Archive of Our Own

It’s still early when Tamtey is awoken by the startled screech of Telisi– one made out of annoyance, as she’s come to learn the meaning of her ikran’s varying cries. As their bond flourishes with both trust and time, Telisi began making her stance on things with more confidence and, well, volume. Where there was an ikran once reserved and cautious, now there was one emboldened by her capabilities and her bond with Tamtey. Where Tamtey is expressive and opinionated, Telisi is as well. 

She is swift and lethal in areas a warrior’s ikran is expected to be, particularly that of Death on Wings. Telisi takes great joy in battle, whether it be scorpion take-downs or weaving around the maws of a Stormglider as Tamtey aims the killing shot. But when the day is done, her needs are rather straightforward (some might EVEN say puppy-like). Her favorite food is fatty meat and mushrooms, just like Tamtey. She trills when the sides of her face are stroked in a measured tempo, shrieks in excitement at a successful mid-flight fishing, and loudly expresses her annoyance at the likes of lean meat— and whatever’s gotten her worked up right now.

The Sarentu is rudely interrupted mid-thought by a throb definitely caused by last night’s zangke. With a groan, Tamtey sits up and completes some stretches before— sluggishly— exiting the marui. The crisp breeze of the Spires kisses her skin alight, and she welcomes the awakening shiver that follows after with closed eyes and a soft smile. Taking soft, measured breaths, she focuses on the contact of her feet with the dewy grass. As she grounds herself, her gaze trails to the ikran resting spot. Zoslu is sound asleep, much to Tamtey’s surprise, and Telisi has already locked eyes with her bonded as soon as her scent entered the air.

“Telisi,” Tamtey says in a soft chide, “what are you on about now?”

At that, Telisi lets out a cry in disbelief– as if she can’t believe Tamtey can’t see what’s gotten her so worked up. Still tired, she carefully makes her way up the branches to the resting area and minds Zoslu’s sleeping form. It’s only when she's stepping around Ri’nela’s bonded when she remembers that she left the nest with three sleeping ikran. 

Not two.

Although, Tamtey remembers, she had noticed a certain Na’vi absent from his sleeping mat earlier. It seems that So’lek took an early start to the day.

“Sarentu.”

“Yes?”

So’lek pursed his lips, almost clenching his jaw, and it's the first time Tamtey has seen him hesitate in his thoughts.

“…Your voice is very beautiful. Do not have any shame about that.”

Tamtey replayed that moment in her head for a good hour before falling asleep the night prior, but she had awoken with a resolve to leave it in the past where it belongs. Just like all of the other small moments they’ve had that get her mind to wonder too much. As much as her dreams beckoned her to the side of imagination, she couldn’t entertain those thoughts. There’s no room or time to think about personal desires right now.

The RDA has a tight grip on the Western Frontier still, after all. Not to mention the uptick in their activities from the East that’s keeping Toruk Makto and his crew busy. The battle for freedom is nowhere near over, and sometimes Tamtey feels like it’s only the beginning. A selfish part of her heart stings at that thought and she thinks of her clan-mates. Will they ever live in a Pandora freed from the poison the humans have left behind, or will the Sarentu die before they have the chance to truly live? It’s hard to believe in a hopeful future, but if Tamtey can assure one for Teylan, Ri’nela, or even Nor, she would be at peace.

As long as they are happy and safe, she is happy; whether it be she remains alive with them or joins the ancestors when that day comes.

At that resolution, she grabs her saddle and secures the straps around Telisi’s chest. Even from the sheer prospect of flying the burgundy ikran flaps her wings and cries out in excitement, and Tamtey chuckles. She gives the beast a few neck rubs before she hops onto her back, hands instinctually finding the reins and feet curling into their stands. With a whooping cry, the duo take a dive into the spiraling rocks below them before Telisi uses the momentum to spread her wings flat and climb into the open air. 

Even as the goosebumps rise along her skin and the following shiver runs through her body, Tamtey feels her cheeks ache at her wide grin. The wind against her face feels like gentle kisses, despite the speed in which Telisi is climbing, and she closes her eyes to savor the feeling of the wind combing its fingers through her hair. As Telisi reaches a comfortable altitude above the Spires, Tamtey braces her legs against her ikran to keep her weight balanced while upright. At this hour, the silhouette of the moon is seen just beside the rising sun– bidding him goodbye as she takes her respite for the next Eclipse. Beautiful is far too simple of a word to describe it, though Tamtey finds herself feeling that way for much of Pandora’s natural wonder.

She didn’t set Telisi on a specific course and trusted her enough to not take her anywhere dangerous; to be frank, she was still a bit groggy from last night's festivities. After some peaceful moments of gliding through the sky, something from below catches Telisi’s attention. With only a gruff to warn Tamtey, she begins diving downwards with folded wings and crying out as her bonded rushes to get a better grip. As they near a clearing among the flora, Telisi skillfully decelerates and tips her chest upwards to allow a softer landing. Another cry of an ikran is then heard, Telisi replying in kind, and Tamtey doesn’t need to look to know who that might be. 

Iley is a bit larger than Telisi and Zoslu in both body and wingspan, but it takes nothing away from his beauty as an ikran. Tamtey’s noticed before that the markings on his head mimic that of a heart– which was also one of the first ‘human’ things she drew at TAP, as a gift for Aha’ri– and his patient nature with Telisi reminds Tamtey too much of So’lek’s gentleness with her. Iley remains guarded and protective of So’lek, though, only now allowing Tamtey to approach him with his bonded nearby. Given that the bond between So’lek and Iley is far older than Tamtey and Telisi’s by a far margin, she understands. She can only imagine what they have endured together, where they travelled and what they’ve seen– perhaps he will tell her about his past soon enough.

