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Shane had thought with Ilya moving to Ottawa they would manage to see each other more often. That it would be enough, suffice both of their desires and needs for some time at least. He was fundamentally wrong and it really did not help in the slightest that their game schedules this season constantly managed to put as much distance between them as possible. So they saw each other less, overall.
Moreover, at the moment they were arguing quite often, sometimes even real fights over the phone escalated more than both of them wanted to admit. Ilya nagged him about joining the Centaur’s too, Shane pressuring him into silence and not trusting anyone, not even letting Ilya come out to his clearly supportive teammates. After hours of discussions, sex and negotiations they settled on letting Ilya’s coach and the PR head, Harris Drover, know that he was in a committed and long term relationship with a man. As a compromise, Shane promised to talk with Yuna and Farah about the option of signing with the Centaurs in case of a - admittedly most probably - bad reaction in Montreal. He is already getting slurred in the Montreal locker rooms after reacting a few seconds too slowly on a mandatory team event, slowly spreading the rumor of him being gay.
Deep inside both of them know that at one point their relationship would be outed. Not on their - Shane’s terms - but without their consent at all. A hidden truth they would never admit openly, a truth that burdens their relationship heavily. Ilya wanted Shane to be prepared as much as was possible for that day, knowing all too well how horrible it would hit his boyfriend.
But this weekend, they have three whole days only for themselves at last! Ilya had arrived yesterday evening, somewhen around two in the morning after his game and Shane had a rare day - or rather weekend - off before he had to go on a two and a half weeks road trip to the south. They just had a really nice and slow morning, with an amazing lazy fuck in bed before Ilya had started to make Shane breakfast, something the Russian does every time they were able to spent a morning together. He even had adapted fully to Shane’s admittedly ridiculous diet, taking care of what Shane had on his meal plan, adapting it in a way Shane slowly would be reintroduced to more normal eating behaviour before making himself something he enjoyed too, most often a mix between too fat breakfast and Shane’s too clean ones.
Happily, Shane observed the peaceful situation, watching Ilya’s muscles flex with the precise movements, feeling deep inside of him something bubbling he recently started to feel every time something domestic happened between him and Ilya. God, he was pathetic but Ilya was the human he wanted to spend his life with. A blatant realization still hit him with fear and anticipation, but Shane slowly started to like the feeling more than it scares him. Just Ilya not only knew all about his diet and disturbed eating behaviour - yes, Shane could finally admit to himself that his eating behaviour is disturbed and yes, he was seeing a psychologist - but being as supportive to meet Shane were he was and walking from there together with him to normalize Shane’s relationship with food gave him an unknown confidence. A reason why he actually was talking to Farah about leaving Montreal. A reason why even the thought of being outed wasn’t as scary anymore as it used to be. Ilya would be there, Ilya would meet him where Shane would stop walking and would take him to safety. Shane knew Ilya wanted this relationship as much as Shane did with a certainty he never believed he could feel.
But he also never believed he would find his home and destiny in another person, not hockey. In another man moreover. In Ottawa, not Montreal. With a dog cuddling between them or occasionally sleeping in their bed. With spices sometimes not being sorted alphabetically since Ilya still mixes up their English and Russian names, there was a reason why all of their spices were sorted after their Russian names after all, Ilya just not being able to differentiate cinnamon and cardamon correctly based on their names, causing some horrible mistakes they can laugh about now.
And Shane was very happy to be proven wrong in all of these things.
The blaring ringtone of his phone pulls Shane out of his current carousel of thoughts rather unfriendly, making Ilya look up questioningly from his current task of cutting carrots into small pieces. Yesterday night they had agreed on putting their phone on to not disturb, just wanting to enjoy their time alone for weeks to the fullest. Irritated Shane moved through his flat, searching for his phone that was still laying on his couch table innocently. It took him long enough for the sound to stop, obviously connecting the caller to Shane’s mailbox. “It’s Hayden”, Shane informed Ilya, who hummed back in acknowledgment from the kitchen. Of course both of them had several contacts that were able to reach them at any time, Shane’s parents, their coaches, Farah, Hayden and Svetlana. In cases of emergencies. Most probably Hayden just wants to check in with him or something similar, Shane mused and moved back to the kitchen, more interested in watching his boyfriend than thinking about Hayden.
