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Would you like some Pain with that?

Summary:

You've abandoned your mate and child. The world repays you for that.

Sans pov for most of it, and a little bit reader pov at the end. This is my first fic, please be kind.

Notes:

I'm so sorry. I read a oneshot by Birdteeth and I couldn't not write this, because I can't abandon my Skelebabies.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/7544245/chapters/18022954 - warning: most of the chapters of this fic are filled with Sin.

Work Text:

About a month after Toriel kicks Sans' metaphorical butt into gear, he receives a cheque in the mail. It doesn't say anything, but it has your name on it, and a significant dollar amount. Sans almost rips it up, but well... it does have your name on it. He keeps it for a while. This continues for some time. Every few weeks, a cheque will come in the mail with your name on it. He keeps the first one, but the rest go to the bank and are cashed. They're all for around the same amount, every time.

He stops wondering why they come, and just welcomes the extra income. Verdana is growing and needs new clothes often, after all, and taking care of a child on a minimum wage income is not an easy task.

 

 

After almost half a year, the cheques stop suddenly, and he wonders what happened, but the cheques weren't very frequent anyway, and he did save a lot from them, so it's not like their sudden disappearance is hurting him. Your sudden disappearance still does, though.

 

 

It's two days from your birthday the next time something comes in the mail. He stares at the box for an hour, wondering what on earth it could be. It has your name on it, clearly it's addressed to you, but you aren't here anymore, all of your friends know that, and anyone else that was remotely close to you doesn't send anything. He decides to open the box and is not disappointed. It's a letter with a bunch of toddler safe toys and such things.

He doesn't open the letter.

 

 

It's a whole year after you disappeared and Verdana is the size of a two-year-old. They're wicked intelligent and get into all kinds of trouble, often. This, though, this is the worst they've gotten into. Your stuff, the things that you'd left there, the things he'd painstakingly put away so that no one would mention it, or take away these memories of before you left or... he knows he shouldn't be mad, but that's your notebook Dana's colouring in, it's your whole world, it's your-

He very carefully takes it away from Verdana and asks Papyrus to take them for a bit, before gathering your things and taking them back to his room and crying. The letter sits unopened on his desk.

 

 

You've been gone one year, two months, three days and seventeen hours. Not that he's counting. Not at all. He's sure he just knows that because it's been added to his reset calendar. This is not the longest they've been out of the underground, but it is the only one where he had Verdana. It was the only one where you did not come back after a month. Verdana is asleep on his bed behind him as he stares at the calendar. He walks over to his desk and picks up the letter again, worrying the edges as he usually does when he's thinking about you these days.

The edge tears open a bit and he jumps at the sound. He can see the messy script inside and flinches, throwing the letter back onto the desk and going back to the bed.

 

 

He's gonna do it. He's gonna open the letter. Toriel came by to take Verdana for a bit, to give him a break from his very energetic child. He sits in front of the letter, staring at it as though it's a ticking bomb. Loud laughter from outside makes him flinch, and he growls at himself. It's just a letter, what on earth is wrong with him, this is stupid. He grabs it ferociously, but freezes for a moment, sighing.

When he rips open the envelope, it's gently, and with great care. It's long and rambling and it reminds him so much of how you would rant about some things, but it doesn't make him feel better. It does detail an apology for leaving him alone and abandoning their child. He scowls when he reads it and actually does shred it, how dare you, how dare. He doesn't tell anyone about the contents of the letter.

 

 

It's almost two years and there's a red car in his driveway. Verdana is the size of a four-year-old and is reading and writing without help. They're at the table now, drawing something, and Papyrus is out with Undyne and he is definitely not panicking right now, because that's your car, that is your car, what on earth, why is it-

The person getting out of your car is you but... You're different... somehow... You look like hell in a handbasket. You don't knock, or even really approach the house. You just look around sadly, and take a box out of the back seat, a large one, and leave it on the path leading to the front door. Then you get back in the car, and with a guilty look at the house, drive away. Sans doesn't realise that he stopped breathing until black spots crowd his vision and Verdana is hugging his legs.

The box contains a knit blanket and a giant teddy bear, both addressed to 'babybones'.

 

 

The next time you arrive at the house, you're not so lucky to get away unscathed. In fact, you don't get away at all. Undyne is there, hanging out, and Papyrus has surrounded you with bones, and Sans doesn't think he's ever seen his bro so angry and you are cringing, and your soul, how did he not notice before, how fragile it looks, how it seems like any moment it might shatter, and he's lucky that Verdana is home or you might already be dead, Undyne looks that mad. As it is, he has to remind Undyne and Papyrus to not kill you. You can't leave, he reminds them, and that's enough to make them stop for a moment, though they still glare daggers at you, and he's sure that if looks could kill, you would be dead.

You are, of course, forced to spend the night. Undyne won't let you leave, and does actually guard the door to the spare room that you are staying in. Verdana treats you like they treat anyone else. With care and respect. You have to admit, you're ashamed of your behaviour, leaving this sweet child. But you can't change the past.

 

 

The news does, unsurprisingly, get to Toriel very quickly, and she is there the next morning after Undyne lets you out of your temporary prison. You say nothing, but she gives you the lecture of a lifetime, and you think, if the world had any mercy, any at all, you would die, instead of having the fear of the Queen put into you after your "complete and utter betrayal of any morals" as Toriel puts it. Although, the long version has more swearing, and you're glad that the moment Toriel arrived, Sans took Verdana out of the house.

 

 

They don't let you leave. Not that you could. Undyne all but totalled your car, and Toriel made you afraid for your life if you went more than ten meters away from the property. You are very not prepared for any of this, you think, but surprisingly, Verdana makes it easier. They lift the tension, make you feel like you might survive this.

You can't help but feel a hollow amusement that this child is making you feel safe when they are the reason you left in the first place.

 

 

Sans corners you after a few days and demands to know why your soul feels so sick and weak. You are forced to explain that it's because you are sick, that you are dying, that it's a human thing that happens to those who get unlucky. It's why you'd sent the gifts you explain. You would be dead within the year. You'd come back to the house with a foolish hope that you could just see them and not be noticed, not make an impact...

He doesn't ask you much after that. Your hollow gaze, the humourless laughter and the pained expression on your face are enough to know that you're telling the truth. The only other thing he gets from you before he flees, is that you think you deserve this. It's your punishment, you say, and he doesn't disagree.

 

 

You don't last long, but you do try and make the best of the time while you have it. You may have wanted to perish alone, but well, if that's not gonna happen, then at least you can attempt to make amends. Papyrus is the hardest, but you think, at the very end, when you don't have any strength anymore, that he at the very least doesn't hate you as much.

Verdana is the sweetest, and tells you that it's okay, they forgive you. Your heart breaks for this child that you should have helped raise.

 

 

When you do pass on, it's with little fanfare. It's the middle of the night, and your soul shatters quietly. The only one who notices is Verdana, who wakes from their sleep and cries, clinging to the bear you'd gotten them, so shortly ago. When they discover you in the morning, Sans can't help but feel a little pain for what could have been.

 


 

 

Somewhere in an alternate reality, you cuddle with your small family and have a nightmare about a world where you ran away when your little one was born. You wake up with a start and cuddle your baby and your mate, and struggle to get back to sleep despite the tears.