So’lek dismounts from Iley with practiced ease, nodding to Tamtey in a greeting as he turns to place his longbow into the holster on Iley’s harness. 

“I see you got an early start to your morning?” Tamtey asks.

“I always ‘start early’, Sarentu,” So’lek reminds her, “I thought I would hunt– for when you would awake, there would be food for the group.”

Food does sound really good right about now. But she’s getting the sense that So’lek didn’t hunt simply to prepare a meal for the clan, but to take the time alone to gather his thoughts as well.

Last night was nice— it was the first night in a long time that the Sarentu took to spending the night together by the fire (minus one lone wolf) and ate and drank to their hearts content. Ever since the Games concluded, it was nose-deep into RDA pushback with barely any respite. And with the discovery of Rasi and her subsequent return to the Sarentu, the evening was filled with words of excitement and hope for the future. Teylan began wondering aloud what their lives would be like afterward, Tamtey too, until she noticed the somber expression on So’lek’s face.

When asked, he admitted that he had a more pessimistic view on things— for as long as So’lek has been fighting the RDA, it’s not unfair to believe that he would die in the fight before he got to see Pandora healed from their abuse. That’s all that he said, and it took everything in Tamtey to not take him by his shoulders and scream at him. How could he deny himself the privilege of fighting to live, and instead reduce his life to that of another casualty? But she knows that it would've been rich coming from her, given it was Haj who labeled her actions against the RDA as ‘borderline suicidal’. That was a talk arranged by So’lek after Tamtey had stormed off on him mid-argument. Instead, she skillfully re-navigated the conversation to the purpose of their clan which is to continue the stories of the People; for the People and Pandora. 

The zangke most certainly gave her the courage she needed to not shy behind Ri'nela's melodic voice as she took the lead in singing the Sarentu song-- thanks to Rasi they are now able to sing it with the words-- and the background noise from the flora around them became muted. In that moment all that was heard was Tamtey's voice accompanied by Ri'nela and Rasi, both women purposely singing in lower tones, and Tamtey allows her eyes to drift close as she feels her body sway to the song. But, her treacherous body reminds her of her drunken state with a rush of light-headedness, and she opens her eyes before she feels someone looking at her. She doesn't need to look very far, as she turns her head to the left and carries her gaze to land on So'lek's molten golden eyes resting on her. His facial expression is almost trance-like, as if he's becoming lost in the mysticism of the song, but it's welcomed. His eyes don't blink as often as they usually do, far too focused on her to pay attention to such a trivial reflex. He's looking at her and he isn't looking away, Tamtey realizes, and almost meets her gaze with curiosity.  

After they completed that song, Tamtey had busied herself with more food and zangke to distract herself from the intrusive thoughts that were only getting fueled further by the liquor. Not that it stopped her though. When all was said and done, and everybody began retiring to sleep, she thought she'd escaped a restless night when So'lek called out to her and said what he said.

Your voice is very beautiful.

“Got anything good?” Tamtey asks, craning her neck to glimpse at the supply pack slung over his shoulder.

“Fatty meat and mushrooms,” he replies, bringing the satchel forward to show the younger Na’vi. Tamtey grins at the pristine quality of the food, nodding and humming her approval.

“Well, we should probably get back and start cooking,” she says, “before they wake up and start to wonder where we ran off to this time.”

As they return to camp, Zoslu is wide awake and pauses mid-groom to welcome them back home with a head-tilting cry. Ri’nela emerges from behind a rock with scraps of meat in her hands as she gingerly feeds them to her ikran. Teylan and Rasi are stoking the fire, and it's perhaps the first time since their escape that Tamtey found Teylan in such a quiet, yet peaceful trance.

It’s easy to forget that he’s the youngest among them, almost as easy as it is to want to protect him because of it. Tamtey worries about Teylan, perhaps more than she should, about his journey of finding his place in life. His identity is one that is full of instincts from two completely different worlds, merged in theory, yet always colliding with one another in practice. But with Rasi here, now, here to guide them all with her wisdom– maybe she doesn’t need to worry so much anymore. Even with her presence alone, Rasi is the grounding force that the young Sarentu have been in desperate need for since their awakening.  

The Great Mother has truly blessed us. Tamtey smiles to herself and moves on, her eyes finding So’lek beside the cooking station preparing the food for cooking. There is a small crease between his brows as he focuses on meticulously cutting the pieces of meat and vegetables. Some pieces are small and some larger, a variety intended to satisfy everyone’s preferences. As he sets the food onto the cooking plate and slips it into the fire, Tamtey steps into his visual field in order to make her presence known. 

The smile is still on her face, she realizes, as she begins to speak. “You seem to be…preoccupied by something else this morning.”

At that, So’lek pauses cleaning his hands and workstation. Silent, at first, the na’vi simply stares at his hands for a moment. Then, with the purse of his lips, his amber eyes return to her.

“The RDA,” he says, voice even, “the Dragon ships, the convoy transports…it is only the beginning of what they mean to do.”

Contrary to So’lek’s stoicism, Tamtey feels her stomach drop and a wave of nausea wash over her. 

“What–? Did…did you overhear one of the soldiers say something?” she asks, unsure if she wants to know the answer to begin with.

