do you typically date?” Connor leaned back against the elevator wall with his hands behind him.

“My age?” Hudson shrugged. “You want like a range or something?”

“No.” Connor pressed off against the wall and started to his apartment. As he walked, his left arm went out and he traced along the wall with his fingertip. “I have never dated anyone your age. Which sounds like I date a lot more than I have. My only relationship was with someone much older than you.”

“Is that because you are so mature?” Hudson rested his hand on Connor's lower back while he opened the door for them. “So wise with your ability to learn languages and read people’s minds?”

“I don’t read people’s minds.” Connor closed the door behind them and leaned in closer to him. His eyes stayed on Hudson’s eyes and Hudson smiled. “I take in everything and analyze it quicker than others. It can piss people off. They think I’m being rude and not letting them finish speaking. But really my brain already finished their thought and got bored waiting.”

“What am I-” Hudson was cut off by Connor’s lips.

Lips that moved away and then were right back.

Hands that were holding the sides of his dress shirt.

And his tongue moving into his mouth.

Breathing out through his nose, Hudson opened his mouth to chase his tongue.

Right as he felt his heart starting to beat faster, Connor jerked back from him.

“I’m sorry.” Hudson stepped backward and ran into the door. “It felt good and I thought-”

“You thought right.” Connor was looking down at Hudson’s feet as he tensed his arms as he clasped his hands together. “I thought it was better today, but you make it worse.”

“I’m sorry.” Hudson leaned his head down to try and find Connor’s eyes. Once he had them and Connor straightened up to look at him, he smiled. “How do I make it worse?”

“I don’t date people my age because they…” Connor tilted his head and looked up and then over before back to him.

His eyes stayed on him but he didn’t say anything.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now.” Hudson smiled and raised his hands up between them. “We can put it on a shelf and come back to it later.”

“Are you going to leave?” Connor let out a slow breath and then took in a deep one.

“Not until 5.” Hudson hovered his hands over Connor’s upper arms and pressed them down once he got Connor nodding his approval. “What film did you pick based on our compatibility?”

“There were a few actually.” Connor raised his heels up and pressed into Hudson’s hands before taking a step forward. “But I decided on the most basic choice.”

“Are we off to see the Wizard?” Hudson laughed when Connor lowered himself down onto his heels.

“We don’t have to pay attention to it.” Connor nodded his head after Hudson did. “So we can…”

“Talk?” Hudson smiled at the large grin that spread across his face. Taking in his eyes, Hudson saw they were green. “I thought your eyes were blue.”

“They change color.” Connor pressed up against Hudson’s hands. “My mother jokes that they are my built-in mood rings. It has to do with the lighting. Don’t worry, they don’t turn red or anything. Unless I’m crying. They alternate within the blue-green spectrum.”

“Cool.” Hudson pressed on Connor’s arms and started walking them toward the bedroom. “I will follow the blue-green brick road to your room.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Connor twisted himself to walk forward. “But okay.”

Hudson did not hide that he was taking in everything he could about Connor’s room.

Whereas the rest of the apartment was sterile, Connor’s room felt alive with his personality.

He had a desk with stacks of books on it.

A soft green paint color covering the walls.

A bed set that matched.

And several pillows of various textures and sizes.

His closet was closed, but Hudson could imagine that it was organized in a similar way.

“I will make an exception to outside clothes being on my bed because I need to wash the covers tonight.” Connor took off most of the pillows and placed them on a chair next to the bed. “It is harder to wash those. You don’t get to play with them.”

“What do I get to play with?” Hudson followed Connor onto the bed and sat with his back against the headboard.

Connor was sitting to the right of him with his legs crossed and his back sharing the headboard. Connor bumped his knee against Hudson’s lower thigh and started the movie.

The film was projected onto the wall in front of them, with the soft green adding a soothing hue to the sepia-tone film.

Connor did not answer him.

Looking to the right, Hudson found Connor staring at him. “What?”

Connor smiled and pressed his finger down the length of Hudson’s thigh. His eyes followed the path of his finger. “People have always called me an old soul. I thought deeper and felt more than other kids my age. I related better to adults. Until I became one and people my age were still in a different world than I was. Older people typically do not have the same hangups as people our age. They can overlook things that are not important.”

“So what do you see in me?” Hudson kept his tone light. He was somewhat joking, but he also wanted to know the answer. “People call me childish most of the time.”

“Maybe I need to not take life so seriously all the time.” Connor opened his hand and rested it on Hudson’s thigh. His eyes followed up Hudson’s body to his face. “And you are nice to me. You didn’t laugh like most people do when I get overwhelmed and act strange. You are patient. You don’t like rules, but you have followed all the rules I gave you. You have a kind soul. Who wouldn’t want to be something more with you?”

As Dorothy walked into the The Land of Oz, the film turning from sepia-tone to vibrant technicolor, Hudson felt himself falling into a new world as well.

He had never been in love.

In fact, serious relationships had always scared Hudson. There was too much pressure with being attached to just one person.

He always thought that he was destined to be a perpetual bachelor.

It wasn’t the first time Hudson had been wrong about his life.

Hudson rested his hand on top of Connor’s hand while they watched the film.

Other than quick, random comments about what was happening in the movie, they sat in the comfortable silence that Hudson had never had with anyone else before.

Hudson ignored the time, but Connor made sure that he left at 5 to get to his event. They were not able to finish the film, but they both knew how it ended.

“I will text you later.” Hudson leaned forward and kissed Connor quickly near the door. “This was nice.”

“It was.” Connor kissed him again, keeping their lips pressed together a bit longer.

“See you.” Hudson took a step backward out the door and kept his eyes on him until he was forced to turn around.

Connor watched him until he walked into the elevator.

Leaning back against the elevator wall, Hudson pressed his head back and smiled.

They texted a few messages back and forth.

Mainly about what they were doing, but nothing serious.

Connor asked Hudson to come to his apartment four days later but Hudson said that he had a game. He could come afterward.

Connor did not respond, but Hudson didn’t worry about it. Connor did that at times.

Dribbling the ball down the court toward the hoop, Hudson paused long enough to aim and watched as the ball went through the hoop.

They were in the lead and the other team had increased their defense, but with only a few minutes left in the game, the Wildcats were likely going to keep their lead.

High-fiving Landen, they both followed through and smacked each other on the ass with a jump.

Landen ran off to his position and Hudson looked over to the crowd cheering for him.

Starting to run to his position, Hudson paused as his eyes landed on someone standing against the wall near the exit.

Connor was wearing a Wildcats sweatshirt with the hood up and his arms wrapped inside the pouch. One of the strings in his mouth and his eyes on him.

As their eyes locked, they both smiled at one another and the sounds of the crowd fell away.

Connor Not A Sports Fan was at his game.

If he was not in the middle of a game, he would have run over and kissed him.

Instead, he focused on the game and played even harder with someone he wanted to impress watching him.

Each time he looked in his direction, Connor was watching him with those intense eyes. His mouth chewing on the string and ignoring everyone else in the room.

He scored the last point of the game and finished his high-five ritual with a teammate before looking to Connor.

Only, this time he was not there.

It was loud with everyone cheering and the sound system blasting music so he did not blame Connor for needing to leave.

He only cared that he had been there.

His grin stayed on his face as they continued their celebration in the locker room. His teammates probably assumed that Hudson was happy about their win, but it was solely because Connor had come to his game.

Waving off his friends asking for him to hang out with them at a club, Hudson ran to the L.

He only wanted to see one person.

And from his text message to him, Connor felt the same.

Chapter Text

“You came to watch me play?” Hudson grinned as he rushed through the door to Connor’s apartment building.

“You saw me, right?” Connor increased his steps to catch up to Hudson already waiting by the open elevator. “Do you need to pee or something?”

“No.” Hudson shook his head and walked Connor back against the wall of the elevator.

Connor’s eyes narrowed on Hudson’s lips as he smiled. “You didn’t see me?”

“No, I don’t have to pee.” Hudson rested his hands against Connor’s upper arms and pressed him back so he was flush against the wall. “Yes, I saw you there. We won.”

“Because I was there?” Connor raised his heels to raise himself up against Hudson’s hands while his hands gripped Hudson’s jacket. “Do you normally lose?”

Ding.

The door opened on the ground floor.

Instead of answering him, Hudson leaned in closer and waited for Connor to raise his eyes up to his eyes.

He never got his eyes.

But Connor nodded his head and Hudson pressed their lips together, both of them smiling into the kiss.

Hudson breathed out through nose and started to move back to press the button for Connor’s floor, but stayed as Connor opened his mouth and brushed his tongue against Hudson’s bottom lip.

Hudson met his tongue and moaned into the kiss.

Connor increased his grip on Hudson’s jacket and pulled him in closer as they both deepened the kiss.

Hudson tilted his head further to the right and found his tongue.

The door shut on its own.

Connor breathed out against Hudson’s cheek and mimicked Hudson’s moan.

The elevator moving made Hudson break away and release the pressure he had on Connor’s upper body.

“Good evening, gentlemen.” An elderly woman smiled at Hudson and then looked at Connor, mostly hiding behind him. “Can I press a button for you?”

“Nine, please.” Hudson answered her and returned her smile as she pressed the button for them. “Thank you.”

Hudson felt Connor retract further from him and his hands moved up to his chest to clamp together. Connor was looking up toward the ceiling when Hudson checked his face and decided to stay where he was at until the woman would leave their space.

Much like he blocked the other students from seeing Connor. Only this time, he gave him pressure on his upper arms while they waited for the 7th floor.

“Enjoy your evening.” The woman called back to them as she started down the hallway.

As the door began to close, Hudson heard laughter echoing back to them.

“You okay?” Hudson stepped back but kept his hands on Connor.

Connor’s eyes moved to the side and then looped down.

He didn’t answer him, but he pressed away from Hudson when the door opened.

Connor led them to his door and stood facing it.

Hudson pressed his hand down Connor’s back, starting at his shoulders and resting it on his lower back. “You got the key?”

“You got the key?” Connor pressed back against Hudson’s hand and let out a slow breath and then he repeated it again quieter.

Connor shook out his arms and found the key.

His hand moved slowly, but he was able to unlock it and press against the door to allow them instead.

“Fuck.” Connor let out a slow breath and continued down the hallway to his bedroom. “I will be back.”

Hudson nodded his head to Connor’s retreating form and started replaying what had just happened.

He found the secret to kissing him without Connor jerking away from him. That had been fine.

More than fine actually.

Hudson pressed his lips together and smiled.

Their kisses, while brief, up until then had been amazing, but that one felt different.

That one spread the warmth through him and made him want to explore how they could increase that feeling together.

If only the woman had not interrupted them.

“You are still here.” Connor snuck up behind Hudson staring out the window in Connor’s living room.

Hudson turned and took a few steps to get closer to him. “I’m not going anywhere. Unless you want me to go.”

“I want you to stay here.” Connor had one arm wrapped around his waist and his other arm pressed against it while he moved his fingers along his jawline. “That is why I date older. That, what just happened, freaks people out and they leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Hudson smiled and took another step so he was directly in front of him. Pressing his hands against Connor’s hips, Hudson kept his focus on Connor’s eyes. “I’m not freaked out. Are you okay?”

“That felt very good.” Connor nodded his head and raised his eyes to Hudson’s face. “I want to do that more with you. She surprised me. She embarrassed me. I shut down. I’m glad you stayed. That was the worst part. Thinking you were going to leave.”

“I’m not leaving.” Hudson leaned in and kissed Connor’s forehead. “Do you want to watch a movie? Or do I have to take off my clothes before I’m allowed on your bed?”

Connor started laughing and wrapped his arms around Hudson’s back while resting his head on Hudson’s shoulder.

“I'm not joking.” Hudson laughed with him and squeezed him closer to him with his arms. “I’ll take them all off. I have a great body underneath these clothes.”

The comfortable silence they had returned.

Hudson had been concerned, but he had told him the truth. He was not freaked out. He understood that Connor was not fully in control of what had happened and it was just how his body responded to unexpected stress.

He hated that people had hurt Connor by leaving because of that.

“So how did we land on the clothes?” Hudson swayed them a bit and then pulled back so he could see Connor’s face. “On or off?”

“We could try off.” Connor’s eyes rose from his lips to his eyes. “I can feel your body underneath the clothes and am sure that you are beautiful. Not that it matters to me.”

“Off?” Hudson squeezed him tight. “Are we ready for that?”

“Are you going to leave?” Connor’s eyes moved down.

“No.” Hudson shook his head. “I’m not going to leave.”

“We are ready for that.” Connor nodded his head and leaned in to kiss him.

The kiss built like the one in the elevator but there was no one to interrupt them.

Connor pulled on Hudson’s jacket and Hudson forced himself to move back enough to take it off.

Both of them were breathing hard as they removed their own shirts and then stood staring at one another.

The brown sweater did not leave much to the imagination, but seeing his bare skin made Hudson want to touch him more.

