Work Text:
“I just think—”
“I know what you think, Eddie,” Buck says with a sigh as he plops down on his couch. Eddie insisted he accompany Buck home tonight with the excuse that he just wants to hang out. Buck obviously knows it’s all a ruse, seeing as how Eddie hasn’t stopped inquiring about his well-being any chance he got for weeks. “You have been telling me. Repeatedly.”
“It seems I have to when you won’t listen,” Eddie retorts, sitting right next to Buck.
Buck really doesn’t want to fight with Eddie. He truly has no interest in it, but he has even less interest in discussing the kidnapping and his feelings on the matter. He is dealing with it. It’s going to be fine. He doesn’t need anyone to help him, and he for sure doesn’t want to constantly be subjected to Eddie’s nagging.
“Maybe you should leave it alone then.”
“Not a chance.”
Buck can’t help but throw his hands in the air. “Seriously, just let it go. Why do you even care so much?”
That is, objectively speaking, not one of Buck’s finest moments, and he feels bad as soon as the words leave his mouth. He feels even worse when he sees Eddie’s hurt expression.
He hides it quickly, and replies, “Because I’m your friend. I’m allowed to care about you.”
“Sure, but I have other friends and they don’t seem half as concerned as you do. You don’t see Ravi tracking my whereabouts and following me around the firehouse all day to grumble about my therapy sessions.”
“Therapy sessions that you are not having, even though you almost died, again,” Eddie says, getting visibly more annoyed by the second. “And don’t even compare Ravi to what you and I have.”
What you and I have. Yeah, okay, Buck is not unpacking how that made him feel. Or why.
“What exactly do we have, Eddie?” Buck asks, maybe a little too desperate to know the answer.
“Oh, don’t do that,” Eddie says harshly. “You know exactly how close we are. You’re my best friend, man.”
Warmth spreads all throughout Buck’s body, but he wills himself to ignore it. If they weren’t fighting, Buck would really appreciate Eddie’s words. Obviously, he knows the place he has in Eddie’s life, but hearing his best friend affirm how much he means to him means the world. He is too annoyed right now to process that.
“Friends, exactly! It’s not like you’re my boyfriend, Eddie, so stop nagging me like you are!”
Backtrack. Where did that come from?
“Oh, so being your boyfriend is the requirement for being allowed to care about you?” Eddie asks, voice getting louder.
Buck has never before in his life been so unsure of what to say. He just shrugs defiantly, hoping Eddie will not be able to read the subtext in Buck’s eyes, which probably screams What the fuck is happening?!
Eddie gets a determined look on his face and simply says, “Okay, fine then.”
“What?”
“Fine, I’ll be your boyfriend.”
If Buck was confused before, he thinks he might be fully gone now. Because once again, what the actual fuck? He must not have heard him correctly. Right? That has to be it.
“What,” he repeats.
“I’ll be your boyfriend,” Eddie says in the same grave tone.
“Eddie, you—” Buck takes a deep breath and tries to continue without sounding like he just got all the air knocked out of his lungs, though it sure feels like it. “You can’t just declare that you’ll be my boyfriend because, what, you want to force me to go to therapy?”
“Hey, that’s your rule. I don’t get to worry unless I’m your boyfriend, right?”
Buck recognises that he might have made it sound like that. He also recognises that he should never open his mouth again.
“But you can’t just decide you want to be my boyfriend because of that!”
“So if I wanted to date you before for unrelated reasons, then it’s okay? That’s what you are saying.”
Eddie should have probably realised Buck has no idea what he is saying about ten minutes ago.
He goes with the answer that feels the safest, “Hypothetically, sure.”
“Great, then,” Eddie says, smiling this time.
Buck stares at him dumbly. He is starting to think he is hallucinating this whole thing because there is no way Eddie Diaz is just implying what Buck thinks he is.
Eddie must sense Buck’s bewilderment because he explains, “I wanted to date you before all of this, so everything is squared away. I’m going to be your boyfriend, and I’ll annoy you about therapy all I want.”