But before he even could reach his kitchen his phone started ringing again and Shane answered instantly. “Hayd? What’s wrong?” He asks, getting more panicky with every word Hayden stammered. “Hayden please talk a bit slower, I can’t understand you. Where are you? What? Nono Hayden, it’s okay. I’m coming, for sure, no problem, nono. You said Misses Miller? The nice old lady on your left?” Shane asks, his brows furrowed and already halfway back into his bedroom. “Okay, yeah sure, Hayden, see you soon”, the call ends as abruptly as it started. Haphazardly Shane pulls on a shirt, not even caring if it is one of his own or Ilya’s already searching for some jeans. In the kitchen Ilya hurried to pack their breakfasts into boxes for them to take with them, then following Shane to put some clothes on himself. He couldn’t go with Shane wherever they had to go just in some briefs. “Ilya I have no time-” Shane sighed, not even really taking care of whatever Ilya was doing and on his way to the frontdoor. “I’m coming with you.” Ilya interrupts unceremoniously, just sounding like Shane just suggested something incredibly dumb, “You can tell me in the car what’s happened”, following Shane now to the front door and grabbing not only the car keys but also the boxes.
Without further interruption they get down to the parking lot and into Shane’s car, Ilya driving whereas Shane starts the navigation so Ilya would know where to drive. “Jackie’s had an accident at home, I’m not completely sure what happened, couldn’t make much sense out of Hayd. It seems bad. Asked me if I could take care of the kids for some while, neither his nor Jackie’s parents are in Montreal at the moment, it seems. The kids are at a neighbour’s right now”, he then explained, concern thick in his voice. Ilya hummed in understanding, following the navi’s directions before answering, “She’s… very pregnant, yes?” Surprised Shane looks up, he hadn’t expected Ilya to remember Jackie was pregnant at all, even less that he actually knew that she was well into it already. “Yes, I think around the seventh or eighth month already.” Ilya hummed again. “Not good, she’s vulnerable that pregnant. Though the baby could survive around that time and be healthy. Depending on what happened.”, he concluded, obviously also worried and nodding in understanding. “Okay, so you introduce me to the kids and then go to Pike, its not good if he’s alone. I can manage the children and you taking care of Pike, making sure Jackie and Baby Pike are fine, yeah?” Looking aghast at Ilya Shane is too stunned to say something. Ilya knows so much about pregnancies, Shane’s friends and wanted to take care of Hayden’s kids alone so Shane could go to calm down his friend in the hospital? That was not only unexpected but completely out of whatever Shane thought would happen. So he stammered some noncommittal sounds, trying to somehow get one of his current thoughts out of his head. As a reaction Ilya just clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. “I don’t think he would appreciate if I would go to the hospital and calm him down, yes? And when parents are away who else should take care of little Pikes? I can take care of kids, obviously. Remember Tampa. And you know I know all of my teammate’s kids and all.” Still trying to understand his partner Shane spent the rest of the drive quiet, just confirming Ilya’s idea one time with a small yes. Ilya has a point with what he said. If Shane was honest with himself, Ilya was perfect with children, he adores them and loves them and just knows how to deal with them. So yes, technically and logically what Ilya had proposed was the right way to do this, even if Shane’s gut was bubbling with something again.
Finally, Ilya pulls up Hayden’s driveway and parks the car next to the big family car the Pikes own. First, they check the empty house, realizing that at least some wounds were involved since they find some blood in the kitchen together with quite a lot of leftovers from the paramedics Hayden had called. Quickly they started cleaning up, not wanting the children to see the blood or all of that medical stuff. Most probably they were already scared enough by everything that happened.
Ilya stays back at Pike's house to clean up the rest as best as he could during the time Shane went over to get the children. Thankfully Shane met Hayden’s and Jackie’s friendly neighbours throughout the years the couple already lived there, so the old woman knew who he was and didn’t make a fuss about letting the children in his care. Jade, Ruby and Arthur were obviously a bit shaken and instantly asked about their mother, not happy to realize that their dad wasn’t back and that their beloved uncle Shane hadn’t had any news about Jackie either.
Taking them back into their home is rather easy, all three children liked their old neighbor but being in their own home and having their beloved uncle Shane they liked way better. Convincing them to stay alone with Ilya is something different, they don’t know him and were already scared enough with everything that happened. It took some time but Ilya manages to convince the children, with a lot of promises that they would do nice things and would play a lot and that they could call their father or Shane at any time and ask them to come back. It relieves Shane immensely seeing the children more or less happily staying with Ilya, trusting his partner enough to access himself and the situation enough to even offer to take care of the children alone. If he is honest with himself for a second he knew Ilya was right with Hayden needing support too. Generally speaking, Ilya was most often right in his assessment of people and social situations.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Shane?!” Hayden asks unbelieving when Shane made his way to the waiting area where a friendly nurse told him Hayden was currently waiting for new information. “You should be with my kids?” Obviously Hayden is suspicious and wants some answers. “I was there, they’re safe and sound and taken care of. I… wasn’t alone this morning. And you need some help too, no?” Shane smiles reassuringly at Hayden before sitting down next to him, pulling him into a hug. “I’m so sorry, do you already know something new?” Hayden’s quiet for a few seconds, shaking his head to answer Shane’s question. “Oh fuck, Lily’s visiting? I’m so sorry Shane, I know you two don’t have much time for each other at the moment, I’m so sorry to-”
“No, it’s all good. Everything will be okay, it doesn't matter now. The only thing that matters is Jackie and the baby being okay, Hayd. Let us take care of the rest, your kids will be fine. And it is okay, not ideal but you’re my friend, Jackie is my friend too and I love your children, for sure we’re helping you guys.”