“How far are we going here?” Hudson took in a deep breath and reached for him, running both of his hands down his arms. “You tell me.”

“Stay like this for now?” Connor looked toward Hudson’s hand on his arm and worked on his own breathing. “Can we sit down?”

Hudson kicked off his shoes before following Connor to the sofa.

Keeping his eyes on him as he sat down next to him, Hudson smiled and took in the full sight in front of him.

God, he was built.

How someone built like him was spending his free hours working on a linguistics doctorate degree was beyond Hudson’s comprehension.

“Sorry.” Hudson let out a short laugh and he found Connor’s eyes on him. “I got distracted for a minute.”

Connor’s hands lowered from holding each other near his chest and moved his fingertips down Hudson’s chest.

“I like that.” Hudson leaned in closer and twisted his body until Connor’s back was pressed against the sofa and Hudson was half laying on top of him but his feet were still on the floor.

Connor’s eyes closed briefly and his mouth curled up in a small smile.

Deep pressure against him helped calm him enough to stay with him.

Connor’s fingertips moved down Hudson’s back as Hudson hovered near his face.

The dichotomy of Connor wanting deep pressure but using the lightest of touch on him made Hudson close his eyes.

Connor moved up to kiss him and Hudson snapped back into the moment.

Putting more of his body weight against him, Hudson deepened the kiss and moaned into it.

Connor definitely copied him on that one.

They lost themselves in kisses and touches until Hudson was lying fully on top of him. The sofa was barely big enough for the both of them, but they made the space work.

Mainly because both of them were enjoying being as close together as possible.

“I need to breathe.” Connor pressed his head back against the sofa cushion and smiled up at him with a bliss out look on his face. “Let’s breathe for a minute.”

Hudson nodded his head and followed his advice.

Both of them were getting hard.

“Do you want to do more?” Hudson shifted his weight to his arm and moved his finger along the edge of Connor’s jawline like he had done earlier to himself. “I’m good with this. Or we could do more.”

Connor pressed his head against Hudson’s finger moving along his jawline and let out a short breath that almost sounded like a cry.

“Hey.” Hudson cupped Connor’s face when he saw the wetness filling his eyes. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Everything right.” Connor closed his eyes and rested his head back. “You are doing everything right.”

Hudson lowered his head down and kissed Connor’s cheek before resting his head there.

Both of them breathed together and allowed the silence to return.

He didn’t mean to, but he fell asleep to Connor’s fingertips moving up and down his arm.

Chapter Text

Pressing his chin out, he rubbed the soft material of the hoody against the lower part of his face.

As it fell over his lips, he smiled at the memory of last night.

The kiss in the elevator had been amazing, but the one on the sofa left both of them breathless.

And it had not been interrupted but stopped because both of them agreed to pause.

Hudson's hands pressing against his arms kept him inside his body enough to allow the kiss to continue in the elevator.

But having Hudson's body weight on top of Connor grounded him fully into the moment.

Whatever stress that was still trapped inside of his body due to the woman surprising him was released. He was relaxed inside of his thoughts, but tense within his body only due to the pleasant feeling moving through him.

Hudson was not shy with him. He touched him along his chest and body without hesitation.

At one point his hand moved underneath his ass and pulled him up against him.

He felt Hudson getting hard along with him and it made him need to pause to breathe.

His experiences with sex were limited.

And most of those experiences had not been pleasant.

His last boyfriend did not care for physical affection.

Their relationship was based on a shared view on the world and love of languages. He was a professor at his undergrad university and took an interest in Connor as a student before pursuing more with him.

Connor loved the attention from the older man. From someone that was nice to him and he could speak in three languages with.

He would have liked more physical contact, but he never told him that. He was the only romantic partner that had not distanced himself from Connor once he learned more about him.

Connor fell into him and started to structure his days around the professor. He helped him prepare lessons and grade assignments. Connor lost his paying job because his time was filled with his own coursework and helping the professor.

That continued for a few months until the professor ended it with him with no warning.

It was only afterward that Connor pieced together that the professor had only been using him. He had no intention of having an actual relationship with him. Connor was just easy to manipulate because he was naive to the imbalance in their relationship.

He wanted to be with someone so bad to help cure the loneliness that he had felt his whole life, that he ignored all the red flags.

That relationship ended in his junior year and Connor had not pursued a relationship with anyone until Hudson.

The beautiful man that was sleeping on his sofa. His soft breathing increased to a snore periodically throughout the night.

Connor laid underneath him for a few hours thinking through all the thoughts of having Hudson in his apartment brought up.

His mind started to spiral in a bad direction.

Hudson could still leave.

Connor could open up to him and trust him with himself and Hudson could break his heart.

Take away the hope that his chronic loneliness might ease.

Once he felt his body respond to the stress, he carefully moved out from underneath him. Hudson mumbled something, but stayed asleep.

Connor went to his room and laid on his bed.

Stretched out with his hands on his chest and his eyes on the ceiling.

Lying on his back had always calmed him after a long day. For some reason being in his bed and on his back allowed everything from the day to fade away. Instant relief that felt amazing after holding it in all day.

He knew that he would not be able to sleep with Hudson in his apartment, even if Connor was removed from him, so he did not even try.

Instead, he allowed his thoughts to turn off and his mind to switch to sounds he had collected over the years.

He went through film scripts. Beautiful passages in books. Different languages. Songs.

The songs lead to making sounds with his mouth and tapping on his chest.

Once he couldn’t lie there any longer, he picked out his favorite sweatshirt.

He sat across from Hudson. Who was still sleeping soundly on his sofa.

On the floor with his back to the wall and his knees drawn up his chest.

He covered his mouth and jaw with the material of the hoody and tilted his head to the side.

Because Hudson was horizontal in his sight line, but also because it felt nice to look from that angle.

The sun had risen over an hour ago and Hudson had yet to wake up.

Connor ran his fingers down the sides of his calves and smiled.

Hudson had stayed.

He was going to wake up in his apartment and they could have breakfast together.

He would ignore his coursework for the day.

Connor was struggling with graduate school.

He had put all of his effort into his undergrad courses. He took extra classes. Helped the professor. Worked jobs here and there because living is expensive.

He got A’s in all of his courses. He graduated with honors.

If Connor would have slowed down enough, or even had friends within the university, he would have found that his level of effort was excessive. No one else was putting that much of their time into making sure they were “perfect” at school.

Graduate school after undergrad had always been the plan.

He had no plan after graduate school.

Which likely was not going to end anytime soon because Connor had little energy to put toward his studies.

All that effort to get himself to where he was had drained him.

He told himself that he was going to allow himself time to breathe for the next few years.

He could stop cosplaying as a human and just be himself.

Only, he had no idea who he was.

He was a mosaic of people’s traits that he had collected over the years.

A side effect of studying people and mimicking them.

“Good morning.” Hudson mumbled against the sofa and smiled at him with a sleepy look on his face. “Why are you so far away?”

“You were asleep.” Connor allowed the material of the hoody to drop off his face, but he kept his head tilted because it seemed like too much effort to straighten it. “I promise I am not a serial killer. I don’t even like to kill insects. I capture and release them.”

“That seems like something you would do.” Hudson pressed his arms against the sofa and sat leaning forward. “Now I have to pee.”

“Bathroom is down the hallway.” Connor laughed and straightened his head to look up at him. “But you know that.”

“Be right back.” Hudson winked at him and Connor winked back without thinking about it. “Okay, that one was fun. I’m going to remember that.”

“Go piss.” Connor gripped his ankles and kept the smile on his face until Hudson had his back turned.

Go piss.

Go piss.

Shaking his head, Connor pressed up through his feet and stood.

He raised up on his toes and reached for the ceiling with his hands, sighing at the full body stretch after sitting on the floor for so long.

Hudson had returned once he was flat on his feet.

He was speaking to him, but he didn’t hear his words.

He read most of it on his lips.

Hudson needed to leave. He had a class that he couldn’t miss any more of without losing credit.

“I will go with you.” Connor moved closer to him and rested his hands on his forearms. “Not your class, of course, but to…”

“Work on your own stuff?” Hudson’s mouth was smiling. “I understand. Can I borrow clothes?”

Connor nodded his head because he didn’t trust that he had words.

Hudson left for another building on campus and they parted with a quick kiss.

Clicking his tongue, Connor focused on a few feet of the ground in front of him and made his way to the grad office.

Why are you so far away?

Good morning. Why are you so far away?

Connor smiled to himself and pressed his hands further into his jacket pockets.

“Hey, watch it!” Connor heard next to him and he raised his eyes to find an angry face staring him down. “Fucking get your head out of your ass.”

“Sorry.” Connor raised his hand and then quickly put it back into his pocket. With the pressure, he found that his shoulder hurt.

Oh, he had run into the person the angry face was attached to. They both must have run into each other hard to get that reaction from him and the pain spreading through his shoulder.

His mind would have started to rerun that moment and analyze it some more, but it had something else to think about.

Hudson and his brilliant smile.

The sound of his laugh.

The feel of his hands on him.

Sitting in the office chair, Connor took out his phone and went to the folder he had started a few weeks ago.

The folder held interviews Hudson had done for the basketball team. There was one highlight reel of the points Hudson had scored during a game. It was the most in one game that the university ever had. There was also several social media videos that the team had filmed. Each one showing Hudson's chaotic personality around his teammates.

He went to his favorite one. The one where Hudson had a flirty look on his face throughout the video.

Swirling to the right and left in the chair with his toes, Connor settled in with a smile on his face.

He would spend his time with the videos until Hudson was done with his class.

Then they were going to meet up and go walk along the water.

They might be on their sixth date now. He was not sure if last night counted as a date.

He would ask Hudson if they needed to still keep count or if they could just say that they were together now.

Chapter Text

The hiss of the waves cresting near their feet added to the melody that Connor was half singing.

Hudson was focusing on where he had heard the melody before and only realized that he was bringing them closer to the water when his feet began to get cold from the wet sand.

Each time Hudson checked in with him, Connor’s eyes were vaguely looking in front of them and he did not appear to know that he was signing out loud.

Nor did he appear to know that his arm was brushing against Hudson’s arm with every other step.

Hudson wanted to ask Connor where he saw their relationship going, but Connor did not appear to be with him.

Hudson’s mother called him as he was walking to the language building to meet Connor. She frequently called him to ask how his studies were going and worry if Hudson was putting in the effort needed. She didn’t ask him about his basketball games because she could follow that on the internet.

Hudson told her about Connor.

About how he saw himself falling in love with him and wanting her to meet him.

She was shocked. Hudson had never shared anyone with his family before.

She cautioned him to protect his heart because the relationship was still new, but also said that she was excited to meet the man that made her hear Hudson’s smile over the phone.

Connor was furthest away from the water and let out a little shriek when his feet met the cold sand.

“Sorry.” Hudson laughed at the annoyed face Connor made. “What? I was distracted by you. And thoughts. And thoughts about you.”

“About me?” The annoyance was replaced with a large grin. “You were having thoughts about me?”

“I have several thoughts about you.” Hudson returned the grin and rested his hands on Connor’s upper arms. “Some of them are sweet. Some of them are a bit dirty.”

“Yeah?” Connor stepped in closer and looked up to his eyes. “Tell me about them.”

“The sweet ones?” Hudson kissed the side of Connor’s mouth and then up to Connor’s ear before asking, “Or the dirty ones?”

Connor took a deep breath and ran his fingers up Hudson’s chest, inside of his jacket and along the shirt Hudson had borrowed from him that morning.

One hand stayed near his chest, but the other moved to brush the edge of his thumb against the skin right over his collar. Connor’s eyes narrowed on this thumb moving and he took in another deep breath without answering the question.

Hudson felt Connor shiver underneath his hands and he let out a soft moan at how delicately Connor was touching him.

“Are we together now?” Connor grinned at his thumb and then closed his eyes. “Are you my boyfriend?”

“I would like to be.” Hudson shivered as Connor’s hand moved up his throat to the back of his head and continued the delicate movement with his fingers through his hair. “God, that feels good.”

“I would like to be.”

Hudson heard his accent repeated to him and opened his eyes to find Connor looking at him.

“Then I am.” Hudson allowed his head to be moved forward and met Connor for the kiss.

Connor’s fingers tightened in his hair as Hudson took over the kiss.

Tilting his head, Hudson lowered his hands to Connor’s waist and pulled him in closer.

Connor fell against him and moaned into the kiss.

Hudson was the one that pulled away first for air this time. Connor’s lips followed him until he opened his eyes and saw that Hudson was taking deeper breaths.

A wave hit the back of Hudson’s heel and reminded him that they were on a public beach during the middle of the day.

He didn’t care if anyone saw him kissing, but what he wanted to do would need privacy.

“Can we go to your apartment?” Hudson took in a shaky breath as Connor’s fingers released his hair and his other hand gripped the waistband of the joggers Hudson was wearing. “Would that be okay?”

