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"Jeffrey went to an IVEY league! He got scholarships AND kept all A's! But your telling me you can't get a SINGLE A in trigonometry because your tired?! Your brother never got tired! Your just being lazy and need excuses thinking i'll care! 'But father i'm so tired'...'I need to take a break' WELL GUESS WHAT? Jeffrey didn't take breaks, look at him now. He's more successful than you'll ever be!"
Todd had just arrived to his 'home' from Helton, but it doesn't even seem like home not with his father around. Ever since Todd could remember he has always been compared to his older brother Jefferey. Straight A's, perfect life, attends an Ivey league with a scholarship, everything Todd has always wished for. But most of all, recognition from his parents. Todd's parents never loved him. No matter how many times people have reassured him that parents love all their children, Todd would never believe them. But for once in his life he would stand up to his father to call him out. Even though he will regret it in the future.
"Well, why the hell do you care?! To shove it in my face that Jeff is better than me? I'm sick and tired of hearing you compare us! NEWS FLASH dad! We're not the same! You can't change that and you never will. Do you know why? It's because no matter what I do to impress you, I can never be as smart or successful as him. I'll never be the perfect son who can be everything you wished for! When will you get that through your thick skull and finally realize that!!??" The words hung in the air, and he realized his hands were shaking. A wave of regret washed over Todd as he waited for his fathers response. The silence hung dangerously in the air, than finally...
"The hell did you say to me boy?..." His father's face was full of anger masking the surprise from Todd's outburst. "No dad... I didn't mean-"
Todd can barely register what is going on before his father shoves him to the floor. Todd yelped as his father pinned his wrists to the floor, 'that's definitely going to bruise later' Todd thought. Todd shrieked loudly as a boot came flying to his stomach repeatedly. Todd could barely hear the insults that his father yelled as he was on the floor curled up in pain. After an eternity, the blows to the stomach stopped. Todd gasped in relief without noticing the tears streaming down his cheeks.
"GET THE HELL UP BOY! I didn't raise a boy to end up a WIMP!" Todd yelled in pain as punches rained down to his ribs and face not noticing blood coming from his eye. "I gave you everything! A home, food on the table, AND THE BEST SCHOOL! And this is how you repay me??" Todd tried to wiggle out of his fathers grasp, but he couldn't think straight. He probably had a concussion or something. "You don't thank me or your mother for a thing! All you do is take! At least be like Jeffrey and make something out of it instead of wasting your time on damn POETRY!" Todd whipped his head around. How did his father know about the poetry? Did he see the poems about Neil? Did he even read them all? imsoscrewedimsoscrewedimsoscrewed!!
"Yea, that's right. I know about your little gay poems and classes. What? You think you would've just gotten away with writing stuff like that? You need to get your Damn head out of the clouds Todd or else I'm gonna beat it out of you the next time I see you writing in those damn journals!" And with that his father unhooked his belt and snapped it at Todd. "They do this as punishment at school, looks like were going to have to do it at home as well."
Fear pumped through Todd's veins as he limped to stand up properly. "You wouldn't..." his voice sounded more hesitant than reassured, "You haven't even seen the worst Todd. I'm sparing you if anything. You should be grateful" his father finished.
Whatever Todd was thinking he will regret it because a burst of confidence will get him whipped into next month. "Grateful? Grateful?! That my own father is beating me because I'm not my older brother?!" Todd said as he finished at last with a big exhale.
SMACK! Todd's father smacked him across the face with his hand....not his had his belt. Strikes came down to Todd's sides causing him to bend in on himself while still standing. He had enver felt this type of pain before. Not physically before at least. Todd let out a scream of pain as his father kept striking him.
"YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT! YOU NEVER TRY IN SCHOOL NO MATTER WHAT I DO! WHY CANT YOU BE LIKE JEFF?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE A FAGGOT OF A SON?! HUH? ANSWER ME!" but that's the thing. Todd couldn't answer. Not only from getting slugged in the face so many times and being whipped by a belt making his back and face bleed planting bruises on him, but it was the truth getting spilled from his fathers mouth. Why was Todd like this? Why did he write poetry like a fag? Why couldn't he be like JEFFREY??!!
The pain finally stopped, but Todd didn't notice.He was spiraling in his own thoughts and couldn't even feel the pain of his father's belt but his own words eating at Todd. It finally hit him that he could never truly be like Jeff. Todd would be a messed up kid never knowing their role in life, while Jeffrey becomes a father and husband with a wealthy family and big house. If that was true, then where does that leave Todd? Would Jeff even care about what happened to him? Or would he be wrapped in his own problems?
Todd had lost track of how long he had been sprawled out on the floor aching every time he breathed. He gathered himself to carry himself to the bathroom to take a bath to help the bruises. When Todd looked in the mirror he was appalled. Along his back was big purple and black bruises scattered with belt imprints from the metal. How was Todd supposed to hide this?! Surely his mom doesn't have this much makeup to cover it. Todd decided to push that to the side for later to deal with later and focus on what's important. Today is his last day of break and he will return to Welton tomorrow, so Todd will take a warm path to relief the pain. It'll help make the pain go away. Right?....