He is smiling even wider now, and Buck thinks he is probably going insane. And he isn’t even sure which of them he is referring to in this situation. It could genuinely be either of them. Or both.
“It’s your logic,” Eddie keeps going. “I’m just implementing it.”
Buck needs to make sure he is getting this right. “So you’re saying that you, Eddie Diaz, want to date me, Evan Buckley? And you have wanted to for some period of time?”
Buck is fully expecting Eddie to tell him he heard everything wrong and start laughing at him. Instead, he just nods and says, “Yeah.” Casually. Like this isn’t the most mindblowing thing to ever happen in Buck’s life. And he has been through many, many crazy situations. Including the one that’s the reason they were arguing in the first place.
Eddie has to be messing with him. He has to. Right?
“Okay, prove it.”
This should obviously be the moment Eddie steps back and lets the whole thing go. He can’t prove anything because he is joking. And he will finally step back now and everything can go back to normal. Or as normal as it can be under the circumstances. Buck is fully prepared for Eddie’s teasing smile and his lips forming the words “I’m just messing with you”. He is so sure of what Eddie is going to do that he doesn’t even register when he feels those lips touch his.
Because Eddie is kissing him.
Eddie is kissing him.
And then he isn’t anymore. It can’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity to Buck. Who is absolutely frozen and staring at Eddie in shock.
Eddie is smiling when he looks back, and when he speaks he only says “Is that proof enough for you?”
Buck forgot how to form words.
“Uh,” he starts and immediately closes his mouth. He tries again, somewhat more successfully. “You kissed me.”
Formation of the words was the successful part. The fact that they are idiotic and unnecessary is a separate thing that Buck won’t dwell on.
“I did.”
“Why?”
“I told you why. You okay there, bud?” He is still smiling when he says it and Buck has no idea what to do with that.
“You didn’t tell me because what you told me makes no sense.”
“Why wouldn’t it make sense?”
How is Eddie not getting this? He usually reads Buck like an open book, but of course now of all times he decides not to use that ability.
“Because you said you wanted to be my boyfriend, which you don’t.”
“I do.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I am.”
Eddie looks… sure of himself. Sincere. And dead fucking serious.
Oh.
Oh. Okay.
“You want to be my boyfriend,” Buck says, needing to confirm it one more time.
“Yes.”
“Because you like me. Like that.”
“Because I love you like that.”
In that moment, Buck realizes those six words are all he has wanted to hear since he first laid his eyes on Eddie in the firehouse all those years ago. Actually, they are all he has wanted to hear his whole life, he just had no idea who he was waiting to hear them from. But of course it’s Eddie.
That’s the only thought travelling through Buck’s mind as eight years of friendship rearrange themselves to fit this newfound realisation. It’s Eddie. He is it. The person Buck has been waiting for, to love and be loved by. No one else could even come close.
“I love you, too,” Buck says, a little breathless. He feels his cheeks warming and a smile overtaking his face.
Eddie is smiling right back.
“Good. It would suck if my boyfriend didn’t love me.”
Buck’s heart skips a beat at hearing Eddie refer to him as his boyfriend. He can’t give in that easily though. “Again, you can’t just decide you’re my boyfriend.”
“Oh, so you don’t want me to be?” Eddie says, feigning offense.
“Of course I do. But you should at least ask. It’s common courtesy, or whatever.”
“I’ll ask if you promise to call your therapist.”
Buck should have predicted that one. “Eddie—”
“Please? I know you want to deal with everything yourself, but we both know that almost never works out. Let me help, okay? We can get through this together, like we always do. I just want you to be okay.”
And who is Buck to deny him anything? His resolve had been thinning for days anyways. He can recognise that his coping methods aren’t the healthiest and he is tired of feeling like this. He wants to get better. For himself. And for his family.
And for Eddie. Eddie, who is going to be his boyfriend in about thirty seconds.
“I’ll call her tomorrow, I promise.”
Eddie grins at him. “Then, will you be my boyfriend?”
It’s the easiest yes of Buck’s life.