“Okay?” Connor raised his chin up and immediately stepped away from him. His eyes went vague like they had been when they were walking and then just as quickly back to normal. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Hudson took his hand and smiled at the grin that spread across Connor’s face as their palms met. “We are going to your apartment?”

“Yes.” Connor nodded his head and used their joined hands to pull Hudson back to where they had started walking from. “We are going to my apartment.”

Connor walked backwards for a few more steps and then turned as he started half singing the same melody.

“Is that the song we used for the team video yesterday?” Hudson laughed to Connor looking over to him quickly and then forward. “You watch the videos we post? I think you are lying about not being a sport’s fan.”

“I am not a sport’s fan.” Connor nodded his head forward. “I am a fan of you.”

“How are you real?” Hudson pulled on his hand to stop him and turn him to face him. “Do you feel it too? It’s fast, but it feels right.”

“I feel it too.” Connor looked down to their feet and then slowly back up to Hudson’s face. “I don’t know if it is fast.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter.” Hudson shook his head twice and further explained himself. “Even if it is fast, it doesn’t matter. Not that this, what we have, what we are starting, doesn’t matter.”

“I am real.” Connor took a step to the side and started them back to the sidewalk. “But what do you mean by that? Why would I not be real?”

“I have never met anyone like you. I mean that in the best possible way.” Hudson felt that Connor needed to hear what he meant so he continued to explain himself. “I have never just clicked with someone like I have with you. In the beginning, I was chasing you because I knew there was something about you. But now I know that it was because we were meant to be together.”

“That is intense.” Connor started brushing the sand off his feet and onto the sidewalk.

“Too intense?” Hudson brushed the sand off his own feet. “I would rather be honest than hide what I am feeling.”

“I would rather you be honest than hide what you are...” Connor brushed his hands down his thighs as he stood up with his boots on. “Feeling. I will be honest with you.”

“Ready?” Hudson ignored the sand still on his feet inside his socks and shifted his feet inside his shoes. “I hate that feeling of sand inside socks.”

“Thank you for being honest.” Connor said with a neutral tone and then broke out into laughter as he took Hudson’s hand.

Hudson laughed at his joke, but mainly at Connor’s reaction to his own joke.

Connor kept touching him as they waited for the train to arrive. Small touches on his arm. Stomach. Shoulder. Lower part of his back.

Hudson was able to hold it together until Connor ran his thumb along the skin right above his collar.

“You need to be careful touching me right now.” Hudson leaned in until his mouth was near Connor’s ear. Speaking low so only he could hear him, Hudson kept the honesty going. “That is going to make me hard.”

Connor pressed his head closer to Hudson’s face still near his ear and rubbed his cheek against Hudson’s ear.

And kept his thumb rubbing against Hudson’s skin.

“You are a tease.” Hudson kissed Connor’s ear and moved his hand inside Connor’s jacket. It rested on his lower back and pulled Connor in closer to him as he continued to kiss his ear. “I love that you are a tease.”

“Love.” Connor swallowed and turned his face in so he could kiss Hudson’s neck. “I only tease when I am comfortable with someone.”

Finding his forehead, Hudson pressed his against Connor’s and kept his voice low. “I love that you are comfortable with me.”

“Love.” Connor’s hands moved down Hudson’s chest to his stomach and he hooked his index fingers into Hudson’s waistband. “Why do you keep saying that word?”

“I didn’t realize that I was saying it so much.” Hudson heard the train come to a stop and he reluctantly moved back to make sure they didn’t miss it. “Ready?”

“Love.” Connor repeated the word in a low voice and then quieter again. “Yes.”

They sat across from one another because there were not two seats together.

Hudson wasn’t sure who made the first silly face, but he knew that Connor was the first one who laughed.

Thankfully for everyone else on the train, there were only a few stops until Connor’s stop.

Taking each other’s hand, they bumped against each other as they left the train and navigated through the busy station to get outside.

Hudson made sure that the elevator door was closed and he pressed the 9 button before he moved in to kiss Connor, but stopped at the look on Connor’s face.

And his body posture.

His arms were around his waist and his feet crossed over one another.

“Sorry.” Hudson moved so his back was against the opposite wall. “I didn’t think.”

“We cannot do that for a while.” Connor shifted his feet and leaned forward before pressing back against the wall. “Sorry.”

Connor started it in a Canadian accent but switched to American, making the word two syllables.

“It’s fine.” Hudson used his arm to hold open the door when Connor did not move off the wall. “Take your time.”

The doors tried to shut, but Hudson’s arm stopped them. The sound appeared to allow Connor to press off the wall and he led them to his apartment.

His hand shook as he opened the door, but he was able to without much difficulty.

“I need a minute.” Connor did not stop on his way to his bedroom. “Sorry.”

Connor made it three syllables by the time he got the whole word out.

Running his hands through his hair, Hudson took in a deep breath and kept his elbows bent.

After ten minutes of looking out the window, Hudson decided to text him.

Do you want me to leave?

No.

Okay. I will be here when you are ready.

Hudson took off his jacket and sat on the sofa.

He scrolled through his phone for a few more minutes until he received another text.

I need to sleep. I didn’t last night.

Hudson started to text him back when another message came through.

I’m sorry I am a tease. I wanted to but I need to sleep. I’m sorry.

Can I bring you dinner tonight? Anything you want.

Connor started to type and then the dots stopped dancing.

Hudson stood to leave and started to put on his jacket, when he heard Connor’s door open.

Hudson rested his jacket over his arm and waited for Connor to make his way to him down the short hallway.

His eyes were wet and he was rubbing against his jawline when he asked, “Can you bring me fries?”

“Yes.” Hudson nodded his head and smiled. “I can bring you fries. I will even go back to the zoo to get them for you. Maybe give the tall one my phone number and get them for free.”

“The zoo is closed now.” Connor walked the rest of the way toward him and stopped with his eyes on Hudson’s mouth. “I like most fries. Not soggy ones. Or too crisp. Okay, I only like some fries.”

“Where should I get them from?” Hudson took a slow step forward and paused until he knew that Connor was okay with him getting closer. “I need some meat too. Where should I get meat? Are you particular about your meat?”

Connor broke into the same laughter Hudson had gotten from him on the train and Hudson felt the ball of stress inside his chest release at the sound.

“I am.” Connor said through his laughs. Covering his face with his hands, he worked on quieting his laughter. Once he was quiet and had taken a few deeper breaths, he lowered his hands and wrapped them around his waist. “There is a place around the corner from here. R Public House. Their chicken strips and fries are always made the same.”

“How long do you want to sleep?” Hudson put on his jacket and smiled.

“Come back around 8?” Connor swallowed and took in a deep breath. “Yeah. Eight.”

“Can I kiss you?” Hudson didn’t smile because he didn’t want to put pressure on him.

But he did smile when Connor took a big step forward to kiss Hudson.

It was brief, much like their first few kisses, but it allowed Hudson to release the last of the stress in his chest.

Being with Connor meant that he would need to change his plans at times.

But he was worth it.

“See you at 8.” Hudson gave him one more kiss and allowed the door to shut behind him.

Walking down the hallway, Hudson smiled to himself and moved his hand out to run his finger down the wall.

Yeah, he was worth it.

Chapter Text

“Every dipping sauce.” Connor ran his fingertip over the top of the lids in front of them. “Did you want all of the sauces?”

“I didn’t know which one you would like. Or which one you have with fries or if it was different for the chicken.” Hudson opened the lid to the hot honey and then started on the other ones. They had a small tray table in front of them with the chicken strips and the dips. “So I got them all.”

Connor bumped his elbow against Hudson’s elbow as he continued to eat his fries. He had the container held close to his chest while he watched Hudson finish opening the lids.

Hudson grinned as Connor crossed his legs and hit his thigh with his knee.

“What?” Connor paused with a fry near his mouth and then put it back in the container when Hudson started to laugh. “Tell me why you are laughing.”

“Nothing.” Hudson dipped his chicken strip in the hot honey and nodded his head at the taste. “This is good chicken.”

“Why were you laughing?” Connor turned toward him and fully bumped his knee against Hudson’s thigh making Hudson smile. “What?”

Hudson looked down to Connor’s knee and then back to Connor’s reddening face. “Personal space is nonexistent.”

“Sorry.” Connor set his fries down and used both of his hands to push himself away from Hudson.

“No. Come back.” Hudson reached for him with sauce on his fingers and laughed as Connor moved away quicker and kicked the table in the process. A few of the dips tipped over and blended together on the table. “Now we have another dip. A blend of all of those.”

“Sorry.” Connor said in a Canadian accent and pulled his knees up to his chest and held his ankles. “Thank you for bringing food. And nine dips.”

Hudson wiped the sauce off of his fingers and moved the table forward. Scooting across the floor, he pulled his knees up to his chest and pressed his toes against Connor’s toes. “I like that you touch me. I like touching you. I was laughing because I couldn’t touch you at first and now the concept of personal space doesn’t seem to exist for us. But, I like that. I was not making fun of you or telling you that I did not want you to touch me. If I don’t want you to touch me, I will tell you.”

“I like touching people that I am comfortable with.” Connor moved his toes over Hudson’s and brushed his fingers up and down his own bare calves. “People that I trust. It can be a bit much for some people.”

“I will tell you if it is too much.” Hudson pulled his toes out from Connor’s toes and slid to the side of him. Once he was close enough, he moved his hand down Connor’s upper arm and rested it on his elbow. “I would like for you to touch me more.”

“Where do you want me to touch you?” Connor copied Hudson’s grin and looked up from Hudson’s hand on him to his face. Their eyes met and Connor bit his lower lip as Hudson leaned in closer to him.

“Everywhere.” Hudson leaned in more and kissed his shoulder. “Your fries are getting cold.”

“I’m finished with them.” Connor moved his hand to Hudson’s arm and copied the same light movement he had been doing on his calf. “Your chicken is getting cold.”

“We can re-heat it later.” Hudson kissed the back of Connor’s hand when it reached his upper arm. Hudson smiled against his skin at the gasp he got from Connor. “Should we go to your bedroom? I can take all these clothes off.”

“Off.” Connor nodded his head and pressed his hand against Hudson’s knees to lower them. His hand moved up Hudson’s inner thigh and paused with fingertips pressed into his pants. “I want to stay out here. Watching a film on my bed is different from us touching each other. I still need to be able to sleep in my bed.”

Hudson told himself to keep breathing and look away from how close Connor’s hand was to his dick.

He made the mistake and looked at Connor’s face and licked his lips at Connor staring at him as he bit his lip.

“Stay on the floor or move to the sofa?” Hudson covered Connor’s hand with his own and moved it further up his thigh until there was no other place to touch by his dick. “Is that okay?”

“Sofa.” Connor bit his lip again but slowly released it from his teeth. His eyes met Hudson’s eyes and he smiled. “Follow me.”

Connor moved himself backwards until his back was against the sofa and lifted himself up. His eyes tracked Hudson moving toward him and shivered as Hudson leaned against him until he was pressing him against the armrest.

Connor pulled at the back of Hudson’s shirt and kept his hands on his back until Hudson removed it. Moving his hands to Hudson’s stomach, Connor narrowed his eyes on his hands touching Hudson's skin.

Hudson was going to ask him if he was still okay but he moved his hands down to loop his fingers into Hudson’s waistband.

Hudson nodded at him when Connor’s eyes went quickly to his face and then had to close his eyes.

His hand was inside his underwear and fully pressed against him.

Letting out a low sound, Hudson opened his eyes and watched Connor watching his hand moving along him. Connor was biting at his lip and his breath quickened as Hudson became harder.

Hudson moaned and shifted his weight on his arm as Connor’s hand gained more confidence.

Connor’s free hand pressed his pants down over his ass and he let out a similar moan to Hudson’s as he saw more of him.

Hudson kissed Connor's hairline and then down to his ear. He would have tried to kiss his lips, but Connor was too focused on his hand.

“I’m close.” Hudson rested his head against the side of Connor’s head and took in a long breath.

Connor twisted his hand just right and Hudson’s arm gave out as he fell against him with a deep moan.

Hudson came against Connor’s hand and shook as his body tensed with his release. Hudson was breathing against Connor’s cheek when he came back to himself.

Connor was gently pulling at the short hairs on Hudson’s stomach with his index finger and thumb until Hudson covered his hand with his own to stop him.

“That felt really good.” Hudson smiled and moved Connor’s hand off of him. Pressing his hand against Connor’s stomach, Hudson felt him take in a deep breath and then start laughing.

Connor leaned his head over into Hudson’s chest and took in a deep breath before a short one. His laughter stopped and he shivered as Hudson’s hand moved down Connor’s stomach.

“Can I?” Hudson kissed the top of Connor’s head and smiled into his short curls as Connor nodded his head against his lips.

Connor was fully hard when Hudson moved his hand against him. Squeezing him, Connor breathed out against Hudson’s chest and pressed his forehead hard into Hudson’s chest.

He came quickly and shook underneath him as his hand gripped hard into Hudson’s side.

