Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Ilya wakes up to the Sun in his eyes and Shane’s breath in his ears, as he has for the past few days. He turns his head, nuzzling into Shane’s hair, and breathes him in. The Sun warms his skin and the man beside him warms his heart, and Ilya smiles.

The past week in the cottage with Shane has been – for a lack of a better phrase – a dream come true. It has been a perfect week, and Ilya feels so lucky.

At the same time, there is a pit in his stomach. He wants to tear his hair out, or even tear his heart out. Though, was it his brain he needed to tear out? Why was he still feeling like this, thinking like this? It has been so good, perfect almost – nights of sweet passion, dinners with loving parents, days of unrestrained laughter.

Yet he keeps thinking that this is too good to be true.

It feels like he is waiting for ‘the other shoe to drop’ – an idiom he had picked up from David just three days ago, when he was ahead in the game of Yahtzee for the first time. David had been grinning with anticipation before he stage-whispered to them that, “Honestly, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop here.”

Shane had seen the confusion on Ilya’s face, and had whispered in his ear that “It means when something’s going too good, it feels like something bad is definitely going to happen.” Ilya had nodded at that, right before David’s prediction came true and Yuna absolutely dominated them all. At that time, Ilya had laughed heartily at them, even as Shane hid his face in embarrassment.

The phrase had stuck with him though.

Something bad is definitely going to happen.

It almost feels like he has felt like that his whole life.

He thinks about finally saying Shane’s name as he had longed to do and seeing him walk out the room. He thinks about smiling back as Shane had smiled at him, before helplessly watching him crumple onto the ice, still. So still.

He thinks about coming home from school, smiling as he remembered a joke his friend had told him that made him laugh and laugh, before pushing open the door to his mother’s room.

Ilya is brought of out his thoughts when he feels Shane shift, a deep sigh coming from him before he blinks his eyes open. He immediately looks at Ilya, and Ilya is helpless to do anything but return the small smile that makes it way to Shane’s face.

With how much happiness consumes his very soul right now?

Something bad is definitely going to happen.

But it has not happened yet.

So Ilya presses a soft kiss to Shane’s lips, begs his heart and brain to just shut up, and decides to enjoy whatever time he may have left with him.

--------------------------------------------

For all that they did not wake up too late, it is already eleven by the time they start making breakfast. Mostly because it had taken them three tries before they actually made it out of bed.

Shane is texting his mother – confirming their presence for dinner in two days – when his phone rings in his hand, startling him. He blinks at the caller ID for a moment, before he turns the phone around to show Ilya.

“It’s Rose. I’ll go answer this for a bit.”

Ilya hums in reply, continuing to make breakfast. Shane’s consistent communication with Rose was something of a staple in the cottage now, much to Ilya’s annoyance. As he carefully cracks the eggs into the pan, he partly listens in on Shane’s voice, mostly because he just loves his voice. A moment later, though, the alarm that rings in his voice causes Ilya’s heckles to rise as well, and he turns just in time to see Shane walking back into the kitchen, phone by his side and a frown on his face.

Shane chews his bottom lip, before telling Ilya. “Rose wants to come over.”

Ilya freezes for a moment at those words, before he forces himself to relax, “Okay, you told her no, yes?”

When no reply comes from Shane, Ilya turns off the stove, eggs still only half done, and turns to look at him. He is staring at his phone now, frown deepening.

“She says… she has something she really needs to tell me.”

“And she cannot say it on the phone?”

Shane shakes his head. “She’s never been like this before. I’m worried now.”

Ilya leans against the counter. He cannot fault Shane for caring about a friend, not when he himself would never turn Svetlana away. Rubbing his shoulder, Ilya tells him, “We can eat after I finish making eggs. I can go after breakfast.”

“Go?” Shane repeats, alarmed, “Go where?”

Now it is Ilya’s turn to look confused, “Go… away? She needs to talk to you. I should not be here for that.”

“She knows I’m here with someone,” Shane tells him, and this time there is a contemplative look on his face, “and… it would be nice to not have to hide. You’re supposed to be here, so I think you should stay. If you want.” He tacks on the last words there gracelessly, avoiding Ilya’s stunned gaze.

“You trust Rose Landry very much?”

When Shane nods, he meets Ilya’s gaze.

Feeling like he is about to step off a cliff with a parachute that may or may not work, Ilya lets out a long breath before he steels himself, and nods back.

--------------------------------------------

It takes Rose two hours to get to the cottage, so Shane takes the time to clean up, Ilya helping begrudgingly. It is really only the living and dining area that needs some tidying, as the guest rooms have been left unused during their stay. When Ilya spots Shane fluffing up the pillows in one of the rooms though, he frowns.

“Rose Landry will be staying longer?”

Shane shrugs, continuing to fuss. “I don’t know. But if she’s tired or… or upset, I was thinking she can rest here until she’s ready.”

When Ilya stays quiet, Shane looks up at him, one eyebrow quirked. “That’s okay with you, right?”

“It’s your cottage, Shane.”

Shane frowns at that, this time leaving the already tidy bed to go up to Ilya. “Ilya, she’s just a friend. A friend that needs some help right now.”

