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Jax, after that wreck of an adventure, collapsed onto his stupid girly bed, with those stupid plushies, beside those stupid pictures on the wall. He wrapped himself up in the blankets, overthinking everything that had happened that day. He didn’t want to think of the fact everyone saw him breaking down, that was a tomorrow him problem. Right now, all he wanted to worry about was the fact that he was alone in the dark.
He had always hated the dark. Everything bad happened there.
He pulled the blankets tighter over himself, trying to block out all of his thoughts as he squeezed his eyes shut. He hated this circus, he hated everything, but there was honestly no better alternative. At least in the circus, he could do whatever he wanted. Most likely, everyone would chalk up that mental breakdown to his usual stupid stunts, and forget about it tomorrow.
Because there was no possible way he was capable of abstracting. Even if he knew he kept attempting, even if he knew he got so close last time. Because he didn’t deserve that mercy, that one act of kindness. No one even wanted him here, so why did he keep hanging on?
The archetype was starting to weigh on him, really. It felt like a much too tight sweater that he could never take off, like a hundred pound weight on his chest that almost prevented him from getting up in the mornings. He just wanted someone to hug, but no one would be willing to, not after what he’s done. None of this is real anyways, so what does he care?
Now, now, would you archetype think that? No, he would have laughed in everyone’s faces for being so dumb that they couldn’t see it was another adventure! He would have been out there, laughing at everyone right now! Why aren’t you doing that?!
He could abstract right now, and no one would remember him. No one would even find him. He’d stay in his room, peacefully being with Ribbit in another life. No more of Caine’s stupid adventures, or the life he never felt like living, or the soul crushing trauma of watching everyone he had loved die. He would never be normal again, and that’s probably for the best.
Nobody’s going to care.
Nobody. Nobody.
“..Jax.. baby..” He heard a voice whisper, making him jump to alertness. His ears straightened out, his pupils dilating as he recognized the voice. It couldn’t be them, though, right? They were gone, and plus, they didn’t care about him in the end.
Except, that was the pet name Ribbit always used for him.
He quickly turned around to see a weird, disembodied hand, like the one he had seen earlier that day. A weird sense of peace rushed over him, staring at the hand, knowing what was going to happen when he touched it. He was finally left alone, he could finally complete what he was sure everyone was hoping for.
He reached out for the hand, but instead of just touching him, the hand grabbed him by the wrist, using him to drag the rest of the body out of the hole in the corner. A shock ran through his entire body, causing him to cry out in pain, but that’s what he deserved.
A distorted, glitching, sickly looking Ribbit crawled out of the hole, staring at Jax with abstracted eyes. It would have made Jax sick, but it was still Ribbit, right? It was still her, and no matter what form she was in, she was beautiful.
He rushed to help the corrupted body up, cradling them in his arms to take him to the bed. He sat them down, waving a hand in front of their eyes like this were entirely normal. “Ribbit?” He asked hopefully, trying to get them to talk. “It’s me, hun.”
“..Jax, baby. Jaxxyyyyyy. Hey!!!!!!” They said, a weird cadence to their voice. “How are yaaaaaa?”
Jax frowned, sighing as he grabbed Ribbit’s hand. “..Bad. I miss you.” He said, tears forming in his eyes. He could feel something weird in the back of his head, but maybe that was just the grief? “I want you back. I wanna go play pranks on Ragatha and mess around on adventures again.”
“Yeah..?” Ribbit said, nodding along. They just were staring at him, leaving their shoulder open for him to place his head. He looked incredibly tired, incredibly stressed out and depressed, something they could take advantage of. “I’ve been missing you too.. And you know, you could fix that.”
Jax turned around to his side as he sat on the bed next to Ribbit, hope in his eyes. “Wait, really??” He asked excitedly, willing to do anything that was asked of him. “You- I can bring you back??”
Ribbit smiled and sighed at how naive Jax was being, even after years of trying to pretend he could see everything that was coming his way. “Well, no.. but I can bring you with me.” They said, taking their hand out of Jax’s hold to rub his cheek instead. “After all, no one here would miss you. You’ve known it this whole time. But me and Kaufmo, we want you back!”
Jax’s expression dropped, his heart breaking at their words. Sure, it was easy to accept when he told himself, but it wasn’t when someone else told him. Then again, maybe they could be his safety net? “..Okay, then, how do I join you?”
Ribbit’s smile grew slightly wider at Jax’s question, their grin distorted and terrifying. “Can you hug me, Jax?” They said, needing Jax to trust them fully. “It might hurt a little, but I promise, you’ll be happier after this.”