Hudson stilled his hand and held him until Connor started breathing normally again.

Connor’s hand moved to his lower back and pulled him in when Hudson started to move away from him. “No stay. For a little bit longer. Longer. Stay.”

“Okay.” Hudson kissed the top of Connor’s head and ignored the strain in his arm from continuing to hold his weight against the sofa. “Tell me when.”

“Umm. When.” Connor nodded his head against Hudson’s chest and let out a slow breath.

His fingertips were brushing over Hudson’s lower back and he was mumbling something to himself when Hudson’s arm began to shake from the strain.

Hudson shifted his legs to attempt to relieve some of the pressure in his upper body and Connor’s hand moved away from his back.

“You can move now.” Connor pressed his hands against the sofa and sat up while Hudson adjusted so he was sitting next to him. He leaned his head over and rested it on Hudson’s shoulder as he let out a slow breath.

He might have said something but it was too faint for Hudson to hear him.

Hudson wrapped his arm around Connor’s shoulders and pulled him in closer while giving him pressure.

They breathed together for a while. Hudson giving him pressure and Connor brushing his finger over Hudson’s bare stomach.

“Thank you.” Connor took in a deep breath and moved his head up to look forward.

“You are welcome.” Hudson smiled and squeezed Connor’s upper arm until he looked over to him. “Why are you thanking me?”

“That has never-” Connor cut himself off and started biting at his fingernail on his middle finger.

Hudson rubbed his thumb against Connor’s forearm and waited for him to gather his words.

“That has never gone well with other people.” Connor nodded his head and pulled his fingers away from his mouth. “Yeah. That was nice. Thank you for making it nice.”

“Thank you for making it nice.” Hudson kissed the side of his head and went to kiss his cheek. Only Connor turned and pressed their lips together.

The kiss was brief but it made both of them smile.

After cleaning up and re-heating the chicken, they settled back on the floor to eat.

Connor’s elbow bumped into Hudson’s arm and his knee pressed into Hudson’s thigh.

Hudson grinned but did not make any other mention of it to Connor.

“Where do you live?” Connor asked as he wiped off his hands with a napkin.

“In the frat house off Sheridan.” Hudson watched Connor stand up and moved into the kitchen. He waited until the water turned off before continuing, “Most of the basketball team lives there. I have been there since sophomore year.”

“Do you like living with that many people?” Connor briefly looked at Hudson while he gathered up the containers.

Hudson helped clean the mess and almost forgot to answer the question. “It’s okay. We all know each other pretty well. They are like my brothers. I didn't have siblings growing up. Sometimes I want to kill them, but we mostly love each other.”

“Love.” Connor went to the sink to wash his hands and dried them off while repeating the same word under his breath. “You say that a lot.”

“Maybe I do.” Hudson washed his hands and used the towel Connor handed to him to dry his hands. “Have you always lived on your own?”

“I was forced to have a roommate my first year of undergrad. Everyone had to stay in a dorm.” Connor leaned back against the counter and smiled as Hudson moved in front of him. His hands went to Hudson’s waist and he rubbed his thumbs against his bare skin. “I hated it. I have lived on my own since then. At one point I had two jobs to afford my apartment, but it was worth it. I don’t like sharing my space.”

“What about with me?” Hudson sighed as Connor’s thumbs were removed from his skin. “Would you be able to share your space with me?”

“Hmm. That is a good question.” Connor wrapped his arms around his waist and crossed his foot over the other. He appeared to be thinking and then looked up. “Maybe. Do you want to sleep here tonight? Again?”

“You said you didn’t sleep last night when I was here.” Hudson lowered his head down and found Connor’s eyes while pressing his hands against his upper arms. “Would you be able to sleep if I was here?”

“I slept earlier.” Connor lifted his heel up into Hudson’s hands and nodded his head. “Yeah. So if I could not sleep, it would be okay.”

“I have practice in the morning.” Hudson smiled at the look Connor was giving him. “What?”

“You have a game out of town tomorrow.” Connor shied his eyes down and he reached his hand out to rub against the spot he liked on Hudson’s collarbone. “You will need to fly out early. So no practice.”

“Are you stalking me now?” Hudson laughed to show him he was teasing. “How do you know my schedule better than I do?”

“Stalking. No.” Connor tapped his thumb along Hudson’s collarbone and looked up to his eyes. “But it is best that I know your schedule so I don’t ask you to hang out with me when you have a game. I memorized the rest of the games for the year. At least the ones that are posted.”

“Yeah, your brain can do that too?” Hudson smiled into the kiss Connor gave him.

Hudson was prepared for him to pull away but the kiss continued with a calm pace.

Hudson spent the night at Connor’s apartment.

In his bed.

With Connor falling asleep before he did.

After he set the alarm on his phone and insisted that Hudson set a backup alarm on his own phone.

Hudson was not sure when he fell asleep, but he knew that it was with his hand on Connor’s lower back and his sweet breath felt against Hudson’s shoulder.

Chapter Text

Hudson’s smile left his face when he stopped in front of the grad office and saw Connor talking with a hot older man.

In French.

The man had dark hair and a beard that framed his chiseled face. With dark rimmed glasses. And he was dressed in a dark button up shirt that looked more expensive than any of Hudson’s clothes.

Neither of them acknowledged Hudson’s presence so he continued to assess the scene in front of him.

Connor wasn’t necessarily mimicking the man, but he did seem to be taking on the personality of someone else.

Someone older and more business-like was the only way Hudson could think to describe it.

The dark handsome man smiled as he rested his hand on Connor’s forearm and Hudson loudly cleared his throat as he entered the room.

The man’s eyes instantly went to Hudson but it took Connor seeing the man move his head to look in Hudson’s direction.

“Hello.” Hudson started to straighten his back and to put his hands on his hips but stopped himself. Just because the man looked like a wealthy superhero did not mean that Hudson needed to start some sort of competition with him.

But everything inside of him wanted to.

“Hudson.” Connor gave him a professional smile and stood. Looking to the man and back to Hudson, Connor continued to introduce them. “This is François. He has agreed to be my dissertation chair.”

Hudson was not sure what a dissertation chair did exactly, but it sounded like Connor was going to be attached to the man until he graduated.

“Bonjour. Enchanté.” Hudson attempted the accent grilled into him in primary school, but he never cared to stick with the language so he is sure that he messed it up.

“Ah, vous venez du Canada? Oui?” François gave him a smile that solidified that he was someone that people naturally gravitate to due to his looks and natural charm. “Québécois?”

“Yes. Canada.” Hudson nodded his head and made himself keep his face neutral. “I can understand some words but that was the extent of my speaking abilities.”

“Hudson is a psych major.” Connor spoke in English. “And the star of the basketball team. They are on a winning streak.”

“Yes. Yes.” François clasped his hands together in front of him and spoke with a muted Canadian accent. “I need to go to a game. I have only been here for a year and am still settling in. But, I saw you on the local news. Well done.”

“Thanks.” Hudson pulled his eyes away from François and smiled at Connor. “Are you ready? I’m hungry.”

“Yes.” Connor kept the business-like demeanor and turned to François.

Hudson let out a low grunt when he started speaking to him in French and might have actually growled a bit when Connor ran his hand down François’s arm.

“Nice seeing you.” François gave a slight wave to Hudson and walked past him, leaving a pleasant scent of cologne in his wake.

Connor rolled his neck and shook out his arms before putting on his jacket. By the time he turned, he was the Connor that Hudson knew.

“I’m ready.” Connor waited for Hudson to leave the room and then followed him. His arm bumped against him as they walked to the elevator. “You are tense.”

“Long day.” Hudson walked to the wall of the elevator and was surprised that Connor stayed close to him.

Connor still kept his distance from Hudson in the elevator in his apartment building.

Maybe it was elevator specific?

“I never understood that expression.” Connor leaned his weight against Hudson’s arm and took his hand as the doors opened. “Every day is the same length of time. I mean, I get what people are saying, but why not just say it?”

Hudson smiled down to the joined hands.

Holding hands was still new.

Connor pulled him back with their joined hands when Hudson did not stop before entering the street. And saved him from an embarrassing honk from the driver that would have ran into him if he continued to cross.

“Is that it?” Connor made sure no cars were coming and then started crossing with his eyes on Hudson’s face.

“Saying what they mean?” Hudson looked down to their hands again and back up as they stepped onto the sidewalk that would lead them to the L station. “I might have blanked out on a question. You are holding my hand.”

“But you like it.” Connor smiled at him and all the tension from the day and the worry about the wealthy superhero melted away. “See. You are swooning.”

“Fuck off.” Hudson laughed and allowed their hands to drop long enough to get his card out.

Once they were through the turnstile, Hudson squeezed Connor’s hand as he took it back to hold.

Hudson had never understood the appeal of holding hands unless it was a parent making sure their child stayed near.

But he very much liked holding Connor’s hand in public.

It felt like a declaration to the world.

They were together.

Connor’s thumb brushed along the back of Hudson’s hand and he allowed Connor to lead them to two open seats next to each other.

Connor put his earbuds in with one hand and then rested their joined hands in his lap before looking out the window.

Hudson alternated looking at Connor’ thumb rubbing against his hand and the city passing them by until they reached their stop.

Hudson had picked a music lounge that served food and had the place approved by Connor.

“Can I ask you a question?” Hudson took Connor’s hand on the sidewalk after he finished putting his earbuds away. “And I’m only curious, but it might sound a bit rude.”

“I encourage you to ask any question you want.” Connor’s thumb was still brushing against Hudson’s hand. “You don’t seem rude so you must be curious.”

“When you were talking with François, I mean I know you were speaking French and all, but even when you were not, when you were speaking English…I don’t know.” Hudson stopped them by moving his free arm out in front of Connor and turned them so they faced one another. “You seemed like a different person. Like a different personality maybe? Am I making any sense?”

Connor nodded his head and looked down to their feet. Taking in a deep breath, he raised his head so he was looking at Hudson’s face. “That is who I am for university. I perfected him during undergrad. Maybe too well because I graduated exhausted from it all. Professors don’t respond well to me if I am myself. Whoever the fuck that is.”

Hudson nodded his head and moved his hand up Connor’s arm. “I want to get to know more about whoever you are. Do you put on a personality with me?”

“A bit.” Connor nodded his head once but then looked at his eyes. “But not really. You never gave me any inclination that I need to be someone else around you. But you are rare.”

“I am.” Hudson smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He kept their lips pressed together a bit longer just because it felt good. “I am the rarest of them all. A decent human being.”

“You are.” Connor leaned his head forward to rest their foreheads together. Both of his hands were on Hudson’s waist. “Don’t be jealous of François. I learned that lesson in undergrad. I thought that was going to be your question.”

“I was jealous. I mean, who gets to walk around looking like that and speaking French?” Hudson laughed as Connor pinched his sides. “If I was not with you, he could have had me with that smile.”

“If I was not with you.” Connor looked up without moving their foreheads back. “I speak French. Can I have you with a smile?”

“You already have me.” Hudson rubbed his hands up Connor’s back underneath his jacket. “But please don’t stop smiling at me.”

“I don’t think I could if I wanted to.” Connor copied Hudson’s hands but also pulled him in closer. “You give me a lot to smile about.”

They were standing too close to keep their foreheads together so Hudson rubbed their noses together before pulling his head back to fully look at him.

Connor was looking right back at him.

“Are we going to be late?” Connor asked as his hands moved down Hudson’s back.

“No.” Hudson shook his head. There was no set time they needed to get to the lounge. “You sure it is not going to be too loud?”

“Music is a different kind of loud.” Connor’s smile increased to show his teeth and Hudson wondered if maybe they should just abandon their plan and go back to his apartment. At least until Connor explained. “It gives me skin tingles. Does music do that for you?”

“Skin tingles?” Hudson stopped himself from laughing. “Like goosebumps?”

“More like I feel it inside my skin.” Connor lowered his eyes down to Hudson’s mouth. “Like what your body feels like after a long stretch. Like a full body shiver that lingers. Do you feel that?”

“No.” Hudson shook his head once. “At least I haven’t noticed if I do. It feels good after a big stretch, but not like listening to music.”

“It is better with live music. With sound systems that fill your body with sound.” Connor moved his eyes back to Hudson’s eyes. “The noise issue is more about the layers of sound rather than a singular sound. Unless it is an annoying sound. But I probably will not understand you if you talk to me. I can read your lips though. Bonus from staring at people’s mouths all the time. I can only read lips well in English. Still learning the others.”

“How many others? Japanese, Korean, French, whatever the girls at the zoo were speaking-”

“Portuguese.” Connor gave him the answer.

“Okay, how many others?” Hudson waited as Connor seemed to be thinking through something.

“Latin. Spanish. Romanian. Netherlands. German. Swedish. Norwegian. Hebrew. Arabic. Russian.” Connor looked back at his eyes once he finished his list.