“No,” Solek shakes his head. “But what we did to them is something they will never forget. They were brought to shame by their ‘lessers’. With every strike we make, we will find them better prepared and more powerful. It is one of the many things that follows a battle like the one we had.”

Tamtey swallows, focusing on the pace of her breathing. “Then we will simply prepare better, in return. Fight fire with fire, so they say.”

So’lek faces her now, eyes creasing in slight confusion at the human phrase, but considers the younger na’vi with thoughtful eyes. 

“I say this not to fill you with fear, but when you have endured the depravity of humans for as long as we have…it is almost an instinct in feeling.”

“I understand,” she replies, nodding. Frankly, she’s found herself second-guessing the friendliness of the human Resistance members quite often. It wasn’t uncommon for one of the soldiers at TAP to play ‘nice’, only to show their true colors whenever it humored them. 

So’lek trails his gaze over the rest of the Sarentu once, maybe twice, before he looks back to Tamtey. 

“I have been given information on a base close to here; a steam outpost. There is a colonel there that I intend to kill. He will be at the base tomorrow, as it is a maintenance day. Whatever that is.”

“They’re taking the day to check that everything is working as it should be,” Tamtey explains, nodding. “A good distraction. I’m guessing you’ll need my help?”

“SID will make disabling the turrets much quicker, along with what it is intended to do; destroy their systems.” So’lek pauses to take out the cooking plate and removes the cap. The meat is cooked with a beautiful roasting color, and the mushrooms are sheen in the grease that has also crisped the edges. Tamtey finds herself having to swallow spit as her mouth waters from the aroma. He sets the food into even portions for everybody into leaves reinforced to hold food, handing off the first plate to Tamtey herself.

“We will go over supplies in the morning and leave at first light. For now,” he takes a leafy plate of food for himself. “Let us take the evening to eat, rest, and prepare.”

The rest of the day was uneventfully calm and filled with moments of the Sarentu creating things with their hands and imaginations under the guidance of Rasi. Tamtey sat with Ri’nela as they finished weaving a piece together and began watching Teylan’s attempts at weaving an armguard. The Sarentu tsahik has a smile on her face, but Tamtey knows better than most that part of it is meant to be a mask– she needs to be the strong leader they need right now, despite Tamtey being right here and perfectly capable. Moreover, Ri’nela thinks she needs to look strong and collected in spite of her personal worries about a certain Na’vi gone rogue. So’lek remains with the group, occupying himself with stretching and drying pelts from the morning's hunt. It brings relief to Tamtey that he’s trying to give himself permission to find belonging in the people among him; if it were up to the Sarentu, they would accept him as part of their family in a heartbeat. But they understand that this is something that must be gradual and to the pace So’lek sets. No one else. 

✨✨✨

In the morning, Tamtey is swift and quiet as she slips past Teylan and Ri’nela’s sleeping mats as they’re individually curled into their own blankets. It’s breezy this morning, and Tamtey has to fight back a yawn and almost childish need to crawl back into her own blankets. But there’s a job to do— a base to dismantle— and the sooner she gets it done and over with, the better.

Telisi is already awake when she reaches the designated resting spot above camp, eagerly snapping her jaws at Tamtey as she sets her equipment down to re-tighten her harness straps. As she holsters her bow and rifle, she reaches into her pack for her ear-piece to put it back on. With a soft press of a button, she's connected to the frequency used by the Resistance members on this side of Pandora and hears the static of another person on the radio as well.

“So’lek?” she says, finger pressed to the button still in order for her message to go through. She releases it and gives the frequency the time it needs to transmit. And, like clock-work, she hears the ping of a reply message come in.

“Sarentu,” The Dog-Tag Warrior greets her in his battle-ready voice. “I am camped close to the base. I’m sending you my location now.”

Iley cries out in greeting and welcome as Telisi glides into landing on the ground, the younger ikran cocking her head and making clicking sounds into the air. A sign of appeasement, Anufi explained to her once. Iley shakes his head and returns a rumble, accepting Telisi’s offer of friendliness with a guarded indifference. 

Tamtey gives Telisi a few head scratches before she leaves the ikran to her own devices, stepping up to stand beside where So’lek stood. It was a good vantage point, where So’lek set up camp, and it oversaw a majority of the anti-air turrets set around the perimeter of the base. She could certainly hit a few of the turrets from this distance— with her arrows, that is. But knowing So’lek, he’d rather be swift and quiet than swift and deadly.

And that difference between them is exactly why Tamtey is the one referred to as Death on Wings and not So’lek, once known as Nightsinger. As much as she hates to admit it, the RDA comes up with some pretty badass names for them. 

“There are many soldiers on foot with their suits unoccupied,” So’lek begins, nodding to the turrets. “It will be good to disable them as we work through the turrets.”

“I’ll need your eyes to watch my back, especially for the AMP suits,” Tamtey replies, “oftentimes, I’ve found them hooked up to their docking stations and some bases get an alert when one of them malfunctions.”

“Then we will be quick,” So’lek decides, turning his gaze to her as he points his hand out to the docking station visible from here, “I will position above the hangar where I can watch for you. Ardent, the Lieutenant Colonel, will likely send out his lessers before he decides to step out to confront us. I will take care of him while watching you.”

The young Sarentu nods in resolution, looking down to double-check her ammo as So’lek does the same. It’s in the preparation for these missions that Tamtey finds herself wondering. Be it wondering about the ‘what ifs’, of the possibility of timelines existing where the RDA hadn’t dug its claws into Pandora; and, above all, if this war is what is meant to be the fate of Pandora and its inhabitants.