It took several minutes until Hayden calmed down again after starting to sob wildly and unashamedly in Shane's arms. He manages to tell Shane what had happened that morning, how chaotic it was, the children loud and active, that somehow Jackie slipped in the kitchen, hitting her head before landing on her belly. Not knowing what to do he had called directly the ambulance, ushering the kids into the living room before trying to help Jackie who was laying in the kitchen and screamed in pain. When the paramedics arrived his neighbour came over, realizing that something had happened and wanting to help, so she had taken care of the panicking children. In the end Jackie was rushed into the ER with Hayden calling an Uber to follow her, not being able to drive safely by his own and thankfully aware enough about this fact. There he had called Shane. Jackie was still in surgery, they had brought her there directly from the ER after stitching her laceration. The nurses told him it wasn’t anything critical but they had to make sure everything was fine and still in place, to say so.
“That sounds okay, I mean for the amount of blood and stuff in your kitchen. It kinda scared the shit out of me, if I’m honest. The doctors know what they need to do and the baby and Jackie will be fine. Better they take time and make sure everything is good than rushing stuff”, Shane nods in understanding, slightly pressing Hayden’s shoulder before both of them fall quiet and are just lost in their own thoughts.
Roughly two hours after Shane had left Ilya with the children Shane’s phone starts to vibrate several times. Both men flinch, before Shane clumsily pulls out his phone. Ilya has sent him various messages and Shane is more than happy that Ilya is still saved as ‘Lily’, though Shane has added a heart and a dog emoji for good measure.
Holy fucking shit Ilya was good with children.
Shanke shakes slightly, staring at the pictures with an unknown amount of different feelings crushing in on him at an instant. They had never talked that much about children, not intensely at least. Shane really can not unpack that many feelings right now, not when Hayden needs him more or less clearminded. “Hayden, look”, Shane whispers, showing Hayden the pictures. “They look happy and healthy. And trusting. Lily’s really good with kids it seems. And he made them healthy food, Jackie would be so happy.” Hayden sobs again, taking the phone out of Shane’s hands with trembling hands. Shane doesn’t even think a second about it, still trying to wrap his head around the idea that Ilya was good with kids that he doesn’t even realize that Hayden gendered ‘Lily’ as a man. Deliberately, it seems. Slowly Hayden takes Shane’s phone out of his hands, looking at the pictures and cradling the phone to his chest, Shane hugging him more or less on autopilot. Mostly to calm himself down than Hayden, but it works for both of them. Minutes later Hayden asks hesitantly if they could answer something, giving Shane back his phone.
Ilya doesn’t react instantly, not that any of them are mad about it. Shortly after silence settles over them again, Hayden a bit more relieved, Shane with a new discovery.
Shane wants a family with Ilya. Kids. With Ilya.
Actually, he wants the whole deal with a house, white garden fence, hell even a dog. Ilya loves dogs. And they had fucking argued about moving together and spent nights together when life could be over in one second. He had been so dumb and ignorant and yeah, scared. Scared to be outed, to lose something. But what could he lose? His image, his current job, most probably some of his so-called friends, some sponsors. Nothing earth-shattering, overall.
Ilya on the other hand has already made his decision. He has chosen Shane over and over again and now Shane kinda felt dumb and embarrassed how long it had taken him to understand that for him there was never a real decision either. His heart and soul and body had already chosen Ilya, only his mind was still being a pain in the ass.
