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1. The First Thing I Do When I Conquer the World Is Teach That Brat Harry Potter Sex Education by SnowInMay

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Underage Sex
   • F/M
   • Complete Work

   19 Mar 2026

   Tags

   • Underage Sex
   • Harry Potter/Hermione Granger
   • Lord Voldemort
   • Harry Potter
   • Hermione Granger
   • Lucius Malfoy
   • Bellatrix Black Lestrange
   • Ron Weasley
   • Crack Treated Seriously
   • Educational Smut (kind of)
   • Coerced "Helping" Dynamics
   • Voldermort PoV
   • Bad Sex Turns Educational
   • Dark Comedy
   • Post-War
   • Voldemort Is Exasperated
   • Voldemort Becomes Unwilling Sex Ed Teacher
   • Explicit Languag
   • Toxic Relationships
   • Harry Potter Toxic
   • Harry Potter Yandere
   • Possessive Harry Potter
   • "Best Friends" - Except They Fuck
   • toxic possessiveness
   • Unhealthy Relationships
   • Oblivious Hermione Granger (kinda)
   • Lord Voldemort Regrets Everything
   • Voldemort suffers

   Summary

   Lord Voldemort has a to-do list for when he conquers the world, and at the very top of it is giving that brat Harry Potter a sex education lesson.

   Oh, and also teaching that Mudblood Hermione Granger how to say “no,” too.

   Series

   • Part 3 of Harmony 🐸😺

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   33,416

   Chapters:

   32/32

   Comments:

   101

   Kudos:

   148

   Bookmarks:

   45

   Hits:

   6,694