Will the Sarentu ever get to live to see the Pandora they’ve heard about in songs and stories passed through clans? Will they ever revive the clans in the ways their ancestors did in the time of the First Songs?

As So’lek begins to walk towards his position, Tamtey calls out to him and asks the question aloud before she can stop herself. “So’lek? Do you think there’s an end to this? The war?”

At that, So’lek pauses and his shoulders stiffen. But then, he sighs heavily and his back muscles deflate and relax with reluctance. Finally, he turns back around to look into Tamtey’s eyes as he gives her his reply. 

“There is no end in sight, Tamtey.” His face is hardened to steel, almost as if he is guarding his own emotions from being seen or felt. What matters now is this mission, because what’s the point of wondering and dreaming if you end up failing?

 “But maybe, with our efforts, perhaps we can bring the end of the war to us sooner.” He nods to Tamtey, wishing her good luck with a small smile, before turning around once again to hop down the cliff.

✨✨✨

Disabling the turrets was easy, as was disabling the unoccupied AMP suits strewn about and the Samson parked at the helipad. Seriously, when’s the RDA gonna learn to not leave equipment out like this? 

It’s as she’s finishing disabling the last drill that the alarm sounds, red and yellow lights beginning to flash all around the base. With a curse under her breath, she makes quick work with SID before pocketing it to draw an arrow and aims it at the exhaust fan. She releases it and watches as the arrow pierces through the blades of the fan, sparks spitting before the explosion within happens and renders the entire base useless. 

Tamtey hears the shuffling of boots and already has another arrow drawn when she whips around, unloading onto the soldier’s chest before he has the chance to raise his gun. With ease, she leans over the body and wrenches the arrow from it seamlessly, drawing her bow once more in readiness. As she looks up and around for any sight of So’lek, she sees a grenade set off to her right followed by a flurry of gunshots, beckoning Tamtey.

But when she turns the corner to the entryway of the warehouse, her heart drops to her stomach at the sight. So’lek is in the air, held by his kuru, thrashing about to gain any momentum to wrangle himself out of the grip. The man in the AMP suit is scowling, a fresh cut across his nose apparent as the blood drips down his face in rivulets. In one of his mechanical hands is the rifle that belongs to So’lek, pointed to the Na’vi and level with his chest. With a sharp tug, So’lek cries out and stops thrashing for a moment, the shock from the pain clearly disorienting him. The human laughs out and says…something, she can’t make it out. Or maybe he just kept taunting him under his breath? It doesn’t matter right now. It doesn’t matter because whatever was said was meant to be departing words as he pressed the rifle to So’lek’s chest.

But Tamtey already has her arrow drawn and ready, not able to breathe, and silently praying to Eywa to guide her hand. And it's at that moment, when she’s finished her prayer, that she releases the arrow with a yell. It’s as if time itself slows as she watches the arrow travel in its trajectory, if the man would turn his AMP suit just a little more to the left–

Be it by sheer luck or perfect timing on Tamtey’s end, the arrow lodges itself into one of the energy packs on the back of the suit. It is the same side of the arm that’s holding So’lek up, and with the sudden sever in communications the mechanical arm goes limp and releases the Na’vi in its grasp. So’lek meets the ground with a thump followed by a prolonged groan, but Tamtey knows she can’t waste time checking on him right now.

The AMP has fallen to his knees, systems across the machinery short-circuiting and losing function, but the man in the suit looks to her with maniacal eyes. Despite having to work against the free weight of the suit, he tries with his other arm to bring the rifle forward and aim it in Tamtey’s direction.

“Come at me, bitch!” he shouts, roaring again as he wills the broken suit to obey his movements, but he’s too slow.

He was too slow with the rifle to pull the trigger before Tamtey shot another arrow– successfully landing its target right in between his eyes. And with that killing shot, the man finally goes limp and the AMP suit soon follows. It falls backwards and crashes onto the ground in a heap of metal, becoming like a casket for the man’s contorted corpse trapped within. She doesn’t need to check if he’s dead.

Releasing her breath that she’s held for what feels like ages, she ignores the throbbing in her head as she jogs over to So’lek and kneels beside him. With a firm grip on his hand with hers and the other hand gently guiding him by his shoulder, he winces as he’s pulled into a sitting position and motions towards his ribs.

“Where else did he hit you?” Tamtey asks, eyes already scanning over his body to assess for further injuries. A few of his ribs are fractured, that’s for certain, along with a concussion and some other bone bruises maybe. “Did you get shot anywhere?”

“No,” So’lek shakes his head before looking up to her. “Did he get away?”

Tamtey blinks. “N-no, I…I killed him.”

So’lek doesn’t say anything as he stares through Tamtey’s face for a little longer before his gaze finally snaps to the scene around him. Dead soldiers lay across the floor, ranging from footmen to AMP suits, and the carnage is made apparent by the multiple spent bullets decorating the area. He eventually sets his gaze on the fallen suit behind him, recognition flickering across his eyes as he tries to stand up. With a groan, and out of sheer will, he’s able to stand and limp over to the body. Tamtey doesn’t follow him, simply watches as he stops to look over the man’s features. The silence becomes all the more tense, the only thing audible being the distant alarm bells across the base. Then, she notices his tail begin to twitch, then lash, and his hands flexing against his sides.

Is he…is he angry right now?

“So’lek?” Tamtey calls to him, “I didn’t mean to take the kill from you, I know he was one of your targets, but he would’ve killed you before you got the chance.”

