Work Text:
The video starts with two Anania and Ilya Rozanov standing next to each other in a park. Anania wearing the cutest outfit and Ilya wearing a centaurs hoddie and basic sweat pants.
“Hey I am Anania and this is gaydar. Today we have a special guest and we are going to find out if you are gay, straight, or a homophobe”
Ilya, still standing, nods a little.
“First, what is your name and preferred pronouns?”
“Ilya Rozanov and my pronouns are he/him.” Ilya gives a cheeky smile.
“Oh he's feeling it haha. Now first question what was the first country to legalize gay marriage?”
“Definitely not the Usa, Canada happened early but not first. Belgium?”
“Close I want to count that so bad. They were second. The Netherlands was first.”
“Name three queer athletes that came out by kissing their partner on tv.”
“Yuri Katsuki, well technically Viktor kissed him, Kelley O’hara, and ugh I guess old man Scott Hunter.”
“Come on, don’t call him old, the Stanley cup kiss was iconic.”
"Doesn't make him less old. I respect my elders but I worry for his safety while still playing hockey at his age.”
“Name a drag queen.”
“Rupaul and he has a whole race about it.”
That makes Anania laugh. “Yes, He does!”
“Which country in your opinion deserves to be gayer?”
“Russia, I am biased but, come on! Mother Russia. I have never met a woman who does not serve. Men need to step it up so the women do not have to carry the whole world with looks.”
“YESSSSSS!!!”
“Fuck, Marry, KiIl. Comphet, Biphobia, and Aphobia.”
“Help me with the words”
“Sure meet me in my office”
The camera shows Anania and Ilya back turned to the camera as Anania quickly explains the terms that Ilya was unaware of.
“Kill Aphobia our aromantic asexual people deserve peace, Fuck Comphet, I can fix him, and marry biphobia, what would our world be without biphobia.” Ilya gives a look like he is wistful about biphobia.
Anania gives a look when Ilya says the words ‘our’ and ‘fix him’ “Ok, I am catching a vibe.”
“Name a trans person.”
“Max Riley, Amazing man. He and his wife are just amazing people to work with over the summer.”
“How nice, now before I guess whether you are gay straight or a homophobe, any last words?”
“Hockey deserves to be gayer and Trans people are amazing in sports.”
“Ok, If I had to guess, are you gay?”
“My husband is yes, but I am wonderfully bisexual though.”
“Wonderfully bisexual” Anania repeats with a laugh.
“Yes I am the best at being Bi.”