“That is amazing.” Hudson smiled and took Connor’s hand before starting them back to the lounge. “You are amazing.”

Hudson heard the music from down the street and increased their pace.

Smiling at Connor, Hudson paused at the sweet look on Connor’s face outside of the lounge. “What?”

“Thanks for not testing me on the languages.” Connor stepped in closer and rested his hand on Hudson’s upper chest so he could rub his thumb against his skin above his collar. “When people do that, it makes me feel like a sideshow act. To the point that I don’t answer that question anymore.”

“Ready for some skin tingles?” Hudson kissed him and felt his own skin tingle from Connor’s thumb on his neck.

“Yes.” Connor nodded his head and took in a deep breath. “But I don’t want to stay here long. I want to go back to my apartment. With you.”

“We can leave after we eat?” Hudson wrapped his arm around Connor’s back and moved them into the lounge. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Connor laughed and allowed Hudson to pull him along.

Hudson was going to order something that would be quick to prepare and eat.

Connor would get his skin tingles with the music.

And then Hudson would work on giving him skin tingles with his hands.

Chapter Text

Hudson twitched away from Connor’s finger rubbing along his neck and reached up to take his hand into his own.

Both of them had enjoyed the music, but Connor had taken advantage of the dim lighting in the lounge to attach his mouth to Hudson’s neck.

Hudson allowed Connor’s hands to explore while he licked and sucked on his neck, but had to stop him when he switched to using his teeth and he tried to put a hand into his pants.

Hudson was starting to get hard and he didn’t want to have to walk to the L station with his pants tight.

Connor had a dazed look on his face when Hudson moved Connor’s face toward him so he could speak into his ear that they should leave.

Connor repeated his words against Hudson’s face and then nodded his head. The movement caused Connor’s soft hair to brush against the side of Hudson’s face and Hudson to pull Connor through the crowded lounge.

Hudson held his hand until they were on the L and made the mistake of leaving Connor’s hand unoccupied because now he was touching the bruise on Hudson’s neck.

Which slightly hurt, but mostly made Hudson think about Connor’s mouth on him and how he had already fought to not get hard that night.

“Wait.” Hudson learned in closer to make sure he heard him, but Connor took it as an invitation to kiss him. He brushed his tongue against Hudson’s button lip as his thumb made the same motion on the mark on Hudson’s neck.

Hudson shifted in his seat and allowed Connor to deepen the kiss.

They had two more stops until they needed to exit and Hudson could not guarantee that either of them would remember to get off if Connor kept his tongue in his mouth. But he was determined to get off at his stop because he needed them to be alone.

Connor’s hand started to move up the inside of Hudson’s thigh and Hudson smiled into the kiss. Maybe they should have left the lounge sooner. They could already be at his apartment by now and they would not need to worry about others' eyes on him.

Standing, Hudson forced himself away from his mouth but kept their hands together so Connor would come with him.

Maybe if they stood by the door, Connor would stop trying to entice Hudson to give the other people on the train a free show. Hudson leaned back against a pole near the door and watched Connor narrow his eyes on the mark on Hudson’s neck as he moved closer and closer to him.

Connor leaned his weight against Hudson as the train came to a stop, with the force making Connor fully press his chest onto Hudson’s chest and his hands to grip onto Hudson’s sides.

“My God.” Hudson let out a low moan as Connor used their closeness to mouth along the spot already on Hudson’s neck. Hudson closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pole and surrendered. “Okay, you win.”

“I win.” Connor kissed up Hudson’s neck and whispered into his ear before sucking on Hudson’s earlobe. “What do I win?”

The next stop forced the back of his head against the pole and Connor’s teeth to bite down on his earlobe.

The doors opened and Connor pulled Hudson off the train onto the platform.

“What is taking so long?” Connor smirked at him and walked backwards while pulling Hudson along with both of his hands. “Are you okay?”

Connor knew fully well why Hudson was walking slower than usual because he had felt all of him as the train jolted them together closer.

Hudson managed to nod his head and pull Connor in closer to him to kiss him quickly and then turn him so he wouldn’t fall down the stairs. “I will be better when we are alone.”

“Alone?” Connor squeezed Hudson’s hand and looked over as they both rushed down the stairs. “You want to be alone with me?”

Reaching the last step, Hudson turned them both around the wall and bumped his shoulder into the man also not paying attention as he made the turn.

“Sorry!” Hudson raised his free hand and waited for the man to look up. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

“Yes. Fine. Thank you.” The Japanese man with a thick accent raised both of his hands.

“Yes. Fine. Thank you.” Connor echoed him as his free hand rose. The man looked toward him and Hudson felt Connor tense and step back before he heard his own accent telling the man sorry.

The man lowered his head and started up the stairs.

“Ready?” Connor pulled on Hudson’s hand and forced Hudson’s attention away from the man that was out of view but still on Hudson’s mind.

“Yeah.” Hudson squeezed Connor’s hand and started to walk with him.

Once they were outside, Hudson looked over and took in Connor walking at a distance from him. Connor had dropped his hand as they moved through the gate. Now he was walking with his hands inside his jacket pockets and his head looking down to the sidewalk.

“That was awkward.” Hudson offered and got Connor to quickly look at him and then back to the sidewalk.

Hudson went through the interaction at the train station and wondered if he should have said something to the man. Explain to him that Connor was not a white asshole making fun of him, but rather than he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

But was that even Hudson’s place?

Did Connor want him to say something?

How would Connor have reacted if Hudson started to talk to the man? Would he be embarrassed? Think that Hudson was overstepping? Would he have said something as well to the man?

They walked in silence until they were at Connor’s apartment door.

He unlocked the door while focusing on his hands but spoke to Hudson. “That is going to happen. I don’t do it on purpose.”

“I know.” Hudson followed him through the open door and toward the elevator. “It just…I don’t know. That felt different. Normally it is fun. Cute. I guess…I don’t know. It felt like I needed to say something, but I didn’t know what to say.”

Connor went to his opposite wall in the elevator and held his arms against his stomach. “It isn’t going to go away. Sometimes it is awkward.”

“I understand.” Hudson held his arm out to keep the door open because Connor was not moving.

“I stopped trying to explain it. People don’t understand.” Connor tapped his foot against the floor and squeezed his stomach. “And I can’t always find the words to say. Some have tried to fight me so it is best to just leave.”

He was still staring at the wall that Hudson had been standing against and appeared to be biting at his tongue in his mouth.

The door pressed against Hudson’s arm and Connor pressed himself off the wall.

Connor squeezed his hands into fists before opening his apartment and finally looked at Hudson when he stood with the door open.

“Are we okay?” Hudson took off his jacket and hung it on the hook near the door. He put his shoes underneath it. “I think we are okay. Are we okay?”

Connor hung his jacket next to Hudson’s and nodded his head with a tongue click as he also kicked his shoes off.

“Your neck looks bad.” Connor laughed as he stepped forward and pressed his full hand against it. “Your teammates are going to tease you.”

“Let them.” Hudson smiled and covered Connor’s hand with his own. “We are alone.”

Hudson saw him tense and then looked away.

“Hey.” Hudson used his other hand to hold his jaw and turn him back to face him. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Are you staying here tonight?” Connor relaxed his jaw and smiled. His free hand was looped into Hudson’s waistband as he tilted his head. “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“I like sleeping with you.” Hudson laughed and leaned his head forward to kiss him. “Maybe we do more than just sleep?”

“Oh?” Connor brushed their lips together and moved both of his hands around Hudson’s waist to his lower back. He hovered his lips near Hudson’s mouth as he spoke. “Can I leave another mark on you? You can pick where.”

“I get tested regularly. My last girlfriend, we were on and off for a while. I think there was a woman or two in between being with her.” Hudson pressed both of his hands down on Connor’s upper arms and kissed him. “I haven’t slept with a man in probably three years. Made out with a few that lead to some hand jobs, but nothing more.”

“Mmm.” Connor pressed up against Hudson’s hands and smiled as he started moving them towards his bedroom. “Any of them get to leave marks?”

“I don’t remember right now.” Hudson swallowed when Connor’s hands cupped his ass as he pulled him along quicker. “I thought you were going to be shy about this.”

“Why?” Connor squeezed his ass and then dropped his hands when they entered his room.

Hudson watched him take off his shirt and then pull down his pants so he was left in his underwear. Hudson smiled at him and started to take off his shirt when Connor moved onto the bed and raised his eyebrow at him.

His pants dropped next and he stepped out of them as he followed Connor onto the bed. He laid next to him and rested his hand on Connor’s waist. Connor was looking at him. “How far are we going?”

“As far as you would like.” Connor kissed his cheek and ran his hands down Hudson’s chest to his stomach. He kept his eyes on Hudson’s face as he started to pull at the hairs near Hudson’s waistband. “What do you like?”

Hudson shivered as Connor pulled too hard at one of the hairs. “Fuck, why do you do that?”

“It’s soft and textured at the same time.” Connor kissed along Hudson’s throat. “And I think you like it. Do you like it?”

“I like that you do it to me.” Hudson moved Connor’s hands away from his stomach and rested them on his sides. He moved in between Connor’s legs and smiled down at him. “What do you like?”

“You.” Connor leaned his head against Hudson’s forehead. “I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. I’m always negative when I get physicals. I’m in great health, in case you wondered.”

“Okay.” Hudson moved his head to the right and then left and traced his finger over Connor’s shoulder. “How far have you gone with someone?”

“Why do you ask it like that?” Connor traced patterns with his fingers along Hudson’s back. “You think I have never slept with anyone? I have. It has been spaced out. In my last relationship, he didn’t want to do much. I gave him head a few times but that was it. Before that, it was people I never saw again. Mainly because it didn’t go well.”

“He never returned the favor?” Hudson rubbed his finger underneath Connor’s jaw and rested some of his weight on his elbow.

“He was older. He said he didn’t like it.” Connor’s eyes were narrowed in on his finger rubbed against the spot on Hudson’s neck. “That was my lesson learned. He was a professor that led me on so I would help him with his job. Or whatever he was doing because he ended it while I was still helping him.”

“And he was your only relationship?” Hudson smiled when Connor’s eyes looked up at him. “What an asshole. I hope you reported him to the university."

“No.” Connor shook his head once and leaned up to kiss him. Resting back against the pillow and took in a deep breath while looking over Hudon’s shoulder. “Can we stop talking about other people?”

“Yeah.” Hudson kissed his cheek and then the side of his jaw. “Can you look at me?”

Hudson smiled as Connor’s eyes moved back to his face and leaned in to kiss him. Connor’s hand moved to the back of Hudson’s head and he gripped his hair tight.

His other hand had a finger pressed into the spot on his neck.

The awkwardness of their conversation melted away and Hudson was brought back to the feeling inside the lounge, when both of them were desperate to leave to be alone.

They kissed for a while until Connor pulled back and Hudson heard him take in a deep breath.

And then another.

Shifting to his other elbow Hudson checked in by looking at his face and found him biting at his lower lip. He started to ask him if he was okay when he felt Connor pressed his hips up and showed him the reason why his breathing had changed.

Kissing right underneath his lip, Hudson continued a slow path down his throat and then chest. Reaching his stomach, Hudson looked up and saw Connor watching him. He smiled and nodded his head so Hudson kept going.

Hudson was going to tease him a bit and stay kissing above his waistline, but decided he didn’t have that self control when Connor started breathing in short gasps and his fingers moved through the hair on top of Hudson’s head.

Fingers that pulled on Hudson’s hair when he took him in his mouth.

Connor’s legs tensed when Hudson moved Connor’s legs up until he bent his knees. Hudson’s arms went underneath Connor’s thighs and he pressed down with his hands on the top of Connor’s thighs, mimicking the pressure he would put on Connor’s arms.

Hudson heard a low moan and then Connor’s thighs squeezed Hudson’s shoulders. Hudson kept the pressure on his thighs and swallowed around him until he heard a gasp.

Connor’s hand pulled on Hudson’s hair as his legs tensed again.

Hudson kissed up Connor’s stomach and rested his hand on top of Connor’s hand still in his hair to signal he needed to lessen the grip.

Kissing his neck, Hudson asked him to lessen his grip. He didn’t tell him he was hurting him, but he was going to try that next if Connor didn’t release his hair.

“Sorry.” Connor’s eyes were hooded as he looked down at him. He clenched his fist without Hudson’s hair inside of it and then smoothed down Hudson’s hair once he appeared to come back to himself. “Did I hurt you?”

“Only a little.” Hudson kissed Connor’s throat and then moved his head over Connor. “I get it. I’m very talented with my mouth. You are welcome.”

Connor smiled and started laughing at the weird face Hudson made at him. The laughter helped him relax and Hudson laughed at how high Connor’s voice went and then how his body appeared to lose all muscle tone underneath him.

Hudson kissed along the side of Connor’s face and felt his jaw start to move. Thinking he was trying to tell him something, Hudson moved his face back and saw Connor biting at his thumbnail and looking up over his head.