So’lek turns back to her at that, amber eyes burning in a silent rage. A rage too old for Tamtey to recognize from previous encounters with him. She stands up now, puzzled, but remains tall.

“You disrespected my wishes, Sarentu,” he tells her, voice even and hard. 

What?

“What–” Tamtey stutters, “I ran into you about to be another tally mark for an RDA commander and did what any sane person would; I saved you.”

“He was my kill,” So’lek growls, “I told you to leave him to me.”

“So what was I supposed to do?” Tamtey retorts, “Just sit there and watch you get shot to death?”

“I had it under control!”

“You were going to die, So’lek!” she cries out, voice rising in volume. “If I hadn’t stepped in—“

“You,” So’lek snaps, tail lashing aggressively, “had no right, regardless. Do you have any idea what—“

But So’lek stops himself and clenches his jaw and fists instead, eyes avoiding Tamtey’s completely.

She feels fucking sick. She’s gonna throw up. But her heart is beating so hard that she’s feeling it pulse around her head. The pulses are radiating across her body now and her head feels…like she was floating.  The distant sounds from the burning debris become muffled, for a moment, as she’s momentarily taken back to the moment that Aha’ri died. 

Right when the bullets hit her back— two was enough to kill a Na’vi as young and small as she was— but maybe if Tamtey had just gone ahead with her. As her sister, hand in hand. Maybe Mercer would’ve shot both of them and she’d have taken one for her and Aha’ri would still be here—

No. No. He does not get to do this to her and become another death she could have prevented.

“…You know what,” Tamtey snarls, “if you want to die to a human so badly, be my fucking guest. I have enough ghosts that haunt me daily and I definitely do not need another one– especially from you and your stupidity.”

She feels more words bubbling out and ready to strike— curse words and analogies scrambling into an incoherent mush in her mind as she swiftly turns to mount Telisi, back to So’lek.

But she feels a hand latch onto her arm and pulls her to turn around with a tug, almost pleading with her. Yet Tamtey is far too angry— too hurt— to stop herself from baring her teeth in a hiss. Ears flattened and feathers framing her face hauntingly like the crown of a palulukan. She sees So’lek bite back a flinch at the hiss, his own ears flattened against his head and eyes clouded in regret. But his muscles are wound up now, too, tense, and his tail hangs low and only twitches now.

“Sarentu—“ he starts, but his hold on her arm is so gentle that she over exerts her arm out of it. Strike one was his irritation at her saving him. This was strike two. 

“I have a name, you know,” Tamtey hisses, even angrier now. “Not like you ever use it—“

“Tamtey.” His voice has an edge of desperation to it, unknowingly succeeding in appeal to that small spot in her heart held for the Dog Tag Warrior. “That is not what I meant. You do not know the story between me and that man. You do not understand what I have endured.”

“No,” Tamtey scoffs, starting to shake her head, “no, you don’t understand what I’ve been through. I watched my own sister— the last of my family— die, and what did I do? I just watched.”

It was in that moment that the realization dawns on So’lek— as she sees the clarity brighten his eyes— and his forehead creases in shock. But it’s too late now, they’re both far-too driven by their individual pride and trauma to find a compromise in that moment. Tamtey breathes heavily from the overwhelm of the memories, hurt, guilt, and an overbearing sense of shame at her outburst. 

The air feels like it's getting thin, her body is both simmering and trembling as if she's a bomb about to go off, and she can’t stand to be here anymore right now. Whether it be close to an RDA site or So’lek, she doesn’t know nor care; she just needs the space and time to gather her bearings again and think. Because if she doesn't, especially if she's near So'lek, she might just explode. So, before the discomfort becomes visible, she returns to mounting on top of Telisi and brings down her visors from her crown-guard with a sharp snap. When she looks up to him again, So’lek keeps his hardened gaze on her even as she looks up at the sky and Telisi launches herself upwards into the air with her bonded in tow. 

And before he becomes too small for her to make out, she sees his fists clench against his sides as his head bows, eyes shut tight and brows furrowed in frustration. The remorse is clearer than ever, now, but it’s still too late. They've brought up each other's walls by defaulting to their old habits...both survivalist, in nature, but birthed from immense pain and guilt. As she tries to blink away the tears born from the frustration and hurt, Tamtey feels another kind of emptiness gnawing at her. But at the same time, she finds her focusing on that feeling just making her even more angry and hurt and she needs to use her hands to dry her growing tears.

Why, goddammit, she thought to herself. Why is she so hurt by all of this? They're just words, driven by anger and wounded pride- she knows this. They are just fucking words, she almost screams at herself in her mind, so why? Why does he get under her skin without even doing or saying anything, but when he does say or do something she can't stop thinking about it?

And why does it feel soul-warming sometimes, but soul-crushing in moments like this?

✨✨✨

After taking a few hours to fly, hunt, and decompress, Tamtey decides it's time to head home. For tonight, she thinks she’ll set up shop at HQ and take the night to confide in Ri’nela about her feelings when everybody's asleep. She lets her mind wander as the air lock door hisses before opening, and it’s as she’s walking into the hub that she notices So’lek is not at his usual spot.

He’s not in any of his usual spots, yet nobody around her seems to be phased by his absence…which means that he was here but left right before she arrived. 

Which would also mean that he’s avoiding her. Great. Stellar, even. 

Tamtey sighs, letting the physical and mental exhaustion from the day sag her body and bones. Her stomach grumbles, only now remembering that she hasn’t eaten since morning. It’s as she’s taking stock of her hunt and deciding what to make for dinner as she takes out a smaller pack clearly filled with something.