Jax’s eyes turned to a fearful expression, but he did what he was told. He didn’t believe Ribbit would do anything to hurt him, he COULDN’T believe Ribbit would do anything to hurt him. It would break his psyche if he actually accepted it. “Okay, what now?” He asked, the buzzing in his head getting louder.
“Just relax, okay?” Ribbit said, soothing him through the process. He felt some weird, tingly sensation on his shoulder and neck, but just hoped that it was a sign his time was coming. “Don’t look down, baby, I know you’re scared of holes.”
Jax shivered at the thought, closing his eyes tightly to avoid looking at it. “I.. I love you, honey..” He said, barely able to hear anymore as the tingly sensation crawled into his ears.
Until, that was, when a large bang rang through his room, but he brushed that aside. After all, that could just be a test to see if he didn’t put his full trust in Ribbit, right? They did that sometimes. He just needed to do what he was told, stay like he was, and everything would be just-
Wait, why was he suddenly falling?
“YO! GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU FREAKY GHO- JAX?!” He heard a woman yell, and he finally opened his eyes. He had face planted onto the bed as Ribbit’s support disappeared, so he had to turn his face to see. When he did so, though, he wished he didn’t.
“Why are you in my room?” He asked Pomni, trying to regain at least a small bit of his usual snark. His whole body still felt tingly, but the sinking sensation of another failure found itself working into his brain. “I didn’t let you in, Pom-Po-“
“Don’t you f[]ing Pom-Pom me.” She said visiously, making Jax flinch at how assertive she was being. “Don’t you dare say anything, just breathe.”
Jax rolled his eyes, slowly getting up off the bed, embarrassed at how Pomni had seen his room. “Pomni, seriously, you’re being dumb, just get out-“ he said, before noticing his hands. They were fully engulfed in black, multiple little eyes staring back at him, a shiver being sent down his spine as he realized he couldn’t get away from them. His eyes turned to pinpricks, realizing how stupid he must look, how dramatic he’d made himself out to be with this little stunt. And now everyone was going to be incredibly dramatic about it, everyone would be stupidly sad.
And he couldn’t get away from the holes.
He started hyperventilating, feeling a few tears that had built up starting to run down his cheeks, before a hand was placed on his shoulder again. He was half hoping it would just be Ribbit, that he had hallucinated Pomni and he could finally finish himself off, but he had never gotten what he wished for. He was roughly pulled into a hug, being forced to collapse into it with the combined force of Pomni and the weakness the almost-abstraction caused.
“Jax, just breathe.” She said, starting to crawl up the bed so that they could both be more comfortable. “I need you to calm down, I need you to listen to me.”
“I told you to get out!!” He said, his voice breaking as he panicked. He hated being seen like this, at his absolute weakest.
Pomni hugged him tighter to prevent him from bolting, finally getting up onto the bed and sitting down cross legged. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll let you cry, I’ll let you rant and yell, I’ll let you cling to me for hours, but I’m NOT letting you go.”
Jax rolled his eyes, knowing that no one in his past had never kept a promise like that. “Yeah, until your arm falls asleep or you get annoyed.” He said, matter of factly. “Leave me alone.”
Pomni just stayed silent, and what seemed like forever passed before she heard cries coming from the man. Arms hugged her waist tightly, and he tried to stuff his face into her shoulder so his cries were less audible. She just started to rub his back, knowing that if she spoke, the progress she had made would be gone.
“Y- You know, I’m just doing this to trick you, like last time!!” He said, desperately trying to save face as the tingling went down. He tried to push himself out of her grip, but again, her arms were around his chest too tightly for him to even pretend to be able to. “…I hate you!”
Pomni just hummed in acknowledgment, watching the black spots on Jax’s body slowly go down in hope. “Whatever you say.” She said, hoping her very obviously fake response would be enough for Jax to pull through. She didn’t want to be left, she didn’t want to see him die.
He felt him cling to her jester suit, like it was his only lifeline. Who knows how long it had been since he had got a hug? “I mean, I really, really… hate..” He said before trailing off, picking up again after another round of sobs. The tingling was almost all gone now, and for some reason, he hated that fact a little less now that Pomni was here. “..Hate.. you..”
Pomni smiled, seeing how the black spots had almost completely disappeared off the rabbits skin. She’d probably stay like this for so long that Caine would have to force them out, but she could at least be grateful he was accepting it, right? “Love you too, stupid.”