Shifting his weight so he was laying more on Connor, Hudson watched him for a few minutes and waited for Connor to come back to him.

“That was nice.” Connor moved his head down and smiled as he blinked his eyes hard. “What?”

“I think I lost you for a few moments.” Hudson kept the smile on his face but tried not to smile too big because he did not want Connor to think he was making fun of him. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Connor traced his finger along Hudson’s forearm and followed his finger with his eyes. “That happens sometimes when I get overwhelmed. My brain will take a break.”

“I wish I could do that.” Hudson kissed his chest and moved up so he was hovering over his head. “My brain races at times and it would be nice to take a break from myself.”

“Do you use medication?” Connor’s finger fell away from Hudson’s face and he pressed against the spot on Hudson’s throat. “I have medication that helps ease everything.”

“Yeah. I forget to take it though.” Hudson smiled and shifted his weight. “I have a pill that I always keep on me in case I forget to take it. It also helps ease everything and allow my brain to think its thoughts better.”

“Better. Yeah.” Connor moved his leg and narrowed his eyes. “Did you? You are not hard?”

“No.” Hudson shook his head. “But it's fine.”

“I could.” Connor pressed against the bed and Hudson was shocked at how easy it was for him to move Hudson’s weight. “I could.”

“No.” Hudson smiled and moved so he was lying next to Connor and his hand was on his upper arm. “I liked doing that for you. I’m tired now. Could you sleep?”

“Probably.” Connor looked down to Hudson’s chest and moved his finger over Hudson’s nipple. “I could.”

“It’s fine.” Hudson kissed his forehead and then the side of his head. “In the morning. I need to sleep.”

“In the morning.” Connor looked up and kissed Hudson’s mouth as he continued to brush his finger over his nipple.

“That is too much.” Hudson moved his chest back and took Connor’s hand into his own and held it between them. “Very good, but too much right now.”

“I could.” Connor said again under his breath but he seemed to only be repeating himself rather than suggesting he do anything.

“Let me turn off the light.” Hudson left the bed and then joined Connor underneath the covers.

“Goodnight.” Connor moved his hand down Hudson’s arm and then rested it on his back. “I might not sleep right away, but you can. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Hudson pressed his hand down on Connor’s hip and found he had put his underwear back on.

It took a little bit for Hudson to fall asleep because Connor kept saying things under his breath. He could barely hear him, but he was sure that he was switching between languages.

Hudson woke in the middle of the night to use the restroom.

Reaching his hand over, Hudson found he was alone in the bed.

Chapter Text

After using the restroom, Hudson found Connor sitting on the floor in the living room. His back was against the wall and his legs were bent. Connor had moved one of the lamps to the floor next to him.

As he got closer to him, Hudson saw that he was wearing the same sweatshirt he had worn the other day when Hudson woke up to Connor sitting in the same spot.

Connor was focusing on what he was writing in the journal resting on his bare legs and did not acknowledge that Hudson was walking toward him.

So when he spoke, Hudson jumped and started laughing.

Connor’s head shot up at Hudson’s laugh and Hudson came to question whether Connor had been talking to him.

Or if he had even spoken it in English.

“Hey.” Hudson smiled at him but narrowed his eyes at how Connor was wearing the hooded sweatshirt. He had it covering the lower part of his face.

Which was the same way he had worn it the other day.

“Did I wake you?” Connor pressed his chin out, pushing down the collar of the sweatshirt with the movement and allowing it to fall to its natural place.

“No.” Hudson shook his head and lowered himself down so sitting in front of him. He put his toes over Connor’s and smiled at Connor pressing his toes up. “What are you doing?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Not because of you. I cannot sleep sometimes.” Connor lowered his toes down and closed the journal. “I was working through an idea for the dissertation.”

“What was the idea?” Hudson wiggled his toes and then lowered his legs down so he could cross them and moved in closer. “Can I see what you wrote?”

Connor handed over the journal and smirked as he rubbed his thumb against the pen in his other hand.

Hudson opened the journal and saw why Connor was smirking. It was not in English.

“What language is this?” Hudson turned through the pages and saw that the structure seemed to change as he went through them. “Languages?”

“That is my idea.” Connor dropped his legs down and crossed them before leaning forward and tracing his middle finger over the top of the page Hudson was on. “I am creating my own language. I have to have a theory to relate it with, so I’m still working on that piece of it. I have to figure out what I want to say.”

“In your own language?” Hudson smiled and leaned forward to kiss the top of hand. “Of course you are creating your own language.”

“Of course you are?” Connor took the journal back and put it near the lamp. And then the pen over the top of it. “What do you mean?”

“Bored of all the languages in the world, so you are creating your own.” Hudson moved his butt closer so his knees were touching Connor’s knees and he could reach him better. Moving his index fingers from Connor’s knees to his ankles, he kept his eyes on Connor’s face. “Who will understand this language?”

Connor’s eyes were tracking Hudson’s fingers as they moved on his legs. “I will teach you once I have it finished. We can be the only ones that understand it. We can have secrets only we know.”

“And François.” Hudson stilled his fingers and smiled when he heard Connor’s sigh. “Maybe I am a bit jealous of him. He touched you.”

“French people touch.” Connor took in a deep breath and then a shorter one. “He is a beautiful man but that is not a reason to be jealous of him working with me.”

“Okay.” Hudson leaned in and ran his hands up Connor’s thighs. “Look at me.”

Connor raised his eyes up and met Hudson’s lips to kiss him. Hudson squeezed the top of Connor’s thighs and hummed as Connor sighed into his mouth.

“Can I?” Hudson spoke against his lips and moved his hand in closer to Connor’s inner thigh.

“Yes.” Connor moved his head back against the wall and closed his eyes when Hudson palmed him through his underwear. “But only if you let me touch you.”

“Can we go back to your room?” Hudson squeezed Connor’s thigh when he tensed. “Do you have anything we could use?”

Connor bit at his bottom lip and nodded his head before opening his eyes.

Hudson held his eyes as they both breathed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah?” Connor pressed up his hands and stood. Reaching down to Hudson, he said it again.

“Yeah.” Hudson nodded his head when he was on his feet and stepped into Connor until his back was against the wall. Resting his hands on his upper arms, Hudson smiled at the dazed face Connor was giving him.

He was into the idea.

Moving his hands up Connor’s shoulders and his throat, Hudson held Connor’s jaw and smiled as Connor closed his eyes with a sigh.

Moving his thumbs along his jawline, Hudson watched as Connor turned his head to rub along Hudson’s right thumb and then along his left thumb.

Hudson let out a low sound when he felt Connor’s hand press against him over his underwear and mimicked the same movement as he did with his head.

“Bedroom.” Hudson whispered and then repeated himself when Connor opened his eyes.

Connor put his hands underneath Hudson’s hand still on his face and kissed both of his palms.

Hudson stood back and waited for Connor to turn off the lamp before taking his hand.

They walked in the dark until they reached Connor’s room and he turned on the lamp near the bed.

Connor took off his sweatshirt and opened his closet to hang it up before leaving the room.

Hudson laughed to himself and laid on the bed to wait for Connor to come back.

Resting his eyes while he waited for him to come back, Hudson nodded off and woke up to Connor moving onto the bed.

“Do you want to sleep?” Connor laid next to him and rested his hand on Hudson’s chest before Hudson turned and it fell onto the bed between them. “I can return the favor.”

Hudson smiled at the reference from their earlier conversation and pushed his underwear off and kicked them away.

“Mmm.” Connor’s hand reached out and he ran his fingers down Hudson’s stomach as his eyes followed his hand. Connor pinched a short hair in between his fingers and Hudson hissed as he pulled the hair out. “Sorry.”

“Let’s not do that.” Hudson raised his hand to move Connor’s hand down lower on him but paused when he saw how intensely Connor was staring at the hair in between his fingers. “You with me?”

“Me?” Connor swallowed and nodded his head as he moved his hand on his own. “I am with you.”

Hudson pressed his head back against the pillow when he felt the heat from Connor’s mouth surround him. The intense pressure from Connor swallowing around his dick was counteracted by Connor’s fingers softly rubbing small circles over his hips.

Gasping as Connor allowed his dick to pop out of his mouth, Hudson opened his eyes to Connor watching his face as he continued to make the small circles on him.

Moving his hand up Connor’s arm and over his shoulder, he rested it behind Connor’s head and gently pulled Connor into him and kissed him.

Hudson followed Connor when he twisted them so he was on his back and Hudson was resting on top of him.

“Can you touch me now?” Connor laughed as he shifted underneath him so both of them were more comfortable and his leg was slightly bent, pressing his heel into the bed. “I’m not laughing because it is funny.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Hudson smiled and moved his hand up the back of Connor’s thigh. “You did it last time after you came. It helps regulate you, right?”

“Yeah.” Connor nodded his head and pulled Hudson’s head closer to him with his fingers in his hair. “You make me a bit dysregulated, but in a good way.”

“Is there anything else I should know?” Hudson pressed his head back into Connor’s fingers and moved left and right. He smiled at the large smile he got from doing it. “That feels good. What? You are not the only one that likes people touching them.”

“If I move away, don’t try to stop me.” Connor looked down to Hudson’s chin and stilled his fingers. “And you will need to go slow until I tell you otherwise. My body likes you touching me a little too much so it is more intense with you.”

“Yeah? More intense?” Hudson puffed his chest out and flexed his arm muscles. “You are doing wonders for my ego.”

“I”m being serious.” Connor looked up to his eyes and blinked a few times. “Is there anything I need to know about you? Besides that you like to be praised.”

“No, I’m easy.” Hudson swallowed when Connor lowered his eyes to the side. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded. My body likes how you touch me too so I might not last long.”

Kissing above his eye and then his cheek, Hudson moved his hand down Connor’s thigh and smiled when Connor tensed his leg.

Connor had brought back lube and a condom from his adventure to the bathroom, but he was gone so long that Hudson had fallen asleep and missed him returning them with.

Pressing his fingers between his legs, Hudson moaned as he found that Connor had already started to relax himself for Hudson.

“All good?” Hudson pressed his fingers over the puckered skin and smiled at the nod Connor gave him. He had his eyes closed but his hand was holding onto Hudson’s shoulder.

Connor’s other hand was brushing the backs of his fingers up his own neck and along his jaw in a slow pattern.

That hand went to his mouth when Hudson pressed two fingers inside of him and he bit at both of the nails at the same time as Hudson worked on relaxing him.

Hudson pressed his hand against Connor’s shoulder and watched him bite at his fingers when he lined himself up and pressed inside him.

He had to close his eyes at the sound Connor made around his fingers as Hudson rested fully inside him. He was going to stay there until Connor told him he could move.

Kissing above his eye, Hudson rested his lips there until he heard Connor say his name.

It sounded weird and Hudson realized that he had only ever heard Connor say his name once before when he was introducing him.

He liked how Connor said it.

“Hudson.” Connor said it again and Hudson moved back to see his eyes. “You can move now.”

Kissing his lips, Hudson moved his hips back and moaned as Connor’s body protested the movement. He was not going to last long, but he didn’t care.

Both of Connor’s hands were on the back of his head and Hudson smiled at the soft touch from them as he moved back to focus better on what he was doing.

Connor pressed his hips up and Hudson moaned as he met him and heard the low sounds Connor was making.

Holding him between them, Hudson switched to pressing up a bit faster as he added hand movements but froze when he felt Connor tense his arms and press himself up with his foot against the bed.

“Are you okay?” Hudson’s voice was dry so he cleared his throat before starting to ask him again, “Are you-”

“Yes.” Connor opened his eyes and kept his body tense but moved his hips to encourage Hudson to start moving again. “I’m close.”

Hudson twisted his hand with a bit more pressure and smiled when Connor pressed himself up higher up on the bed and came with a shaky breath.

Hudson lowered his head down and pressed his face into Connor’s neck and moved with a bit less restraint as he breathed through his own release.

Connor’s fingers were moving up and down Hudson’s back when Hudson opened his eyes and he sighed into the feeling of everything as he listened to Connor’s soft breaths near his ear.

Hudson had had sex with several people; it had never felt quite like that before.

His heart was still racing but he felt like he could fall asleep if he kept his eyes closed long enough.

Feeling Connor shaking underneath him, he moved his head back and pressed his hand underneath his jaw.

“I’m okay.” Connor moved his head further into Hudson’s hand and took in a deep breath followed by a short one. “Can you move off of me?”

“Yeah.” Hudson moved out of him slowly and pressed up with his hands as Connor twisted out from underneath him and sat on the edge of the bed.

Hudson reached for him but Connor stood and walked out of the room.

Hudson was sitting on the edge of the bed when Connor came back and opened his closet.

Hudson watched him put on pants and then the same sweatshirt.

“Do you want clothes?” Connor spoke over his shoulder with the clothes in his hands. “Do you want clothes?”

Hudson ran his hand down Connor’s back but moved it away as Connor took a step away from him.