Whatever it is, Tamtey can feel that one of the items is firm and decent in weight with lighter items almost cushioning it. Upon opening the pack, she’s met with the pungent odor of gasoline and rot and scowls as she empties the pack's contents.

There is a Bladehead horn— in the beginning stages of decay from the pollution caked onto it— with decent-sized balls of lion-fiber and dapophet pods. They’re all far too polluted to be used, but Tamtey didn’t go out of her way to forage them for herself. With the success of re-establishing the research stations across the Frontier, Alex has been eager to begin gathering samples and test his hypotheses on the effects the RDA machinery has had on the ecosystem. 

Though he was hesitant to ask Tamtey for more samples, mostly due to the fact that she ran into a Thanator in her last research run, her eagerness in finding the answers to the questions that she has about this acquiesced him enough. That following morning, Tamtey had set off with a salute and grin and returned in the evening with a bag full of ruined materials, a grin still plastered on her face. It took a couple more successful runs before Alex came around to asking Tamtey himself without shame, and its only been in the last couple of weeks that he’s allowed her to sit in, watch his procedures, and answer questions she’d have throughout the night. 

As a topic, research was interesting to her as someone so curious about everything around her. It is the gateway to knowledge and answers, yet that’s a fact that’s also been used to defend the ‘research’ the RDA has done on Pandora. The Severed were the icing on the cake, but after she saw Harding's personal collection of taxidermy and personal trophies she realized that the ‘rules’ researchers are meant to go by never existed in Pandora in the first place. No matter their level of intelligence, the inhabitants of this planet will always be seen as lesser-than, so much so that they aren’t even given the same protections that animals on Earth are. 

Tamtey stops herself at that thought and shakes her head, eyes squeezing close and snapping open to clear her head of any more of these thoughts. So, she sets the items back into the small bag and heads downstairs to find Alex at his research station.

“Hey, Tam!” Alex greets her in habit, although he isn’t looking at her as he’s more engrossed in whatever’s happening in the petri dish in front of him. “Got some more stuff for me to dissect?”

“Dissecting would imply I brought a cadaver,” Tamtey notes, smiling when he looks up to her with an approving glance, “which I still don’t know how I’m going to do. But I knew better than to come empty-handed.”

“Wonderful!” Alex claps his hands lightly and slides his chair out to stand up. Taking the bag from her, he hums in satisfaction as he inspects the bladehead horn. 

“Good job, was the poor thing gone by the time you found it?” he asks.

Tamtey nods. “It looks like the pollution got to him. I didn’t see any injuries on him, either.” 

The biologist sighs, shaking his head. “I’m starting to worry that, with all of these sites popping up, it's only concentrating the pollution and ultimately killing the wildlife quicker.”

“Is there a way you can find out with this sample?”

“Maybe, I have some ideas…could you grab a clean dish from the cabinet for me?”

It’s about an hour into Alex mixing liquids, using the titration machine to finalize the solvent needed to express the sample, and Tamtey finds her mood calmed down as she watches the meticulous and gentle maneuvering of Alex’s hands. He begins to hum a song she’s heard Alma hum in the past— must be a song from their childhoods— and he smiles when she begins to hum songs she’s learned along the way. She quiets down when Alex begins using the pipette to fill the dish with the solvent and then grabs to swab the sample onto the same dish with a serious crease to his brows. As he finishes the final swab, he releases a small breath and rotates the dish as he mumbles aloud.

“As easy as it may look, this is probably every chemist's least favorite part of an experiment. One swipe too hard, and the sample’s fucked.”

Tamtey snorts. It’s very rare that she hears Alex curse, but whenever he does it’s almost at the least expected moments of silence. 

“Alright, now we wait!” Alex announces as he gingerly places the dish into the small fridge on his desk, absentmindedly removing his gloves and discarding them. “So, what’s got both you and So’lek so worked up to the point where you’re avoiding each other?”

The smile on Tamtey’s face completely fades, and her eyes trail to the ground. “So he was here?”

“Came as soon as he went, all he said to me was that you’d have some stuff for me to test,” Alex says, wiping his hands of invisible dust as a self-sooth. “He didn’t tell me anything else, which means he’s too pissed off to talk about it. It’s funny, though we don’t share a language or culture, I've been able to figure out his mannerisms.”

Tamtey frowns, nodding along as she’s listening. “You and So’lek met before joining the Resistance, right?”

Alex nods. “We were both captured by the RDA. I refused to ignore my principles for their interests of creating mindless beasts, so they threw me in a cell. For So’lek, well, it was for a much simpler reason. We both know that.”

“What…happened?” Tamtey asks, before quickly adding on. “If you’re okay with telling me.”

“It wasn’t far off from what you guys went through at TAP, if I’m being completely honest.” There’s a sudden weariness to Alex’s demeanor, and Tamtey gets the sense that although he’s okay talking about it…remembering it is just as difficult. 

It’s strange how trauma seems to connect all of them to each other, in one way or another.

“Be it from the random beatings to the taunting— from the humiliation and fear tactics, all the way to the oxygen torture they like to put you guys through. For us, it was standing outside without masks.”

Tamtey shudders. “They tried to break you, like how they wanted to do with us.”