Both of them lost completely track of time, just lost in their own thoughts and working through the amount of emotions they were currently dealing with until a nurse called after Hayden. He realizes quickly Hayden alone wouldn’t be really helpful, so he asks Shane too to follow him. As they walk through several halls and go up a floor the nurse explains what had happened, that they originally had planned to leave the baby with Jackie and enabling a more natural way for everything to go. But unfortunately during the surgery things shifted a bit and they had to deliver the baby a bit earlier than it should be. The risks for the newborn were low enough though they had to deliver it a bit earlier than normal. Currently the newborn is in the NICU, but has already passed several exams and is completely healthy, as the nurse tells them. When they finally arrive at the NICU the nurse shows them how to put on the mandatory clothing before they are allowed close to Amber, as Hayden and Jackie decide beforehand how their newborn should be named. “She’s cleared from the doctors, it would be good if the father would hold her closely for some time, she needs bonding time with their parents. Later you can also feed her and a doctor will visit to explain everything. Come, I will help you and show you how to get her out of the incubator”, the nurse smiles, shuffling over and handling Amber over to Hayden’s arms, showing mostly Shane how to handle everything and what to take care of since unfortunately Amber was still connected with several cables to check on her. “Her mother is still in surgery but as long as I’m informed everything is good and working accordingly.” The nurse excuses himself before leaving Shane and Hayden with Amber who was tugged gently to Hayden’s chest, sleeping peacefully.
“And, what’s Lily saying?” Hayden asks, still a derpy smile on his face, but now settled back into a cozy armchair, Amber sleeping in his arms and snoring softly. “That she’s cute, congrats and crossed fingers for Jackie. We need to do the paper stuff now. Don’t look at me like that, I will write, just answer, yeah?” Shane grins, knowing how little Hayden likes paperstuff and official documents and how less he is able to concentrate on anything at the moment. Shane on the other side is already looking forward to filling out the endless forms, giving him an opportunity to be able to sort through his own thoughts while filling out standardized lame forms.
In the afternoon after everything was settled with Amber and way too many forms another nurse informs them that Jackie is out of surgery and now in the ICU, they could visit her shortly. According to the nurse, Jackie should also be awake when they get there. At the ICU a doctor directly explains how Jackie’s surgery went, but neither of them are currently able to file that information away too, just wanting to speak to Jackie and make sure she was good too.
Around six in the evening Jackie is finally awake and clear enough to understand what her husband and Shane are trying to tell her. When the thought of Amber being born and healthy really sunk in, after she had seen the picture of Hayden feeding their daughter, she cried for minutes, pulling Hayden and Shane with her so all three of them were sitting in the room and crying for their lives. Calming Hayden down enough for the man to be able to leave the hospital for at least the night is a joint effort of Shane and Jackie, who is thankfully way more clearheaded than her husband even though she had been through a hell of a day overall. With a whole list of things she and Amber would need as well as the promise of Shane to give her number to ‘Lily’ so she could say thanks to Shane’s partner personally for taking care of their other children both men left the hospital way after nine in the evening, having still a half an hour drive or more to go back to Hayden’s home. Shane never drives fast and especially not after such a day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shane just pulls on Hayden’s driveway and parks the car when Hayden’s hand finds one of Shanes. Hayden looks troubled, but open. “You know, Shane, listen. Uhm… I know Lily is a man. Jackie knows too. And we’re happy for you, we don’t care. I don’t care, listen. You are with him longer than you know me and he makes you happy. Whatever was going on during your time with Rose, I never was more happy for you when you got back together with him. And he seems to be a good person, the kids love him and you know what people say. Kids and animals can identify good souls, and Lily is a good soul.” Hayden says before taking a deep breath and leaving the car. He had spoken steadily and soothingly but by absolutely no god he felt as calm as he had spoken. He is seconds before shitting his pants about whoever he will find in his house in some minutes, but showing Shane his insecurity was no option. And as Shane just wants to prove Hayden’s thought, he falters and trips behind Hayden, barely managing to avoid falling.
But nothing could have prepared either of them for what they found in the house. It is dark and silent in the house, only a soft light burning in the kitchen, the door ajar as well as the living room door. In the living room another lamp burns, if Hayden is right it is Jade’s bedside lamp. For sure both of them expected the children to be asleep by now, but not that Shane’s partner would be asleep too. Silently they both entered the living room, trying to take the situation in without panicking or waking everyone up.
The big couch is extended out so it has a big lying surface. Ilya is lying on the middle of it on his back, his arms spread wide open, on his left side lies Ruby, cuddling closely into Ilya, her head on his shoulder, Ilya’s arm pulled securely around her. On his right side in a mirroring position lies Arthur, one hand fisted in Ilya’s shirt. Behind him is Jade, cuddling into Arthur’s back and Ilya’s other arm securely around her, his hand in a position indicating that he had caressed Jade’s hair in a soothing way before falling asleep. All of them are tucked under Jackie’s and Hayden’s comforter and seemingly deeply asleep. Jade’s lamp projecting a starry sky onto the ceiling, the room feeling warm and secure and peaceful. It is an adorable and lovely sight, shocking Shane and Hayden both. Within seconds tears glistened in Shane’s eyes, reminding him of the realization hitting him earlier that day.