“Here.” Connor turned with the clothes in his hand and moved completely around him once Hudson had them in his hand.

Hudson left for the bathroom while Connor started to strip the bed. He took his time in the bathroom to give Connor more time away from him.

Connor was curled up underneath a thick blanket when Hudson walked back in the room. He was going to ask him if he wanted him to leave but Connor reached his hand out to him.

Before he could take it, Connor used that hand to move the blanket back and Hudson slid into the space offered to him.

The blanket was heavy but not too warm and Hudson relaxed both into the feeling of it and Connor’s hand on his lower back.

“You make it intense.” Connor rubbed his forehead against Hudson’s forehead and then rested back on his pillow so his eyes were on him. “Are you okay?”

“I am.” Hudson nodded his head. It was dark in the room, but they could see each other enough since they were so close together. “I like this blanket.”

“It’s the best.” Connor pressed his hand into Hudson’s lower back and moved him in closer to him. “But you are better.”

“I agree.” Hudson laughed as Connor swatted at his back. “What? I had to. But seriously, I think you are better than most anything I can think of right now.”

“I can sleep now.” Connor put the same pressure back on Hudson’s back as Hudson had on his back. “Are you tired?”

“I am.” Hudson didn’t want to close his eyes until Connor did so they stayed looking at one another.

“Are you going to close your eyes?” Connor let out a slow breath. “You do not sleep with your eyes open, do you?”

“No.” Hudson shook his head. “At least, I do not believe I do. No one has told me that.”

“Okay.” Connor let out another slow breath. “Close them.”

“You first.” Hudson smirked as Connor instantly shut his eyes. “I was waiting for you to close them first.”

“Oh.” Connor’s breath brushed along Hudson’s chin. “We can sleep now. Shut your eyes.”

“Okay.” Hudson followed the suggestion. “Bonne nuit.”

“Buona notte.” Connor let out a slow breath. “That is Italian. I’m learning that now.”

“And in your own language?” Hudson asked but he didn’t get an answer.

Opening his eyes, he confirmed that Connor was asleep and smiled before following him.

Chapter Text

Hudson leaned his shoulder against the wall at the end of the hallway and smiled as he watched Connor cook breakfast.

Hudson had woken up to the smell of eggs and the sounds of Connor talking.

He thought that Connor might have been on the phone, but watching him focusing on the pan in front of him, Hudson believed that he was only talking to himself.

And maybe also singing a song in between whatever he was working through. The song was in French and had a clear melody to it that was not there when Connor was talking in English.

“Ce n'est qu'en te croisant. Que j'ai su, j'ai compris.” Connor flipped over the eggs and then switched into English. “I wonder if you think about me. Of course I think about you. I wasn’t finished. Finish. I wonder if you think about me half as much as I think about you.”

“I think about you a lot.” Hudson announced himself and felt like an idiot because Connor tensed his body and threw the spatula out of his hand. “Fuck, sorry. Are you okay?”

Connor nodded his head to the floor and scanned the area around his feet while he hugged his arms to his chest.

Leaning forward, Hudson picked up the spatula up from the spot it landed in front of him. “It’s here. Do you have another one? Or I could wash this one for you.”

Connor shook his head and swallowed before speaking, “They are done.”

Hudson kept the spatula in his hand and reached around Connor to turn off the burner.

There were two plates with forks on them near the stove that Hudson separated the eggs onto and then put the spatula in the empty pan.

Connor was flexing his hands when Hudson offered out a plate to him. “One for you and one for me?”

“Yes.” Connor nodded his head and looked at the plate. “Can you put it down on the table?”

Hudson gestured with the plate to the table and then sat and put Connor’s plate next to him.

He finally moved from the spot he had frozen at and sat next to Hudson with a big smile on his face. “You found the clothes I laid out for you. You should bring clothes here. Not that I don’t mind sharing mine with you, but you would probably like some of your own things here. Like hygiene items.”

“I will bring a bag next time I come over.” Hudson returned the smile and squeezed the top of Connor’s thigh. “Do you have class today? Or something to do at the university? I have a class this afternoon and then a game tonight.”

“I know.” Connor looked to Hudson’s hand on his leg and then to his plate. “I have a class this afternoon, but it is just an exam so it will not take long. I should go to your game. I liked watching you last time.”

“I would like to have you there.” Hudson cut his egg in half and ate the whole half in one bite. “Are you going to eat?”

“I need a minute.” Connor nodded his head and looked toward his clenched hands. “Do you want to go on a run with me? My body feels weird and running will help.”

“Weird?” Hudson put the other half of the egg in his mouth and spoke while chewing. “What does that mean?”

“Being with you is a lot.” Connor relaxed his right hand and shook it out before doing the same to his left hand. “Intense in a good way but I don’t know. It is hard to explain if you don’t experience it. Running helps. It is a great stim.”

“Stim?” Hudson tried not to stare at how slow Connor was cutting up his egg.

“Self-stimulatory behavior. Stimming. Stim.” Connor raised the fork to his mouth and kept his focus on the plate while he explained. Unlike Hudson, he made sure to swallow before speaking. “Most people do them without realizing it. I have many of them that I do on purpose. Touching things is one of them.”

“Touching me is probably a great one, right?” Hudson ran his hand down Connor’s thigh.

“Yes.” Connor smiled and put another piece of the egg in his mouth. “Touching you is great. But it is also causing my body to need to move in other ways. Running. Lifting weights. Those work the whole body.”

Hudson moved his hand off Connor’s thigh when he started bouncing his leg. “Basketball helps calm me. Going hard during a game. Yeah that sounds weird. Giving it my all during a game wears me out and allows everything to settle. Like that, right?”

“Yes.” Connor finished the last of the egg and kept the fork in his hand as he looked over to Hudson. “Your body is different from mine, but there are similarities. Do you want to go on a run with me?”

“I would love to run with you.” Hudson took the fork out of Connor’s hand and stood to clear the table. “Is that why you laid out workout gear for me?”

“Love.” Connor nodded his head and stood. “I thought you would say yes.”

“You thought right.” Hudson placed the dishes in the sink and went to put on his shoes.

Connor led them down a street that took them to the lake and they ran on the path along the lake until Hudson’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

Connor was a fast runner and Hudson needed to increase his strides to keep up with him.

Until he needed to stop and huffed out that he needed to rest.

Raising his arms up, Hudson put his hands on the back of his sweaty head and took in a few deep breaths.

Connor was doing the same in front of him but looking over his shoulder instead of admiring his body like Hudson was not trying to hide what he was doing.

“I might have hit my wall.” Hudson stretched out his legs and smiled when Connor started to do the same. “And I am hungry. And something to drink.”

“There is a place a few feet up the path.” Connor lowered his arms and shook them out as he jumped up once. “I was going to stop there, but we can walk if you want.”

“Walk.” Hudson lowered his arms and stretched them behind his back to see if Connor was going to copy him. He did not.

The place that Connor was leading them to was geared toward people using the path to run and the person working clearly knew Connor.

“A friend?” The older man wiggled his eyebrows and laughed as Connor blushed. “Or more. I say more.”

“Hello.” Hudson put his hand on Connor’s lower back and introduced himself. “Hudson. Whatever he normally gets, please double it. I am paying.”

“Giovanni.” The man gave Hudson his full attention and Hudson felt Connor relax underneath his hand. “I will make yours special. You seem like a nice boy.”

“Mi piace, quindi sii gentile.” Connor smiled at the smile the man gave him. “Yes. Italian is the newest one.”

“Bellissimo.” Giovanni kept his eyes on Connor and tilted his head to Hudson and laughed. “SÌ.”

They waited off to the side while Giovanni made their order.

Kicking his foot with his own, Hudson got Connor’s attention off the lake and to him. “You seem to make a lot of friends.”

“I have no friends.” Connor shook his head. “They are just people that enjoy talking to me in their native language. Someone that looks like me rarely makes the effort to learn.”

“Still.” Hudson ran his hand down Connor’s arm and turned as Giovanni called his name.

Hudson added a cash tip to Giovanni’s jar and thanked him for the green smoothies and breakfast wraps.

They walked down a few more feet and sat in a small park area behind a large apartment building.

As soon as they sat, a dog barked at them and ran full force to Connor.

“Hello.” Connor set down his wrap and smoothie on the bench they were sitting on and took the dog’s head in his hands to scratch behind its ears. “Good morning.”

“Another friend?” Hudson laughed as the dog leaned its head onto Connor’s knee and closed its eyes. “What is his name? Or hers?”

“I don’t know.” Connor moved one of his hands down the dog’s back and repeated it while he kept the other hand on the dog’s head. “She never told me.”

“Bullshit.” Hudson swallowed down a gulp of his smoothie and made a face to the lack of sweetness. “You cannot speak dog.”

“Obviously. It is a quote from a movie.” Connor laughed as he looked over and saw the sour look on Hudson’s face. “But, it is true. I don’t know what her name is. Her tags only have her address. She lives in the building behind us. I have never seen her owner. So I don’t know her name. She doesn’t know my name either so we are even.”

“She seems to enjoy you.” Hudson tried to swirl the smoothie to see if maybe it needed to be stirred more to move around the sugar.

“Animals like me.” Connor took a drink of his smoothie when the dog laid down near his feet. “I think they know I’m a calm person. I send off positive vibes.”

“I do feel calm around you.” Hudson gagged at the taste of the smoothie. Stirring had made it worse. “God, this is awful. No offense to your Italian grandpa, but yuck.”

“Healthy doesn’t always mean that it will taste good.” Connor took a big sip and made a face at the taste. “Mmmm. Healthy.”

“I don’t know if I can finish it.” Hudson put down the smoothie and looked at his wrap. “Am I going to hate this?”

“No.” Connor shook his head. “That is actually good. There is a good sauce on the veggies. Try it.”

Hudson made a face at the look of the wrap, but found that it actually did taste good.

“See.” Connor took another sip of the smoothie and did not reach for the wrap. “Good, right?”

“I would never pick this on my own, but yes, it is okay.” Hudson took another big bite and looked out to the water before back at Connor. “So no boats? You have never been out there?”

“No.” Connor shook his head and pushed his sunglasses up higher on his nose. “Maybe if it was on my boat and I was in control of it, but I have no desire to be trapped on a boat.”

“Jet ski?” Hudson took another big bite to finish it as quickly as he could. “I crashed one when I was 18. I was being stupid with my friend and we ran into each other. Surprisingly, I did not get a concussion from that. Almost broke my arm though.”

“Wow. I really want to get on a jet ski now.” Connor teased him. “No, thank you. I will stay on land.”

“I will wave at you from the water.” Hudson crumpled up the paper from the wrapper and held it in his fist. Aiming towards the trash can, Hudson took his shot and laughed as the wind took it. “I tried.”

Connor mouthed ‘I tried’ as Hudson stood to properly take care of it.

He finished taking another drink and appeared to mouth it again while Hudson sat back down.

The dog didn’t seem to like Hudson moving so she ran off towards the building.

“You might be the only person that doesn’t drain my energy.” Connor’s thumb was rubbing against the plastic lid on the cup. “I don’t think I have spent this much time with someone without feeling like I needed to hide away for a few days to reset myself.”

“I’m the opposite. People energize me.” Hudson moved in closer and put his arm around Connor’s back to rest along the top of the bench. “A good house party can make me stay up all night without needing sleep.”

“Never going to do that.” Connor pressed his finger down Hudson’s thigh and then back up. “You have a lot of friends.”

“I do. Some very good ones and others that are just there.” Hudson felt Connor’s hand stop moving and he looked down to his leg. “Is your hand okay?”

Connor turned his palm up. “Hold it.”

Hudson pressed his hand on top and squeezed his fingers around it. Connor squeezed back and sighed.

“Do you want me to meet your friends?” Connor turned to look at him. “Do they know about me?”

“None of them know your name. A few know that I am seeing someone because I’m never around anymore.” Hudson moved his arm off the bench and around Connor’s shoulders. “My mom knows about you.”

“Your mother?” Connor’s face broke into a large smile. “What does she know?”

That I could be falling in love with you.

“She wants to meet you.” Hudson kept it simple. “There is a game coming up that she will be at. She stays in the city when she visits. Do you want to meet her? Is that too soon?”

“Too soon for what?” Connor leaned forward and kissed him. He kept their lips pressed together for a few seconds and then squeezed at Hudson’s hand while he pulled back. “Too soon for what?”

“People freak sometimes if things go too fast. Meeting parents is a big deal.” Hudson swallowed and took in a deep breath. “Would you freak out if I introduced you as my boyfriend to her?”

“I would like to meet her.” Connor nodded his head after Hudson did. “I would be offended if you did not introduce me as your boyfriend to her.”

“Do your parents ever visit?” Hudson squeezed Connor’s shoulder and felt him start shaking his leg. “Do you not want to talk about this?”

“I’m not shaking my leg because of the topic of conversation.” Connor took a deep breath. “Can we start walking? We need to get back or we will be late.”