His firm tone causes Ilya to squirm, guilt tightening along his gut with the jealousy that he refuses to acknowledge. His gaze drops to the floor, jaw tight. Then, two gentle hands cradle his face, moving him so that he can look into Shane’s sincere eyes.

“You have nothing to worried about.”

“I am not.” Ilya refutes, sighing as Shane just looks at him in disbelief.

“Remember our promise here? To be honest with each other?“ His hands drift from Ilya’s face to his shoulders, grounding him.

Those words cause Ilya to pause, and then his words come out rushed and jumbled, straight from his heart. “I am not worried about Rose Landry, not anymore. But… it is my first time meeting her. When I see her, I worry I will remember everything I felt before. Every time I see her, with you.”

The jealousy in him that was biting and vicious, when he scrolled through articles and videos of her hanging off Shane’s arm, wearing his jersey, and getting to love him publicly. In his mind’s eyes, the scene at that godforsaken club plays, the overwhelming hurt at seeing Shane smiling and dancing with someone else so openly still too close to the surface for him.

Shane makes a soft sound at those words, understanding lighting up his gaze.

“Oh Ilya… I’m sorry that I put you through that. It makes sense, what you’re feeling. God knows I don’t think I can hear the name Svetlana anymore without thinking of you marrying her.”

Ilya smiles at that.

“We are quite a pair, Hollander. Scared of woman in each other’s lives.”

Shane laughs, pressing a kiss to Ilya’s lips. “Like you said, Rozanov. It’s time to be brave.”

They smile at each other for a moment, before both startling lightly as the doorbell rings. Shane takes a deep breath, hands tightening for a moment before he looks at Ilya.

“Are you ready?”

“Are you?”

“No.” Shane laughs, “But it’s Rose. We probably won’t have to say anything – she’ll know the truth the moment she sees you.”

When Rose enters, she enters with a bang. Her red hair flies as she throws her arms around Shane, bag dropping to the floor. She hugs Shane tightly, her lips opening slightly right before her entire body stills as she spots Ilya standing a few feet behind Shane.

There is a moment of stunned silence.

Ilya lifts his hand up, giving her a small wave.

“You’re Ilya Rozanov.” She says over Shane’s shoulder, still hugging him, her fingers digging into him slightly as she continues staring at Ilya.

“Yes. And you are Rose Landry.” Ilya tells her, before pointing at Shane and helpfully saying, “That man there is Shane Hollander.”

Shane snorts as he gently pulls away from her, Rose’s eyes still wide on Ilya.

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“Was being polite,” Ilya argues back, walking towards them, “doing introduction.”

He tries to be discreet as he wipes his hands on his sweatpants before he holds out a hand to her, though judging by the amusement on Shane’s face, it was not subtle enough. Rose blinks at him again, and Ilya has a moment where he wants the floor to swallow him, hand twitching in the air, before she grabs it in hers.

“Sorry! Sorry. That was rude of me. Hello, Ilya Rozanov.”

Her grip is warm in his. Ilya smiles at her and finds that it is not too difficult. “Hello, Rose Landry.”

“Are you both going to keep calling each other by your full names?” Shane pipes up from beside them.

Rose laughs then, still nervous and awkward, but keeps his hand in hers as she looks over and says instead, “Nice to meet you, Ilya. Or should I say, Lily?”

Ilya laughs too, saying, “But then you will not be only flower, Rose.”

He hears Shane mutter something like, “Letting you two meet was probably a bad idea…”, but Ilya ignores him. Rose lets his hand go and step back, eyes darting between the two of them for a moment, mouth opening and closing again, almost as if unsure she should speak.

“I’m reading this right, right?”

Shane nods at her, shoulders hitching up slightly.

“I’m so happy for you, Shane.”

As Shane beams at her, Ilya feels himself softening as well. Now there are three people who know that Shane and he are together. Three people that they no longer have to hide around. Feeling emboldened by that realisation, he throws his arm around Shane’s shoulders, tugging him close and pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

Rose’s answering smile is blinding. She whispers, “Who would have thought…” Then, she laughs to herself. “I understand your side in our conversation a lot better now, Shane.”

Ilya watches as Shane’s face turns red, but before he can ask about it, Shane throws out.

“You had something to tell me, Rose?”

The smile immediately drops from her face, and her colour goes along with it. Both Shane and Ilya hold out a hand towards her, which she shakes her head at as she takes a step back.

“No, it’s fine. I just… I forgot how a moment why I’m here. Which is crazy. I’m trying to think now if this,” and here, she gestures between the two of them, “makes it harder or easier to say. Can we sit down actually, please?”

Shane leads them to the living area, pulling Ilya down beside him on the couch.

Rose sits across from them, and her gaze keeps nervously straying to Shane, then Ilya, then to their joined hands. There is a wet sheen in her eyes now, as she takes a deep, steadying breath. Ilya shifts uncomfortably, though he keeps his grip tight on Shane’s hand.

“I’m pregnant.”

Ah, Ilya thinks, as Shane stiffens next to him, the shoe has dropped now.