Yeah, he absolutely wants a family and kids with Ilya.
“Fucking Rozanov?” Hayden shout-whispers, loud enough that at least Ilya stirs and wakes up. “Oi, Pike! Solnyshko! You’re back. How’s Jackie and tiny Amber? Good?” He mumbles, his voice deep and rough from his sleep and his accent as heavy as he seldom was anymore. Still trying to understand the idea of Shane being with Rozanov for years, Hayden decides to just answer him, ignoring for now who he is talking to. “Thank god yes, Amber is as healthy and good as she could, they allowed me to feed her! It was amazing to be finally able to hold her! And Jackie’s surgery went well, we spoke with her! She says thanks to you.” Ilya smiles softly, nodding slightly in understanding and humming. “That’s good. Amber is cute. Cute name. But won’t look like Amber. Not so golden. Will be golden from inside. Before you go sleep, eat something. In fridge is noodle oven cheese stuff and salad with chicken and feta and some pine thingies for my solnyshko.”
“What the fuck?” Hayden exclaims, again more loudly than necessary.
“Ah and Pike? Your babies are way cuter than you, must all be Jackie’s good genes.” Ilya adds, most probably chirping without actually thinking about it.
Before Hayden could react in any way, he isn’t even sure how he wants to react at fucking all, Ruby moves softly and whisperes Ilya’s name, seemingly woken up by their conversation but not realizing that her dad is back. “Yeah, I’m here, myshka. Go back to sleep and tomorrow we will make some pelmeni, da”, Ilya shifts slightly, pulling Ruby closer and kissing her head softly, smiling happily after hearing the little girl mumble a soft okay followed by good night Ilya. Now definitely crying Shane whispers a soft good night to Ilya too, as Hayden did before Shane pulls him silently out of the living room and closes the door, shuffling them over to the kitchen so they could talk or breathe normally without fearing waking up the children again.
And good Lord both of them need some time for breathing and talking, Shane heading straight toward having a panic attack, Hayden still trying to understand with whom Shane seemingly is in a relationship with. He had expected some rather boring guy, maybe older, definitely settled in his life, someone with concrete plans and all, not… Not Rozanov. Never Rozanov. Just to do something with himself and give his brain some more time to adjust and react decidedly not in a bad way. So he directly heads for the fridge, taking out the pasta casserole and salad for Shane, setting the table and ushering Shane to sit down. “Come, eat a bit. He made it for you, he wants you to eat something at least.” Hayden stammers, trying to coax Shane into eating a bit. Obviously Shane doesn’t move a bit nor be able to look at anything in specific. “Hey, Shane. Hey, come, eat some salad, please. Everything is good, we’re good, Rozanov is good, the kids are good, everyone is good. We eat something and then go to sleep, yeah?” Hayden tries again, stumbling over Rozanov’s name and cringing slightly. “It’s unexpected, okay? I never thought it would be him, and I need most probably more time adjusting to this, but… Honestly, look at him. He’s… my babies feel safe around him, it’s… something. And Jackie, well, I’m working on my attitude okay? You’re safe here, it’s a safe space. Just give me a bit of time.” Hayden explains further, happily realizing that Shane just looks at him for several seconds, indicating that he at least was listening more or less.
In the end both of them eat something, Hayden actually the whole leftover casserole after his body reminds him that he had indeed only eaten two measly chocolate bars from a vending machine and Shane at least enough of the salad that it could count as a whole meal. Going through bath routines and managing to get Shane into bed afterwards isn’t much of a trouble and both of them had enough routine with each other because of dozens of shared hotel rooms throughout the years. It is quiet when they finally settle in the twins room and Hayden is already half asleep, the adrenalin finally subsiding completely and leaving him worn out from everything that had happened. So he barely registers when Shane starts to whisper something into the dark room. “You know, Hayd, it was him the whole time. Since before our rookie season. Never someone else. I tried really hard, but nobody feels like him for me. I think I want a family with him. He would be the best papa our children could have.” Hayden rolls over, not that he really could see much of Shane but it feels better to be angled towards his friend. “That’s fucking long, bud. And you’re happier with him, I can see that. Well everyone can see that and if they give you shit because of it, well they are dumb or jealous. I guess I don’t know him like you do, don’t know his obviously soft and… that side he had shown the kids today otherwise they wouldn’t trust him that much and all. But it is there and you never have to justify yourself why you love him. And yes, he would be a good father. You both would, hard to admit but I stand with it.” On the other side of the room Shane makes a noise that suspiciously sounds like a half sob, mumbling a quiet thanks afterwards before Hayden gives up on staying awake any longer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hayden wakes up around seven in the morning, still feeling completely groggy but his body remembering his normal wake-up time. Kids just do that to someone, as he had learned shortly after the twins' birth. Long nights awake with partying and getting trashed and late mornings weren’t absolutely not his life anymore. He barely manages to keep on with the others on his team, happy to use Shane’s sleeping schedule as an excuse to go to bed earlier than he should. On the other side of the room he hears Shane’s soft snoring, a sound settling him more than Hayden ever wants to admit to anyone, not even himself. They spent so many years in shared hotel rooms every time they were on the roads that he just got used to how Shane sounds, smells and moves, just Shane’s whole being. Moreover, he subconsciously had started to see Shane as home too, next to Jackie and his children, of course. The only exception in all these years was Boston. Because of Boston Lily- Ilya Rozanov.