Hudson took one more drink of his smoothie to see if anything changed as it settled and threw it away after Connor said that he didn’t want it.

Connor had finished his so he also threw it away. The wrap stayed in his hand and Hudson’s hand stayed in his other hand.

“My mother hasn’t visited yet. She would if I asked her to come.” Connor broke their silence as they neared the road to Connor’s apartment. “If she knew about you, she would like to meet you. She probably will cry from happiness, so prepare yourself now for that.”

“As long as it is from happiness, I can handle that.” Hudson laughed and bumped his shoulder against Connor’s shoulder. “Maybe our mothers will be friends.”

“That would be nice.” Connor bumped his shoulder against Hudson’s shoulder and stayed walking close to him. “What about your father?”

“He doesn’t like to travel.” Hudson smiled. “He has his routines. If we came to him, he would like to get to know you.”

“I feel that I can learn so much more about you from meeting with your parents.” Connor turned them down his street. “I have never been to Canada.”

“What about your father?” Hudson asked after debating with himself if he should ask.

Maybe there was a reason why Connor did not offer the information on his own.

Or maybe he just didn’t think of it on his own.

“I don’t know.” Connor took his hand away from Hudson to get his keys to open the apartment building. “He has never been to Canada either.”

Hudson decided to file that away for later because Connor’s voice had changed and he wanted to keep them on the easy wave they were on.

Hudson went to move to his side of the elevator when it opened but smiled when Connor took his hand and stayed next to him.

They took separate showers and Hudson borrowed more clothes from him.

They did the dumb face game on the L on their way to the university and parted ways with a quick kiss on campus.

Smiling to himself, Hudson skipped over the first step to the psychology building.

He forgot to take the spare pill he kept on him this morning. It was inside his pants that he had left at Connor’s apartment.

Hudson added medication to the mental list he had going in his head for the bag he was going to bring to Connor’s apartment.

Class was going to be difficult, but even with the pill, Hudson knew that he would be distracted by thoughts of Connor so he decided to not stress about it.

He would take it when he got back to the frat.

And then he would focus on the game that Connor was going to watch him play.

And then he was going to introduce Connor to his friends after they won the game.

And then he was going to go back to Connor’s apartment with a bag of his things.

Life was good.

Chapter Text

J'attendais, j'attendais. J'attendais ton regard pour expliquer enfin. Le pourquoi de ces au revoir. A tout ce long chemin.

Stretching his neck to the side, Connor’s eyes scanned the posters on the wall near the door and read a few of the words in his head as he mouthed the words.

J'attendais, j'attendais, j'attendais ton amour. Ton beau ton bel amour.

“Meeting weekly.” Connor’s narrowed in on the poster advertising for a language club that met every Thursday in the large meeting room on the first floor. The poster was new. It had not been there for the Tuesday class. “Tonight.”

Straightening his head forward, Connor startled at his professor standing in front. “Je l'attendais pour enfin vivre. En donnant à mon tour.”

“Good song.” Dr. Tierney took the empty seat near Connor and gestured to the exam in front of him. “Do you need more time with it?”

“No.” Connor shook his head and followed his professor’s hand to the finished exam. “You can have it. I finished a while ago.”

“You doing okay?” Dr. Tierney took the exam and smiled. “You wrote this in French.”

“Okay?” Connor squeezed his hands tighter together and swallowed. “You know French. I can redo it in English.”

Ce n'est qu'en te croisant. Que j'ai su, j'ai compris.

“No. It’s fine.” Dr. Tierney put the exam on the table. “Dr. Arnaud asked if I would be interested in being on your dissertation committee. It is unorthodox to form a committee for a first year student, but I understand why he snatched you up so fast. It is rare to have published work from undergrad projects. You have several publications in well respected journals.”

“Yes.” Connor nodded his head and looked over towards the poster for the language club and then back to the professor. “How long has everyone been gone?”

“Only a few minutes.” Dr. Tierney pressed his fingers against the table. “Let’s go back to a previous question. Are you okay?”

“It would depend on your definition of okay.” Connor smiled and held his hands tighter together so he didn’t press his fingers on the table. “In the polite conversational sense, I am okay. In the conventional sense, maybe I need to explore that a bit more before I give you an answer.”

“In French?” Dr. Tierney smiled and flattened his hand on the table, making Connor’s eyes go to it before looking back at his mouth. “Or maybe Korean? How many others are there?”

“Several.” Connor took in a deep breath and swallowed. “I am learning Italian right now. Do you know it?”

Bellissimo.

“Just enough to make an idiot of myself on my next Italian vacation.” He laughed. “But it is fine. They love when non-Italians attempt to learn the language. Unlike the French who reply in English to your attempt at speaking their language. God forbid if you speak with a French Canadian accent over there. I thought they were going to guillotine me.”

Connor was going to tell him that most French people praised him on his accent, but he had learned that people take that as bragging so he kept it to himself.

“Nice of them to allow you to keep your head.” Connor shifted his body to the side so he was facing him. “You are a great methodologist. I would be honored to have you on my committee.”

“Did Dr. Arnaud tell you to say that?” Dr. Tierney smiled as he stood with Connor. “A man that looks that pretty doesn’t need to also use flattery.”

Et j'écoutais le vent chanter infiniment. Vagues de quiétude et de paix.

“He did not mention that he was going to talk to you.” Connor wrapped his arms around his waist and followed Dr. Tierney down the lecture hall steps. “I researched the university before accepting the offer to attend. You are an accomplished researcher and author.”

“How many other universities wanted you?” He stopped near his desk and put Connor’s exam on the top of the stack he had already collected.

“Several.” Connor moved his hands behind his back and read the posters on the wall behind the desk. There was another poster for the language club. It was the only new one. “Chicago was a main factor in my decision to attend Northwestern.”

“It is a wonderful multicultural city that has a life of its own.” Dr. Tierney started towards the door. “To be a twenty-something here sounds amazing.”

D'aussi loin que je me souvienne. L'enfance est un immense océan.

“Um, sounds amazing.” Connor bit the side of his tongue and walked alongside Dr. Tierney down the hallway. He kept his hands clasped tight behind his back. “Will you be my methodologist?"

“It would be my honor.” Dr. Tierney tipped his head to him and opened his office. “Email me when you have something for me to review.”

The door shut behind him and Connor nodded toward the door.

“It would be my honor.” Connor released his arms and reached for his phone. “Bellissimo.”

Hudson had sent him five separate voice notes, each one growing in length. Connor hit the button to transcribe them rather than listen to them.

He liked the sound of Hudson’s voice, but it was harder to listen to someone when they were not stood in front of him.

Game is not until 7, but you can come before that.

Maybe you come around 6? Meet some of my teammates? Or all of them really. They want to meet you. One is going to call you Sunshine. Just go with it. I will explain later. He means no harm. It is an inside joke. Not about you though. Promise.

If you came around 5:30, we could get some food together. The wrap was the last thing I ate today. It was good but veggies are only so filling. I need some meat. That is not a sexual joke by the way. I am particular about my meat. Like you. But not your meat. Although, if you want to come around 5, maybe you can come in another way.

No, disregard that. I cannot meet you at 5 or 5:30. There is a team thing I forgot about. Not rich older women this time. I don’t have to dress up. It is for people on the university board. They want to give an award. Or we are giving them an award. I’m not sure. I wasn’t really listening. I left my clothes at your apartment. Do you have laundry there? If you do, please do not wash my pants. I have my spare pill in my pant pocket. I’m not sure what pair. I think I have more than one at your place. Maybe we should do laundry tomorrow.

But you can get here around 6. The board knows we have a game so they will want us to warm up to win the game. We make the university a lot of money so they will not take up too much of our time. But, it would be interesting to…Have you ever forgotten a thought mid sentence? Is that a neurotype thing we have in common? How is your body feeling? Better now that I have given you some space? I was thinking, was it because we had sex that it made your body feel weird? Maybe we should talk about this in person rather than over a phone. One-sided message. So, call me! Or text me. You have never called me. Do you call people? My father hates the phone. Okay. see you at 6, right? Text me! Xo heart emoji

Connor looked at the time on the top of his phone and smiled. He had three hours before he could go and meet Hudson’s friends.

The idea of meeting that many people at once was intimidating but Connor wanted to learn more about Hudson. He was curious how Hudson was around his friends. He saw some of their interactions during the game he watched and many videos of them together, but Connor was never part of the social interactions.

“J'attendais, j'attendais. Le pays de ton corps le toucher de tes mains. Ma douce boussole mon nord. Le sens à mes demains.”

Connor was going to go to the weight room to work out some of the buzzing under his skin.

The weight room was one of the only public places Connor enjoyed on campus because everyone there was focused on their own thing and there were no forced conversations.

“Bellissimo.” Connor stepped around a group of people blocking the exit to the language building. “You love with your mind and soul, not actually with your heart. It's just a saying.”

Putting on his sunglasses as he stepped outside, Connor pressed his hand against his chest. “Why does it hurt so much here when you're not with me?”

J'attendais.

Holding onto the strings of the sweatshirt, Connor narrowed his eyes until he found Hudson among his teammates in the gym.

From what Connor remembered from their videos, it looked like they were warming up. Half of them were being serious, but most seemed to be having fun.

Hudson seemed like he was the leader of the group having fun.

“Connor!” Hudson shouted his name across the gym and started running toward him.

Swallowing, Connor tracked Hudson until he was in front of him. He was sure that there were others looking at him, but he didn’t want to think about that.

“Hello.” Hudson increased his smile and leaned forward to kiss him. “I would hug you but I’m sweaty.”

“I can tell.” Connor nodded his head and smiled as he stepped in closer to whisper to him. “There are a lot of eyes on us.”

Hudson raised his hands up and acted like he was blocking Connor from their view as he asked in a low voice. “Give me the word and I have them all take laps.”

Connor smiled and leaned his head against Hudson’s sweaty forehead. “Which one is going to call me Sunshine?”

“The tall one.” Hudson laughed and kissed his cheek before moving to the side of Connor. With his hand on his lower back, Hudson gestured to the group. “This is the team. Team, this is Connor. Be nice to him.”

Be nice to him.

Connor gave his school smile and leaned his weight into Hudson’s hand on his back. Waving with one hand, Connor gave his greeting. “Hello team.”

“Hello Sunshine.” A deep voice said from the back of the group. “Hudson says that you radiate sunshine. I’m glad that he finally got his shit together and made it official with you.”

“Official.” Connor said under his breath and looked over to Hudson. “They are nice. Make them go away.”

“Okay everyone. Back it up. Nothing to see here.” Hudson raised both of hands and waved them off. “Go get ready to win our game.”

“Nice to meet you, Sunshine.” One of them said and then a few of them repeated it as they all ran off.

“Hi.” Hudson turned to face him and put both of his hands on Connor’s upper arms. “I am so happy you are here. I was worried that you were not going to come.”

“I had to talk myself into showing up.” Connor took in a deep breath and pressed his heels up to get more of the pressure on his arms. Hudson was strong enough that it gave him just the right amount to keep everything calm. “Why are they calling me Sunshine?”

“Back before we were official, I told Ted that it felt like sunshine was radiating out of you because it felt so good to be near you.” Hudson tilted his head. “He encouraged me to go make my shot. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“You are cute when you are excited.” Connor tilted his head in the opposite direction and copied Hudson’s smile. “Bellissimo.”

“I have a bag of my things to bring to your apartment.” Hudson moved his hands down Connor’s arms and unclasped Connor’s hands between them to hold them down at their sides. “I packed some sexy underwear and better lube.”

Connor narrowed his eyes and looked over to the light buzzing louder than the others.

Sneakers squeaking against the floor and several voices shouting.

The balls bouncing against the floor and the backboards.

Le pourquoi de ces au revoir. A tout ce long chemin.

“You okay?” Hudson’s hands squeezed his hands and Connor turned back to him with a smile. “You don’t have to stay the whole time. I would understand.”

You love with your mind and soul, not actually with your heart.

“I want to stay here.” Connor leaned forward and kissed him. Breathing him in, Connor sighed against his mouth. “I will put in my earbuds and things will settle. I lifted before I came here. I will be fine. If not, I will take a break outside.”

“Okay.” Hudson gave him another kiss. “I’m going to act like I care more about the game than spending time with you. We can go to yours afterward. I don’t care to celebrate with them.”

“You are very sure that you are going to win.” Connor raised his eyebrow. “Are you that good?”

Hudson winked. “You know I am, baby.”

He squeezed Connor’s hands and then ran backwards a few feet before turning.

“You know I am, baby.” Connor spoke down to his chest as he took out his earbuds. “Why does it hurt so much here when you're not with me?”

Sunshine.

Leaning back against the wall, Connor wrapped his arms around his waist and crossed his foot over the other.

Looking around the gym, Connor read the banners and some of the posters on the walls before tracking Hudson as he moved around his teammates.

He was fun to watch.

Connor was going to try to stay for the whole game.

J'attendais.