“I’d be lying if I said they weren’t close, but So’lek refused to give up. At first I thought it might’ve been his pride, but as I got to know him better I realized that he was already broken once. And now, he was trying to find his new calling, his purpose…”

Alex pauses to spare a glance at Tamtey, and the young Na’vi is comfortably sat beside him with her back leaning against the desk as she listens very intently. With a dip of his chin, he takes a breath and continues to recount his past life to the eager girl:

“He didn’t trust me, at first. He hated me for being in a cell next to his,” Alex laughs at that memory, lips pulled into a soft smile, “but I never took it personally. I knew who he was and could only imagine what he’d gone through before our paths crossed. So I decided to try to show him that he could trust me. And that I didn’t have any ulterior motives.”

“We eventually escaped and met up with the Resistance, and So’lek…” Alex trails off, thoughtful in how he wants to recount the events, “he hadn’t been super miffed by Alma and her Avatar, and was even more irked when we asked for his help in training us. Who were we, a rag-tag group of defectors, to ask a Na’vi to teach us how to fight without working to gain his trust first? 

“But, even with all of that justified hatred, he stayed,” Alex says, eyebrows unconsciously creasing in wonder and confusion. “He left to take care of a patrol, of which I was certain he was going to use as an opportunity to get the hell away from us. But instead…he came back. With supplies and weapons, he explained his plans to eliminate the RDA members responsible for his clan’s demise and his personal trauma while eliminating bases and providing training to those who need it. Eventually, things began to change; slowly but surely.”

“So…” Tamtey swallows. “Has he gotten a good chunk of them? The RDA members on his hit-list?”

Alex shakes his head, frowning, implying that it’s been some time since So’lek has gotten a lead that someone would be on this side of the planet. 

That…that explains it, Tamtey decides. That’s why he was so angry when he found that she had finished off the Lieutenant Colonel. If he was a colonel, he probably would’ve been something close to a Captain during or after Ayram Alusing. But she suddenly remembers something that had happened, a small moment that her mind had put a pin on, right before she released the arrow into his energy pack.

She thought she had hallucinated it, at first, but with Alex’s detailing of their tactics on prisoners she understands that what she heard was very real. 

The man had said something in Na’vi to So’lek before his lips curled into a cruel, lifeless smile. 

“Did So’lek know English?” she asks abruptly. “When you were imprisoned together?”

Alex blinks at the random inquiry. “I mean, he knew enough for us to converse, but he’d never talk to the soldiers. They tried appealing to him by bringing someone who spoke Na’vi, not like it got them anywhere. He didn’t have the intel they were convinced they had, after all.”

Bingo. God fucking dammit, Tamtey.

“I’ll talk to So’lek in the morning,” she announces to Alex, standing up and giving a grateful nod to the biologist. “Thank you, Alex. Without you, I’d never be able to figure that man out.”

“It’s always a pleasure doing business with you, Tamtey,” Alex replies, saluting her with two fingers before stifling a yawn. “With that said, I’m hitting the can. Per usual spiel, if it’s not on the verge of blowing up, please let a man enjoy his beauty sleep.”

Tamtey laughs and bids him goodnight before she finds a free cot to sleep in, herself. She’s going to need sleep, with how early she intends to wake in the morning, as that's the only time she can guarantee finding So’lek in a known area.

✨✨✨

Thanks to a bit of help from Telisi, Tamtey manages to find So’lek, much closer to HQ than she had anticipated, at the shores of Dyer’s Bowl. Iley is beside him, taking gulps of water before setting off into the air again, hovering over the lake to catch any fish that dare breach the surface. She decides to not walk up to the duo from behind— that'd be too cruel, so she guides Telisi to land at the small island in the middle of the lake. 

The tree in the middle of the island does wonders in shielding her from the hot afternoon sun— the first sign of light after a few days in a row of solely rain— and she crouches down to rinse her hands with the cold water by the shore. As if on cue, there is the thump of an ikran landing beside her, but Tamtey lets out a startled shout as she’s met with the eyes of Iley.

“Jesus fucking—!“ Tamtey bites her tongue and winces, quickly looking around as if someone— Alma— might have heard her put a prophet's name in vain. Not like Alma’s disapproval would stop her from cursing, never did, but she knows when ‘to rein it in’ for Alma’s sake. After gathering her bearings, she gives Iley a glowering and unimpressed look. 

“You scared me, you know,” she says. As expected, Iley shakes his head in indifference before he points his snout downwards. There lies a freshly caught mudfish, claw marks from the older ikran almost non-existent. And it's as she’s admiring the catch that Tamtey realizes that the cleanliness of the kill was purposefully done. 

He’s meaning to give this to her as a gift, like how Telisi does with some of her kills. 

“Oh, Iley.” Tamtey coos at the ikran, not daring to touch him or hover her hand close to him, instead smiling and tilting her head to lock gazes with Iley. “You didn’t have to do that…thank you, buddy.”

Iley snaps his jaw once in response, pushing the fish towards her with her snout before he turns his head around to squawk at Telisi. Tamtey looks back with him and chuckles when she finds her bonded trying to invite Iley to a race by nipping at his tail.

As soon as the mood begins to lighten itself with their antics, the two ikran begin nipping at each other as Iley takes off into the sky, barrel-rolling along the bank in a tease. Telisi immediately joins him in the fun and it’s as if both ikran are blissfully unaware of the tension that remains heavy between their riders. Tamtey decides to stand and look across the pond to So’lek, who is already looking at her. Her breath catches, for a moment, and clears her throat as a diversion before wading through the stream over to So’lek. When she came before him, his eyes were still on her and she found herself fiddling with her fingers to calm the waves in her stomach.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted yesterday,” Tamtey begins, “I know how much it means to you to bring justice to the RDA members that wronged you and your clan. It wasn’t fair of me to hold my trauma over you.”