Ilya Rozanov whose voice he hears muffled from downstairs as well as the sounds of his children. No wonder they are already awake, it is already past their normal wake up time. They aren’t especially loud but clearly awake and Hayden can’t stop himself from smiling broadly. Sighing Hayden rises from the bed and silently walks to the bathroom, going through his morning routine and tidying up a bit the mess he and Shane had created yesterday night. Not that they made much mess, absolutely not but Hayden just wants to stall some time before going downstairs, not knowing how to deal with a good-with-children-and-domestic-Rozanov. Until now he only had to deal with asshole-hockey-Rozanov, he had years of training in it. But whatever is happening downstairs was definitely something else entirely. Bracing himself for a last time Hayden takes a deep breath, giving himself a short pep talk and heading straight for the stairs.
Downstairs an utterly and wholeheartedly domestic scene unfolds itself in the living room. Without his explicit permission another big smile appears on Hayden’s face the second he takes in everything, leaning against the door frame. Obviously Ilya already had moved back the couch and neatly folded the comforter, plushies now sat down on the coach in a way implying they would represent some kind of audience. In the background soft classical tunes are playing, not that Hayden has much knowledge of classical music at all. Arthur and Ruby moving through the living room in something that could be described as dancing, as good as little children can dance. Jade sitting cross legged and leaning against the couch, seemingly taking notes very seriously - a wild mixture of circles and signs only she can decipher, really. It is just adorable and Hayden decides to watch for a bit. But he does not only want to watch because his kids have so much fun, nope. It is Ilya, too. He smiles softly, completely relaxed and visibly happy. What surprises Hayden tremendously. Additionally, Ilya holds himself in a way so he could move at any second before the children could hurt themselves. Ilya protecting them, like, actively taking care of them. It’s touching something deep inside of Hayden and turns his world like a fucking lot. He most probably will never stop to hate hockey-Rozanov, but this man in his living room, Shane’s partner of at least a decade, is a really good one. A keeper, so to say and it might take him still a bit of time - definitely shorter than he thought - but he could see domestic-good-with-children-Ilya being a part of his future life.
The tune slowly changes to something else, a slower piano track and Ruby and Arthur stop dancing, ending in something that could be described as ending pose. “Wow, that was amazing!” Hayden enters the living room applauding, opening his arms and kneeling down too since all three of his kids are starting to crowd him. They missed their dad a lot and though Ilya had told them that their mum was okay and their little sister too and that their dad and uncle Shane would be there too in the morning being finally able to cuddle with Hayden, being held by him is something important. Ilya gives them some time, Hayden realizes distantly, moving behind him and sneaking into the kitchen.
Hayden just doesn’t care much, he is just so happy to cuddle his babies again and be close to them. He also tries to answer all of their questions, showing them dozens of pictures of Amber and promises to visit their mom later that day. He asks them a few questions, asking how they spent the day with Ilya and if they liked him.
Seemingly they love him. Based on their answers he was just great.
“Dad you never told us there is cool stuff on ice too”, Arthur complains at one point, a pout on his face. In the background Hayden hears Ilya’s laugh, a kind and bright and almost unguarded laugh. Ruby joins her brother directly, emphasizing that Hayden only ever talks about boring ice hockey none of them likes besides Hayden. “They just won the Grande Priksey in Ice Dancing. Ilya told us about it and showed us some videos. It’s so pretty dad!” Jade and Arthur both chiming in directly, agreeing with their sister. Just to prove his point Arthur jumps through the living room again, adding some pirouettes to the mix too.
“Cool stuff on ice?” Hayden echoes, watching with horror how his son and Ilya dance through his living room, obviously enjoying themselves a lot and hearing how his daughters talk about some pretty dresses the ice dancers have worn in Ilya’s video.