So’lek doesn’t say anything at first, gaze fixed on her face, lips pursed as he tries to find the right response to Tamtey’s apology. Eventually, he settles with an apology of his own.

“I am sorry, too,” he says, “It was unfair of me to be angry with you for saving me. Despite my personal wants, you did the right thing by subduing him. Had you not been there…”

He doesn’t need to elaborate on what would’ve happened if Tamtey hadn’t arrived in time, but her chest still tightens at the possibility of So’lek dying because she was too late. She fiddles with her hands, averting her gaze to the pebbles framing the shoreline, trying to muster the courage to continue. 

“It wasn’t fair of me to bring up my sister’s death, either,” she says, forcing her eyes back up to So’lek despite the shame blooming in her stomach. “I’m sorry, So’lek.”

So’lek raises his hand to stop her from saying any further, shaking his head. “We are both plagued by ghosts of our pasts, Tamtey. It is our fear of losing people that drives us…but it can also blind us.” He brings his raised hand to lay flat against his chest. “And, although I am older by lived experience— I, too, can become blind if I am not careful. I allowed this…carnal want to kill take over, and that is no fault of your own.”

They’ve had a similar conversation to this in the past— specifically after Harding had laid waste to the Celebration Arches in the Great Plains— when Tamtey found herself willfully going blind with rage. Like So’lek, it became an almost carnal want (maybe even a need) to avenge the fallen, innocent Zeswa by killing as many RDA as possible. All the better if she could get her hands on Harding or one of her cronies. But So’lek had to wrench her back into the realm of reality– although the thirst for revenge is warranted, they must be careful in order to avoid any more needless deaths.

And, ultimately, the patience did pay off.

“It’s hard to not let the things that happened to us affect us,” Tamtey agrees, nodding, “no matter how hard you try to ignore it or forget…it’s always there.”

“But,” So’lek chimes in, “there is a way to live with it. And to not let it do what it did to me for so long.”

“Is that why the RDA captured you?” Tamtey snaps her jaws shut as soon as the words leave– what first began as an intrusive thought quickly turned into words formed by her foolish tongue. It's too late now.

But So’lek does not clam up, although there is a glint of interest in his eyes at her suddenly bringing this up, but he nods and responds without protest. “Partly. I was called the Nightsinger for a time because I would hunt their camps at night. But I was no different from the other Na’vi across Pandora who hunted RDA all the same. However the Sky People, in all of their wisdom, thought that somehow we were all connected to one another, sent by the Resistance.”

Tamtey scoffs softly. Humans and their lust for concocting the most obscure and unrealistic scenarios based off of one small detail.

“I-I’m sorry,” she mutters, “I had asked Alex a bit about your past since I know you two met before the Resistance. I don’t really know why I did it–- I guess to figure out why you freaked out–-?”

“Tamtey,” So’lek cuts in, a hand rising to placate her, “I do not mind. If understanding why is what helps you work through your troubles, that is alright. Just as I need the time and space alone to work through mine.”

“Is that why you weren’t at HQ that evening?” she asks, feeling her chest open with a fresh breath of air. This whole time, she thought he was avoiding her– either so that he wouldn’t lash out or humiliate her by giving her the silent treatment.

When So’lek nods, she releases her breath and feels her shoulders relax. Tamtey feels the familiar prick of tears etching through her eyes and she looks down to her fiddling hands to distract the water-gates from bursting open.

“This whole time, I thought it was because you were so angry at me…”

“I would never be angry with you, Tamtey; you make it hard to simply be annoyed with you, let alone anger.” When she looks up to So’lek again, his amber eyes are looking into hers, reflecting a softness in the molten gold that were his irises. It’s gentle, his expression, and for a moment she feels like she’s almost able to peer into his soul through his eyes. What is it that humans say– the eyes are the window to the soul? Tamtey finds herself unable to tear her gaze away from his, and his eyes are so still it’s as if he’s looking at something that could disappear the next second. Unmoving, as if time itself would stop.

This isn’t how friends talk to each other. 

“I am grateful that you were there,” he says, after Tamtey doesn’t respond, and he makes the move of bringing his palm to his chest in a sign of gratitude, “you acted swiftly and bravely. You saved my life and I have gone too long without voicing my gratitude. Irayo.”

"Well," she says after swallowing her gulp of nerves, "I suppose I should accept your apology first--."

Then, he moves the same palm from his chest to hers, hovering softly over her chest-piece before placing firm; as if asking for permission before he settled. With a faint gasp, Tamtey can only hope that So’lek doesn’t feel her heart accelerate at the touch. She feels her breath catch in her throat when she looks up to find So’lek’s eyes finding hers— and she sees the longing she’s started to become familiar with mirrored in his amber.

"I will never forget all that you have done for me," he whispers, so earnestly and with a touch of fragility. "I promise you, Tamtey."

This nothing like how she is with Teylan or Ri’nela. This doesn't feel like how she feels about them-- as her family.

And before she can even think about it, she raises her hand to hover over his— mirroring his search for permission just now— before fully resting the weight of her palm over his. Tamtey can feel her fingers weave between So’lek’s own, covering the space that they could not and almost merging their hands into one. So’lek doesn’t move, neither does she, and neither of them can seem to take their eyes away from the other.

…God fucking dammit, Tamtey, you’re so screwed.