“Cool stuff. On Ice.” He repeats again, still not sure how to deal with that information and completely disturbed by the mere thought his own children abhor ice hockey so much. Ilya’s delighted laugh does not help him at all. “Oh I think you broke your dad, pyshka.” The Russian says next, stopping and balancing Arthur easily who made a few too many pirouettes to stand safely on his own. “He looks whole, Ilya.” Jade states matter of factly, critically examining her dad but not finding any kind of injury Ilya could have referred to. “That’s some weird English saying. It means something not broken on the body, but in his brain that will fix itself in a few minutes. Nothing bad.”
And as if that is just something completely normal to happen in Hayden’s living room on a Sunday morning around half past seven, all of Hayden’s children look adoringly to Ilya, before cooing softly and understandingly after hearing the other man’s explanation of the - admittedly kinda dumb - proverb and settling back onto cuddling some more with their father.
“Coffee, two pieces of sugar, a bit of milk”, Ilya murmurs, shoving the cup of coffee over the table towards Hayden. Completely undisturbed, Ilya moves in Hayden’s kitchen, preparing breakfast for them. All of them, for the kids, again with vegetables, both of them and also Shane, including his ridiculous diet. “How?” He whispers surprised, tasting the coffee Ilya offered him and admits that Ilya managed to mix a perfect coffee. “Shane, he told me a few years ago, how unhealthy that much sugar is, especially because you’re drinking several coffees a day”, Ilya shrugs, a small smile on his lips and ignoring Hayden’s indignant spluttering. “He talks about me?” Ilya looks like Hayden is dumb. And maybe he is, but it is still a lot to take in. “Thank you. It’s the perfect mix. You are Boston Lily?” Again Ilya looks like Pike is rather dumb. “Now more like Ottawa Lily but yeah, that’s me.” Hayden nods curtly, taking another sip from his coffee, trying to ask a few more intelligent questions. “Not many people know, too risky. The league is not really supportive and you know how horrible Montreal is to him already and he isn’t even out. Yuna and David, they are amazing. Farah for emergencies. Rose Landry and Sveta know that we are with a man. My coach and the PR head know that I’m with a man in a committed long term relationship. I think Scott Hunter suspects it. Well and now you and the kids know. I guess Jackie too in some time. Please try to keep it to yourself, yes?” Immediately Hayden nods. “Yes, for sure I keep my mouth shut. We will.” For sure Hayden will keep this for himself as well as Jackie will and his children, well, they still could switch it in a way that would make it sound like Shane and Ilya would have visited them as friends. Publicly they were friends after all through their shared work in the charity. Outing them is really nothing Hayden has on his to-do list and he isn’t as dumb as Ilya most probably thinks him to be. He knows how horrible and conservative, outright homophobic many people in this sport were and he starts to understand why Shane had kept Ilya so secret for so many years. Why he obviously tried desperately to date a woman.
And suddenly Hayden remembers something he said to Shane yesterday, something Ilya should hear too, he guesses. “Ilya? We might not be friends and I have a hard time wrapping my head around everything and not being pissed about you standing in my kitchen or being so good to my kids. But this is a safe place for you too. I told Shane already and I will tell you too. Jackie and I are both allies and supportive and you and your relationship are safe here.” The small and hesitant smile reappears on Ilya’s face and he looks so much friendlier and happier than Hayden had ever seen him. “Thank you, Hayden. Is it really okay? To be us here, I mean?” Hayden nods again, trying to be placative as he could be. “Oh absolutely, no worries Ilya. Jackie’s queer friends and I really worked on my mindset and openness. We had suspected Shane to be at least not straight and we wanted to be there for him when he would open up to us. I will need some time but Jackie will love you, I’m sure. You make Shane happy and you’re good with our kids and somehow you’re reminding me of a fucking mother hen with all of that nesting in the living room and breakfast and all. Though I’m going to hold against you most probably forever that you make my kids thing ice dancing is fucking cool.”
Ilya’s bright and relieved laugh calms Hayden’s nerves. He didn’t fucked up his first one-on-one encounter with decadelong-something-to-Shane-Ilya.
Breakfast is a wholesome affair. Shane had panicked for the first few minutes. Before Ilya kissed him softly on his cheek and gave him the most beautiful smile Hayden had ever seen. They murmur for some time, Ilya settling Shane better than Hayden had ever been able to, more sensitive than Hayden ever expects Ilya to be able to. They hug for several minutes, time Hayden uses to gather his children and settle everyone at the breakfast table. Hayden thinks it is also the first time in a very long period he sees Shane eating something that looks vaguely like something that can be classified as breakfast. Normally Shane sticks to his weird smoothie-breakfast even during their time on the roads and based on the stress Shane feels his eating escalates more or less. But whatever Ilya has managed to make looks like a normal, very healthy and very Shane-like breakfast. Mostly they talk about ice dancing, Shane actually knowing Canadian athletes doing ice dancing and figure skating from his early time on the ice and the Olympics so he is able to supply even more useful information and somehow he and Ilya end up discussing ice and figure skating with a really creepy amount of knowledge. Hayden hopes Jackie will be able to calm him down later because his children being interested in figure and ice skating is just doing worse things to him than seeing Shane and Ilya as a couple together.
Shane and Hayden plan to visit Jackie and Amber together with the children. They miss their mom and maybe they could see Amber too, from a distance, most probably. Ilya couldn’t come with them, the hospital is too crowded for him to run around with Shane Hollander, Hayden Pike and his children. Publicly they were friends but not that close to result in such a situation. So instead Ilya takes in what is left in the fridge and freezer, making some plans for meal prepping and emergency shopping. He also does some cleaning, trying to take as much from Hayden’s and Jackie’s shoulders as he could. Jackie just gave birth and went through a surgery, they had three older children and a premature baby, Ilya thinks they shouldn’t take care of such banal things like grocery shopping and cooking if Ilya has the time anyway right now. Or to frame it differently, Ilya panics an awful lot and jumps headfirst into anything that he can do so others won’t see him as unuseful and kick him out. Or it reflects badly on Shane, which will be even worse since these were Shane’s best friends.
And he finally decides to call Jackie. Hayden had given him her number, reassuring him again and again that Jackie really would like to meet him and thank him more personally. With a last sigh he dials the number Hayden had given him. Ilya is nervous as hell, to frame it nicely. What if Jackie doesn’t like him, regardless of what Hayden says? “Uh hello Non-Lily! Nice to finally meet you, I’m Jackie! Thank you so much for taking care of my babies.” She smiles less surprised than Ilya had thought her to be, obviously moved from the ICU to a different station. “Hi Jackie”, Ilya answers, a bit overwhelmed, “absolutely no problem, your children are all wonderful, I like them very much. And they are so cute and lovely. And congrats to beautiful Amber, Shane sent me pictures, she is so cute.” If possible Jackie smiles even more broadly and starts into a long ramble about her daughter and how relieved she is how everything went out. “I… uhm Jackie? Can I ask you something? Hayden said you have queer friends, yes? But you’re really okay with me and Shane? I know my reputation and it isn’t unfounded and-” Jackie’s delighted laugh wavers through his speakers reassures Ilya more than any words could do. “I would lie that it would be neither surprising that Shane introduces us to a man he’s in love with nor that it is you, honestly. I hope Hayden took it relatively okay?” Now it is Ilya’s time to fall into rambling, happy to be accepted and even more happy that Shane had at least two very good and supportive friends on his side. Well, three, including Rose Landry. He tells her what he plans to cook and asks her if he should buy something else or additionally since Hayden wasn’t really helpful in that department. She gives him some more things he needs to buy and reassures him several times that his plans and meals sound perfect, that the kids would love them.
They bid their goodbyes, but before they actually hang up Jackie smiles one last time at Ilya. “And now after you two are finally confirmed, we two are starting to work on getting Shane to the Centaurs, promised. Montreal isn’t a good place for him anymore.” And if Ilya cries for twenty minutes after Jackie’s statement, well, he was alone in Pike's house, nobody saw him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three weeks later the horrible near plane crash happens, confronting Ilya and Shane rather unceremoniously with the reality of their hidden relationship. What it means if the worst case would happen. Especially Shane realizes what is really important in his life and what he wants for his future, even more so since he already started to think about what his future should look like. He talks through all of it with Rose, with his dad and Farah. And then the plane happens and he jumps into action.
He never wants to spend a second of his life without Ilya.
So Shane proposes to Ilya the second his man is back to Ottawa, rambling about his feelings and how much he wants a future with Ilya, a happily ever after including the whole deal.
Ilya takes every team completely apart that was unlucky enough to face Ottawa during the next few weeks just to cry himself to sleep afterwards, not understanding how he is so lucky to be with Shane, marrying Shane even.
Just for Shane to drop the next bomb right into Ilya’s face one morning when Ilya makes breakfast for them and Anya - their dog they just had adopted - on Shane’s lap. “I’m asking to join the Centaurs. I was asked very friendly to leave Montreal as fast as possible, as if I was the problem to begin with, not the homophobes. Anyway, I’m coming home and we finally will be together for real, Ilya.”
Being together for real, playing on the same team, living together every goddamn day, it sounds amazing and it feels amazing too, as both Ilya and Shane couldn’t deny any longer.
And all of it because Lily is good with children.